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jasaminex Archive

View 3 posts and 47 comments by jasaminex on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I hope it helps! And best of luck with your studies! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/21 12:00 AM
16

I find that breaking up my day artificially helps a lot. I go on a short walk when I get up and when I finish my day, even if it's just to the end of my street and back - to make me feel like I've done a "commute". Also, I'm being really strict on what relaxing things I do at what times. Like, I listen to podcasts while I work but I make sure I have stuff that's my "work playlist" that I only listen to when I'm working.. Making a partition with the things you can control hugely helps not have th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 11:11 AM
1

Yessss! Good for you! ❤️ (I still haven't gotten over the joy of all the extra room in my bed!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 11:23 PM
16

Ugh. Same. I used to believe really strongly that the whole "men and women can't be friends" was rubbish and that it was insulting towards women to suggest that we weren't able to maintain platonic relationships with men. But honestly, I can count on one hand my friendships with men that haven't turned out to be "actually, he's always had a thing for me and was just waiting til I was single". A few months ago, after having moved cities, I was pleased to find that a few of my friends with similar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 11:09 PM
69

Yes! 100%. I broke up with my long term partner just before the original lockdown started. We'd been together 6 years, and STILL any indication of commitment would have him in panic mode. Getting married was something we never talked about because he just shut down if it came up. We were just starting to look for a place to live together, and he said that his priority was needing his own space in any house we bought "to get away from me" and after everything else, it just broke me, honestly. End…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 09:45 PM
9

Thank you for this post. I am doing a lot better! Still have off days when things are stressful but I have much better coping mechanisms now! I hope you are doing better too and yeah - I no longer talk about it in new relationships for exactly the above reasons!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:56 PM
20

Jfc, that makes me so angry and I'm sorry you had to put up with that shit. It is so hard to get through an ED, let alone when you have some idiot making it harder!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 07:53 PM
30

Yes! I am not willing to put up with a partner any more who loses their shit over nothing. It's so stressful! I used to dread going out with an ex because he would always get stressed about the parking (including when I was driving!). Every time. If anything, no matter how tiny, went wrong between the car and the destination, guaranteed the rest of the evening would be miserable, because there I would be trying to desperately salvage a nice evening with a sulky, sullen guy having a rant over som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 02:26 PM
18

Absolutely this. I've been in a relationship with a guy who I left before he turned physically violent towards me and there were signs - mainly him taking it out his anger on things around him. He'd punch walls or throw stuff around and eventually it escalated to smashing stuff during arguments, etc. It was quite clearly only a matter of time before it was me, not the wall he was punching. Because of this, I have really low tolerance for men who express their anger physically, and I find it VERY…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 02:16 PM
11

100%. Anyone, friend or partner, who tries to stifle your joy has no business in your life. My ex used to shush me for being "too enthusiastic" about things I cared about. He would tell me off for talking about stuff I liked or found interesting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:23 AM
53

This. ^ Best thing my ex ever did for me was sharing his reddit username with me, so I could see what kind of horrible things he said when he thought he was anonymous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 09:02 AM
6

Thiiiis. The whole "I want a more conservative girlfriend" just read to me as "I want a girl who isn't as confident about herself."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 11:17 PM
3

Oh god, yes. The number of posts that are: "he ignores me for days at a time, expects me to clean up after him and cook for him and when I went out on my one night off from working two jobs to support him, he forgot our kid existed because he had a Rocket League tournament. What am I doing wrong? PS. Don't tell me to break up with him cos I really love him and he's a really good person"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 11:10 PM
2

For me, I think it's in how sexual assault is often depicted. There is a world of difference between GoT and the Handmaid's Tale, for instance. Way too often in media, even if the show and the script is telling you how awful rape is - the camera is showing it like porn. The visual focus in a scene that is meant to be emotionally hard hitting shouldn't be still focused on sexualising a woman's body in the middle of a violent assault. Imo, the Handmaid's Tale is an example of this done well. It is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 07:58 AM
10

I love this. I was always the overexplainer in my 20s, telling men over and over again what I wanted them to do differently or what they'd done wrong and then repeating myself when they did the same thing again. Nah. They were the same age or older than me. Nobody had to nag me into managing basic tasks, why was I having to teach them how to have empathy or how to do the dishes or whatever else it was that day. I much prefer the idea of just sitting back, and seeing what they bring to you when y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:37 PM
12

Can't believe that all this time, I thought that dating was to see if we liked one another and had similar values and interests, and develop an emotional connection...nope - apparently we're just sex vending machines where men are putting in their niceness coins.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 07:46 AM
16

