~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 59 | I’ve been taking notes to learn how to trust myselfTrusting oneself is so key. About a year ago, the thought kept running through my mind, "I don't trust men." One day, my brain rephrased it to, "I don't trust myself (around men)." In other words, it has nothing to do with other people. Rather, it is about building trust with myself which is within my control / influence. It was a powerful realization because if I trust myself, I can always fall back on myself no matter what others may throw out me or abandon me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 09:27 PM |
| 187 | Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.She needs to get the f out. After I had my son, ex ILs were staying with us. This was my first week postpartum. Keep in mind, I had been in labor for 48+ hours when I finally had him. Think sleep deprivation plus all the physical impacts of childbirth. Ex ILs visited during these 48 hours so they knew I was exhausted. After we get home, ex storms into our room one evening and demands, "what's wrong with you?!" I was physically and emotionally exhausted and struggling with getting the nursing thi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 05:44 AM |
| 22 | How do you remove a guy from your life when you see him everyday?I use it primarily because I have to coparent with my ex, but it can be applied in so many scenarios. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 03:36 PM |
| 120 | How do you remove a guy from your life when you see him everyday?Google "grey rock". If you encounter him, keep your responses short and be boring on purpose so you can disengage over time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 02:05 PM |
| 33 | Hey look FDS, I made it, I made it! 🎶Steal away. I think it to myself daily as I make my morning tea and enjoy the peace of being divorced. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 05:41 AM |
| 95 | Hey look FDS, I made it, I made it! 🎶Congrats! The best part of waking up is freedom in your cup! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 02:48 AM |
| 22 | epiphany: men who neg strong womenYou might like Jean Shinoda Bolen's books. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 11:31 PM |
| 98 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!The one that got away = the one I can no longer potentially control or influence. It's about power, not love... If the ex got away, it is likely because she wanted to get away from an LVM. If he had wanted to then, he would have at the time. He didn't then, but he goes on a self-pity trip now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 04:03 PM |
| 37 | Don’t ever let a man make you think you need him for ANYTHING. Women everywhere are raising their standards and LVM are getting desperate. This one in particular is trying to use fear and coercion to find himself a lower income wifeMy exh cheated as well, with Hootresses. Not sure if he ever realized all they needed was just the tip, not him... But yeah, best thing to happen. I have so much peace and joy in my life without him trying to drain me and resent me at the same time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/01/22 04:34 AM |
| 117 | Don’t ever let a man make you think you need him for ANYTHING. Women everywhere are raising their standards and LVM are getting desperate. This one in particular is trying to use fear and coercion to find himself a lower income wifeI was pondering something related earlier today. I sometimes hear men say they need to be needed (by their GFs/wives). It has also been said that whoever cares less in a relationship has the upper hand. I suspect this kind of messaging is intended to create a power dynamic where a woman thinks she needs a BG/husband so she cares more and exerts more resources (and consequently has less power). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 10:53 PM |
| 6 | The Inverse Relationship Between Financial Maturity and Marriage DesirabilityFinancial Feminist podcast | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 06:23 AM |
| 17 | To all the women doing the hard work of healing: give yourselves creditSelf Selfhealer soundboard | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 12:15 AM |
| 166 | Men who are hot/cold and don’t expect you to bail when they go cold...?They're testing you to see if you will tolerate intermittent reinforcement to build up to a trauma bond. Walk away. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/01/22 01:44 AM |
| 47 | How do you like your eggs: A vetting strategyI'm allergic to eggs: it will be a good vetting exercise if a man can track the list of foods I have to avoid as a result of that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 12:25 AM |
| 21 | Vet Rigorously Not Just For Present You but Especially For Future YouGoing through this right now. I'm divorced with a teenager, and while they're tough topics, I am gaining peace of mind knowing my assets will eventually go to my son vs. being squandered by my ex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:51 AM |
| 29 | date men who think like thisHe could be virtue signaling, too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:38 AM |
| 6 | Tell the world you abuse women without telling the world you abuse women 🤫🤭His threat feels rather empty since he forgot the bit about dying alone with a bunch of cats. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 12:50 PM |
| 24 | Spotted this on my FB feed just now... good LORD y'all, is it nearly 2022 or is it 1952 🤡Yes, please keep up the lie that you can control another's behavior. Maybe ill send her my copy of the DSM-5 with a bookmark in the personality disorder section. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 10:42 PM |
