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jgoodstein Archive

View 0 posts and 123 comments by jgoodstein on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Opioid Abuse (multiple times) and all of the baggage it drags along with it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 03:59 PM
2

Are you me. Cause almost the same but more in legal for me and for her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 11:39 AM
6

but you got something for it, hopefully of equal value. Make sure it gets put in her name and not yours. Thats a great solution for you! congrats on that win, and keep fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 02:49 PM
6

My mediator negotiated a better deal for my ex that she didn’t accept, and turns out was a way better offer than what the judge gave her at trial. I still feel like mediation is a sham.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 01:08 PM
1

thats exactly what a prenup would have prevented. However that ship sailed. Best is to put forth a settlement offer heaver then you want and then let her negioate you back to fair. Remind everyone the longer you draw this out the more money gets spent and the less there is to split up. so take a guarantee now or run out, risk less later in trial.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 08:31 PM
2

It’s fine to call it quits. 33 years is a long time and a great success. Congrats on that. The only thing I’ve done for 33 years is stay alive. You can be proud of that. Just be aware that even though you say money is fine, 33 is a long term marriage and you or her could be liable for lifetime alimony in many states. Or maybe you both work, or maybe she makes more. But it may not be as easy as “money should be OK”. Go consult a lawyer. Then consult her. You’ve been together 33 years. Time to sit…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 11:53 AM
1

Depends on your state. There are lots of variables, but usually average of last 3 years - cost of living (core items, debts, etc. not vacations and stuff)
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 05:57 PM
3

I more mean that when it’s time for you to do so, she has no ground to stand on to complain or argue. Not rushing you to do so at all. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 01:08 PM
5

Occupy your time with new hobbies, exercise, therapy, and work. The more you are focused on that stuff the less time you have for her. she is living in your head rent free, she doesn’t get to do that to you any more. She lost that right. You shouldn’t have to “pay” for that. As Taylor swift says “we are never ever getting back together”. 😂 So make a conscious effort to invest in you. Thoughts will creep in, that’s ok, it’s how you react that lets you move on. Karma will get her, you even alluded…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 10:50 AM
3

Just remember whats good for her is good for you so you are free to introduce "friends" whenever you ar ready to do so. You aren't in a relationship anymore, its a business transaction. shes a business customer/client. be professional put on whatever face you need, and hold your ground. do not compromise yourself or your boundaries. Create the relationship you want with your boys, you can control that and nothing else. FOCUS, my friend, time cures all ills and this will get easier and better. th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/24 03:44 PM
2

There is a lot to prove that she did it on purpose. The statement is true as it is in Australia. Tell your lawyer. As for payback, Just go wedge it in a seat on a city bus. Nothing she uses that data for would be able to be submitted in a court of law.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 03:22 AM
4

This holds up in US.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:42 AM
6

DO NOT PAY MORE, it will show that you can and will be a precedence. also your deal is just. Accept it, remember only talk to her about the immediate care of your kids, no money, no nothing. if she argues, tell her to see the rulings/agreements.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 07:47 PM
10

Relationship is over. It’s a business transaction, treat it as so.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 02:15 PM
2

you will soon learn and come to peace with the fact that there is no amount of money you won't pay to have her out of your life. look at it that way. Also lawyer up, she won't get everything and you can always fill a change especially when it comes to employment and your health.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 06:11 PM
1

It will and it will show she has the ability to work. Plenty of jobs that accommodate her disabilities.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:32 PM
5

Same with mine. So there are different types of alimony. Like rehabilitating you pay for a while and pay for training into the work force. There is also short term marriage you are more likely to a mid term is my guess so you may get hit with 50% for up to 10 years. Obviously consult your lawyer. And have a work evaluation ordered for her. You gonna have to pay, but it can be fair / balanced.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:04 AM
5

What state. It’s usually 50% for half the term of marriage as a guideline it can go up or down depending on 8,000 factors. Need location
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 11:38 PM
3

Occupy your time with whatever you can, learn new crafts, join Orange theory fitness, Learn how to wrench on cars, renovate your home, Join a sports club, take up learning how to tie fly fishing lures. Just do anything to occupy your headspace, the pain is big, but it gets easier and time heals all wounds. Make yourself better and learn from your past mistakes and build on your Successes ( you have some I promise). You got this Bro.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 03:02 PM
1

