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itburnsss45 Archive

View 3 posts and 70 comments by itburnsss45 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Exactly!!
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 11:39 PM
3

They were immensely helpful to me so definitely worth powering through them asap! As long as he has all the important stuff that you need for the relationship to work out then I think give him a shot. Sometimes people just need the space and right conditions to grow.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 11:38 PM
1

Potentially. Maybe he didn't have enough motivation for doing this...?
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 02:32 PM
1

That was his parents' job. It isn't yours. Agree, but some parents are shitty and neglect their kids by not teaching them life lessons, no? Does it mean he shouldn't be given the opportunity to learn these things as an adult? When people are given the chance they can really step up. If only someone gives them a go.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 01:23 PM
2

Heya! I've been there, done that. My advice is that you have to 100% learn to step back so that he has the opportunity to have space to step up. Sometimes things might not get done, accept this might happen. In the learning process he might make mistakes and you need to let him make them (if they aren't too serious) this is how he will learn. In this process you are going to have to be really, really patient. It's pretty darn challenging but you can do it. If you find yourself getting inpatient …
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/23 01:17 PM
1

This topic has come up numerous times in this community and is also talked about in rp women's literature. It's not about ditching the other person at the first sign of trouble or giving in to grass is greener syndrome, which is what you are suggesting.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 03:02 AM
2

Yeah that's what I thought. My impression was that therapists are there to help you figure out what is going on in your internal thought processes and correct any incorrect ways of thinking. Not tell you what to do and/or tell you what you should or shouldn't be worried about. I might try journalling. I will see if it helps. See that's the thing. I get confused because I wonder if my gut feelings are actually not gut feelings but depression, anxiety or past trauma. You know? It's good advice, I …
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 02:15 AM
1

If I can't be honest in a community such as red pill women then where can I be honest? This reply is really not helpful and I wouldn't even consider it constructive criticism. Do you think I don't know that it is hurtful? You're cutting down someone who is already hurting further. That is pretty disappointing to me as I expect better from people in this community.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/23 02:10 AM
1

Thank you for the advice. It is true, this is NOT how I should be feeling about the person I am going to potentially be spending the rest of my life with. That's why the alarm bells have been ringing in my head for quite a while now. And it has been bothering me SO much. It's why I've attempted to talk it over in therapy so many times, just to be shut down. I need to work this out. For my own sanity and for my partner. The issue is I've had a shit ton of trauma but life is still hard for me. I'm…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 10:42 PM
1

Hey, thanks for your kind and thoughtful reply. I'm glad that there is someone else out there who also struggles with these things. Well not really, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it's nice to feel I'm not alone. Yeah, she really is disregarding my feelings. She's disregarded my feelings on a few other things too. I'm just super hesitant to give up on her because she's the only one in my area that I can afford. It makes me mad because I'm really trying to own my shit and work through my issue…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 10:13 PM
1

Yeah, therapy. Don't think it is working though and I have been doing it for a while.
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/23 09:56 PM
1

But could it be a phase? You mentioned he failed a few ventures lately. And growing up poor this can really hit hard. Is he kind of getting to a point of desperation? Because when you get desperate you start making bad decisions, taking risks, cutting corners and for some people, not completely obeying the law. Maybe he's feeling a bit down and bitter toward finances and this is a way of coping?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 11:38 PM
2

Exactly!
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 11:27 PM
4

I kind of agree here. There are many men that will date a woman older than him. I know a few couples like this and they are very happy. Also, I think a lot of men prefer a woman the same age, or around the same age as them. I see this more often with well educated men. My partner and me are 6 months apart (I'm 6 months older) and he tells me he prefers someone the same age because the younger girls don't have as much maturity. Maybe thats my experience only.
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/23 11:14 PM
1

Not at all. Quite the contrary. Half my job is setting people on the right path after they consumed misinformation from the internet and end up more confused than ever before. I don't revel in this at all, but it is a massive part of my job.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 10:59 PM
-2

No and I will never write anything about this topic on reddit. It's not what someone who is a professional would do. It's not about personal values, rather it's about professional values and if OP really was a professional in this space they wouldn't be posting about it on reddit either.
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/23 10:11 PM
-1

And? If people are asking for advice they need to go and see a professional. Not get advice from a rando on reddit. Do you even have qualifications? I help people lose weight for a living and I'm not solicitating my services here on reddit. In fact, any professional who does so is acting fishy. What are your motivations? And are you qualified to give women advice? If not, don't post about it. Period. Okay sure, opinion pieces are fine...where you talk about not comparing yourself to others, that…
/r/RedPillWomen10/05/23 11:59 AM
6

