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icebluefrost Archive

View 0 posts and 184 comments by icebluefrost on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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38

Bro. You’re a single dad. The ship has kinda sailed on whether you get to complain about single moms in your dating pool.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 01:37 AM
10

Well, probably not, no. If they’re testing every probable father and keeping his DNA on file, they’re probably going to start finding fathers for babies that didn’t have one as well. So, there are going to be a lot of men who noped out who get tagged as a biodad when they wouldn’t have in our current system.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 11:00 AM
1

Again, not saying there’s aren’t women who talk like this, but it’s not common. That said, the women who do obsess over penises are, I guess, the right match for the men who do as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 01:47 PM
3

This is just normal business casual wear?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 07:07 PM
0

I think it depends. Are you saying because you’re at the same level in your field and share the same social circle and it was a genuine shock that you weren’t the same age? Then it’s probably not a problem (though, even then, I personally think it’s best to date your age or you’re going to spend your older years either making your partner get old before their time or being a nurse and a widow(er)). Or are you actively searching out partners who are younger than you? That’s kinda of creepy and do…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 04:14 PM
1

So you think red pill advice is good for getting long term relationships? Or mainly for shallower sex-centered interactions?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 06:06 PM
1

I think that’s true about most red pill advice: it’s oriented towards hooking up. If you want an actual healthy long term partnership that lasts decades, the red pill will prevent you from ever achieving that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/24 12:17 PM
18

"Just existing is not enough." That's his point. It should be enough in a close relationship. The only relationship in which this is true is a small child to their parent. If OP got a girlfriend, would her mere existence be enough? Or would he want her to do and say certain things to keep him happy?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 12:25 PM
2

She has to have no better options than an old man who is in all other ways average or less than average
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:28 AM
9

particularly if you have a daughter Why do you say this? I ask because I personally know a ton of “failure to launch” men in their 30s and above who have never had a career and live at home, supported wholly by their parents, but only one woman who fits that description.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 05:24 AM
6

(Women can make money too)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 02:17 PM
11

“Walk away wife” refers to a specific situation in which a woman repeatedly brings up an issue which is dismissed as insignificant by her partner. Nothing changes, and then eventually she leaves, blindsiding her partner who never thought she actually expected anything to change.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 01:25 AM
1

If they’re not doing half of the domestic labor (cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc), they’re not a 50/50 man.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 08:39 PM
7

You’re saying that men don’t meet women because women are always at work. Do these men not work too? My husband and I met because we work in the same field. That’s the case for almost everyone of my friends and many of my family members as well. If anything, it’s better this way because you’re more likely to meet someone with a similar lifestyle, goals, and value system as you when you both actively sought out the same specific career path.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:26 AM
1

But wiping out your deductible is a good thing? It means expenses after that are covered.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:17 AM
3

My rent doesn’t increase My man, are you planning on raising a whole ass family in a studio apartment? Also, kids need school, extracurriculars, college…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:02 AM
1

It’s selection bias: people who won’t live together till after marriage are less likely to divorce even if they’re absolutely miserable (and often even in the case of ongoing physical and sexual abuse).
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 06:39 PM
3

…as opposed to a woman getting pregnant by a broke and useless man?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/23 12:37 AM
7

At least in the United States, fewer and fewer states (8 total, currently) recognize common law marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 04:12 AM
2

Some teenagers do. Most don’t. Personally, I think it’s best if everyone is “marriage-minded” from whenever they first start exploring romantic relationships but doesn’t actually commit to marriage and children until they’re totally ready.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 07:18 PM
10

Because then it was never a real friendship. It’s not mimicking friendships as a sexual strategy; it’s making actual friends and developing relationships out of a small segment of those friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:23 PM
1

I am incredibly aloof when strangers try to hit on me and always have been. I’ve never been on a date via an app or website for similar reasons (I don’t really know any of those people and they frankly don’t know me well enough to be interested for anything other than shallow reasons). All my relationships started as friendships and blossomed from there as we got to know each other really well and developed attraction. Never had a problem finding fulfilling relationships (haven’t been meaningful…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 02:21 PM
5

My husband doing chores isn’t a turn-on, but looking around a clean house and noticing work he’s done does make me much more attracted to him (including, yes, sexually). The same carries over for all the domestic labor (watching him be a good dad makes me want to have more sex with him, for example). On the flip side, if the house is a mess, I don’t want to have sex until it looks better (it’s not going to be enjoyable anyway as I’ll be too stressed about the house). And, if I’m doing a lot of c…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/23 02:20 PM
23

I mean, this sounds like a selection bias problem: the people who are going to be weighing on in the comments are going to be women who had a similar approach, but that doesn’t mean that’s true of women at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 01:43 AM
1

There are a lot of guys like this. They don’t deserve sex or relationships and should be publicly shamed for it so other people know what they’re like. Lot of other men are respectful and loving and worth building a longterm relationship with and enjoying mutual sexual pleasure together.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 11:53 AM
2

gay bars You know, plenty of women are gay too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/23 08:02 PM
3