That’s an uphill battle and you have to weigh the amount you’ll pay a lawyer to fight that and the chance of success vs. paying the 50% of it. But overall I agree it’s just a risk you have to figure out. I had some debts from ex that it was easier to take and pay off then fight. She drug it out so long that it would have cost me 2-3x to fight it without a 100% chance of success
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 03:54 PM
2

Yeah generally once you are married, unless there is a prenup, the debts are split 50/50. Also depends on the state and the loans, but most student loans are stuck with the original party. That being said they will have to add up all of their assets and then subtract their debts and then split that 50/50. What I've seen is usually school debt for a short term marriage is not split, but YMMV (your mileage may vary). He needs to get her off his cards, off his accounts, and lock it down ASAP. Again…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 02:44 PM
16

Well now you have 25k in credit card debt and another 25k in legal fees. So get a plan together, recognize that you’ve moved from a relationship to a business negotiation. We are all here for you, be smart. Do not let your emotions make decisions for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 12:05 PM
1

Not your problem any more. She doesn’t pay rent to be in your head. Let her go. Nothing g you can do now. You know ow she’s a POS. Therapy, hobbies, and focus on you brother. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 08:50 PM
3

Not your monkey, not your circus. Move on my friend
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 12:12 PM
1

get her off of any account she has access too. Change your pin codes, lawyer the F up and file immediately. it provides you with protection and a line in the sand for all sorts of things like running with the kids, shared accounts, property, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 01:21 PM
2

Move quickly, the faster the better. solve through discussion and mediation. the Judge has less creative solutions than agreements have. Focus on the parenting plan first, then debts and earnings, then who gets what, and alimony last, child support is a calculation so it's not really negotiable in my experience.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:09 PM
1

Sure what do you want to know? We talked and agreed to be civil and fair. then her family and friends started chirping in her ear. The next thing I know I'm being served and audited. To top it off she caused me of stuff that was easy enough to disprove, and then drug out the court stuff for 4...yes FOUR years. my bill alone was into the 6 figures and then she got the courts to make me pay for her lawyer that charged 2X mine even when I had to let mine go for not being able to maintain payments a…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:55 PM
1

omfortable enough financially that we’d make do. Standard of living would decline a bit but I’d survive. Not sure how she’d do. Besides therapy, lawyers, and two households, what are the major costs of divorce? So once the divorce is decided it's no longer emotional and becomes a business transaction. Do not give anything without getting something that is of equal importance( not cost) to you. Those are the major costs. I had no house, 2 kids, and legal fees were well into 6 figures. therapy was…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:40 PM
2

At this point, it's gonna be cheaper to keep her. sorry bud. so you have to decide if the payments you will have to make are worth it. I hate how much I pay, but I'd rather pay that than be with my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:24 PM
7

RIGHT!!!! why would you tell your "partner" this? this was shock value to let you know that the "separation" is just to make it easy and she's out. Sorry Man.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 04:54 PM
1

A depo is was required before trial, it protects you and helps find holes in the story. It is generally the attorney’s that ask questions. And they will take a list of them from you. Not only do you have to pay for your attorney you need to pay for a court reporter/stenographer person to legally document it all. As to your questions, not advised that you ask. Attorney will ask questions and set up “traps” for trial and further negotiations. Also you will be questioned too. Your attorney should c…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 11:51 AM
1

If your attorney filed with the courts then there should be an order, with a date to the opposing counsel. Then the responding documents should be available to the courts as well. I am able to log into the court system and see everything filed and submitted, ask your attorney how to access that system.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 11:45 AM
1

PRENUP, or a very serious conversation about expectations from her and from you and a discussion on where each of you will or won't compromise. THat will dictate next steps.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 08:56 PM
1

I’m still hoping they change it back. I hate that I pay her and I pay her taxes. But it’s more then just your net income. It’s her money, marriage length, her ability to earn, your ability to pay, and many other factors.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 10:05 AM
3

4 relationships you are dealing with: you and your ex, you and your child, her and your child, business side of things. Blowing up one effects the other. I PROMISE you, your kids will figure it out all by themselves. Just raise them the best you can. Theykll get there on their own, you don’t have to do anything
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 11:29 PM
2

