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isabeavis Archive

View 0 posts and 110 comments by isabeavis on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

20-30 bucks every 6-8 months, with smaller root touch-ups. For mine it's $150-$200 and root touch ups every 4 weeks because apparently my hair grows at the speed of light. I also have very dark brown/chestnut hair so the grey shows easily. And boxed bye looks like boxed dye. You get what you pay for, imho. I've been toying with the idea of letting it grow out as I have no need to look young - I'm turning 40 in a couple of years. I still have no wrinkles and am fit and thin so I think I could pul…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/17 03:55 PM
5

I specifically mentioned feeling inadequate and under prepared, he said everybody has those concerns. Your husband is correct here. No one is really prepared for a child. I mean, I wanted children more than anything else and I still wasn't fully prepared for the birth of my first. To address some of your other concerns: Your body will change, but probably not in the way you're thinking. For example, apart from some now very faint scars on my breasts (I went from a small A cup to a DD in a matter…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/17 04:57 PM
3

This is great advice. I was similar in my early 20s; very clingy and weirdly emotional but I could never figure out why. After a lot of money spent on therapy, I have a very clear understanding of why I was that way (at the time, there weren't the online resources that there are now).
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/17 01:48 PM
1

OPI has a gel nail kit that I use and it seems to last the longest of all the ones I've tried. Before I had kids I would just get a regular manicure almost every week; you should be able to find a good place at a decent price near you (and also ask around, a lot of people will do it from their homes - I went to a lovely lady in my neighborhood and she would only charge $15 every time since I went every week).
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/17 03:50 PM
2

Yeah, I found the narrative annoying, but the messages were great once you sifted through it. The friend who takes 'notes' saved it for me.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/17 07:54 PM
1

I love Beef Wellington and this is a great recipe ! I would only add to make sure to take a paper towel and really dry off your beef and onion/mushroom mixture otherwise it will make your pastry soggy. Definitely a crowd favourite!
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/17 01:30 PM
3

It might be The Queen's Code. I have just finished it and was debating posting about it as it resonated with me in a way that Laura Doyle's books didn't. OP - I'm truly happy that you have found your captain!
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/17 01:12 PM
3

I was going to write essentially this. My husband was really uncomfortable with co-sleeping because he was afraid of hurting the baby (rolling over in your sleep or something), so I had them in a bassinet right beside me until about 4 ish months. It helped a lot. In the beginning it's easy to just live in your PJs; so I would make a conscious effort to get dressed every day. I know it sounds silly, but when you're sleep deprived, and feel gross because your body is leaking all sorts of stuff, st…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/17 02:18 PM
2

Other commenters have already touched on finding out food preferences/allergies (although I guess you might already know all of this since it's family!). Make sure your guest room is clear of papers and clutter (I know in mine it tends to be a dumping ground when we have no guests). Add a nice candle. Make sure the sheets are freshly washed (seems obvious but I have sometime stayed at homes where the sheets are obviously NOT washed). A bouquet of fresh flowers is a nice touch. A little basket wi…
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/17 07:17 PM
2

I feel like I need to watch youtube more! ha! There is clearly more there than I thought! (If I look at my current youtube favorites it's all 'what is the perfect way to roast a chicken', and 'how to french braid your hair' and 'how to change the filter on a furnace').
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/17 07:24 PM
5

I think it's important not to paint everyone with the same brush, and to acknowledge that there's a spectrum. I work with many, many women who are all about their careers, who are not unhappy or dissatisfied with their lives. Not all women want babies and marriage. Just like not all men want those things. I work with many, many women who manage to balance work and family (Myself included; my career is fulfilling but because I have children, it's not progressing. However, that doesn't make it any…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/17 07:01 PM
4

If that was your point, I agree with it, however it wasn't very clear.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/17 06:23 PM
7

Furthermore, poor women have always worked Yes, I know that. My point was equal pay for equal work, which is why I said, 'equal pay for equal work'. And I should have specified higher education in terms of recent history; but I was thinking more 'the last 500 years or so'. For most of that time, women have not been allowed to be educated in the same way as men. Other than that, I would like to point out that this is an anti-feminist sub. I disagree. This is a sub for anyone who has a view, that …
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/17 06:21 PM
25

Careers are important, but relationships are what matter. It's important to know this so we don't end up 32 years old on a date with a guy trying to impress him with our salary and our overpriced handbags. Uh, some people have very fulfilling careers AND fulfilling relationships, and some women have no desire to have children or be married (just like some men don't have this desire either). And, just because you have a fulfilling career, doesn't mean you are also some kind of desperate single pe…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/17 04:09 PM
1

