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idontlikecockroaches Archive

View 2 posts and 80 comments by idontlikecockroaches on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Yes, this makes so much sense!!! One of the main things he mentions is he likes confidence. I feel that maybe when I showed my insecure side (which is my number one negative trait and I am aware that I need to work on it), it made him feel less secure as well. I think he was going partially off of my confidence as well (sometimes when he would initiate I could feel slight hesitation from him but wasn’t sure what to do). I think maybe he was hoping for me to be more confident, warm, and enthusias…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 02:48 AM
1

I will look into both of these!! Thank you so much!!! Yes, I am working on finding my own peace again so that I will be able to receive this when the time is right. Thank you so much, again these are really kind and uplifting words
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/24 12:08 AM
2

I love this response! Thinking about older, graceful women now and one of the first that came to mind was Audrey Hepburn. She was physically gorgeous when she was young, but when she aged she still had this beauty about her, maybe her inner light and kindness
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/24 07:42 AM
1

Thank you so much 💗 I need to keep repeating this to myself: He was not the one for me. Plus, what each person likes in the bedroom is different. I expected the two of us to learn and grow together but that didn’t happen.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 02:44 AM
2

Thank you so much. I’m so sorry that happened to you but it sounds like things are so much better now! I am hoping for the best. Definitely planning on getting out into the world and meeting new people once I’m healed from this. Definitely not being the chill girl anymore - I will be making my boundaries known!
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 03:19 AM
1

Can you give me some tips on how to maximize my RMV value and test there quality of the man?
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/24 03:16 AM
2

Thank you sis, I appreciate this. I have decided I need to work on myself and my own boundaries and self confidence, so that next time I enter a relationship I will be clear about this from the get go.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/24 08:57 PM
2

I love this so much, thank you!! I am 100% going to do all of this. Not hopping back into a relationship and I think I’d really like to focus on and love myself 100% this next year. Yes that’s guy I was dating was definitely confused and unsure of what he wanted. It sucks because he didn’t seem that way at all in the beginning. But it is what it is. I’ll raise my vibe and focus on my goals and the things that make me happy, and when I’m ready to start dating seriously again, I’ll be feminine but…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 03:06 PM
1

Yes of course :) I agree, I am one of many
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 04:58 PM
1

I would be down! But I am super new here and to be honest I don’t know if all of my ideologies fit into RedPill. I am actually fairly liberal (please don’t kill me), and while I’m new to RedPillWomen I do agree and have always agreed with the idea of being a traditional stay at home mom/wife.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 04:29 PM
0

That’s hilarious
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 09:21 PM
1

Thank you for the advice? Lol
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 09:21 PM
7

LOL
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 06:16 PM
18

Ugh I don’t know to be honest, I think all men are different. But my ex was very particular about blowjobs. Other guys they were more of a smaller event and PIV sex was the main course.
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 05:53 PM
1

To be honest, my first ex was my first everything. So I think there was the novelty of it that made it good. Also he knew what he wanted during sex, and wasn’t afraid to go for it. He was kinky, definitely kinkier than me, and he would always lead in the bedroom. Also, we were really young when we got together (I was 20 and a virgin). With my recent ex (second boyfriend). He had way more dating and relationship experience. I only had that one ex to go off of, and some experience (but not much) w…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 11:14 PM
2

Thank you so much. Yeah that is kind of what he said, too, that the special spark wasn’t there. I felt it, so it hurts that he said he didn’t. Yes, my first ex and I had really good sex. Unfortunately the relationship itself wasn’t the best, nothing in common, we would fight a lot, toxic. We probably stayed together so long because the sex.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 09:21 PM
2

No it was rejection, he would say he didn’t want to. And failure on his part for not communicating that’s how it made him feel. I was always up for sex.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 09:20 PM
1

Oops forgot to add, with the other long term partner it wasn’t passionless at all. Things were really fiery and kinky, he was great in bed and I think I was able to match his energy. Last partner was a lot better at leading and initiating than my most recent ex
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 07:54 PM
1

I don’t think the sex was passionless at all, he is very dominant so he would mostly take the lead. Additionally I would initiate a lot in the beginning, but he would turn me down after a while so I stopped doing it as much. To be honest though, I do not have much experience with partners for my age. I also grew up Catholic so I have a hard time being super sexual and flirty. It is something I am working on. But it was one of my main insecurities in the relationship so being turned down and reje…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 07:53 PM
12

I am following for advice from others. I feel like I was in a situation very recently where I thought the guy was more serious than he was. Everything seemed perfect and I thought we’d get married. Unfortunately when I tried to talk to him about the future, he broke up with me because he “wanted to date other people”. His reasoning for this was that he was getting bored of sex with me. I feel incredibly played and to be honest, the only way I can think of is to ask from the beginning if the man …
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 06:48 PM
1