| 30 | Have any of you ever known a man who initiated a split with his partner WITHOUT getting into a new relationship right away?Agreed. It could happen, but it is rare. Anybody can spout off the right soundbites and muster up some false humility to make it seem like they experienced some personal growth. (I'm sure my ex did -- he's the cheater / addict but got remarried 16 months after the divorce was final. Meanwhile, I'm happily single and exploring the uncomfortable issues that are part of personal growth). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 07:09 PM |
| 67 | Love hearing about women leaving when they had enough! Saying no to couples counseling because she recognizes that there's nothing else she can possibly cOmMunIcaTe to himYup. She is already a single mom who's ready to make it official and dump the deadweight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 05:40 AM |
| 90 | How narcissistic men view marriage. Spoiler: It is to gain credibility from other men, so they can maintain status in the male 'dominance hierarchy'True! In hindsight, I realized my ex married me to look more legitimate to his peers and chain of command at work (my dad is a retired officer whose name he would drop back then to puff himself up). 16 months after our divorce was final, he monkey-branched and married a cop. If she knew what I knew, I doubt she would have married him. He goes to great lengths to make sure I never meet her -- gee, wonder why? 🤔 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/12/21 03:34 PM |
| 1 | He’s perfect but needs the government to give him a wife 💀My ovaries wilted while reading this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/21 11:15 PM |
| 9 | Every LVM's apology ever, to a t. Bonus points: doesn't include an actual apology :)Monkeys gonna monkey-branch.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 11:13 PM |
| 27 | A woman’s worth is non-negotiable — your actions need to reflect that.I enjoyed it. I have been working on enmeshment / intergenerational trauma issues for several months before I encountered her book. It was a good complement to what I've been working on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 10:01 PM |
| 159 | A woman’s worth is non-negotiable — your actions need to reflect that.The patriarchy's worst fear is a woman in touch with her own desires. - Valerie Rein, "Patriarchy Stress Disorder" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/21 07:52 PM |
| 5 | Self-Care, decoupled from consumerism, as a strategy: discussionSelf care/love means being willing to be the only one who loves, hears, and sees yourself. If you're single, you have your own back. If you're in a relationship, you have your own back AND you can be involved from a position of autonomy. Self care can mean external indulgences and treats but those are secondary to loving yourself on the inside. The patriarchy's worst fear is a woman who knows her own desires. How do you know your own desires? By connecting with and loving yourself as you are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/21 11:19 PM |
| 5 | This is why you don’t tell men you enjoy cooking 🤦♀️Thanks! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/21 01:04 PM |
| 310 | This is why you don’t tell men you enjoy cooking 🤦♀️Bowl digger | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/10/21 02:39 AM |
| 28 | Advice on how to deal with a LVM Misogynistic who is highly involved in my love life?I'm divorced in my 40s, and my dad will occasionally ask how's my social (read "dating) life and remind me that I'm not getting any younger. I remind him that desperation is not a healthy dating or husband-finding strategy and to see Exhibit A (i.e. my first marriage). I've been working on freeing myself of his mindset that a woman only has value if another man cares to marry her. I doubt he'll ever change his outlook but it doesn't mean I have to adopt it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:58 AM |
| 7 | IDENTIFY THE RED FLAGSHiding his left hand. 🤔 Is his wife a source of income?... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 05:56 PM |
| 94 | Yessssssss Queen!She only starts to have worth in his eyes if another male values her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 04:31 PM |
| 24 | The various ways financial abuse can look.Buying a muscle car and hiding it in storage. It is still in storage 6 years later because now-ex is too LV to fix it up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/07/21 10:42 PM |
| 16 | There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being high maintenance.Yup, if we are maintaining ourselves, that means we have self-worth which implies we have boundaries in place (which NVM/LVMs are allergic to). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/07/21 03:01 AM |
| 11 | Uncovering 30 years of repressed emotions and realising how I allowed so many people to treat me like dirt and it HURTS, so much greif I literally feel ill, how do you deal with this?Virtual hugs. I'm going through something similar at age 42. Your emotions are valid and will likely be stored in your body until you release them. I hope you can find a therapist who can help you through this. I would also recommend "How to do the work" (LePera) and reading up on polyvagal theory, somatic experiencing, etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/07/21 07:36 PM |
| 9 | Pistol Annies - Got My Name Changed BackThis was one of my divorce anthems. The "couple road whores" lyrics bore a resemblance to the truth as well. When I got the certified copy of my divorce decree, my first stops were the Social Security office and the DMV. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/06/21 04:22 PM |
| 7 | Men threaten us with "you'll be forever single" while our dating pool is THIS....no thanksThe only shred of good advice he gives is that we need to "back off" in his last sentence. No problem -- I can back all the way off to my peaceful single life. Go ahead, threaten me with a good time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/06/21 09:53 PM |
