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jayjb25 Archive

View 2 posts and 25 comments by jayjb25 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

jayjb25/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:41 PM
7

jayjb25/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 02:59 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Exactly, it can be biased toward validating but if you press it, it will provide a less favorable perspective
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 03:45 PM
3

I've dated from time to time but have focused mostly on myself and parenting. I have 4 kids, my youngest 2 still at home with me 50%. That's a decent book but I like even more Models and the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck by Mark Manson. The most important book I'm reading over and over is the The Power of Now. Teaching me how to be present and content in the moment instead of always looking backwards and forwards. A very heavy read so requires many repeats plus meditation to go with it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 11:38 AM
5

Hang in there. You can turn things around with faith, patience and consistent positive action. For me what's helped is exercise, meditation, books, doubling down on work. I'm at 3 yrs and it's been so hard but also a period of incredible personal growth. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself - something you control 100%!
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 02:50 AM
2

You didn't mention anything about your relationship, only finances. Assuming there's a relationship to salvage, put everything on the table and have a mature "open book' review of your finances. Everything in and out is exposed and you decide together on a budget and financial plan. It's painful as hell to do but essential in any marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 12:57 PM
1

I am equally accountable. That really has nothing to do with the point that was made.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 10:26 PM
3

3 years out and similar to you, though I doubled down on work due to the immense financial pressure I was feeling as a parent of 4. That paid off but not dating much for the past 3 years has caught up with me. Suddenly feel like I'm missing something really important. My advice would be to use the pain of divorce to be better, stronger, fitter, more mindful, but don't ignore the need for new relationships too as I have. Someone here recommended this book to me and it's been super helpful as I ge…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:02 AM
2

"Nobody is coming to save me" has become my life motto post divorce. I'm working on extreme ownership in everything, work, parenting, fitness, relationships. Hard af and still have a long way to go but it feels good.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 02:55 AM
1

You too and you may have a point. Not controlled but also not free. Just went out to dinner with kids (and not her) here in CR and the energy was completely different, so much better.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 01:55 AM
2

3 years + 5yrs of absolute shit marriage before that. Married 18 yrs total. I am very close with my kids but when she's around they go into protective mode and blame me whenever there is tension.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:24 PM
8

Good for you, i wouldn't overthink it. I took 3 of my 4 kids to Costa Rica for the holidays and invited my ex so they could have time with her too. Her presence is good for them but very bad for me and for my time with the kids here. I badly misjudged how this woild go and her presence makes me frustrated and lonely even though I have no romantic feelings for her whatsoever. The phrase 'no good deed goes unpunished' seems fitting
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:15 AM
1

Lol. I already speak Spanish and actually get alot of Latino interest on Bumble. The quality is low though here in the Midwest
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 03:06 PM
1

Good idea though I need a long break from Bumble. Plan to focus on IRL for coming months. I am taking the advice here to just starting talking up reasonably attractive women everywhere I see them. This is what I need to do to develop the muscles I've never had. Before marriage it was easy to passively meet women simply due to my looks and career. While I'm in great shape the looks simple dont work anymore at 57.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 02:57 PM
1

Lol. Cracking me up. Thanks for the laughs 😃
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 02:43 PM
1

Great steer, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 01:04 PM
2

Fair question. Most women my age look like grannies but there are exceptions and some remarkably fit and hot woman even older than me. But you're right, I should be looking younger just not under 40 in my case. For someone very smart and successful I'm incredibly dumb on this subject. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:26 PM
2

Bumble, 40 to 60 but mostly focused on 48 to 57
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 05:01 PM
1

My city is around 500k metro, far left politically which is a problem because I'm more conservative. When I travel to larger cities I usually match on Bumble with much more suitable women than I can find here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:41 PM
2

This is incredibly helpful advice. Thank you. I am quite introverted when it comes to meeting people but also very open when im 1:1. Women friends always tell me I'm an incredible catch but I'm basically retarded when it comes to approaching women IRL
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:34 PM
2

What do you mean by 'not much time left'? Death? Im only 57! 🤣 and what sort of 'professionals'?
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:32 PM
1

Inner peace, work ethic, frugality, perseverance, sense of adventure
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 09:02 PM
10

Well said. Also, friends and therapists are often enablers of "walk away" rather than giving the hard truths many wives need to hear about their roles and accountabilities. Men rarely have these enablers, women have them in abundance. My ex was talking to everyone under the sun about divorce before she brought it up with me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 07:30 PM
2

Suggestions: 1. learn to surrender, be present and accept where you are with no self judgements. Power of Now is a good book to help with this 2. make a plan of what you will do that makes you feel happy and productive over next few days (for me it's exercise) 3. see this as a gift to help you do 1., because trust me 1. is a life changer and most of us need considerable pain to go on that journey. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/25 06:47 PM
1

Great advice, but what's behind the single moms comment. Wouldn't that dramatically limit the dating pool?
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:32 AM
2

In marriage counseling when my ex was unable to shift from relentless venting and complaining to actually working on our marriage. Very much for the best I'm not with her, but equally hard to find a companion at age 57 notwithstanding that I am in great shape and have an equally great career. Have found that most attractive women my age want empty nesters. I'm still actively parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 08:38 PM
1

I am 3 years out from divorce, 2 kids in college 2 still at home and with me 50%. Dated a bit early on but have been mostly immersed in work, parenting and fitness. Now suddenly experiencing profoundly painful loneliness. Not because I miss my ex but because I see no path to meeting a future partner. I'm 57 but extremely fit with a very successful career. I have no close local friends and the dating pool in my mid sized city is virtually non existent. Don't have the time to date long distance. I…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 08:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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