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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
84

GLOBAL RESISTANCEilovesanddollars/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:51 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
106

Why on earth would anyone even bother to say that. Hasnt he heard of protesting too much? Its like leaving a comment on a murder story saying oh too bad, I would never do that though! First of all its callous, tone deaf and a very self absorbed/self-serving response to someone else’s personal tragedy. Second, nobody fucking asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:06 PM
1

I don’t think that’s what the Bible says at all. Maybe some interpret it that way but they would be wrong. In fact, the Bible says if you confront someone and they go DARVO on you, you leave and go NC. That’s basically preventing people from abusing their power over others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:54 PM
10

The Bible is what taught me how to survive and escape a horrific NVM. It was the only thing that helped when there were hardly any resources around to help women in these kinds of situations. So I will always stick up for what it says about women. It’s just a real shame that many Christians haven’t even read it all. I also believe that ‘submissive’ as it is referred to in the Bible doesn’t mean what many have attributed it to mean. When we are with HVM, it is natural for us to respect them. This…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 04:30 PM
26

If they actually read the Bible then they’d see that a woman’s ‘submission’ to a man goes hand in hand with him ‘laying his life down for her’ like Christ did for humanity. Its literally the second half of the same verse for the exact reason that its meant to show that it’s a two way thing. So basically, what is asked from men is wayyyyy more than what is asked from women. This is due to two Biblical principles, which is ‘to those who have been given much, much will be expected’ and the fact tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:46 PM
102

Forced teaming Mining for weaknesses/traumas/insecurities Mining for opportunities to exploit what you have (home, career, resources, and so on) Describe a problem a previous woman had with them to judge your position/reaction aka find out what they can get away with (then do the thing and see if you react)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 03:01 PM
10

Lol imagine a woman with a profile about having hair. What’s your best quality? Oh, I have hair! I mean, how do they even take themselves seriously.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:42 AM
17

Yes its so important for work as well. We need to know what we want to be able to say no to what we don’t want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:40 AM
85

If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. This is what she doesn’t understand. By being literally open to anything, she’s open to all the bs that men will throw at her as well as anything good. And if she’s only dating one guy at a time, that means absorbing a hell of a lot of bs with the probability of some horrible consequence a lot of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:55 AM
33

Anyone worth being around for any amount of time is worth having in your life permanently. This is why casual dating is pointless. If they were that great, it wouldn’t be casual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:51 AM
22

When I found out how easy it was to make someone orgasm through penetration, I wondered wtf men have been doing all this time to fail to even give pleasure let alone actually delivering orgasms. It’s so fucking simple. And yet there’s probably millions of women out there who think ‘they can’t orgasm from PIV sex’ Yet again women internalise the responsibility and make themselves defective rather than men just admitting they’re shit at something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:43 AM
22

If you read some guys’ OLD profiles you’d think they think their competition is bald, toupeed homeless guys with no teeth, no car, and five baby mamas. “Own hair and teeth, home owner, car, never married, no kids” Ok. So a single adult male then. My God sign me up. I dated an LVM once who was so proud of the fact he still had most of his hair after 40, he kept going on about it like it was one of his best qualities. Your hair isn’t gonna improve my quality of life or stick by me when life gets t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:34 AM
10

Let her go and find someone who will actually make her happy. Because you know this isnt just about the ring. There’s probably a million ways his bad attitude towards her manifests in their relationship and she’s probably already miserable. I wish LVM would just stop expecting women to give them the world like we’re some kind of magic token while they completely fail to step up and do the same. And the whole time they expect us to be grateful for making us miserable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 08:06 AM
34

We don’t even have to, their content is already beyond the point of being able to make up anything that’s more ridiculous. What men do to women, what we experience every day from men in our lives, what they do to and say about us in online spaces is already so audacious that we simply couldn’t make it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:46 AM
21

A LVM will never see the true value of a women, regardless of whether she is HV or not, because the problem isn’t her, it’s him. This is the deal. The way a man treats you is a reflection of him and not you. It’s patriarchal bullshit that certain women get the red carpet because they’re ‘better’ than the others. Being a HVW will not stop LVM treating us like dirt, it only stop us hanging around to take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 07:33 AM
10

Where the heck did men get this trope then!! Its like an unwritten rule that we go on the trash pile after 35.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 12:55 AM
150