That never happened to me (to my husband's disappointment); but I spent my early 30s either pregnant or breastfeeding and then hormonal birth control which I know lowers my libido but my options are that, or a hysterectomy (I have adenomyosis). Clearly, I have no answered your question. None of my friends experienced this (but we were all pregnant and/or breastfeeding from about 29-35 so it's hard to tell).
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/17 08:04 PM
2

I have about six close girl friends from high school and uh, a lot of friends. I move overseas for my work for long stretches of time (years), and some people don't like being friends with me, since they see putting effort into a friendship a bit of a waste (even though I do always come back). Because of the nature of my work, I tend to make a lot of friends in the workplace. We all understand the high pressure situations, and in some places, you don't have a lot of freedom of movement so you ha…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/17 01:19 PM
1

Thank you for this post. I don't always agree with you (I think we're pretty opposed in many ways), but this made me dab my eyes a little at work. My husband is trying to manage his depression and addiction, and it's been hard on me. I want to be supportive and not add to his stress, but carrying all this weight on my own is exhausting, demanding, and impacts my ability to be a fully engaged parent (since a lot of my energy is spent walking on eggshells and making sure the kids don't trigger him…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/17 03:31 PM
1

What kind of hours does your bf work? Is he stressed about something else and just focusing on little things as an easy to way to vent? Why can't he take out the recycling if it bothers him so much? It def sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now and honestly the chicken thing is weird.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/17 02:03 PM
16

I personally think nothing comes without sacrifice. You cannot have a superstar career and be a superstar mom. You cannot live in London with a mediocre job and expect to have a beautiful house in Zone 1. You cannot be a public figure and have complete privacy. So, if you are unwilling to do/have B, you should not pursue A. For me, being a mediocre mom wasn't an option (I want to be a great mom), so I have sacrificed a lot of advancement at work. I like having a disposable income in order to tak…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/17 08:36 PM
3

Yes, this. I suspect my own husband feels this way but was raised to never admit to it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/17 01:04 PM
6

I've seen both traits in both sexes. My own mother is extremely hypergamous. At the very smallest sign of trouble, she leaves. She's currently on husband number 5 I think (I stopped counting). She's also an alcoholic and a narcissist. But, her father (my grandfather) was the same. Having grown up with this, I think I swing naturally to the opposite because I saw how damaging it was. For the last three years, my own husband has been going through his own struggles (depression, addiction (cigarett…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/17 01:00 PM
1

Well, for big things like trips, and when your finances are tied together, it's just normal to discuss these things. If I want to buy myself a book on amazon, I don't 'ask' my husband if I can do that. I make a judgement call based on what I know is our normal operating budget. But, I'm also smart with money (and so if my husband) and so we've had no reason to monitor each other on little expenses.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/17 12:49 PM
1

But... why? I'm genuinely curious. If you need milk and you need to stop to get it, why do you need permission for that?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/17 12:46 PM
9

This isn't really a TRP issue. It's an issue of basic kindness and consideration. I know of basically zero people in my life who follow TRP or RPW ideologies (most men and women I know would say they are feminists), and no one I know would behave this way with their spouse. I like to go to Europe once a year in the fall with a friend and my husband likes to take a ski trip in the winter with his friends. Before we plan either of these activities, we consult each other on costs and timing. Out of…
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/17 01:31 PM
2

Feminism also doesn't promote this kind of behaviour. I see this as a basic 'kindness and consideration' thing. There are jerks in TRP, just like there are jerks who are feminist but it doesn't mean either one of those ideologies promotes being a jerk.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/17 01:28 PM
7

I would give it three dates; if you don't want to kiss him at the end of that, then I wouldn't force it any more and just be honest with the guy. I mean, you could have a relationship with this person and hope that if you fake it long enough it will spark eventually; but the flip side of that is that it may never spark for you and you're in a committed LTR with someone and you're maybe living together and getting out of that will be much harder than just ending it early.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 01:34 PM
2

Something like "I feel ____ when you ____" ? Though I feel that is blaming? They make you do this a lot in marriage counselling, and yeah, it's not effective. It just makes the other person feel like crap and that everything they do is wrong. If you read Laura Doyle's books she gives examples of how to do this, but I just can't think of any right now! The basic principle is; figure out what you really want. So, if you're angry because your husband didn't do the laundry (again). You feel like you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 12:54 PM
2