Sure, but a 23/yr/old who’s obsessed with YA fiction is still unlikely to be one actively seeking out marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 11:27 AM
14

I also think OP is still a child, and while the reason you pointed out is part of that, here’s the real tell: the female fantasy centers around…6’4” billionaire surgeon vampires That’s true…if the females you’re talking about are roughly 15-years-old. That’s the key demographic for things like Twilight. Of course, there are some grown women who are obsessed with such things, but they’re generally kind of immature losers: it’s not really normal for a 30-year-old woman to seriously care about thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/23 11:15 AM
–

Right. So many angry men that they are not valued simply for being men. Well, whether they choose to acknowledge it or not, the same goes for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 04:56 PM
–

Completely agree with everything you wrote above. I wouldn’t describe myself as a “traditionally feminine woman,” but I am a woman who has certain traditional values and embraces her womanhood. The number of times I’ve been shut down in this sub for explaining that, essentially you get what you give (whether it’s having to abstain from casual sex yourself if you’re wanting a partner who does the same or having to split chores and domestic labor 50/50 if you want finances split evenly as well or …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 04:54 PM
14

Women are much more likely to do things like shave, wear makeup, do their nails, get their hair done, where trendy or generally more thought out or put-together outfits, etc. Again, not everywhere. But certainly in most of the U.S.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:27 PM
9

As a woman, I agree loosely, but I want to add to this: Women tend to put a lot more effort into their appearance than men do. A man wearing sloppy shorts, a tshirt, and flip flops with no additional grooming efforts made is much more common to see than a woman doing the same, outside of certain very specific locations/situations. Secondly, women absolutely notice looks, but are far less likely to have sex solely on that basis. An attractive man isn’t necessarily one that is worth the substantia…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:18 PM
7

Pretty sure OP is a 14-year-old boy based on that line alone
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:56 AM
5

No, you just need men who step up and do their fair share of childcare and housework and a society that understands and accommodates having more people be born is necessary for their own future benefit and therefore stop punishing women who have children (by excluding them from the workplace and social spheres)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 04:52 PM
3

I mean, just because someone is in the mood to make out or get naked or give/receive oral sex or whatever doesn’t mean they’re immediately in the mood for every sexual act ever imagined.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:53 PM
3

No, you haven’t. Consent isn’t blanket. Someone might be down for one sex act but not another.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:16 PM
1

Yes, and I do with him as well. We’ve been together about 12 years, so a lot of it is nonverbal now though. That’s one of the advantages of longterm relationships: you develop a nonverbal language that applies to sex just as it does communicating across a crowded room that you’re ready to leave or that you want to take or leave a given deal when with a salesperson, etc. But when we first got together? One of the things that I liked about him was that he never did anything without making sure I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:14 PM
3

Instant dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:06 PM
12

Many women consider it ruining the mood if you verbally ask for consent No? There are lots of sexy ways to ask for consent: “I want to fuck you so bad.” “I want to bury my head between your thighs” “Are you ready for my cock?” “Tell me how you want me.” Etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:06 PM
2

I’m 34 and what you described is how this actually tends to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 08:11 PM
–

In my case, if I had sex based on lust, I’d have had sex with a looooot more people than I actually have.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:41 AM
1

Yes, absolutely not unique to being libertarian. My point was in response to the initial comment: Politics is irrelevant. A conservative chad can still attract liberal women. That might be true of people who nominally identify with own label or another, but it won’t be for people who genuinely have principled political views.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:30 AM
0

Well, yeah. Again, that’s not an issue. The issue is men who claim to be libertarians but are not actually principled libertarians. But my larger point was, plenty of women are not going to be interested in someone ideologically very different from them; they’d rather be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:26 AM
9

I’m a libertarian woman who is only interested in genuinely libertarian men (by which I mean, not just conservative—or, less common, liberal—assholes who think the libertarian label makes them sound cooler). All of my single lady friends biggest complaint with dating is that once they start dating men, they turn out not to be as libertarian as they had initially claimed and thus the women are no longer interested. Now, granted, I think there is a selection bias here as we all are particularly in…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 11:46 PM
1

There is a risk of STDs; there is not a risk of pregnancy. Yes, that greatly changes the calculation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 05:40 PM
3

Me, personally? Yes. I would only have PIV sex in a committed long term relationship with someone I would be willing to, at the very least, co-parent a child with, and with whom I have had all the necessary conversations about doing so and, to best of my knowledge, am on the same page.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 05:32 PM
1

Men view the concept of casual as being how available sex is altogether In 12 years, I’ve maybe turned my husband down for sex twice? And I’ve instigated hundreds of times. By your definition, that’s casual…which makes your definition not that great.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 05:23 PM
2

