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helloiamheretohelp Archive

View 0 posts and 561 comments by helloiamheretohelp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

Chadfishing is meant to be inspirational. ‘If only I were good-looking, I could get women to desire me like I desire them!’. Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 05:51 PM
1

You sound like an annoying twat tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 05:15 PM
2

Top example of terrible faith comment. We dislike the fact women respond to that, and hate the idea of treating another human being like shit. That's the complaint.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 10:12 AM
1

The rest of Britain isn't anywhere near as hard as London, where there is a concentration of super-hot, high-status guys. Case in point I often see male model-tier guys (in one case, an actual famous(ish) male model mentioned on looksm*x forums lol) sleeping with 7s and still getting messed around by 8s and 9s. I don't know what to say to you about the other countries. Berlin is famous for being a very 'casual sex' place, which in practice means girls ignore the relationship/personality qualitie…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/21 10:10 AM
1

No. Women as a general rule respond positively (as in, move towards you) to being treated badly. It's not just a matter of 'don't be a doormat but be respectful'. No, you will actually be disadvantaged to someone who actively treats them like shit. However, you may also want to sleep at night. This is the trade-off that men who aren't complete psychopaths have to make.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 10:58 PM
6

I've dated around Europe and this guy is talking a load of shite. Judging by spoofing my Hinge location to US cities, it actually seems easier over there in LA/NYC/Chicago than back here in London. Go to Sweden (Stockholm, Göteborg) or London or (perhaps) the Netherlands or Berlin and try and fuck attractive girls there, it's not easy by any stretch even for good-looking guys
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 10:55 PM
2

We’ll see — so far I’ve been using boots + insoles, now I’ve gone the whole guido maggi route and bought some actual height-increasing shoes. Insoles are alright, you get used to them. Make sure the boot has a solid back (like timbs for example) otherwise you get a weird S-shape and it looks like you’re wearing lifts
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 09:51 AM
2

Imagine having a face like 1990s Casper van Dien
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:40 PM
1

Pretty much. Sad to see
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:21 PM
0

Jesus christ imagine living in a world where keeping track of your calories and going to the gym 3-4x/week makes you unhappy and feel 'pressure'. Just fucking do it, it's not hard. This goes for men too, god people are lazy
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:39 AM
1

Interesting as women tend to react to simping with total contempt, even if the guy is hot (it won't necessarily kill her attraction to him, but it does diminish it)
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:33 AM
1

Seriously you wonder about the mental acuity of women who say/do this. When she's on top/'the hotter one', she isn't as attracted to her partner so the experience of being around him/having sex with him/etc. becomes less enjoyable. Alternative: she could encourage him to keep hitting the gym... and do the same herself, so she can keep him into her! Oh wait, that would involve her making actual effort... never mind
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:32 AM
1

Don't think women aren't lazy for guys who they say they're really into and are 'super hot'. Many a time have I seen women pine over a guy and complain for months that he doesn't seem interested, or isn't doing enough for her, however not a single calorie was cut and not a single trip to the gym was made. If they gave enough of a fuck they'd be in there at 6am tomorrow morning
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:28 AM
3

Makes sense. You don't want your woman to be 'happy and content'. You want her worrying about whether she's doing enough to keep you around. This is the easiest way to get her to give a shit about your happiness, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:24 AM
6

Just ordered some new height-increasing shoes. Feeling vindicated
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:20 AM
–

You may want to go investigate the past partners of any attractive woman you know. Might turn up some things that are a little uncomfortable...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 11:16 AM
11

It’s not that they don’t know men are horny — it’s that before using apps they are unaware of the sheer quality of men who are horny for them
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 02:55 PM
1

Genuinely if someone is ‘new’ to dating apps you can just see them ‘harden’ to you as the dates go on, as they realise you’re nothing special. I don’t date women who say they are ‘new’ to dating apps as a rule.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 02:53 PM
6

I agree most guys make zero effort with their looks, but it’s probably not worth trying that hard. First of all, height is the great disqualifier - if you aren’t 6’2” barefoot you’re operating at a huge disadvantage with any woman in her twenties who is attractive in a major city. Absolutely everything else has to be ‘on point’ if you’re below this (and if you’re under 5’9” just forget it) to get consistent first or second date sex just off looks alone. If you can’t get this, you’re not in her ‘…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/21 02:43 PM
1

Cialis
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 07:18 PM
1

The height filter is a paid feature on Hinge, most if not all hot women on the app do not pay
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/21 09:56 AM
1

Is the right answer. Read between the lines when women describe their past partners and this is the conclusion you’re likely to draw.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 05:44 PM
3

That Welsh rugby-player-looking guy getting friendzoned by that Indian girl was the moment I stopped feeling bad for being rejected. And that’s absolutely correct, everything has to be 10/10 for women to want to see you again and if you’re messed around you just have to bite your tongue and not express otherwise she’ll get annoyed and reject you outright
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 05:12 PM
4

Oh absolutely. So are men to a degree but I think women are more likely to drop the guy after only a couple of ‘issues’
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:04 AM
12

Yeah exactly. Delusional
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 11:00 AM
3

It’s weird how on average women show up as having higher neruoticism in clinical psychology tests. Not sure how to square this with the obvious anecdotal truth that men experience much deeper emotional extremes AND that taking androgenic compounds (i.e. steroids) makes you more emotionally volatile, not less.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 10:58 AM
2

What crazy shit?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 10:55 AM
7

It's incredible what people will do instead of put the fork down. A huge blackpill is that people don't want to get lean, what they really want is to be able to have a good whine.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 08:08 PM
7

Honestly, I'm not sure I agree. I know some really driven women, both in career and extracurriculars. It's men they don't feel the drive about.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 07:20 PM
0

I mean, yeah, I've walked the walk. I wouldn't be making these comments if I hadn't
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 03:07 PM
0

Yep and he’ll do roughly the same in terms of results dw
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 02:04 PM
22

Correct. Finally someone has said it. Women just didn’t evolve the powerful, consuming desire men did, not even for ‘Chad’. It’s not really sexual either, it’s the need to feel wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:31 PM
1

So from ‘invisible to women’ to ‘invisible to women’?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:13 PM
1

Thanks, it felt like success. I’ve since gone back up to 10-12% because I could feel it start to play around with my hormones. But still, I sort of agree, but women don’t allow me to feel good about myself during sex. In fact, they act in a way which makes me feel less attractive, so it’s fair to say the feelings of achievement from cutting were a lot better
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:12 PM
2

It does — finally getting to 8% bodyfat made me feel happier than probably 95% of the sex I’ve ever had (conservative estimate)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:37 PM
2

I don’t think they’re ‘idiots’, after all, isn’t the first piece of advice to men ‘hit the gym’? Being shredded doesn’t help at all, however. Can confirm
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:17 PM
1

Neither do I
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:16 PM
0

It’s your ‘i’m so upset’ quote I was referring to, not the taking away rights stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 11:36 AM
1

You’re raging but you’re not seeing the forest for the trees. You’re the female equivalent of men who claim ‘MEN BUILT EVERYTHING FOR WOMEN’ and ‘MEN TRY SO HARD AT DATING BUT ONLY GET REJECTED’ when the vast majority of men I know never set foot in the gym, let alone cut a single calorie, or dressing with clothes that don’t look like shit, or getting filler, HT, plastic surgery. Men didn’t build bridges and skyscrapers out of magnanimity and desire to make women happy, they did it because they …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 11:01 AM
17

Anecdote time! One of my exes was a very corporate feminist: “you know I’ve always just wanted to kick a guy in the balls, see him hurt”. I’m not sure I’ve ever been more shocked by something in my life, perhaps the alien reveal in Signs when I was 12.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 10:53 AM
1

I see a bikini or gym mirror pic of a girl who is in shape and I’m more interested, even if she looks ‘trashy’. What does this tell you about what women want
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 10:36 AM
–

My sympathy. Not a manlet but I definitely agree it’s height > face. Excelsior 💪🏼
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 10:24 AM
0

‘Insufferable’ = disagrees, and will express it because he has a spine
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 10:22 AM
2

Getting jacked/ripped/shredded vs being slim makes no difference as a man, trust me
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 08:35 AM
–

The mother is going to fight you all the way with that one. But yes a surgery fund is morally required
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:25 AM
–

I’m sorry to hear that but it doesn’t surprise me
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 01:17 AM
1

I’m just fed up tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:58 AM
1

The fuckboy gets 75% of the physically-based desire he shows. The husband material gets 10% of the physically-based desire he shows and on top of that has to deal with her ridiculous ltr demands
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:52 AM
1

What’s wrong with treating a partner, causal or serious, with dignity and respect? It’s not that much to ask is it now
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:50 AM
3

The 50th percentile woman is pretty disgusting tbh. These stats make the situation seem better than it is
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:49 AM
–

I think he thinks ‘work’ means ‘job’ instead of ‘surgeries’ lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:46 AM
1

I’ve started getting up and walking out in the middle of the act. Not sure why I should continue doing unpaid labour any more than I have to
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 12:45 AM
–

In what way? If she's lying about him being second choice, or is treating him like a second choice but doesn't respond to negative feedback wrt him expressing his negative feelings over it, then she isn't treating him with dignity/basic respect. Therefore, she doesn't care about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 03:39 PM
2

I'm not convinced. I had the classic beach pic when I was in good shape a few months ago, too, so it was pretty 'out there', led to no marked increase in right swipes/quality. Another way to look at this is to go on instagram male fitness influencer accounts. Who is liking/commenting/following? Gay men, overwhelmingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 03:37 PM
6

‘Get joy and satisfaction from your life, independent of women and relationships, have your cup run over’ plays FIFA ‘Wait, no, not that!’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 09:56 AM
10

Nah. I’ve looksmaxxed more than anyone on this sub, possibly more than anyone on the whole site. Went from ‘total genetic shit being spat at’ to top 10% (going by matches, dates, and number/quality of casual sex partners) and I still get messed around and women are still lazy af. The work a man typically has to put in to just get average-looking (let alone attractive) women to fuck him (and at that she’ll act like she’s doing him a favour, ‘entertain me peasant’) is orders of magnitude larger th…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 09:55 AM
5

‘Risking their lives’ you can’t be serious
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 09:51 AM
19

Then they lie when they tell their partner they care about him. Amazing stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 07:17 PM
7

The real “blackpill” is that they want you to treat them like shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 01:39 PM
3

Yes I do. It’s the way I desire them, I expect to be desired back similarly. If not, women aren’t worth the time or effort frankly
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 01:35 PM
1

These are really broad things to fix. Usually ‘chin’ is the less invasive, cheaper surgical improvement. But you could fix your chin a number of ways, via filler, implant, genioplasty, or a combination. With ‘the jaw’, you have your maxilla (upper jaw) and your mandible (lower jaw). You may have biretrusion and short face syndrome and severe condylar asymmetry and so need a ton of grafts (bone or HA) to sort that out, plus bimaxillary advancement. Or you may just have a small overbite and need a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 01:34 PM
1

You sounded frustrated that men ‘weren’t listening’. Erm I have anecdotal examples in the tens, so proportionally really large. There are mountains of stories on this subreddit and relationship advice reddit in general. The meme ‘women like bad boys’ is a meme for a reason. There’s research showing women like personality traits in men that are conducive to their being treated like shit, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 01:28 PM
1

Jaw is law but it’s the same for women too. You can also change midface, the eye area, the browridge, the hairline…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 11:56 AM
1

I can understand your frustration. However, women constantly say they want a dude who is kind and considerate but they’ll drop that guy for an equivalently good-looking abusive cunt in a second. So forgive me if men don’t take women’s words about their own preferences at face value all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 11:15 AM
3

Amazing. I’ve had capped delts (can provide proof via pm if needed), striations, people asking me if I’m on steroids, zero comments from women. I even had some skinnyfat girl in bed recently say that she ‘keeps herself in shape’ unprompted, both totally delusional and quite offensive on her part
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 10:13 AM
2

Yep, overt face changes, from roundish face to hollow cheeks and popping zygos And girls didn’t care at all about the super-defined abs and vascularity. I got not one compliment in the sack for it
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:51 AM
1

This is easy to say but honestly I know guys who ‘have it all’ who are still messed around and have this desire asymmetry by clearly less good-looking women than themselves. I get it though, I originally thought the same, that’s why I ‘looksmaxxed’!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 08:50 AM
4

Precisely. In the case of me and even moreso my hotter-than-me friends/acquaintances, women just don’t desire men all that much. Sure they’ll fuck, but honestly they seem to get as much enjoyment out of baking sourdough
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:58 PM
0

‘Normies’ are psychopathic, so yes. It does nobody any favours for another man to improve his sexual attractiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:57 PM
6

I’m not a regular guy, I’m in fitness model shape with a ‘chadlite’ face. The only thing truly holding me back is height (a slightly frauded 6’ but not the golden 6’2”+) Given my matches and dates off apps I’m clearly top 5-10% of men in my age group. And if you’re wondering, I know multiple guys who destroy me in looks who are having similar issues
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:32 PM
7

I’m not sure there’s even a ‘wow factor’ criterion. I can date 3, 4 hotness points down and still get the same indifference. To me it’s obvious women didn’t evolve a powerful attraction to men (at least, not compared to the other way around)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:27 PM
8

Yep. Many of them are just lazy
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:16 PM
2

It’s about being imposing, not about showing off muscular definition. Obv you need both
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:13 PM
17

People think women are getting railed by chads all day. That’s not what’s happening. What’s happening is that women just don’t give a fuck about men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:02 PM
3

Wait until you hear the ‘no connection’ line 15 million times on dates and you realise that physical size is what’s holding you back
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 09:57 PM
2

Your muscular shape might but you won’t have an imposing ‘frame’ or be seen as muscular
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 02:48 PM
2

Exactly, and if you’re in average shape neither will get you there on your own. You need to be way above average to even get casual sex/a non-completely abusive LTR with average women!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 01:27 PM
1

I’m not sure, I’m still doing it and haven’t stopped (covid was great for this, wfh and then throw on the extender all day)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 01:26 PM
5

Well… precisely
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 01:06 PM
12

Nahhhh if all you want is sex, you WIN. If all you want is a loving, stable, monogamous relationship where you’re each others’ mutual lifetime ‘best’ and you’re on the same team, you lose
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 12:39 PM
2

I didn’t have surgery, I used an extender and pump for 18 months, and got similar results
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 12:37 PM
1

There’s a point to this. Really as an average-looking man you need total facial reconstruction, you’re rarely ‘one surgery away’
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 11:44 AM
1

