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jaymo54 Archive

View 6 posts and 68 comments by jaymo54 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

A partner. I had it bad for 13 years. I thought every marriage was what I had. No sex, bickering, pulling in different directions, putting the kids first etc. but every once in a while I would be out with friends the the wife or girlfriend laughed. She actually laughed and smiled and seemed to enjoy herself. She dressed like a feminine woman. Not sloppy, not always jeans and tennis shoes. Heels, makeup, jewelry, sense of humor, FUN. I remember thinking, I know women like this are rare. And if I …
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 10:03 PM
3

To each their own. My problem wasn’t with marriage, it was the person I married
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 09:44 PM
36

Sometimes during sex I find myself thinking about my ex wife. But that’s just because my new wife is really hot and I don’t want to finish too quickly
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 04:34 PM
4

I’m from Illinois, my alimony terminates at year 7 or if she cohabitates with another adult. She doesn’t have to move to a new place. If another person moves in, you’re off the hook but you’ll need a Private investigator to prove it. The standard move is to claim “they were just staying with me a little bit” Alimony is the highest scam. I was making 45k a year and was married 13 years. Had to pay 270 a month in alimony. Such an insignificant amount but that on top of the 650 child support. Basic…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 04:08 AM
1

Alimony goes away if she remarry or cohabitate (check local law) so if there’s a chance this could happen inside of 9 years, don’t make a deal
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 01:25 AM
1

My ex signed a quitclaim to me and I quickly learned that you still have to refinance a new loan anyway. The quitclaim just absolves the other person from the current loan, but a new loan is required. May be different now but that’s how it was in 2016 in Illinois
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 05:55 PM
3

I heard a pretty powerful quote on the joe Rogan podcast. “A man has two lives, and the second one begins when he realizes he only has one” If you’re unhappy, fix it. You know what you need to do. You’ve always known. But you’re doing everything you can to avoid pain, conflict, discomfort. But the real changes, the real results ALWAYS happen when it’s uncomfortable. Drill sergeants break down men to absolutely nothing before they build them back up and into soldiers. If you want to build your bi…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 02:49 AM
3

You’ll never understand how strong you are until you don’t have a choice. It’s human nature to avoid danger. Danger comes in many forms. Physical; emotional; financial. But I know with certainty that if she left you, and you didn’t have a say in the matter, you would survive. It wouldn’t be pretty. It wouldn’t be ideal. But you would wake up each day and once the anger passed, the rebuilding begins. It’s ok to have a chip on your shoulder. To want to prove people wrong. Let that fuel you, but no…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 11:48 AM
21

More sex and less fighting about money. Current marriage: my wife has a sex drive equal or greater than mine, and we have seperate money. In 7 years we’ve bickered maybe a dozen times and it felt mild compared to my past. Not one actual fight.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 04:08 PM
9

It’s a double tactic. Break you financially and to keep your actual time with them limited because of games, practices etc. mine did this and I had to put my foot down a few times. My parenting plan says both must be in agreement or the time and financial responsibility is the proposing parents.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 06:59 PM
7

THIS. take a lower paying job and strategize for 3-6 months. Squirrel away money, and anything else you can. It’ll save you literally tens of thousands of dollars. If I could do it all over again, I would have started saving money in cash. Pull out an extra 20 when you check out. Buy gift cards and save them. You’re going to lose way over half of your possessions in the end so take a lesser paying job, and sell stuff to survive and make up the difference. She’s going to come after child support,…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 03:44 PM
3

TRT (testosterone replacement therapy). I take doctor prescribed testosterone once a week (shot) and feel like I’m 19 again. It’s a game changer
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 09:55 PM
11

4-5 years in and things change like a switch was flipped. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Go to the gym, get on testosterone, take the trip, buy the tool or gun that you wanted but couldn’t (these are things I did). Find a way. It takes effort to be miserable. And NOTHING gets an ex more miserable than you being happy. Genuine happiness. Not taking a selfie with a hot date and posted online knowing she’s looking. real happiness is obvious, especially to people rooting against you
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 04:31 PM
33

I got remarried to my absolute best friend 4 years after my divorce. We’ve remodeled our house together, traveled all over the country (this is new to me). We’re on the same page on the major topics (sex, money, priorities etc) and the things that we disagree on aren’t big and definitely not worth fighting over. My ex was very confrontational and Im not. I avoid confrontation. My new wife is the same way. Having a positive energy and an overall happy person to share your life with COMPLETELY cha…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 04:20 PM
1