Well, logically, men know that women go to the bathroom. We have bodies, we are not magical unicorns. Once you live together, there is not much you can 'hide'. I mean, you can be polite about it, but you can't hide it. My husband has seen me give birth twice; I'm pretty sure there is nothing he hasn't seen at this point after having lived together for 10 years. I once had the worst food poisoning of my life in Beijing and had to be brought to the hospital because I was so dehydrated. I had colla…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/17 12:28 PM
2

Uh, yes. I was on my own for 10 years before getting married and am quite successful in my own right and could, if need be, fully support myself and my children on my own.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/17 01:14 PM
3

Well, you're only abroad for one year. With such a fixed period of time I would just concentrate on your studies, and on exploring the country you're in. Try to make friends outside your uni circle (since it seems they aren't really compatible with your values). Join a walking group, or do a photography class in the evenings. There are a lot of ways to meet local people and expand your circle. For this guy who thinks he's your boyfriend, just keep making it clear that you value his friendship, b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/17 01:11 PM
1

I'm not sure, because everyone is different. But things that help me (and that partner has been supportive of), is writing letters. I'm a pretty good writer and cam often express things in writing that I can't verbalize. So, now I write letters. He reads them and always says thank you, and then addresses whatever is in the letter. Sometimes I will tell him I need to go to a different room to think and he's ok with that too (as long as I come back! lol). But, it's a two way street. I have been in…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/17 08:00 PM
6

So, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you're still very young. You have so much time still to meet someone. You can also switch jobs if you want to with the skills and experience you gain at this current place of work. Having a career is important for a number of reasons, some of which are: You learn valuable social skills. You learn the value of teamwork. You learn to meet deadlines and organize your time. These will help you manage your home in the future should you wish to be a…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/17 07:46 PM
2

You can actually break even the strongest grip if you know how. I get self-defense training as part of my job and we learn this, as well as how to disarm someone and how to deflect knife attacks. It's emotionally intense, and honestly the end goal is not to fight, but to run away and make as much noise as possible because those are your best bets for staying alive.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/17 01:15 PM
9

Eh - this is a common RP piece of advice. Laura Doyle talks about this in her books. Ask for what you want ("I want to be saved!", not HOW you want it ("I want you to kill the dragon with the steel sword, not the iron one!"). While in principle, I'm with you on this, in practice (at least in my own marriage) what works better is the Laura Doyle way, no matter how counter-intuitive it is for me. "I would really love a break from cooking next week." works better than, "I'm really tired of making d…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/17 01:10 PM
6

This seems like a form of 'fight or flight'. A lot of people with traumatic childhoods have this. Emotions=bad so you just learn to never have emotions. It's a survival mechanism of sorts. Therapy could help. I have a narcissistic mother, and honestly, I was like this most of my life. Just... no emotions. When something bothered me, I couldn't even articulate why I was bothered, or really, that I was bothered, or angry, or sad. It's a process, but I'm getting better now.
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/17 12:56 PM
11

This is good advice, and I would add that's it not really easy to move out once you're living together. You'll be tied to a lease, you'll have bought communal things. It's not just like, oh, I'm leaving. It's really hard. Once you're living together, he basically has everything he wants. In your situation, I would suggest exploring the option of moving in once the wedding date is already set. Then, you've started booking thing, it's happening, and you still get to live together for 6-8 months pr…
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/17 12:23 PM
9

And while you are moving through the grief, I'd recommend time-boxing it. Give yourself a month, or however long you feel you need, and just spend that time processing the whole thing. Write letters to those guys, burn the letters. Write out what you learned about yourself, how you grew, and what you'll do next time. Write out exactly what you want in your next relationship, exactly what the guy looks and acts like. Set your intention. Run more. Go to yoga. Bake a low-carb lasagne. Call your par…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/17 03:53 PM
2

Eyebrows are low maintenance due to overplucking in the 90s, so actually, I have to fill them in a little with a brow pencil. Legs & armpits shaved every other day in the shower (sometimes I'll get my legs waxed in the summer). I sugar my own bikini line (NOT brazillian though). It took practice but now I'm pretty good at it, and I keep the rest trimmed with a little trimmer. Husband doesn't seem to notice or care if I neglect all of these for many months at a time, but other than right after I …
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/17 03:38 PM
2

lol - i'm not in the habit of spending time in the bathroom with him (there are things that DO ruin intimacy). But yeah, with an ipad usually, playing candy crush or reading the news. If all my girlfriends are to be believed, this is common post-kids.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 08:17 PM
4

