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herp_a_merp Archive

View 3 posts and 59 comments by herp_a_merp on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Recap: 40+, separated in November (2 kids), preparing for divorce. Physical: gym 3x. Continuing with 5x5. Found a gym buddy, a young(er) padawan who never lifted in his life. It felt good sharing my passion for it and so far I didn't scare him off. :) Experimenting with the occasional morning gym time instead of evenings. Sleep is something I keep struggling with. Actually sleeping more than before (6+ hours now) but I do get tired / sleepy by mid-afternoon. Ordered vitamin D refill. Gained a co…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 12:49 PM
1

Recap: 40, 2 kids, moved out last month, currently divorcing. Physical: Gym x3. Finished bench deload cycle, back on track. No (major) injuries since August. Literally slept through one gym time slot. "Controlled bulk" running away a bit (17% bf). Time to reign it in. Divorce: Had an informative session with the lawyer. Helped me eliminate some expat divorce nightmare scenarios that I was concerned about. Got pointers about how to do the past expense analysis (which will be the basis for the chi…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/18 09:27 AM
1

this is likely a function of the age range your screening for; around age 30 a woman meeting your specs is a unicorn That or significantly damaged... Yeah, what I kind of noticed is that 38-42 is roughly the age range where women start to give up on kids. Once I start looking in my own city, I'll relax my criteria.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 05:00 PM
2

I thought I was much more prepared mentally / emotionally. I've been drilling myself for the possibility of divorce since 2015. It did still hit like a truck.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 04:56 PM
1

If you haven't already read Bang and Day Bang I did read them, but it's been a while. I started going through all the core books one more time. How are you doing on the non-approach stuff mentioned in Models, like dressing well, grooming, taking care of your body? I managed to establish a much higher standard than I had in my pre-MRP days. Spending more time and money on clothing than ever before and by now it did stick as a new habit. That's the good part. But. I did plateau with improving my l…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 04:52 PM
6

Recap: moved out last month, currently divorcing. Physical: religiously went to the gym 3x even while travelling. Had to pause some stuff due to back pain, but added a sprinkle of "boring but big" to my 5x5 round out things. I also consciously do a mini-bulk. Tried online dating: out of curiosity registered on a website at the place where I was travelling to. Despite potato quality pictures I got a couple of matches. Went on two dates, will follow up with a full weekend thing when I'm back in th…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 08:48 AM
1

Divorcing. Moving out: agency fucked up a bit and the apartment handover got delayed, but I already paid the deposit and should get the keys tomorrow. Feels great. Divorce / finances: still early in this process. Started going through expenses, assets etc. This will keep me busy for a while, probably block the divorce progress until early-mid January. Talked to some freshly divorced guys asking for advice. Appreciated their war stories. Made me realize that there is possibly a fork in the road f…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/17 05:54 PM
1

It's a very weird, and kind of insane system. The principle is that by default each member of the family needs to maintain their pre-divorce standard of living levels. (Assuming sufficient income.) Which means expenses. Per person. So now I have to go through our invoices, credit card records etc to see how much was spent on whom and what. Medical bills, vacations, car maintenance etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/17 04:21 PM
2

We rent. It doesn't make a difference here.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/17 04:14 PM
1

Recap: wife kept weaponizing sex, we're divorcing. Apartment hunt got extremely lucky here. After submitting only 2 applications and preparing the third one, I got accepted for probably the best option. This was the closest available one to the one we're currently renting, but it's still 10-20 minutes. I might be able to move in this week, actually. Expected this phase to take 2 months or more. Lawyer. I got some very very disconcerting warning about the local divorce law before meeting the lawy…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/17 12:34 PM
2

Announced the divorce to the kids last weekend. You can read about it more here: Update: "Wife addicted to weaponized sex" Wasn't prepared for the crushing feeling of guilt that my daughters tears would cause me. Pushed me into a very dark place, had to take days off. Everything is better now, I pulled my shit together. Daughter also seems to have recovered relatively well. I spent extra amount of time both with her and the (much older) boy to maintain continuity and not just disappear from one …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/17 06:17 PM
7