They’re sexual encounters, sure, but they’re empirically not the same commitment level as PIV sex. Except in weird freak cases, you cannot get pregnant from a blow job.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 05:21 PM
2

This is stupid. In that case, I’ve been having casual sex with my husband for the last 12 years since I’m almost always DTF if he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 05:19 PM
6

Right, which is probably enough for women who are primarily interested in casual sex. But, for women who put a very high bar on when and with whom they have sex—for example, women who believe in remaining virgins until marriage—sexual chemistry is not generally the main motivator for entering into a relationship. Does it matter? In most cases, yes, but similar values are likely near the top of their lists, and most of these men do not share that with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 08:46 PM
16

Right, there I agree with you. My point is, a man that has a lot of casual sex and then wants to marry a virgin might find many of them don’t want him, just as the reverse can be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:07 PM
15

But then how is it any different from a woman who did the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 07:00 PM
4

Right, but in doing so you disqualify yourself from engaging in relationships with a lot of people who don’t engage in casual sex. Or, you lie about it, which is not a great way to start off a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 05:20 PM
14

Why would a woman who doesn’t believe in casual sec want to get into a relationship with a man who does?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 05:19 PM
2

It certainly depends. Seems like the onus is on the person who wants that kind of arrangement though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:52 PM
8

No, absolutely not. And I say this as someone who is personally anti-abortion. Men who do not want to have their potential children aborted need to be very careful to only have sex with women who are similarly anti-abortion and to have a clear and mutually agreed upon plan in place prior to sex for what will happen if a baby is conceived. I’m fine with “financial abortions” provided the father can prove that there was a clear mutual agreement prior to conception that he would have no role, finan…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:49 PM
2

I think you’re right that women no longer want or need marriage just for financial reasons/base survival, but I think you’re dead wrong on the types of things most women are looking for in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 11:53 AM
4

Uh, that is definitely not the type of language I am looking for in my erotica and I generally skip over it. I much prefer the internal thought processes stuff. Feeling nervous about interactions, that kind of thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 06:59 PM
19

I see this claim here a lot and it does not at all track to my real world experience as a woman with plenty of female friends. I have been in roomfuls of women discussing this topic and we almost never agree on which men are attractive and which are not. Different people are attracted to very different characteristics.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 06:46 PM
29

That only happens if the fathers aren’t taking an equal role in raising them, which includes all the hard parts and spending most of their time and energy focused on their kids’ well-being
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 03:38 PM
6

I mean, in this case it sounds like she just wanted to smoke weed? It doesn’t sound like romantic intentions either way. Would you equally have been confused if a boy invited you into his house to smoke weed but then mentioned his girlfriend?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 08:58 PM
2

Yes and no. I have eyes. There are numerous physical traits I find attractive (though, honestly a significant number of them have to do with grooming and personal style). But, I have throughout my life grown physically attracted to people I found not at all attractive first because I like things about them as a person just as I have lost all physical attraction quickly to people for things they have said or done. So yeah, I probably could get horny for Danny DeVito if we became good friends and …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 02:58 AM
0

I literally wouldn’t know a total stranger was “my type” or not. My type involves a certain set of values, personality traits, outlook, etc. If, as a friendship develops, I notice you have these traits, I might start getting more physically attracted to you. Much more often the opposite happens: someone seems physically attractive at first (which, honestly, is a whole lot of people, potentially), but they say or do something that reveals a personality or values mismatch and I immediately lose al…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 02:46 AM
3

I mean, personally, I’d be pretty turned off by them both. The first is obviously super disrespectful, but in the second you’d still be a stranger who doesn’t know anything about me except for how I look.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 02:37 AM
4

What kind of a man is doing all those things with a casual fling in the first place? I certainly wouldn’t expect a partner to pay my college tuition, let alone someone I’m not even that serious about. Is your question then, what if a man used to be a sugar daddy but now wants an actual relationship? Because this is weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 06:01 PM
1

a guy who she wants to “change” Make or female, if you feel the need to change them, they’re not the right match for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:39 AM
1

I am a happily and very definitely married woman. I have about an equal number of male and female friends as well as about an equal number of single and couples friends. I’d definitely not going on “dates” with any of them though.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 11:32 PM
2

I have one toddler and I am frequently frustrated by how messy a room looks within minutes of me cleaning it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 06:20 PM
10

I would assume it’s because they tried it and didn’t like it. Regardless, they don’t consent to it now, which is what matters. That’s a hypothetical, of course. This isn’t: There are some sexual things I would like to do with my husband, but I know it’s not something he’s into, so we don’t. Because, when it comes to sex, anything less than two enthusiastic yeses is a no.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 01:24 PM
1

Proof of rape, extramarital affairs, men who just don’t want to be responsible for a baby, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 05:13 PM
6

Such a system would inevitably lead to much higher homicide rates for pregnant women. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/homicide-leading-cause-of-death-for-pregnant-women-in-u-s/
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 12:15 AM
7