| 3 | Saw this on Pinterest and thought I should share it with you all ❤️She also has a podcast (SelfHealers SoundBoard) that parallels the book (one episode per chapter). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/05/21 03:01 PM |
| 59 | "I want to leave, but we have kids."Yup, I left Lord Clusterbeigh to tend to the manor by himself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 01:18 AM |
| 289 | "I want to leave, but we have kids."Can confirm. I thought I would stay longer in my marriage for my son's sake. It turns out he is happier not having to see his alcoholic dad passed out on the living room floor. We moved out of Eggshell Manor 3 years ago with no regrets. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 12:14 AM |
| 11 | “At the end of the day, we love each other” 🤡He is in a relationship with the bottle, not her. The sooner she accepts this, the better. I've been married to that in a previous life -- you can't change them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 08:41 PM |
| 1 | Why Pickmes hate FDSThat exact MLM! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 12:42 PM |
| 6 | Why Pickmes hate FDSYup, my ex MIL did MLM stuff for the last 30 years or so, and pranced around in suits and talked about her career. I doubt she made that much revenue per se but tax write-offs and the car probly offset that. And she is married to a LVM who "jokes" that he can handle a little leg pain because he knows how to handle pain because he has been married to her for so long. Charming -- good to know I will be missing out on that marital doom. I escaped that black hole and have maintained financial autono… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 12:26 PM |
| 25 | Why Pickmes hate FDSSo much my ex MIL, especially with resenting my freedom. I not only rejected her golden son, but I live my life according to my expectations vs. "what will the neighbors think?". She can't punish me but she does take it out on my son. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/04/21 04:48 AM |
| 26 | Mother of X, Daughter of Y, Girlfriend of ZBlessed be the fruit, and may the lord open. nods in Gilead | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 05:08 AM |
| 13 | We 👏 Don’t 👏 Chase 👏"I only cook for men I'm related to." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/21 07:12 PM |
| 2 | He sounds like, erm, the last 6,000 years of patriarchy and all of the mainstream, woman hating religions. Sure men have women’s best interests at heart, as evidenced by history!Aww, bless his paternalistic heart... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/21 09:19 PM |
| 16 | On today's episode: men collectively sharing one personalityCan we just call it OLM (online mating)? It would be more honest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/12/20 09:06 PM |
| 14 | NVM destroyed meSince you will still be in contact with him for a while, I recommend you Google "grey rock" if you haven't already. It helped me for several months before I could move out of the marital home (and I still rely on it because we coparent). My ex sensed he was losing control to get me to react to his antics but could not put his finger on it, and grey rock made me more discerning and observant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/11/20 01:07 PM |
| 7 | If this ain’t the truth 😂 Love this generation of women lovingly giving pickme’s a reality checkYup, they want that extra BAH pay. Who's the gold-digger again?... My ex is active duty. Alcoholic, unfaithful, financially abusive narc. Ugh. I am wary of dating military types (active or former). Not worth the mindf*ck. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/11/20 12:48 AM |
| 9 | There is no energy like that which comes from prioritizing yourselfAgreed. I am early 40s, divorced a year ago and I am enjoying things that I backburnered or was ignorant about during the 16 years of marriage. I am having lots of fun and me time doing manicures and paying more attention to a skincare routine. And there is no ex whining to put a damper on my self-care efforts because it costs money. The irony is he cheated on me with breastaurant waitresses -- I wonder if he realizes it takes time and money to keep up the breastaurant look (nails, hair, makeup,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/11/20 09:12 PM |
| 107 | It’s the truth!Eve consumed knowledge, whereas Adam choked on it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/11/20 01:52 AM |
| 65 | My friend has been using OLD recently and told me 10 men in a row have asked her for a PARK DATE. I AM GOING TO SCREAM!!!!This may require some planning on LVMs' parts if the ground is too cold to dig a shallow grave. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 04:00 AM |
| 36 | He even starts by saying he's adding backstory to make himself look better. I have no words.I hope she leaves. Can you imagine being in labor with his child? "Her water broke at 1 am, but I told her I would drive her to the hospital after I got some sleep." Or, "She has been in labor for 12 hours -- I haven't had any real food -- I hope she pushes the baby out soon so she can make me a hot meal." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/20 02:02 AM |
| 19 | Delete and Block 💅🏻With the plunger and Draino on standby... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/20 12:51 AM |
| 31 | Share your ridiculous OLD storiesSounds like he was looking for a wife-appliance to replace her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/11/20 07:35 PM |
| 13 | THEY JUST BANNED ABORTION IN POLAND 😳A modern day production of the Greek play, Lysistrata. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 09:25 PM |
| 51 | LVM: "If the world were ending, you'd come over right?" ME: Blocked him while he was typing."Lemme take advantage of this apocalypse to get laid one last time." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 03:07 PM |
| 42 | Don't make the mistake of believing that men only use women for sex.Wait, they have minds to lose?... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 01:25 PM |
