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illegitjap Archive

View 0 posts and 26 comments by illegitjap on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
48

Yes. They try to justify it by insisting every man does it - pickmes also tell you to just accept it because they all do it. But they don’t. I observe. I love it when I see a guy who is just into his date, or his mates, or whoever he’s with, or whatever he’s doing. Able to be aware of his surroundings without sexualising random women’s bodies without their consent. When I was a pickme, my ex would nearly put his neck out checking out every woman under, say, 55. It made me feel worthless, invisib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/21 09:54 AM
2

One of the recovering from narcissists podcasts was saying narcs seem to pop up again 9 months later, wanting to see if they still have power over you, if they can still manipulate you. Mine started up 4 months after we ended, 2 months after no contact. “I miss you so fucking much, I love you so much, I’m still so connected to you in so many ways, I think of you every time I [you-know-what]” etc. Words I’d longed to hear when we were together, when I was a powerless, depressed, suicidal pickme t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 01:18 AM
14

Good onya. Yeah, invoking a sense of pity is a definite red flag. It’s how mine hooked me at the start.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 12:40 AM
1

They’re just insecure. I noted there’s no actual negative comments, just people supporting you. You’re naming a behaviour you’ve identified as problematic and you’re focused on figuring out. That’s the first step to change so don’t worry about them. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 08:02 AM
2

Hey, you could check out the Dear Therapists podcast with Lori Gottleib, episode 7 from Aug 31st titled Emma’s Unavailable Men. You got this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:35 AM
2

Hey, this sounds like it hurts so much and I’m sorry you’re feeling those awful things. I was wondering how long it’s been? It can take way longer than expected/reasonable to let go of some of those feels… but when dealing with some large deep issues giving yourself that patience, acceptance and detachment is also where true change, healing, and growth can take place. That said I feel like I’m moving at a snails pace 😅 I don’t know you obvs so this might not be up your alley, but what I did to h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/21 09:59 AM
14

Huh really? If that’s the case that’s uncool. Did you listen to it? I haven’t had time to listen to them all yet and avoid the ones that look USA-centric. The ones I have heard made me laugh. I certainly didn’t suggest taking on board anything without critical analysis, an open mind, or taking their word as law or promoting cult mentality. But is that really all you took from my super long reply?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 06:17 AM
28

I started using this account to post here again, rather than my other which doesn’t have a Pickmeisha flair, because I suspect there’s a lot of women out there who are struggling, abused, confused, and need a bit of softness along with the levelling up, who are afraid to write anything lest they should be called a Pickmeisha. I was one of those strong independent successful women who was targeted by a manipulative covert narcissist, and slowly brought to where I was isolated, depressed, and suic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 05:37 AM
19

Ditto the Pickmeisha label 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 06:03 PM
41

Yes! And this is why we must keep our eyes open, commit to seeing whatever the truth is rather than our fantasies of what he used to be like/could be like, have your own means, and continually vet vet vet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/21 05:43 PM
25

It depends on if it’s lurking men who answered!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 09:33 AM
26

Wow, that's a lovely comment, thank you. And thanks for sharing. At least the friend you reconnected with was able to be honest with you now. I guess maybe it was difficult for her to do when she was younger. Do you reckon you could have really heard her back then? It sounds like you're doing better now, but have been through some tough times. It cracks me up that people could miss the FDS point so completely. Their loss. This is literally about concertedly turning LVM/NVM/narcs etc. away and ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 12:45 AM
11

Yes! Agree Spotify AI is terrible for podcasts. I have a premium account but the podcast suggestions are still annoying. I fully recommend Apple Podcasts. I know iOS products are more expensive etc., but there’s precisely zero of that bs. My ‘recommended’ on there are: - The Game EXPOSED - Girls that Invest - Women of Impact - The Self Love Fix - Break Down to Break Through - Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast … etc. So much better than Spotify. I’m not sure what a good quality app is on Andro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 06:06 PM
12