I wish more men would see through the misogyny and understand that it isn’t logically possible for only women’s gametes to be subject to biological ageing and not men’s. It’s such a big red flag for misogynistic bias in the scientific community that this whole “women’s fertility declines after age 35” narrative circulates all the while its crickets about what happens to men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 10:07 PM
26

Single mom here. It is possible to teach boys how to HV. Pickmeishas tend to raise LVM whether they’re single moms or coupled. LVF tend to raise LVM if they’re coupled and if they’re single with a pickmeisha baby mama. A grown man can choose his own worldview and behaviour regardless of how he was raised, just like we can. It ain’t about being a single mom sis, let’s stop feeding that lie men tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:58 PM
18

I guess it comes down to how men want to express their masculinity and the power they naturally have over women due to biology and culture - by providing for and protecting women or by exploiting and abusing them. This is really why it’s a character issue at its heart and even though gender relations come into it, it’s really about what kind of person they are deep down. Regardless of how much money a woman makes, men are still significantly more advantaged than women physically and culturally. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:47 PM
47

I have to say though, toxic or not, they got it so backwards. They think being a ‘simp’ or whatever they call it is something like the opposite of macho...but I love the manly vibes I get off men when they take care of all that shit, get their wallet out, handle everything on a date, and so on. Its hot and manly as fuck. I don’t understand why or where or how they got it so wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:13 PM
44

And they wonder why they constantly feel emasculated...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 05:13 PM
187

This is why I think LVM are so confused about their masculinity. They think being abusive = being a man. No guys, that’s just being mean.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:39 PM
35

For anyone who believes the dreamgirl myth Anyone who thinks they can turn an LVM into an HVM, And anyone who blames themselves for the ways they have been hurt by an LVM: Men like this do not wake up one day and suddenly decide that they respect/value women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 12:18 PM
32

Yes it also is a good misdirection so if they’re the type to pick up on an insecurity even if you don’t express it explicitly, then at least they won’t be hitting you where it actually hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 11:50 AM
84

So many guys I met on OLD tried to make some comment about what I was wearing, some even before the first date, telling me what to wear. Two of them I didn’t even pick up what was happening because the comments were so subtle, more like backhanded compliments, and I had some insecurities at the time. The LVM outed themselves in other ways later but the clothing comments were definitely one of the earliest warning signs. This taught me a few things: LVM can smell insecurities like blood in the wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 07:30 AM
1

The book Fierce Conversations should be on every woman’s booklist. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Fierce-Conversations-Achieving-success-conversation/dp/0749923970 This skill is vital for weeding out LVP quickly and dealing with them. A HVP will engage with you to resolve conflict in this way. LVP will either be unmasked or refuse to engage/use verbal abuse tactics, at which point you know they are LVP and you can leave quickly and easily before you’ve put your life/emotions/body on the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 06:50 AM
67

I think LVM are genuinely confused about their masculinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 10:57 PM
8

I’m not the OP but I read that the cause for those negative feelings is telling yourself that you can never do, be or have what that person does, is or has. So instead of feeling like you got the short end of the stick, identify what that person has that you want and make it a goal. Then go after it. This will help you level up and learn to love yourself and your life as well as bringing you back into good vibes about yourself and others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:59 PM
11

I totally agree. I have had so many women sabotage my career. We should be giving other women a hand up, because we know how hard it is to make it as a woman. Plus empowering other women to succeed feels amazing. I cant imagine that being catty and immoral feels particularly great. They might succeed in chasing us off their turf so they no longer have to feel the discomfort of envy or jealousy or whatever it is... but does it actually make them feel better about themselves? It just keeps them in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:22 PM
36

Thank you for writing about how pickmeishas treat other women. I have had this happen to me more times than I can count.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:39 PM
29

There are just no words for the audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:35 PM
99

Last LVM I dated mansplained a whole ton of psychology to me (incorrectly I might add), knowing that I had postgraduate training and degrees in psychology. I said to him, I actually studied psychology- He cut me off: I know! Maybe we should go do a course together... (and then continued to talk at me for about half an hour about some very red flaggy topics) I spent almost ten years of my life studying psychology and am already highly qualified. Why would I want to go do a beginners course with h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 08:24 PM
28

