innovativesolsoh Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
6	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling	Question For Women	innovativesolsoh	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 03:27 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Well, I can say that consequences do tend to be the best motivating factor in terms of effectiveness, but it has to be entirely external and at least make me believe there will be consequences. I mean, from what I understand ADHDers have muted responses internal drivers, like dopamine.. I’m not sure if you remember it from science class, but if you recall the subject of how synapses work my theory is that fear and anxiety are better motivators for adhd because fear and anxiety are stronger stimu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/12/23 07:10 AM
2	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling I wasn’t really seeking advice, and we’ve been together 12 years, married 10, so I think we’re doing something right.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 11:15 PM
2	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling That’s exactly what I did? Also, no two adhd patients are the same in most ways..	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 11:12 PM
1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Oh, absolutely it’s the nice thing to do, but it wasn’t like… the fork in the road occurred to me, it was more like driving a totally different direction and passing the fork in the road, but because it wasn’t in my trajectory it was gone as quick as it came. Like, it’s terrible but it was a lot like traveling on the highway.. you may glance at the signs you aren’t looking for but you don’t really register them and process and think about them like you would the signs to need to get to your dest…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 10:12 PM
2	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling How do you figure? I went to great lengths to diagnose and treat and work to improve the issues I had. The lazy and inconsiderate would’ve just shrugged and kept it as is.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 10:02 PM
1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling To a woman it may not be ‘hinting’, but like the most common example I can think of is like, complaining out loud? So like, I could be in another part of the house and we’re not engaged in any conversation at this point.. but she’ll say to herself “ugh, I should’ve done the dishes” at a volume you only use if you want to be heard. Now, I know that should be obvious and in retrospective now that she told me that was her way of asking for help, it is obvious to me since I know now.. My brain essen…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 09:37 PM
4	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling No, not at all, essentially we just more clearly defined roles based on our strengths and weaknesses such as: She usually cooks, because she manages the groceries and knows what we have in ‘meals’ and ingredients whereas when I cook I usually have to go buy it on the spot or plan ahead like for a special occasion, but I barely remember to eat so if we waited on me we’d eat at 9pm if at all. My part of that routine is I am the one to pick up the groceries, clean up after dinner and put away lefto…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 06:42 PM
1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Sounds like you and your partner are fortunate that you’re both compatible in that regard, did you guys like clearly define who does what, did it just coalesce or are you both just do like whoever gets to it first?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 05:01 PM
1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Depends on what, so like when I did retail (I sold cellphones) I had a report I pulled that said exactly how many we needed to sell, how many accessory dollars we needed, etc etc. A lot of the job was predefined in goal, so I’m still coloring inside the lines. I can use whatever color I want but it’s still structured. Now the ‘busy work’ stuff, I was awful at.. like I wasn’t the manager who was like “we got downtime let’s clean and straighten and do blah blah” I was good with operations and such…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:58 PM
1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Well, where’s that line for you though? Like, what’s ‘understandable’ for you vs ‘having to tell an adult how to function’?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:44 PM
2	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling I have tried that, multiple times (even with therapist support) and eventually the uniformity of the notifications desensitizes me to them. If there was a way to randomize the reminders, I think it’d work better, but all it takes is a couple times where I ignore it for a legitimate reason like I’m not even at the house and it’s like my brain just tunes it out every time. I know it’s hard to imagine unless you’ve experienced it, but it’s not even intentional, brain just says it no longer matters …	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:42 PM
4	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling The funny thing is, generally speaking I excel at work because I have clearly defined tasks and responsibilities. I’ve even had various leadership positions in retail and oddly enough, a used car manager. I thrive inside of the lines, where I struggle is when they get hazy or disappear.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:37 PM
4	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Well, yeah, I suppose not..but there are probably things I can do better than you, also. When I am in hyper-focus I can perform at a high level on a single task without diminishing quality for a nearly limitless amount of time, which has allowed me to learn new skills rapidly and at a high competency. I pivoted from working retail at Best Buy to doing IT for a multi billion dollar mortgage insurance company in 4 weeks doing a self taught online course. I don’t say this in anger, but don’t lose p…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:31 PM
6	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Oof, retard? Really?	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:07 PM
1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling I think it’s definitely a good thing for partners to be more direct, is that something you learned to be with your partner, was your mother the same way? My subjective person experience is that communication styles like that are less common in women, just interested in whether it’s nature or nurture for you if you don’t mind sharing	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:06 PM
-1	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling From a purely physical standpoint you’re right, I’m not blind, but (at least for me) it’s sort of like I’m blind to the problem, she would notice it first and then do it and I was only even aware because she was doing it. It’s hard to describe because I don’t know what it’s like to be any other way, but it’s almost like those old optical illusion patterns where you have to stare at them closely to see the hidden picture? It’s a little like that, except the hidden picture is things like time, urg…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 04:00 PM
2	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling Were there other issues in those three relationships? Like, was there other factors or were those the primary reasons? Did you both work and they just stopped contributing there or what? I don’t wanna open old frustrations or anything, but I’m curious about your situation, considering all three had the same issue and outcome	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 03:47 PM
4	Q4W: Hinting vs. Telling I certainly don’t recommend it unless you have a lot of compassion and resolve, and frankly faith that your partner means well or ‘wants’ to do the correct thing. I can say though that understanding the issue does help the perspective. My wife thought she just married a lazy asshole for awhile and was so aggravated at times (understandably I might add) then once we knew the problem and could learn to communicate better her whole attitude changed and we found what works for us.. it’s not perfect,…	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 03:43 PM
1	Sexual deviancy for men is sexual liberation for women Sure, maybe if you’re talking about being arrested or whatever.. but the consequences would look nothing alike.	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 02:51 PM
2	Do you think that being rich helps men in terms of dating and finding relationships etc? If so do you think this is to do with the status that comes along with it or the lifestyle and wealth? Spoiler alert, it is. Source: personal experience 😭	/r/PurplePillDebate	17/12/23 02:42 PM
2	Imagine an adult man that isnt the father kissing a girl like that. He would get fucking sued No one accounts for the free drinks, dates, non-contributory cohabitation, alimony, child support, tickets they escape because of being a woman. Being an attractive woman is like having a stolen credit card with no limit, aside of course from the women who actively want and try to contribute. I was lucky to marry well.	/r/PussyPass	18/05/20 09:59 PM
2	Imagine if a guy did that to a girl. Lol no, there are very basic physiological differences. Particularly how men’s bodies tend to develop muscle easier than women. Depending on varied genetics you could match similar people, but the ‘average’ girl at 18 isn’t even in the same weight class as the ‘average’ 18 year old guy. If you’re speaking about ‘rights’ or social strength? Women are vastly more powerful than men in the court of social opinion. Men piss in public and wind up on sex offender registries, women piss in public for Ti…	/r/PussyPass	18/05/20 09:52 PM