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james-robertson Archive

View 0 posts and 230 comments by james-robertson on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

It doesn't matter that you're worried - take the same action anyway.
/r/seduction25/03/20 12:21 AM
2

/u/RisingUpAgain gave excellent advice. Questions don't have to be good, they just have to show interest in a person. EVERYONE loves talking about themselves, you pretty much just need to give them an excuse. It doesn't matter if you suck at it now - just keep trying and you'll get better with practise (it's just like any other skill). Heres my magic phrase that works with any one any time (except first thing in the morning!). How's your day going? ​ How's your day going Hamacule? ​ See? I know …
/r/askTRP09/05/19 02:04 AM
1

If you want a hoe, you pay for those! If you want a normal girl... ask them about their day, ask them about themselves, take them somewhere quite, ask them out, kiss them. Practise makes perfect. You have to be in it to win it, so make sure you meet/hangout with a lot of girls, make sure you talk to them, make sure you ask them out or flirt or kiss them. Confidence comes with experience, and being social is a skill like any other, it can be learned.
/r/seduction09/05/19 01:55 AM
2

Hi mate, ​ That all sounds pretty overwhelming, but you can change things for the better. You have to break it down into smaller easier things you can fix... I've been there man and it sucked for a while, but by changing just one or two things at a time I was able to dig myself out of the hole. ​ How's it going in Iraq these days? I hope you and your family are OK after the wars and the continuing fighting. ​ The first step is to imagine a life you would like. What hobbies do you do? Where do yo…
/r/seduction09/05/19 01:53 AM
1

That's fine. Would make sense to send that the evening before, but so long as you're not needy and spamming her it's a positive thing to do. ​ I hope she has a smooth experience!
/r/seduction09/05/19 01:43 AM
1

agree, but she did kiss him, so there's deffo been some attraction. Most likely there are other guys she's more into and he's a backup/fizzle, but that's covered under #1 anyway.
/r/seduction08/05/19 10:34 PM
1

sex talk comes after successful kissing. (This rule can be broken - e.g. tinder can be a pretty sexual place, or in a night club, but I think it would be a good guideline for you.) ​ You didn't say exactly what happened on this date - my guess is she was into you, but then you skipped a step on the escalation ladder.
/r/seduction08/05/19 10:32 PM
1

The biggest secret I found was that the key was learning to recognise who was already into me or open to meeting new people, rather than trying to get 100% success rate. ​ Approaching women who are unavailable or not interested doesn't gain you anything except the experience of doing so. ​ When I was still single, my in person record was more like 50% success - not because I'm some super hot genius, but because I knew how to recognise when a girl was into me or open to being approached. Look for…
/r/seduction08/05/19 10:30 PM
1

Could be 1 of 2 things. 1: She's into you, just not that much. 2: She's into you, but hates texting/snapping.
/r/seduction08/05/19 01:18 AM
2

Great work! If you don't ask you don't get. ​ The main thing I'd note is that getting a number isn't any sort of goal, it's just a way to keep in touch. It would have been easier to ask her out for a casual no pressure coffee date, then swap numbers so you can make it happen. ​ No big deal if this particular girl isn't into you or doesn't want to date, you aren't going to win them all!
/r/seduction06/05/19 02:43 AM
5

It's like having big boobs. It's not everything, or even the main thing, but it sure helps!
/r/seduction06/05/19 02:40 AM
1

I can't give good advice without knowing what's going on, but I've got a couple of thoughts. In person, it's as much about recognising who's interested as it is about being a seduction god. The trick is to learn which girls WANT you to start a conversation and escalate. It's a bit chicken and egg because you need to approach everyone until you recognise the signs, but when you do it makes everything much easier. The second thing I think would help is adding new channels to your pipeline. So add …
/r/seduction29/04/19 06:24 AM
1

She was into you, because you were both into weight lifting etc, not like the creepy guys. You rejected the poor girl!
/r/seduction25/04/19 12:45 AM
1

Doesn't sound like you lost any attraction. Rules for texting are don't be overly needy (send too many), but don't ignore her either. Maybe ask her out on a proper date? She'd be much more interested in that than hanging out with your friends... If the logistics of when and where take too long I usually switch to voice call to speed things up, but you don't have to.
/r/seduction25/04/19 12:25 AM
3

I dated a girl like that - seemed pretty standard to me. She's now in a permanent relationship with another high functioning guy, they're very happy together. You may just need to be a bit more blunt / straight forward than usual.
/r/seduction25/04/19 12:18 AM
1

Yeah, I've been there man. I took that deep desire and used it to push myself forward in business and life etc - thought if I was a millionaire it would be easy with her lol. Life doesn't work that way, but if you can take those massive feelings you have and redirect them to provide motivation to build your life, at least that's productive. You should 100% move on from this girl (don't want to be a stalker), but imagine the sort of guy a 100% twin of her would go for and become that guy, so you'…
/r/seduction25/04/19 12:13 AM
1

<3. Try finding some caring, supportive, intelligent, sensitive, patient, tall, pale girls to hang out with. You don't even have to date them yet if you don't want to! ​ Try this exercise. Write down a list of 20 girls your age that you know (exclude your crush). Pick one at random. Imagine she feels about you the way you feel about your crush. How does this make you feel? What could she do to get you to fall in love with her? Do you think she knows what you are really like? ​ Instead of focusin…
/r/seduction25/04/19 12:02 AM
3

Exactly - she doesn't know you or have a link into your mind - the feelings are one sided. Move onto other women who are into you, it's a much nicer experience :) ​ Also you might not believe me, but I ended up dating one of my biggest crushes... there's a lot I liked about her, but I also learned that she wasn't the girl I'd built up in my head and had negative sides too. As much as you love the image of this girl, you haven't been dating her or started to build a real relationship, so you're m…
/r/seduction24/04/19 11:39 PM
3

Ask him out.
/r/seduction24/04/19 11:23 PM
1

Hi mate, Sorry to hear about the depression. Things will get better. ​ You can't change her mind. It doesn't matter how long you've had deep feelings for her, or how it's affected you, that doesn't make any difference to her. I'm not sure why you were shocked that she rejected you - especially as you start out rejection is very common. ​ The best way to move forwards is to start fresh with new people. I know you really feel for this one girl, but you don't want to be with someone who's not into …
/r/seduction24/04/19 11:22 PM
1

It's your skills, not your looks. She already knows what you look like (unless you're catfishing on the Internet!). ​ Maybe try activity dates where there's something going on? Helps the conversation flow more easily, and gives you excuses to touch / flirt more easily. ​ Don't ever ask if she finds you attractive - you figure it out by escalating a tiny bit (maybe a small touch, ask a personal question, look her in the eyes, lean close, hug, whatever) and see how she reacts. If she reacts well, …
/r/seduction24/04/19 03:16 AM
2

Part of it's luck - no-one is going to succeed at every date. ​ More helpfully, it sounds like you're not escalating on these dates. A good date should end with a kiss at least, if not more.
/r/seduction24/04/19 12:12 AM
1

You need to escalate appropriately. She isn't going to fuck you in public. She's not going to fuck you if she hasn't kissed you. She's not going to kiss you unless you've been flirting. ​ If you scared a girl away, it means you skipped steps. Maybe she needed to go somewhere private for a makeout session, then have a second date, then sex. ​ How do you know when a date is a good one? When you know it's going well, that's when you can escalate.
/r/seduction24/04/19 12:10 AM
1

Practise makes perfect. Keep at it, you'll eventually learn how to interact with people in the ways you'd like to. You could try thinking of yourself as playing a role in these situations so that any rejection is less personal. Once that role starts to work, you can then think of it as part of you.
/r/seduction24/04/19 12:06 AM
1

With my partner, I asked her back to my house from our first date. I asked "Would you like to come home with me and watch Netflix" then cracked up laughing to make it obvious that I didn't mean Netflix. If she's into you, you can make any excuse to go outside. You could just say "Follow me" and take her by the hand. You could do it ironically like in my example "Hey, would you like to go outside... to.. um... look at the stars *laugh*". Maybe straight forward is best. "Let's go outside where it'…
/r/seduction24/04/19 12:04 AM
2

