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helpadudeout9 Archive

View 2 posts and 53 comments by helpadudeout9 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I personally don't understand why a man like me (mid 30s, decent amount of experience) would ever want to canoodle with a woman with little to no experience. Obviously different reasons for different dudes, but I'd speculate the top reasons are: -lack of experience themselves -conquest-type appeal of being first or one of the first -power, control, manipulation abilities -lack of confidence in their sexual abilities, size, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 06:50 PM
3

I personally don't understand why a man like me (mid 30s, decent amount of experience) would ever want to canoodle with a woman with little to no experience. Obviously different reasons for different dudes, but I'd speculate the top reasons are: -lack of experience themselves -conquest-type appeal of being first or one of the first -power, control, manipulation abilities -lack of confidence in their sexual abilities, size, etc
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 06:50 PM
1

Interestingly, women NEVER ask me about my profession. Part of me is happy with this, as I don't want my entire identity and perceived value to come from my profession / income/ financial stability. The other part of me wonders why they don't ask, because most of us spend a good chunk of our lives working and it makes a big impact on your life (ie what hours you work, vacation time, income, locations to live, travel, etc). I'm also pretty successful professionally and am proud of my accomplishme…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 04:47 PM
6

Ehhh... I think there's a big difference between abusive, intentional manipulation (that is harmful, traumatic, and unethical) and subconscious manipulation (that we ALL do).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 09:35 PM
2

This is not the way ANY men in my life live - not even close. I'm sure this happens, don't get me wrong, but I doubt it's the "normal" that you imply it is. This is anecdotal of course, but my circle is large.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 08:44 PM
8

Yes, I (36M) have stopped "bothering with dating". From reading some of the comments, I share a lot in common with these men, but I think I may be less "resentful" or angry about it. I could be reading ya'll wrong, but that's the vibe I get from a lot of comments. So I'm 36, divorced w/ no kids. 5'11" 215, dad bod. Shaved bald with a beard most of the time. If we're grading on a traditional bell curve, I'm probably a 5-6 if only physical attributes are factored in. I make an effort to present my…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 06:55 PM
–

Lol thanks but I actually didn't even mention character. It was more intended to tell women - "if you want wealthy men, pay attention to what wealthy men do and how they behave, don't be distracted by shiny things"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 03:23 AM
1

I can see that perspective. It certainly wasn't intended to be condescending. I agree, I think most women "know" this, but I believe most don't apply this knowledge instinctually or at all. I responded to another comment the same.... Men do this too, but more often when it comes to cosmetic surgery, revealing clothing, and/or makeup. We KNOW it's manipulation of our lizard brains, but we often don't apply logic to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 09:48 PM
2

Yes, and I couldn't agree more. Being "smart" and/or "wise" often requires us to overcome the stone age hardware. IMO, it's the same thing men have to do when we see women with cosmetic surgery, makeup, etc. The lizard brain tells us we are attracted to this, but if you can think logically you probably come up with a different conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:50 PM
1

This is exactly what I'm talking about. I understand WHY (the lizard brain you mentioned) but am frustrated that it's counterintuitive. Wise women see this, unwise women don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:32 PM
0

This is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. If she was wise, she'd realize you would be LESS (not more) financially stable if you purchased an expensive car.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:30 PM
0

I don't think I said that "women never think beyond that". However, if these things didn't work to attract women (nice cars, clothes, jewelry, etc) then men wouldn't do it. Do you really think women are seeking the opposite? Do you think women associate modesty in material possessions with financial stability?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 07:00 PM
2

Is there a problem with posting an opinion / advice and looking for reasonable dialogue from men and women? If not, why does this sub exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:54 PM
0

I guess I just respectfully disagree. I think first impressions are very impactful. A guy drives a modest vehicle... he must not have/make much money. A guy drives a new sports car... he must be rich. This is just surface level evaluation that is often wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:53 PM
2

I think this can be evaluated in younger men by seeing what goals they have and how they spend the little money they have. Are they saving for a wise purchase/investment or are they blowing it as soon as they make it? Is their goal to drive a nice car, or to have financial freedom?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:47 PM
1

Not trying to change it, trying to offer reasonable advice to women with a reasonable evolutionary desire to be with someone financially secure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:45 PM
-1

My basis is admittedly anecdotal. Things like " wow he must make a lot of money, he drives a brand new truck".
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:44 PM
1

I would encourage evaluation of how money is spent, as well as goals. If goals are materialistic (I want this car) then that should be viewed as a red flag,
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:43 PM
2

