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juliaskig Archive

View 0 posts and 135 comments by juliaskig on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

They sound like narcissists and you are the black sheep. It's horrific to be in that situation because there's a fuck of a lot gaslighting. I am guessing after the divorce and separation from your family you will start to feel better about yourself. What often happens is that you remind one of the parents of themselves, and because they hate themselves they project that hate on to you. It has nothing to do with you or your actions. Look up DARVO.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:49 AM
2

Your family sound like wonderful people /s.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:44 AM
2

I've seen this happen in my own family. SIL cheated etc, and mother helped pay for her lawyer. But our exes were never invited to Christmas after we broke up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:43 AM
3

This is in Tennessee, an equitable property state, so it's very likely that wife won't get much. You can sue for whatever you want, but the judge won't give it. If this were a community property state, then she might have ownership if there was no prenup and he used community funds to pay off the mortgage. But if he owned the house outright, it is separate property, so it's likely she won't get anything. Because this is a short term marriage she likely won't get much besides child support. The j…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 09:25 PM
2

Is the house in both your names? If so, it belongs to both of you. If in your name it depends on the jurisdiction. F
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:23 PM
2

A lot of advice, but one bit of advice is to have fun, and see where the humor is. Also go slow, and enjoy the bit of exploration. See what turns her on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 11:09 PM
2

Talk to a lawyer. Find a good one, and you will save yourself and wife a lot of money.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 10:59 PM
4

It's a narcissist cycle of abuse: Love bomb, enmesh, and then abuse (emotionally and sometimes physically), then reject and start again. Always stay away from people who love bomb. They are not reliable.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 08:58 PM
1

Right, but "Now we make pretty much the same amount every year. "
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 05:31 AM
4

You have been supporting her, and she has no way to support herself? Maybe ask that she start to work?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:47 AM
4

Depending where you live, it depends, either community property or equitable division. If community property all the assets that you accumulated int he 40 years are divided equally. You will likely be paying spousal support for a while. Though she might be entitled to some social security?
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:46 AM
4

I think you will lose 50% of the equity in your house. As to child support and Joint legal/physical custody. This is jurisdiction dependent, and what is in the best interests of the kids. Do you do equal child care? It sounds like you might be the primary care giver? You may get more physical custody than she does, and she may have to let you buy her out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:43 AM
2

Because you are a counter balance to their mother. Because you are their dad.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:51 AM
2

Have you been numb your entire life? or is this new? You may be deeply depressed. You haven't been to a good therapist. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:49 AM
10

OP, you can't afford to not get a lawyer. I don't know where you live, but you own half the house, and if you live in CA or a community property jurisdiction, you own half of the assets she accumulated since you got married. You may be entitled to some child support as you have more expenses. I don't think you will get spousal support, as you make a good living. Why are you living pay check to pay check?
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:47 AM
3

He won't get spousal support as they both make about the same amount, but he should get assets. He legally owns half the house.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:43 AM
1

You sound numb
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 02:39 AM
2

How do you know so much about the judge? Is it possible that your wife just has a better lawyer than you? Your perspective on this judge will never get you on her side. Assume instead of a woman she was a man, and you had exactly the same perspective on him. He hooked up with women, and they left him, would you think him biased in your favor? As to over scheduling and paying too much, those are arguments that your lawyer should make based on the information you are giving her. What do propose to…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 03:04 PM
2

Yah, no. Because her Lawyer can claw it back. OP, the best thing you can do for yourself is get a lawyer. Depending where you live, your assets are half community property, or they aren't.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 03:16 AM
-3

Maybe look at how many hours of work your wife put in compared to you. Likely your work day ended, and hers never did. You put in 9 hours a day, she put in 14.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:57 PM
1

I don't think you win her back. It's not how you play the game, it's the hand you are dealt. Your wife may come back to you, but it seems like right now she just wants her space and aloneness. She has spent her entire life taking care of others, now she wants to take care of herself. I also think you will be surprised at your success on the dating the apps. Look for women in your wife's age group. Also make sure you ask as many questions as you answer, in other words LISTEN, don't monologue. Fig…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:55 PM
1

I'm proud of you for all the work you have done on yourself. I think you should think about what are the things you want in your next partner. Also spend some time alone. Take care of YOURSELF. Part of your loneliness may be that you have abandoned yourself. It's a weird time now, because it used to be women that held the social fabric together, but women are resigning in droves, and it's now up for men to start doing this. This means learning to cook and inviting your friends over, doing activi…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:48 PM
2