Thank you so much. This is really sweet advice, I appreciate it. Yes I think I did put him on a pedestal, to be honest there are very few things I genuinely dislike about him which is why we felt like such a good match. But I will try to focus on his reason for wanting to breakup which was very very blunt and is tearing me apart. I do plan to focus on taking back my life, but I’m still definitely deep in the grieving period. I really want to get out of this headspace (I’m sure he has already), b…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 04:04 PM
1

How do I get a strong driven accomplished man to commit to me?
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 03:54 PM
6

To be honest, because I am anxiously attached, after I broke up with him I called and texted him incessantly. Is there any way to regain my dignity ? Thank you for the hope, I am trying to learn to let go and leave this to God/the Universe/whoever decides these things but that has been historically very hard for me and I probably need to work on it in therapy.
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 03:59 AM
1

What do you mean? Eg religious
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/24 01:07 AM
1

I am spiritual! I agree with you 100%! But question, when I am alone and single I love myself completely, feel confident, don’t feel the need for validation. When I get into a relationship however, once I am in love with them, what they say I feel is reflected back to me. Sometimes this makes me self conscious
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 10:57 PM
0

How can I become good at sex? I honestly thought that only a guy could be good at sex.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 10:55 PM
3

I’m thinking about the pushover part and oh my god, I think you are right. I am totally confident and independent and have high values up until the point where I fall for a guy. Then, because I love him, I am willing to let my own standards be pushed. Wow, I haven’t thought about it this way before. I always thought I was just being a good, understanding partner. Additionally, I would be a pushover in other ways - I started to live for his compliments. I felt like I wasn’t sexy enough for him so…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 09:38 PM
1

I did do that though, he said he loved having me around. The reason he supposedly (don’t know if he was pulling this out of his you know what or not) said he couldn’t commit was because the sex we had together wasn’t “ever great” for him. I don’t understand. Why would he have asked me to be in a relationship with him if the sex wasn’t good? Why didn’t he ever try to have an adult discussion with me?
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 09:28 PM
6

Thank you so much. Yes, I think my vetting process needs work. I also think I have to be more confident. I am a very confident person, it is only in relationships that I do not come accros as very confident. I have an anxious attachment style and have been working my whole life to fix it. We had this same fight last summer. He told me that he wasn’t ready for marriage. I should have left then and there. But I stayed because I thought that he meant that he wasn’t ready now, but would be one day. …
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 09:26 PM
3

Thank you, that makes me feel a lot better. I think he also might have had commitment issues and issues with intimacy, because he told me that he put up a wall in between us since middle of last year! Would have been nice if he reached out to me and tried to work through it instead. Thank you. I think foreign men are great as well, wouldn’t knock the idea at all. But I just want to make sure when I open my heart up again I don’t run the risk of being used.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 09:02 PM
1

I thought that I would get married to my partner from my first relationship - lost my virginity to him and everything. Unfortunately it turned out to be very emotionally unhealthy. I only have female friends right now. I don’t think any of my friends have brothers. The closest I can think of is maybe a friend of a friend. But a lot of my friends are foreign and so their friend groups are spread out. I am just so tired of dedicating so much to this effort.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 09:00 PM
3

Yeah my mom was telling me that. I think I just want to marry for love and that’s what I thought I had with this man, but apparently it’s not enough.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 08:34 PM
5

Incorrect I was actually in a really LTR from age 21-27. I am purposefully working to become independent.
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 08:34 PM
1

How do I do this?
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 08:33 PM
12

I made sure not to move in with him this time so I am happy about that. But yes, I will make sure to make my plans intentional. I am just really confused because I always thought that marriage is essentially the end game for most people, and with the right girl, it will happen. Stating it super early always felt frivolous when I knew we were both there for a LTR/serious relationship. I think it’s kind of implied that a successful LTR ends in marriage
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 08:33 PM
2

I don’t think so, I feel like I am very calm. My friends have always described me as calm and go with the flow. I was jealous and insecure in my early twenties when in my first relationship, but am not anymore. I just feel like I keep finding guys who seem like keepers, I fall for them, then they don’t want commitment. If anything, my biggest flaw is my anxious attachment style
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 08:31 PM
5

Body count is very low for my age, I have only been in two serious relationships and haven’t really had a crazy single era. Unfortunately my most recent ex seemed to act as if my low body count was a negative. I always felt less than when with him sexually because I wasn’t as experienced
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/24 08:29 PM
5

Thank you I needed this
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/23 09:14 PM
4

Oooh 100%, I have always felt kind of weird trying to be overtly sexy smh. I will end up turning it into a joke because I feel awkward.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 01:38 PM
2