It would absolutely be used other ways. It would also put the DNA of every new baby on record.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/23 12:08 AM
15

Well, to begin with, it’s very rarely actually about women having kids. It’s a misogynistic thirst for control over women and unlimited access to sex, which is what they imagine would happen if women were forced to marry them and keep pumping out kids. Men choosing not to have kids is good for them as it’s one less man they have to compete against to get access to a woman. Women choosing not to have kids is bad because it’s one less woman they potentially can trap into sexual servitude for them.…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 05:01 PM
1

I looked it up. Construction workers in my area make much less money than I do at my desk job.
/r/MensRights04/04/23 12:47 PM
3

Maybe it’s because you’re not intelligent enough to be able to tell when people are smarter than you, because based on what you just typed, unless English is your third language, that’s most of the population, regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 11:57 AM
4

Eh, i think men who prefer a virgin are fine as long as they’re a virgin too and specifically looking for a serious, long term committed relationship with said fellow virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 03:35 AM
17

I’m a woman, but frankly I think any guy who “cold approaches” me is a total creep. He could be the most physically attractive guy I’ve ever met, but what’s he doing talking to me like that when we’ve never met and he doesn’t even know me? Unless this is a term that also applies to just trying to get to know someone better whom you already kind of know through school/work/hobbies/networking/church/mutual friends/whatever, I think it’s creepy, period. It’s a sign that the interest is purely physi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/23 03:14 PM
1

I’m a bisexual woman. The man and woman in the photos you posted look equally attractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 06:56 PM
1

What gates, bro? We’re not living in medieval towns. And frankly, sometimes the best plan is to hide out and leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/23 03:57 PM
1

I mean, the muscle suit thing makes me think of Arrested Development, so I’m not sure if that’s an actual thing that would look not weird in real life. But, otherwise, yeah, no problem on my end. Wear what makes you happy! And, plenty of hypermasculine men (including all the angry talking heads on conservative television) are wearing makeup. It makes you look better on camera.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/23 03:12 PM
3

That is a thing, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/23 05:26 AM
7

Right, so then you’d be willing to sleep with any (or at least many) women. There’s nothing about a given woman that makes waiting worth it for you. I’m not saying that’s a bad decision for you, but personally I’ve never been interested in men like that. I am extremely selective and I am only interested in men who are equally selective, so my method worked for me—it weeds out people who just want to have sex and don’t care too much who it’s with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 03:42 PM
4

I never had sex less than six months into a committed relationship, usually closer to a year. You can still be physically close and do other things, but I didn’t want to get baby-trapped by someone who turned out to not be worth committing my life to. I saw only benefits to it: it weeded out the men who were only interested in casual sex or who didn’t really like me for me. I never had trouble dating, and am a happily married mom now, so it worked for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/23 03:18 PM
3

I mean, yeah, women tend to put more effort into their appearance. A lot of men just don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/23 03:16 PM
1

Wait, height doesn’t change (for the most part). So if they were initially ok with dating you, why would they leave because of your height?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/23 03:44 AM
1

If my husband wanted to leave our family to join a military force, I would consider him a deserter and a bad husband and father. That’s not the same as not fighting. We can defend ourselves and our family from anyone attacking us 1-1, but his allegiance, just the same as mine, should be to his family, not the state. Especially in times of crisis, you need to stand by your family first.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/23 03:17 PM
11

Most everyone I know, get each other gifts and treat each other to various experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/23 02:12 PM
2

Nope! That is not 50/50 at all. We agree on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 06:50 PM
14

Well, when you are pregnant and recovering from childbirth, the father should generally step up and do more of the standard household tasks since you’re focusing so much on growing/taking care of baby. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t also have a role in caring for baby, but that’s what 50/50 actually looks like. A baby creates a lot more labor to be split up and, because of nature, a significant portion of that tends to be shouldered by the mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/23 01:37 PM
2

Well, as I said, I am 34, so if I were looking at someone who was also around that age, they conceivably could have had 10 committed relationships in their lifetime (let’s say 2 years each since they were in their mid-teens, on average). But, they could not have had 50 committed relationships. Having sex outside of committed relationships does not make you a bad person in any way, but it does mean you have a different approach to sex than I do, so we are likely (though not definitely) not a good…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 01:48 PM
17

I would feel equally about 10 men or 10 women, dom, sub, switch, or vanilla, if that’s what you’re asking. It does seem like kinda a lot to me, but I’m in my mid-30s, so it’s not actually that high of a number for an unmarried person at that age, I think. Now, let’s say we were talking, everything else being equal, a man who had had sex with 50 women or a man who had had sex with 10 men, the latter would be preferable as it seems like we have more of a similar view on sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 05:38 AM
4

My best friend of 27+ years is male. We’ve both had opportunities to date over the years, and we’ve even kissed a few times when we were young and single and both enjoyed it, but we also know each other well enough to know that neither of us is really what the other is looking for in a partner (and I don’t mean physically, because I think we both could be a match on that level). We are however, awesome friends. Because, friendship and life partnership are different types of relationships that wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 07:06 AM
8