I have 2 daughters (12&17). The 17yo and I had a rough patch for a couple years. Ex is HC and my daughter started drinking the koolaid. One thing I’ve always been is consistent in praise, rules and punishment. They know what they’re going to get with me. It hasn’t always worked but it works more than it doesn’t. Also I try to send them individual texts instead of a group message to both at once. I just try to make them feel like individuals and special. They come to the garage and talk to me if …
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 08:58 PM
1

Forhims.com if you don’t want to see a doctor in person. Otherwise it’s easy just to go to a regular doctor and get prescribed. Most insurance covers it too.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 08:42 PM
2

Something my dad told me when I was going through mine is “it’s going to take 5 years”. I thought he was exaggerating but it was literally 5 years and then like a switch things got better. I’m a truck driver in the Midwest. So my 45k income is considerably less, but losing 40% of your income hurts no matter how much you make. I was 35 when mine started and I’m 41 now. and in the last year my life has been 120% better financially and n every other way than it was pre-divorce. I’m still paying chi…
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/21 02:08 AM
1

https://en.lovebox.love/collections/all/products/lovebox-yes-i-do
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 06:51 PM
1

But custody in general is designed to pit the parents against each other. “I’m entitled to half so I will fight to the death for that”. Should that be the way that it is, of course. But it isn’t. And if my ex and I were together I would be working full time, and I would only see the kids in the early evening after work until they went to bed. As the kids get older and they become teenagers and have their own social lives, your time is even less. I’m their father, not their friend. I knew this wh…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 10:13 AM
4

It just baffles me that Brad Pitt and his TEAM of lawyers can’t get it done. I know California is a communist state on a lot of political topics. Lifetime alimony etc is appalling. But any one of his lawyers is going to be better and more talented and more expensive than I could even begin to fathom hiring myself. So why would I try to fight for 50/50. It’s just pissing what little money I have left away so when I actually do have my kids we can order a pizza. $500 is a life decision to me. To a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/21 09:39 AM
3

Present, no. But the night my divorce was final I smoked a cigar a good friend ad given me years ago. I was saving it for a celebration for when I landed a good job or something. That day I was making 40k a year. Paying 925 a month in child support. Broke from rebuilding a new life, legal fees, court and everything else. I had to sell my truck and buy my brother VW Jetta. I was a shell of what I saw myself as. But I was happy. I was content. I had hope. Everything I had built and accomplished in…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 10:42 AM
3

That’s exactly why I haven’t gone after this. Lawyers are expensive and I worry about losing my daughters respect in this fight. I have gotten used to the taste of this shit sandwich but sometimes I get mad that I still have to eat it. I know in time the kids will see things for the way they are but I still want things to be right for me for once
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 11:26 AM
3

I’m in Illinois, our divorce was bitter and she tried to alienate my kids from me. One of them was successful for 2 years but she’s back now. I only have EOW and want 50/50 but she won’t do it willingly. We’re supposed to share financial details for child support. I always have and she never has. When we divorced 6 years ago she was unemployed so they imputed her income at min wage (full time). Since that time she’s gotten 3 different jobs (never reported it to me to adjust CS). Last year she ma…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 10:30 AM
3

If it were me and I knew what I know now. I would spend 6 months slowly setting aside cash, moving important things to friends and families house and be prepared to the point that when you say you’re done, she could set the house on fire and you’d be fine. Every time you go to the grocery store, buy a gift card. Little stuff adds up and the little stuff will cost you a fortune in legal fees. If it appears you’re just walking away, there’s less to fight about. Also make sure you have documentatio…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/21 01:39 PM
8

Married/divorced/remarried. First marriage was when I was 22. We made it 13 years. We were different people from different upbringings. But we were young and stubborn and forced it. When the sex was less and less we had a kid to fix it. We didn’t consciously do it for those reasons but in hindsight it’s pretty clear. That made us a family and “happy” for a couple years. Things got hard, we needed something. Try for kid number 2. That took 18 months for whatever reason and all of our problems in …
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/21 01:06 AM
2

My current marriage is number two for both of us. I don’t know you or your situation but I would run for the hills if there was ANYTHING you couldn’t talk with her about. I learned so much in the failure of my first marriage that I now know communication is priceless. I don’t care if it’s about trivial stuff. Talk. Going on a car ride, talk. Go for a walk around the block. Talk. There is literally nothing I could surprise my wife with because I learned my lesson. I would stay quiet on something …
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/21 05:20 PM
2

Illinois, but I’ve thought about podcasting 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/21 03:16 AM
27