What's the settlement? And why can't you sign it? If you have a good lawyer, it might be a reasonable settlement. Do you live in a community property state or an equitable property state? If community property all assets of the community are divided equally. This includes the family house, even if it is one person's name, if a dollar of the community has gone into the upkeep or maintenance of the house. This also includes the 401k of both parties for the time of the marriage. Alimony is usually …
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 04:43 PM
2

You might have to get a lawyer to have her deposit your share of assets into your account.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:44 PM
2

I think it's important that you and your STBX spend some time strategizing before talking to the kids. I guess it depends on your ex. On a scale from 1-10 (10 being very reasonable) where is your ex? How much of a surprise will this be to her? Have you done counseling etc and done everything you can do to make it work? I think to have a good divorce you have to do the preliminary work. It's possible that, that is not possible, but don't spring things on people. Is your ex a good mother? If so, s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:42 PM
2

I think if they are marital assets, you should have a say in how they are dispersed. Are you ready to divorce her? Maybe think about an agreement of pay back if she gives away more than half her share of assets. It's hard to claw back assets after they have been given away, even if it's in bad faith. It's much easier to stop the give away now. Talk to her about this, and tell her your concerns. Be open about communicating, and protecting yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 03:29 PM
1

Why did things change so drastically in your marriage? It sounds like she is suffering tremendously and taking it out on you. If you stay married to her, you will have to support her for the rest of your life. If you get a divorce, you won't. I know money is tight, but it's worth finding a very good divorce lawyer and consulting them, so you know what your rights are.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:18 AM
2

Some marriages are very short. But it might be better for you this way. You can still find someone who is better suited, and your picker might be better now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:13 AM
1

That's true in some instances, but not in others. It's to the judge's discretion.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:11 AM
1

Florida is an equitable distribution state. The fact that you already gave her a lot of cash, and have a signed agreement that this is all she wants will count for something. It just depends on your judge, and lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:10 AM
6

Talk to a lawyer. Do you have a contract on rent to own? You might own half the equity that accrued. If not, you do have tenant's rights, and you should take full advantage of them. You might even want to have your own affairs (don't do it, but you can imagine the revenge).
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 02:05 AM
3

And you are getting out relatively unscathed. It can be so much worse, and I am sure with her next partner it will be. I know several abusers who have destroyed people. I am dealing with one such situation right now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:33 PM
3

It's called the narcissist's cycle, they love bomb, enmesh and the abuse. You have now been there. If anyone ever tries to love bomb you, RUN!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:32 PM
6

Thank god that your bill was rung up wrong. She is abusive!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:42 PM
2

I wonder what the stats are on this. Seems like when the spouse is out of the picture the kids get the abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 04:52 AM
1

She's violent. I doubt it will just stop with you. I'm sorry, but at least get supervised visitation until she takes anger management courses. Or at least talk to a domestic violence counselor to understand who she is. It may be just against that one man, but be sure.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 08:46 AM
2

Get full custody of kids
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:31 AM
1

You have learned helplessness. Action is you antidote. Go on one date a week. Go to the gym daily. Invest time in friendships.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 04:18 AM
3

Also check to see what your house is really worth, most of CA it’s likely worth more than you think. Look at comps in your area, that have sold in the last month. Your RSUs are part of the community, so be careful with negotiation. You likely owe her more in CS and SS than she is asking. Who pays college expenses? Who pays healthcare?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 08:36 AM
3

You may bet more than 50/50. but you shouldn't get less.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 10:05 PM
9

There is no explanation she can give you that will make you feel better. She fell out of love, she cheated, whatever. It doesn't matter. Nor does it matter that she is the most beautiful woman you have ever soon. She broke your heart, don't give her anything more. You found a better fit. Enjoy your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 10:03 PM
2

if OP has a good lawyer. Sounds like a shitty lawyer to me.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 07:00 AM
4

If your lawyer thinks you should sign this fire your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 06:58 AM
10

This is so harsh. But one way to get through this is to take your throne and take your power. Don't ask her anymore what she wants. She's leaving, so it's time to start asking yourself what you want, and who you are. Do you have kids? if so, do you want 50/50? Do you have assets to divide? If so, how do you want to divide them? You need to take care of the practicalities. You also need to withdraw your energy from her. She made up her mind without working on it, or giving you warning. So you owe…
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 12:06 AM
1