You would honestly know all of that just by spending lots of time, or trips, with your SO. Seriously. I knew all of those things before we moved in together. Also, those things change. Like, now that we have kids, my husband magically needs to spend like 10x more time in the bathroom than before kids.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 07:31 PM
2

I wish I could upvote your comment 1000 times. Also, I think this article is a good read and has some very good points. I lived with my husband before we got engaged, and I regret it. He became complacent; he already HAD everything he wanted, so why get married? In the end, I had to give an ultimatum.
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/17 05:37 PM
2

I didn't read the original post originally (but I did just now), and I'm happy that you and your husband are finding a way to navigate through this hard time together. Also, I love your idea for the morning routine! So clever!
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/17 12:49 PM
1

fundamental self-respect. Very difficult to define but you know it when you see it, and you definitely know it by its absence. A man who knows who he is and what he wants; takes responsibility for his own happiness; seeks to earn his own admiration before anyone else's; invests his deepest ego and sense of pride in nothing transient or shallow or worldly but in his own efforts and virtue full of forward momentum. This is often manifested as "ambition" but more fundamentally a man who is always s…
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 03:01 PM
1

Those were all my reasons too (also in Canada). I was the first to graduate on both sides of my family, and I know that should my marriage dissolve, I still have earning power (my own mother left university to get married and when she left my dad she was stuck for 5+ years in low-paying jobs - I didn't want that to happen to me). So YES, OP, finish your degree! edited because words
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/17 12:54 PM
9

So yes, the mental workload is real and exhausting. When both people are working it is absolutely not fair that men leave this completely to their wives because here's the thing, men are smart and capable. They have complex jobs where they use their brains every single day! They are capable of learning! I was not born knowing how to do these things, I learned them. I made an effort. This abdication of any responsibilities towards the home drives me bananas. If my husband and I both work demandin…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/17 01:49 PM
13

Let's imagine a traditional division of labor. The wife is a stay at home mom, the husband works. The wife has the mental load of dealing with the children and household chores, but the husband has the mental load of managing finances, his responsibilities at work, house maintenance, vacation/weekend planning, and a lot of overall family direction decisions. Yes, but the article is about when both people are working, but the mental load of the household maintenance is shouldered by the woman. Ab…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/17 12:49 PM
1

Yeah, that just sounds like a dysfunctional family dynamic and not, you know, the result of some evil woman preying on an innocent man. I come from a dysfunctional family and it's tough to break patterns that formed in your childhood. It's good that you keep holding space for him to show him what a loving relationship can look like. I would try to avoid falling into the trap of 'mothering' him too much though; if you also work then it's unreasonable for you to also do all of the housework and co…
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/17 12:32 PM
2

Welcome to this sub! Some comments: I feel such an immense resentment for whichever women tore him down that I have trouble letting it go. It could be his own parents, potentially your future MIL and FIL. Most people learn relationship dynamics from their parents. I love wearing dresses and skirts but dislike the social stigma and harassment that feminists inevitably impart when I face them in public. Where on earth do you live? I have been wearing skirts and dresses and makeup for my whole life…
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/17 03:35 PM
1

No, it's Internet Relay Chat, an old program for chat back in the day. Clearly, I'm old. lol
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/17 02:16 PM
1

I love this channel on youtube : School of Life It's curated/moderated by Alain de Botton I believe (or, he is a frequent contributor). He's one of my favorite modern philosophers.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/17 12:54 PM
1

Is this like new IRC?
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/17 12:41 PM
1

Yes - I do currently meditate at home :) But, I think being away from the kids and chores etc. in a space where it's all women would feel very powerful to me.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/17 02:11 PM
1

I would love to go to a woman's meditation/yoga retreat but right now we just don't have the funds (squirrels got into our attic and we need to re-insulate plus replace all the electrical because they chewed through the wires, plus summer camps, plus a burst pipe in the basement... oh life, it happens all at once sometimes). But one day :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/17 02:01 PM
1

Meditation changed my life. Literally. It's so powerful.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/17 01:57 PM
2

At first, I came here to scoff, but 18 months later I'm happier than I've ever been. Funny, that.
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/17 01:53 PM
4

