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View 2 posts and 74 comments by her_dog_is_odd on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
24

Dealing with the Ex / STBXher_dog_is_odd/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 05:36 AM
3

her_dog_is_odd/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 12:32 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

I did the same, also to NOLA! Went and saw a concert, walked around the Quarter. Ate what I wanted, slept in, lol. Good on you!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 05:56 PM
17

When the body wants to eliminate whats toxic to it, its surprising how quickly it works. Just gotta remind yourself whats toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/25 12:47 AM
2

I kinda looked at it like this…when you’re dating, you’re probably casting a wide net hoping that you’ll catch “the one.” Everything’s gotta match and fall in line bc you’ll be spending the rest of your life with that person. With friends, cast a wide net and see what happens. Will some be needle dicks? Yeah. Will some be tolerable? Sure. But unless you’re looking for a ride-or-die best friend, its good to have an open network of acquaintances and good friends, even if not everything aligns perf…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 12:22 PM
2

Definitely a tough one but for me it was a slow process. Mostly I tried to shift from “my kids’ friends dads” to making them actual friends by offering to have a drink some time. I also started trying to hang out with current and former coworkers outside of work too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 06:53 PM
5

Completely agree on the financial side. We bought the house with my money, then to keep the house, I had to pay more! And in the second case, I’m buying equity, which isn’t even tangible wealth… It certainly doesn’t incentivize reconciliation when they can cheat, lie and manipulate their way through a marriage and then still leave with half our retirement.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 03:43 PM
8

Dude that first smile, that first kiss, that first “pulled hammy” you get after the divorce feels so good doesn’t it? When my ex found out I had moved on (despite her initiating the divorce) her response was priceless, trying to brag about “how much fun she’s having”. I just looked at her and said “ok” and had a good laugh later. Glad you’ve finally taken out the trash, bro.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/25 11:33 PM
2

Engaged, married, and signed divorce papers, all same date Now its just another day
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 04:37 AM
1

She was the mom of one of my daughter’s friends, so we were able to spend a lot of time together. We got close, but it was too much for her. She had been divorced a few years more than I had been, and valued her independence. We shifted back to being friends, and now she’s one of my best friends.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 03:59 AM
6

This year I got into running. Its a great thing to do alone, keeps me in shape, and can be social if you want to find a group. Plus all the women are fit lol
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 02:56 AM
6

Lots of people will tell you to go to the gym, make hobbies, etc but it really just comes down to being comfortable being on your own (at least, for now). Being alone is a statement of fact. Loneliness is a state of mind. I found that I would [engage in hobby], then hang out with friends, and then as soon as I got home it was already [lonely]. When you’re used to constant togetherness, the act of being alone can be startling. For me, it was reading that helped. Just gotta find the thing that hel…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 02:47 AM
1

So, a couple of things. Time. It sucks, but, its true. But its not just sitting around waiting for “father time” to just do his thing. It takes active energy to get there, which is what takes time to achieve. Figure out the things that take your mind off of her, and also figure out ways to distract yourself if you do end up thinking of her. I hope your therapy is as good as mine was. My therapist reminded me that getting the answers to the questions I had (why? why not? what did I do wrong? how …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:13 AM
2

I would wager thats whats happening here. In 13 years of marriage, she never rolled up my sleeves, lol
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 12:27 PM
4

Echo this 100%. She said she wanted to be the bad guy. Bet husband #2 doesn’t know the whole story…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 04:51 AM
8

Don’t say anything beyond “Sorry for your loss.” Narcissists gonna narcissist. They don’t deserve anything more. My ex once got mad at me for wanting to go to my half-brother’s funeral. As if I needed any reason other than “because he’s family,” I still told her it was because my father lost a son, and I needed to be there for him. Be there for your kids, support them however they need / request. That’s your role here.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 06:56 PM
5

I guess it depends on what country you live in. I’m in the US, and have primary for enrollment in school, so I keep the kids’ ID’s (social security cards and passports). However, we have a stipulation in the decree about advance notification of international travel, so if I was informed by their mom that they were going to travel outside the US I am ordered to relinquish their passports within 10 days of notice.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 02:10 PM
13