What about waiting until last child is out of the house, before selling it? Are there other assets?
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 08:33 AM
0

Wife is trying to make herself a widow.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:59 AM
6

Now I am laughing, sorry. Starts out rather innocently, but not good. She left you over night. Then without your ID, then you had to take an 8 hour ride. Then without your heart meds. Then it’s been abusive for years. Your wife is a monster IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:59 AM
12

So she could have killed you. Sweet. She’s horrific. Hire the best lawyer you can. And divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:54 AM
10

I would divorce my husband if he did any of these things. 1. Your family is as important to visit as hers. 2. She had the car. She is responsible to follow through on her obligations. 3 She left you without ID 4. And worse her brain is so twisted she doesn’t see her fault. IMO she is abusive.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 06:52 AM
1

I’m surprised you would be liable for any, and also that the amount is so small
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 08:53 AM
18

Get a lawyer, and find out you legal rights. You and she are done. She’s a stranger. Don’t get angry, just be done. She’s not worth your anger. She is nothing to you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 04:11 AM
1

You are likely to get more custody. You have to decide what you want. Do you own a house together? Or does she that she paid part of mortgage or taxes etc? It may be a community property asset, and you own half.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:25 PM
2

Then she can argue that they were a benefit to he marriage and should be community loan.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:23 PM
2

You can overturn these assumptions by providing opposing evidence. For example, suppose your student loan was incurred less than ten years before filing for divorce. In that case, you can show that you and your spouse enjoyed a higher standard of living or could acquire community assets because of your education. Consulting an experienced divorce attorney is essential, especially when your divorce involves student loans. One significant factor is whether the student loan benefited the marriage f…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:15 PM
0

Texas is a community property state, which means that all assets and loans acquired DURING your marriage belong to the community. This includes, but is not limited to houses cars, investments, retirement accounts. The biggest asset that most people own is their house. Even if the house is in your wife's name, it may be community property. In CA if a spouse spends $1 of community property on the house, the community owns the house. https://www.thelarsonlawoffice.com/can-i-buy-a-house-without-my-s…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 03:53 PM
-5

You hate women. It's very sad.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 04:05 AM
1

What if tomorrow, she said she was done. She found someone she found more attractive. How would you feel? or flip a coin: continue break up. see how you feel about the decision. Are you both on the same page re: kids, long term goals etc?
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 09:44 PM
4

Can I recommend something. Leave it or take it: You need to take your throne. She may likely come back, because you sound like a wonderful man, but the relationship is not sustainable. It's too heavy. The best relationships are between two people who are both taking their thrones. Right now it feels like a queen and a subject. She needs a king, and you need yourself back. Grieve as you would at the end of the relationship, because that is necessary for many relationships. But don't stay in depre…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 09:32 PM
1

That's possible, but she doesn't seem keen on it. OP may be in a must stronger place financially than ex, and she can't afford it? If OP wants ex to pay something he propose a token like $200
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 01:00 PM
4

Yes, but mom does not want her to have a car, so is not willing to pay. it's a fender bender now, but it sounds like your daughter needs more driving lessons.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 02:38 AM
1

It depends if he wants a good divorce or a continuous very expensive divorce. A good divorce still is incredibly painful, and expensive, but the best interest of the kids is the focus. Ops focus should be best interest of kids..
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 07:27 AM
1

Not statistically. Statistically women end up poorer, “After a divorce is finalized, men hold 2.5 times the amount of wealth women do, and women's household income falls 41% (compared to men's 23%).” Fortune magazine
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 07:19 AM
1

And it's unethical to over bill for work done. I can't imagine how they have spent 700k in legal hours.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 05:48 PM
2

If you have a lawyer let them deal with it. My impression is that her lawyer has an ethics violation that could get them disbarred, but it completely depends on the jurisdiction.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 05:47 PM
-3

You've been married for 4 years and have 2 kids together. That sounds exhausting. I know she asked for a divorce, but she's been asking for something more for the last 4 years, and you were to overwhelmed to hear it. Tell her that you will grant her divorce, but first, you want to hear her out. Tell her you will listen to the why's for an hour, and then LISTEN. Do NOT try to defend yourself, do not try come back at her. Do not tell her how hard you are working. JUST LISTEN. When she's done talki…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 05:45 PM
2