Additionally, she probably raised it with him, as in, detected the lack of love there, and instead of actually fessing up... he most likely doubled down and continued to pretend, all the time resenting the fact that he’s being disingenuous. Like. No one is holding a gun to your head guy. Its basically passive aggression. Saying yes when you mean no and then bitching about it to someone not even involved in the situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 06:13 PM
50

This is absolutely 100% why its block and delete as soon as low effort is put forth, instead of stating your standards (eg I dont do coffee dates) and having men upgrade their offer (eg how about a restaurant then). If you have to teach a man how to put effort into dating you, then you will be teaching him how to put effort into being with you forevermore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 03:36 PM
104

I think the problem here is that LVM date women who they don’t actually like let alone love. When you genuinely have feelings for someone a) its obvious to them and they dont need reminders, b) love flows effortlessly because it is there as a feeling and we express feelings naturally c) you don’t resent them for wanting to receive your love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 10:39 AM
19

That doesn’t surprise me at all and I’m glad to see that women are picking people they know will support them. I think there have been studies published saying that when men are present, labour takes longer, is perceived as more painful, and there is a higher risk of complications, partly because to give birth women have to go into a very primal emotional state that men don’t understand or have the ability to facilitate, so every time the woman gets into that state, the man interrupts it with a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 10:31 AM
2

This is so true and it not only shows this man up for the horrifying specimen that he is but also shows the power of a woman’s love, that this is what most of us cry out for in our hour of greatest need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:08 AM
206

In moments of extreme terror and helplessness, it is a normal human reaction to feel a desire for your mom. In birth, many women I’ve spoken to wanted their mom. It is fucking excruciating, exhausting and terrifying even if you don’t have any issues and/or have to deal with crap medical care. This poor woman also had to deal with feelings of grief that her mom wasn’t there because she had passed. Birth is also the moment when a woman is at her most vulnerable and most helpless. You face a task t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:13 PM
277

I think it was Germaine Greer who said in the 1970s that most women have no idea that men hate us. She was vilified of course, and nothing changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:10 PM
330

62.1k upvotes but its not all men. Right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:06 PM
31

Has anyone tried commenting saying its not fds? Not sure how that would go down but idk what else could be done really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 05:05 PM
5

Its probable tbh. Women are successfully smeared by LVM/NVM in the field all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 02:15 PM
10

Doesn’t it enter their tiny minds that if they have to make up stuff to get us banned that we’re not actually doing anything bad enough to get banned on our own? This so reminiscent of the smear campaign that LVM/NVM do when their abuse is outed to control the narrative and maintain the lie that they’re not doing anything wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:50 PM
10

I would love it if the LVM who comment about this crap could actually see what we look like. We are the ones they ogle at on the street when their pickme gf is standing right next to them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:43 PM
22

Its bad enough that we have to deal with men who already know we’re right denying it. But women too? Way to betray the sisterhood and participate in your gender’s demise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:57 PM
7

Melanie tonia evans has a narcissistic abuse recovery program and videos on youtube that help explain narcissism and how to extricate yourself from narcissists. Dr Ramani also has useful youtube content. It is very, very hard to get out from a narcissist’s web. I have heard from the above resources that ex-junkies have reported that it is even more difficult than getting off heroin. The longer you leave it the harder it is to leave. Make sure you leave safely and with enough evidence to support …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:40 PM
55

The worst thing is men know what men do to women. They even joke about it with other men. But the second women point out the elephant in the room, they get the fucking pitchforks out. How dare a woman call it like it is. We’re only allowed to talk about it if we’re participating in it willingly and agreeing tacitly that we deserve it (libfems).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:07 AM
19

Yes, and the ‘crazy thing’ was probably a woman’s fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 11:01 AM
3

That’s a really good idea, it would make a good addition to the handbook. I’m not sure where it is but there is a space here somewhere for suggesting content for the hand book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:36 AM
8

Children don’t actually understand what they are watching when watching sexual content or experiencing sexual situations. Therefore, they cannot really ‘react’. Children naturally trust adults and will generally go along with whatever is presented to them. They do not generally have the agency or social skills to navigate such situations, especially if individual differences make them less likely to be able to do so (for example, being subject to authoritarian parenting). If we factor in the cul…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 08:03 AM
5