I can probably comment on this. I did close to 18 months of obsessive PE, added an inch plus to length and half an inch of girth (from 6.5x5.25 to 7.5x5.75). Result? Women still don’t seem to give a shit. Zero additional compliments. However, plenty of bjs with teeth, struggle fitting it in, ‘careful of my cervix’, and not being able to do certain positions. So yeah, you won’t get insane QoL returns with penuma or filler.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 11:42 AM
5

Ripped, natty, big. Pick any two. If you’re ripped and natty you won’t show through clothes
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:36 AM
3

Went from 15 to 8 percent bodyfat. Zero difference in treatment from women
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 10:33 AM
1

Have found the opposite, if anything. Curious how people’s experiences can differ so much
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 09:20 AM
5

Meh men are already doing almost all the physical work in the stereotypical jackhammering situation. If the woman gives nothing back, why should he do even more (the ‘focusing on her pleasure’)?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 12:43 AM
1

The partner isn’t as stable as you think, and a condom + gardasil can protect you from the STIs that matter
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 11:30 PM
4

Where are you based? What is the quality of girl you’re having casual sex with (basically just say if they’re slim or not and a rough age range)?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 11:24 PM
3

Or maybe she’s lazy and wants you to do all the work?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 11:14 PM
7

How much casual sex have you actually had? Plenty of women starfish. They treat you like a disposable toy, typically
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 11:07 PM
2

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:19 PM
0

Tbh that was my friend’s gf and she acted really inappropriately with me (flirting with me etc). I assume that she thought bc she was attracted to me her friend would also be…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:54 PM
1

Correct. Same with height. It’s well-known to be in demand on top of it being hot to women, so there’s a status boost too
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 09:04 AM
6

Happened to me multiple times, three times in 2021 alone
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 10:52 PM
0

Happened to me once. Not sure why she set us up, the chemistry was absolutely nowhere to be seen on either side, conversation was dry as a bone
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 09:48 PM
1

It probably is a reasonably rare viewpoint but often red pillers come on here and present men as ‘honest workers who just get shafted by women’. As for the bullying, as far as I saw boys will not only do the sudden exclusion from the ‘tribe’, but ON TOP OF THAT will actively try to make the excluded boy’s life as rough as possible. The only interaction he will have with his tormentors is the torment itself
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 09:00 PM
3

This is the best strategy. One more thing: Get it in writing if you can. Become a ‘texter’ so you can more easily cross-reference when checking for lies/inconsistencies in her stories. I’ve dated some seriously smart women who were skilled manipulators and liars and this method always caught them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/21 08:52 PM
3

‘A fucking walrus’ lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 06:29 PM
1

This is why dating apps are fantastic. I don’t have to struggle to get and maintain dominance in the group so I won’t be humiliated for making advances.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 11:29 AM
5

On the other hand there’s this notion on these sorts of boards by many commenters that men are these paragons of virtue and women are duplicitous parasites, bleeding them dry and then disappearing on a whim. Let’s not fall into that trap. Men are (typically) vile. Most of the worst, nastiest, behaviour I’ve ever experienced has come from men. Male friendships, even close ones, aren’t all that and I’m sure most if not all of mine would slit my throat if it meant them getting access to hot pussy. …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 11:23 AM
1

Good comment with some interesting points, although the dichotomy between ‘casual sex’ vs ‘monogamous relationship with husband material’ is false. It also doesn’t accept that women can pursue multiple guys for different reasons, keeping faithful guy around for provisioning and protection, whilst trying to reproduce with the better genetics of the hot dude. I’m not going to comment on how well-supported the dual mating hypothesis is, just that the hypothesis can still be made coherent with your …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 11:12 AM
1

Emphasis on ‘prime’ Jon-Erik Hexum, ‘prime’ Alain Delon, etc., obviously
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/21 10:47 AM
4

One 7’8” 5% bodyfat hypermuscular billionaire with a perfect face that is the cross between prime Jon-Erik Hexum, Casper Van Dien, Alain Delon, Brad Pitt, and Tyler Maher. He also has a 10”x7” cock and a perfect golden glow tan with top percentile facial and bodily symmetry. He has the perfect personality mix of beinf ‘fun’ and flirty, masculine, leading, and dominant, but put up with and never complain about any of her behaviours ever. He will be used as breeding stock and entertainment value. …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 11:45 AM
1

The latter in the social and platonic senses. I waited to see what the results would be. In terms of dating my confidence has probably gotten worse because I’ve gotten further along the road with it. I’ve had to deal with more self-esteem issues and more competition with other guys, I guess, since I now know how deep the rabbit hole goes. I’m surely less likely to be a carefree flirt now than I was before, for instance. I also harbour a little resentment against women that I didn’t before, along…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 06:01 PM
1

I wouldn’t go as young as 18 as the immaturity would be too difficult to take most of the time, so let’s compare 20-24 with 27+ (roughly). it really comes down to lack of tons of sex partners. Once someone has had a ton of hot sex partners (and let’s be honest here we mean women and Chads) either they become hurt and jaded by such men being unwilling to commit, or the excitement for a new guy is tempered because she’s been there and done that. In the former case, she tries to make you jump throu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 02:16 PM
1

Thanks. I think bimax advancement changes the proportions of your face in the anterior dimension so that’s why people often get malar-infraorbital work done in conjunction with that. My undereye area lacked support anyway and it was a much quicker surgery unlike the ~18 months of bimax braces-on to braces-off time. Arguably though it would have been better to do bimax before working on the eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 06:08 AM
2

Hah amazing how people are quick to link a facial trait with an emotional state. I had the same thing with my short maxilla, 'you look sad' when I wasn't sad at all! And conversely when I first lost a lot of fat people were telling me I 'looked happier' despite me being in the middle of a cut... I was grumpy as hell lol I'm not sure if I'd label them more transactional since the complaint isn't about money spent but I do find that 30+ women (roughly) have markedly higher standards for looks and …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 07:19 PM
3

Good attitude tbh, sometimes I forget to feel that gratitude that we live in a time these things are possible and that I wasn’t born a starving orphan, so can afford it. In another era men wouldn’t have had these options and they’d have been sent to war (probabilistically in the UK we’d have been sent to fight the French 😄)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 02:40 PM
4

I don’t want to self-doxx, so you’ll have to take my word for it I’m afraid. I looked like complete genetic shit before, retruded and vertically-deficient (syndromic) jaws, bang average eye area, recessed and downward-growing cheekbones, pudgy (20% bf), balding… not great. My initial Tinder results in 2016 were a couple of likes from obese older women from the beginner boost, and I’d never had sex pre-looksmaxing. There’s a clear improvement so far, my attitude is not to be satisfied until every…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 02:33 PM
6

Yeah along with getting shredded, PE, insoles, and tanning I can happily say I went from ‘forever alone’ (literally people in my extended social circle would casually call me ugly) to being able to have casual sex with 6/10 (on the conventional attractiveness scale, sorry for the cringe but it’s the only way I can communicate this) women whenever I like. Can’t really do consistently better than 7/10, 8/10 once in a blue moon but an absolute slog and she’s settling. Better treatment all round fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 02:27 PM
4

Rhinoplasty, infraorbital rim implants + canthoplasty, FUE hair transplant, and filler in various places (not really a ‘surgery’ so much). I’m currently doing presurgical orthodontics for double jaw surgery + genioplasty. Basically an total reworking of the face.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 02:19 PM
5

Yeah I preach extreme looksmaxing and by the end of this year I will have spent close to 75k GBP on looks total (mostly surgeries but including ‘soft’ stuff like gym memberships and elevator shoes too of course, they count). In terms of dating preferences I want someone who desires me strongly physically, and I screen hard for it (I’ll drop a girl if she doesn’t have sex on D2).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 11:02 AM
9

Lol if you think guys aren’t thirsty in Spain and that there isn’t an enormous ‘unwanted men’ problem there… a huge proportion of Spanish guys lose their virginity to a prostitute
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 11:01 AM
6

What? Most young women are in terrible shape. Same as most young men tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 10:59 AM
5

When women no longer need the protection and provision of a man, all be can provide are looks, status (rare), and entertainment. All of those get old quick, so once they’ve had their fill of hot guys in bed they can take them or leave them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 10:58 AM
1

I realise it sounds plausible and it’s meant to work that way, but honestly I haven’t noticed a difference, lowering standards hasn’t improved overall treatment
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 08:41 AM
1

What you write is exactly what I meant by ‘simping’. I haven’t found it to be the case at all. Women are difficult, mess you around, and put in no work even if 3 points below!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 08:40 AM
4

You can get an unhealthy (i.e. huge power imbalance in her favour) LTR more easily for sure… don’t recommend it unless you enjoy emotional pain and near-constant stress. Another thing btw that men say but I haven’t found in practice is that that the lower you go in terms of her looks, the more she simps for you/desires you. I’ve absolutely not found that to be the case, I reckon I could fuck a good-looking slim girl and an obese deformed girl and not be able to tell the difference in her desire …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 11:06 PM
5

Have to say, although it goes against the evobio/evopsych narrative, I’ve found that getting a healthy LTR with a girl on your looks level is way harder than slaying girls 1-3 points below. Same with age. Men regularly talk about 27-35 as when women’s standards drop but I’ve found that age cohort way harder than, say, 19-24. Their standards for looks have raised because the chances they’ve fucked a super hot guy before are higher, and their pickiness for behaviour and cold transactionality where…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 10:42 PM
3

Surely that would be even worse for introverts, seeing as they have fewer social bonds to leverage to find a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 04:32 PM
2

You pretty much can’t change your personality, unless you take shrooms or undergo a lobotomy or something. Clinically therapy+medication takes an eternity to make the smallest movements in single dimensions of personality, let alone multiple dimensions
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 04:25 PM
1

Oh please. The comment was pure ‘who hurt you’ without engaging with any of my claims
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 09:19 AM
3

If a woman dumps you over these trivialities (not usually the case — they’re excuses) she and you are better off alone. Good riddance
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 07:55 PM
1

I look at the ‘work’ they’re (not) doing, and then listen to them complain about it. Simple stuff
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 06:14 PM
3

Some of the posts on reddit about people going from obese to fit are the darkest shit to read
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 06:01 PM
1

Women complain because they think doing a stroke of work to support a guy is tortutous. However, they’re perfectly fine with their bf giving them a ton of emotional support when needs be and demanding as much as possible. And I’m not interested in hearing certain women mewling about it when it contradicts every single first- and second-hand anecdotal experience of LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 05:54 PM
1

I don’t believe you. And no, being insecure and lonely a lot of the time in a cutt-throat world where the woman shows minimal desire for him, and his friends and family provide threadbare support, makes sense and isn’t indicative of a clinical disorder. Also no, most guys/people do not have clinical psychological disorders.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 05:46 PM
2

That’s disingenuous. When a guy has genuine clinical mental health issues, of course he should seek out a professional. To try to get a non-psychologist to treat your bipolar disorder is a terrible idea and putting undue expectations on them. This is not typically what women complain about — they just don’t want to have to reassure and comfort their partner when they’re feeling insecure, or lonely, or worried. We’re not talking about clinical disorders here, just normal day to day human negative…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 04:34 PM
7

My views are grounded in my practical dating experience as a man who has looksmaxed to an extreme degree, and in the reams of academic research showing women value physical attractiveness a shit ton.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 03:14 PM
2

When you love, you justifiably want to simp. Women react to male simping with disgust and contempt. It was worth it just to learn this lesson.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 03:13 PM
4

You sound patronising and unwilling to listen to the experiences of men who date
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 03:08 PM
1

Has anyone considered that (1) men are built to compete with each other and form temporary alliances, so emotional vulnerability and closeness isn’t a feature of male friendship, and (2) women don’t want to provide virtually any emotional support for their man (because they feel entitled and don’t feel like they should be doing any giving in an LTR) so men’s reasonable need for reassurance as an escape from the coldness and harshness of the world is met with ‘stop using me as your therapist!’?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 03:07 PM
2

Who hurt you dot com
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 11:38 AM
7

It’s not even about it being the only reason; you want your success to be based on looks. It’s the gold standard, the best form of value to have as a partner, where it’s immediately communicable, primal and lust-inducing (showing off your genetic fitness in a very direct way), affords you social status, and is constantly repeating for as long as you maintain those looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 10:52 AM
9

As someone who has had plenty of work done (both bone-related and more superficial things like filler), the starkest thing is how women react if you tell them. There’s a clear bifurcation between casual partners having a great attitude (they don’t care or are occasionally even ‘why not! Go get it’) and people who want to date you seriously being totally unempathetic (omg you don’t need surgery! What about the real you??! Are you insecure!?). Should be the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 10:46 AM
0

Workers aren’t meant to expect their employer to deal with their sadnesses and frustrations. They’re meant to serve the company until they outlive their usefulness.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 09:20 PM
1

Well my friend was long-term unlaid (possibly virgin?) before and now he has had multiple LTRs since, with a few (alleged) casual partners. His LTRs have known about his hair system, at least. Sounds like they don't care to me...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 03:07 PM
1

Reply Cheat. Cultivate backups. Your SO can't be relied on to stick around.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:23 PM
2

More men should adopt this view also.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/21 12:02 AM
4

Many do but way more than you’d think don’t. It’s not as easy as you may imagine to turn a casual thing/FWB into an emotionally-charged LTR
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:58 PM
1

When you realise jerking off is better ROI than sex the vast majority of the time, you start acting entitled and prissy. Unfortunately, this isn’t conducive to attracting women
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:57 PM
15

Whoever is the less replaceable partner in terms of hotness will have the knife by the handle. Man, woman, doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 11:55 PM
3

If you’re hot you can (as a man) attract good-looking 19-23yo women well into your 30s. For men ‘good’ means ‘attractive, not crazy, and young’. I’d say 35. If you’re a woman looking for a hot man I’d say 30, maybe even a bit later, it’s really not that awful for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 01:38 PM
1

If you can’t get someone to commit to you guess what, you’re not their standout best option. If you were, they’d feel both the scarcity and the lack of desire for anyone else. So these women shaming men into committing won’t work. They should self-improve, by which I mean, work on their physical attractiveness (step 1: put the fork down + hit the gym). I want to add that I met some really nice (and by this I mean in terms of personality) women in Scandinavia, especially in CPH but also in Stockh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 12:01 PM
2

Interesting attitude because I (and I’m guessing most men) really don’t care if women I don’t find attractive emigrate to some poorer country and get with some hunk. I’m not going to say women despise male happiness, but...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:57 AM
1

I’m not Swedish, I’m from the UK. But this doesn’t surprise me
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 11:55 AM
1