So you are paying 1k child support for one 4 days of a month of childcare, including everything? Not sure if 50/50 would give you 0 child support, it depends on the jurisdiction. Some care more about the income for each parent.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/24 05:30 PM
1

Not the way you play the game, but the hand you were dealt. You two loved each other, but were ultimately not compatible.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/24 06:33 AM
2

Do you have to ask the judge for anything? or can you just present the evidence? If you can just neutrally present everything this is what I would do. Also talk about how much you love and miss your child, and are worried that the child's safety needs might not be met. If you have to ask for something, I would ask for full custody. Your ex is not safe.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 05:19 PM
1

Wife is 22 now, which means she was 18 when they got married, and he was 28...
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 05:14 PM
3

Remove your ring, but don't sell it yet. Wait. You will be ready to sell it when you are ready. May you find lots of happiness, and peace.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 02:22 AM
5

I think you consult a lawyer. There's a very good PUBLIC POLICY reason for community property, and it's exactly this situation, when one person contributes to the community in a way that does not generate income=moving, caring for the kids, cooking more, etc. The mansion is likely in her father's name, but it's possible that you can claw back 400k from the house, and receive 200k of that. I don't know, because I don't know everything in your case, and don't know the law, because I am not a lawye…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 02:19 AM
1

I meant benefited financially, not emotionally. I think you have to take the emotions OUT of the equation, because the last thing you want to do is "fight over the teapot". I think you are right about her parents manipulating the situation. It sounds like they sold the property so they didn't have to evict you. BUT THIS IS NOT IMPORTANT! What's important is an equitable split, and half custody of your kids. Figure out all the assets you have accumulated throughout your marriage. Does your wife w…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 04:16 PM
1

I don't live in MA, and don't know the laws, but that seems like a very dangerous way to go. If she has an attorney, I would imagine that she will get a court order, and be a lot less amenable to mediation. Mediation is a "friendly" way to go. You get into court and everything will be very expensive. Where did you get the money for the down payment for your condo? Did you pay during the marriage? was it market rate? Is there a prenup?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:15 PM
1

Umm. You live in an equitable distribution state. This means that any assets in the marriage will be equitably distributed. This includes 401k, down payments that you used for your condo etc. I know you think your money is yours, and hers is hers, but for your marriage everything was the marriage's. It sounds like you benefitted tremendously from this arrangement, including free or lower than market rate rent, child care, cleaning, cooking etc. When monetized this is about 100k+ in services, so …
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:09 PM
1

Yes, there's no reason that an abusive parent should have 25% custody. Can you film her? How abusive is it?
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 07:58 PM
1

I’m worried about your daughter. What kind of custody do you have?
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 09:10 PM
1

Statistically women are financially hurt more from divorce than men. But that may be changing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:00 AM
2

Know that you will find your gf, and it won’t matter who she dates.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 08:19 AM
3

Depression is sometimes anger turned in. OP has so much right to feel extremely angry at his wife. But his daughters need him, and in a few years he will look back and wonder that he felt this way. Wife is awful.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 09:11 AM
1

Maybe enjoy the whore phrase. If you want to get serious with someone you will.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 05:34 PM
1

It sounds like ptsd.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:21 AM
1

I think that is wise, because each jurisdiction is different. I don't know where you live, but you can look up the laws in your jurisdiction. If it's a community property state, you are likely entitled to some equity in her savings and if there's a house, you are likely entitled to half the equity in the house. You are also likely entitled to some support until you get back on your feet. Even if you use a lawyer it does not have be a fight. The one bit of advice I can give, is don't fight over t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:48 PM
1

Most states have a formula for CS. If she isn't working, or her income is much lower, than you have to pay CS. Likewise, if she was making more than you, she would have to pay CS. CS is for the child, not the parent.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:38 PM
1

Best to go LC with dad. Some parents are awful.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:35 PM
3

My mother paid for my SIL's divorce lawyer. My brother is still very kind to my mother, but I think it tore him apart.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 02:33 PM
3

I totally understand. A lot of people have been there. I know you don't think it will change, but it will and you will wonder how you ever felt so sad. what I recommend is do things that are fun with your body. Maybe if you like, go dancing, or play a sport. Also I think the world might be changing for the better again, but last year sucked for a lot of people. Also once you have given up so much of yourself, you are probably lonely, for yourself. Do 10 things that you used to like. I better jus…
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 12:10 AM
2

