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ideliver22 Archive

View 0 posts and 98 comments by ideliver22 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Many states - like Ohio where I live, all judges are elected
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 12:25 AM
2

Your 15 year old son wanted to move? When my wife I divorced, my 3 teen and college aged boys moved in with me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 12:17 AM
9

She’s moving in silence and violence. Get ready
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 04:15 PM
12

Not your monkey. Not your circus. Be the stable and consistent one in your children’s lives. Play the long game and be the parent your kids need
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 02:35 PM
3

Badger her for the money or file for contempt
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 04:24 PM
5

Because “we” were a family unit. Because “we” built a life together. Because it was “ours.” Every asset accumulated in our marriage was acquired by my income. So, post divorce me thinks it’s mine, but clearly she was legally entitled to half. When you’re 24 years old - you’re not planning for divorce. And until my last year of marriage- I would have never guessed I would divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 05:01 PM
1

Her name was on the house, she was an officer of the business. And the commercial property was exclusively in her name. And in my state - with a legal separation- you are still married and accruing time for spousal support. So when she files for divorce- you go through the entire process again.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 03:05 PM
4

Please do tell me the error of my ways! We owned a home together. I have commercial real estate. I have a business. I have a large retirement. I have a large income. Married 24 years when divorced. Can’t move my home, real estate, business or retirement “off shore”. I make a lot of income, and won’t stop working. We negotiated a spousal support that in hindsight was really cheap me for me. She could have hired a forensic account to value my practice (she didn’t) I could go on. But I’d love to le…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 02:50 PM
3

My divorce cost me almost $2.5M at age 48. It sucks. But for me it was worth it. Alternatively- just tell her you’re unhappy and see if she’ll go for a DADT relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 01:11 PM
2

Control the outcome. How much is the 10% difference? Personally, I wouldn’t give the legal profession in your situation another dime. Settle and move one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 01:22 AM
16

What about when your ex-wife gets a job? Stay 50/50 and get childcare. My kids were freshmen in HS (twins) and freshman in college. We were 50/50. In reality it was 95/5 my favor. And the college one lived me full time when not in school and during Covid because they went remote. You’ve got a long time and need to make this work for you in the long run. Kids need a father as much as a mother
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 12:06 AM
3

It’s time for the “talk.” She may go for a dissolution and you two can work out the particulars. It’s really just a business transaction. I would not wait another year. You are entitled to CS and alimony. When i divorced in 2018 my kids were the same ages. We did 50/50 but my boys stayed with me. I’m a physician and she’s a SAHM and through they would stay with her. They didn’t. I’m The opposite of the “Disney” dad. Kids need structure. That being said - file now. Why wait? Don’t spend another y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 04:01 AM
1

Easy. She owes you $250,000 equity from the house. She pays with with the split from the retirement or some other asset. Say, there’s 1M in retirement. $500k each. She pays you with the retirement split. So in this example, you would have $750 in retirement and she would have $250 at the end.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:47 AM
4

It’s really easy. Divide by 2. Home with $500,000 in equity equals $250 K each. Retirement plan with 1 million total, $500 K each From there it just becomes horse trading.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 10:05 PM
0

Interesting. Here’s my take. Once she lived in the house, it became 50% hers. Let’s say you paid $200k with $50k down payment. Let’s say the house is worth $300k today and has a $50 balance on the mortgage. Her position is $300 - $50 - $50 = $200/2 = $100. If you were to sell it today, she gets $100k, you get $150 and the bank gets $50.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 01:03 AM
1

This is the most correct answer. Time to let some shit go.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 06:29 PM
2

She’s no longer your friend. You may co-parent together and be civil, but that ship has sailed and sunk
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 04:34 PM
3

Stopped reading at dead bead room and mutual resentment. You two need to divorce
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 06:06 AM
4

Nope nope aaaand nope.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 11:55 AM
9

You can but why? And if she knows where you work she will just have you served there. If it’s an uncontested divorce then why hide from it?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 11:37 PM
1

The best guess will be from your lawyer that knows your judge. That being said, I can’t imagine a judge looking favorably on a person that takes the kids for 4 months away from the other parent and residential home.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 06:46 PM
11