Science is the right word! You need to experiment and observe, and each girl is different. In general you need to escalate by small steps, but if you get positive feedback you can go through these steps as quickly as possible. ​ So for example, you've been chatting to a girl, and she says something sad or awesome or whatever. The experiment is you go in for a hug. You watch her to see if you get a positive or negative response. Positive = return the hug, squeeze you, stay close, act natural. Neg…
/r/seduction23/04/19 11:59 PM
5

Abs are made in the kitchen - you need to be pretty slim to be able to see them. If you look at strong men competitions you ain't seeing no abs! ​ If you want a stronger or bigger body, go to the gym. If you want a hobby that it sounds like you'll really enjoy, go to a boxing gym. Boxing will give you motivation to work out, and maybe a structure for your goals. So... why not both? ​ PS - 5'9 72kg doesn't sound like you should lose weight to me, unless you just want to for muscle definition nove…
/r/seduction23/04/19 11:52 PM
1

For me it was normal for a date that went well to end with sex, or at least a kiss. Exceptions for inexperienced women. ​ If that happened, then I could expect more. If it didn't, the date didn't go well and it was time to move on (again, exceptions for inexperienced women).
/r/seduction23/04/19 11:48 PM
2

Sounds about right to me too! If she was super into you she'd make time for coffee, flirt more obviously. On the other hand, she's started conversations with you, and did give her number. I'd concentrate on flirting after class. Make her want you before you ask her out. Usually you make girls want you by escalating appropriately (and being attractive in general), so dial it back from the coffee date, but ramp up the joking, flirting, touching, interest in her life. She may not be interested - if…
/r/seduction23/04/19 11:40 PM
1

Depends on the guy. Often I personally don't notice if a girl is randomly wearing lingerie, I just figure she wanted to wear nice stuff that day. I do appreciate it if she wears it in bed. For me it's an enhancer, not an enticement. ​ All of your ideas are fine. Think of it like salt - it enhances whatever you're doing. ​ Good luck!
/r/seduction23/04/19 11:37 PM
1

People flirt with others when they are already with someone all the time. Sometimes it's because they naturally flirt with everyone. Sometimes they get carried away and do it when they shouldn't. Sometimes it's because they like to flirt with attractive men and it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes they are ready to move on. ​ She was flirting with you, and found you attractive enough to do that. Even if she's not available, she was into you. ​ You've also written other examples on here too, but t…
/r/seduction23/04/19 09:39 AM
1

small bin with a lid in the toilet for tampons etc. hand soap clean sheets / toilet / kitchen / bathroom etc Learn to cook and have ingredients on hand. ​ It's up to you really - if she's coming back to your place then most likely you just need to not mess things up. You can decorate it to be an extension of yourself and your style. My place is big and old, but full of musical instruments and sports gear - showing what's important to me.
/r/seduction23/04/19 09:30 AM
13

The key here is that you got out of the friendzone by becoming more attractive over a decade. When most people think of getting out of the friendzone, they think of trying to turn things around then and there without anything extra going on on their side. Congratulations on the improvements mate, it's nice to hear success stories!
/r/seduction23/04/19 09:26 AM
1

You gave a field report a while back where a girl was totally flirting with you. Turns out she had a boyfriend at the end of the day, but she at least thought you were cute. They were 100% signs even if it turns out they wouldn't have gone anywhere.
/r/seduction22/04/19 11:02 PM
1

Women do consider you attractive, but your mind isn't set up to recognise it. ​ First, because you are still inexperienced you don't know what to look for and how to recognise it. Second, you have a very deep belief that you're not attractive, and your mind rejects any evidence to the contrary. You discount and ignore anything that conflicts this deep belief. Please work on ignoring this belief and acting as if it's not true - if you can do that then #1 becomes your biggest problem and it's much…
/r/seduction22/04/19 11:01 PM
1

In marketing there's a concept of a "pipeline" that I think would be helpful to you. Basically you reach out to 1000 customers, get 100 enquiries, 10 turn into face to face sales meetings, you make 1 sale. Each one of those steps can be analysed and improved independently. So where is the problem with your girlfriend pipeline? Are you meeting enough girls? Are enough of them attracted to you (flirting, smiling, interested in interacting, touching)? Are you escalating with the girls (ask them on …
/r/seduction17/04/19 12:46 AM
1

Don't worry about it - who knows what's up with her. ​ Only thing I'd suggest is not apologising - you didn't do anything wrong and apologising for something like that gives off a needy vibe. I don't think she's playing hard to get, and if she was you've got better things to do with your time than playing those games. Sounds to me like she lost interest. ​ No matter what's up with her, the correct response is to not worry about it and move on.
/r/seduction16/04/19 05:53 AM
9

Part of the hot/creepy guy dynamic where they can get away with a lot might be because they are able to read women better. ANYONE can get away with crazy stuff if the girl is into him - it's only creepy if she's not into him. I don't doubt that hotter men have more interest (it's a tautology!), but they may also be better at reading the interest. It's a re-enforcing spiral! I reckon with looks it's a 20/80 thing - doing 20% of the work will get you 80% of the way there (and be more than enough f…
/r/seduction16/04/19 03:12 AM
4

You're not gay, it was a high pressure situation in a place that forces an awkward positions. ​ I had a similar experience on a late night train - my bicurious fuckbuddy wanted me to fuck her, and her friend was there helping - just couldn't get hard for it even though it was a super hot scenario. Too much pressure. You'll do much better in a less rushed scenario.
/r/seduction16/04/19 03:06 AM
2

Beliefs are patterns in your mind to help you make sense of the world. Your belief that you are ugly is not helping, you should not feed that belief and instead believe that you're great. ​ I've seen your pics and you look great. ​ If believing you are attractive is too difficult, maybe try not believing anything? Don't believe you are ugly or good looking, just run game and see where it gets you.
/r/seduction16/04/19 12:53 AM
1

Mate, you look great. You need to remove the old self belief from back in the day and learn that you are attractive. ​ Even if you don't believe it yet, pretend as if you were. You are your own biggest enemy here. Your problem is not your looks, it's that you can't believe women are interested in you and you don't know how to recognise the signs or know what to do about them. ​ Good luck bro!
/r/seduction16/04/19 12:49 AM
6

It's a combination. Doing well in any one category will work well, but having 0 points in a category can really hurt. The best advice is to get the basics down in every category as these are often quick wins, and combined will do you well. ​ You can be a male model, but if you scream and run away every time a woman flirts with you you won't get anywhere. You can have the best game in the world, but if you smell like shit and have leprosy, your market is going to be limited to other people in a s…
/r/seduction19/03/19 02:07 AM
1

The situation was a clear invitation for you to escalate, and she was showing massive signs that she's into you. ​ We don't know what's going on in her life. Maybe she's just a big flirt and acts like that with everyone cute. Maybe she wants to cheat on her boyfriend. Maybe they're in an open relationship. Maybe they want a threesome. ​ She is attracted to you, having a boyfriend doesn't automatically switch off all other attraction. We don't know what would have been possible with her without e…
/r/seduction19/03/19 12:39 AM
1

Yes, she was totally into you. At the end of the night when she came to say goodbye she was expecting you to ask for her number, maybe even give her a cheeky kiss. You can't trust your own self image - my advice would be to always assume the girl is into you, so long as you can act on that without causing trouble (e.g. don't do that at work). ​ Good work brother, I look forward to hearing some success stories as you continue breaking past your old limiting beliefs.
/r/seduction12/03/19 07:46 AM
4

I wouldn't call that a shit test, and I'm sure she does have 2 essays due Saturday. If she was super attracted she'd have offered an alternative or gone out with you anyway. In general get the girl wanting + agreeing to come out with you, then arranging the best time is just details, and you don't need to worry about all this stuff. Often I find it easier to call to figure out a time instead of too much boring back and forth on txt. ​ GET THE DATE FIRST, THEN ARRANGE THE TIME.
/r/seduction07/11/18 03:19 AM
1

It's just work flirting. Usually makes life in the office a bit more fun and they day go more smoothly, but no romantic intent behind it.
/r/seduction14/06/18 11:46 PM
1

I'm not a big phone guy (talk or text). Most people I dated successfully had sex on the first or second date, and after sex everything is easy, so it's just a matter of getting that first date and smashing it. In fact - after I got a date booked, I preferred to keep quite over txt, just so I wouldn't fuck anything up lol. Just a confirmation the day before. So yeah - improving your game pre-first date will always help (if she wants you bad enough she'll find a way), then when you think she's int…
/r/seduction14/06/18 11:44 PM
2

