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johnb_123 Archive

View 0 posts and 41 comments by johnb_123 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

The one thing in your control is the finances. Move to Nevada for work. It only takes 6 weeks to establish residency for purposes of divorce. Then you have a fighting chance- the laws there are much more favorable. The other option is to somehow get a post nup. You already know how to use ChatGPT so work on that and an angle that may entice her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 02:11 PM
14

AI post and AI responses. Which… is also a strategy for communicating with a covert narcissist ex.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 11:26 AM
1

Look up Marshall Burtcher and his outstanding work on codependency. Game change.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 09:55 AM
23

Stop being a character in her story and be the hero in yours.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 09:25 AM
1

Wrong account
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 01:01 PM
2

Just double check its work. I’ve uploaded decrees and documents and it has missed stuff several times over.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 09:18 AM
9

stop being a character in her story and start being the hero in yours.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 12:25 AM
1

Codependent behavior all over the place.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 01:16 AM
12

You thought rescuing her would somehow make you whole. Like you found some "Diamond in the rough" you'd polish up. Read "No More Mr Nice Guy," defne and set some boundaries, grow a pair, and stop looking to women/other people to validate you. People respect people that respect themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 09:13 AM
1

Don't get married again without a prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 11:25 PM
5

You're the golden goose. She gets half the eggs. But you will lay many, many more. Chin up, hold course.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 11:23 PM
6

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.“ — William Congreve, 1697 True then, true now, true forevermore.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/24 10:49 AM
0

Yeah, I get it. There’s one chapter of the book which you can ignore. The rest of it is incredibly helpful and spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 06:58 PM
1

….without a prenup
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 06:49 PM
3

Two things: Read No More Mr Nice Guy and start listening to Marshall Burtcher’s Healing Codependency podcast. Her feelings aren’t your responsibility. Be strong, hold course.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/24 06:48 PM
1

Dude, you got off easy. Trust me when I tell you it can be much worse. Divorce is expensive because it’s worth it. And you can’t take the money with you- the game is to get to zero by the time you’re in the ground. So you’ve just paid for some major happiness in your life. Now enjoy it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:30 PM
19

She got half the eggs but you’re still the golden goose. Go make another million and move the fuck on - the best is yet to come… FOR YOU. Go kill it brother.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 10:14 AM
3

Start by reading No More Mr Nice Guy. Watch Casey Zander on YouTube. Join a mens group. Get back to being a man.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 08:12 PM
8

The answer is in your question. You decided to make her first rather than yourself. Women don’t respect men that don’t respect themselves. So we will never be “enough” because you’re asking the wrong question. Chalk this up to experience, learn and move on. It wasn’t her. It was you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 05:14 PM
4

The best time to file was 10 years ago. The second best time is right now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 11:48 AM
1

Spot on.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 11:47 AM
3

Sure, but with a prenup. Iron clad. All income, assets and business dealings - present and future- defined as separate property unless specifically designated otherwise as community. Both parties pay into an alimony fund that would be split 50/50 at time of divorce. If she doesn’t go for that, she loves you for your money.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 12:29 PM
2

Start by researching codependency. Lots of resources out there. CoDA Guys Club is a good start.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 02:09 PM
2

Exactly. Gotta look within as to why we feel the need to do some much caretaking. No More Mr Nice Guy is a great start and it’s all rooted in codependency.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 12:59 PM
5

If you stuck a thermometer up my ass, it would have told you my ex-wife's temperature. Co-dependency at its finest.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 12:37 PM
4

Shift your focus on your part. The part of you that ignored all the red flags. That turned away from your true self, and thrived on the masquerade of her validation.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:44 AM
12

Codependency isn’t talked about enough - some of us unconsciously are attracted to broken people. We pour everything into the relationship rather than ourselves, finding transactional comfort in the validation. So yes, it’s a two way street- we need better filters and to recognize when people pleasing gets out of control. The “nice guy” act doesn’t serve either party.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 11:25 AM
1

OP- check out “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 06:48 PM
11

Nice Guys are bad enders. Just end it already.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 03:10 AM
1

eople who don’t follow their hearts are causing a great disservice to themselves, to the world, and to those who they stand by without love. Kailin Gow ?
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:03 PM
1

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. At least give John Lennon credit here...
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 09:03 PM
3

If you’re in a relationship because you fear your partner’s heartbreak, you might be co-dependent. Over time you will fantasize about ending the marriage while trying to be “happy.” The resentment towards her and your situation will grow as you look for things to distract from the misery - new toys, maybe even a move to a new city. You are doing yourself, and her, a disservice. Either figure out if this is for you, or not. It may be messy ending it, but 6 months, 6 years, 60 years from now — wil…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:25 AM
3

Other people’s misery doesn’t make us happy, but it certainly vindicates the decision - I’m just sorry the kids are victimized by her behavior. Hopefully you can shift direction sooner with the previous custody decision - something tells me it will be different this time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 12:32 PM
2

Kids first, you second.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 05:49 PM
3

I found a really simple Mother’s Day card that was more funny than anything, wrote a very simple note inside saying the kids were the best thing that came from our marriage and that they are fortunate to have a mom that loves them the way she does. Write it like she’s a friend and you’ll be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 01:33 AM
4

Great question. I debated this and decided it would be the one holiday I would honor her since she’s the mother of my kids. There’s no downside here for being nice, provided you aren’t sending any mixed signals. My kids are also over 18.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 10:02 PM
1

As a codependent, your identity got enmeshed with hers. Go read Melody Beattie and Nicole La Pera’s books and figure out who the fuck you are.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 09:33 AM
4

Perhaps for simple estates, sure. But when children are involved and/or there are complex financial matters to resolve, an excellent lawyer can help navigate both the legal and emotional aspects of what is otherwise a shitty process.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 04:06 AM
3

Avoid the ones that pay for lots of advertising. Find an excellent mediator and ask that person for some recommendations based on your situation. The good lawyers will know the judges, their bias(es) and work collaboratively with your ex’s counsel to hopefully avoid the courtroom and work most of the issues in mediation. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 04:05 AM
2

Adding "numb" to the list. Some of us are so emotionally exhausted that we just don't feel.... anything. Over time, I've experienced every single one of these emotions. As a co-dependent to an alcoholic and addict, I was more in touch with her emotions than my own. So the separation after 21 years was a new beginning for me. It's been 8 months and at age 45, feels unbelievably liberating to actually be in honest touch with my own feelings. I still have to sometimes stop and check in with myself …
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 09:25 PM
2

You’re on the right path. Hold course. And learn from this: you can’t “fix” another person. Super fine line between supporting and enabling brother. She sounds resentful of you for “fixing” her; it robbed her of the agency to define herself. Look up the Karpman Drama Triangle. Also: get a therapist and an attorney and start figuring out how to navigate her with strong boundaries. Will need to make the post-divorce relationship work for the kids. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 02:24 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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