Honestly, you chose to reproduce with all of these women, somehow none of them were worth investing in and raising your children with but that says nothing about your judgement/actions and everything about them right? Let me guess... they were all crazy? (I'm just assuming the 12 children are with multiple women).
You are a bad ass Bitch. I always find it hard to keep that confidence once I find it. Keep your head up, shoulders back and eye on the prize. You got this girl.