Oh girl I am so sorry, that is beyond disrespectful and it seems like he just doesn’t get it. Joking that he’ll have sex with someone at work is not funny, that is extremely hurtful.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/23 06:47 PM
1

I am so sorry 😞❤️
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/23 04:44 PM
1

Thank you friend, I appreciate that. It sucks because I’m hyper aware of it but when I’m in that mindset it’s legit like a crazy person takes over. It blows tbh. It good to know that I’m making a bigger deal out of it and hurting myself in the long run. Because honestly I can’t tell when I’m in the drivers seat
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 08:03 PM
1

I’m going to go to my psychologist and tell her that I need more help. I think this is some deep rooted childhood bs that is coming out and is beyond my control. I’m not trying to hurt anyone
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 07:57 PM
3

Yeah you’re right, I’m realizing that this issue is all in my head and to be honest, it scares me
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 07:56 PM
1

Oof, yeah I should probably be on meds tbh lmao
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 07:55 PM
1

Haha that is good to hear! I think that makes sense because it won a contest. I guess guys must just think differently from girls. I feel neurotic haha. I appreciate your insight, it really helps to hear how little guys think of this stuff lol. Meanwhile I’m racking my brains out like a mad woman
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 07:53 PM
1

Haha thank you for the input 🙏
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 07:39 PM
2

Ooh thank you! I’m gonna get it asap 🤩
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 01:03 AM
1

Ooh I have the Empowered Wife, will have to get the Empowered Single. I thought that was for single women only but didn’t realize it referred to unmarried. Another book added to the list 👀
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 12:33 AM
1

Ahhh okay, thank you 🙏 never mind lol 😂
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 12:26 AM
3

I wish I could just give you a big hug because honestly, I sometimes feel this way too! I’ll stop and think to myself, “Does my guy realize what a catch he is,” and then worry that maybe I am not in his league. But I am quick to remind myself that as great of a guy as he is, I also have my own strengths and am awesome in my own right. Can you write down a list of your best traits? I think the whole “league” thing can be kind of stressful and dehumanizing. I think that if he wasn’t attracted to y…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 08:31 PM
0

Always love RPW book suggestions! Will read
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 08:23 PM
3

What is with all of these posts
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 08:22 PM
10

Hey girl, I am older than you (27) and have been dealing with insecurity in my romantic relationships since I was a little younger than you. I 100% get where you're coming from, and I know it's no fun. However, by tracking him, you are trying to ensure you have control. Something I have learned (well, still in the process of learning if you look at my most recent post) is that I have to give up this idea of having full control and replace it with trust. Now, I am not saying to ignore your gut or…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 08:17 PM
8

Oh man, I feel you. It's no fun to feel like the future is uncertain, especially when you've been in the relationship for 7 years already. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to want some more clarification on where the trajectory is headed. When does he graduate? Summer is only a few months away. It sounds like you're doing a great job working to make yourself the best version of you you could ever be, is there away way you could just put the whole idea of marriage/proposal out of your mind…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 08:10 PM
1

Thank you so much 🙏 I will. I am realizing i jump into things way too quickly when emotions are high and that doesn’t necessarily make the best partner. It screams immature. I will definitely take to him about how arguments have come about, I am doing a lot of reflecting!
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 07:47 PM
3

Hm I didn't even realize it was AI-generated. I thought they had pulled it from The Empowered Wife haha. Interesting.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 07:43 PM
1

If you are going into every conversation where you are upset LOOKING for a fight, we know. Wanted to follow up on this because I think it's really true. I don't think I necessarily begin these convo's, which eventually turn into fights, with that intention (who knows maybe subconsciously I do). However I know for a fact that when I go to him feeling anxious, insecure, upset, he can 100% sense it and I can tell he is getting nervous about a fight. I think this is another good example of why I nee…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 07:39 PM
2

Good insight here, thank you. Its really good for me to hear a guy's perspective as well. Yes, I think I did violate his space, regardless of what I initially told myself. I kind of do feel like it is different than a Myspace pic as I wouldn't see a middle school relationship as serious, but that is besides the point. I totally get what you are trying to say.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 06:44 PM
2

Hi, thank you so much! I have been dealing with this since I started dating in my early twenties. It sucks so bad. I want to work through this with him, and he's aware of it, but I feel like atm it's a me problem. Current boyfriend isn't really a huge fan of my anxiety and catastrophic thinking when it comes to these types of issues. But to be honest its not really fair for me, a grown adult, to expect him to help me feel confident. I also used to snoop a lot more than this. Like daily on my ex'…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 06:42 PM
4

You're 100% spot on. I really really struggle with this. It's almost like I'm in a battle with my own mind and my mind is a liar. Rationally I know there's no need to worry about this, yet my mind is coming up with a bunch of reasons why I should. It's really tough but I'm really working on it with my counselor as well as various other avenues. I don't want to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy. I am scared of that. I totally agree, better to feel anxious for a few hours or days and let it pas…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 06:05 PM
1