Not that I’m having sex with but I’ve tended to ‘cultivate backups’ in the last month or so because it’s necessary
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:29 PM
3

Not very fake? I’ve never been messed around and had my time wasted by women as much as I did when I lived in Stockholm and Gothenburg. Girls on dates had an outrageously princessy attitude, and not just really hot girls. Regularly experienced last-minute flaking that would have been extreme for London, and I’ve had girls sat on my bed ready to fuck only to think again and reject me over the smallest triviality, literally saying ‘nah I feel off now’ and walk straight out the door and block me. O…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:24 PM
12

As someone who has spent a lot of time in Scandinavia, if you think they don’t use the shit out of dating apps you may be in for a surprise...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 04:12 PM
1

It isn’t particulary upstanding, no. But it’s a reaction to the scam women basically try to pull in relationships. Post-NRE it doesn’t regress into something milder but still cool where people treat each other with respect. What actually happens is the woman starts messing you around and puts outrageous demands on your effort and is often totally disrespectful. And btw even throughout NRE she’s lying about past partners and how into them she was/is vs. you, so she wants you to emotionally commit…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 11:58 AM
3

Long term is a dangerous game to play, past the honeymoon period you’ve got most of the benefits of an LTR and haven’t yet paid most of the costs (emotional pain of her messing you around)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 05:23 PM
2

lol this is my strategy, endless honeymoon periods. It’s really the best thing to do as a guy, arguably
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 05:12 PM
4

Exactly. There’s no such thing as ‘meet women irl’ anymore
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 11:17 PM
6

...implying there’s a ‘real life’ where you can actually meet women
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 10:54 PM
1

‘As if he only cares abour sex with any woman’ Time for a reality check...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 09:25 AM
1

It won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:07 AM
2

I completely agree
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:06 AM
2

Appreciate the result, but again, adding 4in to your height as a trade for baldness as a 5’10” man is a good trade; if you’re 6’2” or 5’4” the trade starts to make less sense
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:06 AM
3

That’s still incredibly coarse-grained, for instance 6’ doesn’t have anywhere near the same appeal as 6’3”+. And a guy who scrapes 5’8” isn’t as totally undatable as a 5’4” guy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 11:02 AM
2

Yes. What if the tall guy has an average face and the short guy has a great face? How much taller is the tall guy? The claims by the earlier poster are incredibly coarse-grained
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:58 AM
1

What’s your vibe with hair systems and hair transplants?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:44 AM
1

‘Never’? What if the tall guy has an ugly face and the short guy looks like Alessandro Dellisola?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:44 AM
4

Literally having a hair system and being up front about it to girls is way more attractive than being bald (my good friend has shown me his results before and after). So yeah it’s probably comprable. I myself had a hair transplant and am on dutasteride for life, I had a balding buzz cut before and the change in response was incredible. I’d guess it’s similar to dramatic weight loss (+2 points-ish)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/21 10:42 AM
7

Of course not because (1) we want to feel attractive to our partner as a mate and (2) when we don’t, we know she will try and get her urges fulfilled from a partner who is attractive to her as a mate. This is a paternity worry on the man’s side, that she only wants him for his resources and not as a mate. If she doesn’t seem to want him as a mate, the kid may not be his, so he has to pull away the commitment. This need not mirror the actual having of a child; these are ancestral intuitions devel…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:17 PM
10

Commitment and investment of resources into the child’s wellbeing and protecting them into their teens can be a strong reproductive strategy. Men have long-term mating strategies independently of their ability to sleep around. Most of the Chads I know are in monogamous LTRs. I’m not at their level but I could probably have a new decent-looking casual partner every week if I wanted but I’d rather have an exclusive LTR with someone I care about (assuming they don’t mess me about... which they alwa…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 07:02 PM
13

Men would prioritise commitment if women didn’t try to emotionally scam them through the institution of LTRs...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 06:43 PM
1

Well she may not have had a choice with the guys in the past - they may have dumped her or refused to commit
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 01:24 PM
0

By baggage I mean ‘there’s a hotter guy in their past who they’re comparing you to, and this dulls their attraction to and appreciation of you’. Men have this too. Not to say that this doesn’t apply if a 21yo has 20 past sexual partners. It’s just less likely on average, that’s all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:28 PM
-1

I agree. In terms of the pure physical experience of having sex, there’s little difference between a Zoomer woman or an over-30 woman. However the baggage they bring is completely different. For casual sex who cares, but for LTRs this is super important
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 12:24 PM
3

Rather than the high standards for a male casual sex partner, I actually think the looks standards for a male long-term partner have increased dramatically in the past few years. To get an LTR off dating apps (only game in town) you need to be HTN at least and even then the usual scammy stuff applies (i.e. she preferred causal Chad but couldn’t get him to commit... she doesn’t tell LTR guy this of course)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 11:52 AM
4

If the comment you were replying to were accurate, 90+% of guys who she matches with on Tinder would be opening with a ‘wanna fuck?’ type solicitation. This is obviously incorrect — I’ve made fake Tinder profiles of attractive women late on a Saturday night and a minority of first (few) messages are sexual come-ons, although this does happen frequently. You can’t send photos through Tinder so she won’t have to sift through dick pics on the app. Moreover, women are generally fine with sexual soli…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 11:48 AM
4

Not really true at 30. At least, I haven’t found <30yo women easier than >30yo women (if anything, they are more difficult due to standards raised by past partners, and my career is high-earning so it isn’t that I lack in provisioning ability)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/21 11:43 AM
1

In all my LTRs and all the LTRs of my male friends, sooner or later you figure out there’s the ghost of another guy haunting the relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 11:29 PM
1

You’re right... but in an LTR your gf is prob dreaming of another, hotter, guy. You can’t win
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:32 AM
0

They’re chasing a chimera - you can’t really express your real emotions in LTRs as a man, either...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:28 AM
2

Eeeeeeeexactly
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 01:26 AM
2

But this is a difference in expression by the same woman, not by different women. Moreover, I'm even reluctant to say there's a 'difference' in expression at all; towards the guy she's lying to, she's not expressing attraction at all, rather than expressing it differently to him than to the past lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 12:06 PM
1

Insinuating he's exceptionally attractive to her whilst her actions don't match up... that sounds like dishonesty to me
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 02:31 PM
1

Not sure about that, I’m definitely not finding early 20s and below girls more difficult to pull than late 20s and above
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:24 PM
10

That’s the thing though — she lies and says she cares about him, is attracted so much to him, isn’t settling, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/21 11:09 PM
6

One of the great Mark Manson articles, ‘fuck yes or no’
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:57 PM
5

Then be top-tier. Or give up if that’s not possible. Pretty much the two reasonable options available in 2021
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:54 PM
1

Have you ever tried being super attentive, generous, kind, and compassionate to your girlfriend? It doesn't help at all lol. I'm nice to (deserving) people for my own peace of mind, but I don't hold any illusions that it'll help me get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 11:08 PM
–

How does your having lower standards when you were fat prove that it's easier to become more attractive than to revise down your standards? I don't get it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 10:58 PM
–

My claim was that it’s really difficult to lower your standards, and you said you didn’t agree and that lowering your standards is possible. Misunderstanding maybe?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 08:28 PM
–

Wait, this doesn’t make any sense..?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 06:43 PM
1

Wait, your standards were higher before the weight loss?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 04:06 PM
2

Jabba is the exception. His sex appeal transcends bodyfat percentage
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 11:08 PM
1

We have a new bloatlord
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 11:04 PM
2

It’s easier to level up than to revise down your standards. I’m going to sound like a FDS-er but unless you’re short or deformed-ugly, not many of these ‘sexless men’ have even bothered to try. And even there... gentle reminder that there’s a guy on looks max forums who is short and South Asian but is getting bimax with genioplasty, has done steroids and dieted, and got a hair system to deal with his MPB. Regardless of whether he pulls girls afterwards, you think people aren’t going to treat him…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 11:04 PM
1

Whatever happened to ‘make yourself better looking’? And if you’re not 12% bodyfat or lower you can’t complain lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 10:59 PM
1

‘Women want to have sex’ is not the claim being evaluated here The claim is that they see being an active participant in sex as work... and they do. Most women aren’t proactive in bed at all. Further, even the sex act itself becomes too much effort; when sex loses its basic honeymoonish lustre they’ll have sex when they don’t actually feel much desire to engage in the act but they can get horny, in order to keep the guy around (there’s plenty of research on this)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 10:48 PM
1

Either you’re fucking three points below your looks level (and still women are passive af here btw) or you just don’t have the relevant experience, sorry
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 09:30 PM
7

Don’t think I’ve ever seen a successful example. If you open your LTR you’re admitting your partner can’t provide you with something that you need (usually sexual satisfaction and/or novelty, unstated). That has to put a huge barrier in between you both.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 07:24 PM
3

Always suspected this!
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:49 PM
3

Have to say... they do. The gold standard for sex and relationship enthusiasm from women is the honeymoon period and that’s barely adequate in terms of effort and enthusiasm. Hookups put relatively no work in at all, and long LTRs are almost platonic in female sexual and affectionate effort levels
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:39 PM
9

Lol ‘I want to open the relationship’ always goes like shit for the guy, it’s a classic
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:35 PM
5

Nah fuck this, just get shredded and prepare for divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:33 PM
1

This is how I feel about hookups I never want to see again and even then I’m not spiritual vermin enough to actually tell them
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:30 PM
1

Not really
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/21 12:53 PM
2

Out of the guys she can get? Yeah pretty much. This isn’t unrealistic (happens regularly for casual sex... to be able to get that on its own assumes you’re in that top bracket)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 06:57 AM
3

There may not necessarily be someone ‘Chadlier’ who she can get (for casual or LTR). This is the set of people I am comparing myself to, not ‘every man on Earth’
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 11:44 PM
1

Oof. Sorry to hear that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 11:40 PM
1

It’s sexual settling that is the issue, yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 11:39 PM
1

Dump on the spot, yeah. No coming back from that. Being good in bed is, generally speaking, about how hot she finds you (inb4 discussions about ‘muh orgasms’)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 11:38 PM
1

Most men are have no spine and will roll over and have their tummy tickled to keep up appearances, so no public expressions of disharmony. Get closer to those relationships and then see how brittle they are. It basically takes you meeting her in an alcohol-fueled context whilst being good-looking or high status; the amount of ‘micro-cheating’ going on is insane.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 10:39 PM
6

Sorry I don’t believe you
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 06:18 PM
8

Allow me to disagree
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 06:18 PM
3

Nah, 100% of people compare current partners to exes. Why wouldn’t you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 06:01 PM
8

It’s not really idiotic, why would wanting to be ‘special’ to your partner in a longtitudinal sense be idiotic, especially when your partner’s appraisal if your attractiveness is heavily based on her exes
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:58 PM
18

Where’s the lie...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:55 PM
2

If it can push you from top 20% to top 5% it’s still worth it
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:46 PM
6

Plastic surgery and steroids.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 05:32 PM
1

Not standards per se but my exes’ exes where absolutely banging. I generally felt like it was an honour to be considered comparable to those guys. They were easily 1-2pts above my exes (you know, the classic Chad archetype)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:26 PM
1

This sounds plausible. Also it makes sense strategically. If ‘woman being nice’ = interest 5% of the time, for an average guy it’s still worth shooting the shot
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:23 PM
1

Well put. Male friendships are typically trash-tier by comparison
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:19 PM
1

There are two avenues: (1) massive state intervention and (2) helping men c*pe The massive state intervention avenue may be formalising and restricting dating to a specific number of apps, and putting an annual cap on the amount of connections you can make off those apps. If you break up with your girlfriend, say, you’re only allowed to date another 9 people in the next year. Private chat over social media would be heavily policed and venues would have ‘passes’ (similar to the corona pass) to fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:17 PM
1

‘Tinder is the most trash of trash dating apps’ yet my results on there pretty much equal Bumble and Hinge, both marketed as slightly more ‘high-brow’ apps (especially Hinge, as it’s also owned by Match Group and doesn’t want to cannibalise Tinder’s market share)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:09 PM
1

Precisely — this agonising over younger women is about LTR prospects, and to a lesser extent, padding the ego of older men who want to feel sexually relevant by clacking girls 10-20 years younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 05:05 PM
3

Don’t know about porn but honestly the actual experience of having sex with a 19-20yo vs a 30-35yo woman is... not clearly different due to the age specifically. The reason you’d probably want a younger woman is (1) less baggage and (2) more ‘attractive years’ if you were to LTR her, but honestly for casual it’s not something important
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 08:53 PM
2

Wtf is wrong with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 10:42 AM
2

There’s an element of truth to this, borne out in the research
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 10:19 AM
2

Exactly. It’s about the excitement of someone new (desire is amplified by the unknown), and trying to recapture that feeling of limerence. Just thinking ‘if only I were more shredded’ or ‘if only my nose were straight’... this won’t save you. And yeah, I’ve had similar experiences where I look at the girl’s ex (on say, social media) who she dumped or the guy she is seeing concurrently and I’m like ‘what the fuck are you thinking’
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/21 09:09 AM
1

These are stable guys. Guys who could fuck a shit ton of girls but have chosen to remain faithful to one. Great careers in finance and academia. Good at the ‘family man’ stuff too, like has cooking as a hobby, is reliable, has strong group of friends...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 09:17 PM
–

I suspect you are absolutely right.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 01:59 PM
2

But that makes sense — she was looking for a hookup, so she considered the guy’s physical appearance first and foremost. If she was looking for LTR material this wouldn’t have been such a wise decision. You’re right that ‘great LTR material but not hot enough for a hookup’ is clearly not a compliment
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:58 PM
2

Have to say this has not been my experience. At all
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:56 PM
2

The other night I was on a date and she was telling me about this recent hookup with this incredibly super hot guy ‘but he was boring and put no effort in bed so I didn’t want to see him again’, implying I’m not on his physical level (which as an objective fact is obviously no big deal; however, her telling me about this on a date is problematic) I left 20 mins later. Are people (women tbh) fucking serious?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 11:36 AM
5

Yes it’s a modern problem. No, ‘settling’ is very gendered and women do the vast majority of it. All my LTRs were the most attractive woman I could get at the time. This isn’t the same for women as their casual partners are usually a cut above their LTR partners physically.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 11:03 AM
5

Flirting is overrated and ‘the spark’ is just looks. Women choose sexual partners in a very cold, deliberate, way in my experience
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 09:14 AM
2