Maybe you act different with the girls you are into to the girls who you aren't. Don't put the girls you find super hot on a pedestal, they're just normal girls like the girls you aren't into.
/r/seduction14/06/18 09:29 AM
7

She's paid to talk to you and be polite. She's not answering your question because it's a bit weird, and she doesn't want to encourage the weird emails. Unless you're getting strong IOI's my guess is you've blown it with this woman (or more realistically mistaken work friendliness for something more).
/r/seduction14/06/18 09:28 AM
2

The transition to the first date is important, try hard to make that happen. Why are you getting her number then texting the next day? Why not arrange then and there when you're on a high point chatting? A number isn't a goal in itself, the date is a goal and the number is just a way to keep in touch. If you are playing boring txt tag trying to set a time, just call her. I used to do this, and it makes my life way easier. Yeah, these days some people aren't too comfortable on the phone, but I ha…
/r/seduction14/06/18 09:24 AM
1

Yeah, seriously. It was a huge breakthrough for me when I realised that days I was depressed were days where I hadn't had enough sleep the night before. Everyone is different, but I need enough sleep to be normal. I can then become extra confident through the endorphin/adrenaline hit I get through exercise.
/r/seduction12/06/18 12:25 PM
2

Switching to email is a bit weird, you'll do better if you stop doing that! Same with facebook if you've just met - they might not want to share their profile right off due to stalkers. Try switching to SMS - even then some girls won't give out their phone number until after the first date. Give them a reason to want to contact you outside of the dating site.
/r/seduction12/06/18 04:57 AM
3

Exercise helps a ton to boost confidence. Other than that, it's just practise. Make sure you're getting enough sleep too. Is there any pattern between the days you're less confident and how much sleep you get, exercise you do, or what you eat? Try paying attention and seeing if you can find a pattern.
/r/seduction12/06/18 04:14 AM
3

Usually I'd say text whatever and whenever you want, you're the leader - but it does seem like you've been a bit needy. I don't think it matters too much if you send this particular text or not, but you already messed up by being too needy before the exam. She might still be into you, so don't give up, but dial it back a bit.
/r/seduction12/06/18 04:03 AM
2

I'd ignore the facebook thread, don't give it air or feed the drama. The key to escalating is to try small things and watch for feedback. Ideally you should lead with a small escalation, and she should match the escalation to let you know it's OK. If she rejects the escalation (e.g. by moving your hand off her leg, or turning away) then you escalated too fast, and need to go back a few steps and re-establish attraction or trust. Maybe you were at fault in this situation because you weren't watch…
/r/seduction07/06/18 04:46 AM
1

If you're showing off a strong style, you're going to turn off 99% of women, but turn on the 1% who are into it. So rocking out as a metalhead gets the girls who are into that super interested, and the rest are 'meh'. If you're dressed as Mr average, then no-one is super into that, but no-one will be turned off either. Also it could just be you're more self confident when dressed up.
/r/seduction06/06/18 05:36 AM
3

You're invested in meeting new interesting people. You don't know if she's one or not yet...
/r/seduction05/06/18 06:00 AM
2

I'm a pretty terrible dancer, but I've had girls comment positively on my dancing just because I put some energy into it and have fun. Dance classes are fine to go to alone or with a guy friend, women outnumber the men so you'll be a hot commodity. Like the others said, salsa/bachata are basically sex on the dance floor (Salsa you're leading your partner almost 100%, feels so good if you get in sync, Bachata is basically her humping your leg). Swing looks fun, but I agree on the other types of d…
/r/seduction04/06/18 11:22 PM
3

Could have asked her to share your seat ;-)
/r/seduction04/06/18 11:16 PM
2

Is that 19 hours of lectures, or 19 hours including study and homework? If you're doing a full course load don't worry about it at all. If you're doing significantly less than 45 hours lecturesetc + study + travel then you could maybe get a part time job - I'd optimise on getting something out of it other than money, either experience in your field or some other thing that will help you. Anyway, your real problem is that you feel like you'll be judged for being unemployed. I think it's a bad fea…
/r/seduction04/06/18 04:30 AM
3

So are you in full time education or not? No way you can do a 9-5 AND full time education.
/r/seduction04/06/18 03:13 AM
3

Aren't you at school, which in theory should be a full time job? Priority #1 should be doing great in school. If you can take a job on top of that, that's great, but don't let it mess up your prime goal, which is the paper from school. What might be better than getting just any job is doing some work in the field you're aiming for with school. You don't need to hide your unemployment from women. You're not unemployed, you're studying so you can get a great job later. You don't come off as lazy. …
/r/seduction04/06/18 12:56 AM
5

Yes, sounds like fear. Try it, you might like it.
/r/seduction04/06/18 12:51 AM
2

You can do enthusiastic consent from a place of power if you like, just need to make sure your vibe is consistent. The more normal way is to do mico-escalations and read her body language to get a yes or a no. Anyway, the main problem is all in your head and a self confidence thing. You already have the realisation that not going for the kiss confuses them, so instead of thinking about yourself "will I get rejected?" (who cares) think about them "Oh man, she's going to be bummed out if I don't m…
/r/seduction04/06/18 12:50 AM
6

Headphones could be a signal NOT to talk to them, and in the middle of a workout isn't the time to approach. Watch to see if someone is checking you out, smile, and say hi between sets. Talk about workout routines.
/r/seduction04/06/18 12:46 AM
1

Get hobbies where you meet people, and learn how to hold a conversation. Practise makes perfect, and getting people to talk about themselves is key.
/r/seduction04/06/18 12:44 AM
1

Just go somewhere quiet outside the house. Why are you thinking 9 weeks ahead with a girl you haven't asked out yet? Things shouldn't take that long. You should be getting a kiss on the first date. Ask her out for coffee, if things are going well, go to a quiet park.
/r/seduction01/06/18 12:02 AM
1

The whole point of the meetups is that if you're in a decent sized city there are a ton of them, and people come and go the whole time. Gives you a low pressure environment to work on your social skills, and usually everyone else is in the same boat of wanting to meet new people. Yes, just throwing random shit at the wall and watching what works and what doesn't is the perfect approach! The key here is learning to read body language, so you can tell what is working and what isn't in real time. O…
/r/seduction31/05/18 11:55 PM
3

Do it. Keep doing it every time you feel this way, and eventually you'll get more in tune as to what the subtleties mean. It's absolutely not a problem to ask someone if they'd like to grab a coffee.
/r/seduction31/05/18 07:25 AM
1

Toastmasters could be a good formal location. Try joining social groups from the Internet - meetup.com or reddit meetups or whatever. Lots of other people trying to make friends, and it's low stakes 'cause it's not your regular place. Can you find a wingman from here to hang out with who might give you some in person hints? And am I autistic? Definitely not strongly autistic. Other than that - does it matter either way? You've decided to work on your social skills either way.
/r/seduction31/05/18 07:18 AM
2

Arrange to hang out again on that first meeting. Ask them out for a coffee or whatever.
/r/seduction29/05/18 02:02 AM
4

You find out by going over and talking to her. With practise you'll learn to read body language better and be able to focus on the girls who are into you, but it's never a bad idea to just assume she's into you and take it from there.
/r/seduction29/05/18 12:55 AM
1

Try asking them out BEFORE the conversation gets boring. Improving your flirting skills will help, but focus on a) leaving the conversation on a high point (so she wants more and you're not being needy), and b) asking to meet sooner.
/r/seduction28/05/18 11:25 PM
0

Honestly, I don't communicate with my SO over txt or facebook much except for logistics. We live together, so I have enough chat during the evenings. Other than that, flirting txting is just the same as normal flirting - push pull, tease, etc. Main thing is that she's already your gf, so don't act super weird and mess it up!
/r/seduction28/05/18 08:22 AM
2

Sounds like you sorted out your body, now you need to sort out your game. You might have some bad old beliefs from getting rejected before, if so, try to ignore them. So how many girls are you approaching (real life or Internet)? How many are you having conversations with? How many are you asking out? Don't focus on rejections, focus on things you can control like how many girls you ask out, what long term percentage are going to the next stage, etc.
/r/seduction28/05/18 08:20 AM
2