Okay, yes I will do so. I think because I am new to this philosophy that was me just throwing around some words I had heard. You are 100% right, ever since learning about the wall I have become more anxious about my own age. I don't really think my bf is low value either, at all. I think he is really high value, hence my insecurity. You are right. I think I am and this is a pattern I have brought up with my counselor and am very well aware of. I appreciate the unbiased insight, because it is har…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 06:02 PM
2

You are right. I shouldn't really have looked. I did have a gut feeling when I was inclined to peak, that said "you might find something personal in there." But I looked anyway and now I am an anxious mess. He probably doesn't even remember it and I would look a little crazy. I won't snoop again.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 05:56 PM
1

Hey there! Thank you so much for your input. Yeah, I agree that guys probably very easily forget about this stuff. I appreciate your kind words. I know that he broke up with her because he told me, so it's not like he's pining over some lost flame. His intentions are definitely good, he is a good person. Yes, I do love and trust him. I think it would be great if he got rid of the photo but he really did nothing wrong and it's all coming down to my own insecurities. Yes, we haven't been together …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 05:55 PM
1

I will definitely tell him next time I see him! I think my train of thought can definitely get very catastrophic when I get in a bad space so really I can see how it would be stressful to deal with me. Yes, I agree, I don't mistrust him, and I'm sure he forgot about it. His place can get very dusty so I don't think he deep cleans like I do. He 100% doesn't cheat and I can't ever see him doing that, he would break up first. Thank you, its really a terrible feeling to deal with. I feel like I'm ba…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 05:20 PM
1

Okay that makes sense. I am trying really really hard not to blow this up because I want to prove that I am improving. Best case scenario is I could basically laugh about this with him, or make a joke to show him it doesn’t bother me, but I wanted to bring it up (working on getting there). What I don’t want to do is turn this into a fight, and have him think that I’m proving how insecure I am. He is otherwise very supportive. He has tried to support me on this in the past but I get into a really…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 05:00 PM
1

I wouldn’t care if he looked anywhere in my house because I have absolutely nothing to hide
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:57 PM
1

Even if we’re only boyfriend / girlfriend? We’ve only been together for about ten months as well.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:56 PM
1

No I haven’t 😞 should I? How would you recommend
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:48 PM
1

But still I feel like it wasn’t really my business to look in it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:45 PM
1

I told my boyfriend about this over the course of our relationship, trying to explain that I have a very anxious attachment style and I would really appreciate his help in it with me. I am already going to counseling and doing a lot of self work on this, and am very aware of it. He was supportive, but during one of our most recent fights he said he “can’t always be there to validate me,” and when I tried to later explain that this is how I get he was like “it’s not going to work.” But he took it…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:45 PM
1

Do you think I should even though I was looking in a drawer that is not mine? It’s not like I wasn’t familiar with what was in it, he’s opened it multiple times in front of me.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:40 PM
1

Thank you, it’s good to hear another perspective 🙏
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 04:40 PM
1

Yeah I’m not sure, he isn’t super organized. I could imagine him keeping it and tossing it in a drawer and then forgetting about it. It just hurts to see that as his current girlfriend as I would never, ever, ever leave something like that in my room for a partner to find, just because I know how it feels. 😞
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 02:29 PM
1

Well not really like birthday cards or school photos, there were Pokémon card lmao. Idk if that counts or changes the perspective? So those, some random junk, sex toys/lotions and the photo
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 02:21 PM
1

Also, if you don’t mind me asking, are you a guy or girl?
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 02:16 PM
2

I mean I am kind of livid, but I genuinely can’t tell if I have a right to be as I know myself to be a very insecure person to begin with. In his defense, there are other things in there, eg random junk, a few old things from childhood, lotion, more junk, etc. It’s not like it’s a carefully curated BDSM chest lol, just happens to also have sex stuff
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 02:16 PM
2

You’re right, thank you. Sometimes it’s really hard for me to get out of this headspace and I legit need this.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 01:18 PM
2

You’re right, I think he wouldn’t mind if I approached it like that. The thing is I get really worked up about those things and, like you said, it’s probably obvious. I don’t mean to, it’s just my auto response to become super anxious. I am trying to work through my emotions.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 12:58 PM
1

Would you consider it in the same vein as photos of an adult couple kissing? I think, for me personally, something like middle school notes seems pretty innocuous, but seeing an actual photo of his being all kissy with his ex is really tearing me up. I know it’s in the past, heck he might not even remember he has it. Or he could care less. I think a lot of it has to do with how I threw away all photos of my ex once I started dating this guy. I appreciate your comment though it really helps to gr…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 05:01 AM
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