My Ex asked for like 10K a month, legal fees, a car, and child support, and I was like I don't even make that much you are insane. The judge agreed. the judge said it was about her need and my ability to pay, Since I took all the debt and the vehicles my ability to pay was smaller and her need was ruled as smaller for a myriad of reasons. She got less than 1/3 of what she asked for. Here's the real kicker though. I offered her more in mediation and she refused at all 3 mediations that I went to.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 11:34 AM
3

Turn their phones off or disable location tracking. Also never agree to payments unless its in a contract or paid up front. I always assume my ex will not pay, no matter what she says. There is usually a time for her to request reimbursement for payments. In my divorce ruling, we have 30 days to to submit bills to be paid to each other in writing. In your scenario she’s wouldn’t be entitled to anything. With that said I track my kids phones (they are teens). I have actually looked where they wer…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 10:13 AM
2

TRD off road. Lifted and lots of add-ons best car I ever owned. Won’t ever buy another off-road vehicle that’s not a 4R
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 01:11 AM
6

If you really want to stick it to her you can give me your 4Runner. I love my 2018.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:25 AM
6

It’s not over yet. You get a high paying job again she can still drag you back to court. Just don’t let your guard down. Congrats
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/22 09:51 PM
13

He's demonstrating a balanced separation. In otherwords, he's being civil and knows it is important to your child, and is doing what he sees as the right thing for your child. ​ Take relief ithat he is separating your relationship and your relationship with your child. He is not interfering. He is not alienating you, he is complying with good guidelines to make this as calm as possible. DOn't read anything into your relationship. Its also engrained in men to do this, it will evolve.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 06:25 PM
2

i completely disagree with " Prenups will never be ironclad. You should also be asking yourself why you need a prenup. It's the man's version of a woman not taking his last name. You're entering into an agreement with one foot out the door already." What people need to understand is there are two marriages you enter into, the Emotional Mariage and the business/Government marriage. You reduce risk. You put fire alarms in your house but don't expect it to burn down. You get life insurance at 20yrs…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 04:20 PM
5

I couldn’t recommend this enough. You’ll pay a bunch for trial prep and court time. But time to stop playing.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 02:52 AM
1

But you have the same right to go to therapy to and talk to the therapist, if you find a good one they will figure it out. The first therapist I took my kids too figured it out and she was so mad that she tried to deny them access. I had to go to short matters hearing to get it over-ridden. The judge asks why and she says “ I don’t like that the therapist isn’t siding with me all the time”. Judge ruled in my favor.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 10:16 AM
5

My ex did the same. My kids were preteen at the time. They will figure it out. And when they do they will resent whatever parent poisoned the well. My older kid caught it right away, my younger one is realizing it now. I didn’t have to do anything, just let her crash and burn on her own. But the therapy helped. And the CPS investigation took it from 100% of the time to 5% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 03:27 PM
17

It’s called parental alienation and it takes many forms. It’s very hard to prove, but one option you may want to pursue is to confront her. If she doesn’t stop immediately tell her you will pursue legal action. Step one is to get the kids to therapy, step 2 is to file a complaint with child services for mental anguish and abuse, step 3 is to file a cease and desist, step 4 is to get her back to family court.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/22 03:15 PM
10

Lawyer up. In my state you can’t use the same lawyer. Only if your are mediating and as mentioned they are just there to prove that you agreed legally. Divorce is business, not emotions. Put aside emotions and memory. Everything you get is a fight. Everything you give up should be rewarded with you getting something in return. You don’t need to be an a-hole, but you don’t need to lay down and just give up.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 12:03 PM
2

It’s frowned upon by the irs but my judgment has us switch every year untill 18. Regardless of nights.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 04:26 PM
26

yeah I was browsing custody today, and if you are Pro dad there its almost as bad.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/22 05:12 PM
3

She's not a stepmom, She's a bonus mom. She needs to move the coaching and parenting to you. Don't let her "mom" them, she's there as your partner, not their mom. You are a full-time parent that gets breaks, and sometimes the breaks are missed. it will pan out and be easier as they get older. Also, it is your responsibility to say NO on occasion or your Ex will continue to take advantage of you. It's not a reflection of your love for your kids, its you taking a stand against someone who is tryin…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 02:07 PM
0

No, not till they are 18+. No value is added.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 11:20 PM
3

Not ever, not even for a billion dollars
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 07:51 PM
2

Like if it passes it would cancel lifetime orders from the past.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 03:20 AM
2