Appreciated. Thanks.
/r/askMRP27/11/17 07:38 AM
1

"Ok, you win...... you win this game of denial and you win me not giving a fuck" I cemented with walking away and literally not giving a fuck, so much so she asked me a question a few minutes later and I answered it with literally no abatement. none It was as if we didn't have that conversation a few minutes previously. Panic came right across her face, tears flowed and she quipped, "Please don't give up on us " See, my wife doesn't do this. I don't know why exactly, maybe because she knows abou…
/r/askMRP07/11/17 09:38 AM
1

Let's say hypothetically speaking that I can get my needs met elsewhere. If I accept that she can't stop playing these power games with me, and I truly run out fucks to give then what the hell am I doing in this marriage? Co-parenting? We can do that without living together. Then I'd rather use my precious time and energy to build my post divorce life.
/r/askMRP07/11/17 06:24 AM
1

Obviously your wife is weaponizing sex since thats their currency, but you overplay it significantly here as something wrong with her and not her expression of not being attracted to you Yeah, it's very possible that she's not attracted to me. It's definitely part of the reason. Maybe the sex I did see, was just her attempt to hold the family together. Or maybe the weaponizing sex is about her holding on to her one last weapon to feel some level of control and try to get me to do what she wants.…
/r/askMRP06/11/17 08:53 PM
1

I also noticed that she knows about your Red Pill conversion. Yeah, she found out about RP early on and knows all the lingo. She used it to 'upgrade' her shit tests ("My SMV is not high enough for you, huh?", "Haha, you failed this comfort test big time!") and to drive her self-victimization because she is now the the target of an evil online cult. In her mind she is fighting fire with fire and you are coming out like Rambo. Absolutely. She either thinks you don't have the balls or you are stayi…
/r/askMRP06/11/17 07:04 PM
1

I was really bad at this early on. I could barely hide my anger even after 3-4 rejections. I like to tell myself that I got better at this. But 10 rejections in a row in 3 weeks after so many years of weaponized sex do get to me. I'm sort of pissed at the repeating pattern of multiweek sexual denials at this point. (6 weeks was the longest I think).
/r/askMRP06/11/17 06:54 PM
1

Not sure how to handle this much better. What happened was that she went ice queen over sth, shut down the sex, I withdrew and got busy. These episodes lasted a few weeks. Sometimes only days. Were more common in the first year. I myself was very much a work in progress and I though this was just part of her adjusting to the changes. But when the episodes kept coming back even later, I changed from being NGAF / busy to DL 10. I expect future women to be easier to handle, since they won't be able…
/r/askMRP06/11/17 06:21 PM
2

I do think about this a lot. I'm not an MRP god. I could probably use 20 lbs more muscle. Used my injury as an excuse to not spend time in the gym (I'm trying to correct this). I work too fucking much. I have to if I want to keep my job and our standard of living, but I suspect she doesn't understand this. (She's a SAHM, never had to work in her life. We live fairly comfortably -- pre-divorce -- and can afford a cleaning service, trips abroad etc.) Like many, I did go Rambo early on. I did make …
/r/askMRP06/11/17 06:14 PM
1

From what you have said she seems to have zero interest in keeping the marriage alive. We're in one of our bad phases. We also have our good phases. Just not in a sustainable way. Unless you wife has a history of mental illnesses (don't laugh it's possible) then you know what to do. I don't think she's a threat to herself or the kids. I wouldn't be surprised if she could be diagnosed with something, but that something couldn't be treated in 3 weeks. Unless my understanding of how the human mind …
/r/askMRP06/11/17 05:45 PM
1

6", 168 lbs, bf 15% based on ultrasound a few weeks ago, but my home scale says 19%. I have an injury only do high rep stuff not the usual 5x5. Squat 145 @ 10 reps, Bench 140 @ 10 reps. Other women I won't post about because the wife (and other people I know IRL) know about MRP and I'm easily doxable. It's not worth it for me. I only have eyes for Mrs. herp_a_merp! (for the next 3 weeks)
/r/askMRP06/11/17 05:38 PM
1

