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irritating_maze Archive

View 0 posts and 45 comments by irritating_maze on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

but unrequited means unconfessed its mostly used in the context of relationships to define one-sided love, something that is not returned. That love may or may not be confessed.
/r/ExRedPill06/05/24 07:28 PM
3

its not like the perspective is alien to me. Why should I do anything if it won't lead to a relationship? well yea and that's the issue. We be defining ourselves by this one aim. We're sitting here with the worst hand in the world and trying to call and being upset about not winning the round. What I wanna convince people to do is fold and keep playing hands until we get better, at which point we have a much better chance of getting to where we want.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/24 09:20 PM
6

I think a healthy 2) is that though. Go through life without an obsession about trying to date, start hobbies, expand friend groups, just exist at first. Then once you have personal goals and self-fulfilment without relationships and a broader social net there's much better odds of it happening naturally because people gravitate towards people who have lives.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/24 07:24 PM
1

The latter more being: work on the things you can change, instead of hand-wringing about what you cannot. Try approaching life without the focus on relationships, build up a selection of interests, hobbies and friend groups with personal goals that are not about relationships. See relations as a bonus as opposed to the sole focus. these give people coping tools and an idea about what to do now. A successful sole focus on 1) is just telling someone what they're wrong about, it creates a void and …
/r/ExRedPill05/05/24 07:22 PM
3

Perhaps the sub should stick to the first one and avoid engaging the second I think your comment is great but at the same time I'm not comfortable with offering 1) without 2). Telling someone what they're doing is wrong isn't enough, you need to show them a path of a more positive direction. Child development suggests that 2) is more important than 1) for tiny people who struggle with reasoning.
/r/ExRedPill05/05/24 05:41 PM
12

mate, it took me until I was 42 and I saw some pictures of me when I was younger to realise I'm actually handsome af and sold myself a lie my entire life. I used to think my personality was doing the heavy lifting when in reality my personality was likely putting people off. Now you might certainly have features about your face that are aesthetically unfortunate but there's not much you can do about that outside of terrifying surgery. What you can do is focus on other things you can improve. Wha…
/r/ExRedPill05/05/24 12:39 AM
–

because its something someone has control over, compared to blaming something one doesn't have control over. Obviously the examples you give are not a very sensitive way of putting it. While I appreciate its not everyone and there are definitely unfair outcomes in how dating works, especially for young men and dating apps, there are examples of people that blame everything except themselves for their relationship status and it can be a harmful spiral of self-pity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 11:51 PM
1

because its something someone has control over, compared to blaming something one doesn't have control over. Obviously the examples you give are not a very sensitive way of putting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 11:41 PM
2

The only relationship advice my dad ever gave me was when I was hysterically sobbing in a room for a whole day about an event that broke my heart and he said: don't chase women lad He may have said in part because my mother left him just a few years before which broke his heart, what little of it he had as an emotional cripple. The advice he gave me is in such discord with social standards that it, along with my general fear of forming relationships and potentially causing other people the hurt …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 10:08 PM
7

Well maybe I'm not typical traffic, idk. I just saw someone I spoke to once engaged in this community and it looked like chatting in here would be interesting. I often feel like the discord in gender perspectives results in unnecessary arguments. How society is structured usually gifts us only half of a truth in the perspective we get and its in sharing those perspectives and listening to one another that we get the whole truth and are better able to understand one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:13 AM
7

I have also seen multiple times that it's scumbaggy to befriend women in the hopes of asking them out. I think this is a misunderstanding. The idea should be that you should always initially be making friends for the sake of making friends. That's just a healthy mindset. Its extremely healthy for men to have friends that are women. Some of those friendships might turn into relationships but you don't get into the friendship assuming that is the end goal. You talk to people to find out who they a…
/r/ExRedPill03/05/24 02:56 AM
21

It can be from the men they rejected, the men they chose not to go on a second date with, the men they broke up with, etc. And I think just about every woman can relate to being creeped on by some older man when they were a child. Ahhhhhh, that is very true, thank you for correcting my biased perspective. Although I imagine potentially poor choices don't help and might contribute to the mildly pervasive idea/impression that "pretty much all men" are bad people. You're quite right in identifying …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:47 AM
2

you shouldn't assume so much about random online people. We're all humans and we all have unknown backgrounds that contribute to how we feel. I appreciate that some people are judgey and judge other people by their own standards which I personally think is unfair but its to repeat their sin to single them out and do the same to them. I share a similar view in that I don't think age gap relationships have to be exploitative (although obviously some numbers are hard limits), but it matters that th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:38 AM
1