“Don't you know Bad Boys move in silence and violence?” Biggie Say nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 11:08 AM
1

Stealing this!
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 01:47 PM
7

Your affair partner is not your "soul mate." That's just new relationship energy, not love. The affair was a symptom of a larger problem that you should figure out. This will take time and counselling. Please don't advance this other relationship. You need time to grieve the loss of your marriage. The disruption to your child's "family." You just need time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 04:17 AM
2

Do you tell her where she needs to improve??
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 04:16 PM
8

She’s a cake eater. And probably never stopped the affair. Plan your exit in silence. She’s learned how to dissociate from you when she’s with him. And she’s very good at compartmentalization. Take some lessons from her. Be pleasant and kind and supportive. And I’m the background start getting your ducks in a row. You never suspected her affair. She’ll never suspect the divorce until she’s served at work.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:23 AM
24

Yes. You’re having the EXACT response she wanted. She wanted you to find them and piss you off. She’s actively trying to hurt you. Now you who and what she is. “Don’t you know bad boys move in silence and violence” - Biggie. Say nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 11:39 PM
5

Alex, I’ll take “Things that are not my problem” for $1000.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 03:24 PM
123

Show me a hot woman. And I’ll show you a man that’s tired of $&&@ing her She’s not your problem anymore
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 02:07 PM
5

The day you leave, you cancel the accounts. The rest is her problem. She’s probably intelligent enough to figure it out. Sitting in the dark tends to motivate people. Setting it up for her - don’t do it. That’s a boundary that doesn’t gets crossed
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 11:00 AM
0

start with this
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 01:08 AM
17

It will take a solid year. I was a co-dependent mess. When I finally left. It took some rear traumatic shit to happen - but when I finally did it - I started to heal. No alcohol Go to the gym and lift. Not cardio - lift heavy Get in weekly therapy- even online if you have to Prayer/meditation/yoga Focus on sleep Talk to no one about your problems. That’s what your therapist is for. No one cares about your problems and half of the people are glad you have them No contact unless it’s about the kid…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/23 12:17 AM
5

What she wants and what she gets are 2 separate things? How long was the marriage? Any common children? Was the house purchased prior to the marriage? Need some details
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 02:18 AM
3

I did not do a lump sum. Here’s the main reasons why. If I get permanently disabled - she still has my money. Money that I could have used. And I’m my separation agreement - the only way the support amount gets changed is if I become disabled If I die prematurely- she has the money, not my estate In my agreement- she can’t cohabitate or remarry. If she does, the alimony ends. So, if she meets someone and wants to marry - she’s free to but that’s a win for me. The point being, you never really kn…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 12:37 AM
2

He’s an “anti-capitalist” but pissed because the fruits of his labor was “taken” in his divorce. Naw- you just payed your fair share. Which in case you haven’t noticed - is never enough for women and the government. I say this peace and love.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 02:33 PM
11

Once they start having children- 95% want to stay home or at least work much less. Kids become their priority
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 12:18 PM
3

It passes the bar exam in the top 10%
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 02:39 PM
1

Why do you not have joint accounts? Or is she a “What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine kind of person?”
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 01:17 PM
4

I divorced in 2018. The 2017 GOP tax overhaul eliminates the deduction for alimony payments in divorce agreements entered into after Dec. 31, 2018. In my case, it’s a deduction for me. Income for her and she has to pay estimated quarterlies. I told her prior that was going to happen. She mistakenly thought the law has already taken affect. But this time in our relationship, I stopped arguing with her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:49 PM
6

Nope. My ex is pissed because she has to pay tax on the spousal support. Like it’s my fault!
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:37 PM
7

I’m 6k/mo for 10 years. We have been divorced 5 years now. I was making 350k at the time of divorce. Made $975 this year. It sucks balls. I get it. But it can get better. Stay the course. Work on yourself. The best revenge is to live a wonderful life without her.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 11:18 PM
2