Sometimes you will fall in love with people that have similar characteristics to family of origin, with the hope that with your partner you can fix what is broken in family. So if your mom ignored you, you will fall in love with a woman who will also ignore you, with the hopes that you can get her attention and heal this feeling. So the idea is, be very suspicious of the women you fall for, because they may be treating you like your mother, father etc. Be with someone you feel warm and comfortab…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 09:04 PM
1

Your family of origin sounds yuk, so may be attracted to yucky women. Date women that you don’t fall in love with, will likely lead to a healthier happier relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 02:41 AM
1

You married an incontento
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 06:39 PM
1

Yuk to the HV LV shit
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 06:32 PM
3

I hate Valentine’s Day
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 04:34 AM
7

Wife is an angel, look at OPs history. Once they get a divorce, she will have time for a glow up. OP will continue fucking around with AP, until ex wife finds a new better man who has integrity. Then OP will try to get her back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:12 AM
1

Op will not be able to handle the responsibility of 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:08 AM
1

He’s not going to
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 09:07 AM
2

I think you need to be methodical about this. First, decide what you want. Do you want to continue with this situation. Do you want to start having affairs of your own. What type of atmosphere do you want for your kids. Second, if you decide you might want a divorce consult with three lawyers to find out how they would want to proceed. My guess is that once your wife is done with graduate school she will file. But I am not sure. It also sounds like your wife is furious with you. Has she been com…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:26 PM
1

Maybe ask her what were five things that didn’t work for her
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:13 PM
1

What was the fight about?
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 11:01 PM
1

Take an advil PM, or an Advil, and Benadryl. But only one tablet each. OTC pain meds also work on mental pain. You desperately need sleep. Think of all the things you love. Send love to your kids, then to your neighbors, then to your town, keep expanding. My guess, she will want you back, and you will have moved on. Sometimes depression is anger at others turned in. Trust yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 10:31 PM
2

I think you need to follow your instincts right now. Listen to your body, your heart and mind. You have been dealing with a horrible woman and she has destroyed your kids. But, please, if in 10 years they want a relationship, please at least spend a bit of time with them. I am so sorry you have gone this. The only other thing I would recommend, is don't get seriously involved with anyone else, until you heal whatever it was that got you attracted to this woman.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 04:25 PM
4

Community property state? Half the house, CS, alimony (for limited amount of time), half 401 k for amount accrued during marriage. But you will be expected to go back to your career, likely 50/50 custody, but it depends.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 06:22 AM
1

If person is cashing paychecks and spending a lot less on marital expenses the other person can ask for a justification.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 04:15 PM
2

You should file. You need to grey rock her. She needs to be dead to you. The person you married does not exist. Sorry to be so blunt, but she is cruel.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/23 04:17 PM
1

Stay with week on week off unless there are issues. It’s equitable and easy to navigate
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 07:27 PM
1

It’s likely very difficult to change status quo later on. So make the best deal you can. Try to be equitable.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 07:23 PM
2

Do you have a sister or someone who can be there with you? Gather what stuff you know is hers, and put near the door. Last thing you want to do is "fight over the teapot". But it sounds like there really isn't much in your home that is still hers. I hope you get full custody. She sounds horrible. I also hope in two years, when you are in a happy and easy relationship, you look back and are grateful that you are not with her.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 05:56 AM
1

So what happens in matriarchal societies? Most of our evolution was in matriarchal societies.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 05:43 PM
1

Numbers might not be, but cause and effect might be. What many men don’t know is that a lot of women don’t talk about their past or number of partners. All the articles sites are from conservative sources. Are there any articles about the decoupling of oxytocin and orgasm?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 05:41 PM
1

You are taking her threats very seriously (which might be a good idea, but might not be). My guess is that she is so used to being dominating that she does not know what it is like to be in an equal relationship. You are smart enough to start making the relationship equal. Maybe be strategic about it, but do not leave any written or electronic evidence of your plans. Your wife is very abusive. Also most lawyers will consult pro bono, so maybe consult with a lawyer to find out what your rights ar…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:37 PM
1

She's not going to change, but if you do, she will have to either deal with it, or divorce you. So start looking into classes and see what it would cost to get into a career of your choice. Then tell her (don't ask) that you will be taking this course and this course, and will be using this amount of money. If you have to sell your house to do so, do so. You need to be a fully functional human being to be a good husband and/or a good father, brother and son. You need to renegotiate your relation…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:28 PM
1