Seriously, though, you sound so butthurt it's hard to imagine that passing "tests are effortless now." I'm fucking pissed, mostly at myself. I was going to end it after one year 'unless things improve' but there were just enough positive signs (or self delusion on my part) not to kill it then. The divorce would be mostly over by now. We did have good times in the past year, but the shitty times kept coming back. As I said, it's much like an addiction. And I have a suspicion that she reaches for …
/r/askMRP06/11/17 05:15 PM
6

Yeah this is clear.
/r/askMRP06/11/17 04:52 PM
3

Dread level 10 Last week I had my appointment with the attorney. Stayed more than 2 hours to get a better understanding of what to expect in a divorce esp. w.r.t. to money and what if my wife wants to fight. I'm an expat, had to learn about the local system. It's weird and brutal. Drafted an initial doc with the lawyer containing some obvious points (we divorce in this country, not moving the kids abroad etc) but the important stuff was that I wanted to have something to sign. Next day took the …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/10/17 05:54 PM
1

Weight: very slowly going down, just under 165 lbs. Workouts: finally going again on a regular basis after several months of crazy work schedule. From the looks of it, I'll need a couple of weeks to get back where I left off. Reading: re-read The Obstacle is the Way, finished the first Seneca book, very slowly making my way through Meditations. Shit tests: "the ultimate shit test" a.k.a. withholding sex is still happening. I'm on a 10+ rejection streak. Last time we had sex was 23 days ago. I ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/17 09:01 AM
1

My metabolism is fucked up. If I don't pay attention I gain 2 lbs per week. Lifting does make me even hungrier but when I see the body fat estimate on my scale it's clear that the gain is not all muscle.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/17 10:07 AM
1

It's been a couple of months. Work: status: redder than red. Doing late nights and weekends for the next couple of months. Still try to spend time with the kids as much as I can. Weight: stable at 165lbs, but keeping it from creeping up continues to be a challenge. Workouts / injury: Went down to 1 / week when work got crazy. But taking it back to 3 / week again. Had a consultation with a trainer on squat and deadlift forms and working around my injury. Also did a similar thing with the physical…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/17 08:23 AM
2

My wife did this. She added RP lingo to her shit tests to give them more bite. It was disorienting at first, but in the end, she's still just trying to find a button to push. If I let her... It's still just a shit test. You deal with it, never compromise your frame and carry on. Everything still works even if they read your playbook. Probably much harder this way, but the fact that it still works is kind of mind blowing.
/r/askMRP12/06/17 09:04 PM
3

I was in a situation similar to yours. She found my journal about 12 (?) months into my MRP journey. (She got into my work phone actually. I think it had like a 15 second delay before autolocking after I put it down, so she had to be very quick.) It triggered a cold war. She gave me the silent treatment etc. I ignored her and stayed the course. Proceeded with my plan, handled shit tests, kept working out etc. She later apologized for reading my private stuff. I tightened my opsec afterwards. I a…
/r/askMRP20/04/17 08:26 PM
5

Is it more challenging to date women who are aware of red pill strategies? Probably. I don't "date" but my wife found out about MRP. She educated herself on all of it: SMV, shit test, levels of dread, amused mastery, frame, everything. I think her RP knowledge is better than the PPD average. ;) The amazing part is that it all still works. Also she went from "this is a cult and you should seek therapy" to "well, there is a lot of truth to it".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/17 10:36 AM
1

Wow, that's an amazing link.
/r/askMRP07/04/17 12:17 PM
1

no one is that good of an actor You'd be surprised. It's called 'bait and switch' or the good ole 'wedding cake poisoning'.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/17 05:03 PM
2