I’m married now, but if someone asked me out before we developed a friendship, I was never interested. Frankly, they don’t know me well enough and I don’t know them to be truly attracted to anything beyond looks and assumptions. But, there are plenty of times I was completely un attracted to someone, started to develop a deep friendship, and then became attracted to them as a result.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 07:03 AM
2

Agree on all of the above!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 03:16 PM
2

I’m a South Asian woman in the U.S. and I’vw always been less interested in white men simply because they’re less likely to have a similar cultural background and values to me (I married a Latino man; his family and their values are similar to my family/values in many ways).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 05:15 AM
2

It’s not just women. Don’t marry a man who doesn’t cook or clean either. You don’t need the dead weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 07:45 PM
1

Now, compared to when? I was born in the late 80s and interracial relationship are way more common and accepted now than they were when I was growing up. I’m Asian married to a Latino man and many of my friends and cousins are similarly in mixed race/mixed religion marriages. And, notably, we very, very rarely get harassed for it or even have it mentioned at all. It’s just normal. That was not true even when I was a teen. I don’t really know what’s happening with teens or very young 20s folks no…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:17 AM
2

Who makes single moms? Deadbeat dads.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 03:02 PM
1

Hahahaha, so judging by the men my parents introduced me to through the modern arranged/introduced marriage process compared to the ones I dated on my own (and the man I eventually married), I am much better at not selecting assholes than they are. Even my dad told me on my wedding day that I got a much better match than he felt he ever could have found me.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 09:30 PM
1

Sure can. Hence my original comment that you’re describing a specific segment of women, or the average woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 01:36 AM
1

Dating women you openly loathe certainly wouldn’t make you a good man. But this is a strawman. Plenty of non-fat, non-ugly women don’t have an arbitrary cutoff of 80k salary or above for dating prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 01:13 AM
1

I mean, if you only desire women who have that as a key consideration, that says a lot more about you than about women overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/22 12:05 AM
5

“He’s a great cook” is perhaps one of the most common reasons I’ve heard from women about what attracted them to a particular man.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 11:25 PM
7

Right, I consider my husband my equal. He’s better than me at some things and I’m better then him at others, but on net we’re at the same level.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/22 11:23 PM
1

Ok? But that seems like a pretty small segment of women, overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/22 04:54 PM
5

Sounds like you’re not dating the right kind of girls for you then.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:51 AM
4

C — Hard pass in my book There’s nothing wrong with being the kind of person who has casual sex, but we clearly do not have the same values
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/22 02:48 AM
1

I can’t speak to that, but no. I’ve noticed it with women whom I would rate as more, less, and equally attractive to me. The difference was twofold: one, out of professional and intellectual respect for me, which they did not have for the other women (for example, they were not working in the same field as us) or two, because I tend to dress and act more modestly in certain (but not all) regards and expect a certain level of politeness and respect (with which I also treat other people)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/22 06:56 PM
3

Actually, I was almost 30 before I learned number 4. I was shocked by how many of the men who treated me very respectfully treated other women really quite grossly. It really blew my mind (and made me think so much less of them).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 03:08 AM
2

I mean, yeah, I agree. I’m just explaining to OP that the reason that post wouldn’t get a lot of matches isn’t because women hate people like that, or whatever, but because there’s only a few people who are going to see it who actually hit all the categories and want the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 12:02 PM
2

The number of matches would be tiny because the number of women who fit all those qualities and are looking for their match on OLD is tiny. Maybe being less forward would get you more matches, but they’d be less likely to be what you’re looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 12:55 AM
5

I think you’re confusing “cum during penetration” with “cum from penetration” The vast majority of women need direct clitoral contact to be able to cum.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 12:35 PM
8

If a man can virtually make a woman orgasm without penetrating her My man, the vast majority of women do not cum from penetration. We are not built to. It’s literally the “without penetrating” stuff that causes orgasm (though, obviously, there are ways to stimulate the clitoris during penetration as well) But, yeah, I’ve never personally had casual sex, but it really just doesn’t sound that great. Sex is wonderful when you’re in the right relationship with the right person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 04:28 AM
-3

I’m an “ethnic” woman, I guess (bro, we all have an ethnicity, even white people), and yeah, some white men are pretty hot; most, however, look like potatoes. And, well, their cultural values mostly don’t align with my own. Stop hating on yourself or your race. Lots of women are going to find you attractive; but that kind of self-hatred is a major turn-off.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 06:53 PM
11

Unfortunately, it’s a catch-22. I’m deliberately a lot less nice than I naturally would be and actively avoid giving compliments I otherwise would specifically because so many men, in my experience, interpret it as you coming onto them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 05:28 AM
1

I mean, personally I’d much rather date a virgin man than one who has had a bunch of one night stands.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 05:03 AM
4