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a SAHW and/or SAHM, but, you also have to be your own person; with interests and hobbies and a good work ethic (because running a home and being a mother isn't easy). Most men won't be attracted to someone they see as needy. You'll learn a lot from working at a 'regular 9 to 5' job for a while (how to be well-presented, how to follow a routine, how to organize your time, how to follow direction to ensure good corporate outcomes, how to meet deadlines, ho…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/17 01:36 PM
20

I just had flashbacks of my youngest, who loved to take off her diaper in the night to smear poop all over herself and her crib. I thought I had blocked that from my memory. Protip: Put the PJ and diaper on backwards so they can't take it off.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/17 01:26 PM
1

I have suggested he go see our family doctor but he refuses. He has a very toxic boss right now but is switching positions at the end of the summer, so I'm just trying to stay positive and supportive until then to see if it's just perhaps his work environment (this started a couple years ago when he started working with this person). Fingers crossed. He is normally very confident and upbeat, which was a big attraction for me in the beginning, so I'm hoping this will pass.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/17 04:50 PM
1

I agree with your comment and just wanted to say thank you for the link you provided!
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/17 04:41 PM
1

To be honest, I'm pretty discouraged. This sub has encouraged me to be my best me, and over the last 12-18 months I have been making a lot of very positive changes. I am always well-presented, I maintain my body and my mind. I have limited screen time and TV time at home for myself so that I have more time to keep the house clean and read interesting books. I have reduced my nagging by 99%, I am an amazing homemaker on top of having a great job. I schedule fun family activities that I have no en…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/17 02:48 PM
3

but others just look very childlike for a long time I still get asked for ID when buying alcohol and I'm almost 37. I also agree with your previous comment; in my early 20s I had acne, and didn't know how to wear makeup or do my hair to accentuate my best qualities. I couldn't afford nice clothes. Now, in my mid-late 30s, I look better than I ever have. I've had two kids and honestly you would never know to look at me. If I go out without my husband (with some girlfriends) other men always flirt…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/17 01:56 PM
6

I'm also pretty much as liberal as they come (and from Canada, where being liberal is pretty much being a socialist by American standards). However, I've never seen that as a negative here or in implementing RPW philosophies in my marriage. I found this sub about 18 months ago and lurked and read sidebar stuff for a LONG time before starting to post. It's helped me immeasurably in my personal life, mostly, the concept of no one is here to make me happy but myself and that I can't control or mold…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/17 01:24 PM
1

Instead, I erased the nasty text message I was planning on sending him and instead said, "LB tells me you didn't feed him this morning." To which he apologized and said he totally forgot, he had set an alarm but it didn't go off for whatever reason. I'm glad this worked for you, but if I had sent that text to my husband he would have seen it as passive aggressive snark and he would have been defensive and upset and seen it as another example of 'him not doing anything right'. However, we have a …
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/17 01:08 PM
2

And of all the regular posters in this sub, I tend to relate best to your posts, so I'm always happy to read your views. Ditto that!
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 06:45 PM
1

I completely agree with this.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 03:09 PM
2

This isn't any kind of feminism I've heard of; it's basically Gold Digging 101 to be honest. Don't talk to them about your relationship. They don't sound even remotely supportive of you and honestly, I wouldn't even be friends with women who had these kinds of values. I mean, yes, money is important insomuch that living paycheck to paycheck can be stressful on a relationship, but it's not the only thing that's important in life.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/17 02:58 PM
1

In North America, this is becoming less and less possible. Young people have to leave small town to follow jobs in bigger cities. There are less and less ways to support yourself in a small town; although there is a new wave of young people revitalizing small towns (which is great!), so maybe this dynamic will be different in 20-30 years. Very few people I know live near their parents or grandparents these days. My own grandparents live in small rural towns where I wouldn't be able to work, thus…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/17 02:47 PM
14

Do you absolutely have to live with her over the summer? I would just find other arrangements (why can't you live with your dad?), and limit your contact with her. The things you are describing are all signs of a classic narcissist and people like that will manipulate you forever if you allow it.
/r/RedPillWomen08/05/17 03:32 PM
2

This x100. I love the Lug Puddle Jumper bag for the airplane and transit time. You can fit soooo much in it and slides onto your suitcase handle.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 04:44 PM
1

So basically now I have to add Sicily to my list of places to go next time I'm in Italy! I tend to love Umbria (the rolling hills! I have a thing for rolling hills) and Tuscany.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 04:28 PM
1