Gotcha. You should be pretty good at putting a value on it. I have an real estate LLC that I traded her position for my position in our home. I kept the rentals. She kept the house. I also had a my business that she basically left alone. She was in the affair fog and wanted things done quickly. My argument was it was worthless because the day I stop working, was the day it’s value is zero. She agreed. We split the retirement plan and cash 50/50
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 12:13 AM
2

I’d done even know what that means. Lol. Seriously, what has the discussion been around the entity to date? Me, my position would be that the business has no value. You just own your job. Therefore there’s no assets to split. If they push the issue, leave it as it is, and just open a new LLC or just open a new bank account as a DBA. The LLC probably wasnt giving you any real benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 11:29 PM
5

IANAL. She owns half of your LLC. What advice have you received to date? You will need to buy her out of your LLC if you want it to continue to operate or if it has assets, trucks, tools, property, anything of value. This price is negotiated like everything else. However, if there’s no assets, you could stop using that LLC. What’s your profession? I’d bet you may be better served just working as a DBA. Just a thought.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/23 11:22 PM
5

Dude. What the fuck? She’s got to go. And medical debt? That’s no reason to stay roommates with someone you divorced. Medical debt is not like a credit car or loan. You didn’t borrow money. It doesn’t adversely affect your credit - because again you didn’t borrow money. Also, it’s all negotiable. And if it’s to a hospital, they’ve written it off by now. You should pay your bills, but this isn’t the IRS you owe money to. Source: I’m a physician.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 07:20 PM
1

But you’re still accruing time for the eventual alimony. You’re still legally married potentially liable if she’s sued. It’s being penny wise and pound foolish. You do realize that you are still legally married after a separation. Good luck moving on with your life after that. And she can be your insurance. And you can file taxes jointly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:47 PM
1

I’d you think you can’t afford it now. Wait until later. And whether you know it or not, you’re the one paying for the $100,000 surgery. If you file tomorrow, that’s on her. Anything cheap is expensive in the long run
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:31 PM
1

You’re still accruing time in the marriage. And extending alimony. If you want to separate- just divorce. There’s no reason in my mind for a separation
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 08:17 PM
3

100%. Not 99. And I would strongly suggest telling him with your wife together.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 11:20 PM
4

Ageeed. As a male OB-GYN I’ve been subjected to sexism my entire career. “But it’s not sexism, it’s a preference.” 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/23 11:14 PM
14

You need a lawyer. She’s already playing really really dirty.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 02:16 AM
1

After her visit to the lawyer she’ll get a dose of reality. With a 4 year marriage there’s likely to be no spousal support. Asserts and debts get split 50/50. It sounds like selling the house gets you both debt free and both get to make a clean break and fresh start. No one wants to be told what to do….especially the person you are divorcing
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/23 08:59 PM
3

Best divorce post I’ve ever read. Gentlemen...he’s the guide. Do this and you’ll be ok
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/20 05:06 AM
9

Ugh. I resemble that story.
/r/MGTOW31/01/20 03:44 AM
61

I think a lot of us do
/r/MGTOW27/01/20 06:26 PM
2

And has a wedding ring
/r/MGTOW26/01/20 05:15 AM
14

Or just get the gold Rolex Daytona that will last a generation
/r/MGTOW11/01/20 03:57 PM
3

And then she takes $1.4 mil...
/r/MGTOW27/12/19 03:03 PM
2

I can’t get past the bad grammar.
/r/MGTOW23/12/19 03:49 AM
17

First time is a mistake, second time is a choice. And the third time is a lifestyle
/r/MGTOW17/12/19 01:52 PM
5

Child support and spousal support. Genders don’t matter....and get on a written budget. Every last dollar needs to be accounted for.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/19 05:29 PM
1

Naw...E46 M3 vert. Clean examples can be had for next to nothing. Hell, I’ve got a garage queen E60 M5 that I couldn’t give away.
/r/MGTOW25/11/19 07:18 PM
3

Married 3 years....unless you hit the lotto while you were married....she's ONLY getting child support. Otherwise, you guys are pretty much walking away with what you walked in with. Did she work prior to the marriage or have any employment history? Is there any reason why she can't work? All of these issues are going to be addressed. I just ran a quick child support calc with a generic $75k income for you and $0 for her...about $1300/mo.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/19 02:49 AM
10