Thank you for finding this and doing all that looking. If you still have them, could you dm the ones you found? I’m thinking of writing about this issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:55 AM
7

This is the problem when bias and violence/abuse against women is cultural - the people who are in positions of power are likely to be perpetrators or subject to the bias and misconceptions themselves. This is what happens to so many women when they seek justice, the decisions made, the way they are treated, and the final judgements are based on the lies men tell about women, because these are the framework by which people in the justice system view life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:52 AM
24

I’m not sure, that looks like its naming a shaming the World Health Organisation (I’m not sure as I didnt read it in depth due to triggers). The report I read about mentioned UNICEF by name. I’m sorry I don’t have a link to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:18 PM
107

In fact, exposing children to pornography is considered sexual abuse according to many definitions. Sexual abuse is devastating to children’s development and their later lives. This has been evidenced in robust research. The ‘science’ they are using to make these claims is, therefore, most certainly flawed and supported by twisted logic and a lack of critical appraisal of the wider body of knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:15 PM
49

This is true and a reality that is devastating when women try to protect themselves and their children from male violence and abuse. It is not just cultural but institutional. It is not just that women are more likely to be punished for dishonesty, they are also more likely than men to be punished for honesty in these situations. The punishment for honesty is also institutional, which silences women and perpetuates male violence against women and children. It’s a great tragedy that men’s egos ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:10 PM
348

I think UNICEF was recently in the news for child sex exploitation in developing countries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 06:37 PM
30

Imagine if that’s how it was for us right. Imagine how that would feel, if that was all you felt was expected of you. In fact thats not even the expectation. That’s the bonus! So if that’s the bonus, what’s the actual expectation LVM have for what they should give to a relationship? Its literally nothing. They actually expect it to be all take and no give. At fds we are not even asking for the right to have the audacity that LVM already have. We are just asking them to be fucking reasonable and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 10:34 PM
267

I heard this called the takeaway game and I think that describes it really well. Pushing boundaries to see what they can get away with. And they’ll just keep pushing you all the way to hell if they can get away with it. This is why at the first sign they start ‘taking away’ any of the stuff that showed care and respect for you, you have to leave straight away. Because normal people dont fucking act like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:17 PM
18

This is how it is for them with porn right. They can just type in what they want to fit their preferences and boom they can get off to it. This is why women have become so replaceable to men. OLD makes it even worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:41 PM
57

I never had a car accident in all my years of driving. My dad has had several. The worst one involved him driving a car into a flood and completely submerging it. He had to abandon it and it was a huge operation to get it out and fixed. He still mansplains how to drive to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:23 PM
4

Sis I can only commiserate with your story and say I’m sad it happened to you too. The only thing that got me through my ordeal, that has been many years long, has been my faith. Even my own family turned against me. How else can you explain something like this? It’s Biblical level shit. The number of men who have abused me is more than I can count, many more than two. This is why I am grateful every day that after a long and hideous battle, which I am still seeing out the tail end of, I do not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:28 PM
41

She messaged me on the app and asked me to contact her through her company. I use a fake name also. If you want to go for it, go for it. Just assume nothing and vet as you would for any other situation and dont expect men to be different - in my experience, men are men wherever they are to be found, character is not something you can predict per group. Additionally, as you can see from Bumble, the mechanics of a dating service cannot change entrenched social norms. The social change that is need…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:05 PM
84

I had a matchmaker target me based on my OLD profile that her client had taken a liking to me. He was a super rich elite businessman kind of guy. But I didn’t find him attractive so I didnt pursue it. He was also quite a bit older than me as I remember. My point to this story is the client pool to a matchmaker may be super rich but that’s about the only distinction. Maybe there are even bad qualities that you find specifically in those pools, like super rich guys wanting to ‘buy’ a younger troph…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:14 PM
14

If you’re in the UK you can be fast tracked for social housing if you are escaping domestic abuse. Women’s Aid can help you by providing a refuge place for you and your children and they will help you find a job and sort out housing when you’re ready to leave the refuge. The charity Refuge can also help. I’m sorry I don’t have any info if you’re outside of the UK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:03 PM
4

It is incredibly painful to endure a smear campaign that is succesful. Especially when it something like mental health. Its a very common defence for abusers because it essentially discredits their target and allows them to control the narrative (in other words, to evade being unmasked). It happened to me too, but for me it was in a custody dispute. It happened more than once with the same narc. I had to fight like hell while I was traumatised to make sure he wasn’t successful. And in both situa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:51 PM
3

