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ivegotcharisma Archive

View 0 posts and 152 comments by ivegotcharisma on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

It takes more time to do an updo than to just wear it down and curl it or straighten. I fuss with it too much to get it how I want it when it's up. A messy pony for like, the gym is fine cause I'm sweating anyway. This is just my personal opinion. Other women may feel differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/26 07:14 PM
16

I'm not understanding how this isn't obvious? Yes, the more you get to know someone and come to enjoy who they are, the more you like them and can find them attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:51 PM
11

EQ includes recognizing emotions, managing emotions, empathy, social skills, self-awareness, and emotional regulation. So no, it’s not just choosing solution based action. The fact you wouldn’t even question that after reading it is proof that you most likely know little about emotional intelligence. The truth is that men and women score differently on different aspects of EQ. Women tend to score higher but not by much. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11943105/ https://www.sciencedirect…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:56 PM
1

Girth is more important than length. Average to above average length with a bigger girth is what’s going to allow the clit to be stimulated during intercourse.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:06 PM
2

I'm saying as the date progresses if I realize I don't like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:58 PM
2

I'm saying as the date goes on if I realize I'm not into them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:58 PM
10

I think what this sub, and reddit in general fails to realize is that real life is much more like this. MOST people aren't looksmaxxing and talking about chad's and stacy's. Most people, want a long term dedicated, healthy, and loving relationship. Not many people want a toxic in and out of relationships type of life. Humans enjoy connection and a long term connection with someone who understands you and loves you despite your flaws. We accept each other for who we are and our ever changing selv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:31 PM
3

The reason I pay for myself on a first date is 1. if they don't offer (obvi) 2. I dont like them 3. I'm still figuring out if I like them. I don't want them having anything over me until I know them better. If it's someone I've known for a while and we were friends first or something and they offer to pay I'll give a bit of pushback but will let them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:18 PM
–

We know, we just don’t respond if we aren’t into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:01 PM
8

depth
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:43 PM
0

I don't care about how tall a man is unless it comes to dating them. How I honestly see men shorter than me: "I'm taller than him." and then I move on with my day I'm 5'10 so I'm probably not your target audience for this question, but I won't date someone shorter than me. I wish I could, but I just don't like it long term. However, I find plenty of men shorter than me attractive. Like, I can see they are objectively good looking. I don't view them different in a workplace setting and I don't th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/26 07:53 PM
1

I’m say it in jest, just to emphasize that it doesn’t matter. But yeah, haven’t found my person yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 11:10 PM
4

I think the argument makes sense, but it's not the only reason for it. It's common because it's easy to point to when you consider women not needing men anymore, financially.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 02:17 PM
-2

I've dated above and below and they're all asshats. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 02:07 PM
19

no and no
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 03:55 PM
7

I'm not OP but personally, if a guy in the past went all out with gifts (and whatever else) for his exes and then we met and he's not doing any of that for me I would intially be questioning why and probably feel a little bad about it. I would have to ask the question to him. Depending on his answer, I'd know better how to feel. For example, if he said "well I went all out for my exes and none of it panned out so I feel turned off to the idea of doing all of that until our relationship has progr…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 03:22 PM
–

The funny thing about gifts (the love language) that a lot of people don’t understand is that it’s not about the cost of the “gift”. It’s knowing that someone put enough thought into who you are, and paid enough attention to you, to get you something you’d actually like or need. It’s not my love language, and I don’t place too much stock in all of that but I do find it an interesting starting place for these types of conversations in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 01:15 PM
8

I do. And I have gotten the ick many times.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 07:18 PM
18

Just bc you recognize someone is objectively “hot” doesn’t mean you want to fuck them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 06:46 AM
2

I would lose all respect for them since I would find them pathetic after learning that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:56 AM
5

My same thought. If I found out a dude I was talking to went to a prostitute I’d be super sketched out and it would be immediately over.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:24 AM
–