From the US you can get some really cheap flights to Rome and with airbnb & tripadvisor, you're not paying an arm and leg for hotels. You should sign up for this email alert for cheap flights. I've found some amazing deals!!
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 04:18 PM
1

It is! In Nairobi you have to worry a bit more about crime (if you do ever go, DM me and I give you a better breakdown - I lived there for two years), but in the countryside the people are wonderful.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 04:13 PM
1

Yes! Kigali! But, it's not really for everyone. One of my best trips was to see the gorillas in Rwanda, and compared to other parts of Africa, you can walk around at night in Kigali with no problems. Isn't Zanzibar amazing!?!?! I LOVED it and went often. I never got to see much of Uganda other than Kampala because of the tense political climate. The Rift Valley & the Masai Mara in Kenya also stand out.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 04:09 PM
10

I feel everyone should try to get to London, Paris and Rome at least once. I mean, so much of modern history happened in these places. But, if you can get to Bruges (in Belgium), Prague, & Belfast too - those have been my most favorite (in Europe). I love Croatia (Dubrovnik is stunning) & Tokyo is just amazing in the best way possible. Cape Town, Sydney & Vancouver all have a similar vibe (laid back, sunny, mountains & ocean, good wine & beaches). In Asia, Bangkok & Hanoi (for the food!), Beijin…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 03:59 PM
1

I do have that book but I bought it when my girls were too young to really tell what their love language was; you've just reminded me that I should probably read it again as they're much older now. Mine are in school all day, so when I get them from the bus stop I immediately take them to the park for at least an hour (weather permitting) to unwind a bit and get them in the fresh air as much as possible. We also walk the dog as a family every night, so I feel they get plenty of exercise. Mostly,…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 03:33 PM
6

Extensively, as it's part of my job. I've also lived in the Europe, China & some parts of Africa. I think it's really important (and interesting!) to see other cultures. It changes your perspective (in a good way, I think), in addition to being just plain fascinating.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 03:27 PM
5

The Pioneer Woman website has a lot of 'cowboy' food that her husband likes (he's a rancher I think) and everything I've made from her recipes are really good. Smitten Kitchen is another one that has really great recipes. I also really like Pinch of Yum for recipes with an asian twist. Trigger warning though (she recently had a miscarriage at 23 weeks and she's been honest about her journey through grief on the blog so if you're sensitive or pregnant just beware that it's incredibly sad). This i…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 01:01 PM
5

When things were really tough (with a newborn and a toddler and a husband away at work), my baseline for a successful day was: Did I feed the kids? Yes? Success! Did I change their diapers and keep them warm? Yes? Success! Did I comfort them when they were upset? Yes? Success! Things will be hard for the next little while, but don't feel bad about living up to expectations that others are setting. My mantra was 'this too shall pass', and it did!
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/17 12:47 PM
4

I second the playgroup suggestion, and to try to get out in the fresh air as much as possible. It seems silly but a walk outside always makes such a difference. I'm a routine person, so having a set routine every day would help me in your situation (even a simple routine like: Monday mornings I do the grocery shopping, Tuesday afternoon I do laundry, Wednesday morning is playgroup, every morning from 9-10 I put the toddler in a stroller and walk around, every Friday morning I find a new area of …
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/17 08:00 PM
3

I was just brainwashed into thinking the ideal woman is one who makes a ton of money and has all these "degrees" when none of that really matters. So which one is it? In order to not be dependent, women must get degrees and make money. Yet, you say that those things don't matter? Your argument isn't really clear.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/17 03:58 PM
4

To say that an education is wasted on all women based of your own personal (and limited) experience is a little far-fetched. An ideal woman (or person, really) is one who knows their own mind and has the strength of conviction to live the life they want with integrity. Whether that's being a SAHM or working as a CEO with a "fancy degree" and making lots of money.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/17 03:33 PM
2

Well, if you were my daughter and you were telling me about this I would wonder if he would be expecting something in return for shelling out $$$ on a flight (I mean, are we talking a couple hundred dollars or a thousand?), and be careful that YOU don't feel obligated to go farther than you want to (sex-wise) out of guilt. Otherwise, enjoy the dates!
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/17 01:48 PM
1

My mother didn't have a career and was left in her 30s. Same, except my mom left my dad. She was a SAHM before and then struggled for a lot of years afterwards to get her foot into the workforce and gain enough experience to get a decent job. That really made an impression on me; and my mom always insisted that I be able to support myself, that I should be able to walk away and not have to struggle. It made me not really trust marriage as the safe space that it should be. I really wanted to be a…
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/17 12:57 PM
1