I haven't used coaching, but I did do some certifications in life coaching. The basics of making achievable goals and tracking your progress are super helpful in my opinion. You can look up how to do these yourself. Like anything, if you've got the money personal attention can get you where you're going faster, but 99% of the time you can figure it out yourself.
/r/seduction28/05/18 08:16 AM
1

If you believe you can't succeed, you probably won't (because you won't try). You need to start believing in yourself, even if you "fake it till you make it" for a while. im very indecisive i can change my mind 10 times before i take some kind of action Well that's something you can work on. 9 times out of 10 it doesn't matter too much what a decision is, it's more important that you choose something and go for it with all your heart. Next time you're unsure, tell yourself it doesn't matter and …
/r/seduction28/05/18 08:09 AM
1

You're the man. If you want to message her, message her. Yes, don't act clingy, but it's also OK to show interest and desire proportional to the interest she's shown you.
/r/seduction28/05/18 05:24 AM
1

That wasn't the country I was thinking!
/r/seduction28/05/18 05:23 AM
1

Sounds like the worst part is within your head. You're feeling ashamed on behalf of your countrymen, while you're better than that. Desperate = clingy. You can show your attraction to someone while keeping a take it or leave it attitude. The key to interacting well is to show strong interest within her comfort level. Too little and she'll get bored or assume you're not interested, too much and you're showing bad social skills. You'll pick it up with practise.
/r/seduction28/05/18 05:23 AM
1

You're still young, plenty of time. Sounds like you're on the right track. Maybe post some specifics so we can help with something concrete to speed up your progress? Do some inner work and change your beliefs about yourself too - you're not a low value person.
/r/seduction28/05/18 04:41 AM
1

It's meeting someone new with no introduction. Here's an example: Hi Blessme88, what's up?
/r/seduction28/05/18 04:39 AM
2

One thing I found interesting was that it was much easier for me to try and get sex and turn it into a relationship than it was to get a relationship from the get go. In my experience, in modern dating, sex comes BEFORE a committed relationship. Once you've got to the point you've had sex less game is needed, you just need to not mess up and you're all good.
/r/seduction28/05/18 04:38 AM
2

No reason not to be friendly, but if she flaked on wanting to meetup you shouldn't invest in the relationship.
/r/seduction03/05/18 05:01 AM
2

What you did sounds fine. I'd have asked her out for coffee in a way that shows I'm into her "Hey I like xyz about you, would you like to get coffee sometime?" in the first meet, then she knows why she's giving you her number, and you save some time if she rejects you then. You're not going to get a date from every girl, and probably your worst mistake was getting too excited over having her snapchat details. You could have walked with her if she seemed into you. If she didn't want to walk with …
/r/seduction03/05/18 04:15 AM
2

Getting a snapchat or number shouldn't generally be a goal in itself (except in Internet dating) - it's just a way to keep contact so you can organise meeting up again (which is a real achievement). And yes - girls will quickly give up on you if you are not sending out the right signals. Luckily you don't need to perform by being a rockstar comedian or story teller. The main thing is to keep the escalation going - that's what makes an interaction exciting. It sounds like you're a pretty cool dud…
/r/seduction03/05/18 03:53 AM
3

Part of it is being in a new situation - because you're not sure how to react you automatically go into safe mode. The more you get yourself into situations like this, the easier it will be for you to flirt back. The other half is learning to get out of your own head. The time for analysis is after the encounter, not during it.
/r/seduction03/05/18 03:49 AM
1

If you're unlikely to run into a girl again, nothing wrong with setting something up straight away - either say you're enjoying her company and would like to train with her again or just straight up ask her on a date. Key thing is that this is a place you'll be coming back to often, so be totally cool about rejections and make sure you don't create drama by having two fb likely to run into each other.
/r/seduction03/05/18 03:46 AM
2

I agree. Either she thinks you're too much of a player and that's not what she wants, or you're not enough of a player and she's not interested. If it's just one girl don't worry about it - if it keeps coming up then there must be something you're doing that's giving off one of the above vibes.
/r/seduction03/05/18 02:10 AM
2

I agree. Just run your usual game. You still need to demonstrate attraction to her, while showing her your new non-needy self.
/r/seduction03/05/18 02:08 AM
1

You've got some good advice about building a social circle, and you can put that into action right away. You're telling me you're money and living situation is a big thing though, so work on that. Personally I'd be less afraid of shared living - yes it sucks, but in a way you're already doing shared living with your father, but in the middle of nowhere. That's me though - you can set your own priorities. So can you get a new job? In my industry at least, the best way to get pay rises is to switc…
/r/seduction02/05/18 11:33 PM
3

Have you got a plan? You say you haven't got the lifestyle you want, but do you know what it is, exactly? How you need to get there? The difference between where you're at now and where you want to be? Can you break the journey up into steps? Can you break each step up even smaller, so it's so easy anyone could do it? Can you put these tiny steps into a weekly / monthly schedule?
/r/seduction02/05/18 12:30 AM
1

As you get to know each other, slowly communicate that you are interested in her. This should be both verbal "Wow you like yyyy? That's awesome!" and physical (ramp up the touching). At the end of the date (assuming it goes well) you want to be kissing or asking her home, so make sure you escalate enough. You can also ask her on a 2nd date right after the first date (e.g. go from coffee to dinner).
/r/seduction25/04/18 05:59 AM
2

Ask him on a date.
/r/seduction25/04/18 05:27 AM
1

Yup. Got braces in my late 20's. Meeting ladies was the same or maybe easier. Coolest thing is that even though you have to have the braces for a long time, your teeth start looking better almost immediately, which I never realised.
/r/seduction24/04/18 10:57 AM
2

Figure out if your beliefs are harming or helping you. Lose the harmful beliefs, and keep the helpful ones.
/r/seduction24/04/18 10:54 AM
2

Find a woman who is sane, and reward emotional stability. Too many people provide rewards (attention) for drama, when really you need to be rewarding the behaviours you value.
/r/seduction24/04/18 10:52 AM
1

Ask him on a date or hang out one on one and do normal flirting stuff... that's where the build up happens.
/r/seduction17/04/18 11:45 PM
1

I'd go for a direct-ish approach. Say hi, ask her how her game/practice/whatever went. If she seems happy to talk to you, ask her if she'd like to go on a casual coffee date. If she says yes, get some form of contact (phone #?) and arrange it later.
/r/seduction17/04/18 11:30 AM
2

Do whatever you did to get that first kiss. Worked last time didn't it?
/r/seduction17/04/18 11:10 AM
2

Try again - if he's as awkward as you say then there's a good chance he's just scared, bless him.
/r/seduction17/04/18 04:01 AM
1

This matches my style. I think a lot of the advice is aimed at giving the newbs any structure at all, which helps them make the approaches, play the numbers, get the experience to understand body language and other social subtleties. Once you can tell when a girl is interested or not, then it's like playing the game with a cheatsheet - you can tell what moves work on what girl, what doesn't, and everything become so much easier.
/r/seduction17/04/18 03:59 AM
3

Sounds like you handled it perfectly!
/r/seduction11/04/18 11:59 AM
13

It sounds like the "you're too nice" comes from a place of "I'm not good enough for you" not a "you're a loser nice guy" kind of way, and she's telling you she'll fall for you if you let her. Go for it.
/r/seduction11/04/18 11:17 AM
7

Seems like it could very well work out if you want to make it more serious. Ask her, not us. Even if she's not into it, if you bring it up casually you should be able to keep your FB relationship, or if you can't handle that, at least you know where you are.
/r/seduction11/04/18 11:16 AM
1

I never did it, but maybe it'll work for you? Lots of people say it's a great place...
/r/seduction11/04/18 05:12 AM
1

Hi mate, Yeah, height helps, but we all have advantages and disadvantages, and I was a 6'2 virgin who'd never even been kissed at one point. I do function pretty well, but I've also created a life for myself that makes the most of my strengths and hides the weaknesses. I work from home. I don't really have a boss. I have pretty decent social skills now (due to a shitload of effort learning them), but it's still pretty much "emulator mode" if you know what I mean. I have no problem with women wha…
/r/seduction11/04/18 04:52 AM
1

Yeah, I always found the advice to meet people in bars strange, they're less geared to interaction than clubs in my experience. Maybe it's a US thing. Nightclubs interaction between strangers is expected though - the whole point of them is either drugs, sex, or dancing (in that order!)
/r/seduction10/04/18 10:47 PM
1