The proper way to go about making changes in your relationship is to act like an adult and tell her outright what you want What planet do you live on? Have you been married with children for more than a decade? Dread is for dead bedrooms. Have you ever been to /r/deadbedrooms ? How many posts have you read there? Been through a divorce with kids before? Or maybe read /r/divorce ? Do you honestly believe that you can just tell your wife: "I want more sex, honey." And she'll say: "Ah, ok, then. Yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/17 03:18 PM
0

Red Pill core: most of what typical men socialized in the West believe about female attraction and dating is wrong and here is why. Women's stated and actual preferences differ. Our sexual behaviors are much closer to our ancient animal selves than society is ready to admit. Behind the comforting lies fed to young men, there are uncomfortable truths that are actually social taboos. Red Pill as implemented (TRP): I like pointing when women behave in shitty ways, shout AWALT!, "next!" and get high…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/17 02:01 PM
2

Bp points to a long term relationship where sex is had once a month and calls it sucessful, and rp people are pointing at the same relationship and calling it a failure. ^ This.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 06:29 PM
1

What makes someone believe in TRP? I was skeptical, I tried it and it worked for me. Made me a believer. (More MRP than TRP though.)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/17 06:17 PM
1

Would you judge if a man left a marriage because of lack of intimacy/sex? If a man is dating a woman and she reveals to him that after marriage and kids she'll cut the sex off and hearing this he dumps her on the spot, would you judge that man?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/17 08:02 AM
1

She said "I want a divorce." I stayed calm and told her ok, but she should sleep on it. Never heard it again. I think what's inside your head is what matters most, not what you say. I'd be 100% ok with starting the divorce process any given day. We don't talk about it, but I'm pretty sure she knows it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/17 07:58 AM
1

This, brought to you from the same guy that thinks a satisfactory sex life is sex as much as you want, when you want it, with as many women as you want. Well if you get as much as you want, it'll by definition be satisfactory. ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 07:06 PM
1

In 2015.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 05:32 PM
2

Since finding /r/marriedredpill I changed my physique, my look, my diet, my haircut, my hobbies and most of all my interactions with my wife (and people in general). Life events change you. The stuff you read, learn and internalize change you. And in general get into or out of addiction or depression, abusive relationships, find Jesus or an ideological movement, become parents etc. All those can have significant effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/17 03:45 PM
1

Started all kinds of time and goal tracking. It's going to take a while to shift habits, but I think there is huge potential.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 01:05 PM
5

There is a chance that this is a 'preemptive strike' on her part. She feels insecure in the relationship (probably after seeing you change). She feels that it's ending and she'd rather end it herself to hang on the the feeling of being in control. I saw sth similar from my wife a few months in.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/03/17 01:04 PM
1

Got sick last week, all kinds of progressed stalled for a good while. V day: in the morning I told the wife I'm taking her panties off tonight. Wink-wink. Picked up a box of chocolate on my way home. We had sex then we ate the chocolate in the dark. I think it was the right kind of naughty fun. Compared to last year's shitshow with hours of shit testing and no sex, this was night and day. Work: My current primary focus. Next couple of weeks will be critical. Probably will have to work longer hou…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/17 09:54 AM
1

Question 2: I'm not saying talk about fight club. But successful men of MRP, some of whose wives have found MRP or you have given them a book like First Kill All Marriage Counselors...or whose wives have otherwise changed their behaviors based on actually re-learning marriage dynamics from some source of information...do you think that some kind of learning process like this is ultimately beneficial in a marriage. I don't consider myself a 'successful man of MRP', more like a work in progress. (…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/17 07:30 PM
1

I strongly prefer a controlled exit to a chaotic implosion.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/17 07:02 PM
1

If I did, I wouldn't post about it here before the divorce. Wife found MRP before. So it would be immediate dread level 12.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/17 02:36 PM
1