Pretty common for me to develop a strong physical attraction to someone I wasn’t physically attracted to before as our friendship develops. The opposite—immediately losing attraction to someone I’d found extremely sexy because of something they do/say/think—is even more common.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 01:58 AM
5

There’s nothing wrong with men in their 20s being into women in their 20s ¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/22 01:39 AM
5

I met my husband through work. He admired my work ethic (amongst other things, obviously). We’ve been together over a decade (and very happy).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/22 11:57 AM
59

I mean, that’s not a nice thing to say, regardless of gender. Either person (the man or the woman doing the rejecting) sounds shallow and rude, honestly. You can turn down someone you’re not interested in without saying something like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/22 03:29 AM
3

Because what your describing is basically cold-calling relationships. How many times have you bought something from a telemarketer or a door-to-door salesperson. That’s essentially what some weirdo asking out someone they don’t even know is (except potentially more dangerous). You need to build up relationships and actually like each other as people before you go on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/22 03:22 PM
1

It’s not a carrot on a stick. There’s nothing wrong with having sex, nor should it be a punishment or a reward. But, it’s perfectly reasonable not to want to get potentially baby-trapped by some guy who’s pretending to be a good partner for you in order to have sex, when he’s not. Waiting until you’re in a committed relationship and know that you would be a good fit if a baby were to happen is a perfectly reasonable approach to heterosexual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/22 05:59 PM
1

I’m in my 30s and I haven’t even fucked 5 men! Could I conceivably have slept with 50 guys? Sure, if I slept with every person I had the opportunity to sleep with, I could easily hit that number within a year. But the vast, vast, vast majority of men I meet are simply not up to my standards for sex. I don’t think I’m unique in that at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:17 AM
1

Dario, because he seems to have a similar approach to me. To add fuel to the fire, fuckboys are w hard pass from me always.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/22 04:11 AM
2

I mean, personally I never hooked up with any man I didn’t know would be decent husband (or at least co-parenting material). Didn’t want to get baby trapped by some loser. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 06:30 PM
3

Ok, but they’re taking paternity tests because they already don’t believe the child is theirs. There is a major selection bias there (and it’s a relatively low percent of failed tests considering that 70-80%—your numbers—of children suspected of not being biologically the father’s and thus being tested ARE in fact his).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 02:58 PM
3

I mean, is that really what they want? Because that would mean a lot of these men end up with a much less attractive woman than they might in the scenario described above. Does a guy who is a 3 really just want to be with women who are 3s?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 02:42 PM
14

Ok. But it sounds like they don’t want women to have sex before marriage? So then no ONS for Bob or Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/22 02:12 PM
3

The fact that living together is a key factor speaks to me. Could it be that, when couples live together, there’s a higher likelihood of resentment growing because one half (likely the women) feels the other half isn’t doing enough cleaning, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:17 PM
2

This is it exactly. Doing chores isn’t a turn-on. But, refusing to do chores is a turn-off. A dirty home is a turn-off. Being exhausted is a turn-off. Feeling your partner doesn’t respect or value you enough to pull their weight is a major turn-off.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:05 PM
3

It’s not weaponized; it’s attraction. Why would you be sexually attracted to someone who treats you like a maid and can’t even clean up after themselves? It feels disrespectful and like they don’t care about or value you. Plus, a dirty home is stressful and unpleasant, which makes it hard to be horny.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/22 02:00 PM
1

I’m not saying looks don’t matter at all, but they’re a pretty small aspect of what makes someone an attractive partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/22 01:52 AM
0

I mean, if that matter to you a lot, sure, I guess. But, honestly, as long as every is respectful and caring to each other, who cares? It makes sense that you’d all be similar people with a lot in common.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 05:13 AM
1

What if your partner is friends with them too?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 03:56 AM
0

All my relationships have started as friendships and several of them of them have stayed friendships after we broke up. Obviously not the case of there was mistreatment or bad behavior, but sometimes you just don’t want the same things out of life or aren’t compatible in the way you need to be for a really solid marriage, but still like and respect each other a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 03:54 AM
1

It depends, but probably the 45 year old with the 20 year old. The 16 year old is probably too young for the 20 year old, but they could quite reasonably be in the same stage of life—they could even be students together in high school or college! And, as they get older, that age gap will become essentially meaningless. A 45 year old, however, is more than old enough to be the 20 year old’s parent. They shouldn’t be in the same stage of life, and if they are, there’s probably something wrong. Plu…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 03:49 AM
3

I’m not saying that at all. I’m saying the issue is when, if she’s not interested in dating, he suddenly doesn’t want to be friends. Or, if his “friendship” is just an attempt to seduce her, rather than being friends first and having something grow out of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 01:00 PM
3

I don’t know. All my relationships have started as friendships and grown from there. Many of them have remained good friendships years later when we’re all married (not to each other).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 03:55 AM
10