Nope, HVW (and to an extent LVW) have a much better time than HVM. I know legit super-Chads that have dealt with the usual bullshit and rejection, because the woman became bored, and the next hot guy is just around the corner. By contrast, the woman gets to have regular sex with guys way above her pay grade, and can just ditch them when she’s bored.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 08:51 AM
5

Exactly. Next time you’re asked what sort of partner you’re looking for by a woman on a date, list only physical traits and see what reaction that gets you
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 08:08 AM
18

What settling means in this case is ‘my previous partners were hotter than you and I’m basically going to be wishing you were them for the course of the relationship’. Settling in the way described in most cases is within-person, not between-persons
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 08:05 AM
1

Yes. But even if I weren’t, the principle still applies — it should be easier with women in their 30s, not harder
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 07:57 AM
–

Good for you that you seem quite clear on what you want and why you want it. Not sure why guys should get annoyed at you having casual sex with no expectation for an LTR — on the contrary, I think if there’s a particularly female ‘sin’ in heterosexual dating it’s women who settle for LTRs with guys who are less hot than their more casual exes, and then lie to them about it. Of course the male ‘sin’ is stringing women along with the false promise of LTRs just to have sex. I’m genuinely considerin…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:21 AM
2

Fuck, I’m sorry to hear that
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:15 AM
1

Obv the position of ‘women get thirstier after 30 due to their biological clock’ seems plausible, but it heavily contradicts my experience, and I’m someone who has a culturally-determined ‘prestigious career’ so the ‘bux’ side is covered.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:15 AM
2

If this is it, you’re not going to get that all the time after the honeymoon period of an LTR. I don’t care how much of a Chad you are, female boredom sets in eventually
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:56 PM
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Interesting. Quite an unusual position but hey, I respect it
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:54 PM
5

This is beyond incorrect. Good-looking women in their late 20s or later are harder to pull than those younger, if anything. Her standards just increase because she’s had more experience (of hot exes). Throw the ‘good LTR’ shit in (‘I need to be able to show this guy off to the parents and my social group’) which just intensifies as she feels the burn of a need to settle down
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:49 PM
1

People (including me at one point) think ‘oh women over 30 are easier than those in their early 20s because they’re more desperate to lock down a guy before their mate value drops off a cliff.’ But nope, their standards just get higher because of their exes. <25yo all the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:46 PM
3

The ‘women are wonderful effect’ is a genuine finding in the psychological literature. You can dispute the finding, but don’t just make things up lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:40 PM
1

‘Even though I’m not on the dating market for 5 years’ You may be in for a shock
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:37 PM
2

That’s not really the best iteration of the position. It’s: she had hotter exes/flings/casual partners than you so she’s settling and will treat you like shit. Which is about right for pretty much every man who LTRs, not just the average guy
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:36 PM
–

Seems to make sense. Is there any particular reason you only do casual? Sort of a cruel irony you feel more ‘seen’/understood by casual partners than LTRs — should be the other way around!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:32 PM
5

Dw when your ‘hot alpha Chad’ is in the LTR he too is often a victim to the ‘ick’
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:22 PM
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What’s annoying is the total lack of empathy for this process from a shit ton of people. It seems way worse in LTRs, have to say. I’ve been open with exes about my own looksmax, my own surgeries, fat loss, HT, my future surgical plan. Instead of ‘that’s good man, yeah I mean physical attractiveness is important in life and dating, good on you for taking action’, I was rewarded with minimising or denying my lived experience, gaslighting, and being rubbished and told I ‘don’t need to do that’. The…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:21 PM
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I never had a problem with Ginny’s weight. To me, she’s beautiful. Rubenesque.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:16 PM
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For men
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:13 PM
2

Leg lengthening surgery. I could take out a loan and go to the Paley Institute but god the horror stories are just too bad and too numerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 11:01 PM
1

Not putting in any work =/ incel. Putting in work =/ chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 11:38 AM
1

The average man who has given up can still probably occasionally get an average or below average woman for an LTR through social circle. But there’s a huge power asymmetry whether she takes advantage of it or not, so it’s not necessarily an enviable situation
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 11:37 AM
2

It’s no guarantee is it. But all those things you mentioned are good for other reasons too
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 11:36 AM
49

I suspect we’re seeing more of a bifurcation between ‘haves’ and ‘have nots’. Men who care about doing well dating-wise are either genetically extremely blessed or putting an ever-increasing fuckton of work in. Men who have just given up are increasing as a proportion of total men and are just hoping for the odd social circle LTR if they can get it, but won’t be hitting the gym any time soon
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 12:05 PM
1

That’s one way! Also strategically cohabitation isn’t great — desire is built when apart, to a degree. If you don’t cohabitate you get none of the shit parts of living together, and the deterioration where she gets bored of you. You still get most of the good parts, and possibly these are even better because of that desire. You also don’t have to be ‘on point’ 100% of the time
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 12:00 PM
1

Fascinating. This is a very diff culture to what I’m used to (UMC evangelical Christians in the US). To my knowledge UMC in the UK tends to outsource both sets of chores (traditionally ‘male’ and ‘female’ chores). Cleaners are super common here, especially in London. Mostly Eastern European.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/21 11:57 AM
7

It’s the other way around... people who have trouble with (wo)men have precisely suffered those particular issues
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 11:00 PM
1

I’m sure... Without wanting to goalpost-move, even if what she says is perfectly accurate, she’s putting up with it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 10:58 PM
2

Because social circle throughput is horrific so there are meagre options and backups, plus all the usual reasons why ‘shitting where you eat’ isn’t a good idea
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 10:19 PM
1

Honestly not having 6’2”+ height is a massive demotivator and in my opinion you can kiss a loving LTR (who won’t give you bullshit and hasn’t had better past partners) goodbye if you’re not that. This is not to say you can’t slay a ton and be seen as a super hot guy if you’re shorter than that, of course
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 10:04 PM
2

Moreover, you can get more of a V-taper taking steroids and sitting on your arse, versus dieting hard and lifting regularly whilst staying natural (which takes 100x more discipline)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:53 PM
1

If you count ‘micro-cheating’ women basically do this in every LTR. From first- and second-hand anecdotal accounts
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:50 PM
1

Note that you’re hearing one side of the story. And just remember: if the husband were hotter, she wouldn’t be complaining as much
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:49 PM
1

And it’s a good strategy. Imagine how bad someone would flip if you told them “hey, was nice meeting you but someone hotter just expressed an interest, so we’re done. So all the stuff I said about how much I care about you was built on the flimsiest foundations”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 09:47 PM
1

Women getting annoyed at their male LTR partners ‘not evenly sharing the workload’ isn’t about chores at all. It’s about (1) having an outlet for expressing resentment about ‘settling for him’ and her contempt for the man, and (2) keeping him in line with the Sword of Damocles of setting the terms of what chores need to be done and then accusing him of not doing his fair share
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/21 08:34 PM
1

Parents told me the latter also! A mix of 'based' and 'c*pe' eh
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 10:06 PM
1

I don't think so, to say it's 'amicable' is usually a coping mechanism
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 10:05 PM
3

Whenever someone claimed we 'weren't a good fit' what really happened was they found someone hotter. Much like all the other excuses e.g. 'I need to focus on myself' or 'I feel like I'm giving a lot more care than I'm receiving'. Six months later when the new LTR inevitably flops I get the predictable reply to my IG story and 'how are you doing?' and 'we should catch up sometime' lololol. People are usually friends with exes so they can keep them as backups (if dumper) or in the hope that they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 10:01 PM
1

You realise actual 'bad boys' i.e. thugs, gang members, guys who have done prison time, are not fucking hot MC-UMC girls, right? These aren't the people women complain about being 'commitment-phobic'
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 05:39 PM
2

At this point I wouldn't get into an LTR with anyone who remained friends with their ex. What the fuck do you need him (or her) in your life for
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 05:11 PM
1

They often do but because of male thirst it's the sheer scale of it and the attractiveness asymmetry of 'other (wo)men' vs. 'you(her)'. If you're a guy, your LTR will generally be in the top tier of hotness of the women you can get. The 'orbiters' will be a step down. If you're a girl, you'll probably be settling for her LTR, and other guys may or may not be more physically attractive than her LTR. If the other guy is clearly hotter, don't think she won't fuck him on the DL. There's a *much* big…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 05:10 PM
4

Brutal and true. Good sex is about (1) your partner's hotness (2) how much it seems like they want you (3) anticipation (to amplify arousal)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 04:55 PM
2

Co-sign on 'tell kids the truth' but in previous generations parents were delusional about what mattered in male children for their quality of life. For instance, I was told to 'ignore girls' as a teenager and 'focus on school work' because women liked responsible successful guys. This was probably what my parents were told and encouraged to seek out by society in their day etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 02:08 PM
2

You know a ton of guys who are 10% bodyfat and have had genioplasty and filler? Are you an actor in LA? Do you work for Gymshark?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 01:53 PM
2

I agree but with most guys not even steroids... just going to the gym a few times a week and putting the fork down would be a start!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/21 01:52 PM
2

Real talk. I'd upvote ten times if I could.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 10:03 PM
2

First, 'bad boys' aren't really emotionally unstable. Again, "usually little more than a leather jacket, a bit of teasing, and sexual confidence". The teasing, in fact, suggests that they're probably quite stable. Think Han Solo. Second, re "who is also hot", she doesn't even get the choice. She can't commit to the hot bad boy Chad, because he won't commit to her (hence: 'commitment-phobic'). She has to settle for the less hot Marriage Guy
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:37 PM
3

If you check my post history it's far from 'anti-male'. It's not inaccurate - how many men do you know who have solidly "looksmaxxed", as stated above? I know basically zero IRL (other than myself). Men do get somewhat of a reprieve here because they are to an extent gaslit into believing looks don't matter as much as they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:30 PM
1

You're claiming all really hot guys ('Brad?' It's Chad, surely) are emotionally unstable? This is obviously not true. Even Sandberg's original quote is hard to construe that way (aside from 'crazy boys', which was never an attractive male trope to begin with). What it takes to be a 'bad boy' is usually little more than a leather jacket, a bit of teasing, and sexual confidence. 'Cool boys' are emotionally distant and high social status, and physically attractive of course. 'Commitment-phobic' boy…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 09:14 PM
7

The interesting thing about this quote is that it's still threaded with self-importance. Sandberg really thinks the 'commitment-phobic' boys are generally commitment-phobic rather than just unwilling to commit to her specifically. I've seen plenty of Chads simp hard for girls they really like.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 08:58 PM
6

Unpopular view on this sub maybe, but most of them don't put in the remotest amount of work on their physical appearance. When you're shredded, muscular, and have had multiple rounds of plastic surgery on your face and are still getting nowhere *then* you can complain about not being 'the hot casual guy'. If you're 5'2" and South Asian you're probably fucked even if you do all the above. If you're 6' and white but just a bit pudgy with no strong jaw, teeth need fixing, and so on, it's not your '…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 08:54 PM
5

She'd pick Brad over MarriageGuy if she could... he doesn't want her that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 08:48 PM
1

What? Giving the eyes to an opposite-sex stranger as you cross paths on the street is 'being polite'? I'm not talking about making eye contact when you're talking to someone at the office lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:30 PM
1

Imagine putting in all this effort into muh network when you can put it all into improving your looks and get the associated life benefits as well as the easier ride with women
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:13 PM
2

Will do
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:09 PM
1

Good!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:07 PM
1

OP isn't doing that at all
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:05 PM
1

If someone stares at you for more than a fraction of a second (even moreso: if they smile) walking down the pavement they are checking you out. This is basic 'way people signal interest 101'
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:04 PM
1

(1) 'have ever used' dating apps or 'is on currently'? (2) What percentage of women are taking dating seriously? Most of those women would be on apps I assume, so why should anyone care about women who don't use them? (3) Nobody cares about women outside the 18-35 group and below the middle-class in SES.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 07:02 PM
1

Wouldn't say 'no woman gives me eye contact when I'm on my own'... and if they fancied me enough to check me out, why wouldn't they want me to talk to them? This is also supported by that same increase not happening when I'm with a male friend(s), a mixed group, or family members. There's an ego-boosting thrill in 'taking' someone else's partner, even if it's only a matter of a small glance.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 06:53 PM
31

among college students Post-college dating apps there’s plenty of pumping and dumping going on. But you knew this before posting. Heaven forbid men have nice things such as a bit of schadenfreude when women’s sexual strategy (that basically causes little other than suffering among men) works against them
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 12:16 PM
7

They’re serially monogamous creatures, which doesn’t protect you from being cheated on/dumped once she’s bored
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:48 AM
11

If I’m walking down the street with a girl I get checked out twice as much than I am on my own (and I’m noticing less because I’m distracted by the person I’m with, so could be more).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:46 AM
3

Friends taking the piss out of your bfs appearance? They sound like great friends
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:42 AM
2

Strange question. It makes up for being 5’8” with a below average face... I’m a ‘height > face theory’ person so I do think if you’re lean and tall you don’t need the 1997 Casper Van Dien jawline to pull attractive women
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:41 AM
1

OLD is way better than IRL. The sheer throughput just destroys (even if you’re average-looking). And I mean you’re hardly selling the benefits of dating ‘it might destroy your life’. The good parts (honeymoon period) honestly aren’t that good and the bad parts are horrific
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:38 AM
1

Much the same as if you were dating — looksmax to the extreme and then reap all the associated life benefits. If an attractive girl comes your way then all the better but unless you’re seeing above-avg women for casual sex I wouldn’t bother
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:32 AM
1

You can. However for casual sex with women who don’t repulse you, you need to be shredded and your face considerably above average. And probably white (sorry race is a big deal in dating). LTRs obv the threshold is lower in principle but you would never want an LTR who didn’t see you as strong casual material
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/21 10:30 AM
3

I know two average-looking guys who got a gf from online (1st was via Bumble and 2nd was via Instagram). First guy: average-height, average-faced slim white guy with a full head of hair in high-status job. Got a couple of likes a month on Bumble/Tinder. Matched and met one of those likes, she made him wait several dates for sex and she is an ethnic minority (not intended in a racist way; I’m saying his race is probably doing some heavy lifting in the attraction here), chubby, and 2 years older t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 11:51 PM
2

It’s not that - it’s that height is one of the few unimprovables in dating for men and is the #1 determinant of whether you get laid or not. You can improve face a shit ton through PS, and you can improve physique by putting the fork down and/or taking PEDs, and with dick size you can add length (and to an extent girth) with extenders or Penuma. Height is really the big barrier to success with women for most guys and it does seem a bit like a trust fund baby saying ‘well money isn’t everything’
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 06:04 PM
20

Restatement: dating is a waste of time for most men
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:25 PM
11