Source: Been divorced in Ohio It will generally vary county by county, and sometimes judge to judge. Everything that you brought to the marriage is yours. Everything that you inherited is yours. Everything that was acquired during the marriage (assets and debts) is split 50/50 including any retirement plans. In my county, the default custody agreement is 50/50. Child support is a simple online calculation, her not working may be a bit expensive. In general, 1 year of spousal support is paid for …
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/19 01:50 AM
2

In Ohio, if you have a “legal separation” you are technically still married for spousal support consideration. For example, OP is married 10 years, in my county, he would be required to pay spousal support for 3 years (1 year for every 3 years of marriage.). With a legal separation, the clock keeps ticking, so that when he finally divorces 5 years later (because he wants to be with a better woman and she doesn’t want him tied to some other woman) he will now pay 5 years of support after the fina…
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/19 01:04 PM
8

Get your use of the retainer. Have her draft a complete separation agreement and if kids a custody order. At least make her work for your money.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/19 03:39 AM
2

Ok...it sounds likehe has 100% custody
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/19 12:06 PM
1

If your ex is still in medical school, she’s obviously very busy with her education and will have very little time for child rearing. There’s no way she could do 50/50 physical custody. No way. She’s making no money at all during this time. She may be moving upon completion of medical school for her residency. Not good for the kid as he/she needs stability. Next, if she’s in residency, she’s working 80 hours a week. She’ll be making about $70k a year. But again, there’s no way she’s raising a ki…
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/19 11:44 AM
1

Read my post history. Pretty similar. Go no contact. It’s the only way. But since you have kids you’ll use it or of the contact called the gray rock method. Please read about it It’s called “trauma bonding.” It’s how kidnap victims begin to identify with their abusers. Abused dogs still love their owners. She’s abusing you. She is continuing to manipulate and abuse you. You’ll have to cut all communication (except for the kids). And, plenty of women know how to fuck. And many have kids and messy…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/19 09:30 PM
11

You caught her in the “affair fog.” It’s just like being on drugs.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/19 12:05 PM
3

I can only imagine. 😤 I feel for you. One word...nightmare
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/19 05:23 AM
3

Omg....run the fuck away! I feel for you....coparenting with her will be impossible!! She believes is magic and unicorns🤔. Unreal
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/19 07:31 PM
2

Your separation agreement should have the holidays spelled out clearly. And for Christmas it should be one house for Christmas Eve and the other for Christmas Day. Kids need two parents - married or not. Be there for your children
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 03:45 PM
22

Not sure you want to hear this...don’t be surprised if there is someone else
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/19 12:27 PM
2

Wow. Just wow. This really sucks. What kind of mother keeps her kids from the father. I moved out while she was cheating...I wasn’t living in the house with that cheating whore....so I did the “wrong thing.” I moved in with my mother to save money...went to my house every morning to make breakfast for the kids and take one to school. I had them over my mom’s house in the evenings for dinner and they would stay with me here on the weekends. It’s just beyond stupid that any judge or court would ke…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/19 12:22 PM
8

Your gut is correct in all counts. Stay in the house, she can move to the couch or other room. So what if you “piss her off,” it’s not like she’s doing you any favors right now. She’s telling you what and how this divorce is going to go down? Say sure...we can do this on our own. Add up the assists and liabilities - divide by 2. Divide the equity in the house by 2 Shared parenting plan with 50/50 State formula for child support Spousal support is negotiated. Be ready to discover she’s been seein…
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/19 03:35 PM
4

No contact. It’s the only way. Since you have a kid together, it’s “grey rock” for you. Google it and live it. Don’t walk...run. And learn about narcissistic abuse. Love bombing etc...
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/19 12:07 AM
2

I have no words. I can’t even imagine your frustration. In my area...judges are elected and if their dockets were this far behind...I would hope they would never get re-elected. In my area, we signed the separation agreement in late July, final hearing was scheduled for mid September which I had to reschedule. Final hearing was October 24th. Dissolution, not divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/19 03:45 AM
3

wait? what? It's been almost a year since your trial with no verdict??? Even the SCOTUS only take 6 to 9 months to rule on a case...
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/19 05:16 AM
1