I wish it was backwards compatible
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/22 03:39 PM
3

WhT if they don’t want to date relatives?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 01:33 PM
1

This is the law. Half your age plus 7.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 01:31 PM
3

You don’t leave the owned house cause you could forfeit some or all rights to it. But in rental it’s different. Go ahead and sign the lease. Don’t hid or stash money, keep everything as normal as you can. File, file for 50/50 temporary. You should be just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/22 12:26 AM
3

I’d just pay it. If your income has gone up, so has your ability to pay and it takes very little to discover that. So unless you want your child support to go up 30%, I’d avoid it all together and you gonna save way more
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 03:40 AM
3

In Florida that’s a short term marriage max would be 50% of difference for up to 10 years. Most of the time by me it’s half the length (5 years) for about 30%. But YMMV
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 04:53 AM
3

You are titanium of course you don’t rust. Don’t let her devalue you. The world is opening for you to put you and your kids first, not having to fix anything but that. It’s gonna be a relief, it doesn’t feel that way but it is. We are all here for you.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 11:44 AM
2

Just remember currently they have ZERO value. You could make the case that since it’s a private company and that they are able to be reclaimed by the company. That the value is zero and not a shared asset. They have the ability to have massive value, but so does your Apple Watch. It’s ridiculous to split something that may be worth something in the future. How do you assign that a value? But if you want to avoid the price. The only value the company has given you and is required to give you is t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 02:41 AM
6

So i went through this in Florida. I can tell you how it worked out for me. The current Value is ZERO cause you can't buy them or sell them. cause you are a private company. They are only of value once you can sell them. Also, remember that the shares you got at $.10 a share are well $.10 a share. Id the new valuation of the company is $7 and you get new more shares the strike price is $7. So if you got two allotments the value is different for both allotments. Now once you can sell you still ha…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:34 PM
1

go to your own therapy. I thought couples therapy was a waste of time and money. Unlike other s experience my therapist saw my way more often and actually encouraged us to end it. She also said we should have a unmarry ceremony which I thought was hilarious and told her NO.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:01 PM
3

You will forfeit your social security money. Just an fyi. You bail. Give up citizenship, that money is gonna go straight to her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 04:23 PM
1

I think it’s be worth it. Especially if you explain to them that if you call me 4x a month to ask a quick question I have to bill you for 4 hours. If you call me once a month with all your issues, it’s 1 hour. While interviewing lawyers this was important to me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 03:35 AM
2

I loved it. I would write down all the questions and concerns and my lawyer would tell me all their updates they had and what was coming. I absolutely thought it was worth it. In hindsight I would have probably done it once a month to stretch my money a bit further. But that was a me problem. If I didn’t have to pay for her lawyer too, I would have done it weekly.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 10:56 AM
1

as others said some do some don't but every time they reach out to you via email or phone, heck some by text, you gonna get billed. When I did mine I scheduled 1 hour every other week to get updates and ask questions. at $400 an hour it wasn't a cheap endeavor but made my communications and bills predictable.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 06:26 PM
2

I provided 7 years of financial records. I also got requested for updated every 3-6 months for the 4 years it took to finalize and go to trial. Do NOT mess around.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 05:11 PM
1

Sure
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 12:55 PM
4

Please DM me I’m happy to walk you through this all. I went through this in Florida. You do need to lawyer up or have about 15 hours a day of research and process to learn.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 12:14 AM
5

Yeah, that’s not how court works my man, only on TV. She can say you are abusive and admitted it under duress. And voila there goes all your evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 08:08 PM
3

I agree but I’m my jurisdiction a judge hearing studies is hearsay. You would need a court approved affidavit from the author or testimony by the author/researcher. There would also need to be Voir dire portion so the court could establish the authors/researchers skill is competent. So her hearsay is useless! it’s worth questioning her about his time of gaming does she know? Do you? Do you record it or have logs? Ask her what games he plays? Do you have records of educational games you let him p…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 01:30 PM
2

All hearsay, don’t bring it up. You gain nothing. Unless you can get an order to have her drug tested, is that the hill you want to die on? Sex stuff is 1,000,000,000,000% a bad idea to bring up, puts you in a bad light.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 04:40 AM
1

what state are you in? In Florida wherever the child is going is where they will stay if disputed. Also, you can't move more than 50miles away and must stay in the same county without court and parties agreement. As others mentioned, your commute is not a consideration of the court at all.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 07:28 PM
3