I mean, yeah, if you’re 5’10” and have a modelesque face you can get laid, this isn’t news. Slightly ridiculous to use men who were famous at least in part for having beautiful faces to disprove the claim about height
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:24 PM
3

Annually?! Should be every month if you have a couple new partners/month, people really don’t take STIs very seriously
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 05:22 PM
1

“Don’t need” would have been an interesting position when girls were looking at me like an insect and I got one match a week off apps (who was usually a fat single mum). In retrospect it was very clear ‘confidence’ was not what I needed but a fuckton of aesthetic improvements which led to the success with women I’d always wanted (to a degree — I still get messed around, left for hotter guys, etc.). Yeah IME it’s pretty much most men. My close friends are exceptions and that is due to years and y…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 11:17 PM
2

All no. I present pretty normally irl (as opposed to my anon reddit account..,). I mean, on dates I’ll be incrementally forward but not outside accepted norms. Is it so difficult to believe that above average (hell, even just average) -looking women are swamped with interest on apps and this raises looks standards to stratospheric heights?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 11:10 PM
2

From dating apps? On dates? When trying to set up dates with girls off dating apps? These aren’t ‘cold approach’
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 10:51 PM
5

What? Men are typically leeches and value takers. Any one of my non-close friends would slit my throat if it meant fucking a new girl. I’ve received nothing but sabotage over the years for my looks improvements ‘no don’t get shredded that’s extreme, you have bdd’ ‘lol hair transplants, just stay bald bro’ ‘wtf plastic surgery, you’re weird’ ‘don’t bother trying to get girls on tinder, work on your career instead’ Forget the even more controversial things like PE (dick enlargement) and considerin…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 10:09 PM
2

‘Women like men to be taller than them and not morbidly obese’ Are you fucking serious? The physical standards for men are intergalactic. My exes’ exes are almost uniformly 6’2”+ Chads or Chadlites! I’m not short (in fact plausibly claim 6’), look like a budget Diego Barrueco and have ripped abs all year round and still get shat on by women clearly below my level. I’ll be getting jaw surgery in the next six months to optimise the lower half of my face, followed by a second round of filler. Men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:59 PM
4

You’ve done all you can! Seems like he has to learn his lesson the hard way
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 05:30 PM
6

Are you going to tell him she shagged hotter guys without making them jump through hoops?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:14 PM
5

Amazing how so many responses to these threads are now like this, on this sub and other subs. We are finally consolidating the swathes of information gathered and coming to strong conclusions
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 04:14 PM
–

Unironically you should ask to see a recent STI test before giving or receiving head. And by ‘recent’ I don’t mean ‘six months ago’ if you’re a casual partner. Inb4 ‘it ruins the mood’... oral gonorrhea sounds like it’d be an even worse mood-ruiner. Don’t mind giving or receiving head but I do suspect women look down on guys who give head, and they think it’s submissive
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 01:46 PM
–

Again I’ve found the opposite. As far as I can see who have been on apps know what their good sides are and they look slightly worse in motion. This is doubly so for very mild facial deformities (e.g. jaw retrusion, or mild asymmetries) that the camera smooths out. I know guys whose conversion rates are in the gutter because the camera simply does not capture how much worse a crooked nose is in motion vs. in a still Let alone the usual height inflation, best candids, etc. In fact probably the mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:42 PM
3

Was once in an ltr with a girl one inch taller (barefoot I’m 5’10”, she’s 5’11”). It was so out of the ordinary people were genuinely shocked and would mention it unprompted Of course most of her exes were over 6’2”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 12:28 PM
–

Interesting how you see all these stories, all these irl couples with an average-as-shit-looking guy with a slightly hotter girl (not referring to the above case, necessarily), and fantastical claims like “[she] cancelled every other date when [she] met him” as she instantly knew he was the one. Yeah? This averageish bald dude blew you away so much with his incredible hotness and instantly mesmerising charm that you threw every other date in the bin? Do me a favour. Sometimes I really think I an…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/21 02:54 AM
2

Yep, I was adding to it. But your answer is pretty on top of things I reckon
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 06:23 PM
1

Finally someone said it. More of this truth-telling please.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 06:20 PM
5

Trouble is, most of that (not being special compared to past partners, not being as hot as former hookups, she enjoyed sex with them more, etc.) is probabilistically accurate
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 06:12 PM
19

King shit. Enjoying the decline I see
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 06:06 PM
6

Because most guys’ real life XP from dating apps is that ‘character’ gets you absolutely nowhere and dating is really about (1) looking good (2) trying to establish if she wants to fuck you
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 05:48 PM
3

I don’t think he’s a 7 either (unless he’s 6’4” or something) but note that SHE IS 34 which is a big knock to her overall rating, on top of her looks. For example they could both be 5s lookswise (for sake of argument) but given her age she is actually a 3
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 05:40 PM
1

Indeed it does
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 05:28 PM
3

There’s a ‘hard deck’ (lower threshold in terms of looks) in which it’s better to be alone than to bother to date under. This fluctuates to some degree depending on the quality of people’s past partners and current options but let’s say the hard deck is typically way higher for women than it is for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 10:23 AM
59

Colour me shocked that people (women, and to a lesser extent men) who have more past partners quickly feel dissatisfied with ‘the new model’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 11:22 PM
3

Exactly. Both a genuine disgust reflex, plus an additional shame of what it represented about my own value. I remember psychologically suppressing the disgust reflex so I could get hard lol And she wasn’t obese, just a little overweight (maybe even high-normal BMI?) for context. Would be described as ‘chubby’
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 11:15 PM
1

In fitness model shape year-round and this is how I feel about ‘slim but not stacked’ women lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 12:18 PM
7

During the start of my ‘sexual career’ I fucked a fat girl once. I was under the mistaken impression I ‘needed the experience’ and in fact it was 100x worse than staying at home and jerking off. There’s ‘settling’ = still better than nothing but you’ve compromised on some aspects, and there’s ’settling’ = it’s not worth getting out of bed for.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/21 12:17 PM
9

‘I was leaving pussy on the table’ heaven forbid! Time to become a full time method actor lest you don’t get the lays you need to live up to your self-image Once you actually start to fuck girls casually and it becomes less of a big deal you realise that any front-end effort (like putting on a completely different character in front of her) is not worth it
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 11:34 PM
11

I don’t have access to the study but seems like they didn’t compare the effects of personality vs. looks on frequency of casual sex anyway, so it doesn’t really support your point that they are ‘the two main traits’. Also what is this weird 2008 pickup artist blogger ‘tough love’ shit in the tone, have a bit of compassion for those shut out of being able to feel desired (take it from someone who has almost certainly looksmaxed and dated way more than you)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 11:29 PM
0

This hasn’t really happened. In fact I have to say that somewhat of a recurring theme in my successful dates is that I tend to be talking a lot, way more than she is. I’m sure your experience is as valid as mine so I’m not having a go — however sometimes I read what guys write on this sub and it contradicts my own experience incredibly heavily
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 11:16 PM
1

Starting to think men have fundamentally different general experiences of women and it isn’t down to whether you’re ‘chad’ or not. Sometimes read stuff on this sub that goes so counter to my own xp that it beggars belief
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 11:13 PM
0

Surprising how what you say doesn’t really matter, does it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 06:00 PM
4

Quite an opposite to my general xp of banging girls off first dates. Usually the sex has been really average, feels totally cold, the girl is pretty expressionless apart from the whole performative side during the sex act. Afterwards she usually expresses desire to see me again, but the vibe is always very emotionally flat, and take-it-or-leave-it, throughout. Women who are down for the casual thing are pretty closed off and it shows, IME
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 05:58 PM
7

Really? I’ve experienced quite the opposite. As soon as I stop trying, she fucks off
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 05:56 PM
2

People will be incentivised to filter and represent themselves better. People adapt to the structural conditions around them And forced to do online for the greater good! 😁😁😁
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 05:48 PM
2

State-sponsored monopolistic dating app in which men and women are only allowed to go on five or ten dates with new people a year. You are not allowed to date unless it’s through that app. There are probably big issues with this idea, but… why not?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 02:39 PM
2

People don’t quite realise it isn’t a threshold but a sliding scale of attractiveness; the dynamics that apply to an 8/10 man apply also to a 5/10 man in that the percentile looksmatch LTR is a huge emotional cost, and you have a very high likelihood of being messed around. If you don’t want a monogamous LTR, which frankly your looksmatch will demand, your only other option is to date down lookswise. The advantage of this is not only is the value differential likely to lower the risk of being me…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 10:21 AM
1

I accepted that it’s quite class-dependent and I’m referring to a specific segment of society; in the UK people typically stick within their class even for casual hookups, and I (and others like me) wouldn’t date WC women as a rule. In a similar sense the dating ‘rules’ we talk about here don’t apply so much in rural communities Don’t mind me asking where you live where you’re in one of the leanest places on the continent?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 08:34 AM
1

No doubt these things have become more popular recently but let’s not lose perspective. Not one of my uni friends or workmates even diets, let alone lifts or does PEDs. And cosmetic surgery for men is still regarded as ‘woah you may need therapy dude’ in both my circles and in the general culture here. That said, I’m hanging around corporate UMC types in London. I think being muscular is more of a goal in WC men, but still not sure about that. But just think that if knowledge of the power of loo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/21 07:20 AM
10

People talk about looksmaxing but how many people are taking out loans to get aesthetic surgery? How many people have seen a maxfac for a consultation? How many men have had hair transplants? Does everyone hyperregulate their diets and hit the gym with serious dedication? Do most men try and do all they can to procure anabolic steroids? Serious looksmaxing is still a very very niche pursuit, let’s not forget that. Great point on short-termism though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 02:17 PM
1

Unironically think those 80s dating service introduction videos are actually rather useful
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 01:03 PM
1

Omg that is an insane stat. You have a source?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 11:39 PM
1

I think we are talking across each other. I am not saying that many men do a ton of foreplay/oral/clit touching/etc., especially in casual sex. I’m saying that either way it’s work, and if it’s casual you have near-zero emotional attachment to her, so many guys think ‘why bother, I’ll get mine and although jackhammering is work, it isn’t as much as it could be (foreplay, oral, all those other things)’. What I’m saying is that even in the ‘lowest-effort’ mode, men outwork women in bed by a ridicu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 07:28 PM
2

Ideally both will put in work with the expectation of giving and getting a mutually pleasurable experience. Both will come, and both will have a good time. In reality you’re a sex toy to her, so whether she comes or not you’re putting in 90-95% of the work.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 07:22 PM
3

I agree with you! What I mean is casual isn’t the land of milk and honey where you get super proactive women drooling over you. You are a toy to her, and you need to perform, the next hot guy is around the corner
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 07:19 PM
–

They did analysis on this - 50th percentile women are the upper bound for matching as a 90th percentile man on Tinder. Try again
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 07:16 PM
2

Far more than that, but think about it this way: if the woman is just laying there even jackhammering for 15 mins is more work than she’s putting in
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 07:15 PM
2

Oh I meant a lot of work in the actual bedroom, leading the sex, doing the physical work, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 04:52 PM
1

100%!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 04:38 PM
12

You have a bit of an optimistic view of casual sex for men… it’s still mostly the guy putting in a ton of work
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 04:24 PM
4

I completely disagree - social circle is terrible for meeting women, because some guys can get an LTR percentile-match once in a while doesn’t mean that it’s a better option than apps
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 03:32 PM
6

I know what you mean, the jerky movements and obsession over one particular conversational thread etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 03:20 PM
1

You’re right of course, but given the amount of signalling about greater acceptance of MH issues and ‘tolerance for different lifestyles’ it’s pretty jarring. And you don’t even have to go that far back, as we know most normies 75 years ago were homophobic and racist
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 03:17 PM
5

I’ve honestly not found this to be the case. She has to be into you first before you tell her how you want to pin her down and rail her. Otherwise it’s ‘ewwwwwww look at the time’
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 03:03 PM
2

Oh I meant acceptance in the broader social sense. Considering one of the working theories of autism/Aspergers was it’s ‘super-male ultralogical behaviour’ it’s quite interesting how much of a dating handicap it can be! I suspect a lot of it is due to autism hindering one from understanding subtext
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 03:01 PM
5

Unfortunately video chat isn’t a perfect 3D representation, but it’s somewhere in the middle. And if it filters a reasonable portion of people out earlier then great
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:59 PM
1

Shit I replied to you which suggests it was your comment doing the conflating. I was sort of replying more generally to the thread, my bad
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:56 PM
3

I don’t think that one on one conversation will make much of a difference. Looks aren’t easy to improve, but people can drastically improve them, usually, and nobody said that getting laid was easy for men. Average (even ‘above-average’) is nowhere near good enough
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:54 PM
0

The awkwardness and the non-masculinity are different, yeah. I’d imagine non-NTness and non-masculinity are correlated to some degree. Tangentially, in the non-NT defence I find normie tolerance for ‘difference’ in opinion and behaviour to be quite disappointing, despite all the usual signalling. As is normie tolerance for mental health issues (they’re accepting of them until the point where you display symptoms).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:51 PM
19

Too bad the guy looks terrible in motion and has a horrible voice; with the video option he’s saving himself from rejection at the date stage. This is a good thing - online you want to make the rejection come as early as you can, saving yourself time and filtering for the people who really like you
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:46 PM
3

The magic bullet for introverts is to improve their looks. Do women really prefer extroverts or is it just that they prefer men of high social status, which correlates strongly with extroversion?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:45 PM
5

There seems to be conflation between ‘behaviourally masculine’ and ‘non-neurotypical’. You can be NT and not be behaviourally masculine
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 02:42 PM
2

Inevitable pretty much
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 01:01 PM
1

The dynamic is the same - try to get an LTR with a guy three points hotter; fail; settle for an LTR with a guy one point hotter and make his life a misery
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 12:39 PM
1

(1) looksmax (2) don’t have kids
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 12:30 PM
1

It’s not even 80-20, it’s like 95-5 or 99-1 for a girl you would want to be seen with. Don’t quote the okc study, more recent Tinder data and REAL LIFE OBSERVATION OF MATCHES AND DATES confirms this
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 12:27 PM
1

Isn’t it validating to have directly ‘beaten’ the other man/woman for the person you desire? As a guy it makes you feel like Billy Big Balls and I’m sure it makes girls feel the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 06:00 PM
1

The dirty little secret of ‘looks maxing’ is that if you’re doing it just to get laid you’re not seeing it right… you should be doing it for the broader life benefits. Platonically you get treated better
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 05:47 PM
–