Mostly because when you’re young and making $12/hr and have no individual wealth or assets you’re not thinking “when I’m making 6 figures, and have just bought a half million dollar home and new car comfortably with two young kids, my future wife might cheat on me and leave the family. I should protect myself!” Or maybe thats just me
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 12:35 PM
16

I paid for her Masters out of pocket. When she left, I didn’t get half of her degree!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 04:30 AM
2

Lol I like your thinking…just don’t get yourself in trouble by saying the wrong thing. But, that being said, Outlook has a way to create rules, yes: Outlook Support Creating the rule itself isn’t too hard, a quick google search found this how-to: Auto-reply Basically you create a template response email then set up a rule to auto-reply. In the second section of the how-to, step 6, just select “with specific words in the sender’s address”, type in “[email protected]”, then select “with s…
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 04:31 AM
6

100%! Why seeing her kids 50% of the time makes her happier, I’ll never know.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 10:41 PM
3

Just here to say that our situations are nearly identical. Cheating ex, new guy who wasn’t “the” guy. What I would add to u/oldschool818’s advice is to ask your kids in advance of the party how they get along with him. Not so that you can bring it up at the party (no need to make a scene) but so that you can be “keenly observant” of any behaviors brought up by the kids. Is he good with the kids? Does he mostly ignore them? Are their interactions negative? That kind of thing. Let them enjoy the p…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 05:04 PM
6

I kept the house but she took half the stuff, so I spent some money to refurnish and redecorate. Made it my own, and had the kids add their flair too! Feels like our house now, not hers.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 02:36 PM
3

Just wait til she brings her new husband and introduces him to the teachers. I’ve learned to jump in first. Do what everyone’s saying and work on yourself. Don’t give her any mental real estate.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 10:05 PM
5

I’ll pay 100k in child support and bought her out of the house with my retirement. Otherwise, I am happier, in better shape, and better off at my job. Money is just a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:15 AM
1

This. My ex gave away 50% of her time with the kids, and acted selfishly, all for what?
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 04:13 AM
2

A few things…first, the positive cycle created by working out isn’t meant to be self-sufficient. You still need to figure out what your motivations are for doing it, whether it be internal (self) or external (others). If you workout simply for the adrenaline / serotonin highs, then the motivation will fade just as the highs fade. But if you go to get healthier, or it helps as a distraction, or to feel more attractive, or look more attractive, then those motivations should help keep the positive …
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 01:02 PM
3

You loved who she was, not who she is. And that’s ok.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:43 AM
10

I’m gonna go gamblin’ with the guys next weekend and do whatever the f* I want for the Super Bowl. How can I ever live with myself!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 10:12 PM
6

Probably depends on your corporate job. Is it something that can become a consulting gig? Set up an LLC, AFTER the divorce is final (if not already), and then use your network to find work for small-ish companies that can’t afford to hire someone with your specialty in house.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 07:02 PM
7

Don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she still resides in your mental space. And while you’re at it, kick her out of your mental space.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:41 PM
2

Dang, the comments here are very divided. What you should take away from it all is that every case is different, every therapist is too. If you live in a big enough area, you should be able to find a few covered by insurance (yes, most insurances will cover mental health visits). Go to someone, and if you don’t feel a connection, go to someone else. Most of all, find someone you are comfortable talking to, so that you aren’t lying to yourself or the therapist because you are unwilling to open up…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 03:38 PM
7

There ARE hot MILFs in your area!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 12:37 AM
5

Lol after d-day I literally asked a friend who had been thru it before “so wait, I can just ‘do nothing’ tonight? That’s allowed?” The concept was so foreign, having previously had to always fill her emotional void.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 11:21 PM
6

Get that side hustle, but be smart. Make an LLC, and do some research to make sure she can’t touch that income (ie salary, “pay” your kids as employees, shift assets and tax liabilities for your home and car, etc). Don’t date em, fuck em. Or fuck em. One or the other. For me, kids come first, me/work comes second. With my schedule it leaves very little time for dating. Not many women will stick around when I’m free “a month from Tuesday.” I’m cool with that anyway. Reconnect with friends and you…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 07:08 PM
5