Women should have equal opportunities? Of course. But perhaps not EXTRA opportunities or mandates? Women should be allowed to vote? Of course, the contrary is extreme. Women should be allowed to enter the workforce? Of course, the contrary is extreme. Violence against women is wrong? Of course, the contrary is extreme. Women should be allowed to pursue higher education? Of course, the contrary is extreme. ​ I consider myself a "traditional" feminist, but not a "modern feminist". I think we shoul…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 08:59 PM
19

Others said it, but I'll say it again. You're watching the cherry picked clips that illicit a response (anger, frustration, rage) that represents a small percentage of the population. I bet if they kept statistics and showed you all the answers they receive, there are MOSTLY responses that are reasonable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 08:37 PM
11

This is a weird take. It's certainly not true in my life. For one, I come from a family of huggers, and hug my male family members and friends often. Secondly, most of the time I hug my female friends (or spouses of my friends), it's initiated by them. I don't think they want to fuck me. I don't want to fuck them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 10:49 PM
1

For the kind of woman I'm seeking, you are right. I'm frugal, but not cheap and I enjoy spending money on experiences. I'm happy to pay for a food & drinks (expensive or in excess), concerts, sporting events, etc. But she's gotta be ok getting there in a modest vehicle haha
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:30 AM
8

I do think this is an interesting contradiction. Most people agree that women value financial stability, earning potential, wealth and financial status, correct? But sometimes signaling these actually puts you in a worse situation. For example: I am like you. Well over 6 figure job, own several houses, no debt, a healthy 401k, cash on hand, etc. I drive a very modest used family car that I bought for cash. It's not turning any heads by any means. I am perfectly capable of going to a dealership a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 04:17 AM
1

This is a well thought out post. If A is sex and B is masturbation and I was given a choice between the 2, obviously I'd choose A. However, given the effort it takes to AND the potential downsides of A, I often choose B. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze for physical pleasure only.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 10:39 PM
1

All that requires you do things you may not want to do and you lose at least some anonymity.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/23 11:25 PM
1

I'm thinking that for me it's a way to "logically" improve both of our experiences. I can establish a firm boundary as far as what the relationship will be about, we skip the date part that we may or may not really want to do and she makes some money instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:10 PM
1

Probably not - you're right. The directness, no matter how logical I can think it is, ruins everything I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:08 PM
1

Thanks... Admittedly I'm not sure I'd feel very good about it either. I've always been super turned off by anything "prostitutional" at all, I think maybe I was trying to rationalize it. I'm also worried about catching feelings, so I think it was a way for me to put a strict boundary on it. Just because it makes sense on paper doesn't mean it makes sense in real life #communism
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:07 PM
1

Assume they are for the sake of argument. In some of the examples I have in mind for this thought experiment, we have been intimate already, in others there has been various levels of sexual intent communicated. In some cases, they also are recently divorced/etc. Considered an area with a lower population where people of a 10 year range generally know of each other. edit: Adding this includes experiences where we went out, I spent the money I'm talking about, and we ended up having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 10:01 PM
1

Fantastic response, thank you. Maybe the NDA is wild and overkill. I was just kinda thinking it could serve as a very committed way of promising secrecy, and some what enforcing that if a person's trust is betrayed. Your perspective is well heard and considered. I'm a nerd with finances and admit I think about money very differently than most. It's probably not at all sexy from all angles, but has been otherwise successful. Anyway, I really don't want to offend or disrespect anyone and that seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:56 PM
1

I appreciate the feedback. when I reread this response just now I think I understand more what you meant. Would you say that plays into the ideal that women tend to be more emotionally driven than men? Follow-up question... let's get deep... does the appearance or act of providing matter more than that the actual ability to provide? Like, does the more I spend on food/drinks/tickets/appearances/clothes/transportation/etc impact a woman more on a subconscious level through her emotional response?…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:35 PM
1

Thanks for your feedback and advice. I also agree that it's unlikely to be agreed to, and think it's likely to be taken offensively. It's kinda weird to me with the money - I'm a financial nerd so I look at the amounts money (all-in) of going out on a date and it seems silly that it couldn't go directly to this woman who's already established some interest already, ya know?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:28 PM
1

I appreciate your feedback. If it's not too much to ask, I'd like to contextualize your answer - can you reply or DM me your general age / gender / relationship status? The women I have I had in mind are generally single mom's and/or single women in their 30s or early 40s with who live alone. I would imagine that at least some of them are not looking for a cohabitation situation soon if ever. In some cases, we've only gone on dates and in other cases we've hooked up, in other cases we dated. I g…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:22 PM
1

I suspect you're 100% right that this would be how it's taken, regardless of how it's presented. And definitely not something I'm talking about with women that I see any romantic future with.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:13 PM
1

