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ihearthandbags Archive

View 0 posts and 63 comments by ihearthandbags on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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I would say no, being on and off the apps really doesn’t mean anything. Many people do that for attention, to find something casual, hook up, etc. Using the apps intentionally to find a relationship means you’re actually putting effort into meeting people with potential who want the same thing as you. Not just casually swiping every couple of days and not replying to messages. How will you actually get to know anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/24 01:58 AM
4

This is a great point. People seem to forget not everyone is attracted to the same thing/ same looks.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 09:40 PM
5

The sex on the third date thing has been around for decades now. The episode of Big Bang theory you’re referencing is probably ten years old. The whole idea of it isn’t real. Some people have sex on the first date, third date, tenth date. Trying to influence culture, especially with the two years to a ring feels completely off base. We should be encouraging women to figure out what makes them happy. What will fulfill them? I know women who married young and had kids because that was what they we…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 03:15 PM
5

Then I guess I don’t understand the point of your post. It feels like you’re judging independent women while complaining you’re getting judged for being dependent.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 07:53 PM
4

No one is obligated to take care of anyone, just like no one owes anyone anything. If being more dependent in your marriage works for you, great. If being independent works for your friend, great. If you don’t like her comments tell her. If she continues put space between the two of you. The only reason people know you are so dependent on your husband is because you are telling them. If you don’t want to be judged don’t share so much of your personal life and choices.
/r/RedPillWomen19/01/23 06:57 PM
8

Thank you! (And yes she does!)
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 11:29 AM
51

This sounds really unhealthy. You seem to be approaching this as if there are no other viable partners out there. What is this man doing for you? Why isn’t he driving hours back and forth? Why isn’t he respecting you enough to leave your past in the past. Why don’t you have more respect for yourself, him repeatedly telling you to go back to your ex is inappropriate. He’s clearly insecure, so not high value man.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 02:19 AM
8

This is an incredibly unhealthy relationship. This man has manipulated and abused you. You need to remember all the things that make you amazing and remember there are plenty of other men that will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Please don’t allow him to continue to treat you this way. You deserve better. Being red pill does not mean being a door mat for a man. The panic attacks and anxiety are your mind and body trying to tell you something is very wrong. Have you considered w…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/22 02:43 PM
1

I cared about body count when I was in my early twenties, 15ish years ago. At this point if someone slept around in college, had a serious girlfriend or two, got married, divorced, dated for a bit their number could be relatively high but that doesn’t mean they’re a bad person or unable to be faithful. Everyone is different and has a story.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 11:45 PM
3

That seems like an over simplified view.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 10:50 PM
-2

There’s no reason to ask or share your specific amount of partners. Past relationships will inevitably come up and having a lot of relationships should lead to questions. But if either person had a little too much fun in college or something that’s their journey that no one is obligated to. I would be completely turned off by a man who asked how many people I’ve been with, even though my number is relatively low. It’s rude at this point.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 08:40 PM
5

My main reason for not wanting to would be tiredness but once things get going I get a second wind, so I remind myself of that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 06:35 PM
28

This is an interesting way to look at sex, not sure it’s healthy for a relationship. I personally never say no to sex with a partner unless I’m on my ladies days. If I’m in the mood I’ll gladly initiate. Sexual intimacy is part of a healthy relationship, it’s not something to offer or appreciate more or less.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 04:35 PM
2

You mentioned your lifestyle a couple of times. This may be a good time to reflect on your priorities, is your image or marriage more important? Can you actually afford the lifestyle you live or are you trying to keep up with the Jones’s. It sounds like you vetted for a solid man and life partner, don’t let money ruin a good thing. Sometimes life does not go the way we want, embrace the unexpected. Being a successful female business owner is something to be proud of, even if it wasn’t your plan.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 04:28 PM
5

If you want to date just do it if you feel you’re ready but don’t use weight as an excuse. There are plenty of men who like curvy women, though not a reason to not try to be better. It sounds like you’re on the right track. Keep in mind the more you better yourself the higher your standards will be. Don’t settle! Find a man who also values consistently working on himself.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 06:14 PM
3