I didn’t say great body attracts obese. I said ‘fairly good shape’. Of course we’re simplifying enormously as you can have a face like a slapped arse or short height which brings your overall hotness down. But in London you just don’t see guys with low-normal BMI with average facial features and height attract a woman with anything close to those traits off apps (which, now we are in 2021, is practically the way you meet women here). Perhaps through social circle, where the girl ‘settles’…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 11:06 PM
1

You can say ‘we’ but you’re definitely not speaking for every guy (neither am I, for that matter). I’d love my male friend groups to be like female friend groups, are you kidding, and to be able to be outwardly despairing if that’s how I feel like without alienating everyone around me. And you never talk about how you feel with your wife, have I read this correctly? 😳 If 3-8 sex partners is a mean value it doesn’t say anything about the distribution of that. You get social circlish women who are…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 11:00 PM
–

On the one hand yes. But on the other, wouldn’t you be forgiven a little bitterness if you’re in fairly good shape and the only people you could attract were obese? Or shredded fitness model physique (which requires outrageous dedication to maintain) attracting people who are reasonably in shape but nothing special?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:57 PM
–

Listen if women want to get pumped and dumped by guys three points hotter… ok that’s one thing. It’s another thing for women to then go and lie to their less attractive boyfriends because if they told them the truth about their past and attraction to the bf vs prev guys, he’d leave the LTR. This is the real issue. Women are having their cake and eating it through deception and making men’s lives a misery (by the way, this applies to ‘Chad’ too)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:19 PM
–

Pickle: not really. Above-average men are still shooting way below for casual sex (2-3 point rule applies)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 10:17 PM
0

Not at all. Sexual pleasure and sexual desire are two very very different things (especially in women). If not then the guys that gave the most oral would never ever be cheated on
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:58 PM
1

Interesting polarisation from my ‘male friends’ comment
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:11 PM
1

It’s because nobody really cares about men that much. You are, as a man, a genetic test bed and essentially worthless compared to the incubating chamber (women). Moreover, women don’t live in the sexual scarcity most men do, which is why men are more apt to slit your throat for a chance at some vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:10 PM
3

Of course it’s no substitute (that’s why women often try to LTR their FWBs). But women can cope to an extent by having casual sex with guys hotter than themselves, a largely pleasurable experience. Men can’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:08 PM
3

Are you sure about this? To not see a male friend inconsolable and in tears/on the verge of them after a breakup is pretty normal. They don’t want to be taken the piss out of. They want a reassuring hand on the shoulder. Maybe we run in different circles but I’ve noticed this consistently through school, uni, and now the grown-up world. The trope is of the divorced/dumped guy moping around telling the bartender his relationship woes (because frankly nobody else wants to listen), no? Women engage…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 08:07 PM
2

Doesn’t fill the hole; just makes the lack of romance more palatable
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 07:58 PM
–

“Rarely will a girl cheat if you don’t grow complacent and boring” hahahahahahahahaha
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 06:38 PM
8

Imagine having casual sex with women three points above you in attractiveness. This is pretty validating. Emotionally nourishing? Makes you feel understood? No. But it is sexually validating and makes you feel attractive. And man… male friends are notoriously unsupportive. Anecdotally most guys after a breakup are ignored and left alone, or told to get a therapist. And maybe you don’t fancy a cry over an ice cream, but I’ve seen grown men shed tears over women after a breakup, many times.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:38 PM
2

Male friends aren’t really friends… more ‘allies of convenience’
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:37 PM
3

Neuroticism = emotional instability, that doesn’t show that higher instability = less need for emotional support. And there is data on breakup recovery, it’s well documented that men never fully recover whereas women do
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 02:36 PM
4

Are you sure? A lot of women seem to actually enjoy it, the point where they won’t get into LTRs for long stretches. ‘Loneliness’ as in singlehood? Because if you have supportive friends and casual partners you’re not lonely in the social sense. In the romantic sense… you have no evidence for this (it doesn’t necessarily support this point but bear in mind that single men are way more likely to sui than any other group) And if you think female friend groups are snakey, wait till you see male fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:48 PM
7

C*pe. Men do require emotional support — they just don’t get any because (1) people don’t really care about them and (2) the male ‘role’ is to ‘suck it up’ and ‘not complain’. Why do you think men take an eternity to move on from breakups whereas women take a few months? And having sex with a sex worker doesnt give anywhere near the validation that casual sex does (or the slight hope of a relationship)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:44 PM
2

Being single doesn’t replace a relationship, but singlehood is more ‘tolerable’ for women
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:18 PM
5

Male friends don’t provide (much) emotional support
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 01:17 PM
7

Women are better-placed to stay single than men are. Think: at least they can have casual sex, and they have an emotional support group in female friends (men do not have this)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 12:56 PM
2

Worse matches, fewer successful dates. Bear in mind I look somewhat Southern European (dark hair, light tan, green eyes) so maybe native Scandis tend to like people who look like themselves, on the whole
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 08:17 PM
1

They aren’t right there that’s the point. Guys complain on apps because they don’t have many matches and when they do they are 2-3 points below their own looks level percentile-wise. This is still better than ‘real life’.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 04:04 PM
5

It was meme advice in London in 2014… I really think the next step in dating is pretty much becoming a low-level IG celebrity and ‘farming’ prospects via DM as one might in sales
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:40 PM
2

Abundance is a measure, as well as a goal. The average guy have more options through apps than a couple of women in two years hit on you in dance classes. Hardly moving goalposts. If you had ten times the IRL opportunities, it would still be quite a way off what you could get from apps if you took them seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:33 PM
2

About right. These phenomena are strangely enough not confined to couples; have seen housemates of the same gender have these sorts of disagreements too
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:24 PM
2

‘A couple of opportunities over the years (plural)’ is not going to cut the mustard. Two girls in two years? Hardly abundance. Imagine getting into an LTR and thinking ‘oh shit if she leaves me I may have to wait another two years to get some warmth and affection from a woman again’! Sounds more stressful than being single tbh. Throughput on apps destroys IRL throughput, even if you’re an ‘average guy’. In terms of meetups being sausagefests… this includes things like salsa. For years this was t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:17 PM
2

Overweight and the shredded guy pumps and dumps you. What you would do if it really bothered you: put the fork down What actually happens: whining This applies for plenty of men too (they don’t actually care that much about success with women, although they do get somewhat of a pass due to all the ‘looks aren’t that important’ gaslighting).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:07 PM
1

To be honest yes, certainly in terms of SMV, which is why if you go on the app subreddits there are always people surprised they are ‘not getting any matches (in women’s case: ‘that I’m attracted to’)’ and asking how to improve their profile. Usually they are below average-looking and unaware how competitive things are
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:05 PM
1

Well isn’t that why they’re hair triggered? Not feeling wanted etc. (which by the way extends well into the realm of guys who have sex)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 02:54 PM
1

My memories of the city in summer are lovely, enjoy!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 02:52 PM
3

This is the correct analysis. Another hot guy is just around the corner, why worry too much if there is an issue with the current one, no matter how slight?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 02:05 PM
3

In London we’ve had three lockdowns and even before then social circles were tight-knit. Meetup groups were a giant sausagefest, it was well-accepted that most would be 80% guys and the language exchange in particular was notorious as a vehicle for local men to try and get with wide-eyed au pairs and new arrivals. Anyone who is serious about dating here is on an app. Additionally, you really don’t want to be wedded to a system that doesn’t have high throughput where you can’t quickly replace a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 02:01 PM
3

This is what people don’t get — the ‘lover’ still has to put in all the work in bed for little validation or acknowledgment in return, he is basically providing a service.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:58 PM
3

Well bear in mind that Scandinavia is a particular shade of hilarious. I did two years, one in Denmark and one in Sweden, for work, and dating was noticeably harder than in London, even.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:57 PM
0

‘You better have proof’ not really. My lived experience is solid and I trust it, and I’ve dated a wide variety of women (in terms of occupation, personality type, hotness). And don’t give me the ‘you’re dating girls off apps so no wonder’ excuse; apps are the only place to date in a large city in 2021
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:38 PM
2

It’s not really sexual desire that makes them simp, but the desire to be sexually desired and respected as a sexual entity, to feel wanted and cared about.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:37 PM
–

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:08 PM
–

How are those issues you mentioned addressed by delaying sex, specifically? As for your second claim, not really — not where I live (London). Women delay when they are unsure but think there is potential for a good LTR due to a man’s nonphysical traits (which usually take longer to assess). When physical attraction is very high, sex on the first or second date is pretty standard, maybe the third as an absolute maximum. This is from dating apps and ‘strangers meeting at social events’, by the way…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:22 AM
–

I thought in your initial reply ‘get’ meant ‘have sex with’. If you mean ‘be in an LTR with’ then obviously the discussion changes. What’s an NVM anyway?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:06 AM
–

Orange Paisley’s reply includes a subtly different claim, read the first line of that reply (I was replying in disbelief that this was the actual claim the reply made). However, more accurately, this isn’t about getting the girl, it’s about getting the girl under certain conditions that would apply to a celebrity like CH (extreme example probably used by OP to illustrate the point) or, more realistically, a guy she thinks is really good-looking and ‘somewhat out of her league’
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:58 AM
–

… after the appropriate level of physically-based desire has been established, certainly. That level of desire is necessary but not sufficient for an LTR
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:32 AM
–

You do you. However: you’re certainly in a minority, at least where I live. And as guys, given the above, we can’t take that chance that the girl is lying about her ‘never fucking cute randos on the first night’ when we get into an LTR (and lying about sexual history is super common)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:28 AM
–

My endeavours are not relevant here. Flirting for 1-2 dates is normal pre-amble (still don’t enjoy it, but it’s an accepted, but not necessary, part of the process even when she strongly desires you) but I imagine this is not what you’re referring to. Flirting, joking, ‘getting to know’ for several dates over weeks and months before sex is ridiculous and a big red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:09 AM
–

My ‘filtering for desire’ date behaviour and ‘<3-date sex for LTR threshold’ is standardised and doesn’t change for any woman I’m attracted to, whether it’s Margot Robbie or the girl next door, so yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:06 AM
–

We’re not talking about 1-2 dates of flirting and escalation when we talk about ‘waiting’. But making sure you’re in a girl’s ‘top bracket’ in terms of the guys she’s been with is an excellent strategy to prevent (1) being cheated on and (2) being treated like shit. As an aside, I personally find flirting and joking before that desire has been rubber-stamped (through early sex) pretty tedious.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:31 PM
–

Why should you have to be Chris Hemsworth (one of the highest SMV men in the world) to get an average+ woman to actually desire you… this is where we’re at now?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:17 PM
–

The goat sacrifice is what’s holding me back from getting the 10s. Farmers beware
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 09:31 PM
1

Great criterion ‘she should give me her best’. Absolutely you want to grill her on past partners, iron out inconsistencies in her story, read between the lines, etc. 👑
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:59 PM
2

No sex: below a 6; any woman who is a single mum; any woman of below middle-class SES; any woman with a long history of drug abuse; extreme emotional instability; comes from trad family from diff culture who will ‘take issue’ with me; has boyfriend/husband already Only sex: above a 6; does not put out within 2 dates Commit: the most attractive woman I can realistically get, who puts out within 2 dates; is upper-middle-class or above; ‘intense’; intelligent (top uni, high-level white-collar job),…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:56 PM
1

Absolutely! Have done this before too
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 10:49 PM
1

Come on, interpret the general thrust of the comment, which is ‘if she doesn’t look good when dressed to the nines/with tons of makeup on…’
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 05:38 PM
3

Women lie to their boyfriends all the time (cf. ‘i want you so much, i’m so into you’ when she’s fucked way hotter and makes him jump through hoops the other guys didn’t)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 03:48 PM
1

That’s exactly what I do 😊. And glad you have found a strategy that is working for you
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:55 PM
1

I’d compromise on practically everything (apart from blatant disrespect) other than physical attractiveness at this point. The differences in treatment (of me) between women who I have sex with are minimal at best, and hotness makes everything more palatable
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:34 PM
1

Precisely, and the vast majority of women will pull this BS, in my experience (and that of other guys I know). I have to say LTRs seem like a bit of a scam at this point, for all the niceness of the honeymoon period.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:32 PM
2

Idk man, I’ve been in that situation where they pull BS and you tell her to fuck off, and she… fucks off. The sheer abundance above-average-looking women have in major cities means she can safely assume the next hot guy is just around the corner
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 01:19 PM
2

Jeans and a sweater is fine. C*pe more about your need to be dressed in formalwear every time you leave the house, though
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:12 PM
0

Lol I used to know a girl that had no word of a lie THOUSANDS of $ worth of makeup in her bathroom cabinet. She used most of it to hide adult acne that could have been solved with a course of accutane…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:09 PM
2

No no, women definitely have it better. Let’s not be all diplomatic now
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:04 PM
2

Cute how women think fake nails and fake lashes actually make the slightest difference in their physical attractiveness. This is all performative - if they really cared about being hotter to men most women would be in the gym and on a permanent cutting diet. Also OP tallies female beauty upkeep at about $600 a month, that’s $7200 a year. That’s less than just one of the multiple plastic surgeries I had in order to be seen as sexually viable by non-overweight women. It’s nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 12:03 PM
0

King!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 11:40 AM
8

And a support group. Women’s female friends listen to their grievances post-breakup and lift them up. I remember after I broke up with my last ex, most of my male ‘friends’ never even asked if I was doing ok, and the ones I spoke to about it didn’t seem like they wanted to hear very much
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/21 09:59 AM
38

Yes, all the hot guys I know get ghosted, flaked on, and messed around. Yes, they have sex with decent-looking women off apps. Yes, they get their hearts broken by the LTR they treasured so much. Yes, they get cheated on. Being an attractive man is definitely a huge plus, but don’t think it fully protects you against disappointment and heartbreak.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:39 PM
1

‘Chad’ is still going down 2-3 points for his FWBs… it’s just that they are 6-7s (as he is a 9) so they’re actually attractive. The relative disappointment in dating significantly down, however, is pretty similar for ‘Chad’ and ‘average guy’
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 03:46 PM
3

No no I mean psych studies are so notoriously unreliable that it’s worth generating your own anecdotal conclusions first and holding a bias towards them (my original comment is an adaptation of a Paul Krugman comment about economic theory)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 12:47 PM
1

You mean absence of evidence for the dual mating hypothesis?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 12:34 PM
3

Remember if it’s social psychology and it’s between the studies and your lying eyes… trust your lying eyes
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:47 AM
1