| 2 | This makes me feel so sad...Yes. The JAG websites for most Army bases will have something about this: AR (army regulation) 608-99 (other branches of the military call it something different). If she (and any other military dependents/children) has moved out, he is supposed to support her with a bare minimum (there is a formula in the AR but usually ends up being the soldier's (nontaxable) BAH pay. This woman could move out and call the local JAG office (and maybe his CO). My ex filed for divorce in Spring 2018. I moved out… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 12:44 PM |
| 7 | Would you keep a guy on rotation whose been divorced? How many divorces before it’s too much?I am a year out from divorce finalization, and I am meh about dating, too. And should someone pursue me, he will be the lucky receiver of FDS vetting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 12:16 PM |
| 34 | Would you keep a guy on rotation whose been divorced? How many divorces before it’s too much?Yup. I had a 6 week fling after ex and I agreed to divorce and decided that was so draining so I put myself in a dating/sex quarantine for over another year. That didn't stop men, some married, from sliding into my DMs. They assume divorcing women are desperate for attention but can't be in a position to demand commitment so what could there be to lose. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/11/20 02:00 AM |
| 48 | A man "tried" making a birthday cake for his girlfriend. Pickmeishas in the notes going crazy over the "effort". 🙁"You decorate cakes better, babe. You can make your own birthday cakes from now on." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/20 11:11 PM |
| 13 | This makes me feel so sad...He is probly worried about having to send her his BAH pay if she moves out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/11/20 12:40 PM |
| 33 | Not sure if this belongs here, but I can't take a man with bad spelling and grammarGrammar, punctuation, spelling, etc. can be indicators of cognition. There is a time and place for shorthand and abbreviations, but those should be limited instances. When my son was in 2nd grade, his textbook defined a sentence as a complete thought. Extrapolating that out, if someone can't convey complete thoughts consistently (or is using run-on sentences/clauses excessively), I infer that the other's cognitive abilities are lacking (or they can't balance cognition and feeling in their mind i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/10/20 05:34 PM |
| 113 | So sad :( the future is not brightShow us where on the doll that FDS hurt you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/10/20 12:19 AM |
| 15 | Just a reminder! This will change your life.It isn't worth the loss of peace of mind. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 04:49 PM |
| 91 | Just a reminder! This will change your life.Yes, don't let them mess with your neurotransmitters. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/10/20 03:11 PM |
| 7 | “Womanly” activities are cooking, cleaning, caretaking & appearances 🤢"To put it simply, I absolutely love being an adult. I'm very in touch with my maturity. For me, that means I enjoy doing responsible activities (cooking, cleaning, reciprocating in relationships, emotional intelligence, appearances, paying my bills, wiping my own butt, etc) and I don't feel bad about liking those things because it makes me feel, well, mature. Which I like." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/10/20 05:00 AM |
| 8 | An Interesting Watch- The Psychology of OnlyFans UsersI don't think I would look down on it if there was a common understanding that was the deal. (For some context, my ex and I divorced because he chased at least a couple pick-me breastaurant waitresses. I told him he can't buy friends but he was in denial that's what was happening in that setting -- "they have great wings"). If someone wants to pay someone else for companionship, at least admit that is the transaction. The buyer gets deluded into thinking she likes him for him, and there is nothi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 07:44 PM |
| 36 | An Interesting Watch- The Psychology of OnlyFans UsersEmotional prostitution, the online version of your local breastaurant. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/10/20 02:50 PM |
| 42 | Don’t go on “boat dates” with guys you don’t know well or you could be put into a situation you don’t want to be in. 😬Maritime version of the field. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 11:37 PM |
| 53 | The Worst Advice I Have Ever Heard"The institution of marriage is worth more than my self-respect or me, and I will die proving it. Behold my participation trophy for my maryrdom." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/20 12:28 AM |
| 39 | I’m really curious...is “showing a bad financial situation” a thing on OLD in Canada? My male friend said “Maybe they’re trying to show you that they’re money smart” it’s not attractive to me at all and I don’t think I’ve seen this kind of profile from other countries..Exactly. He sounds like he will be stingy both financially and emotionally. My ex-husband claimed that everything I bought was expensive but dropped over $20k at the orange-butted breastaurant in a couple years, about $1600 to make a DUI go away (after drinking too much at said breastaurant), bought/souped up/hid a muscle car without telling me (I still figured it out). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/20 02:23 PM |
| 36 | Take noteI had a similar thought a few months after learning about my ex-husband's infidelity: " what if I just hold this marriage in the same level of regard as he does?" And with that question, the flip switched for me. Interestingly, he tried to re-engage me after that but I was able to see it all as manipulation. He couldn't get me to care again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/10/20 02:17 PM |