My opinion about age gap relationships is they are complicated. When I was only 19 I got into a relationship with someone 7 years older. This lasted for 7 years and resulted in an engagement then a break up. My grandparents had a 20 year age gap. They got together when they were both divorced and both already had children. They were in their mid 30's and mid 50's respectively and were absolute soul mates. Sadly, my grandmother had to watch my grandfather die a slow and horrible death due to deme…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/23 08:34 PM
1

Well fair enough, I guess people have their own opinions. And it sounds like you are most certainly pulling your weight around the home and with the kids. While your hubby might not be okay with PT work, my guy is and that's fine. Different strokes for different folks. My thing is, why do we have to work for the sake of it? If a husband earns 300k per year why is FT work necessary for the wife? Unless she really wants to work alot of course! Maybe its a cultural thing. I'm assuming you're from t…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/23 12:10 PM
2

I'm more comfortable in my own skin because I'm not constantly in the spotlight of other people's vision or attention. I for one am very much looking forward to this as I get older!
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/23 11:42 PM
2

Yes, I think it's possible. You're just going to have to find a guy that has 2 characteristics. First, he needs to be very well off. Surviving on 1-1.5 incomes is hard these days if the main bread winner doesn't earn all that much. Second, he needs to not give much of a shit about the rat race that our culture has propagated and not think you have to work just for the sake of working. There are people out there that value time more than money but they aren't all that common. Although, I know qui…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/23 01:25 PM
9

I think it depends on the man, but on the most part, yes, they do. Like goes with like. I look at my own life as an example. My partner is absolutely brilliant, exceedingly smart. I myself am pretty damn brainy but not as smart as him (it's hard to compete haha). He likes me because we have complex discussions and I stimulate him. To be honest, one partner is always going to be "smarter" than the other though. But the difference can't be too great where the "smarter" partner is not getting their…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/23 03:51 PM
2

I wouldn't stress about it. By doing this you are assigning extra meaning to your feelings/reaction when really you shouldn't. And to be honest, I think your reaction is pretty normal. In my experience, sometimes the lead up is harder than the actual thing. I was with a military man for over 5 years when I was younger, I've also had months apart from my current LTR....when these men (who I love/loved very much) went away I was okay! But I was quite a mess leading up to the day they had to leave.…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/23 10:34 AM
1

Really needed to hear this today, friend. Thank you for sharing 💕
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/23 02:06 PM
1

Honestly, thank you for not being so judgemental about this community and actually caring to listen to what we strive for! Can't say that the rest of reddit is on the same page unfortunately. I'm really not sure how different we are! My guy is the opposite of traditional lol and has no clue about red pill stuff. He even thinks that masculinity is a made up concept (not sure I agree with him on that one!). I think RPW is about having equal ownership in life, but from different angles depending on…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 12:13 AM
2

Completely understand hun. Anxiety is a rough thing to deal with, I hope that you can get to the point were you have more good days than bad ones xx
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 06:02 PM
6

I'm not sure if he needs sympathy or what he needs me to say You just need to ask him what he needs. Say "insert name here, it seems like you're not feeling too well at the moment. How can I help? Do you want me to be an ear to listen or do you need me to do something for you?". If he says he just wants you to listen that's all you gotta do. Use active listening skills but mainly just be there. If he wants you to help him ask him what he wants you to do...make food, cuddles etc. I agree it is ha…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 03:47 PM
3

You may find it hard to attract a guy like this or you may not. I really can't tell. But what I can say is that if you can't find someone who is on board with you staying home 100% of the time, could you maybe find someone who would be alright with you working part time? My parents are exactly like this. To be fair, they did have kids (x3) and my mom was a SAHM and then started working part time when we were a bit older, butttt, we've all moved out of home now and she's still just working part t…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/23 09:51 PM
2

Thanks for the recommendation! Appreciate it xx
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/23 02:10 AM
1

Thank you so much, this is really amazing advice. I will get to writing this list soon, I think it will help me to have everything on paper and to actually think about whether I'm just being either hyper vigilant or the eternal pessimist. I 100% know there is a lot of context in this situation like you say. It's mainly about how I think about things and my background/past, constantly being in a crisis and living in survival mode for the majority of my life. I've been through a lot and it has wor…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 09:52 AM
1

Good advice, thank you xx
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 09:40 AM
3

You see, I'm sick of sacrafices. I've been making them for nearly the last decade and I'm burnt out. Anyway, that's a thing for therapy lol. But thanks, you do make good points and definitely food for thought! Edited: this made me think, I'm sick of sacrafices in my own life. I have to stop that from impacting on him. Note to self.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 10:09 PM
1