You don’t have to do a lawyer for all of that. You can go to the child support services in the courthouse, they can tell you what the limits are and give you the forms or directions on how to request changes. Filing motions is not as hard as it seems. Then once filed you can request a short matters hearing that can happen quickly. There’s obviously a bit more to it then that, but that’s the basic steps. I just went to the courthouse and asked. They helped me out a lot. Worse thing they can say i…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 11:01 PM
2

what state do you live in? In FL you can't exceed 55% of total income (plus child support up to 65%) per check.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/21 02:57 PM
1

Agreed, my parenting plan spells this out explicitly. Who pays, what % is paid, who is responsible for extra costs such as gear, and travel responsibilities.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/21 04:17 PM
1

Yes, Florida. I was her last trial before she transferred to criminal court. She didn’t care at all. Since then my new judge has been awesome. He’s way better, to bad I can’t re-trial under him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/21 11:46 PM
2

I would jot these down ahead of time, so that you have a good reference point to work off of. Don't get yourself into a situation where you forget to cover a topic, and walk out of there thinking everything is resolved. Also my best piece of advice is to STAND FIRM. Do not concede something that you are not willing to concede. I know that sounds obvious, but when you are in a negotiating room, it's easy t Do not give anything up unless you are getting something in return. if you know the things …
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 01:12 AM
2

you can be in different rooms if you feel your emotions will get the best of you. My Ex chose to be in different rooms.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/21 01:11 AM
2

we allowed for a 2 hour window for the other parent on the birthday. it was annoying and as they got older we both didn't exercise that right. Just an idea. ​ I feel your pain.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 06:45 PM
1

That sucks about the negotiations but hire a new lawyer he/she/it can file for modifications due to changes or alleged inability from prior counsel. Its a harder road, but can be done. That sucks about the negotiations but hire a new lawyer he/she/it can file for modifications due to changes or alleged inability from prior counsel. It's a harder road, but can be done. start and it should lower your rate as it is no longer 100% vs nothing. So let's say you make 10K a month. and your expenses are …
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 03:16 PM
2

Ok so I understand your predicament. Let me start off by saying I pay 2X what you pay a month so put away how much it’s costing you. I get it better then most. Breathe. There are ways to protect yourself here: Do NOT hide your assets or transfer them. Don’t do it. You will get a request to produce and her attorneys will find it. And it will piss off the judge. Please please please trust me here. You do not get to decide how child support is spent. If she buys $3,000 in bubble gum and liquor then…
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/21 02:53 PM
1

speak to a lawyer, talk to law schools, and look into resources to assist you provided by the courts ( my courthouse offered a $75 an hour service to help answer basic questions and assist you with forms and process. BTW I did end up representing myself and did well but had to put in thousands of hours and did use the aforementioned services.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/21 06:41 PM
8

I was so alone in my marriage that dating immediately while in the process caused me no issues at all.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 02:06 AM
16

Nope don’t do it. It will always be there in the back of your mind and hers. The longer you are together the more you pay. Only way to reconcile is if she signs a a post-nup. And you both go to therapy. If either of those things do t happen, then no fixing it. Also you should both go dry for 1 year. Both of you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 11:37 PM
3

None. It’s not illegal, just tacky. Exceptions are if the adult has crimes against children.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 02:14 PM
3

I started with a lawyer and ended up representing myself for a myriad of reasons. In the end I did well, but wish I could have afforded a lawyer till the end. She was gonna be “civil too” and decided not to be and then proceeded to burn through 6-figures of savings. My kids are older like yours and we didn’t own much. Should have been simple, but took 4 years and went to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 04:09 AM
3

Your lawyer is smart. Trust me settling is the way to go. A judge could grant 50% for 5 years. So my suggestion is: half the assets come with half the debt. 30% for 2.5 years half the marriage She has to pay QRDO for retirement fees. She has to pay to put car in her name. What ever she wants you have to get something in return. NO EXCEPTIONS. You also need to have your lawyer do a request to produce financial affidavits and such so you can prove what she’s paying and what she’s not paying for. M…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 01:47 PM
2

I had 14, yes 14 requests to produce in my divorce. It’s a huge pain in the ass. I am with the rest of the folks. Hire a lawyer, but do as much of the work as you can to minimize hours. (“Like gathering and redacting the documents)
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/21 01:37 PM
5