| 116 | The myth of the “honeymoon phase” 🙃Yup, cue the intermittent reinforcement. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 08:35 PM |
| 55 | I felt my brain cells vanish after reading this"You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 07:26 PM |
| 3 | His profile was literally an advertisement to rent him as a boyfriend. Do they really think we are so desperate that we would hire these cave trolls to pretend to date us?No mention of a walk in a field?! He's not the one for me... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/10/20 12:07 AM |
| 3 | When guys post shit like this on their feed I just laugh. I just find it so cringey😆 Am I the only one who notices this influx of men comparing themselves to animals?Not really, I guess. I was mirroring the original meme's verbiage. And that was before caffeine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 07:31 PM |
| 12 | He couldn't give me a single original thought.Agreed. Looking back on most of my relationships, the guys seemed to regard me as a placeholder or partner-appliance of sorts. They couldn't fathom that I might want more. They assumed I was complacent and wouldn't exert the energy to leave their orbit... All the more reason to be discerning and picky about HV behaviors. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 01:24 PM |
| 18 | When guys post shit like this on their feed I just laugh. I just find it so cringey😆 Am I the only one who notices this influx of men comparing themselves to animals?Don't put me in a position where I need to block you. I might never look at you again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 11:32 AM |
| 38 | And this, my wonderful Queens, is why we don’t do house dates.Consent 101: ask the woman directly, not an Internet forum. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 12:12 PM |
| 22 | The Chris Watts case: how our vetting can save livesYeah, I read through all the "pick me" books and was so frustrated because nothing was making sense until I ran across her blog/book. Cheaters work from the same playbook -- it is so eerie. I doubt my ex would have physically hurt me, but there are some similarities as far as deception, entitlement, golden-son-of-a-narc-mom, the dead stare, personality disorder, etc go. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 01:11 AM |
| 59 | The Chris Watts case: how our vetting can save livesI love Chump Lady! I found her blog and book about a year after discovering my ex's infidelity (divorce finalized about a year ago). And yes, there are multiple forms of abuse: infidelity, physical, emotional, mental, financial, spiritual. And it is on us to vet constantly. I watched the Netflix documentary, and there were so many warning signs in their history. It is unfortunate but women need to adopt a "guilty until proven innocent" stance when dating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/20 12:53 AM |
| 66 | He’s moved out and I’m moving on!!!The best part of waking up is freedom in your cup. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/20 06:12 PM |
| 7 | The Wall is So Threatening Because it Suggests a Sudden Shift from Beautiful to UglyJoin us in the swamp -- the water's just fine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/10/20 02:55 AM |
| 80 | Is marriage really worth it ? Are men even worth the trouble ?At this point, I am indifferent about remarriage. I was married '03-'19. Ex decided to chase pick-me oranged-butt waitresses in 2015. I have one child, but at 42, I don't want any more for both lifestyle and medical reasons. I don't see what there is to gain from it at this point. A lot of mid-life and older LVMs are looking for a "nurse with a purse" because they have treated their bodies like crap. No thanks -- I don't need another fulltime job. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 05:11 PM |
| 4 | The first time a guy chooses gaming over you, RUNI keep some notes in my planner from a book I read (I don't have the title noted, sorry), but the point was about mindfulness and hobbies. They can be pleasure-focused (passive, escapist) or mastery-oriented (active, hands-on, linked to one's values and general self-improvement). There is a time and place for both, but if all of one's hobbies are only pleasure-focused/passive, that suggests to me an individual is not well-rounded and expects the world to entertain him/her (and probably LV). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/20 04:24 AM |
| 40 | I laughed out loud. How ludicrous men can be!!"I knew you wouldn't like it" = "I am too much of a coward to deal with your reaction or backlash if I told you the truth." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 11:49 PM |
| 2 | I'm shallow because I don't want to teach a grown man how to wash his own clothes. Unmatch ✔️"BuT yOu'Re So mUcH BeTtEr aT LaUnDrY [insert undesirable household chore here] tHaN I Am." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 05:48 PM |
| 6 | Man freaks out over girlfriend’s period products, then apologizes and begs her not to leave him. She needs to throw the whole man awayGive him a dog poop bag to contain his "business" and make sure he carries it out of the apartment every time so it doesn't offend anyone from the bathroom trashcan. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/20 03:11 PM |
| 18 | Why ask a woman out if you can’t afford it? 🤡I may just start calling LVMs holediggers. They're just after our holes, right?... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 10:09 PM |
| 38 | Need help translatingTimewasters.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 09:53 PM |
| 3 | This is how I see it...The best revenge is a life well lived. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 09:48 PM |