Not sure of your ability to keep earning like that, but I pay similar. For me....it’s worth it I’m so much better off and happier. I really am. Don’t get me wrong...signing over half my cash was brutal and writing that check every month sucks balls. But, in the end, I sleep well. Your only chance is to get her to go for a dissolution and hope she doesn’t get a lawyer. Make the terms reasonable, lower the monthly support amounts and pray she goes for it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/19 11:50 AM
2

The last thing you need in your life is another woman.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/19 08:54 PM
1

She’s definitely checked out...sounds like she may be cheating too. Time will tell
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 10:32 PM
3

In my state, when you do a “legal separation” you are still married and the clock is still ticking for spousal support. So, unless she makes more money than you...I wouldn’t even consider. What’s even the point? But yes, being out of the house with a serial liar and cheater is better than living with them
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/19 11:02 AM
1

This is a no brainer...divorce and move out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/19 07:47 PM
2

Ahhhh. The old “double dipping.” Yeah...this is one for the lawyer. Short expense, long term gain
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/19 04:37 AM
2

CS is for the benefit of the child. It’s your child. I would pay the CS and fight for full custody. In my county...unless you’re an asshat...you would get shared parenting with 50% custody. She sounds unstable. Fight for the other 50%. You’ve got nothing too loose but money...and you’ll make more
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/19 02:44 AM
2

I am not a lawyer, and it may very well be state specific, but as someone that is relatively newly divorced...I think that generally everything you come into marriage with (assets and liabilities), you will leave with. That was her debt, not marital debt...so it’s hers. Now, if she ran an AMEX up to $50k while married...half of that is yours
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/19 08:57 PM
2

Does her student loan debt predate the marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/19 05:46 PM
3

I’m a year and half out from moving out, 8 months post divorce. It gets better. I hope this helps
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/19 12:53 AM
8

I’ve been you, with 3 kids and 24 years of marriage. Please read chumplady.com I can’t emphasize that enough. Please take care of yourself. No drugs, no alcohol. Just go to the gym and work it out there. No decisions are to be made. Do you have kids? Here’s what you do. If you have kids....DO NOT leave the home. Move into the basement or a spare room. Do not speak a single word to her unless it’s about the kids. Not one word. She’s free to leave the home and go wherever, it don’t you leave. Get …
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/19 12:26 PM
8

Actions speak louder than words...
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/19 07:10 PM
2

If that money was accumulated during the marriage, it’s a marital asset. If it was accumulated prior to the marriage or from an inheritance, it should be safe. Also, if she’s earning income, you may be owed spousal support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/19 12:11 PM
2

Most states have child support calculators online. Google your state child support calculator and it’s just plug in the numbers. Depending on your respective incomes - yes.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/19 12:58 PM
1

Two thoughts. I’m paying spousal support for 10 years so I feel your pain. We did a dissolution and my spousal support ends on my death, her remarriage or her co-habitation. It gets modified if my income drops below x dollars. I made a bet that one of those 4 things will happen in the next ten years. Second, I considered a lump sum payment too, but would have needed to see a reduction in the total amount paid. Meaning, if she’s due X dollars over the 10 years...I wasn’t going to her X dollars bu…
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/19 09:37 PM
5

Are you in an ‘at fault state?’
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/19 12:41 PM
2

Baller move Have her go back to work. Tell her she’s done a wonderful job being the primary caregiver for the first 10 years of their life. Tell her you really want to be an involved SAHD and besides...she can make more money than you. Have her get a better paying job than yours. Quit your job. Stay home with the kids. Then file. You’ll get child support and alimony and won’t have to work. Please don’t take this as real advice....it’s just a fantasy
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/19 05:12 PM
8

Yep. Went and bought my own home. The kids stay with me now. It was just a home I moved out of. The new home for me...was symbolic of a new beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/19 04:27 PM
1

That room she’s in 😳. I’d have a nervous breakdown in there...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/19 03:39 PM
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