Do an online one, ask your judges Assistant (JA) for a list.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/21 04:08 PM
8

Do NOT get married if you are already looking for ways to hide money. As others mentioned, it is a type of fraud, discovery can go deep, family members can be subpoenaed to testify and have discovery done on them. Get a prenup that covers assets before and guidelines for break up that covers the issues you are concerned about. Have lawyers and witnesses review, sign, and certify. I'm with others here, there's no real benefit for marriage. Have a civil ceremony if you need, and just be content wi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 11:50 AM
1

We are all here to help. We’ve been through it. Stay strong focus on you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 12:08 AM
5

We put into our child that we rotate our very other year we claim the kids. You may have time to add that or ask the judge for that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 01:32 AM
14

Hard pass, ask here for free. We are all here to help
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 02:11 AM
3

Very very very similar story to mine. I remember about 2 months after I moved out, my son says, why didn’t you do this years ago? It crushed me. They always knew. It’s gonna get dirty, addicts are like a cornered rabid animal. Keep the kids clear and never talk down about your ex in front of them. Best of luck, we are all hear for you.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/21 11:26 AM
1

Not sure where you are from. But is this a request to produce? Here’s my take: When it comes to money it all comes down to need and ability to pay. What is your need, her need, and both of your abilities to pay. This is why you show the highest need for money in all your documents and discoveries. Then you have less to pay. This works in both directions. Then the court looks at it, cuts out the BS, and comes up with their number. From there child support is calculated almost always automatically…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/21 11:19 AM
5

Yup, the ruling/ parenting plan is the law when you have disagreements. It also doesn’t matter what she says follow the rules. Also if it helps find time for therapy together (your child and yourself) and if she doesn’t allow it go back to get a judges order.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/21 12:25 PM
7

Ha ha ha ha ha ha .. sorry, ha ha ha ha ha ha aha ha. Ok for real.. if the system worked she’d be forced to work, but not even close to half of the time does that happen, or if it does well below the equitable level.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 10:04 PM
1

You can record her dropping off the kids in a public place. Cataracts are fixable. My son had his lens replaced at the age of 17, and my dad at 60 something. You can file for a medical review by your doctor of choice or an agreed upon doctor as well, you have to file for that in a short matters or motion like setting. It’s tough now, but it all comes down to her need and your ability to pay. So you need to prove that your ability to pay is smaller. She’s gonna try to prove its higher. Also do a …
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 11:13 AM
3

Yea that’s it. You have to pay for the assessment and for the assessor to testify, in my case it was worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 03:06 AM
4

You can also petition the court to have a trade/work evaluation done by a professional (can’t remember the term). It determines if she could work and what kind of work she could do. PI stuff is hard, but yea it can be done.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 02:57 AM
1

Agreed ... :::Fist bump:::
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 05:47 PM
1

agreed, i believe you are the .01%. for me, she said she was just gonna sign papers, and then people got in her ear. I was told that mediation solves about 95-98% of divorces. I went through 3 mediations with no such luck. I was told less than 1% go to trial and it's usually 1 day, mine was 3.5 days long. We both seem to be in the minority, but it's solid advice regardless IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 05:43 PM
5

I went with a lawyer for 3 years. and I ran out of money, there just wasn't any left in the coffers. So that last and final year I had to go it on my own (Pro Se). If it wasn't for the three years of work and overseeing everything he and I did together I would have failed miserably. I also took a lot of time off, studied, researched, and used court resources to assist me that final year. It can be done but it is HARD and all-consuming like printing out 3,000 pages of docs in triplicate (9K pages…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 04:12 PM
3

You are only delaying the inevitable. Sorry man. It's time to face the facts and understand that you gave it your all but it wasn't reciprocated or isn't anymore. That's OK ***Every Relationship in your life has an expiration date. Some are the day you die, some aren't. Be grateful for the time you had and move on*** With that said, it's time to file, to protect yourself and any kids you may have. To separate funds and document absolutely everything. Take the emotions out, this is a business now…
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 03:04 PM
1

ick up the kid from 8-5 on Sat and Wed). Otherwise, the court will need to decide. But hopefully, you can work it out on your own. Also, keep in mind that, in many states, once you file for divorce, there are travel restrictions (e.g. she can't leave the state without your permission). Not that she can't leave the state without permission, but without notice. Country, yes. but I believe that leaving the state depends on the state.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/21 12:07 AM
3

call the police and have them escort you into the house as it was your residence.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/21 12:05 AM
9