Are you guys dating exclusively? If you haven’t discussed that you need to. Keep in mind with his success and income he can hire a cleaning lady, and like you said some things should be saved for later in the relationship. If he’s calling and texting you regularly and expressing his interest then you’re on the right track. If he’s willing to be exclusive with you it’s okay to mention you would like to see him more but you’ll have to be patient.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/22 01:42 PM
1

This is not a jealousy problem. If he does it one more time I hope you cut him off, no contact. If not, it’s completely on you for not having more self respect.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 05:21 PM
8

These are a lot of vague questions, are you actually dating someone and concerned they’re not the one? A lot of this comes from life experience. What you want isn’t unreasonable but a lot of men will use that to isolate you and abuse you one way or another. Don’t waste your time giving the benefit of the doubt. Listen to you instincts.
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/22 05:14 PM
6

The lesson out of this should be to get on the same page before sex, cooking for him, and spending weekends together. Get on the same page first then decide how you want to proceed.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/22 03:24 PM
1

If it makes you feel any better I think my 40’s will be even better. The whole idea of your 20’s being your best years is a totally outdated concept.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/21 01:31 PM
1

I will say what made my 30’s better was making better choices as I got older. I started being more responsible with money, continued my education, developed my self confidence. You have control of where life takes you... I honestly think my 40’s are going to be amazing.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/21 01:30 PM
8

I would suggest listening to your gut instinct and take things slow. You mention forgiving him a lot. It’s not necessarily your place to forgive him for his past. You may want to adjust your mind set on that. It’s more of accepting him for who he was and who he is. Also I don’t think you can really hold it against him that he was short with you when he was dealing with a major loss and you had never met. Again take it slow.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/21 02:03 AM
4

Great reminder!
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/21 11:07 PM
4

He knows you want a relationship but won’t commit but says he loves you but sleeps with other women. None of that makes sense... if he loved you he would have committed to you. If he genuinely wanted a relationship he would have stepped up. He’s still out there dating and exploring his options. It’s like the old saying ‘he’s just not that into you’ I won’t even touch on how messed up it is he sent you that picture. You should have blocked him immediately.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/21 11:02 PM
11

My thirties have been sooooo much better than my twenties. I used to think my life would end at thirty. But I finished my masters degree right around my thirtieth birthday, I started to travel, I made more money, owned a home, all good things. I know who I am now. Everyone tells you your twenties are the best years and to hold on to your youth but time is going to pass so embrace it. Set goals for yourself, decided what you want out of life, and start working for it. *also I don’t know what you’…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/21 10:56 PM
24

But are you kind? Loving? Compassionate? Empathetic? Caring? Respectful? Etc.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/20 06:30 PM
4

There are men that feel similar negativity towards women. Both sides get to this place because of negative experiences. We can’t say all women or all men are great, that is a dangerous mentality. If your friends have had to deal with men that treated them poorly you can remind them that not all men are bad, that they need to raise their standards, regroup their priorities. Just keep it positive and light hearted. Sometimes we need our friends to open our eyes to new prospectives.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/20 06:39 PM
3

You can be flirtatious and express your interest without chasing him. If he’s interested he will get the hint and make a move.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/20 11:03 PM
5

I’m struggling with the casual thing right now. I’ve been chatting with an ideal man but he says he wants casual dating and if it’s a good fit he’s open to something serious. Normally I would run away from that but I hate to waste the opportunity if it turns out to be a good fit. I don’t know if there is a right answer.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/20 10:13 PM
3

Outside of the obvious problem with cheating there is the financial dependence. It sounds like if your family did not need his money you would turn your backs on him. So make sure you can take care of yourself. Get a college education, work hard and move up at your jobs, learn to network and make strong connections with like minded people. Take control of your own life. This way if your mr. right turns out to be a bad egg you can pack up your family and move on.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/20 01:21 AM
6

This is the first time I’ve seen or heard of this woman. If you’re looking to find a wealthy man who will provide a comfort life then her advice isn’t bad. If you’re hoping to be a home maker with a half dozen kids I’m sure there’s more appropriate advice out there.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/20 08:09 PM
8