It depends on whether you actually want a friendship or not., I’d say. Personally, I’ve only ever dated people who were my friends first: knowing them in that way is what caused me to develop an attraction to them. But, there’s a huge difference between only wanting to be “friends” as a stepping stone to potential sex/romance and actually valuing them as a friend, regardless of whether something more happens or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/22 03:52 AM
34

There’s a difference between romance growing out of close friendship and pretending to want a friendship when you actually just want sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 08:07 PM
1

Look, I couldn’t care less about someone’s porn-watching habits, but I don’t think the unrealistic aspects that are being referred to are women’s perceived attractiveness: it’s that the sex acts in porn are filmed at angles designed for the camera lens, not for pleasure, and frequently require a lot of behind the scenes prep. In other words, the specific sex acts are unrealistic because they’re about creating a visual fantasy instead of being reflective of what mutually enjoyable sex actually lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:25 AM
1

Every woman I’ve been with Sounds like selection bias. I’m a woman who runs in fairly intellectual circles. It’s definitely a major thing women in my circles tend to care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/21 10:03 PM
6

Yup, exactly. I’ve never had sex with a man I wasn’t completely ok with raising children with because the chance is always there. I wouldn’t have approached it any differently if I were a man. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/21 02:56 AM
3

This is such a great point: my feelings about physical attractiveness have always been shaped by the whole package. There have been so many times I thought someone was super hot and then they said or did something that revealed a values mismatch and I lost all attraction to them physically. The reverse is also true: I have always been increasingly physically attracted the more I like someone’s personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 07:05 PM
1

I guess personality, because looks change but personality and values is what relationships are built on. But, honestly, I wouldn’t settle for either. There are so many people in the world, why waste your life with someone who sees you as less than?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/21 07:03 PM
2

Man will take a bullet for his wife That’s a very convenient promise that the vast majority will never have to actually fulfill, compared to, you know, doing their fair share of daily labor every household has to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/21 02:37 PM
2

Everyone is entitled to be as selective (or not) about whom they choose to marry or share their body with. No one is entitled to a partner, however, and the more selective you are, the fewer available options there will be.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/21 02:07 PM
2

I mean, definitely some people are. (I’m in the professional world, by the way, so my peer group ranges largely from 23-45). And, if anything, a larger ratio of single 30- and 40-somethings are interested in casual sex than single 20-somethings (since the ones who want LTRs get married and self-select out). But, you’re missing my point, women in the professional world who have already finished college are averaging in the N-2 to N-5 range, with some going higher (again the ones who are intereste…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 03:33 PM
1

I’m not talking about in college but in general. I’m in my 30s, the women I’m talking about have mostly finished college
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 01:25 PM
1

Definitely B. A sounds awful to me, personally
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 04:40 AM
1

Eh, there’s a pretty wide spectrum between celibacy and PIV sex. Do I think most women have made out with 20+ men? Probably? Do I think they’ve fucked them? Depends on the woman, but probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 02:27 AM
5

With the caveat that I have never seen nor read this FDS guide you’re talking about, I would definitely consider spending time with family and doing his fair share of domestic and childcare labor necessary qualities of a high value man. Granted, I’m not interested in a total mooch, but I’ve also never expected a man to provide for me; as long as he’s contributing equally to the partnership (which could even mean being an active stay at home parent), I would consider that high value.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 09:35 PM
13

Lol, I went to a college with clothing optional, all gender housing. I’m usually the person everyone confides their secrets in. I’m definitely not a prude. Women just aren’t having as much no-strings-attached sex as you seem to think they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 12:39 PM
8

Exactly. I don’t know him well enough; why would I sleep with him?? And, lots of physically hot guys turn out to be hideously unattractive once you get to know them a little better. It’s the personality and values that really count, and it takes a while to really get to know those (and not just what they’re projecting for everyone to see).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:31 AM
13

I still don’t think sex on the first or the second date is the norm outside of pop culture and Internet board fantasies. There are some people having one night stands, sure, but probably 1 in 20 or so women I know would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/21 11:23 AM
2

At that amount I’d consider it....but I’m still not sure if passes my risk assessment. For example, if it’s a one time payment, but I end up with a kid out of it, I’ll be using all that money up in under a year easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:51 AM
2

Yeah, I probably would, but I also think I would be unlikely to be offered an amount large enough to be worth it for me. As for what that amount would be, I would really have to factor in a variety of factors, including potential for pregnancy, other health risks, possible career impacts/impacts on my future earning potential.... Hence why it most likely would not be worth it to me at a price point that would likely to worth it to a potential customer.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:39 AM
10

But isn’t the first part of your complaint that women are reluctant to put themselves in vulnerable positions with “normal men who mean no harm” (because they don’t actually know for sure that it’s not going to turn into a “bad situation”)?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 03:30 AM
4