It always makes me laugh when guys say women’s standards are too high bc I have dropped my standards plenty of times in my life and these dudes ended up being the worst. So now I just keep my standards where they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 02:31 PM
12

Follow through. Love when a man says he’s going to do something and does it. Curious without interrogating. Edit: forgot to add, these were men I worked with
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 04:02 AM
7

I think what you’re describing is what happens when 2 people live together and the mundanity of life sets in. Smelling each others farts and disgusting habits and being sick and ugly. Lol That’ll happen with pretty much anyone you live with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 03:17 AM
–

I’m just confused. Why can’t people have preferences?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 02:39 AM
9

Why would you move in with her if she experiences a sharp drop in sexual desire if you cohabitate?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:57 AM
4

What if someone did sleep with a guy day one and decided that they didn’t enjoy that and wished they’d waited?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 01:53 AM
2

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:21 PM
13

It’s attractive to me as long as it’s not showy. As soon as the guy gets arrogant about it I’m like, yeah no I’m out.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 04:33 AM
1

Well, I don’t want them sobbing every other day of course. But I also would expect my partner to get really tired of me crying every day too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 10:21 PM
2

It’s not about eating their own shit. It’s about feeling like I am safe to open up now too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 03:25 PM
2

lol I love when men cry and have never lost interest over it. But maybe I’m a outlier
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 02:39 PM
24

I like being approached. I massively respect it. I just don’t want to hear “ugly bitch” behind my back if I say no politely.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 11:36 PM
2

I don't want to go on a random date with a man I don't know. I want to date someone who I have seen interacting in public with people out and about in a group. I don't understand what's so hard to understand about that. Women like to see who men are before we even can become interested. I have never been excited to go on a date after talking with a man on a dating app. I have, however, been excited for a date with a guy I have met through friends, or who I've interacted with in public and been a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 04:12 PM
–

Okay lol you’re clearly going through something bye
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:08 PM
1

Literally. I would hate that
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:04 PM
5

No, it’s called seeing a guy in his element in public. Not on a date with me where he’s trying to impress.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 11:03 PM
13

I don’t know how to create dating apps to mimic seeing a guy in a real life scenario or interacting among friends. If you can do that I’m all in. Remove the pressure and allow me to see how a guy acts before choosing him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 10:17 PM
–

I work with a bunch of men and yes, a lot of their diets are trash too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 01:19 PM
3

Yep this. I got on a dating app for 3 hours around 4 months ago. Made the profile and everything, started swiping and only swiped right on 1 man out of a TON bc he said something funny in his profile. But then I just deleted it bc I thought, “I don’t even know these people.” I need to know someone a bit before I can feel motivated to connect with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 12:38 AM
2

Not necessarily. It’s just a litmus test. I don’t know. I can only guess at what that would be for a man. What makes men feel chosen over everyone else and special?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:56 PM
24

I think princess treatment varies from woman to woman, honestly. I’ve heard women say getting flowers is princess treatment and I’ve heard women say paying for everything like trips and gas and nails, etc. I think what this comes down to is women want to feel specifically chosen. Like they are special above all other women. This is safety to us. If we are your special chosen one, then you will protect us and our babies from the predator. If we’re not special to you, you’ll leave us behind and no…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:06 PM
5

Women don’t want the man everyone wants. Women want the hot guy that only she knows is hot. Let me explain bc you’re probably thinking “if he’s hot then everyone knows he’s hot.” A man being desired by everyone doesn’t signal intimacy and chosen, it signals status. The real pull for women is a man who sees her, is consistent, studies her, and steadies her. All the men you described arent irresistible by default. The attention from a man like that feels cheap. Women (most women) aren’t into just …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 12:45 PM
21

None of those men sound interesting to me. I don’t like men like that and don’t waste my time with them. They’d have to be really special and have a lot of proving to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 05:04 AM
14

IT security
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:34 AM
16

Yes. Most men I meet make less than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 02:24 AM
2

I mean like humans naturally want what they can’t have. Maybe they seemed hotter bc you couldn’t have them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 03:55 AM
3