You're right!
/r/seduction10/04/18 10:20 AM
1

Sounds like it's not great, but I got away with bad teeth for 10+ years and got plenty of action. I'd try to find a way to fix the teeth eventually, not worry about baldness (all high testosterone guys go bald!), and enjoy life in the meantime. You can still do well just as you are.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:51 AM
2

I'm sorry :( Better to be rejected than not even have tried though. The first step to getting really good at something is sucking at it.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:39 AM
2

How bad are your teeth? I had bad teeth until I was 30ish - it would look like one of the two front teeth was missing in many situations because it was pushed so far back in. I tried never to smile. Still got dates, girlfriends etc. Pretty sure it got easier after I got them fixed ($10k for me), but it was getting easier with time anyway. You'll be fine.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:37 AM
1

Also went with friends sometimes too, so it wasn't always alone.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:30 AM
9

Back in the day when I did clubs, I had a favourite club and I got to know people there. Yeah, it felt awkward to me sometimes, but over time I knew enough of the other regulars that I'd always have someone to hang out with if needed.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:29 AM
3

But yes - I think it's generally better to have the social skills so you don't have to ask verbally, unless it's a girl that needs/wants that extra verbal layer.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:27 AM
2

Not always - feminist girls who are into active consent love it. Anyway, ask or not, you should have a good idea if she wants to or not by how she's reacting to you - are you both touching, having a good time together, has she come with you somewhere quieter, have you had some intimate talk, etc? If you don't ask I'd "ask" by looking into her eyes, holding her, and moving closer. If she goes "mmm" that's a yes. If she looks panicked then that's a no dawg.
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:26 AM
1

Is there anything I can help you with? If you do tinder are you getting matches?
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:13 AM
1

Self diagnosed (mild) aspie here mate :) That's what got me started with all of this in the first place - I couldn't understand any of this stuff, and it was a real problem for me. Yeah, I'm lucky due to height, and I'm not a troll (deffo not good looking either though). The money thing is a bit of a stretch - I'd just broken up with an ex, was feeling sorry for myself and rented a place to myself. I'm old enough to be over roommates. I was spending way too much on rent and thinking of getting a…
/r/seduction10/04/18 06:11 AM
1

Sorry, by club I meant crossfit, knitting club, something like that - not a nightclub. I agree nightclubs aren't the place for you. You don't need to work on meeting the standards of women any more (although no reason not to continue for your own sake) - you've achieved that, even if you can't see it yourself yet. The next stage is working on your social skills. I don't know what that means for you - if it's the sort of thing I suggested, or if you need to scale it back and work on your personal…
/r/seduction10/04/18 05:37 AM
1

It's already a hookup app (or at least a dating app), so if a girl is talking to you, then attraction is assumed. Because it's based on such a limited profile and mainly your main picture, I found the girls who I did meet from Tinder were totally into me physically, where girls I met from other dating apps were less attracted to me on a visceral level, but we ticked each others boxes in other ways. I admit I did cheat by listing my height and stating I live alone (code for rich in this city). I …
/r/seduction10/04/18 05:30 AM
1

It sounds like your belief that you're not good enough for women yet is deep, and nothing I'll say will change that in a hurry. Please please please though - you are good enough, even if you don't believe it. Start working on dating skills (if you haven't already). Even if you don't think it will get you anywhere yet (and it will, even if you can't see it), you'll be building the skills needed. All sorts of guys find women, and you sound to me like you're already ahead of a lot of them, even if …
/r/seduction10/04/18 03:43 AM
1

Good call. She'll probably put up a fight, but she has to put out or get out.
/r/seduction09/04/18 11:47 PM
1

Getting older doesn't mean you look less attractive - I think I look better than I ever have, due to fixing my teeth, better haircuts, and gaining weight. Probably the same for you if you lost all that weight and work hard at the gym. And seriously, 26 ain't old! That I'm sure is the single biggest obstacle for me at the moment. I don't know if that is surmountable at my stage in life, but the silver lining in the worst case scenario is that I won't really have to face the music considering that…
/r/seduction09/04/18 11:46 PM
1

Well you know your teeth, and it may be more hassle than it's worth. Not focusing on it is a good mindset, but it might be worthwhile checking in as to what your options are just in case. My tooth that was pushed way in actually got filed down heaps because it hadn't worn down in sync with the rest of my teeth. If you do, keep your head on straight. I went to a super fancy guy as apparently my mouth was too complex for my normal dental practice and he was a proper cosmetic kinda guy and said a f…
/r/seduction09/04/18 10:46 AM
7

Wherever attractive women are.
/r/seduction09/04/18 08:39 AM
1

She's not interested. You could try to start acting sexual (as friends) to see where it leads. Think back massages, side massages, front massages, outer massages, inner massages. If you're touching and holding hands, just keep ramping it up. Only hang out with her in situations where you can make that sort of thing happen, and if you can't keep escalating cut your losses. Honestly probably best to cut your losses, like /u/ortsnom is saying. It's (maybe) possible to turn this around, but you'll n…
/r/seduction09/04/18 08:39 AM
1

Stalked you some more - depending on how you're measuring you have a bigger cock than me, and I get told I have a large one. Stud ;-). Seriously - I always thought I was a bit below average in that department, but have been told by multiple women that it's actually the other way around.
/r/seduction09/04/18 08:23 AM
3

I had a quick stalk of your history. Sounds like you came from a bad place and are doing great. I'm seriously impressed you lost 210lbs - I had to gain weight, and the struggle to even do what comes naturally to most people gave me a lot of respect for those going the other way. (I'm now big enough and need to stop gaining, but whatever) You're not short (check out https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_average_human_height_worldwide ). My teeth used to be pretty bad - it looked like I had a toot…
/r/seduction09/04/18 08:19 AM
2

Well I mean it's kind of a circular statement you're making. If a man in unattractive, then by definition people aren't attracted to him. Then yeah - this guy was super fucking attractive - super social, able to make great experiences, travel the world etc. He still looked bad and had no money.
/r/seduction09/04/18 07:47 AM
1

Tinder is easy mode ;-)
/r/seduction09/04/18 07:45 AM
3

Trust me he was ugly, and she was super hot. But you're saying "unattractive guys that women don't like can't get women", which is a tautology. OP's argument works just as well with looks as it does with social status or money - you don't need to be good looking to get women (but it helps). It seems like it's a fixed belief in your head that you are ugly and that women don't like ugly men. This belief will be holding you back more than your looks. What's more, you're not the best judge of your o…
/r/seduction09/04/18 06:17 AM
1

Even if you don't have the skills and work hard, you'll do well eventually too ;-)
/r/seduction09/04/18 05:40 AM
4

Ugliest guy I ever met had a smoking hot blonde girlfriend. They were backpacking around the world together, surviving off odd jobs and eating leftover food from hostel freezers. If you've got the skills, you can overcome any handicap.
/r/seduction09/04/18 05:39 AM
13

You don't need it, but it helps. Of course being a rich guy with heaps of friends and no game is going to do worse than a poor loner with game, but all other things equal, attractive traits are... attractive. So you're a loser in your thirties - work on your game, AND your life. Interestingly, the skills you learn from PUA translate well into making money, so both sides feed into each other.
/r/seduction09/04/18 05:34 AM
8

asked my Asian female friends and they said they don't want there to be any expectations. When they're on Tinder, they're open to relationships or even hookups, but they want to become friends first.* Sounds like the girls are telling you exactly what's up. Only thing is you need to translate is "become friends first" to "want to make sure you're not a creepy weirdo".
/r/seduction09/04/18 03:36 AM
3

Sounds like the girls are nerdy & shy, and want a more low pressure first meet. I'd suggest this escalation ladder: Match on Tinder Chat a bit on Tinder Ask to meet. Don't say as friends, don't say as a date. At a minimum, end the date with a kiss unless she's obviously not into it. It's not about becoming friends first, it's about providing that low pressure first date. On Tinder, they haven't even met you yet, so it's no wonder they don't want "date pressure".
/r/seduction09/04/18 03:34 AM
1

Escalate
/r/seduction05/04/18 02:21 AM
1

OP is obviously in the top 20% of men ;-). Sexy beast.
/r/seduction05/04/18 02:05 AM
1