I’m sorry this happened to you sis, especially at work. It sounds like he may have been a narcissist. Please don’t should would coulda yourself into the ground. Going into ‘please’ mode is a trauma response and a totally normal way for women to stay safe in situations of threat when there is no means of help or escape. And it sounds like he also initiated a smear campaign on you too when he sensed that you may expose him. Its straight out of the narcs playbook. This can be really traumatic and i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:48 PM
15

Its not the same, because men aren’t institutionally, culturally and relationally oppressed like women are. In addition, u/LilithWon is using a narrative to resist abuse, while men tend to use narratives about women to abuse them. I dont have anything to add on the original premise of the OP, because idk to what extent its true. But its definitely not the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:33 PM
105

This is it. If we have to start analysing what’s going on, this means there’s something to analyse. ‘Something to analyse’ doesn’t happen in good relationships with HVP. ‘Something to analyse’ is what you go to therapy to recover from if you don’t get out soon enough. If we find ourselves thinking ‘wtf is going on?’ The answer is always nothing good. We are women not detectives. The second we start to feel like we’re trying to investigate some crap behaviour we dont understand, we already drank …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:28 PM
166

The worst are the ones who lie about their height. Oh yeah I’m 6’. Standing next to them in 4” heels when I’m 5’5 and suddenly I’m the same height as them. Ohh right, that kind of 6’. The stupid thing is I dont even care about height as long as I can wear heels and not be taller than him. The lying is the instant turn off. I’ve probably been around so many men who lied about their height I don’t even know what 6’ actually looks like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:11 PM
35

This is so important to remember for those LVM who masquerade as HVM. These were the worst of the worst for me. I dated a guy who seemed like a total catch. A total HVM. Then I tried to raise an issue with him one day and he stonewalled me. And when he would talk to me again, it was gaslighting and stonewalling all the way to hell apparently. It confused me so much because the image he presented was flawless. Yet the longer I knew him, the angrier he seemed. I never allowed him emotional intimac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:38 AM
14

I used to think I looked up to men because they were worth looking up to. Now I realise I was only looking up because the patriarchy pushed me down. I miss being able to look up to men. It makes me feel sad to have discovered that they don’t deserve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:54 AM
6

Horrific. Also, in the UK, it wasn’t until the 1980s that it became illegal for a man to rape his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:49 PM
25

As soon as dating became about making money for someone else, women got screwed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 10:23 AM
14

It’s not even that women are projecting capability. They’re just believing the gaslighting men do when they don’t really love a woman but keep fucking with her to use her for whatever she will give. That’s what I hate about this book - that it makes women accountable (why doesn’t she just leave?) for men’s behaviour (gaslighting, lying about wanting to be with a woman, using her, wasting her time etc). And that’s on top of the fact that its based on the myth of ‘the dream woman’ who appears and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 05:46 PM
21

Thank you. We are safe and both recovering from the trauma of it all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 11:54 AM
56

This is the truth. When I left, alleged abuse and asked for my child to be protected from his father by the courts, I was threatened to have my child taken away from me. I was told I could not even mention it or try to protect us otherwise he would get custody. This is despite the fact that I had evidence from professionals that proved his defence of ‘she’s crazy’ and parental alienation were completely unfounded. I spent the next decade or so living like I was in the wild fucking west trying to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 09:01 AM
11

I agree and have always had a problem with that book and phrase. My deal is I dont need any fuckery in this dancery. This was a meme here a while back. This is a premise for all of life, not just men. Is this job, friend, family member, professional, home, car, piece of furniture and yes, man, lowering my quality of life? Then out it goes. Edit. Yo. Life. Don’t make it man-centric at all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:56 AM
127

Exactly. Everything he had already thought of doing but restrained himself from. That’s why he praises himself so highly for it. Its all ‘You should be grateful - look at what I could have done!’
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 08:34 AM
6

Yes yes. Do you have dms on here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 10:01 PM
13

I believe this is a human rights issue at its heart. Its basically the commercialisation of sex abuse and trafficking. Any human rights lawyers here? I think we could seriously make some legal challenges that could start changing things and begin to protect women and children from all this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:39 PM
5