Indeed. I'm finding life itself is significantly more comfortable after shedding my old skin, though. Short term pain, long term gain etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 11:54 PM
111

I know your question is for the mods, but I also want to chime in as one of the chosen few hahaha Nah, not degrading. I'm actually working on a post about this, because getting that flair made me realise how low I'd slipped and what a dangerous position I was in. We've all got (or had) a bit of Pickmeisha in us, that's why FDS rings true and provides value to us, we're here and working on leveling up. Just listen to the Roast a Host podcast episode! The Pickmeisha flair was one of the factors th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 09:24 PM
30

Live, learn, and level up sis 💫. Don’t beat yourself up, doing so keeps us stuck in a low place/falling down again and again. You’re not a fool; like my therapist pointed out when I said I feel like an idiot for getting into, then staying, in an emotionally abusive relationship (and being a literal pickme): “so all abused women are idiots?” And in that moment, after bursting into tears, I stopped putting myself down for what I’ve been through in my life. Live, learn, let go, and level up 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 07:21 PM
1

Hi, I just wanted to pop back and say thanks. I’ve completely remade myself through some major life changes and a lots of therapy. I’ve removed the knife, stopped being complicit in my own misery, and I feel great. It took a massive breakdown sometime after this thread happened, and some tough love comments on FDS but I’ve made it and no longer wanting to end my life etc. So, whoever you are, thanks for taking the time back then. I hope you’re well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:54 AM
2

Hi. I just wanted to pop back in and thank you for your support in what was an extremely difficult and dangerous time of my life. He’s completely out of my life, I’m a different person now and doing great. I hope you are too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:48 AM
1

Hey. It took a long time, a lot of therapy, and several major life changes but I’m well away and got some self respect now. It feels really nice, this self respect thing. I just wanted to come back here and thank you for your support and tough love at one of the lowest points of my life. I hope you’re doing ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:45 AM
43

Yep; mine was 160% sure about us, completely changed his life for us to be together, pursued me hard out, this was it for him, fail proof HVM for a year of a long distance relationship. Then I moved across a country to be with him. Then - “I’m not ready for a relationship”. Only he didn’t say it, I had to work it out over months. I’ve ended it now - but beware, while 3 months may be common, it can also take a year and 3 months for the mask to start slipping. Some of them are very, very cunning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:47 AM
2

Yep. I’m slowly doing it. Major and embarrassing slip up last night - but hey I’m admitting my behaviour to myself and getting back up today. Learning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 01:32 AM
2

It started out doing something for myself - I went over because he was away and I wanted to see my cat. And I had to make dinner for myself anyway. Then, you’re right, I had the compulsion to care for him; I guess it was fuelled by the part of me that just wants things to be ok. I’d thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. I am fragile with this all atm, not seeing entirely clearly, so I appreciate the reminder that when I feel that compulsion, to recognise it and turn it a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:30 PM
3

He has my cat, who I’m not allowed to have where I’m currently living. Makes blocking a bit harder. :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:38 AM
5

Thank you. Yes, unfortunately, it’s real - it’s my life just atm. At least I broke up with him, and now it’s little steps forward from here. You’re right, his messages of “I really want to work this out” etc. probably aren’t helping me moving on; no contact is better for now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 09:20 AM
4

F#*{ I broke up with him on Friday It’s now Wednesday; I’ve been completely broken-hearted in the meantime. But this evening I’m at his house cooking dinner so he has something to return to when he gets back from a work trip tonight. Only, I thought he’d be back about 7 when I decided to do it. Turns out he’s in another city right now having dinner with friends and doesn’t get back til 11. Can. Someone. Please. Shoot. Me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:16 AM
6

I was thinking something similar while reading this thread. I’m mixed race Asian/Caucasian and basically never saw my look reflected in media or irl until recent years. It’s much more common now, but I was on the first wave. Many men have exoticised me throughout my life, but it would be almost impossible for men my age to have ever had my look as a “type”. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 07:00 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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