I’m so much happier now. I went from being married for 14 years and jumping through hoops for my pat on the head (sex) and all the attitude and drama that comes with being with something that’s negative and borderline narcissistic. Everything was a slight at her expense, everyone was talking about her or not talking to her enough. It was literally hiding at work because I didn’t want to come home. I thought all wives were like that. I thought every sit com was based on reality. Mom knows best, d…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/21 12:01 AM
3

It’ll cost you alimony but if you’re truly unhappy, it’s a very small price to pay
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/20 02:48 AM
7

You’re literally in the worst time of the divorce. It gets better. I’ve been divorced 5 years now and am remarried. There are people that make decisions to impress or get back at others. And it’ll get under your skin but try to ignore it. Don’t get caught up in doing it yourself because it’s just living in the past. My ex is still doing and saying stuff to get me and she’s wasted 5 years of her life putting effort and energy into hurting or getting the attention of someone from a past relationsh…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/20 07:13 PM
2

How old are you, how long have you been divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/20 06:56 PM
3

I’m not married to her anymore. It’s been 5 years and I’m remarried. I couldn’t be happier in all aspects of my life
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/20 11:28 AM
1

Alimony
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/20 09:07 PM
4

Get it in writing. Start discussing it via email and bait her into saying something threatening. Stay calm. Fight for 50/50 no matter what. You’ll pay her either way. I didn’t get 50/50 and got screwed. I made 40k a year and she got 925 a month from me. Almost 40% of my net. They don’t care about overtime either because I was getting a bunch too. I thought they went off your hourly wage. I was last years W2 gross earnings If you quit your job now it would look suspicious. Your best bet is to fig…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/20 02:23 AM
4

How close are you to being married 10 years? In Illinois that’s the dividing line for being awarded alimony. Set cash aside and make sure you’re set up. She’s gonna come after the money first and then withhold the kids
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/20 02:06 AM
1

Where are you located?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/20 11:35 PM
1

Could you provide a link? I’m not finding it via google
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/20 02:05 PM
2

Yep. 15 year old daughter suddenly hates me and asks not to come to my house for visitation. I used to say no, you need to come. But she was very recluse and I was worried I was doing even more damage by forcing her. It sucks
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/20 09:05 PM
1

You too!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 02:37 PM
1

You too!
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 02:37 PM
6

I’ve been divorced 4 years. Every once in a while I have a flare up but I read stories here that bring back memories. I want to offer hope to anyone just now going through it
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/20 04:44 AM
4

It gets better. You won’t get MORE time with your kids, but the time you get will be more quality. And use the “free” time to better yourself. Do the things that you never have time for as a father. You have a built in baby sitter that most people have to wait until they’re empty nesters to enjoy. I’m almost 5 years in. I hate my ex wife. She’s used the kids as leverage and a weapon since 12 hours into the separation. It hurt a lot to be told when I can and can’t have my own children. But as tim…
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/20 03:52 PM
2

Going through it too. 14yo daughter doesn’t want anything to do with me
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/19 10:45 AM
10

Hang in there. About 2 months before the end end, my then wife took the kids and dog on vacation with her parents. Against my wishes, it was a big fuck you and a power move. I had to work, I couldn’t get time off, we couldn’t afford it. She didn’t care and wanted to prove a point. Fine. First night was Friday night. I was fine. I played Xbox, watched tv, rubbed one out and went to sleep. Saturday was hard. I woke up in an empty bed, in a quiet house, and I had all the time and freedoms to do wha…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/19 02:13 AM
1

Ok awesome, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 05:25 PM
1

All my payments go through the dispursment unit, but I’ve never registered so to speak
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/19 05:21 PM
1

the agreed order to share financial info
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/19 12:29 PM
1

It doesn’t really say, but since it says notify, to me that implies when the change occurs
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 11:43 PM
1

That is a wet dream. I was making 19 an hour and was paying her 925 a month. I’m going broke just paying support, not to mention half of all medical expenses, health insurance and half extra curricular activities and expenses. It’s her game. Just trying to cost me as much money as often as possible
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 08:58 PM
7

It’s a court order just like a parenting plan. If not either party is in contempt. In my situation she is very high conflict and threatens me with court all the time. I have nothing to hide and always keep things above board, so if I were to say I got a raise and refuse to divulge how much it would almost certainly cause conflict and end up in court. Or at the end of the year when I have to give her a copy of my tax return (also court ordered) she would see the increase in gross pay. I’m in Illi…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 08:31 PM
4