Are you sure they weren’t more attractive bc they friendzoned you? Like, want what you can’t have type thing? I’m the same attractiveness as one of the guys now wives. Another guy, I’m more attractive I’d say.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 01:37 AM
11

I mean men are guilty of it too. But I think with women it’s more egregious. They think bc they had an experience with men that that’s everyone’s experience. Some of us actually find men valuable for their unique strengths. And yes, men and women GENERALLY have different natural strengths.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 10:30 PM
10

I’m always downvoted when I go against the grain in discussions about women. Women don’t like when other women give men the benefit of the doubt. Having said that, both men and women don’t understand each other and why we are the way we are at our core. What we need and why it makes sense to each group.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/26 09:10 PM
2

I honestly don't know the answer to this, but if you're willing to engage in sexual activity with a man, to whom you've given general consent to having sex (like the actual act of penis in vagina) then you have to also accept that at some point he might try to do something you don't want. At which time, you'd say no I don't want that. Hopefully, he would comply. But I think there's ways of communicating consent in a way that is...sexy. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:28 PM
2

This is interesting to me because obviously consent is important and women want men to ask for consent, however, there is such a nuance to it. Obviously there might come a point where a woman would want a man to stop asking bc it's like, hey we're in the moment and I want this and you don't have to keep asking. However, what if the next thing a guy tries to do is put it in her butt and she's not down for that. It's like...there are certain things within certain moments that might require consent…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:39 PM
9

I agree. I rarely, if ever have had a visceral attraction to a man. It is only ever like, a subtle thing. Just an acknowledgment that he's cute or good looking. Even very attractive men I feel this way. It's only after learning the type of guy they are or getting to know them better than any sort of desire-y type thing happens. As far as visceral attraction goes, I have felt that for men I wasn't initially super attracted to. But as we got to know each other, they would elicit that response from…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 05:33 PM
–

Yuh hate to see it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:57 AM
–

He got a new, high paying job when we were together that required him to be away from home a lot. I surmise that this went to his head a bit. He started to change after that. Nothing egregious, just…different. I was proud of him but also in the back of my mind I was battling thoughts that he was getting a little too big for his britches. We ended up getting pregnant and 5/6 months into my pregnancy I found out he cheated. Then more and more came out eventually even after the divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:28 AM
–

Preach. Also a single mom who does well for herself. My life is exceedingly better now.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:20 AM
–

Similar family background, funny, charismatic, hard worker to name a few
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:56 AM
–

I did know this, yes. I’m confident my child will be fine. Both me and my ex are high earners and have a healthy coparenting relationship. My child is in a highly rated school district, and lives in an area with many opportunities for growth and community. There are challenges, at times, to being a single mother. I would have loved to have the picturesque family upbringing for them but it was not possible. My ex was a serial cheater and despite trying to make it work he couldn’t keep it in his p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:55 AM
–

My life has improved exponentially after becoming a single mom, and my child doesn’t have to grow up having a distorted image of what love and marriage looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:06 PM
0

Lmao whatever you say bro
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 12:31 PM
0

I'm being unintentional until there needs to be intention. If I go to a pottery class and see a cute guy enough times I will smile and eventually strike up conversation if he seems open to it bc we already have a shared interest/goal in the class. "Do you understand what she was saying about XYZ?" "Have you ever done this before?" and then see if there's chemistry If I go to a pottery class and don't see anyone I'd be interested in then I just live my life and enjoy the pottery class.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 08:36 PM
-3

We do though. We aren't initiating in an overt way, typically. But we still have to place ourselves into a position to be approached. So, we do have to actively seek people out. If you are a woman wanting to be in a relationship we have to make ourselves approachable and open in spaces where men and women have the potential to mingle.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 06:06 PM
36

The first point is something women get told a lot too. I don't find it a rule, moreso just a way of saying "hey focus on yourself, your interests, and bettering yourself as a person and eventually you will find yourself in the right place and right time to meet a good match." Most of my relationships haven't started bc a guy cold walked up to me and asked for my number. It's been people in my circles or who I run into often, we start chatting and find out there's chemistry. I don't have a proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 04:46 PM
0