And yet its sad that you even have to say “you won”. That should be default.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 10:19 PM
6

My doc said he had 4 kids and gave me that look like he’d do the procedure on himself in the mirror if he could lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 01:56 AM
14

Not overkill. Do you want more kids? No. Do you want your current kids seeing you splitting time with (or giving more time to) other kids? No. People ask me “but what if you find someone that wants kids?” Well then, it wasn’t meant to be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 01:48 AM
27

1) posting in online forums is a form of therapy 2) therapy is for anyone, men or women, who are willing to speak, listen, receive feedback, and make change. I am better off financially, professionally, and romantically and am even a better parent after my divorce and therapy is one of the reasons I have been able to achieve that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 06:17 AM
3

“He’s gaslighting me” - i don’t actually know what this means, I just saw it on the internet!
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 12:08 AM
5

Brother, that’s where I was last year spring break, also using the work excuse for separate trips, and also before the kids knew. We also did a trip last summer, after she moved out. Then we did Disney over Christmas. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 04:09 AM
16

I’d have skipped the ruse that she was actually invested in the marriage counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 09:00 PM
2

Yup, divorce is contagious! /s
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:20 AM
3

When I found out what was going on, I told my sister and my Dad. When my ex found out, she complained that she would have to “win back their trust too.” Proof she wasn’t invested in our reconciliation, though. On the plus side, I’m much closer with them now. I told my boss about the divorce bc I knew I’d have to take random days off. I told my team working for me in case they noticed any behavioral shifts. We didn’t tell the kids much, they are too young to fully understand. It can get frustrati…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 10:49 AM
2

What others are saying about trauma and counseling is all true. However, building trust is more about discipline than complete isolation. How are you expected to earn trust if you aren’t given a chance? The expectations have to be reasonable, even if they are strictly enforced.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 04:02 PM
2

“Sack up” is a thing of the past.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:40 AM
5

I did this too. The kids deserve to get her something and they’re too young go shopping themselves, but old enough to know what to get.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 01:23 AM
1

Thank you! Very helpful clarifications.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 01:20 AM
1

We settled during the peak of the market bubble last year and I’m 100% a professional appraisal would have come out even higher. I spoke to my lawyer about it and agreed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 12:53 AM
4

My ex planned to tell me during a counseling session. Instead I found out reading her texts with her AP! It could always be worse, bro, but just know it WILL get better.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 04:38 AM
4

When people say “don’t let her file first!” this is usually what they are talking about.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 10:52 PM
6

I second this. We tried marriage counseling (with a woman). My now-ex didn’t like her. After the D, I got a new therapist, and he was excellent. He ended up leaving the practice and I was on my own again. So I reached back out to the marriage counselor, who took me on. And she’s excellent. As it were, my ex didn’t like her bc my ex was wrong in her justification for divorce, and the therapist saw thru it. Now she helps me find my zen and keeps me moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 10:48 PM
5

For me, it was a divorced male friend. I barely knew him but knew he was divorced with kids same age as mine. Since our experiences were relatable, it really helped. Now he’s one of my closest buddies.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:46 PM
1

At 4 he’s already got good perceptive thoughts. You never know what they do and don’t pick up on until you ask! Mine are a bit older but we recently had the discussion about whether to call me dad, daddy, pop, etc. and her mom, mommy, mother.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:46 PM
6

Appreciate the more light-hearted post…they don’t all need to be super serious. I actually feel myself saying “your mom” instead of “mom” to them. I also refer to her as “their mom” in social settings. To me, that extra layer of disconnect has naturally come about in an effort to establish boundaries. Its not about the kids, as much, they don’t seem to notice the subtlety of the change.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 02:59 PM
4

Transactional only. Makes sense. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:42 PM
5

Grey rock? New term for me
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 03:48 PM
4

Remind them that you’ll always be their Dad, they’ll always be your #1 priority, and that this new person must ALWAYS treat them with respect. Let them know that anyone she brings around them must treat them well and ANY behaviors otherwise they should tell you immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 07:33 PM
7