Well precisely, their preference won’t change due to ovulation but no matter what evopsych studies say, my eyes see that women have ‘stable’, less physically-attractive bfs that work hard to maintain her interest, and regularly cheat on them with hotter guys who… don’t work as hard and don’t seriously dangle the promise of being a stable partner in the future in front of her. You also never see women cheat on hot guys for a guy less hot but richer and more ‘stable’… fancy that
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:46 AM
2

Do you enjoy having regular sex with women 2-3 points below you? If you do, congrats, the lifestyle is for you
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 11:39 AM
2

Women’s magical intuition about whether you’re wearing 1” insoles and 1” boots, yes I’m sure they can tell, it’s like seeing someone walk on stilts 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/21 09:48 AM
1

Insoles + boots will give you a solid 2”. As someone 5’10” barefoot it allows me to crack 6’ which as we know opens up a whole new world of opportunities
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:46 PM
2

This is among the best life advice you’ll get, let alone dating advice. Start earning to get that surgery cash, and get shredded. You will notice people treating you a lot better.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:44 PM
0

What’s waiting at the end is someone 1-3 points below you. Unless you date in social circle, in which case you can probably score same or even hotter. However, there are disadvantages to this situ too. You decide whether the juice is worth the squeeze
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:43 PM
2

Probably the best ‘non-redpill’ advice for your situation is to get on dating apps. If you manage to get dates off it, it allows you a low-social-risk environment to get more comfortable expressing your sexuality/hitting on women/the mating dance. It’s too high-risk to learn this within a closed social circle environment. You will fuck up a few times (basically by hitting on someone who isn’t into you — by the way, for clarity, no means no and a pressured yes also means no) which craters your st…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 10:39 PM
5

… is the right answer
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:12 PM
7

I’m inclined to agree with you, and this sort of means you can never make her feel incredibly valued and wanted, which is a sad state of affairs
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 03:15 PM
1

Men need to start having standards and not having casual sex with women 3 points below them. We need to function more like a trade union. Of course, men don’t care about each other qua men anywhere near the extent women care about each other qua women, so this is a pipe dream
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 02:46 PM
2

You’re totally on point - it’s very boomerish bootstrap talk. Reminds me of an anecdote: I used to date a (very progressive) woman who when walking around the city refused to give money to homeless men (maybe 4 or 5 approached us, we were out on a really long day). The first homeless woman who approached to ask for money she reached into her pocket. I could not look at her the same way afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:42 PM
4

Frequency of orgasm =/ quality of sex. Also if direct self-reports… lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:39 PM
2

There’s evidence sexual interest drops like a stone for women once she gets commitment. With men less so
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:35 PM
4

‘Prove it’ meh, I don’t have stats. But who cares, just watch who women ‘use just for sex’ vs. the guys who put in tons of effort giving her orgasms (typically someone who is less good-looking but a relationship partner). If anyone were to do a series of comprehensive studies on this they’d find this to be true. Regular women aren’t desperate for anyone, hot or otherwise, no. But their best sex is with the hottest guys, that’s my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:34 PM
3

‘The only way to know for sure if they have what it takes is for them to be established’. Correct. And ambition has incredibly little to do with that. ‘Ambition’ is used as a euphemism by women to mean ‘established’, but they just don’t want to be accused of rewarding privilege so they use a term which seems more under someone’s control. Especially when women are predominantly (and vocally) left-wing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:29 PM
10

That exception is way more common than 0.01% of men. Think of it as ‘any guy 3 points above her in physical attractiveness’. And yes, most sexually active women (who are over 23 and have had, say, 7+ lifetime partners) in a large city have experienced this. Also people talk about the orgasm gap - women’s enjoyment of sex is typically due to the hotness of the guy, not how often or how strongly they orgasm (although in fact these are related). Watch what they do, not what they say. Finally about …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:22 PM
3

Perhaps for some men but I have to say the passion for me in LTRs never really diminished
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:20 PM
1

You are not seriously claiming that the main determinant of high SES is ‘effort’. Jesus Christ. Sorry but it’s not worth debating with someone who actually believes this
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:14 PM
1

Because they don’t have hotter past partners (failed proto-LTRs) to compare their current ‘more realistic’ boyfriend option to
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:08 PM
1

And you are totally correct. Nofap has obviously been blessing you with that famous clarity of thought
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 01:08 PM
5

Compared to IQ, socioeconomic background, physical attractiveness, low neuroticism…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:59 PM
2

‘Getting treated better’ is more of a dynamically-dependent measure that interacts with your looks level vs. hers. You ‘get treated better’ in that space between the first time you have sex as an FWB moving towards an exclusive LTR, right until a week after the LTR becomes exclusive. This only applies if you’re clearly more physically attractive than her, of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:58 PM
3

Misguided. Women get bored after a few months of proper LTRing, sexual frequency goes down even if you’re the hot Chad (seen it happen many times with guys I know)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:54 PM
3

You realise that ‘ambition’ actually doesn’t have that much to do with whether people are successful in their careers, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:49 PM
0

‘Emotional labour’ is either having to actually demonstrate you give a shit about the guy, or yes you’re swamped with requests for reassurance because he literally cannot get that anywhere else (not even from therapy).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:48 PM
5

What you offer: Top-decile (or even moreso) physical shape, hopefully facial aesthetics with some surgical procedures, full head of hair (hopefully), non-short height (5’10” MINIMUM), white (unfortunately racism informs sexual preference in the West in 2021) Top-decile (or even higher) ESTABLISHED career, but not something like the trades or IT; something glamourous like top-level finance, consulting, or law. Or if you’re in the arts, you have to be a performing artist at the top of the tree. Ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 12:45 PM
1

For men: (1) Remember that high attrition rates are the name of the game. If you’re not getting rejected after most first dates, you’re not aiming high enough to achieve your full potential at your current looks level. Rejection is good, it tells you where your value is at and if you can do better. (2) pre-date try and get a short video call, voice call, or at least voice messages out of the way. This helps filter out the women who won’t be into you from the jump. The order above is from best to…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:33 PM
1

Work on your looks, fuck the hottest Chads you can, and get good at obscuring the truth about your past to the guy you inevitably settle for. I mean this completely unironically
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 11:15 PM
1

Behaviour does something (you gotta be a bit of a c**t) but looks are 95% of it and for men it’s height-face-frame-race, much of which is immutable
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:34 PM
1

This isn’t really how it works. Most average+ single twenties middle-class+ women in London do 2-4 month mini-relationships or have one or two ‘dick appointment’ guys a week. Or less commonly they will do the dual mating thing and have one ‘hookup’ guy and one cuddle buddy guy (who they fuck through gritted teeth).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:32 PM
1

Hinge allows posting of videos
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:15 PM
6

Interesting that people think ‘never disagreeing’ is a bad thing that lowers value. Whenever I’ve (calmly, politely, even sometimes diplomatically) disagreed with a woman she has looked at me like absolute vermin. And no, I’m not saying stupid shit, the disagreements were considered. Gotta roll your eyes internally and change the subject instead
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:06 PM
1

Must say I’m not seeing this at all. My match/rejection rates on dating apps with the 28-35 crowd is the same as it is with the 19-27 crowd. Just this last week I was dropped by a very average-looking 34yo, I was pretty shocked (as in: “you are rejecting me??”)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 10:01 PM
1

It is. Women will say it isn’t but watch their actions…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:30 PM
2

Ah I’m in London so the dating culture is super different to India
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 02:54 PM
3

If she’s ‘easy’ for you that means she thinks you’re hot
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 08:58 PM
1

K I N G S H I T
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 08:33 PM
1

Precisely. All this ‘oh if only I were Chad all my problems would go away’. No. Don’t think he doesn’t have to put up with enormous amounts of bullshit
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 08:04 PM
1

Yes I absolutely do rank sexual partners lol. If the current girl isn’t among the best I’ve ever had I can’t bring myself to be enthusiastic about her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:54 PM
1

Men need to start thinking about why the woman isn’t worrying about being his hottest sexual partner. This is a huge concern
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:51 PM
1

Yup. Thank god eh
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:39 PM
1

Er yes you do. People compare to their ‘best’ all the time
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:37 PM
1

You can, using good metrics: (1) how quickly she fucks you (2) how enthusiastically and how often she initiates sex (3) after investigating her prev bfs by having her share full history (and trying to catch her out on any inconsistencies i.e. lies), she will let you get away with far more than she did with them (ofc she could omit or be a great liar) (4) at times removing all the affection and seeing if the relationship can survive easily on ‘just sex’
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:37 PM
1

Absolutely.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:33 PM
–

Post example. Guarantee it’s not natty
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:19 PM
–

Exactly. Unsure whether OP knows how competitive it all really is for straight men
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:15 PM
4

Pretty standard once you get past the honeymoon period. I’ve seen the 6’4” Hot Chad told by his gf years into the LTR that she ‘didn’t feel sexual desire anymore’ and that she ‘wanted to open up the relationship’. Being hot doesn’t insulate you from the switch being turned off because she thinks ‘mission accomplished’ in securing commitment. This is why you need to keep a bit of distance all the time, cultivate backups, don’t actively push for labelling the LTR, see her once or twice a week max,…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 07:01 PM
3

The opposite: if there’s no sex on date 2 max, don’t consider her for an LTR
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 06:55 PM
6

Absolute real talk. Thanks for the excellent link
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 01:41 AM
3

If the girl sees you merely casually rather than as a potential LTR (who she is putting out quickly for), it’s pretty soulless, yeah
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 01:39 AM
5

It’s not really that: ‘casual guy’ isn’t really casual to her much of the time - she actually is trying to get an LTR with him (and fails). Don’t worry though - even if you do get with her quickly, and are in her ‘top bracket’, after the honeymoon period of great treatment (just like ‘casual guy’) you end up getting the second-rate treatment anyway. LTRs after a few months seem like more and more of a scam these days, I’m afraid
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/21 01:35 AM
–

Well no, I clearly said my sample size is larger than one but I’m pretty sure yours isn’t large either. Social circle is completely unfeasible for casual sex for most men. It’s pretty unfeasible for LTRs, too, but way moreso for casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 02:06 AM
–

For a 5’9” guy baldness will tank his appeal. And no tbh I don’t know a single bald guy who does remotely well on dating apps (although my sample size is low). I even knew a guy (slightly above avg with hair) who was receding, shaved his head, and then said ‘what have I done? My dating life has collapsed!’ He had girls on Tinder openly ask if the bald photos were the most recent, and unmatched when he said yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 01:39 AM
–

I didn’t count insurance. I live in the UK where anything elective for aesthetic reasons is off the table for NHS treatment. This is similarly so in most of Western Europe. I’ve known people to get bimax on insurance in the US, however. Leanness is absolutely the priority over increasing muscle mass. The looksmax community has known this for years and tbh it’s sort of not debatable at this point. Matches on dating apps and sexual success will be wildly improved with a hair system. You think it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 01:11 AM
1

Absolutely yes. We know this, because we also know that race (unfortunately) is a big factor in perceived social status. Why do women really like white men vs. other races, typically? Why is it considerably easier as a white man to get a minority ethnic woman than a white (and possibly east asian now, tbf) woman of similar facial attractiveness?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:51 AM
–

Socialisation ain’t that fun when you’re not good-looking. The dirty little secret of improving your looks is that it’s worth doing for the broader life benefits alone, not simply for more/better sex
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:36 AM
–

All bets are off with social circle
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:35 AM
–

The average guy can become attractive enough for casual sex… by becoming above-average. This isn’t really wild news. As someone who put in years into solid difficult expensive looks improvements, I’d disagree with: Step 1: the gym is important but the priority is being lean (10% bodyfat year round). Yes, go to the gym to build and keep muscle but being this lean makes your face look way better, and your physique will look better (muscles will be ‘defined’). Not only that, being lean gives you a …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:29 AM
–

The gripe against ‘hypergamy’ has little to do with income or ‘AF/BB’ and all to do with a natural male fear of being ‘settled for’ (and not necessarily for ‘provider traits’)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:17 AM
2

The second, obviously, as receptiveness and enthusiasm towards having sex is the primary symptom of strong desire. But both situs suck.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:14 AM
–

It’s probably hard to infer anything in the situation described in your third paragraph. My best guess is that the guys pushing to extend that foreplay session are just trying to get closer to having sex. What happens afterwards is obviously more telling. That said: there’s plenty of variance between men on what they get out of sex. Some people love the rough animalistic aspect; some love the tenderness and cuddling; for some it’s a d/s dynamic; for others it’s just a race to get to the orgasm. …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 12:13 AM
2

Don’t answer the fucking question. She has no right to know who she’s competing against.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 12:21 PM
6

Are you serious? Both guys are way above average
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 12:19 PM
1

Ah chewing mastic is to increase jaw width through masseter development? That’s not really my ‘issue’ facially - I’m vertically deficient in the upper jaw and there’s some mild-moderate asymmetry to correct, too. Glad it worked for you, and thanks! To go under the knife is never a stress-free prospect, and definitely no chewing for months afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 11:07 AM
1

Ok well I’m 7.25x5.5 so there’s a clear difference here - I’m in the top 2.5%, you’re in the top 0.3% of volume by the calcSD Western Average. If 8.25x5.75 is your size then you’re almost certainly the biggest any girl you meet has had. This is as I suspected - to get a reaction it’s insufficient to be above average or significantly above by a margin; you need to be clearly at the top of her tree. This, sadly, applies to physical attractiveness too. Instinctively as guys I think we know this ‘wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 01:20 AM
1

Classic questions apply: (1) which city do you live in (2) what’s your bpel, nbpel, and mseg (3) do you use dating apps primarily
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 12:51 PM
1

The problem is if you go from FWB to BF you can be as hot as you like, post-honeymoon period she’ll start demanding more from you in terms of ‘long-term traits’ and taking more issue with little things you do. Don’t think that being a tall muscular good-looking guy protects you from this
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:56 AM
2

Exactly. I’ve had two LTRs off first date sex and both were not only towards the top (physically speaking) of who I could attract, but they were bringing so much more to the table and were both affectionate and great to hang out with, interesting people
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:53 AM
1

Thank you for saying this
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:46 AM
3

It’s not about ‘showing interest’, it’s about (1) strength of sexual interest and (2) lack of ambiguity For (1) the earlier she fucks you the stronger her sexual attraction to you is. You want this to be as high as possible when entering an LTR because if you’re not in her top bracket of suitors you’re going to have to deal with so much shit down the road. There is no earlier time than the first date, so it’s a pretty strong signal you’re top bracket. For (2) asking about hobbies, dreams, etc., …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 12:40 AM
5