Red I catch myself very close to running out of fucks to give. Every couple of days my shoulder demon tells me to get that divorce, because this is not going to work. I didn't even want to book the family vacation, because I don't think my marriage will last that long. I don't think my wife realizes how close I am to calling it. I'm still more affected by the quality and quantity of sex than I should be. Home improvement project stalled. Wardrobe improvements also stalled. But I know what I'm ge…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/02/17 01:06 PM
1

I think this is an attempt by her to wrest more control over the last thing she has control over...her pussy. I think my wife is in a very similar 'phase' or whatever. She desperately tries to control the frequency and throws in the "tactical starfish" a lot.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/17 07:28 AM
1

You don't discuss how you are doing with her shit test; or is she completely checked out now and not testing you at all? Pure shit tests haven't been a problem for a long while. Shitty comfort tests I may shut down too aggressively (I treat them as pure shit tests and react accordingly). But a lot has improved since the early days. Weaponized sex is her only remaining functional weapon and she's holding on to it hard. It's not even withholding it any more (or not always), rather making it as shi…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/17 09:44 AM
1

You are now watching the clock waiting for the time to run out for her, without you putting in any more effort. The clock was ticking all along, right after I found MRP. More than a year on this path. The clock didn't stop my self improvement, neither will the divorce. Before this I walked in circles for many many years in a dead bedroom. The deadline is in place to stop myself from doing that. I have maybe 4000 or so days left on this planet where I can stay reasonably fuckable. Already wasted …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/17 05:18 PM
1

afraid to be specific? NMMNG, MMSLP, WISNIFG, MAP, Rational Male + almost the full blog archive, Bang, Day Bang, SGM, The Natural, Models, Extreme Ownership, 48 Laws of Power, The Game, The Way of Men Unfinished: Book of Pook, BluePillProfessor's Book, The Ironwood Collection of Alpha Moves What is your percent body fat, height, weight, bench, squat, deadlift? BF: Between 12% and 16.5% depending on measurement method. 6", 158 lbs. Due to injury, I only do high reps and specific dumbbell stuff, n…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/17 12:08 PM
2

Good stuff! Thanks!
/r/askMRP27/01/17 03:27 PM
3

I have the calipers. 10% +/- depending on how I hold them...
/r/askMRP27/01/17 03:27 PM
1

First ever OYS. More than a year in. 40 yo, 2 teenage kids. Finished most of the sidebar. Currently reading the Book of Pook. Red I'm nearing a deadline I set up for myself to decide whether I want to to stay in the marriage or not. A few days left, it's going to be a very close call. I haven't hit my fitness goals yet, but I'm not sure I can do another year of this and not simply walk away (from the marriage) next time she gives me a shit attitude. Right now this relationship continues to add a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/17 12:40 PM
2

My woman found out about the red pill and it was really bad. She read through TRP and assumed that I've joined a woman hating cult. If you read through the angry comments by the crazy kids on TRP trying hard to outdo each other in the women-ain't-shit department you understand why. Even the "light" stuff like the Athol Kay book can be too much (describing your SO as an 'emotional vampire' for example). I had great success despite this, but even today, many of the things I do -- or don't do -- ar…
/r/askMRP10/03/16 11:57 AM
4

So she just farts next to you? How long have you been together?
/r/askMRP02/03/16 08:22 AM
7

I set myself a deadline. X months. If I can't turn myself into someone who she wants to fuck after that time, it's probably hopeless and I'm moving on. (Life is short.) This gave me true OI. I could initiate more after this and not care much about her rejections. Rejections simply were an indication that after X months we won't be together and I should keep working hard for myself. They were still frustrating at times but I turned that into energy to use at the gym and elsewhere.
/r/askMRP29/02/16 01:22 PM
1

I'm giving her some amount of comfort but nowhere near her real request, which is for me to revert to sad beta. I'm in a very similar situation to yours. Plateued after a few month of great success. Sex started to go down back again (after the best month of our married life). She says that she wants more comfort. It wouldn't be hard for me to turn it up again, but I'm afraid that it will send me back straight to Sexless Beta Land. Last time I listened to her for what I should do, I ended up with…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/16 12:16 PM
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