| 12 | This is how I see it...Similar story. Married in '03, discovered cheating in 2016 -- I was the boiled frog, to another commenter's point. I realized that I could have survived in a loveless marriage but not a trustless marriage. Divorce was finalized about a year ago. He filed and then dragged it out a year by stalling on submitting his discovery paperwork. He was financially abusive before that though (bought a muscle car and hid it in storage without telling me but I still pieced it together). We went from 3 people … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 07:09 PM |
| 171 | Douche only allows girlfriend in his hospital room; not wife and kids.Betcha he expects the wife to be his nurse after he gets home, too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 06:27 PM |
| 4 | Oops....Not all heroines wear capes... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 04:47 PM |
| 9 | Stupid scrotes in life hacksRookie mistake | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 04:43 PM |
| 14 | Don't let it go to your head"BuT wHy DoN't yOu LoVe mY GoLdEn sOn LiKe I Do?" 🙄 Because raising your son leads like that to another lazy, entitled, narcisstic LVM in the population. There are plenty of those stories over on the r/JustNoMIL and r/JustNoSO subs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 04:32 PM |
| 82 | "Why didn't you hit me up?"Muh penis and muh bruh penis... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 11:38 AM |
| 157 | I can't stopFDS = Field-avoidance Dating Strategy | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 05:24 AM |
| 23 | I can't stopFielding all the field memes.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 05:22 AM |
| 67 | Field Report - 8th date suggestion from a man interested in pursuing me. See comment for context.Is this maze in a field? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 05:20 AM |
| 83 | Field Report - 8th date suggestion from a man interested in pursuing me. See comment for context.Does he not know your name after several dates ("beautiful/pretty lady")? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/20 05:07 AM |
| 83 | I've always been scared of "sweet talkers" or "overly-romantic" guysTalk is cheap. I mentally dismiss that kind of chatter as love bombing, propaganda, etc. If a man is truly attracted to me, he will want to be in my presence often which requires him to pay attention and make plans. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 06:53 PM |
| 12 | My profile said I don't want kids, and I don't do hookups 😡Like moths to the flame... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 06:29 PM |
| 16 | And they want you to fix it too 🤡Is that a field I spy in the background? Jackpot! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 06:07 PM |
| 27 | Abusive Men and Their (Often Female) AlliesIt's an ego rush for female allies: "Oh, look here, I was able to heal him." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/20 01:40 PM |
| 8 | Wrestling anime guy took half a year of psychology in high school and thinks he knows everything. Goes on 25 minute sexist, homophobic, and victim blaming rant that basically translates too... “I can’t get laid!” 😂😂And his underlying assumption in all of his ranting is that he is entitled to women's time, attention, goodwill, etc. Even if he took better care of himself physically, women would still find his attitude revolting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 11:00 PM |
| 11 | Wrestling anime guy took half a year of psychology in high school and thinks he knows everything. Goes on 25 minute sexist, homophobic, and victim blaming rant that basically translates too... “I can’t get laid!” 😂😂Henceforth he shall be known as Sir DumbThumb. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 10:53 PM |
| 130 | When they expect us to melt after merely stating the obvious"You are beautiful" = "You have a vagina, yes? Can I use it? Tonight? In a field I know?" | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 08:42 PM |
| 9 | Wrestling anime guy took half a year of psychology in high school and thinks he knows everything. Goes on 25 minute sexist, homophobic, and victim blaming rant that basically translates too... “I can’t get laid!” 😂😂His boobs are bigger than mine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 05:10 PM |
| 9 | This has to stop. The bar is SO low for men!May the Lord open | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 11:55 AM |
| 66 | Learning how to control your emotional response and attachment to men is POWER.Also Google "grey rock" when having to interact with disgruntled LV types. Was very useful during divorce/separation/co-parenting. It is funny to watch LVs lose it when they no longer can bait you emotionally. My ex accused me of the high crime of being different after 17 years of knowing me (we had already agreed to divorce when this convo happened). I calmly said "How different? Name some examples". He couldn't name any examples but kept whining that I had changed and eventually sighed and sto… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/20 12:28 AM |
| 97 | Man gets ghosted...🙄Yes, they leave so much out -> deception by omission. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 05:13 PM |
| 56 | This has to stop. The bar is SO low for men!Straight from Gilead... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 03:20 PM |
| 9 | LVM encouraging LVMHmm, looks like my ex-husband's handwriting.... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/20 03:19 PM |
| 146 | 🤭 oops"See, I even got her a collar and a leash." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 08:22 PM |
| 24 | In an ask men post, I came across hundreds of comments in a thread talking shit about FDS, saying no one here has a boyfriend or has ever been near a man, and that women here have only baby daddies and have no jobs. What the heck?Agreed. That would take a lot of work, though i.e. letting women know that their sense of self worth should not come from whether a male validates them or not. And ideally that would start from childhood but until then, we can share our experiences and the FDS approach. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 04:18 PM |
