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houndhair Archive

View 5 posts and 46 comments by houndhair on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Are you talking about court appointed representation? That’s a good point.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 05:28 PM
1

Good advice, thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:24 PM
2

Yes this is my concern — if we get too specific and then for whatever reason the call doesn’t happen; or is short — then I’m in contempt. I call daily around bedtime to say goodnight. The kids are almost always occupied and i keep it brief. Tbh; FaceTime with a 3 yr old doesn’t lead to much substantive conversation— and I see him regularly and live half mile away.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 04:22 PM
2

Thank you for your input
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 08:45 PM
2

My sentiments exactly. Always relate back to “best interest of the kids” - thanks for the reminder . I am attempting to negotiate w her attorney outside of court. My feeling is I’m being very reasonable and would hope if it came down to it a judge would agree w me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 08:15 PM
3

Yes our friction lies in our differing opinions of “reasonable”. So they are seeking specific language regarding number of minutes each day. I think what they are asking is too much. And not for the kids but for her as another commenter said . I think yes I’d like to know what other peoples FT arrangements are w young kids so I can get a baseline idea. Also curious where people think a judge would decide. I think my response of 10minutes once a day prior to bed is “reasonable”.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 08:13 PM
2

That’s the thing I try to think about — the cost and the chance the judgement doesn’t come down in my favor
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/21 09:49 PM
2

We’ve retained attorneys and I was served last week. I don’t believe there’s any waiting period, and it’s no fault
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/20 07:07 PM
11

I tried to save it for a year. Lawyers are now retained. When it’s over it’s over. It was a painful 12 months. And will be more painful as she is now going for the jugular w custody. But she’s not going to get it. Just move on. I lost a lot of dignity in the process of trying to win her back, and, it’s just the way it works: she will lose more respect for you the more you try to convince her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/20 12:57 PM
5

Damn I needed to read this today. Thanks .
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/19 01:42 PM
1

Fair enough. I’ll come up to it I’m sure somewhere in my journey. Obviously haven’t gone through all the steps. Joined AA w sponsor about 2 weeks ago. Whatever happens happens. I’m entitled to that.
/r/askMRP07/12/19 04:00 PM
1

How would the advice make it hard to do the 12 steps?
/r/askMRP07/12/19 02:03 PM
1

Yes have it Qued up in audible. AA is great. Gets you out among some other tough dudes who’ve been through hell and back. Raw talk in there.
/r/askMRP06/12/19 03:51 PM
1

Thanks for reading and commenting. It’s amazing how easy it is to slip into DEER... but what a worthy discipline to carry out. When you avoid DEER people have no choice but to respect you. Maybe not like you. But respect.
/r/askMRP06/12/19 03:50 PM
1

Thanks
/r/askMRP06/12/19 03:48 PM
1

Thanks man. It’s been pretty amazing getting all this feedback. Have a good one.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 11:59 PM
2

Wow dude, you’re spot on. I think that was a years worth of therapy insight. Do you accept insurance? Lol. I’ll have to re-read that a few times. Thank you, truly, for taking the time. One more to add, I feel shame about my squats only being 145lbs. Haha.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 11:58 PM
1

Haha, idk it frustrates me! I feel like my squats are weak because my right knee. I’ve never had a knee injury. But I just feel like my knees can’t take heavy heavy weight
/r/askMRP05/12/19 11:45 PM
1

Wow man. I just read up on that. It’s true I definitely have these shame-based thought patterns. Feeling “not good enough”, ect. It’s some heavy stuff. One one hand I tell myself I’m perfectly good enough. But deep down there is doubt. If only there was a manual to untucking oneself
/r/askMRP05/12/19 10:33 PM
1

I remember reading about “toxic shame” in NMMNG. I’m sure I do have some of that, though the concept is a bit fuzzy for me now. Have to re-read that part. What am I ashamed about? I don’t know. I admit I sounded foolish and boisterous with my “i am the prize” claim. Thanks for calling me out on it.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 10:22 PM
1

Well that’s definitely true. Question, how much did you eat to gain 40lbs of muscle in two years?
/r/askMRP05/12/19 09:13 PM
1

Yea I’ve used that line as a convenient delusion, it’s true. Which is actually refreshing to realize— that the score keeping of money doesn’t really matter. I guess my rawest inadequacy is self confidence. Pure self confidence that radiates from within, without regard to which way the wind is blowing. Thanks for your comments.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 08:59 PM
1

Thanks for reading and writing in. I agree it was a symptom of a bigger issue. I do have a pretty detailed vision of my mission. I’ll elaborate on it in my first OYS.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 08:53 PM
1

Wow, thanks for sharing that link to your post history. Did y’all decide to stay together? Yes, I was dumb for asking. I will not be asking again.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 08:23 PM
1

Yes, will evaluate after clearing up my side of the street fully. Thanks ! And good luck to you!
/r/askMRP05/12/19 08:07 PM
1

Wow, awesome gains man. 40lbs of muscle is a huge deal. Sleep is the tough one to control for me with two little ones cranking in the night. If you could put on 40lbs then surely I could do at least 10lbs in the next 6 months.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 08:05 PM
3