Question 1 - is it okay for you? Sure I guess, that's up to you. Question 2 - are you acting needy by driving 25 mins? Not so long as she's also investing as much as you are. 25 mins from you and 15 from her isn't a problem, so you're all good.
/r/seduction05/04/18 01:52 AM
1

1) Tell some crazy awesome story from when you were in andalucia. 2) Boring topic, personally I'd go on a rant about how much I hate banks but more productive would be to change the topic. 3) Ask about yoga, fav moves, tell her how doing yoga makes you feel good, talk about your similar activities. 4) Change topic to something more interesting, or make fun of boring towns, or tell stories about your hometown. 5) Get her to banter to you, ask about some of her crazy travel stories, tell her some …
/r/seduction05/04/18 01:51 AM
79

I bet this is it - if you're not escalating they'll lose interest and assume you're either not interested or a pussy.
/r/seduction05/04/18 01:44 AM
3

Good advice - seems like the biggest obstacle here is not your flirting skills but your anxiety, so just keep it simple. The real key to flirtation is escalating at a sensible pace and the correct order. Honestly for now just start conversations with her, and if she's enjoying the interaction ask her on a date. At this point starting a conversation with her is an escalation from your current situation, and asking for a date is a big one. In between you want her to be smiling and enjoying the con…
/r/seduction04/04/18 10:48 PM
2

Change it up and start assuming they're interested in you. Not in a "I want to bang right away" kind of way, but in a "I want to go on a date get to know you kind of way". If you assume that and get it wrong, no big deal (so long as you don't act creepy). If you assume that and get it right, great. You're always falling too much on the side of assuming a girl isn't interested, and because you're not making moves you're not getting any feedback to let you know if that was the case or not. Switch …
/r/seduction04/04/18 10:40 PM
1

I used to pass notes to the girls next to me in lectures, but didn't go for the # close on first note. (Can't remember if the note was the first contact or not, but I remember passing notes and building attraction that way) Makes sense if the library is a quiet place, otherwise I'd be wondering why you didn't just talk to me like a normal person.
/r/seduction04/04/18 11:35 AM
1

Try dating apps? It's great to meet people in the wild, but dating apps can definitely help you meet strangers. Other than that, just practise, and figure it out. Try to find places that make this easier, like house parties. Learn to be social with everyone, not just romantic interests. Good luck!
/r/seduction04/04/18 11:23 AM
1

Is the low sex drive a problem for you? If so, doesn't seem like anything's changed and she's still low sex drive. No point trying to drink at a dry well...
/r/seduction04/04/18 07:12 AM
1

Make them bring you ice cream if you're feeling unloved.
/r/seduction04/04/18 06:02 AM
2

Find common interests, or failing that escalate. Everyone loves talking about themselves. The key is escalating though - even a boring conversation can be exciting if your conversation partner is rubbing your legs under the table. Just have to calibrate it to be exciting but not too much for the situation.
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:55 AM
1

YES - approach!
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:42 AM
3

I think every relationship I ever had started as a fling, so it's not an either/or choice.
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:42 AM
3

Maybe you're trying too hard not to creep? Social intelligence is a must, but you do need to express interest at some point otherwise girls will see you as sexless. I'm not saying go into sex pest mode. I'm saying find some girls you like, and let them know you're into them.
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:41 AM
1

I bet you're missing a heap of signs.
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:38 AM
9

He's not kidding.
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:36 AM
13

Sounds like you have completed the first step of not being a boring person - being able to read the interest of your audience. So - just watch your conversation partner. If something makes them light up, talk about that more. If they start to look less interested, change subject (or disengage depending on context). Cheat mode - talk about them and their life. It's creepy to ask too many details machine gun style, but most people love talking all about themselves if you show interest. Advanced mo…
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:35 AM
8

Get out of your own head. She probably hasn't even noticed what's going on. Good news is that you have a ready made conversation - gym stuff. You could ask for or offer help spotting, or compare routines, whatever. See how it goes, build up the flirtyness, ask for a date. Next time don't move so slow - you might have wasted initial attraction, or she might see you as uninterested. But we don't know what's going on in her head at this point, so just start fresh.
/r/seduction04/04/18 05:30 AM
4

It's about having a strong frame. If you have a strong self belief and can laugh at stuff - people will follow you, instead of you following other peoples random (and often bad) frames. I remember I recently blew my girlfriend's mind, by locking my keys in my car 2 hours from home. She was starting to panic, but I just laughed and walked her down to the beach as planned. Took the train home, came back the next day to hang out again with my spare keys, problem solved, no worries. Anyway, it blew …
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:22 PM
1

It's a way to express interest in a socially acceptable way, a way to show off your strengths. You can't just go up to people and say "I'm super smart and a social butterfly" or "I know what makes women tick and am awesome in bed". It doesn't work, even if you have references (guess how I know that!). Flirting is showing off these things while expressing interest. Show, not tell.
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:14 PM
2

It's just a set of skills. Once you become socially aware, and able to read body language and subcontext it's like playing in cheat mode. Some guys learn it early, some guys work at it, some guys aren't interested in learning it.
/r/seduction15/12/16 10:15 PM
2

Hey if you like flipping a coin and following the decision you might like reading the fiction book The Dice Man by Luke Rhinehart. It's about a guy who does basically the same thing but with dice, but his options get slowly more and more fucked up. Not related to seduction, but it's an amazing book. A bit of a mindfuck..., so don't take it seriously (it's fiction!), but a good read.
/r/seduction15/12/16 10:11 PM
1

That's her frame, and it sounds like a bad frame you don't want to accept. Be the leader and take this relationship where you want it, and don't care too much about her reaction. If it doesn't work quickly it's probably not going to work at all, and there's plenty more women out there.
/r/seduction15/12/16 10:02 PM
1

Average height is average, and you know what - the average guy gets laid. You can work on your social skills.
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:38 AM
3

As you learn to read people better you'll be able to see the IOIs that were there all along, and make them into something more solid by your reactions. Other than that - hey sometimes, the girls seduce you. Sweeet!
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:37 AM
1

Read her reactions to see if you're moving to quickly or too slowly. Coming across as needy is more about how you react to her reactions, rather than your initial vibe. e.g. telling a girl you find her very attractive is not needy, getting upset if she won't kiss you right away is.
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:34 AM
3

Whatever you like. Drinks is usually a night time thing, so your options are more limited - take her home to play scrabble, go dancing, go for a night walk if she trusts you and it's safe. If you're meeting up earlier, getting something to eat is usually good.
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:31 AM
4

? What are you doing? You were unreactive to her IOIs because you didn't want to mess with your social circle, but you also tell her you don't believe in friendship (I assume you told her because you wanted her?)? Mixed signal city! No wonder she's acting weird. If you want her, escalate and show her you're into her. If you don't want her, don't.
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:29 AM
2

Who knows? Have you tried escalating?
/r/seduction15/12/16 11:25 AM
1

Three years of therapy is plenty, but three therapists isn't. It's common to need to try a few until you get one that works.
/r/seduction14/12/16 03:39 AM
2

About your feet, go talk to a doctor about that. No idea if it's a valid concern or not, but I'm sure it's more of a medical issue than an inner game issue. I grew up being very tall, and hunched down to avoid standing out too much etc. What works for me is muscular exercise. Having more muscles seems to help my posture, and also the endorphins from exercise make me naturally stand tall.
/r/seduction13/12/16 09:22 PM
2

My pleasure, good luck!
/r/seduction13/12/16 06:40 AM
3

Well I was thinking about when I was pretty much burned out from my first start up. I think the first thing I did was moved to a nicer house and away from the noisy hot damp shithole I was living in. I also learned to take it easy and not take myself so seriously. Sounds like you need to go through standard anti-depression stuff. For myself, I've learned that if I'm feeling depressed 99% of the time it's because I didn't sleep well. Once I figure that out, I pretty much just have to put up with …
/r/seduction13/12/16 06:21 AM
7

A good tip I heard is whenever anyone says this sort of thing, when they say "anyone" they mean YOU, but don't want to make it personal. So translated it reads: Absolutely!, but /u/GonnaGoToSpace , i don't know if I'm reading this wrong, I just want to let you know I don't really date you right now, but I really like hanging out with you and talking! And I'm sorry if I've got that wrong but I just wanted to let you know
/r/seduction13/12/16 06:10 AM
2