| 77 | In an ask men post, I came across hundreds of comments in a thread talking shit about FDS, saying no one here has a boyfriend or has ever been near a man, and that women here have only baby daddies and have no jobs. What the heck?If women collectively maintained standards and boundaries, then LVMs would have to improve themselves or be left out of dating/mating/gene pool. It is far easier to disparage women than leave their comfort zones of complacency and entitlement. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 02:53 PM |
| 13 | Continuously cautious of men who look for "young girls"Yup: covert narc, alcoholic, covert misogynist, entitled golden son (thanks, ex MIL), financially/psychologically abusive. Life is so much better now, but i will share my cautionary tales about marrying an LVM. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:35 PM |
| 16 | Continuously cautious of men who look for "young girls"All this with my ex went down in a certain orange-a$$ed breastaurant aka an emotional brothel. The place is disgusting, too: they post pics of their waitresses posing and add text along the lines of "Amy can't wait to see you today. Stop by and ask to sit in her section." | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:21 PM |
| 40 | Continuously cautious of men who look for "young girls"It isn't just about "young p*ssy", it is also about having the upper hand because he is benefiting from her inexperience (i.e. that older men don't have her welfare at heart). In my ex's case, it was also about the ego boost of having her on his arm in front of other guys. To him, she was just another object to bolster his image management. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:14 PM |
| 78 | Continuously cautious of men who look for "young girls"Yeah, they're looking for a vulnerable point of entry. Long story short: divorced my ex husband for infidelity among other things. I confirmed the cheating because he discarded an old cell phone in our garage thinking I would never find it. Anyhow, I read through the messages and there's an exchange between ex and a buddy/enabler where buddy says, "bruh, if she has daddy issues, you're in." Disgusting. Ex was 38 at the time; his target was 17. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/20 12:03 PM |
| 36 | This is literally LVM logic. They blame their lack of charisma on us instead of introspecting and becoming a better person to be around.LV dating is a numbers game. HV dating is a discernment game. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 06:13 PM |
| 6 | Ladies, if you’re lucky enough for this guy to ask you to get a drink, you’d better bring a stopwatch! You’ve got one hour!LV types can show up in any type and any typing system so I stay away from using it for dating purposes. If anything, I use it for self-awareness of my dominant preferences. As for choosing friends / partners, I look to their behavior to determine their staying power in my life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 12:51 AM |
| 15 | Ladies, if you’re lucky enough for this guy to ask you to get a drink, you’d better bring a stopwatch! You’ve got one hour!Supposedly the INTJ-ENFP is an ideal coupling but I could never understand that. I am INTJ and most ENFPs I have encountered annoy and exhaust me (and that is just on the platonic level). Nor do I want to be "cracked"; I relax around people who have earned my trust not LVMs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/20 12:12 AM |
| 13 | What would I cook?Teaspoon is too generous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 11:41 PM |
| 18 | What would I cook?My son sometimes asks me for dinner. I usually say something like bread with tears or passive-aggressive sighs. (We take turns cooking and sometimes he figures out his own meals, but i don't want him thinking it is a woman's role to cook for a man and be so excited/honored to do it). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/09/20 09:04 PM |
| 34 | Now we know who to blame... 😂Oh, in my first few postpartum days, my ex asked me to be more sociable and at one point stormed into our room accusing me of making his (manipulative) mom cry. This was after 2+ days of labor and difficulties with getting nursing started. At the most vulnerable point in my life -- physically and psychologically, they expected me to be a cheerful Stepford wife/hostess despite perineal tears and engorged breasts. Good riddance. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 07:27 PM |
| 8 | Starting a new chapter: My journey from alcoholic waitress to first solo apartment and new careerGreat work -- these are all healthy tasks and accomplishments! The best part of waking up is freedom in your cup. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:31 PM |
| 105 | Now we know who to blame... 😂Ex-husband was raised as a golden son who can do no wrong. Ex MIL still enables his behavior. (Ex FIL is still in the picture but just goes along with everything and feigns helplessness on just about everything -- so useless he may as well be absent). A few months ago when our son was with his dad for the weekend and ex ILs were visiting, ex proceeds to get blackout drunk and make a fool of himself. Ex MIL looks at my son and tells him, "no one needs to know about this" (no one means me but obvi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 03:23 PM |
| 51 | Scrote forces wife to fire wonderful doula because he can’t be around an attractive woman due to his pornsick brainWhy does the husband need to be in the delivery room? The medical staff will already have another infant to deal with... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/09/20 12:43 AM |
| 8 | NVM wet dream. This is what we are up against in the dating world.Too bad for them we don't operate on that remote's frequency. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 06:20 PM |
| 9 | 🤡*Circus music slowly gets louder*🤡Product opportunity for Dyson. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 04:03 PM |