Reply Somewhat, yes. But since these women have already expressed interest/attraction in me, I'd like to offer to REPLACE the expensive night out WITH an intimate night in. I'd end up the same way financially and have a much better time , and she'd end up with a decent amount of cash for doing something she's not unlikely to be interested in anyway. I hope it's obvious that nothing physical would be required and anyone could stop or say no at any point. There would be some sort of reasonable exp…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:11 PM
1

I appreciate your input, and agree that money is always going to change the dynamic. Maybe I'm wondering if I can "cross that line" if the women has already expressed interest/attraction before that blunt conversation about money happened?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:05 PM
1

Did you read the whole post? I'm very clear in my intentions of this being a mutually beneficial and enjoyable experience for both parties. It's a thought experiment. I'd love your thoughts but from your comment I'm not sure you digested what I had to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:04 PM
1

To be clear, I think you're right in the sense that it's most likely how most women would hear this. However, in the specific examples of women in my life who I have in mind, they've already expressed interest/attraction in me and in some cases we've even been intimate already. To hammer it home, this is a key factor for me. The entire reason I personally can't do the traditional sex worker route is because I cannot suspend my disbelief of mutual attraction/interest to enjoy that experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 09:02 PM
1

As someone who's unfamiliar, I need to clarify if there really no difference between what I'm describing and "sugaring"? I may just be naive and my understanding of that arrangement be outdated or inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:59 PM
1

I'm not aware of the going rates for escorts and cam girls, honestly because that's not my jam. You may be completely right, but I'd like to make some points in the differences between sex workers and the agreement I'm throwing out there as a thought experiment. These women have already expressed interest in my in a traditional way (one of the examples I've got in mind has already slept with me) Their privacy is protected. If you're worried about reputation and stuff, those other options are les…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:57 PM
1

Fair point and I think I agree. One of the women I have in mind that this would be mutually beneficial for is a single mother, who's ex is still in the picture. Her ex and I are not friends, but in a small town if you're similar ages you at least know of the other person. I have no interest in dating her in a traditional sense where there'd be a possibility of more, but I respect her, enjoy her company as a person, and am kinda attracted to her. I also know some extra cash would make a big diffe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:52 PM
1

Different service, different market. This wouldn't be a professional who has skills and experience in the market. I also mentioned a NDA which would protect privacy and reputation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:49 PM
1

I don't know what the going rate for sex work is, as it doesn't appeal to me. However, I disagree on your point. Where I live, let's use $300 as a number that would be adequate for a nice evening out all-in. $300 for a few hours would definitely make a difference for a woman. And keep in mind, in this scenario the women are already interested in spending this time with me on a date. Maybe this happens once, twice, + a month? Where I live, and the women I'm specifically thinking about, that would…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:48 PM
1

A lot of people seem to be rushing to judgment rather than engaging in what was supposed to be a thought experiment. I mentioned that there are a few specific women in my life currently that I think would benefit mutually from a situation like this. These women (1) have expressed interest in me (2) generally know me, value my reputation, and trust me (3) possibly aren't looking for a husband/LTR and (4) don't desire all the work it required on them for a nice night out. My question/suggestion/th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/23 08:45 PM
1

I think my post was misunderstood, but oh well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:08 PM
2

Really appreciate your response, lots of good points to think about.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 05:23 AM
3

thanks for your feedback!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:47 AM
1

nahhhh definitely not what i'm talking about
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:35 AM
1

100% agree here. To clarify, the specific women I'd consider this with have already sort of expressed some sort of interest already. I agree that being upfront with this would cause issues with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:33 AM
0

I don't know these women's financial situations completely, but I know a few hundred dollars could make a pretty big impact. Keep in mind these are women that I've already established a relationship with, even just as friends/acquaintances. There is a safety/security factor there because they know me and we our social circles overlap. The way I see it, and again i could be majorly wrong, is that we could remove this veiled agreement that is loosely agreed upon where it's okay for me to pay hundr…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 04:31 AM
1

I think for me this isn't appealing because I wouldn't be confident that they would be at all interested in me without the arrangement. I don't know if that makes sense or is rational, but that's kinda where I'm making a difference here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:58 AM
1

No, no, sorry I probably need to clarify. There are a couple specific examples I'm thinking of, and I know it'd have to be carefully communicated and even then risks going super poorly. These women that I'm specifically thinking of are women I've known for a while and did not meet on a dating site. We have established mutual respect for each other, and they'd almost guaranteed tell you I'm a good dude. In all cases, we've either gone on dates and/or expressed potential interest in each other. To…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:55 AM
1

Fair, I guess you're right. Is it any different if this person would consider dating you - in a more traditional sense - without the financial arrangement? For me, I need to know they're actually also attracted to me. It's the reason traditional services don't interest me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 03:40 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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