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helloooo-newman Archive

View 1 post and 26 comments by helloooo-newman on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
26

helloooo-newman/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:15 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Ha ha. Algorithms are scary good at learning who we are. Good luck brother.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 02:51 PM
2

It’s healthy to set boundaries so you might want to have a frank conversation about your boundaries with her. Choose a time when you’re both on a positive note (not during or in the aftermath of a conflict)
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:22 PM
1

Sorry you’re going through this. It can be hard to find the community on here that will support you in the right way. It’s especially important to address problems that are interfering with your work and daily life. I have had more success with individual counseling and less time on Reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:05 PM
7

There are different types of friendships and relationships. Find the one that works for you. It’s in both your interests to be cordial, friendly, polite and don’t escalate conflicts.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:02 PM
1

I was too afraid to leave 10 years ago when I should have — young kids. Now I’m 54. If I wait til the last is in college then I’ll be 60. Same as you. Trying to decide if I can get out now. Wife and I are in MC and we get along great but no sex for 13 years and counting.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:43 PM
1

Couching this as “tolerating disrespect “ is already stacking the deck. I would respond if this was about “why stay when your needs are not being met and communication and counseling are not working” If this is for a term paper, I hope OP is reading Exit, Voice, and Loyalty by Albert Hirschmann.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:42 PM
1

Except for the early cheating this really hit home for me. Thanks for running it down. man, I am so sorry you went through all this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:33 PM
1

Congrats on the confidence boost. Just try to be clear to these potential dates what your status and expectations are. Don’t lead them on or hide your intentions. I hope you find what you need and are looking for, even if it’s just confidence!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 08:10 PM
2

Dang. I hope you’re an outlier. What steps can I take to make sure my case doesn’t get this expensive?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:02 PM
1

Thank you. Appreciate this encouragement
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:49 PM
1

I made a decision that her mental health was more important than our sex life. In retrospect it was more of a sacrifice than I bargained for. I should say that it’s not like the meds destroyed sex on their own. Many other factors at play
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:48 PM
2

Legal fees into six figures?? Can you say more?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:40 PM
2

Im in IC and starting MC next week. Also Reddit Strangers counseling, which surprisingly is quite informative and fun way to talk about this topic!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:40 PM
2

Thanks for the laugh and the truth nugget!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:38 PM
6

I’m thinking of posting this in other forums to get different opinions. Hard to imagine where the people are that would have me stay. Is there a r/terrifiedofdivorce forum? I just had a soul-crushing moment imagining sitting my kids down and explaining this shit to them. “Kids, mom hasn’t sucked my dick since the Bush Administration so I have to move out. You’ll be seeing me on weekends.”
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:37 PM
2

Lol. I don’t think I’ll make this decision based on cost but I really wish my wife (SAHM) would find a man with a good income as soon as possible. That would be the best outcome. I have no problem supporting her financially as long as it takes and having her take the house and half our assets. We are comfortable enough financially that we’d make do. Standard of living would decline a bit but I’d survive. Not sure how she’d do. Besides therapy, lawyers, and two households, what are the major cost…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:32 PM
1

It occurred to me that if my wife met another man (preferably with a good income) and fell in love and he treated her well I’d be ecstatic. Honestly, if I walked into our bedroom and found her going at it with a strange man I don’t think I’d care. That literally just occurred to me and it’s my aha moment.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:27 PM
2

Sounds like an argument in favor of MC if for no other reason than to help my wife accept this. I’m sorry for you having to be on the receiving end of a marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:25 PM
2

That’s what I thought but then I’ve gotten other perspectives including my own therapist who says it could help me/us sort through the confusion even if it’s to get to an amicable divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:18 PM
2

I wouldn’t rule out OM but that only works in a strong marriage and even then rarely acceptable to both parties. We’ll see after MC
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:16 PM
1

I didn’t put up a poll but Upvote for being straight to the point — lol!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:12 PM
6

Well objectively she’s pretty. She was taking meds that made her gain a lot of weight but then she switched to meds that made her lose all that weight. It’s possible I could be attracted to her again if I can get past the resentment. Do I love her. Many days I think no. Or I think yes but mainly the way you love your platoon in war. You’ve been through so much shit together that you bond.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:49 AM
7

This is the way. We are setting up MC now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:35 AM
3

Well I wrote the rest of it for a reason. It’s so hard when you’re good parents, good household managers, good roommates, even friends. We could in theory sort out the resentments and even have some kind of sex life again, but it just feels unlikely. Also, divorce is hard for me to wrap my head around. Nobody in my immediate family got divorced and nobody in extended family except when there was substance abuse. It feels like we failed. And after this much time we’re both very much part of each …
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:34 AM
5

For all the guys suggesting a sex worker, thanks for the idea but I should add that what I really crave is pleasing a woman and having her desire me. So the SW option doesn’t sound appealing at all, and not my style. My wife desires me for my ability to unclog drains (literally, like toilets and sinks) and do the dishes. She is turned on by my taking out the trash without being reminded. That’s about it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:21 AM
7

Wow. Thanks for taking the time to share that thoughtful analysis. Do you accept my health insurance? Lol Seriously, some real food for thought in there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:15 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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