I also have a very emotionally manipulative mom - I'm sorry you had to go through that. My best childhood memories are also with my dad!
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/17 12:31 PM
6

My parents divorced when I was five, and I don't really remember anything from before they divorced, and so I think the impact was pretty minimal. My parents never bad-mouthed each other. My mom did move across the country to deny my father any kind of access knowing he couldn't follow (he was in the military), and once I turned 20 all the bad stuff came out but by then I was adult enough to deal with it I think. I had social issues growing up, however this was due to my mom being a classic narc…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/17 08:18 PM
14

I'm perplexed that women seem to be so different based on geography because I don't know nor haven't really encountered any women like the ones in your article or like the ones you mention in your comment, and I've lived and traveled to most parts of the world. My observation is that children are most happy when their parents are happy. I feel like your friends are unhappy (and this could be because of reasons that go back to their childhoods) and they had families because they thought it would …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/17 03:58 PM
4

Thanks for this! I have been wanting to start lifting for a while. What would you recommend for an absolute beginner? (I'm 36 with two kids, so can't necessarily get away for hours at the gym...)
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/17 03:17 PM
3

This month I'm going through the book The Magic, it's a 30-day gratitude practice. I did it about a year ago and it was amazing. It felt weird at first, but when your focus is on being grateful, it changes your perspective and attitude towards lots of things. I'm doing better at work since I started a gratitude journal (and got promoted), I'm a better parent, I'm happier and more relaxed, my home feels more peaceful. I can't recommend it enough.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/17 01:49 PM
2

Yes to the pedicure! It will make you feel great and is something I do regularly for self-care. A little time away from home, a foot massage, and pretty toes that are ready for cute sandals!
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/17 01:45 PM
1

(No matter what I do, I think one thing I need to work on is becoming more independent--I moved to a new city in September and don't have many friends here, especially female friends (I work in a male-dominated industry). Hopefully if I get more friends/hobbies of my own I'll feel less needy in our relationship.) This rings a big bell for me. I moved to a different country (in Europe) to go to university and I started dating someone almost immediately after moving. Because I was new to this city…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/17 04:02 PM
10

Self-care Make an appointment to get my roots done and my ends trimmed. (I've been delaying because of the cost, my hairdresser charges $250 for this), but my grays are getting harder and harder to ignore!) Take an epsom salt bath once a week. Relationship/Marriage Shift my focus to all the good things my husband does, instead of what he doesn't do. Health & Wellness Stop biting my nails. This was a lifelong bad habit that I broke a couple years ago but over Christmas I started again due to a ve…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/17 02:39 PM
4

With a small space, don't be afraid to use your vertical space! (shelves above doors etc.)
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/17 12:30 PM
5

Those are all great things I wish I had done in my early 20s! I copied them to give to my daughters :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/17 12:26 PM
1

It's the one in the Silver Palate cookbook (one of the best cookbooks out there!). If you're feeding a crowd, the Chicken Marbella is ALWAYS a hit.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/17 12:20 PM
1

I don't see these things as 'feminine', more just 'general life skills'. I'm a great cook. I can open the fridge and come up with a delicious meal with what's in there and we don't often eat out because I can usually make better at home. I can sew, knit and crochet. I often make skirts and dresses for my daughters and crochet blankets, hats & scarves. I'm also really good at refinishing furniture. I'm good at interior design and my home always looks good (people who visit always comment on how w…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/17 06:38 PM
1

I remember when I was pregnant with my first baby, I became weirdly obsessed with how to fold fitted sheet (and also, finding the recipe for the perfect chocolate chips cookies). I would fold them over and over and watch online tutorials and now I'm really good at it! It's so satisfying to be able to do it properly!
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/17 06:19 PM
1

I want to marry him so badly but I hate the thought of becoming one of those women who essentially makes their man propose. I was one of those. It worked out for me. I was 28 and wanted kids and we had been living together for a couple years. It was kind of a 'shit or get off the pot' thing. My husband is probably the most laid back person I know, and he would have been happy just living together and travelling until we were both 40 and trying to have a kid then, but I knew that wasn't for me. Y…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/17 04:18 PM
1

I would counter this with pretty much my whole social circle having their first babies in their early to mid 30s and absolutely none having any complications whatsoever and having normal pregnancies for 2nd (and 3rd) babies.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/17 04:10 PM
2