This sounds like we dated the same guy. :( Mine was also a sore loser and a smug winner at board games, and because I do martial arts, was weirdly obsessive about arm wrestling and made this huge thing about how he could beat me even though I did all that work (ignoring that he was over a foot taller than me) It just feels like they gain joy not just from the winning, which sure - okay - but from trying to humiliate you in the process.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:12 AM
6

I hear you on this and I'm sorry you've had to put up with this shit. As a recovering bulimic, EDs are so tough on you physically and mentally. I legit had a guy I was seeing disbelieve me when I told him about being bulimic "because I wasn't that thin so I must be exaggerating". Oddly enough...that didn't help!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:19 PM
47

Also, the salt in the wound of saying he fucked someone else because they reminded him of a younger version of her. Jfc, the audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:08 PM
3

Just found out my best friend's husband has been cheating on her for months during a fucking pandemic. Jfc, seriously - the bar is in hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 07:40 PM
8

Oh god, this is familiar. Guy I dated, I remember being super impressed that when I went to his for the first time, it was really clean and tidy... ...because his mom and his sister came round and did it for him... He was 30. Jfc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 08:52 AM
63

Your post made me laugh because last guy I dated was all about how outdoorsy he was despite being a gamer. Invited him to help with getting my garden ready for spring since gardening is one of my hobbies. He didn't bring suitable shoes, didn't want to get dirt on his hands and after digging up the roots of a single rose bush, he was done for the day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 09:38 AM
239

Can confirm. Went from dating the hot, but vain asshole to dating the "nice" sweet guy I hadn't given a chance previously...who turned out to be a misogynistic incel who I found out was posting shit online about how women "could be trained".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 11:54 PM
14

I don't know! I started to wonder whether they really are so oblivious that they honestly think it is? Spent a weekend with my now ex where I got a horrendous migraine, was dizzy and in pain to the point of nearly throwing up and basically had to go back to bed for most of the day. He brought me water and painkillers but then just sat in the apartment playing computer games until the evening when I was feeling okay to get out of bed and he asked whether I could drive to the store cos he'd not go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 08:27 AM
1

I've always found it a bit creepy! I don't know what their intentions behind it are but it always comes across a bit like "I could really hurt you if I wanted to."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:29 AM
2

Chronic lateness annoys me so bad though. The amount of times I found myself sat at a cafe with our friends having to make excuses for him not having turned up yet, or I'd have got ready for him to pick me up and then just be hanging around in my dress and heels, finding ways to waste time because I'd no idea if he was on the way yet or not. Ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:15 AM
1

So, how I got over a guy I was still pining for despite his horrible treatment of me was by writing a letter to myself about the things he'd done and said and how much better I deserved that I could read when I was having a doubting moment. Without fail, it always brought me back to reality from my romanticised version of what he'd actually been like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:33 PM
3

Seconding this. If you're going into a first date with zero fear of walking away and being alone, then you can actually step back and assess if it was any good. I broke up with a guy I'd been with for 5 years last year and honestly - the thing we broke up over was something I'd clocked on our first date and my friends convinced me to give him a chance. If I'd walked away then, I'd have saved myself the heartache! For me, another golden rule is that if I'm feeling lonely - I don't date. It's like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:26 AM
2

I felt like this too, so huge sympathy. Ended things with a guy just before valentines too and it's been pretty rough. I think guarding your boundaries and keeping an eye on them is never a bad thing, but here's the thing with dating someone who never makes plans - - it shouldn't be on you every time to make sure you guys actually DO something. If when you're doing the plans you go out and have activities to do - it's not like he doesn't know what sort of thing you enjoy. You can be crystal clea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 11:11 AM
6

I've had this happen too! A guy I'd been dating for nearly a year got upset at me because I got him a cute gift - nothing big. He was really into cooking so because he'd been talking about it, I went and found a specific seasoning that he'd been wanting. Nothing expensive or extravagant. He threw a little tantrum over how it wasn't fair because it felt like I expected the same from him and it was too much pressure. A thank you was all that was needed to make that a nice moment, but he used it to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 10:50 AM
18

Nope. I've tried this after meeting a guy who treated me wonderfully, was funny and sweet and emotionally intelligent and I decided to give it a chance...but the spark of attraction was never there and it never changed. I loved spending time with him, and we had some really nice times together...but I just didn't ever feel that physical attraction. And the fact that he did made it incredibly uncomfortable for me that I didn't feel the same passion and excitement about him. Honestly, I started to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/21 10:56 PM
112

What is always so difficult to understand for these guys that there's a world of difference between finding other women attractive and openly liking/following nude models on your public social media?It's not like these men don't realise that's visible to their partners and all their mutuals. We all get the updates about what our friends have liked, so they know they're basically broadcasting it, they just don't give a shit that getting another notification of "your boyfriend is thirst-commenting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:15 PM
7