I hadn’t heard of this wall but when I was younger I remember being afraid of my thirties. Now I’m in my mid thirties and life is great. I still get a similar amount of attention for my appearance. What I have learned to be true with age is that no one is attractive to everyone. I’m much more aware of the men that find me attractive and the ones who don’t. It has saved me a lot of time, energy, and heart break. Because of my past relationships I wasn’t able to have kids. Now because of my age I …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/19 01:41 AM
9

If you want kids and he’s a maybe that’s enough to end any relationship. You’re not getting younger and the more time you waste with him less time you will have for kids. I’ve been there and now I will never get to be a mother. Also it sounds like you don’t feel inadequate about yourself, it’s your partner. I would guess you feel this way because you know you can and should do better for yourself relationship wise.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/19 01:26 AM
3

i’m sorry i should have been clearer. i assume anyone with an addiction such as porn would purposely be misleading. they most likely are not going to admit they can’t give it up. other questions about frequency and content might be more insightful and make a person feel less judged so they will be open.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/19 06:26 PM
0

That’s an interesting perspective but vague. If I were to ask my boyfriend about his relationship with porn that wouldn’t help me understand if he has problem.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/19 05:25 PM
6

maybe i missed it but at what point is it considered an addiction? what factors are used to draw the line?
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 06:36 PM
4

This is my dream. Good for you!
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 12:07 AM
2

i have a masters degree and used to be adamant i wanted a partner with an education. my ex from last year had only taken a couple of college courses and made about seven times more money than me with his own business. try to stay open minded.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/19 06:16 PM
1

i think the real question is, has your girlfriend expressed an interest in changing her ways? if not it’s not really fair to hand her a few books and expect her to change. she should change for herself when she’s ready.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/19 12:29 AM
2

i live in western michigan! can’t wait to check this out! thanks for sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/19 12:26 AM
2

i guess i would see it as a concern if he continued to use it as an excuse to not get married. especially considering he went so many years without being able to make a connection with anyone.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/19 01:46 AM
1

i think it would okay to broach the subject again. But i would wait. you haven’t been together for a full year yet and we’re approaching the holidays. enjoy it! then this winter when it can naturally come up in conversation check in with him about the future he sees for both of you. as a side note it is a little concerning you’re his first girlfriend after a divorce. if he uses that as an excuse again you might be in trouble.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/19 07:22 PM
11

I’m not sure there is anything tragic about this. Your friend has a right to be uncomfortable with the others pot smoking and level of drinking. Even if you feel it’s not a problem it clearly is to him. He’s looking for a wife and a mother for his future children these are valid concerns. If she’s interested in him she could start a conversation with him about possibly dating and he could voice his concerns and they could go from there. But if neither one of them cares enough to bring it up then…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/19 06:25 PM
3

dying childless is not the ultimate failure.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/19 12:10 PM
1

this was my first thought too. i wish i would have known about it at 20 so i could have chosen better partners.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/19 03:24 PM
3

A bit of tough love here, it would be quite selfish of you and your bf to have kids when he’s 60, for the variety of reasons that have already been mentioned. Also, is there a back up plan if you’re not allowed to marry? Will you just part ways? That’s quite a risk. don’t miss out on your twenties romanticizing what could be when it seems like the odds are stacked against you... best of luck with whatever you choose.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/19 05:39 PM
11

needed this reminder today!
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/19 05:04 PM
6

I feel like this says a whole lot of nothing. It’s like she doesn’t quite get all the way to her point about love. The whole companionship and perks and what’s love and men letting love be love sounds contrived. She could be on to something but her message gets lost.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 12:03 AM
10

I’m not a house wife but I’m surprised by the negative responses to your post, especially in this sub. I’m currently in a relationship with a wealthy man and my friends and family are convinced if we get married he will ask me to quit working. I’ve already decided I’m open to it even though we will not have kids. It will give us more quality time and freedom to travel. If being a housewife feels like what is right for you and your husband go for it. If you find you’re not happy you can always go…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 07:07 PM
2