Why did she want the divorce? Were there ways you were neglecting the marriage? I get the sense that you were getting the benefits of marriage, without realizing them. She was finally tired of it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:16 PM
-5

So she's working, but not at the same level as you. Did she take care of your kids while you built your career? If so, then the community owns part of your success. Could you have had kids by yourself and built your career to be as successful? Were you very grateful to her for everything she did for you during your marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:15 PM
8

Is there a way you can financially stop working for a while? Then get a new court order. There's no reason she shouldn't start working.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:13 PM
1

Your wife is going through a lot, but YOU have no control over it. She needs to be on her own, so she can start looking at herself to find her issues. In six months she will want to come back to you, but you will feel "allergic" to her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:12 PM
1

What about getting a good career yourself? Is there something you want to do that makes money? How can you make your relationship work with your wife? What does she want from you that you can't give? What do you want from her that she can't give? It sounds like you are in cycles of dislike and power struggles. Instead what are the things that can be let go of and broken down into manageable bites?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:10 PM
1

Have you asked about couples therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 08:07 PM
3

Wait to sleep with someone until you want to be exclusive.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 01:06 AM
7

Weaponized incompetence
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 06:40 PM
1

You aren’t leaving b/c MS. It’s the rest. But you may have to pay spousal support. Also talk to your daughter about how you are feeling.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 09:33 AM
2

I don’t think you should leave unless you have enough time with your kids for joint custody. Also take lots of notes
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 09:29 AM
3

Do not have sex, and move out
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 04:12 AM
20

She may just want sex. Or maybe she misses you? and is hoping for reconciliation? But DON'T DO IT! Some people use sex as power over someone. Also it will confuse the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 03:58 AM
–

You are trying to be alpha with the wrong person. Instead of alpha vs beta, be a parent to YOUR kids. You don't have to travel a day early, but you can take your two kids to another hotel for a day or two. Unless you want another divorce, you need to get your parenting under control, and don't blame your "toxic" ex. While YOUR kids are in YOUR custody, they are YOUR responsibility. Stop being a victim, and start being a leader. How do you expect your kids to behave. Let them know, and let know s…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 12:25 AM
1

Has she been institutionalize for her suicide attempts?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 12:09 AM
2

You might want to find a new attorney. This shouldn't be going on for so long.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 12:08 AM
5

She may need to get a job, so you are not the only breadwinner in the relationship. You need to grey rock her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 03:43 PM
4

I disagree completely. I don't know what OP did in the community, but the wife knew that she earned more. She could have asked for prenup or even a postnuptial. When you get married it's a contract, and they're rules to the contract. I think it's best if OP hires a fantastic lawyer and tries to keep it professional and as low conflict as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 11:05 PM
2

Consult a lawyer. But when you got married in CA your marriage became an entity = community. That community owns the house and all assets (except separate property = property brought into the marriage and never co-mingled, gifts and inheritance). When you break up the marriage each half of the marriage gets half of the assets. It might not seem fair, but it's the law. As to alimony and child support. I don't know enough about these, but there's a formula for child support. Your gender should not…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 11:01 PM
14

Sometimes depression is anger turned inside. Your best revenge will be getting your life together so beautifully that she wants you back. By then you will have met your new love.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 12:02 AM
1

Find a g8 lawyer, and follow their advice.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 05:52 AM
1

With a 49/51 split? Wow. I guess it depends on the jurisdiction.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 02:57 AM
0

Then you know that CS is for the kids. Not sure what jurisdiction you are in, but I would doubt the agreement is binding.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 02:47 AM
4

It's called bread crumbing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 03:34 PM
1

I would never do this. It's an invasion of privacy, even if it's public. I guess it's important to check that there are no terrible criminal charges, but even that does not give a lot information. You will find someone who wants a normal relationship with you. One thought, if one of your parents was very invasive, you might be looking to repeat that pattern with your loved ones. You might be attracted to an invasive woman? You will find a healthy relationship, but this is not it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:27 PM
1

Are you obsessing about someone else?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:03 PM
1

That is the worse advice, unless you want to get divorced? Which is fine. Better advice, treat your wife with respect, and expect respect back. So if everything for the family and home is done, then set aside game time, but be aware, games are: addictive Time sucks. They take up hours and hours and hours of one's very short life. So figure out how you want to live your life. Do you want to be alone in a basement playing games for your life? Make sure you have made this decision, and are shaping …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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