I would assert that many men are angry about the result of the asymmetry of puberty. Girls hit it first, get interested in guys but are surrounded by entirely immature guys, so often they date up. Then guys hit puberty and get interested in girls but many of their peers are already looking elsewhere. This creates this toxic environment when men feel like they're playing catch up their entire teenage lives which breeds this resentment, misogyny and entitlement about feeling like victims and that …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:29 AM
46

in my experience, many women make some truly awful early relationship choices which possibly skews their assessment of men in general. So I would argue on the averages that its a biased sample versus no sample at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:23 AM
1

I genuinely don't think anyone is that "mad". The internet just amplifies the idea of judging "bad people" and looking for reasons why a given person shouldn't be given attention. So its a natural consequence that a western man that moves east to get into a relationship would be judged by the anglo-sphere. I feel like the missing context here is that the "passport bros" who do this are then advertising themselves doing this online in the anglosphere and that's when they're judged. I would figure…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:21 AM
1

Individually people have different interests and attractions. Individually there is free will which further compounds the unpredictability. So yes. I agree that a formula/concept is not 100% effective/full proof. And that this will not work every time. But you even agreed that it can work. That it does work. And that it is true sometimes. I think when it comes to "women" or "men" that each human is so unique that its hard to create a model that can predict their behaviour. I agree with your poin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 12:35 AM
2

I think everyone has multiple types. So fixating on one specific form is misrepresenting the problem space.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:46 PM
–

ChatGPT has been shown to be intentionally programmed as anti-men and pro woman. wut?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:44 PM
1

You don't need to make this about men and women, men are capable of the same thing in relationships. This is just a narcissistic tactic for controlling people and you are perceiving it this way because in every relationship you've had with a narcissistic person, the narcissist has happened to be a woman. If you were bi then I'm sure you could quite as easily find men who do the same thing. I appreciate that its hard and you're hurting but please do your best to push this entirely justified ire o…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:39 PM
1

My whole post is about in general. I get that and I'm trying to dissuade you from the notion. Given the insane quantity of people and our limited capacity for understanding as humans there is almost nothing you can state which is useful or accurate about ~3 billion of the people on this planet that are women. If you're trying to understand all women for the purpose of your personal relations then its pointless, you're only ever going to interact with a tiny fraction of these people. In terms of …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:24 PM
1

There's many women out there who are looking for the same thing and it works out when those two find each other. The issues occur when the people who have different expectations get together without being upfront about them. Personally I find the culture around being obtuse around sex (i.e. don't be explicit about what you want because it "ruins the moment") is inherently harmful because it can lead to these mismatched expectations. But many people seem to pick up their social cues around how re…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 10:10 PM
1

yeah its not bad, I like the social aspect of it a bit more due to my background in breaking meaning I prefer solo dancing. Despite being cis my favourite dancing partner is this dude that is learning to "follow" but is totally up for wild experimentation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 08:01 PM
1

OH yea, highly recommend that, its an absolutely brilliant way to meet women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 07:55 PM
1

may I recommend trying out breakdancing. It is exceptionally expressive because its fundamental roots are a dance off between two people where "anything goes".
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 07:26 PM
1

I agree that the holistic benefits of going to the gym combined with the physical benefits make it a worthwhile pursuit for many men. As someone who has always engaged in an innately productive physical activity (dancing) I guess I've always been a touch elitist about going to the gym for the sake of just moving around instead of picking something with a clearer pay off and I should temper that judgement better.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:36 PM
1

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend, the whole "anorexia for boys" is just a joke that is based on an extreme abstraction, I appreciate it moves away from the truth to obtain an edgy level of humour. I totally appreciate its something that really works for some people. If anything I just want to encourage people heavily into it, to maybe better accept themselves and not see themselves as failures if they're not built out like the hulk. Some women don't like the muscle but I fear some men fool the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:22 PM
1

Whhaaaa… so I guess since I have a desk job I shouldn’t do anything physical? no, if its your connection with physical activity then its healthy. I agree. I just meant that if it takes someone away from another form of exercise they already do, then it might be unhealthy, given that it has an extreme focus on personal physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:16 PM
1

I think if we look at the advent of "creepy pms" then we see the mind-knot of troubled young men thinking trying anything is better than trying nothing. 100's of terrible approaches that talk only in their terms: e.g. "u wan sum fuk bby?" I think a lot of that sort of misogynistic insanity is fuelled by manifesting rejection into misogyny, that the problem is "women" and how they approach sex. This is what troubles me about OP, they're trying to define a broad abstract of "women" and I'm not con…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:13 PM
0

It’s not anorexia for boys because building muscle is healthy. if you're not doing anything with it then its not. Its self-body issues manifested through physical activity in an unhealthy way. If its the case that a given person wouldn't exercise unless they were building muscle then you're right, but if this person would otherwise be playing football or dancing then its arguably less healthy, given the sociability and expression that a team game or dancing might have. Knowing my body was desira…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:09 PM
1