So, first of all, you are allowed to change your mind. But, you have to respect your husband if he stands firm with his choices too. Your options are to stay or leave (if you discover you feel really strongly about children). I have two kids. I wanted to be a mom from when I was 13. I knew with every cell in my body that I wanted kids. And it's literally STILL the hardest thing I've ever done. It's hard every single day. And yes, it's also wonderful and amazing, but that doesn't make the hard st…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 02:46 PM
6

It helps to know your husband's love language (there are five). Mine is all about touch and gifts. So, when he's stressed or angry, I try to pick up something I know he likes from the grocery store (Oh, hey! I found those chips you really like! or even new socks since he's always getting holes in his). When I walk by him, I touch his arm or ask if he needs a massage (he's really tall so he gets lots of back problems). I've learned that he never wants to talk about it unless he brings it up to me…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/17 02:12 PM
5

I gave an ultimatum. I had left a very good job to move with him overseas for his job (after living together for a year); my expectations were that he would propose soon afterwards. He didn't (probably because I kept crying about it). I was offered a better job back home, and I told him to decide because I was no longer playing house without some sort of security and commitment. He proposed. I wish I had followed the advice in the link below and just enjoyed not working and made improvements for…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/17 07:33 PM
3

I would second this. I made major diet changes a while ago due to an psoriasis outbreak (the things outlined above, and also I eliminated all dairy and alcohol), and I lost about 15 lbs over two months (I'm 5'1" and was 130 lbs so while 15 lbs may not sound like much on my frame it made a BIG visual impact). I have now added exercise (going up and down the stairs at work instead of the elevator, yoga classes), and I can tell that's making a difference too. As for the home; can you afford a house…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/17 07:07 PM
5

I honestly wish I had seen that advice 10 years ago.
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/17 02:24 PM
2

Great post (and very similar to how I organize my meal planning also). There's a great website and app that I use to see all the current flyers and that helps, although I'm not sure if it's just for Canadians or not. For me, since I'm working full-time, I tend to do most meal prep on the weekend if I can (lunch bowls for myself and my husband all get done on Sunday and put in the freezer, veggies get roasted on the weekend so they are ready to throw into a pasta sauce or omelettes during the wee…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/17 01:03 PM
1

I think they grew up together. Their parents are good friends and they're from the same little town. (In the book, anyway.) So, not ridiculous in that context. But yes, Bridget is a mess!
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 04:09 PM
3

It's a similar philosophy to 'dress for the job you want, not the job you have'. It works. It really does. (I'm in my mid-30s and have been in the workforce since my early 20s and honestly, people who are impeccably dressed and groomed will get better opportunities). That's not to say that I haven't gone to the pharmacy in my yoga pants and a dirty t-shirt after I've been up all night with a sick child - but you know, as a general rule, being well put together makes you feel better. When you fee…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 04:00 PM
2

I have two daughters and this is absolutely going to be how I frame my 'you should wait' talk. I mean, I can only frame it in a 'this was my experience' way, and hopefully my DH and I provide a solid family background so that they don't seek validation and love through sex. Exactly this! It really is amazing what you're willing to overlook or put up after having sex with someone, especially when the sex is really good. Even when it's not, it creates an intimacy that can misleads other emotions.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 03:39 PM
2

Coming from a non-religious upbringing (so, not having the religious imperative to wait for marriage), and having a circle of liberal, like-minded, atheist friends - this would also be my pro & con list. In my experience, I found having sex too soon really did create a false sense of attachment to someone I might not have dated more than 4-5 times otherwise. Literally years wasted in relationships that probably would not have happened if sex had not created that bond and weird sense of obligatio…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 01:15 PM
2

I planned my wedding, which took place in Canada, from Beijing (where we were living at the time for work), so there were natural constraints to what I could do. But, here are a couple points that I tell people when they ask for wedding advice: Hire a great photographer. More than what you think you can afford. I had to go on online portfolios and picked someone that I felt was a compromise between price and style. Big mistake. Huge. I now have NO wedding pictures that I like and only have one i…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/17 12:40 PM
3

It's funny how different upbringings can have that effect. I was raised by a single mother who found herself with limited choices after her divorce (she had been a SAHM) and she always pushed me to have a career and to never stay home; to always be able to walk away and provide for myself and my children. So I did that. Got a degree in Computer Science and have a great job. The whole time all I wanted was to stay at home with my children but I felt I would have been harshly judged if I had voice…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/17 04:21 PM
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