Basically the beginning of gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:36 PM
13

Oh jeez yes and that quiet self assuredness is so damn sexy. I went out with a guy a bit like that and same experience pretty much, we only had eyes for each other, out of politeness first and second, out of genuinely just wanting to give each other attention because that was the whole point. And sure we both got attention when out but like you say, when you get attention all the time, you dont care about it. Its background shit. LVM dont realise that they are just scoring massive own goals over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:13 PM
54

Aint that truth. Men who want you to be some kind of sex goddess but dont like it when you order a salad so you can feel sexy and confident in bed after dinner. Like make up your fucking mind guy! You cant have both!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:56 PM
32

The inherent misogyny in this is fucking ridiculous. He’s basically saying Women can’t be funny. Women can’t be smart. Women can’t be loving. Women can’t be strong. Those things are a man’s job? And his conclusion is ok guys, I finally accepted... its ok to let my girlfriend be the man in the relationship. I mean what the actual fuck. The woman in this scenario needs to realise she’s with an LVM and gtfo and go and be with some HVM who realises that both people can be these things... and that’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:44 PM
33

A guy tried that with me, trying to say his ex was texting him all the time for attention. By that time I had already decided it was a no go, so I told him my ‘reason’ for ending it was that he clearly still had feelings for his ex since he was always talking about her and I felt he should go back to her and try and make it work. The feeling of satisfaction as he felt it all backfiring on him was delicious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:26 PM
36

Exactly and HVM believe in themselves, so they believe they can win you over without resorting to manipulation or whatever. And they wouldnt even want to do that, because they actually have a sense of ethics and it is so beneath them. LVM think we have no other options because they don’t. That’s why they have to ‘manufacture’ it. An HVM knows he has options so he doesn’t have to fucking broadcast it all over the fucking place. And as a woman, you can sense it anyway, but because you’re both high…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:19 PM
5

Well, you’re completely right. It’s like the old saying goes... Don’t accept a mental health diagnosis before checking you are not just surrounded by assholes. I swear mental health services have it totally flipped on its head. We have whole services, whole hospital units, whole bodies of research on treating those with personality disorders... but none of this for treating their victims, who are the ones that really need the help. Instead, we ‘blame the victim’ by diagnosing people with depress…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:54 AM
49

I think the following is really important to note here, because the kink community emphasises the fact that there is ‘consent’ means it’s not abuse and that the fact that it is ‘pretend’ means its not abuse. In practice, ‘consent’ in kinky sex is rarely handled at all let alone correctly. It’s an issue thats handled by most in the same way as consent is other sexual situations (totally ignored, coerced, manipulated, by deception and so on). Your body does not know it’s pretend, and our experienc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:18 AM
12

Studies have been published stating that women with postpartum depression attribute their emotional state to their social circumstances rather than having a mental health condition. Do you know what the conclusions of these studies were? That these women were somehow experiencing distorted perceptions and that they really did have mental health problems, they were just calling it wrong because of being new moms. You cannot make this stuff up. A woman being abused asks for help, and she is called…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:37 AM
16

I’ve had my career sabotaged more times than I can count by other women who didn’t like how I presented myself (too feminine, too ‘attractive’). So much that I started working for myself to get away from it. I can kick ass at my job and look fantastic at the same time. Idk why so many people have a problem with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 05:34 PM
9

You’re not just wasting your energy, you’re giving them further bullets to shoot you with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 12:54 PM
10

I call out sexist bias in the research I edit. It puts me at risk of not being paid but I’ll be damned if I let that shit slide.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 09:28 AM
19

I thought the glasses icon was boobs. Literally the only part of this profile that interested me/I could bear to examine in any detail (they’re asking people if they have boobs? Men? Why? Ohhhhhhhhh)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:41 PM
150

I lost my health because of the way I was abused by LVM. That is literally what this meme is showing. It’s not a fucking joke and its sick that people out there think it is. Abusing a woman so she’s a shadow of her former self is funny now? Wtf has our world come to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 06:41 PM
3

I would have to devote some mental resources to it. I’m currently fighting other battles but its definitely something I’ll keep in the back of my mind. If I have any good ideas I’ll let you know but I would love to see a movement develop, on social media like people have said but also in terms of activism/politics... I think there is a real problem with mainstream culture and women and children need and deserve change. We have to stand up and be counted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:15 PM
82