Aw thanks, I'm really trying!
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 10:03 PM
2

I will have a look, he does like a good book :) Yeah, I hope so. He really does try his absolute best.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 10:01 PM
2

That sounds really hard. You both sound like you are very hard workers, hubby at work/study and you at home. I am prepared for it to be tough but I honestly haven't thought far enough ahead around support. He even wants to move international for his career. But in any case, we will likely live in a place far from my parents (who would have been hands on). If we live in the same place as his parents I don't think I could rely on them because they are still so busy with their careers. I may have t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 09:58 PM
1

My masters degree and business is a means to an end, it's temporary. I'm done with my masters soon and I'm not the bread winner while studying so the business is part time so I have a bit better work life balance than I would have if I was the bread winner. Okay, yeah, if he got a masters that would also be temporary. But masters and working FT is so much stress. And owning a company, that's a long term commitment and a lot of work not just 2 years like post graduate study. I get worried about t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 09:51 PM
3

Just to clarify, he's high value without the extra degree or owning a company. He's already good enough as he is. He can easily provide for a family in a few years based off what he already has. My thing is, I worry about the sacrafices he'll/we'll have to make in order to obtain the education and self development.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 09:46 PM
3

Yeah, that is true. He's getting there though and it's important to both of us that he gets in a bit better shape. Yeah, I think you are right. We need to figure stuff out a little bit better than just thinking about what-if's.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 08:06 PM
4

Thank you for your kind words. I am an awesome person (although trying to work on my insecurities in therapy and lots of self-help books)...a guy who is this smart and emotionally intelligent wouldn't be happy with someone who isn't awesome :) but like I said, it's not 6-6-6 over here and we have about the same RMV. Yeah exactly. I'm currently doing a masters and I just know how stressful it's been! I do really try to be supportive of his dreams, I even said that I will pick up the slack if he w…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 08:04 PM
4

As others have said, your response is unfair. It's not 6 figure income, 6 foot height, 6 inch ah-hem, a six pack and a full head of hair over here. In fact he achieves exactly one of those things and despite what you assume we are about on the same level of RMV. You're making a ton of assumptions based on a select few parameters of my man that I've described. He's not perfect, but I do love him. I do understand it can trigger people because money is hard to come by. I get it, I have been poor al…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 07:54 PM
5

That's true. I really appreciate your advice. Unfortunately he has neglected his health, he is over weight because he did not have time to exercise. He's working on that one though and getting his organisation skills better. So given this, I do at times wonder whether he can do everything. And it makes me worry. He never neglects me and I am very greatful for that. That's partly why I love him so much, he always makes time for me. I've had discussions with him, he thinks he will be able to do it…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/23 07:44 PM
1

Can I ask, where did you find this book? I've been trying to get my hands on it and can't find it anywhere. I'd like to get an electronic copy, you know, to keep it on the down low haha.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/23 06:57 PM
1

I see. There are families like that I guess, your family sounds like they are a bit more old fashioned compared to some other families. But I guess it's not unheard of here. The ex of my boyfriend, her parents were a bit like yours but probably more strict. My boyfriend said that it bothered him significantly. He felt like they were prying and trying to make everything their business. This thing with her parents was one of the many things that got in the way of her relationships, but not the onl…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/23 11:15 PM
1

Brasil is pretty westernized, I agree. Well, that's my experience anyway. I live in a fairly well off neighbourhood in a big city though. But coming from the "west", there are lots of similarities. Some differences but a lot of similarities. I think people who don't live in brasil have lots of assumptions about the country tbh, some unfounded. Anyway, you mentioned your family take you for dates. I think people on this sub may have a bit of a different idea about whether that's acceptable or not…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/23 09:57 PM
2

I wear flat shoes too but it's because I'm tall haha. Flip flops and sandals are my go to's. I also like white sneaks :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/23 10:21 PM
2

Oh fair enough. Well if you're doing it for fun I guess wix or squarespace would be good enough. But imo if you wanna grow, go for wordpress. For ideas maybe do some keyword research using one of the free keyword research tools...and have a flick through related suggestions. I think its a good idea. I don't know of any rpw blogs but I haven't been looking either I guess. I think the ideas you've written are great. I like how there is a variety of things including book reviews. And the weekly adv…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/23 10:48 PM
1

Are you looking at eventually making a living from this blog or you're just doing it "for fun"?
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/23 02:42 PM
2