Men can still be more desperate for women, than women are for men, and not ask them out. There's a ton of reasons for why men aren't asking women out as much which is talked about in this sub all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 03:28 PM
0

Right, I definitely don't think men should be walking around without confidence in themselves and believing they don't deserve someone great. I guess I just mean in a general sense that men expecting women to flock to them isn't realistic. It's built into our genetics/culture not to do that. Obviously, there are women who aren't afraid of approaching, but again speaking in generalities. Looking back at the OP, if it's simply saying "hey men, have confidence and believe you're someone great" then…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 03:24 PM
10

This won’t ever work because men are more desperate for women than women are for men. I mean, isn’t the current dating climate proof of this enough? Less men are asking women out today and we’re in dire straits. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 02:49 PM
0

Well, it should at least give pause. And it should feel bad. Bc abortion terminates life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:31 PM
2

Some women would still opt for the baby to be killed rather than be allowed to survive outside their body to full term. Women really need to listen to their own bodies and have discernment. Ask themselves why it feels bad to have an abortion. Maybe bc it’s wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 08:53 PM
9

Maybe cause he’s 21 years younger
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:22 AM
13

I wonder if it’s more inherently implied in girls than in boys. With boys it’s “open her door, walk her to the car, meet her at the front door for a date, give flowers, etc.” Whereas for women we are the ones in the kitchen with our moms, shopping for presents with our moms and grandmas, having chores more geared toward the inside of the home rather than mowing, trash duty, garage stuff with dad. Our roles in relationship aren’t typically of a persuer, but rather being gracious and appreciate of…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 07:36 PM
5

I think women would want more kids if they didn't have to work. Most women have to work nowadays and the entire ordeal of being pregnant and having to go to an office job then birth the child, be home for 3-6 months if you're lucky, and then take the kid to daycare while you return to work sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 02:58 PM
–

Yeah I would never tell my boyfriend about sizes and that intimate of details. Unnecessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 05:38 PM
9

This study included men and women first of all. And yes there was a stat mentioned about 62% of women saying it negatively impacted their relationship, but if you asked men it would most likely be the same. It also mentioned that if you already have a healthy relationship and a supportive partner you’d have more success in school. Overall sounds like going back to school is tough on most relationships, degrading those already suffering, and slightly impacting those that are healthy. I don’t see …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 12:12 PM
1

I agree with that
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:20 PM
1

The problem for me is that I’d prefer to be in that role. Yes, it’s attractive for a man to be that way and want to be heavily involved with the kids. However, personally I’d feel sad if I were going to work every day while he got to spend majority of the time being w the kids and doing those activities. Assuming you’re meaning like, a stay at home dad situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:09 PM
4

I likely make more than any man I’d date. Or at least it’d be equal. It’s not about how much money a man has or makes, but more showing drive and ambition and passion.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 06:14 PM
–

I mean that’d be ideal, sure but in this scenario it didn’t happen that way. Make the choice to either be with her or not. I’m sure there are things she tried that she did like and would be willing to do again.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 02:47 PM
16

It doesn’t bother me. It’s awkward if I’m not interested, sure. But can’t blame the guy for trying. Not sure why women are huffing and puffing about this.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 02:43 PM
2

Yup. As a single mom, can confirm. The options now are abundant 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:47 PM
–

I love playing video games and board games...all kinds of games and sports, really. The problem is when it encroaches on responsibilities and the nurturing of your relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:37 PM
2

This isn't gendered. We want people to grow with us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:35 PM
–

My ex husband cheated on me and now I'm a single mom. I get told on here that I should have chose better all the time. I could get angry and say all men are trash and say there's no point in dating, but I know too many men who are good people and treat me kind, and that want a loving a wholesome relationship. I know good men which is why I haven't given up on them. Even though I've had to kiss way too many frogs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:29 PM
3