Sounds like you're in a tough place. When I was in a similar situation and feeling overwhelmed, what helped me was to just focus on fixing ONE THING at a time, and slowly clawing my way back to normality. So - I'm sure there are a bunch of things in your life that could be better - are there any small things that you could work on, that are achievable, that will make you feel better? You say you gave up your life, job, family, and support - how are they going today?
/r/seduction13/12/16 05:57 AM
1

Well when you get more experienced, you should be able to figure out the signals and read people well, but to begin with - if a girl is kissing you she likes you as more than friends. Yes - I've stayed friends with failed dates before, and like it. I generally try not to sleep with their friends too much as it's a bit awkward, but it's happened. Remember to make male friends too!
/r/seduction11/12/16 11:08 AM
1

Comfort = not badmouthing exes (so you know you won't talk shit about her), not being shocked at sex talk, not judging her, etc. Attraction = show interest in her, make moves, demonstrate social intelligence, normal intelligence, big muscles, fitness
/r/seduction11/12/16 11:06 AM
1

Hah, I remember when the girl I was shagging called some other guy she wasnt' shagging to rescue her from her bicycle's flat tyre! They ended up together some time later... No real moral to the story there though!
/r/seduction11/12/16 11:03 AM
1

Comfort is about making sure she feels safe, making sure she knows you're not going to turn into a creep, constantly text her, slut shame her, etc... Attraction is about showing interest in her and showing your own positive attributes (indirectly so as not to brag). They're not mutually exclusive, you can do both. Are you confusing comfort with not expressing interest?
/r/seduction09/12/16 03:47 AM
1

Practise.
/r/seduction09/12/16 03:24 AM
1

Moving to a good city sounds like a great opportunity to re-invent yourself and try out new behaviours. Ask the sister who likes you out on a coffee date or something - you think you have a problem showing intent and taking initiative, so... start showing intent and taking initiative. Asking the sister out on a date is a very good start. PS - I wouldn't bother starting small - you need to go big because the right level is probably so much more than you're imagining right now. If you can't - just…
/r/seduction09/12/16 01:50 AM
1

That's not unique, it's what most of us went through. The normal advice still applies to you. Meet women outside of work, less pressure and consequences if it gets weird (as you've found).
/r/seduction09/12/16 01:39 AM
1

It's the same mindset applied to a different area. With money there's the default route that everyone talks about - getting a degree and then getting a safe corporate job. Just like with dating advice, that's not the whole story, and not even that accurate these days when degrees are practically mandatory and don't guarantee anything. Once you've learned that you don't need to follow the default hollywood story in dating (and that it doesn't work), you naturally look to other areas that are the …
/r/seduction09/12/16 01:37 AM
1

Yes, go see a doctor! The crooked teeth are no problem for oral, mine were way worse for a long time.
/r/seduction08/12/16 10:45 PM
1

You've already arranged to meet? Why bother texting other than to confirm details. Wow her in person :)
/r/seduction08/12/16 10:43 PM
1

Sounds like you're on the right track. This stuff can be hard when you're just starting out, but hey - you've kissed two girls and slept with one. Honestly, depending on who you're approaching a 0.25% success rate isn't that bad - if you want to get laid again, you know how to do it, and maybe it will only take 350 approaches this time... General self confidence can help with self confidence in specific circumstances (and vise versa), so it's important that you make sure you're living an awesome…
/r/seduction08/12/16 10:42 PM
5

Who knows what's up with her - maybe she lost her phone, maybe she's taking dating advice from some dodgy website and showing she's got other stuff going on, maybe she isn't interested, maybe she was too nervous because she likes you so much. 4 dates in you should be getting comfortable with each other and knowing what the relationship is about. I agree it sounds like you're moving too slow and she's reading that as low interest FROM YOU. You've got the date, don't fuck it up for yourself!
/r/seduction08/12/16 10:29 PM
6

Chill - there's no shame in giving it your best shot and failing - the only shame is in wanting something badly and NOT trying for it. You did good - you might not have got a girl, but you got more experience and you'll be better next time. Who knows what was up with that one girl - there's a good chance she really did have a boyfriend and was just enjoying the attention. "I don't think you would be interested in knowing?" is a bit of a weak frame - you're showing yourself as being boring. Try "…
/r/seduction08/12/16 10:25 PM
2

Get over the fear by doing it. If you can't do it yet, do part of it, then do all of it. Practise makes perfect.
/r/seduction08/12/16 10:20 PM
3

You can read books and watch videos about all this stuff, but the key is to start tuning into it. Look at the body language, guess what it means, then after taking action based on it you should know if you were right about it or not. After you've been doing this for a while you'll be right more often than not. It feels like a super power after you get good at it! All the books & advice in the world won't mean anything without practise and experience. In my opinion, reading body language (and oth…
/r/seduction07/12/16 05:25 AM
1

Hahaha, yup. Also don't do what I did and end up with a facebook full of just women you've met romantically. Why not make friends with guys more?
/r/seduction06/12/16 10:05 PM
1

I usually just try not to fuck it up once I've got a date, so I keep it minimal. But if it's working for you, keep doing it. Whatever you want to do really - if you like texting text, if not, don't. It doesn't really matter.
/r/seduction06/12/16 10:02 PM
2

It's a big problem, but this is one of the few places that will actually encourage men to take action.
/r/seduction06/12/16 10:00 PM
2

I never did the mirror thing on drugs. You know when you say a word over and over again, and it starts to lose it's meaning and becomes just a bunch of sounds? It's kind of like that. It sounds like the dancefloor thing is working way better than day game for you, so keep at it. You don't have to play the seduction game on hard mode when easy mode works so much better for you. Hopefully as you get more success there it will help bolster your self image. I always feel hypocritical when I recommen…
/r/seduction06/12/16 09:48 PM
2

Negging got totally blown out of proportion, and never seemed like a good idea anyway. Kitt_55's answer is good.
/r/seduction06/12/16 11:03 AM
1

Yeah, if it's going well you can usually keep the date going - venue change, grab dinner, grab drinks, go home... If it's gone well I try to at least kiss, so there's definitely no misunderstanding where it's going.
/r/seduction06/12/16 11:01 AM
4

You probably have gotten IOI's, just have no way of seeing them, or if you do see them you don't believe it. Keep practising with the usual game stuff you'll see in the sidebar. In the meantime, it seems like you've made a breakthrough from mediation, mindfulness, etc, so keep doing that. Look up CBT (it's pretty similar to mindfulness really). I spent some time telling my negative thoughts to FUCK OFF, so you can try that, or you can try watching them, accepting they're there, then letting them…
/r/seduction06/12/16 10:57 AM
9

I prefer dating girls that smush right away - shows they have a good sex drive and that they're physically into me. Most of the women I've slept with have been within 3 dates. It doesn't seem to hurt my chances of getting a relationship.
/r/seduction06/12/16 12:35 AM
2

Same way as a guy
/r/seduction06/12/16 12:34 AM
1

Yeah, I'm getting an overthinking vibe! You'll be fine, keep exploring, experiment, see what works for you. If the overthinking gets in the way try meditation or cbt, but if you find it helpful keep on with it :)
/r/seduction06/12/16 12:15 AM
1

Well the strongest beliefs are your own! Anyway, you're asking a super general question, there is no good answer. Work with the material out there, get a ton of experience, then when you find yourself always getting stuck at some point tell us about it, THEN we can be properly helpful.
/r/seduction06/12/16 12:12 AM
2

I'm not especially scientific about my approach to this stuff, though. If I see a girl I like I remind myself that 'generally speaking, people I like and admire will like and admire me too' (that's not arrogance, it's just a healthy belief to hold). Totally - if I'm super into a girl, there's a better than average chance she's into me. Love your strong frame.
/r/seduction05/12/16 11:39 PM
2

It's been a while since I read Art of Seduction, but you you it you may find Influence by Cialdini interesting too.
/r/seduction05/12/16 11:38 PM
1

Hah, I've never stuttered, but I have a bad habit of starting a sentence, wanting to change it and starting it again. No worries with my dating life :) Sounds like you might enjoy meditation. Read whatever books interest you (seduction or whatever), keep whatever resonates with you and ignore the rest. You'll need to try out new beliefs that don't feel 100% authentic occasionally to grow, but you can do that at your own pace. So - are you meeting plenty of new people?
/r/seduction05/12/16 11:25 PM
4