Men are funny creatures and they like us exactly the way we are when they pick us and they don’t want us to change. So trust him. Women are different- they pick a man and tend to want to start wanting to change them Urgh, you really hit the nail on the head there! Definitely, maybe I could see learning a bit of etiquette as a hobby! I do need to get better with it moving in this social circle.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/23 10:18 PM
2

Thank you, just what I need!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 04:49 PM
1

Aww thank you 💕 I'll get there one day.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 04:46 PM
1

College! We lived together as housemates and became friends. Years later we got in a relationship. Now here we are 2 years strong.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:51 PM
1

College.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:42 PM
1

Thank you 💕 If I won the lottery I would never look down on people, but I probably wouldn't hold onto the money, I'd give most of it away 😅 but you make a good point! I'm insanely lucky. He's a good dude. I'm going to start therapy soon actually, it's nice that I actually have the means to attend therapy now. And I'm really thankful for that!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:42 PM
1

It is true. I am proud of how far I have come, and I guess I have a different perspective which can be good. Maybe I will look on youtube because soemtimes I just don't understand this side of society, it's like living on another planet haha. I will have to train myself. Like the other day we went to this fancy restauraunt and I had no idea which cutlery to use, I was a bit embarrassed 😂
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:39 PM
2

Thank you, I need to remember that. I will have a look to see if I can find any books because sometimes it feels like living in a different world!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:36 PM
2

Yes, I think it's about reframing and retraining myself to have a different perspective and to value myself. Glad you could improve things for yourself. I'll take a look at the book, thank you for the recommendation 💕
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:33 PM
1

Yes, you're right. I'm starting therapy. I will work through this and a few other issues. They all play into one another and make me feel not good enough. I have to remember my worth.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:31 PM
2

The way your describe them is as if they are more valuable then you Yeah, this is potentially it. I associate money as having value I guess. It's hard not to when you've never had any. Maybe I can look into improving my etiquette, social skills are okay. But I think the biggest thing is understanding that I'm equally as valuable even without money.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:30 PM
2

Aw, you're probably right. They try to help me with whatever they can, so causing me anxiety it's definitely the last thing they would want to do.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:27 PM
1

Yeah, I'm in the process of getting my masters degree. So I can connect academically, just the financial side of it has been a challenge. But yep, think it's my own insecurities getting in the way.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:25 PM
1

You're so right. Why would I need to have money when they've got plenty!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:24 PM
2

Thanks for all the advice. They also have maids and nannies and cleaners and these types of things. It's really hard for me to adjust to. Being good at receiving is something I need to work on as I have a really difficult time with it. Maybe it's a pride thing. But going to work on it. I'm able to connect with them on common ground some of the time. I'm quite academic (despite my shitty financial situation) and actually share a similar career with my MIL, she's just 100x more successful than me …
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:24 PM
2

Haha see this is the thing. I didn't even know the term new money and old money existed til I started associating with this family. I though money was money! But now I am learning these things! I'm trying to enjoy the ride, sometimes I feel guilty though, but will try to work on it!
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:20 PM
2

Yes very true. I'm going to start therapy actually. I hope it helps. Glad it worked out for you :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:18 PM
1

Thank you for the advice, everything you said is very true. I have to trust that I am good enough how I am.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/23 01:16 PM
11

I think what you've wrote is awesome. However I would entirely get rid of some sentances and leave it like this. I’m a humble and goofy gal who outside of work, study and gym, spends a lot of free time with family and friends. I also appreciate time to myself to listen to music, paint, cook or watch some YouTube. My favourite qualities of myself are that I’m caring, loving and extremely loyal. I’d also consider myself an optimist. Important qualities I look for in a potential partner is family d…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/23 11:58 AM
2

100%. We are able to follow the RP lifestyle because we actually have a CHOICE! If we were slaves we wouldn't have a choice would we!
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/23 06:17 PM
1

Would you consider moving to where he is at all? If you had the means to? And if things were going well between the two of you? Rather than him having to move to you (and you have to wait years)?
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/23 10:18 PM
5

What about accessories? Head scarves, head bands, scrunchies, clips? Dangly earrings? What about feminine, danity hairstyles like braids, twists, buns that can be done on shorter hair? And I agree with another poster, try to identify your hair type if you have curly hair - can make a big difference to the frizz.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/23 10:12 PM
19

It recently happened to me too. Hence, this brand spanking new alt account. It just shows two things: 1) Freedom of speech is only allowed when it aligns with other peoples agendas (hence defeating the purpose of free speech) and 2) how little the community in general understands RPwomem concepts. Like hello, we're out here trying to be better wives/partners/girlfriends/mothers and more considerate as humans overall yet people completely miss the point of the whole lifestyle!
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/23 10:08 PM
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