I would have stayed in the major city I went to college in instead of moving back home. I would have worked harder on losing weight and growing my hair out. I would have put myself around successful, influential people. I would have worked harder at my career.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 01:36 PM
5

It sounds like you have tried very hard to work on your relationship. It’s okay to walk away when your efforts aren’t getting you anywhere. All the advice in the world isn’t going to change him and moving in with him only reenforced his behavior. At some point in life we have to stop blaming our past, you and your boyfriend are using his past as an excuse. He is an adult and completely accountable for his actions. You have to respect yourself enough to not let someone treat you this way.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 01:26 PM
4

No. A quality woman doesn’t lie. And a quality man would assume he can’t trust you.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/19 04:24 PM
26

Don’t get caught up in this. He can’t give you want you want while he’s legally married to someone else.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/19 03:10 PM
2

you are absolutely being mentally/ emotionally abused. get a job, not only will you make money so you can leave but you will make friends. you will also get child support and worst case scenario government assistance. there are plenty of single mothers who do just fine with dating. if you’re truly an unattractive person utilize make up, get braces, do what you need to to build confidence.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/19 02:17 AM
10

I have a couple of friends like this, they’re obsessed with plastic surgery, tanning, hair extensions, etc. they’re beautiful people but incredibly insecure. Don’t let anyone bring you down to their level.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/19 03:28 PM
12

As someone also in their mid thirties guys like you are why I’m with a 57yo lol. I’ve never been married and wanted to have kids but couldn’t find a decent partner in my age range without a lot of baggage. Apparently guys my age are looking for someone younger so that doesn’t leave me in a great spot. I let go of wanting to have kids and ended up with a wealthy man I can travel the world with so I guess it worked out.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/19 01:14 AM
5

That’s not completely true. I’m 36 and my BF is 57. He loves that I’m younger but 26 would be too young for him and to close to his daughters age. I agree though that we need to focus on the things we can change and be open minded when it comes to the things we can’t change.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/19 11:34 PM
5

I read your post twice and have a few thoughts for you. First, slow down. Nine months isn’t that long and lots of couples talk about engagement, marriage, and kids. If he hasn’t thought about what ring to get you then he can’t be planning on proposing soon, unless he’s said so and you left that part out. If you keep pushing and he’s not quite ready you could push him away. Also just because he has the means to buy you a large, quality ring doesn’t mean that’s how he wants to spend his money. Hav…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/19 10:16 PM
1

if you confront him he’s going to have an excuse or story to explain away what you’ve seen. you will believe him because you’ve already stated you don’t want to lose him. so now he’s going to wonder if you’re snooping and hide things better while also letting you feel bad for being the untrusting one who invaded his privacy. you can skip the whole act and decide if you’re going to trust him and drop it. or if you can’t get past it plan on ending things. just remember, if your gut is telling you …
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 08:05 PM
3

i agree, they should definitely meet in a public place. this should be a date or nothing at all. if she’s looking for a LTR there should be a few dates in public before any alone time.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 10:12 AM
9

If you two live in the same area make time to meet sooner than later. You don’t want to waste your time if the chemistry isn’t right in person. I’ve been there and it’s a bummer. Once you meet if he pushes the physical let him know you want to take things slow. You can phrase it in a way that’s flattering to him, so he won’t be off out by it. If he’s LTR material he will respect your request.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 12:13 AM
1

When you’re dating or meeting women you’re probably going to have to watch for subtle cues. I didn’t realize how much of a RPW I was until I found this sub. Have an idea of what characteristics are most important to you and once you meet someone verify as quickly as possible if they have them, if not move on right away. With time and experience you will be able to weed out women who aren’t right for your needs and more easily notice the once’s that are a good fit.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 10:44 PM
109

When a man tells you you’re looking for different things that’s the end of the conversation. Don’t keep texting him, tell him it was nice to meet him and delete his number. He may have gotten harsh with you because you kept going on. If you met this man online then he knew what you looked like before meeting you so you can’t completely blame appearance. Dating is hard and it takes time to meet the right person. Showing up young and a virgin doesn’t mean every man will want you. Make sure you’re …
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/19 12:03 PM
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