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import_help Archive

View 0 posts and 25 comments by import_help on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Dude I fucking hear you. It was rough. I’m not a fighter by nature, and I really struggled with… I don’t know, the shittiness of it? But you’ve got to. You have to stay strong and you have to hit back. Yes, you loved her, but you’ve been presented with an existential threat. What got me through this was my daughter. YOU have to be her voice, and you have to fight for her. Does she deserve to have all the time with her father that she can get? The only way to make that happen, unfortunately, is t…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 12:28 PM
3

Oh dude this is totally a thing! I had a lot of close female friends, and even the ones not connected to her are weary of me now, simply because I fucking fought for my self. It’s wild. Yeah, I took her ass to court because she fled the area unlawfully with my child, neglected her so my ex could get drunk, and admitted in court the ex used drugs around her daily. But I’m the bad guy. Neat.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 02:46 PM
1

I had something similar happen to me. You need a good lawyer and a court date now. Get in front of a judge for any reason and explain that she’s exploiting the system to establish a status quo of another residence. I did this via a TRO - where I live a TRO grants a court date within 14 days, so we used that as an entry point to get in front of a judge. Her whole case fell apart after that. I got genuine parenting time with my daughter, it forced her back up to my daughters home, and it made movi…
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 02:33 AM
8

Same story almost to a T. All you can do is go to war. Fight as hard as you can, document every single thing. Keep a journal of all interactions. Start compiling a binder if all your evidence. Organization and pedantic documentation is how you get through this. Hold on to how you feel right now. It sounds insane, but not far from now it will be easy to forget this insanity and betrayal, and you’ll be tempted to grant quarter. Do not do it. That is when the attack will come.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 06:52 PM
2

I don’t want to believe this. But I will say my stbxw has gotten a lot friendlier since I finally broke and clued her in that I wasn’t buying her shit anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 04:46 PM
8

I could’ve written this. I hope he gets what he needs
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 03:34 AM
5

No. Mine said “I never loved you because it was too hard to manipulate you. None of my tricks worked on you, and I can’t take that anymore.”
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 11:43 PM
4

I hear that. Going on 1 full year and she refuses to make any move to actually be divorced. Anything that has happened I had to force it. Seems like a fucked up control thing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 02:30 AM
1

I think you are being rational. Mine sometimes goes off the grid for a bit, but it seems to be only when other clients have a fire, and he always calls and checks in when the dust settles. And when my case is on fire or I have something actionable he’s on the goddamn ball. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 06:32 AM
1

I’m still figuring it out. I want to delete them, but I’d also hate to lose almost ten years of memories. I’ve lost so much, do I have to really lose all the memories too? I dunno what the answer is.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 01:39 PM
11

Document and record EVERYTHING. keep a journal even if you don’t have any other proof, but absolutely don’t respond in the moment. They are absolutely trying to provoke you into responding aggressively, don’t give in.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 04:45 PM
3

OP re-read this every couple of days. This guy is spot on. Every single thing he laid out here happened to me exactly as he described it, and lord knows I’m not the only one. I know I’m saving it to go back to whenever she starts getting purchase with me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:53 PM
2

Been there, done that. Don’t recommend it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 08:55 PM
3

This can go either way. I’ve had two passing tests, my stbx has two failing ones, and she still had no restrictions. And this is in a super red state. It’s insane.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 01:12 PM
2

Yeah he’s right man. I know it hurts. I know it hurts because it happened to me. It happened to all of us. He’s giving you a splash of cold water because we’ve all been through the denial you’re currently experiencing. Every single one of us held out hope and remained kind and trusting for way longer than we should’ve, and every single one of us got burned for it. Don’t make our mistakes. File. Get a lawyer. Go on the offensive. Because I promise you that’s what she’s going to do. But you have a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 02:34 PM
4

Good god, this plus most of OPs list is spot on. All of these things made me “abusive”. It’s sickening. Thanks to both of y’all for writing this out. Even nearly a year later I still find myself falling into her traps and find myself wondering if maybe all these things were abuse. It’s a mindfuck. Especially when the break was so out of the blue and maximally cruel.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 02:30 AM
1

Separated for 9 months, working on the divorce. I’ve had nightmares every single night since. But they’re all of me being manipulated and controlled or of her stealing my daughter away again (usually through some trickery). They’re miserable, but they been useful in helping me discover how toxic the situation was. I’ve found it helpful to sit and write about the dreams shortly after waking. They hurt and are no fun, but it’s helped me see the relationship for what it really was.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 03:02 PM
2

Is this working for you? I’ve been considering it
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 03:57 PM
3

100%. My ex’s dad was legit a piece of shit, but she adored her mom. But her mom was incredibly controlling and abusive. While my ex was growing up and now. She basically accused me of doing everything her mom does to her step dad. It’s disgusting. Her mom thinks she has license to abuse her husband because he happily takes it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 04:40 PM
3

Goddamn that’s a good one. My ex only gave me one actually personal gift in ten years. Most holidays or events she just wouldn’t get me anything.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 04:38 PM
7

This is so true. My ex said the same thing. Every relationship she had in any capacity was always “toxic”. Wish I had put that together much earlier than I did.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/22 04:36 PM
6

Amen. And somehow it was my fault that I had to work to keep things afloat and prepare for our future, and it still wasn’t enough. I would’ve loved to have spent that time with my daughter, but I couldn’t because I had to finance her plopping her in front of the TV, getting high, and poking around on her phone all day.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 01:08 PM
2

A single ounce of communication from her side of the fence. A willingness to have any kind of discussion so we could come to a shared understanding of reality.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 06:34 PM
6

Inability to communicate. Don’t make me guess what’s in your head. I’ll certainly get it wrong, and then no one is happy.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 12:13 AM
3

Fucking amen.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/22 12:11 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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