There are a million situations where this is so nuanced but short answer is, yes? Especially if we have kids. Now if it were me or the kids then obviously the children come first. I'd hope we'd fight whatever threat together though before it came to that. Like if the threat were a big scary man then I'd hope he'd protect me. If it were like a natural disaster type situation then we'd probably both be trying to help each other survive.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 07:17 PM
1

Sorry I like my conservative men. 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 12:52 AM
2

Yuppppp
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 12:51 AM
–

No, never.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 04:55 PM
–

We "chose" careers, sure. That's because we were told that we shouldn't rely on men anymore to take care of us. And honestly, good thing. My husband cheated on me and if I had been a SAHM it would have been much harder to leave him if I didn't have a career of my own. I would have loved to be a SAHM with the right man who didn't hold that shit over my head and actually believed that work in the home was valuable. But those men are hard to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 08:49 PM
5

At this point I think you need to just give up on trying to explain anything to this person. They sound disingenuous or perhaps too young to have meaningful dialogue.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 03:29 PM
1

The quote I always hear in response is this: "the breakup came out of nowhere i'm so confused" I think a lot of times women grieve while still in the relationship so it seems they just "get over" it quickly when in reality they've been dealing with feelings of the relationship being over for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 04:10 PM
3

Also interested in what happened
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:23 PM
1

Idk but it’s really frustrating. It’s like they don’t want to believe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 01:11 PM
1

Trust me when I say, I do not have a low libido. Like someone else said, I just have self control and standards. Doesn’t mean there aren’t moments it really sucks and I feel hopeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 01:10 PM
8

Are you saying out of my league like hotter than me? If a dude that was hotter than me was asking me out I’d be suspicious. But I also have no interest in a goldrush. I like a guy that’s hot to me not everyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 03:21 AM
3

I don’t think anyone is intentionally choosing partners that bring chaos or anxiety into their lives, male or female. But whether this is just a systemic issue present in both sexes or not, it’s certainly relevant to why a lot of women are way more comfortable now staying single as opposed to when our parents were growing up. It’s easy to point the finger and say “you choose bad.” But I’ve dated a lot of different types of men and their negative patterns coincide in many ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/25 01:50 AM
5

Take initiative in resolving conflict, communicate clearly, be consistent and steady, be reliable and follow through on commmitments and promises, handle stress in healthy ways, recognize their own patterns and take accountability for those patterns, sexual and emotional discipline, and problem solving for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:18 PM
7

Yeah I’m fine with that. Although I’d be really sad lol. But I think it’s one of those things where if you go without it long enough you start to not miss it as much. But I have to have a strong emotional connection w someone before I want to have sex with them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 11:14 PM
7

Part of the reason I desire to be in a relationship is for sex. I didn’t mean to insinuate I don’t desire sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 10:43 PM
8

Yes this
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 08:11 PM
12

Yeah, the offering anything thing. I make enough money to support myself and then some, I take care of my house, my car, manage my life, have friends to share with, etc etc. I don't need a man, but I would like a partner to share life with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 06:59 PM
93

I haven't evolved out of the desire to be coupled up. I'd love to be in a relationship with the right guy. I hear guys say this too, but I have a very peaceful life and can take care of myself, I just desire a partner to share things with. I don't think it's anything wrong with men as a whole, per se. I just think that women are realizing that it's better to be single than be with a guy that brings chaos and anxiety into your life. Part of that might be expectations vs reality, meaning: we expec…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 06:55 PM
2

straight as an arrow lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 05:43 PM
3

Amen
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/25 04:53 PM
5

It should be, yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 07:29 PM
46

I like how simple they usually are. And I don't mean stupid. I mean like, little stuff seems to make them happy. Acknowledgement, comforts, a home cooked meal, a compliment, a bit of attention, video games, sports teams, a beer lol...idk a lot of them just seem really happy as long as you make sure they know through little actions that they're loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 07:25 PM
–