Goddamn that’s the simple truth. I agree. It was a naive question I admit.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 07:59 PM
1

Thanks for your thoughtful comment. Powerful metaphor. Putting in the work.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 07:58 PM
2

Wow, broomsticks under the door! That’s funny thanks for sharing. Timeline: 2.5 months ago: “it’s over, I want a divorce.” Present (after putting down the bottle, joining AA, and clearing up a lot of other resentments): “I’m conflicted, I don’t know, I need space.” When she says space, I just take it literally. She needs to spend time apart. Maybe get boned by some other dude, idk lol. You’re right, I don’t have frame. Obviously I’m writing to strangers about her. I care too much. I’m in her hea…
/r/askMRP05/12/19 07:55 PM
2

Yes I got that
/r/askMRP05/12/19 07:42 PM
1

I like the your 3 aspects of man. It’s a good way to evaluate yourself. Thanks. I’ll try to be honest with myself here: Husband: F — My boozing really wreaked havoc here. I didn’t even realize how much it affected her. On top of that, she consistently makes more money than me. So she feels like the financial provider. Though I do fine money wise (quite good actually most years but fluctuates), she does better. (First world problems). This knocks me down a peg. I know I’m fucked lol. But I’ve alw…
/r/askMRP05/12/19 07:42 PM
1

Yes, that is true and definitely applies to the situation. My focus is to own my shit 100% from now on. No room for being weak in a marriage. That’s what therapists are for!
/r/askMRP05/12/19 06:26 PM
2

Thank you. Yes got w good sponsor, doing my 90/90...
/r/askMRP05/12/19 06:03 PM
1

Thanks for your input. Yup, I own my faults here. Been trying very hard not to slip into DEER mode. With anybody, frankly. And yes, before kids i was a loser. But I was getting enthusiastic sex, so I didn’t care or realize. I think after kids that kicked up her concern on a deep maternal level. Why did I marry this faggot? Who will protect if he’s out god knows where coming home drunk. Married 8 yrs. I got a ways to go.... And yes, I already felt like hey, it’s been 2 months! Need to be patient
/r/askMRP05/12/19 05:35 PM
2

Thanks for you reply. That what my ego wanted to hear! Will keep my foot on gas. And keep pushing myself in all ways. That’s the mission simply: be the best I can be, spiritually, and in all my outward facing roles. The reason I think it would be a shame to divorce is because 90% of our time together it’s normal. We joke around, have fun w kids, ect. Then she remembers she’s mad at me and reminds me she wants space when I go in for the kill.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 05:28 PM
3

Interesting. 180g, dang! You know what, fuck it. I’ll try.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 05:09 PM
2

I hear ya. That’s really what I’m wondering. Is it even possible to overcome it? Time will tell. Did you turn around a similar situation ?
/r/askMRP05/12/19 05:04 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. Yes, she feels walked all over. And it seems more of a matter of her self respect. I get it. About lifts, i agree, looks are all that matter. Gaining mass as a skinny dude is tough without roids! Interesting you say higher volume and easy weights to get there. I appreciate your sincerity.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:51 PM
2

About branch swinging, or at least wanting to fuck another guy: I’m sure you’re right. AWALT. But I don’t have any proof, so I’m trying not to go down that rabbit hole. But it’s tempting. I want what’s best for me, unapologetically selfish about that. And I want that like I want air to breathe.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:40 PM
1

Lol. Will do, thanks!
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:29 PM
2

Thanks! Congrats on your sobriety.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:20 PM
1

Thanks for your thoughts. Yes, need to jump in the OYS. Not being needy is paramount. Always gotta check myself on this. Thanks.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:16 PM
1

Thanks for your reply. Booze is definitely out for good. I know, my weight is low. Try to get 100g of protein daily. Small frame I guess. My lifts are the highest they’ve ever been. Good physique. Continual progress is the goal. Very mindful to avoid to injury. Fucked up my shoulder in the past due to my ego.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:08 PM
4

Thanks for the reply. The meetings have been pretty cool actually. I look forward to them for now. I’ll definitely check out his books. We’ll see if the rule of thumb holds out. Divorce would suck, because we actually like each other and the kids would miss out on a lot of good stuff. And I would feel like a failure. But I know deep down, I’d be fine.
/r/askMRP05/12/19 04:02 PM
4

“I’ll be going the week without, just so I know I can...” You’re rationalizing to convince yourself. I’m just some objective stranger on the internet. You’re not convincing me. Trust me dude. Just drop it. The reason I’m actually taking time writing to you is because you sound exactly like I did. I had a million reasons too. If you sit around and say, “I want to just stop eating bananas for a week, to see if I can do it’— would you say you had a handle on this whole banana thing?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 02:55 PM
3

If drinking is a thing you have to think about, and actively control—just stop drinking completely. I say this as someone who has quit drinking 2 mos ago. I was actually terrified of stopping. And I didn’t drink a case a night. Just a beer or two each day, more on the weekends. But you know what, since I stopped I still hang out w guy friends, I am still having as much or even more fun in social settings. And I’m never hung over, skin is better, not bloated anymore, mid section got tighter almos…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 12:45 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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