| 25 | Local man can't handle the fact his girlfriend is smarter than himLow EI/empathy "she disrespects me, and I will be unable/unwilling to control my own anger so that I have no choice but to hit her" as if he is a victim. 🙄 But women are the irrational and excessively emotional ones? Whatever, scrote .... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/09/20 02:58 AM |
| 1 | Oh look, another man with an unwashed ass has an opinion on something he knows nothing about.LV logic: My pee-hole and sex-hole are the same so it must be the same for your body. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 08:59 PM |
| 7 | We're doing the right thingAgreed. If we want to focus on being with people with HV behaviors, part of making that distinction is by sharing what to avoid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 08:27 PM |
| 13 | We're doing the right thingExactly. My ex-husband left an old cell phone in a garbage bag in our garage. I found it while decluttering and hacked it since he had been behaving oddly the past few months. (That is how I confirmed his "boys' weekend" had been a co-ed boys' weekend involving a teenaged pick-me orange-butted waitress.) Among other things, he also whined to a buddy that he had to keep it quiet because he didn't want to lose "half of HIS worldly goods". Nevermind that the assets were jointly owned and I had main… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 07:03 PM |
| 39 | We're doing the right thingRight -- it's not man-hating. Rather, it's LV-behavior-hating. If they can't choose better, higher-value behavior, that's on them. It is on us to be more discerning and observant and respond accordingly. That is FDS from my point of view. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 04:06 PM |
| 11 | When a LVM says he is "loyal"Loyal until his partner discovers him with someone else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 03:57 PM |
| 27 | It's not about if you love each other, it's about how he makes you feel. There is no love that is worth crying yourself to sleep every night. Choose you, sis.Yup! We can still love LV people -- whether it be platonically or romantically -- from a distance. Just because we care about someone, it doesn't mean they deserve proximity to us. Rather, the quality of their behavior/actions determines proximity and access. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/09/20 12:54 PM |
| 34 | If you think about it, it's actually kind of funny when men tell women to smile more.This kind of request from men only serves to intensify my RBF. And the thought in my head goes like this: "aww, you poor emotionally unstable creature who feels it is necessary to get a stranger to smile so you feel like you have some degree of power/control in this world." I am wary of anyone -- male or female -- who tries to tell me how to feel or how/when to express myself emotionally. That type usually has no/low emotional boundaries (whining "you made me feel..." and then cue the name calli… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 12:26 PM |
| 8 | High Earning, Well-Educated and Well-Dressed Does Not a HVM MakeI know. I have experienced and heard so much anecdotal evidence from other miltary ex-spouses that military status/history is a potential red flag in the dating realm. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 11:58 AM |
| 12 | High Earning, Well-Educated and Well-Dressed Does Not a HVM MakeThe entitlement is pretty extreme. I know plenty of former military spouses on my infidelity recovery groups. They operate from the same playbook. And they seem to think veteran/military status compensates for LV behavior. I find it interesting that a lot of FB friend requests I get are from widowed deployed commissioned officers. They're obviously scammers, but they think they think the veteran/widowed/deployed status will get me to stroke their egos or send them money. "Nah, dude, and while yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 11:55 AM |
| 86 | High Earning, Well-Educated and Well-Dressed Does Not a HVM MakeWord. LVMs can be very good at impression management. My ex-husband is a major in the military, makes decent money, has a nice house in an upper middle class neighborhood, a 2 yo old truck, and knows how to shmooze and dress the part. He's also an alcoholic, a cheater, and a covert narcissist/misogynist and can't emotionally engage with anyone to save his life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 02:45 AM |
| 13 | So this woman has been sleeping on this scrotes brown pillows prior to this?!!!I remember decluttering and throwing out some decorative pillows my ex had used when napping on the couch in the basement (also where he hid to watch porn) several years ago. I noticed there was a light powder on them -- guessing it was dead skin and whatever else. I tried not to touch it and threw them in the garbage bag but I do remember some of the "dust" flying off the pillow into the air. The next day I got something like food poisoning. I don't recall eating anything questionable, but I su… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 02:34 AM |
| 5 | So this woman has been sleeping on this scrotes brown pillows prior to this?!!!It would take less time and energy to get rid of him than the time she spent cleaning the pillows. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/09/20 02:26 AM |
| 2 | ✔️I wish I'd seen this 20 years ago... But I am pleased to report that I can have that attitude at 42. Post-divorce, I have furthered my education, strengthened my friendships, improved my finances (easy to do when you're not married to someone who can't/won't use a checkbook or discuss money), planned vacations to be fun not cheap, and given up people-pleasing. I may get to dating again, but if I never have a LTR again, I won't mind. So liberating! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/20 03:18 PM |
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