Yep. We can tell when ur performing
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:55 PM
8

lol this is so oddly specific But to answer your q's, I don't prefer super jacked dudes bc the ones I've dated have made the gym their entire personality and if I ever missed the gym they'd get all weird. Wouldn't be a fan of the steroids. I don't care how big his butt and boobs are lol That's just weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 06:58 PM
4

I'm happy to submit to a man worth submitting to. I understand that is probably not the most popular on view on Reddit, but as I was also in the military, I understand the feeling you described. This is why shared goals and expectations are important to establish early on. Also, want to add that submitting does not mean blindly following everything your husband says. You are a team, and he should know you deeply and be aiming to please you in his leadership, as well as take your input and concer…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 03:24 PM
0

Because why on god's green earth would the average woman, who's social circles are comprised of dealing with various aspects of emotional interactions and feelings, be upset or offended by a man being emotional and sharing his feelings UNLESS he was being a jerk? OF COURSE there are shitty women out there that are just straight up bitches, but chances are that what I was saying is the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:42 PM
2

Funny you say that because I'm the one in relationships constantly tiptoeing around them. Which inevitably ends in me leaving them because they have no accountability.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:36 PM
0

In these situations, I am personally. Can't speak for all of us, but I've been put through the ringer.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:09 PM
1

He didn't, but you said I was just trying to incite people which is why I responded with a personal anecdote that explains why I said what I said....
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 06:08 PM
0

But that's not all he said. He said that she made the conversation about how he made her feel. And that's relevant because I've been with men like this who take their anger out on their significant other bc they don't have emotional regulation tools. It's one thing to be angry and upset and frustrated, and it's another to take it out on your partner. (or anyone for that matter) It's a lack of respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 04:40 PM
2

So, I'm guessing your acute emotional distress comes out as anger, bitterness, and generally rude behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 03:37 PM
-5

I love this post so much. The problem is that whether you are a man or a woman, you can't always expect you partner to pick up the emotional slack without helping yourself too. You have to take personal responsibility and go out and heal. In many relationships I've been in, the men have gotten emotional stability, sex, love, care, and understanding from me, and then gone on to repeat the same behaviors that keep them stuck. It's like our love carries them over into another day, another week of f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/25 03:30 PM
-1

Such is the world. I mean, I have to do certain things to be considered by men I want too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 10:52 PM
1

Ohh I watched one with Dax Shepard and it was heartbreaking. The Freebie
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 09:14 PM
1

I don't think there's shame in it. I want an average looking guy. I tell people I want a guy that's a little ugly. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 07:19 PM
1

Because I have seen this sentiment all over the place.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 07:04 PM
1

Yeah I was like ew never. lol If he had approached me when we first met I would have definitely rejected him. I'm saying that you don't know what I view as ugly or attractive and I don't know what you view as ugly or attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:08 PM
0

But like, ugly to one person might not be to the other... For example, the last guy I dated I was not attracted to at all when I first met him. Like zero percent. After getting to know him his attraction started to grow and I can say that subjectively, he is the hottest guy I've ever dated. Though, the average person if they saw my exes lined up would say he was below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:48 PM
1

Not conventionally attractive, but not necessarily ugly either. I'm saying that attractiveness is subjective and based on more than just looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 05:21 PM
-1

My point is that you don't have to be a chad to get attention. In fact, there are countless women who want a medium ugly dude with a great personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 04:58 PM
11

I like conservative leaning men bc I'm more traditional and a Christian. Not MAGA though.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 04:02 PM
2

Every time I have lowered my standards (which in my opinion are far from absurd), I have been burned in the end? So why would I lower them even more?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 03:30 PM
0

Went to high school with a guy that was shorter and chubby but he was outgoing and funny and everyone loved him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 03:18 PM
1

The one with Dax Shepard?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 03:13 PM
11

I mean, I have plenty of evidence but okay? So what if a guy says his ex cheated on him? Don't believe them?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:44 PM
1

"physical touch is my love language" *just wants sex*
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:03 PM
9

