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View 1 post and 30 comments by itsallright_now on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

Custodyitsallright_now/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 01:29 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Good for you! Get out and try it, that’s the only way you get better. Good luck! I hope you find someone you really vibe with.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 01:14 AM
5

Yes, and bonus if he can still pay all her bills as she sleeps around. Win-win-win for her!
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 08:33 PM
4

Also, it’s possible if you fight and win that she pays your attorney’s fees, on that portion at least. Just an additional thought.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 08:20 PM
3

Exactly right. Same here, OP, and not a damn thing I can do about it now. Lawyer was…less than ideal. Ex has two years to refi or sell. Good luck to her on that. Until then, I deal with the missed payments and hits to my credit.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 06:36 AM
2

I feel you. I could fall asleep within a minute while married (and I’m back to it now) but couldn’t BUY sleep in the middle of the divorce. You’ve gotten some other comments, but I found cleaner eating and working out helped me a lot. I also found box breathing to be an incredible help when I laid down. Don’t ask me all the science behind it, but I would do it 5 or 10 times and fall asleep within about 5 minutes. It gets better. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:55 PM
–

Good on you. You got into a bad situation and your life got turned upside down. But instead of wallowing in alcohol, drugs, or some other vice (at least not completely, haha) you got to work. Keep your head up, and good luck. I’m hopeful for you, too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 02:43 AM
2

It is. Marginally, but better none the less.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 05:18 AM
0

If it’s 50/50, it would be an offset. If she makes that much money, what she owes you would be capped as you mentioned. With yours, you’re right there as well, so most likely it would come out a wash or close enough. No one owes the other anything for child support, but other things might be included. How the health insurance breaks down may be a factor, but you’d have to ask your lawyer and run the numbers. But most likely, it won’t be game-changing for either of you, if it really comes down to…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 02:12 AM
1

It’s possible, but I’m not sure of your whole situation. You weren’t married long enough (10 years) to get it due to that, but if your spouse can’t work, it’s possible. Or if your child needs exceptional care (due to disabilities, for example) or if you committed domestic violence. Do a search to know if it’s likely to be ordered or not. And talk to your lawyer. Fight it if you want. I’d say don’t agree but let the judge decide it, especially considering the emotions from both sides make an out-…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 10:58 PM
2

My ex is as well. And if my lawyer had done her damn job and gotten us 50/50, my ex’s education and work experience would have been taken into account and come up to about a $15/hr job. And that’s with one year of college and no work experience for the past 18 years, basically. Talk with your lawyer about it. It’s at least a possibility.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 08:22 PM
10

Absolutely don’t fall for the trap. Even if she’s being completely above board, that can turn in an instant. Be on your guard. Always. Most of the time it’s manipulation, conscious or not. I don’t know your entire situation, but too many times the ex-spouse gets into another relationship, so they go on the attack for a while. Then when the outside relationship ends, they come back looking for the comfort and safety of what they had before. That happened with me, and when she went back to the oth…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 07:40 PM
2

Also, if it does come down to 50-50, the amount you owe her SHOULD BE offset by how much she does (or theoretically could) make herself.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 07:27 PM
1

Correct. The max they’ll take is 20% of the $9,200 per month. If your income is reduced below that, I believe it can be reevaluated after a year if the variance is over $100.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 04:47 PM
6

We’ve all been there. Biggest thing I’ve had to remember: what someone wants and what they get are two very different things. She has made you feel like she has all the power, but it is absolutely not the case. It feels terrible now and it will still feel bad in the morning. But it will not only FEEL better, but it will get better. What the others have said is true: get legal counsel. Don’t let it happen to you, be proactive. And work on yourself. The thing from your plea that hits hardest for m…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 11:42 PM
8

You told her yesterday? That’s a SUPER quick turnaround. My divorce was finalized in March of this year, but we’d been separated for 2 1/2 years before then. I knew I was not in the right state of mind to date (or sleep with) anyone for a while. It took me two years before I even thought about it, and that may have been too early. I think you should slow down. If you have any intention of really trying to reconcile, definitely don’t date. If you don’t intend to try, focus on yourself and make su…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 11:31 PM
1

Now that I think about it, make sure it’s legal in your state. Some require both sides to give permission to record, some don’t. So know that before you try it. But good on you! And good luck on your case.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 03:38 PM
14

Way to keep your cool. Reading your first sentence, all I thought was “Let him talk and use it against her!” And you did. The only thing I could have thought to do differently (which you might have done, idk) would have been to record it. But, great job.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 03:29 PM
2

Can I upvote this 1000 times? Because, yes.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 03:24 PM
5

I hear you on this one. My ex has done this for years, and I didn’t realize (or hear my other family members when they said this) until we separated. Now she’s alienating kids from me, mainly through accusing me of exactly what she’s doing, and her whole posse are lapping it up. Good luck, my man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 11:24 PM
1

Ha! Not specifically going after cougars. Ended up meeting someone a few years younger. And some cougars. But chose the younger one haha!
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:21 AM
3

Wow. Your first line is profound. Thank you for this tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:59 AM
6

For me, it was pickleball. Be active. Do things. I was in your spot, just turned 38 this week. Find something you like to do and join a community of it. You’ll make friends and potential partners.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:52 AM
1

You have no idea. There’s too much to get into, and it would turn into me just bitching, but there is just so much. There are a lot of “should’s” in this situation. But it’s not working that way right now. Thank you for the support.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 01:55 PM
3

Thank you. I’ll take a look
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 10:12 AM
2

Yes. Jump on it, hard. Get a bulldog of a lawyer that likes to fight and see how much you can get out of this. And. Do. Not. Give. Anything. You. Don’t. Have. To. Don’t take her back off the fog wears off. And be careful about thinking she won’t screw you over—she’s not going to think straight when it all hits the fan. If she even is now. It is now a business transaction, closing the partnership that was your marriage. Do what you can to make sure you are set up as well as you can for your futur…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 03:48 AM
2

Sadly, it is. The actual definition has been so corrupted that any time someone you don’t like says something you don’t like, you can call them a narcissist. Needing (or-gasp!- expecting) support and an actual partner—narcissist. Exactly the same situation here in my divorce. And she turned two of my kids against me, to add insult to injury. So, I hope your situation is better. Glad your son talked to you about it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 07:37 PM
1

I’d think it would also depend on the decree. Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 06:09 PM
2

Keep your head up. You’ll come out ok. It’s not easy, but definitely gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 01:52 AM
1

In my view, let it go. I’ll start by saying I don’t have as much as you (about $600K total in my divorce), but my view has always been that I can make more money. I’m 37, just got divorced a few months ago and came behind on the asset split at 65%-35%. And that was after fighting for everything to be “fair,” so additional time and money wasted. That was deemed fair by our judge. I’m not happy about it, of course. But the peace of mind knowing it’s done is valuable by itself. You’re going to spen…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 06:45 PM
4

Mine did that almost 2 years after separation, 6 months after I filed. She and her new baby daddy had split up for a couple weeks, and she needed a rebound with something familiar. When I set boundaries, she went back to him and decided I was the devil. Set my kids even further against me. Set the boundary with her early, my man. Like others have said, I say keep it to only what’s necessary for kids. She cheated on you multiple times, and now it sounds to me like she is looking for a rebound aga…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 07:48 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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