Quoting the 30% male celibacy figure from the GSS (which is obv underreported, pre-covid, and doesn’t isolate large urban areas for all I know, which are what matters), when there are very recent UK university figures of easily north of 50%, is bordering on disingenuous. Notice the lack of claim about swipe rates on dating apps, too. Also, the analysis is incredibly coarse-grained. If a man is in an LTR that says nothing about the quality of LTR itself. From what I see, men in LTRs generally get…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 02:37 PM
3

Probably plenty of both. Men can be absolutely vile. I’ve personally seen guys treat girlfriends like total shit. I can believe that men regularly physically and emotionally abuse women and that this is pervasive. On the other hand, I’ve also personally seen (and experienced) women taking the absolute piss, then blaming me for being annoyed at them and calling out her poor behaviour. I’ve seen rampant cheating and micro-cheating, and regular shit-talking, disrespect, and gaslighting of boyfriend…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 02:31 AM
1

Classic. I remember saying something along those lines and she replied ‘but that sounds like you’re threatening me! I don’t like being threatened’ The slight twist in the language, using the word ‘threat’ to insinuate the comment was inappropriately controlling
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 02:26 AM
–

There always seems to be a ‘my short friend’ story online but I never see short guys slaying irl and neither do any of my friends 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 05:17 PM
–

5’10” and 5’4” are very very different. If you’re in shape, have hair, and your face is good, hookups with decent-looking women are within reach for sure
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 05:17 PM
0

Here’s a guy who gets it. Causal sex is often an incredibly lonely experience
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 10:45 AM
3

It’s not about him not being the perfect lover. It’s about him not being at the top end of her sexual partners in attractiveness. So no, not everyone ‘settles’. Men certainly don’t, generally speaking. And lol he literally is in an insecure position, it’s rational for him to be insecure when he’s being settled for. The woman will still get offers from hotter guys, she mistakenly sees an opportunity to get into an LTR with these guys, so the temptation to cheat will be there (and many times she w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:58 PM
2

Do you realise how impossible ‘stepping his game up to be her #1’ and ‘lowering his standards’ are? You’re asking guys to get 150k+ in dangerous, years-long surgeries, and asking them to have sex with women they’re thoroughly unattracted to (unless you’re super super hot as a guy, the only girl you will be number 1 for is going to be clearly overweight unless she only has a couple of previous partners or less). Imagine if we asked women to choose between those options! My position is I don’t thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:54 PM
1

Blame men for fucking 2-3 points below because it’s easy, ruining the women for other men who would LTR them Blame women for deluding themselves they can LTR men 2-3 points above, and for then treating the boyfriends closer to their level (who they eventually settle for) like shit
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:36 PM
1

Are you serious? I’d happily wait a few more dates for a FWB to have sex if she was especially hot. However if she doesn’t have sex after d2 then she’s out of the question as an LTR partner, that’s not negotiable. I’m extremely LTR-minded, or at least, I would be if women didn’t constantly take the piss and mess guys in LTRs around
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:29 PM
5

Men don’t have the choice of having casual sex with women far more attractive than the top end of women they can get LTRs with. Women do. When people say ‘she settled for him’ they mean ‘he was not the best she’s ever had/in that top bracket’
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:26 PM
2

Lol you sure about this? There’s research women are happiest when significantly shorter than their man
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:22 PM
4

Lol if you were a foot shorter you wouldn’t have a prayer of getting hookups at all from dating apps (with anyone worth having sex with) if you were perfectly-groomed, had a great personality, and were in incredible shape
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 07:21 PM
1

If what you say is true and Johnny gets his gf Janice IRL, she has had sex with guys way hotter than him from online. She will not have as good an experience, and will generally be dissatisfied and miss the hotter guys. The chickens will come home to roost eventually, and either Johnny will realise what’s going on and get (pretty rational) sexual jealousy and feelings of worthlessness, or she will be resentful and start seriously mistreating him. I’ve seen this happen so many times it’s not even…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 01:31 AM
–

The experience of the top 20% of men is not as good as you think it is. I know several top 20, even 5% or 1% men, who get messed around by women and switched out like objects when the women in question get bored. Most of the women they have casual sex with are 2-3 points below them in hotness (you have no idea how quickly this gets old), and he’s expected to put in way more effort in bed. Sure, their body count inflates, but the women don’t actually care about them and an LTR where she doesn’t t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/21 01:26 AM
2

Sometimes people get fulfilment out of their careers that isn’t just about the paycheque or impressing women
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 02:17 AM
1

Take it as someone who has ‘looksmaxxed’ extensively: Generally speaking leanness+muscularity is necessarily but not sufficient for most men to be considered ‘hot’. They also need a fuckton of cosmetic facial procedures that cost a lot of money. If you’re going for bimax or extensive eye area surgery plus other things like filler and cosmetic dentistry, you’re talking 50k + USD total easy. That’s not even mentioning things like hair transplants/medication (dutasteride costs me a pretty penny), a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 02:14 AM
–

Women tend to ‘top from the bottom’ if you’re talking submissiveness in relationships, so the distinction is less clear than you may have originally thought But yes women get accused of being ‘bossy’ and ‘a headache’ all the time when they stand up for themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 02:09 AM
3

Men should stop having (mostly dissatisfying) casual sex with women 2-3 points below him, ruining them for LTRs with men closer to their level. This won’t happen, so we’re all done for
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 02:08 AM
–

Maybe these people already have enough friendships but want sex and romantic affection. Which is fine
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 02:02 AM
–

Attempting to find willing partner for sex and affection = ‘suspicious’ ok
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 01:58 AM
–

As a guy I’ve never seen any guy be ‘helped to date’ by his social circle. Rather, I’ve often seen the other guys in his social circle try to sabotage his efforts to date, or if he gets a girlfriend, they’ll hit on her and bad mouth him in a plausibly deniable way
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 01:55 AM
3

About right. Thank god I’m white, not short, earn enough money to afford surgeries, and have a good facial base. If I didn’t have those, I’d have no chance
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 02:23 PM
1

The only situation I’d prefer over being single/occasional hookup is to be in an LTR with a woman I’m super into that is an endless honeymoon period where she doesn’t end up eventually taking the piss. There’s basically no chance of this happening, so I guess I’m content to be single
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/21 12:21 AM
1

If you value your mental health in an LTR, it’s your responsibility to make sure you’re her best before you let yourself get in super deep emotionally. Being her best is important for two reasons: (1) it’s representative of how sexually attractive she finds him. If man X is more sexually attractive to her than you, unless she’s drastically changed physically, then she will continue to get offers from men like man X when she’s with you. You’re likely to be cheated on, or dumped, in this scenario …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 11:33 PM
1

Yeah fuck that, casual sex with a woman 2-3 points below me is a waste of an evening, I don’t enjoy it and feel zero enthusiasm for her or desire for her to have a good experience. It feels like work.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 11:27 PM
5

Despite all the data showing that somewhere in the 5.5” region is the bone-pressed average erect length (so ‘usable’ i.e. NBP erect length is way smaller, especially given many men are overweight), the girls I’ve been with don’t bat an eyelid at my size. After plenty of extender, pump, and viagra use, and being very lean, I’m in the top 0.1% of penile volume if you go by calcSD’s global average and the top 2.5% if you go by calcSD’s Western average, but not once have I received an umprompted pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/21 11:26 PM
2

Yes but basically most people choose to see politics in terms of ‘what serves my interest group’, which is why women’s political views tend to conveniently ignore the massive relative privilege they have in heterosexual relationships, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 11:13 PM
1

Well yes, this is the real issue for those guys: lack of throughput
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 11:07 PM
1

Yes and for sure there are women out there who take more than three dates to be comfortable enough to have sex with any man. However, it’s sad, but excluding these women from my dating pool is a necessary cost to preserve my mental health, I’d always be wondering ‘what if she’s lying and actually did sleep with a guy super early’
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/21 08:51 AM
7

It makes little sense to talk about ‘gatekeepers’ I think. The person who is dating down has more leverage in both casual sex and LTR contexts, man or woman regardless. The accusation of ‘being bad in bed’ if a woman leaves you after having sex a few times is an interesting one as it implies either that ‘being good in bed’ (i.e. a woman enjoying sex) is an uncommon experience for attractive women, or that ‘being good in bed’ means ‘being her lifetime best (or near) sexual partner’ which is an un…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 06:42 PM
1

The ‘movement/voice/MHC’ stuff applies on dates from online too - if you look way better in photos than in motion you’ll be filtered out heavily during first dates. Have you actually been to bars btw, the ‘IRL is more flattering’ dynamic is clearly not the case. Idk where you live but here in London women go to bars to hang out with friends, not to talk to strangers, and cold approach is not well-taken; in more ‘clubbish’ bars (pre-COVID) where approaches were more accepted, all you saw was hot …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 06:32 PM
1

Bars are onlineish in terms of character (i.e. heavily-skewed looks selection) - the ‘IRL advantage’ you spoke of only applies to social circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 06:06 PM
1

You may only meet a handful (at most) of women you’re attracted to through a social circle in a year. That’s not counting mutual attraction, whether they have a boyfriend already, etc. Even if you swim in multiple social circles (which is a massive social effort, most people have one, two tops) the throughput is so low that you can’t just leave your gf if she takes the piss and immediately jump to another option of similar attractiveness. Compare that to being a top 10% guy online - if you LTR a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 05:48 PM
2

Some women may need to be very comfortable around a man to have sex with him, and for her this may take a long time… This still doesn’t change the fact that the third date rule (honestly it’s really the second date rule) is a good rule for preserving your mental health in a future LTR
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:36 PM
2

Precisely! Also IME girls who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted on dates don’t change their behaviour in terms of how long they take to have sex with me (ofc I’m not blaming them - just an observation)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:33 PM
4

I will actively reject a girl as a relationship prospect who makes me wait past the third date. I don’t care how hot she is, my mental health in an LTR based on a lack of insecurity about whether she finds me attractive is more important
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:31 PM
16

A fellow Londoner who says things that resonate with my own personal experience! I find that with the upper end of the girls I can sleep with, they have a very take-or-leave attitude about men in general, that sadly manifests in a lack of wide-eyed enthusiasm about me even if they will have sex (more than once). The next hot guy is just around the corner and they can get him into bed with no effort, and this won’t change for the foreseeable future, so why stick around and LTR me? It doesn’t seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:28 PM
2

There are definitely guys leading on women just to get laid but it’s important to make a clear distinction between this behaviour, and dating a girl and changing your mind about her once you have sex (perhaps you’re not sexually compatible; perhaps for whatever reason her physique was disappointing; etc). The latter is pretty reasonable I think
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:20 PM
1

Correct, but the ROI and throughput is so bad for guys with the ‘social circle method’. Imagine taking months of dedicated work to get a sweet GF from a hobby group and you have no way of cultivating backups (essential to your mental health in an LTR as a man). Is building general looks appeal and going online really worse than this?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 04:17 PM
1

Or perhaps don’t be monogamous, or get into a position where you can be monog but you can easily and quickly get someone of her calibre if she cheats? (The latter is my current position)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 01:48 AM
2

Because women typically casually date up vis-a-vis who they date for monogamous relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:36 PM
1

We should separate moral worth, sense of self-worth (dignity, pride, self-esteem), and worth as a dating partner. The former two have little or nothing to do witj the latter. However if you only have one life, doesn’t that motivate you more to go crazy on the self-improvement?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:05 AM
1

And what happens when the hot guy at her work starts hitting on her? You think that being her first (or second/third) will make you immune to being cheated on?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 03:00 AM
2

Nailed it! This also works another way: men should stop thinking the LTRs they get from social circle are equivalent to LTRs starting as casual relationships. The latter is much likelier to ensure you’re ‘her best’ (or in that top bracket, anyway). If no second date sex you can happily eliminate her from consideration for an LTR
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/21 02:59 AM
1

The problem is (1) obesity (2) the skew. If there were a choice between only having sex with obese women vs. being alone for the rest of my life, I would choose being alone in a millisecond. I once had sex with a girl who was slightly overweight and I actually felt a visceral disgust during the act. Ugly men can only attract the severely obese/deformed, barring enormous amounts of status, so it’s simply not an option for them to keep standards low. The skew itself is that women’s standards for p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:42 PM
2

OP absolutely articulating what I’ve been telling people for years. There’s a reason I’m still on dating apps and it’s not because I enjoy being treated like a disposable object
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:37 PM
1

Looks obviously. There are many problems in life that require complex multipronged solutions - dating isn’t one of them. Become better-looking and magically everything will improve.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:35 PM
2

The guy posted ‘bang guides’ for years promoting sexual assault (ignoring nos and hooking up with drunk girls) despite offering absolutely zero evidence he did well with women. Absolute scammer and dire human being
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/21 03:34 PM
–

IME if they are making you wait they are usually either (1) unsure about you being her best option but you’re still somewhat in the running (2) has psychological issues arounds sex (e.g. has a lot of inbuilt shame). Neither are things that you should be sticking around for. Men and women have it ass backwards, in my opinion. If a woman isn’t so powerfully attracted to you she isn’t fucking you on/by the second date, you can calmly eliminate her as a potential relationship option and never ever i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/21 10:52 AM
–

Being conventionally attractive has way way more benefits outside of dating. If I lived on an island of only straight guys I’d want to be as conventionally attractive as possible, the halo effect is real. One question: when you got hotter, did your standards for the men you would have sex with increase? If so, then there’s no expectation the behaviour of the men you had sex with would change.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 08:44 PM
–

Gotta say, I know a few top-tier ‘Chad’ men. They still get treated like shit, heartbroken, messed around, flaked on, dumped, told that they ‘just don’t give her the spark anymore’, etc. The difference between them and average guys is that good-looking women do that stuff to them rather than conventionally unattractive women
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 05:59 PM
1

One point in favour of this view is the attractiveness of each ethnicity. Notice how south asian women (and to a lesser extent, women from other minority ethnic groups) on dating apps flock to white guys, irrespective of his facial features. The whiteness itself is a big advantage, and isn’t this due to a cultural Eurocentric beauty standard? Moreover we see this elsewhere too, I started to see a notable uptick in AMWF couples during the K-Pop craze in the mid-2010s. Is this because east asian m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/21 12:59 PM
1

Imagine thinking my lack of delusion about being able to ‘get any girl’ is evidence of trauma. Feeling content in one’s skin involves accepting that certain girls do not fancy you and that you are no less of a person than if they did fancy you.
/r/seduction18/06/21 10:47 PM
1

“You’re already enough” stares at multiple texts from hot girls flaking/rejecting/postponing dates “Oh maybe not yet”
/r/seduction17/06/21 11:32 PM
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