0ctober 2017 we both signed an amendment to our dissolution that if either parties financial situation changed the other would be notified. She was at the time purposely unemployed. So she was imputed at 8.25 an hour for 40 hours a week. Since then she got a job as a bank teller. I would guess she makes 12-13 an hour but only works part time. So I’m guessing when we go back, her current wage will be imputed at 40 hours a week and my payment actually go down. Not to mention the slap on the wrist …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/19 08:19 PM
2

This is fucking hilarious. I still have 8 years to go, but as time is ticking down, the crazier she gets
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/19 10:41 AM
1

I’m in Illinois but this is all pretty standard. If she’s in contempt and you have the proof, you don’t need a lawyer. Now if she starts addressing other stuff and trying to change the parenting plan, then I’d lawyer up. It sounds like a high conflict price of shit that’s bluffing
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 02:38 PM
2

Exactly. Court papers get my attention way more than her lawyer. Step on her neck
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 02:36 PM
2

You don’t need a lawyer for her to show cause of being in contempt. Go to the courthouse and get a court date
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 02:32 PM
3

Let her spend her money on a lawyer. She’s just threatening. As long as you aren’t putting the kids in a dangerous place or with questionable people, then don’t worry about it. If the caregiver was a sex offender or had drugs in the house, then it’s different. You have a court order and a parenting plan? Then abide by it. Fuck her and her opinion. If she wants to get stupid and spend her money, let her. It’ll all come back to what’s in black and white
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/19 10:40 AM
1

Following!
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/19 12:48 AM
1

Thank you so much!
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/19 03:49 PM
1

What do you mean?
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/19 03:34 PM
1

So, you wanted counseling and they didn’t and as a result you don’t have a relationship with either of them? I don’t understand why an adult would intentionally hurt their child and try and damage their relationship with their mother or father. It’s no secret that I don’t like my ex. But she’s still their mother
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 12:17 PM
1

I’ve asked for 50/50 so I can have more time with her and more time for counseling and other things and it was turned down. And I can’t afford an attorney and a GAL
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 11:56 AM
2

A little back story. My ex is very high conflict and toxic. She depends on state food money and child support. So she is constantly undermining me and trying to be the child’s friend. Initially she (ex) wanted to look into counseling. I agreed but had a caveat that we see if we can find one that’s affordable. My ex is not financially responsible and I’m broke due to living expenses and cs. Then that was the last I heard of it. It’s slowly gotten worse over the last six months and I asked the ex …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/19 11:55 AM
6

Brother, if you’re that unhappy, leave. My ex was THE SAME EXACT WAY. to a T. There are insecure people that bitch moan and complain because they have a low self esteem. They don’t have the patience to wait for praise on something good they did or accomplished. So they pull others down to make themselves shine. It’s common. These people are narcissists. They will manipulate any conversation to make them seem innocent. They will distance themselves from any major decision making so that if the pl…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/18 03:07 PM
3

Yep, in my case they already get whatever they want at the other house. So I’m not about to cave and let them get their way here too. If she only gets rules, discipline and structure every other weekend, then that’s more than she’d get if I let her go. In my case, I know girls EVENTUALLY gravitate to the father. But I also know kids gravitate to the most consistent, easy place to live. If I was bad mouthing the mom and a bunch of drama, nobody wants to be around that negativity. I’m on a mission…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/18 07:58 PM
2

I’m in the same exact boat. My oldest daughter is 13 and was 11 when we divorced. Now she’s on team mom and everything about me and my house is garbage unless we are shopping or going on a trip. It makes me want to pull back and not give her anything until she comes for the right reasons. I’m beyond frustrated but I also know it’s just a phase.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/18 06:10 PM
2

I would think so. She’s an adult in your household.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/18 06:12 PM
2

Leave! It’s worth it. It will push you, test you, challenge you. The divorce can be overwhelming but people do it every day. I was married 13 years in a loveless sexless marriage. Sex once in the last 14 months we were together and 1-2 times a month in “good times” Leave. I found my perfect woman, have intimacy, love and someone who listens to me. Get 50/50 custody no matter what. Pay the alimony and get on with your life and be happy It’s out there but you just have to take it
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/18 10:13 AM
2

I didn’t read anything past the first two sentences but I don’t have to. I know where you’re at. I was there. I was worried that my actions during the separation leading up to the divorce would effect the judges opinion of me and it would influence what I was awarded, what it would cost me and my time with the kids. I waited to divide property until the courts decided and I got hosed. I’m a nice guy and she knew it and used it against me. Lawyers are $250 an hour and the last thing you want to d…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/18 03:02 AM
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