As a woman, I’ve honestly never understood the appeal of casual ONS sex with a man unless you’re getting paid. The risk is high and the reward is statistically low.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/21 01:55 AM
3

Honestly, I really would not want either. I’m not interested in unequal power dynamics; I want a partnership of equals. My husband, for what it matters, is a few hours older than me, and I make almost double his annual income. If he suddenly caught up to me or started making even more, I’d be thrilled (minus the tax bump, lol), but we’re doing ok and are fairly comfortable now. We both do about roughly equal amounts of domestic labor. I’m very, very pregnant right now (so he’s actually doing mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 12:48 PM
1

Mostly, no? Like, attractiveness is good, but I’m not really that attracted to most people who are more than a few years older or younger than me. It just feels weird. Plus, I’d want my partner to share a cultural base with me—relate to the same things as I do—and the bigger the age difference the less likely that is to happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/21 12:36 PM
8

Apparently I’m a man, then. Someone should tell my husband. 🤣 I can make my own adventure and excitement (and money, for what it’s worth). From my partner, I want stability, loyalty, friendship, and a trustworthy domestic partner to share in the mundanities of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/21 12:59 PM
4

The average man doesn’t want to get married in his early 20s either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 04:22 PM
2

I think it’s because the average woman puts a lot more time and effort into her appearance than the average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 03:32 PM
2

This rings true to me. Despite what I keep hearing on this board and in other online conversations, while I do know a few women with relatively high numbers of sexual partners, the vast majority (and I’m in my 30s) have less than ten—many have just two to three.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 02:29 PM
5

Men are still overwhelmingly the ones who propose (often because they prefer to be the ones who propose), so they are definitely also playing a role in when in a relationship marriage happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 12:26 PM
13

The men who are looking for that specifically are the men who have no respect for women whatsoever, which is why they want a young, inexperienced, submissive woman to control
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 02:34 AM
9

Relationships are a lot less transactional in the modern world where most couples can choose their partner and there’s no gender limits on who can own property or have a job like there used to be. Even in the 70s, women couldn’t get a credit card or apply for a loan without a male co-signer (in the U.S.). That made the desire for a relationship much more transactional.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 02:17 PM
3

If anything, I think men and women speak much more of the same language now than in previous eras when gender divides were much more rigid.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 02:04 AM
3

It depends on whether those men are going to be willing to take on the majority of domestic labor and childcare (and whether the women actually believe this will happen) or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/21 12:44 AM
1

Nah. Definitely people I found actively ugly till we developed a good enough friendship, found enough mutual interests, and then started a flirtation. And, all of sudden traits I previously found unattractive are kind of cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/21 04:11 AM
17

I disagree. I’ve become physically attracted any number of times to people who I’d originally classed as unattractive or ugly because I liked their ideas or personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/21 06:15 PM
1

Honestly, I think it really depends what you are looking for. If you want a one night stand, a bar might be a good option. If you’re looking for a relationship, you really do need to expand your circle of friendships amongst like-minded people, which means getting involved in more activities, volunteering, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/21 05:51 PM
1

I mentioned it as a possible exception for what I would consider a committed relationship even if the couple had only technically been together for a few months. The mindset and seriousness of the relationship would notably be different than if they were simply dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 11:36 PM
3

Honestly, I’d be far more inclined to date a 30 year old who had not been in a relationship, or had only been in one or two, than one who had been in ten relatively short-lived (under a year) relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 09:58 PM
1

I would not consider a year a long-term relationship. Frankly, I wouldn’t consider someone to really be “in a relationship” (maybe just dating) until at least a year together, unless they’re married (e.g. an arranged marriage where they married without dating).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 09:53 PM
1

Lol, definitely not. This isn’t a dealbreaker for me, but would far prefer a male partner with fewer (or no) partners than one with many. The latter is fine, of course, but it sounds like they don’t view sex in the same way I do, so they’re probably not a good fit for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/21 09:51 PM
1

It depends. All of my relationships have, and I think the best relationships do. But, most relationships as a whole probably don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/21 12:10 AM
12

Nailed it. Enforced monogamy is a communistic, centrally controlled approach to sex, love, and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/21 04:10 PM
1

A sex worker friend once mentioned that you should put lube both inside and outside the condom to make it pleasurable. Maybe try that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 06:24 PM
6

Because (penis-in-vagina penetrative) sex is not pleasurable unless you’re extremely aroused. It’s painful, unpleasant, and potentially traumatic, which creates emotional barriers that make it harder to get aroused in the future
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/21 06:17 PM
1

So like, do they get married? Should they be legally forced to get married, or is more of a moral compunction? If not, Is custody 50/50 by default? Do both parents have the same expectation of time investment? What about financial investment? To what degree are these things socially enforced versus legally enforced?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/21 02:08 PM
1

Right, but, I’m curious about your view on this. Are both parties now parents? Is there a difference in commitment level?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 06:00 PM
6

What happens if the birth control fails?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/21 01:33 PM
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