Yes? Basically you start not knowing a girl, then you get to know her casually (like on a coffee date, this is where you're up to), then you get to know her intimately. You're half way there. Try kissing the girls at the end of coffee dates. https://m.popkey.co/cc2afd/7QwXz.gif
/r/seduction05/12/16 11:20 PM
2

Strong
/r/seduction05/12/16 11:19 PM
1

It might be that they are eyeing you up, but you don't have the ability to notice yet. Also make yourself more approachable - here's a stupid idea - bring a magic wand to the club, tap your favourite girls on the head, tell them they're your favourite, AND MOVE ON. I bet they'll watch you then! Sounds more like inner game though, try concentrating on having fun and not worrying about the outcome so much.
/r/seduction05/12/16 11:15 PM
3

I agree :)
/r/seduction29/11/16 08:39 AM
3

Forget about her not replying for 24 hours. Maybe she lost her phone, maybe she was busy, maybe she was getting dating advice online, maybe she's following some bullshit rules, whatever. Doesn't make any difference to you and your game unless she makes it a habit. If you've already slept with her it's kind of weird to assume she's not going to want to sleep with you again. If she's just after a friends with benefits kind of thing you might be putting her off by moving too slowly / acting unsure.…
/r/seduction29/11/16 04:48 AM
1

Experiment and learn what works for YOU, learn to read peoples reactions to know if you should escalate, chill, or back off, and finally GO FOR IT.
/r/seduction29/11/16 03:19 AM
1

Tons of people are like this. It makes life easy for you if you're not a chatterbox yourself, but shows a little bit of a lack of self-awareness on their part if the whole convo is about them.
/r/seduction29/11/16 01:05 AM
3

Here's another thought - maybe a ton of the women ARE into you and you just don't realise it? Remember you've usually got to lead the interaction, so if you're not setting up a second date or going for kisses they probably think YOU are the one that's not interested. Maybe try going for a kiss at the end of your next date. If you're unsure as to whether she'd be into it just ask - yeah it's much smoother to know she wants it and I'm sure someone will be along in a moment to say asking is beta, b…
/r/seduction29/11/16 01:02 AM
1

I agree. What you are doing now isn't working for you, so try showing a bit more of your awesome self to her. In my online dating game, I always swayed between a low key profile so I wouldn't put people off, to a middle of the road one, to a balls out show off one. Honestly, seems like showing off worked better. It's always good to have her work for a few things, to "discover them for herself". It kind of hints that there's all sorts of other things you're not telling her about (which I'm sure i…
/r/seduction29/11/16 12:58 AM
3

I'm convinced the whole point of loud music in night clubs is so that you have to put your lips right up to her ear to talk. Milo's right - the talking isn't the key in clubs.
/r/seduction29/11/16 12:50 AM
1

It's assumed you're after sex or a relationship (which generally includes sex) when doing online dating, so there's no need to bring it up explicitly.
/r/seduction29/11/16 12:46 AM
1

Yes, 100%. You basically do something small and watch her reaction. If she likes it move forward, if not hang back a while. The key is taking very small steps forwards very quickly and watching her reaction, and you can go a long way super fast.
/r/seduction29/11/16 12:44 AM
3

That's no different to what most of us went through. Get out there, do your best, crash and burn a bunch of times, but keep learning & improving. There's a ton of info out there as to what to do. To get you started, here's my magic opener: "How's your day been?".
/r/seduction29/11/16 12:40 AM
1

Dear MsMiitz, Everybody is different, and it's all about finding the person who is compatible with you. I think if you meet some of the lovely dancers from Thailand you may in for a pleasant surprise at just how well their hoo-has fit with your man-garden.
/r/seduction21/11/16 10:42 PM
3

You went down on each other, it would be creepy and weird if you DIDN'T contact her again! I had a similar situation once where I hooked up with this girl I had the biggest stupidest crush ever on (don't ask) and the sex was fucking abysmal due to how nervous I was. I handled it by straight up contacting her the next day and saying the sex was shit and asking for a do-over, and luckily she agreed. You're probably better just not mentioning it and just picking up where you left off, but I just wa…
/r/seduction21/11/16 10:35 PM
1

I reckon it depends on compatibility. If you're a fat guy who loves eating you'll probably do great with fat girls who love eating, but it isn't going to work out with a sporty health nut. I remember how excited I was when I got to date a cybergoth. These guys look amazing and are so hot, but when I got to know her - turns out she was just a normal person like everyone else who liked to dress up. It even turned out that the cybergoth thing was a bit of a drag because I wasn't into that - I was m…
/r/seduction21/11/16 10:27 PM
2

Not quite the same, but when I was running my first company and had staff much older than me I grew a beard to look older and have a bit more authority. Now I'm older I want to look my age or slightly younger, but that's the way it goes! I also remember meeting this girl in a nightclub once - I said hi, and she straight up told me I was too young. I laughed and asked her what it was that I was too young for with a twinkle in my eye. Anyway, it didn't go anywhere that night, but I must have made …
/r/seduction21/11/16 10:12 PM
1

Hi GD, how's your week been? Don't worry about your housemates, they won't know unless you tell them. If your doctor's free options aren't working for you, many private places have sliding scales if you're not earning money. Try a few different options - different people and different methods, see what works for you and what doesn't and keep doing the things that work. Really that's the whole key of this whole community - try things that you wouldn't normally do, see what works and keep doing th…
/r/seduction21/11/16 12:33 AM
1

You're already doing well, you've figured out what the problem is, which is half the battle. Keep working at it, and each time you get to the stage where you start to fall into the negative thoughts watch what happens and learn to put it off for a little bit longer. If you can improve just the tiniest bit each time you'll get to where you want to be. Remember that it's OK to fuck up, it's part of the learning process. EVERYONE here has fucked up a whole heap before they got anywhere. So what's t…
/r/seduction10/11/16 08:22 PM
1

Keep your game on point, AND keep yourself looking good. Why not?
/r/seduction10/11/16 02:42 AM
2

Sounds like your mind gets into a groove that it's travelled many times before and you can't get out of it. My biggest recommendation would be to get real therapy. As well as that, see if there's a way to get affection without slipping onto that track. Maybe get a cuddle buddy, so you know there's nothing larger to mess up? Do they have cuddle parties near you? Try meditation as well - watch your mind fall into the track, observe it, realise what is happening, but keep a part of yourself just wa…
/r/seduction10/11/16 02:38 AM
1

You'll be fine with just your one close friend. It wouldn't hurt to be more social, but you can meet women whether your style is outgoing party animal or chilled out reserved guy. Would you like more friends? You can learn to have more, the same as you can learn to be better with ladies.
/r/seduction10/11/16 02:02 AM
1

Sweet! Next time you're feeling down, check to see when the last time you went outside or socialised was, and if it's been a while you know what the problem is.
/r/seduction10/11/16 12:56 AM
2

Dave?
/r/seduction10/11/16 12:54 AM
6

To change beliefs about yourself: Affirmations - Say something enough (and put emotional force with it) and you'll start to believe it. Mindfulness - Watch your thoughts. If a bad belief sneaks in throw it away (either tell it to FO with force, or just let it melt away quietly) Environment - Don't keep company with people who don't respect your new self confidence and beliefs Evidence - You're doing well with this already - you have a track record of success. Keep at it. As time goes by, the evi…
/r/seduction09/11/16 09:53 PM
2

PS - I've noticed that your post is all about you and barely mentions the girls - maybe this is carrying through to your relationships and the girls aren't interested in being a cog in WLTFW's life, they want more of a partnership.
/r/seduction09/11/16 09:33 PM
1

So are you breaking up with them, or are they breaking up with you? The first is down to you. The second - well analyse what's been going on and see if you can see any common threads.
/r/seduction09/11/16 09:31 PM
3

Are you going to be in the city? Just tell her that, and remind her who you are. She already wants to hang out, don't make this weird.
/r/seduction09/11/16 02:34 AM
1

Complement her after she's done something nice for you - "Hey, I love that you brought me tacos, that's awesome!" Complement her after she's moved the relationship along to the next step - "Wow, it's great that you can share these thoughts, it's great to have a conversation on this deeper level" Reward things that merit reward (she's proven herself to you), rather than surface things that she's not even purposefully worked on.
/r/seduction09/11/16 02:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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