I already deleted my apps because even going on them and being exposed to all that ridiculousness (even just from browsing low effort, audacious profiles) was lowering my quality of life. I would love to see a boycott. I would also love to see what would happen if we organised. Now that would be something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 10:18 AM
33

Hold on a minute guys. As a single mom I have learned that if you want to stay sane and not burn out, sometimes you need to be proactive in taking time for yourself and get childcare for a few hours. Parenting is a 24/7 job. If you don’t get some kind of break, it will break you. And it can break relationships if you’re in a couple and don’t proactively take time to spend on each other. Having said that, I am not defending this man, because in my experience the ratio of HVM to LVM is such that i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:39 PM
9

Yes and as moms, this is how we should be teaching our boys to court women. Because of our culture and what is normalized/accepted, we have to be proactive about this. We need to be involved enough to know how our boys are conducting themselves and steer them into better ways the moment we start to see problems. Boys will be boys unless we take our job seriously in helping them become men. And this is a parent’s job, not a wife’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:10 AM
27

Exactly and look at what he did to Angelina Jolie too. Left her right after she got a double mastectomy and by all appearances seemed to be emotionally abusing her and silenced her when she tried to speak out/get help. If an LVM cheats and leaves or whatever, he never gives better to the next one. That’s the illusion they want the world to buy because its the one where they don’t have to admit to or pay the consequences for being a piece of shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 11:02 AM
4

Fucking A.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:45 AM
19

I have reported several men. One for verbally abusing me. One for stalking me. They took it seriously and banned them. Then they popped up with new profiles. One of them I reported again and they banned him again. Guess what. Popped up again. Reported him again. By that time, they lost track of the paper trail I guess or drank the kool aid of his denial and the response was ohhh we’re just going to keep an eye on him and if he causes any more problems we’ll look into it again. Yeah fucking right…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 08:02 AM
5

The only people who have a problem with us having boundaries are those who benefit from us not having them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 02:10 PM
22

I actually found Hinge to be the only app with any hidden gems. Never went on Tinder. The League seems to be ugly successful guys. Never found a scrote on there but also never really matched with anyone so no idea if they’re lurking there too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:28 PM
41

In my experience, Bumble is the app where you find decent looking scrotes who can be into self care, having a nice home, having a steady job, generally having their superficial shit together. This does not mean they are immune to cultural misogyny. Talk to them for five minutes and they will out themselves I guarantee it if they havent already on their profile. Why do we find this kind of scrote on Bumble? Because Bumble is ladies choice. So they are skilled in presenting an attractive image/kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:12 PM
14

Make a commitment to stop doing things out of a sense of obligation/guilt. Then, you will discover what you actually want to do and what you don’t. So only do what you want to do, what makes you feel good, what is joyful to you. Over time, the more you do this, the more self respect you will have. Others will also begin to respect you more, so you will find yourself in fewer situations where you are expected to act like a lackey. At this point, keep giving to yourself. Go to therapy. Heal the pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 11:53 AM
102

This is because having another child represents virtually zero risk and zero costs to him if he wants to leave, compared to marriage, which is high risk and costs a lot to get out of if he changes his mind down the line. Have a baby, sure, that’s her problem, he can just leave and be one of those single dads on OLD whose ‘two sons come first and if you don’t get that you’re not for me’. Oh yes, the two sons you just abandoned. If that’s coming first imagine what his date is going to get!! These …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 06:42 PM
14

I had one guy serve me up this kind of energy (kneeling/ego aside stuff) and I swear to God he was the guy I respected more than any other guy I dated. He was the guy I compared all other guys after for a long while and every single one of them came up short. This guy here has it completely backwards really. I’m hoping for her sake he doesn’t take her back. Really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 05:15 PM
13

Seeing this behaviour constantly from men of all ages is one of the reasons I could never bring myself to get married to any of the men who proposed to me. I hate being the object of another woman’s misery but far prefer it to becoming that woman. I had to re-learn how to feel ok dressing nice after being assaulted (almost 15 years and I still have panic attacks trying to get dressed sometimes) but I noticed that men will stare whether I’m dressing fabulous or just in leggings and a tshirt with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:30 PM
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