Hire an attorney, File an emergency junction to get you reinstated to the house, and establish time-sharing. No prenup? then everything of profit is split 50/50 so you will get 50% of the proceeds of the house. unless there's more to the story. But generally, that's how the rules are written. You get half of the assets and half of the debts too. ​ This is all business. try not to be too emotional. lawyer up, start negotiations, move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 04:10 PM
11

DO NOT LEAVE the house, move into a different room, but DO NOT LEAVE. Also tell her 50/50 split of the kids is NOT negotiable. File for divorce ASAP. And get the protections you need (she can’t run, take the kids, etc.)
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 02:53 PM
5

4 years it took me to get to trial, 4 mediations all failed cause she wouldn't negotiate. and I got stuck with a portion of her legal fees. Total cost over 150K (And I went pro Se about 2.5 years into it) ​ Here's the pisser: Judge gave her less than I offered in mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 12:08 PM
3

Same for me, took 4 years to get to trial, and 3 whole days of trial. Here’s the kicker. The judge gave her less then I offered in mediation. Accusations are hearsay, unless backed by court validated evidence (not I saw him, or my friend heard him say kind of crap). Keep only to facts and remove emotions in trial, unless it’s about your kids (if you have them). You can both say whatever you want, that includes lying during testimony. It’s during cross examination you can get to the bottom. Follo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/21 11:17 AM
1

Take it and get it in writing as quickly as possible. I would kill for that deal.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/21 02:24 AM
2

4 years. 50k for me and 75k for her
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 03:08 AM
1

So she has to prove her need and your ability to pay. So keep tight control of your expenses. The likelihood is that yes you will have to pay some. For duration you need to see your state guidelines. Questions you need to research are. Was this considered a short or long term marriage? Does long term mean permanent alimony? What is the average payout? Example in some states, average alimony for short term (less then 15 years) is 1/2 the term. So convince the court that only 9 years occurred (did…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 11:35 AM
3

I ran out of money and had to go pro Se this is a great write-up. I'll dig up my notes in the 4+ boxes of paperwork I prepared for trial.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/21 05:55 PM
1

Divorce is a business transaction, take your emotions out of it If you give something, you get something in return Go to therapy ASAP, get therapy for your 7yr old too Breathe, it’s gonna be OK. Your child will still love you, be there for them. You have every right to have custody.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 01:27 AM
1

Divorce is a business transaction. Treat it that way. Stay on top of your lawyer. Watch their hours and manage them. You can’t pay nothing, but it’s time to pull back as much as advised by your lawyer. Document everything as far as time is concerned. Do not talk crap about her in front of the kids. If you give her something (cable, internet,cash) you get something in return NO EXCEPTIONS. See my first comment about this being a business transaction. Nothing is free. You’ll do fine. Stay focused,…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/21 12:21 AM
1

Agreed, like evidence, not hearsay. Which means a P.I., A therapist testimony, and possibly a CPS investigation. Not any easy road but it can be done.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 02:06 AM
1

ard. Again opinions of childrens resiliency is highly debatable, outwardly they are resilient and adjust they get a better mom or a better dad, their adjustment is superficial (my case), a divorce inwardly shapes their paradigms, self perception, trust issues, etc etc etc and its all going to depend on age, conflict in the marriage. Children are ego centric by nature all of a sudden they lose someone in their orbit. Frankly and respectfully to you of course the “resiliency” thing is annoying AF …
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 08:42 PM
1

depends on the state, in Florida NO, age doesn't matter. They get no say unless CPS is involved.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 08:14 PM
5

This seems like an over-engineering to me. Keep it simple: Don't leave the house unless you both have agreed, in certified/notarized writing, that the house will be split financially between both parties. Kids are super resilient, they can handle week on week off, if you are worried about their mental state, therapy is key. Individual and with you. This is a business transaction now. Treat it like such. the relationship is over. Draw boundaries, defend yourself, NEVER give ANYTHING without getti…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 08:11 PM
1

R/divorceddads
/r/PussyPassDenied06/06/21 11:32 AM
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