Yesssss to your last point, so much. Is a rule of mine that if I ever start crafting a relationship advice post about a guy, I should just delete it and leave. You shouldn't have to ask total strangers how the person you should be closest to feels about you, and if you do - then something isn't right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:13 PM
13

This is just a lack of maturity though. Like, I just don't want to date a guy with the humour of a high schooler. I've dated a guy who would quote memes constantly and respond to everything with dumb gifs and like...that's fine in the right moment - my friends and me send each other dumb silly stuff too - but not all the time. I don't want to be dressed up and out to dinner with a guy who's talking about stonks and doggos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:01 PM
38

Oh yeah, 100%. When I brought it up, he got angry at me for having used the word "angry" when he apparently was "just frustrated". Like, you're having a shouty rant about it where you're slamming doors and throwing things around the kitchen. This behaviour being "just frustrated" isn't the golden defence you think it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 11:02 AM
19

Though also if he has his own place but doesn't look after it. I've dated two guys now who owned their own places - but they still had the ugly second hand furniture from when they moved in, had never painted a wall or fixed anything. When you see how someone treats the most expensive thing they own, it's a pretty good indicator of what they'll be like about the other things in their life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 10:59 AM
286

Guys who lose their temper over pointless shit. I always used to just wave this one off as "oh, well we all get annoyed at stuff" but god, it's just so stressful to live your life with a partner who might explode into a rage about someone's parking or there not being any milk left or the toilet being blocked. Like, it's not that important. You can just deal with that shit calmly without flying off the handle at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 11:26 PM
25

God, this. I am a gamer & I used to work in the industry too. Every gamer guy I've dated has acted like I'm some sort of otherworldly miracle for also enjoying games and it's initially always been nice to have something to share with them. Except, it so often then turns out that its literally their sole, life consuming hobby. . One guy would be on call gaming with his friends literally from the moment he got up to when he went to sleep. Even when we watched movies together, he'd be playing phone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 09:02 PM
9

"This unbridled anger just manifests, and shows up outside the game" So much this. I've dated gamer guys who are sweet and lovely but then have this switch flip and they are rage-filled & vitriol-spewing. I'm a gamer too and I used to avoid asking my ex to join me and my friends because he'd just turn into this stressy, ragey guy, insulting our opponents and picking fights with strangers over nothing, and it just sucked the fun out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:47 PM
355

God this is familiar. I dated a guy who was a big gamer but overall, he was a charming guy, good looking, looked after himself, etc. But yeah. This was our life together after I moved in. He'd just vanish off to his computer room and I'd see him when he came to bed. At the weekends, we'd maybe go out in the morning but again, the minute we got home, off he'd vanish and I just felt so lonely in my own home. I ended up filling my life with a million hobbies, making our apartment look nice and fill…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:30 PM
35

Ugh, yes. Having to say "oh, he doesn't eat xyz and he needs his food in this way" like you're describing a kid to a babysitter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:34 AM
44

God, this. I remember dating a guy a while back where with every question my mom asked me about him, I just felt more and more embarrassed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 08:33 AM
16

100%. It doesn't have to be awful. There doesn't have to be a defining moment or action. It can just not be working for you and that's okay. I just broke up with a guy who wasn't unkind or cruel but just didn't have his shit together and wasn't in a place for a relationship. And it wasn't awful 24/7 at all, he was sweet and kind for the majority of the time but I didn't want to be in a relationship with someone who hadn't even started on the work they needed to do to be ready for one. And when I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:52 PM
5

100% this. Why would anyone who actually likes and respects you want you to not be visibly happy?! I studied film theory and remember an ex who would tell all about the random facts he knew about a movie while we were watching it but as soon as I started talking about this thing that was my passion - he'd tell me I was ruining it and should shut up...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:21 AM
13

This. And the amount of people I've had say "oh, well don't just wait around for him, you should keep yourself busy with your hobbies!" Like...I have hobbies, thanks. I'd also like a boyfriend who gives enough of a shit about me to spend all of 30 seconds on a message.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:16 AM
1

Half the time, he was lovely, and then suddenly he would just pick petty fights out of nowhere over literally nothing. Like, it could be over a particular word I used in a message. Forgave it initially because it wasn't over anything serious, and then he did the same thing again a few hours before I had a really important meeting. He ended up resurfacing to apologise the day after (having totally ignored my very upset messages for 24hrs), not about having been unreasonable but because he'd forgo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/21 12:13 AM
1

100%. If you're posting asking what to do, you're normally just looking for justification to do what you know you should do already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 11:57 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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