Mine guilted me about how she’s going to be alone (no family nearby) and working on Christmas, since I have the kids and we’re traveling. For Thanksgiving I didn’t wallow alone, I did a Friendsgiving, and it was a ton of fun. She wanted to “be the bad guy”, well, you reap what you sow.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 06:51 PM
5

Mine said she wanted to be the bad guy. Now she’s mad bc I treat her like the bad guy. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:33 PM
1

ELI5: a system set up by men to exploit men? I agree with you. The system is screwed. I also understand a necessity to allow women out of an abusive marriage or one with an adulterer, especially when at the time most women were home-makers. With no-fault divorces, women can shift the burden of proof, especially if they cannot afford counsel. This needs to be in place. But why would they develop the system in a way to take advantage of the very people writing the laws? I am a recent victim of a n…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 10:28 PM
6

I used to think “happy wife, happy life” but through the divorce it has definitely become “happy parents, happy kids” (even if that means separation or divorce). I was right there where you are. My ex was a SAHM but would get mad that I wouldn’t do things like take the kids to Dr appts. Like…I’m working to bring in the salary to let you stay at home, why would I then take a vacation day to do a mid-morning, regular check up appointment while you :::checks notes::: do nothing? I recognize that pa…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 07:24 PM
1

Just another fucking day!
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 02:22 PM
7

For me I set personal and professional boundaries. That meant first trying to understand what I wanted, then what I was willing to compromise on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 11:49 AM
3

Let it out. If they don’t learn from you that its ok for men to be vulnerable, then where will they learn it from?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 10:26 PM
1

I used Susan Edmonson, she has an office in Galveston and Seabrook. Throughout the process it seemed ok and I am ok with my result, though looking back I wish we pushed harder on some things…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 05:32 PM
5

I have the blessing (or curse?) of being both divorced and a child of divorce. My parents split when I was young. What I remember (now) most about my dad was how amicable he was with my mom and how he was always there for me, even though he struggled financially.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 11:41 PM
2

Sounds like you’ve done your research, that’s good. If you haven’t come across it yet, look into imputed income, as well. If she can work full time, but chooses not to, this could impact your obligations. I think this one is hard to get as well, but it is worth a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 11:14 PM
5

I’m sure you already are, but make sure you maximize your time with her, even if you don’t take her out. Shower her with love and attention, play games, read to her, etc. My kids’ school lets dads volunteer through WatchDOGS. That could be a fun, free way to see her, if you can get the time off from work. She’ll always remember that. Yes, experiences and material things are nice, but true love is not expressed with your wallet. That being said, if this “low” is as temporary as you anticipate, co…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 11:10 PM
3

I’m in TX and I don’t pay alimony. That was something we agreed to.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 10:58 PM
1

I recently hiked my first 14er also, Mt Democrat! Good on you! I also lost a lot of weight. What an ego boost to see people for the first time in a while and their response is “wow, you look great! What did you do?” Especially coming off a time during COVID when most people put on weight. Keep it up and great advice!
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 09:50 PM
2

June and July we split the months in half (1-15, 16-end) and kept 8am. August resumed 2255.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 05:14 AM
5

We do “2255”. Two days with me, two with the ex, 5 with me, 5 with the ex. Over a 14 day period it is still 7 with each of us (50/50), but never more than 5 away, and the weekends alternate. For some people when I explain it they get really confused, so another way to look at it is that the kids are always with me Monday and Tuesday, with their mom Wednesday and Thursday, and then we alternate 3 day weekends. We also use a family app to help manage the calendar and any requested switches. For us…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 10:07 PM
5

Ended up dating one of my kids’ friend’s mom. Oh, the girls wanna hang out? Sounds good ;)
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 03:55 AM
2

Depends on where you are in the process. If I remember correctly my TRO said no big purchases, which basically meant no new loans. Consult your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 08:10 PM
2

If that is all she has it is a shaky case, as anything can be taken out of context. If she plans on using this along with other evidence be prepared to defend against a lot more. Maybe line up some non-familial character witnesses.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/22 10:05 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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