Yeah, I'm a single mom and my ex cheated on me so I left. So suddenly now I'm scum and deserve no one?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 03:58 PM
0

Why you would stalk a man to that degree
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:39 PM
2

Also, in what world is "trying your best" or whatever the person said, a threesome? There are plenty of other adventurous sexual endeavors that don't involve other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 05:07 PM
2

That last part is super interesting. Would you be okay with a woman doing this to you now? Also, can you elaborate on why you say that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 04:53 PM
12

I couldn't care less what people wear in the gym as long as I'm not subjected to seeing your hooha or other private bits.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 08:22 PM
1

Completely agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 07:57 PM
1

Yeah this convo is always tough for me bc I'm more traditional so I've always been a fan of men asking out women anywhere and everywhere. Sucks that it's all gone to shit in a lot of ways where men are more afraid now.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 01:48 PM
1

It’s funny bc I was thinking as I was reading your comment that the reason I like being friends first is because it makes me more comfortable to make the first move. 😂 I’ve never thought of it like that before so thanks for bringing that to my attention. But it’s entirely true! Thanks for your comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 12:03 PM
0

Honestly I’m so sorry you are the way that you are. I pray you heal and encounter people who love you and build you up. You deserve so much more.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 12:41 AM
3

What a disgusting comment
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 12:10 AM
6

Yep. We had a beautiful life ahead of us until he started treating me badly when I was pregnant. It kept getting worse so I started snooping and found out he was cheating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:11 PM
2

lol Yeah but that's kinda the point is like no one knows what he looks like. So whoever this hypothetical man is, could be anywhere on the spectrum of attractiveness it doesn't really matter bc some women find this type of thing endearing. Who I think is cute, another woman might be like ew.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 06:00 PM
0

Maybe not to you--but in my circles it is widely understood that more women can develop attraction compared to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 05:44 PM
9

Yeah I don't understand the obsession with this topic. Like, people find great partners at all points in life? lol For as many women who are still single in their 30s 40s 50s there are just as many men who are also single. And chances are they have things in common bc they're still single (or divorced, widowed, whatever)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 05:12 PM
2

Are you gay?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:30 PM
5

I think it's cute when a guys awkward. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 02:43 PM
4

lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 02:22 PM
0

It's always weird to me to hear that statement about women only being attracted to the 1% because I've dated an array of men with different attraction levels. (I don't have a type) This is mostly due to me spending long amounts of time with the people I've dated before it becoming romantic. Women, (unlike men in most cases) can develop attraction over time if a guy is funny, sweet, intelligent, interesting, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:58 PM
1

This is why I don't do dating apps and prefer to be friends with my partner first. If we get to know each other on a friendly level starting off, then we both know each other well enough to treat the other with respect. (probably)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 01:52 PM
–

True. Although I'll say this girl learned a lesson here about weight loss, so even if she does gain again after pregnancy, chances are she will miss that feeling and lose it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 02:20 PM
3

Women don't know a man lacks emotional maturity or integrity just bc he's attractive. People reveal who they are over time. The shaming comes after when women are blamed for staying too long, for leaving, or for having expectations at all. Women are (most times) held responsible for mens deception or failures in ways men often aren't. saying pick better ignores that lots of men present as emotionally mature until it's time for accountability. I will say, I feel this way about the reverse situati…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:47 PM
4

That’s not true though. We don’t just get shamed for being ‘too picky’ about looks. We get shamed for expecting emotional maturity, consistency, integrity, and real partnership. When women leave toxic or abusive relationships, the same people saying our standards are ‘too high’ suddenly tell us, ‘you should’ve picked better.’ So which is it? The problem clearly isn’t women having standards...it’s that too many men resent being held to any.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:27 PM
13

Emphasis on they think women have too high of standards and then at the same time shame women who divorce awful abusive men. “You should have picked better.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 12:04 AM
17

Exactly--you won't catch me dead having a man describe our marriage as "she roped me into it."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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