But don’t waste time seeking a “perfect formula” because unless you have unlocked the secrets of the human mind, the grand theory of everything, it doesn’t exist. Agreed. Trying more in more places with more people is likely a stronger strategy than trying to build yourself into a person that has better odds in one single attempt. Rejection is a painful experience though, so I can understand why young men are reticent to employ a strategy that might maximise the rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:59 PM
1

You agree that muscular physique is an attractive attribute when it comes to a woman’s attraction (IN GENERAL). I said the fashion industry uses it to success in advertising. That's the only literal truth in that statement. It isn't inherently clear if that is a reliable proxy for generally assessing what women find attractive. It is a "conventional" wisdom but its not something we can easily test. It might simply be that some people really go for it and everyone else thinks its ok, and that's e…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:46 PM
1

Like many things in dating (where young men seek advice) I think the matter is approached too much like achievement hunting in a video game or “a quest”. They take something quite potentially nuanced and fuzzy and want it in simple terms “so if I do this I win?” Because their outlook and general approach to life is very similar. They like the pursuit of life where doing X leads to Y predictable outcome. So even if that’s not the case, they will try to reinterpret the matter as if it is. Its exac…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:17 PM
0

You are saying that women do not prefer men with muscles (either hypertrophy (building muscles mass/bigger muscles) OR the minimalist version of hypertrophy (definition/ripped/lean) IN GENERAL? Its a difficult question because we're asking a lot of things. If we're asking if a single still of a ripped guy on a billboard is the most appealing image then I would think you're probably right. Albeit that is assuming that the fashion industry is correct when it chooses to do that as I am deferring to…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:04 PM
1

ah, that makes sense <3.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:48 PM
1

So studies will go “women tend to select these muscular men more than those who are not.” Okay cool. Are we isolating the fact that muscular men tend to be more confident? Tend to be better groomed and dressed? Tend to be less reclusive owing to their fitness habits? Do we know for sure, the muscles are the most relevant factor here? You bring up excellent points in that there are aspects around building muscle that might have greater value, the confidence, the activity and the grooming. I belie…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:44 PM
1

I think when a guy tries to turn himself into a mammal a mammal? We're all mammals, that's our taxonomy. Did you mean something else?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:34 PM
1

I’m currently processing my own personal theory for hypertrophy (building muscle mass/bigger muscles). My theory is that its anorexia for boys. It stems from self-body issues and is inspired by somewhat unrealistic goals which are only obtainable by an obsession with body image and a gruelling regimen that has risks if people take short cuts (e.g. steroid abuse). Women in general (not all) prefer men with hypertrophy (building muscle mass/bigger muscles) than without it. That's not my experience…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:24 PM
–

being an actual dad is about a lot more than simply having sex. Ask adopted kids from troubled backgrounds who their "real" dad is. I get that a lot of men struggle with the idea that they might be raising someone else's baby, but that's a shame driven process as opposed to a process that focuses on the best outcomes for the kid, or the long term benefits of being an actual "dad". The real question is about trust in the relationship and if the two "parents" are being honest with each other. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 03:12 PM
15

Dating would be a lot easier if people were honest up front about what they want. The poly/BDSM community understand this and I've met people from that community who are extremely straight up about what they want from an interaction and are comfortable talking about it. The issue with "normies" is that they're not comfortable talking about that and a lot of relationships start with each player keeping their cards close to their chest instead of playing with their cards up so everyone knows where…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 02:41 PM
1

The very top level of physical attraction is like the least important part of the required characteristics for a healthy relationship, so I cannot agree. Pretty is a dime a dozen, so if you use physical attraction as your primary criteria for picking a partner you're going to get a broad range of unreliable results. Save yourself a lot of effort by working out who you want as opposed to what you want. For me, a sense of independence, curiosity, kindness and rebelliousness backed by a realistic a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 02:32 PM
–

A decade of devaluing and demeaning men and you're surprised at the outcome? wat?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 05:05 PM
–

bit of a broad statement. Just bounce up to people and start talking (while being polite). Works on all humans, regardless of generation.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 05:04 PM
–

there's a lot of people out there, I assume your technique for finding them is just resulting in poor candidates. There's always been, at every moment of time, a series of men and women who represent every position on the opinion spectrum that is possible. There are men and women that like to fuck around, there are men and women that are strictly mono, there are men and women that believe inherently in egalitarianism, there's men and women that want to financially dominate their partner and men …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 05:03 PM
13

Here's a paper that seeks to define what a healthy relationship is. I've inlined a table referenced by the paper of some of the desirable aspects for a healthy relationship (along with a ranking score that I don't quite understand as I've not read the paper yet): Effective communication 31 Respect 21 Trust 18 Promotes the growth and well-being of individuals in the relationships 14 Honesty and openness 14 Encouragement/support 14 Effective conflict management and problem-solving 13 A sense of gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:43 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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