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View 0 posts and 133 comments by jumblesandtumbles on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I'd have to say no...that kinda seems dehumanizing? At that moment there are more important things going on than sexual attraction/desire. But later that could potentially maximize the "let's get it on" reaction if there was a feeling of becoming closer that resulted from it. A guy talking passionately and knowledgeably about something can potentially cause that reaction. Things that can prevent the "let's get it on" reaction for me are usually things like condescension or a constant need for at…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 04:19 PM
1

Wouldn't that be kinda weird anyway? I mean, yeah, I'm usually feeling things like concern or empathy or wondering do I go in for a hug? Touch a hand? Tbf, that's pretty much my go to response when anyone cries. But yeah, I mean if that's what you mean then no, I'm not looking at a crying man and thinking oh yeah, let's get it on. Is that a thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 02:28 PM
1

That's why I was trying to ascertain what you meant by protector. Your comment above was that nobody had answered if they could view a man who cried as a protector. I'm telling you that someone physically protective isn't necessarily something I actively look for. Not in a I don't need no man kinda way, but since I was taught to take care of myself as much as possible, there are other qualities that I find more important. Now, if you're saying it's more of a subconscious thing that the percieved…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 01:06 PM
1

I mean, I'd definitely notice a guy in a cape running around.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 05:05 AM
1

I think some of the more traditional action movies are pretty unrealistic but then do we expect realism from those movies? Most guys aren't out saving the world or taking on some evil doer so the love story being just as unrealistic is pretty much a given. Some movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall are less unrealistic (still attainable but still have that fantasy element). In a lot of movies you get the super hot guy who gets the super hot woman or the average guy who gets the super hot woman. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 04:51 AM
1

I guess, sure, if I thought of men in terms as protectors in the first place. Are we talking physically protecting? I mean, if a guy is physically capable of protecting me, crying won't change that. I've sat with partners while they cried over various issues and it didn't cause me to view them negatively or less than. I have guy friends who have cried with me. Still some of the strongest guys I know. But I'm not looking for a protector. My mom and stepdad constantly taught the importance of self…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/20 04:09 AM
1

It kinda depends on the ONS. Like if it's with his ex and it made me doubt if he was truly over her, then that would lead to some other discussions. And it depends on how our relationship was going prior to becoming exclusive. Logic and feelings don't always mix. So if it were a situation where we spent a lot of free time together, had been seeing each other awhile, and had essentially fallen into a lot of patterns similar to that of an exclusive relationship but hadn't actually had that talk ye…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/20 03:42 AM
2

I read somewhere that creepiness is about trying to figure out if something is a threat or not. Or in this case, someone. And according to some other articles I've read, confidence puts people at ease. So it makes sense that someone confident in social situations will not come across as creepy as often as someone unconfident in social situations and who may not be as well versed in social norms and cues. Someone who stands too close or doesn't pick up cues that the other person is trying to leav…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/20 02:59 AM
1

So my boss, who's kind of a dick sometimes, basically told my coworker that he didn't think he'd be successful once he got back into the dating scene because of his height. My coworker basically like, "I know some women won't date me because I'm short. I don't care. I know who I am and I know I'm a catch." And he proceeded to dive in and prove my boss wrong. This guy isn't exceptionally good looking. Or rich. He just is confident in what he brings to the table. He got casual sex. He got women in…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 05:08 AM
3

I'm not gonna lie. I haven't done a deep dive into all of the terminology and most definitions I've gotten off this sub, which I kinda stumbled across and been interacting on for a couple of weeks or so. But one guy defined spinning plates as multiple FWBs and another said it was having sexual relationships with multiple women at a time (not necessarily FWBs) and I've seen it used like that a lot but I admit, I might be using it wrong. When the term cock carousel is used, it's usually used in a …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 04:57 AM
2

The term itself is pretty disparaging in general and usually the way I've seen it used is that a woman's value as a person is lessened because of the number of partners she's had. That's why I think it's bad. And usually it's a double standard. I see posts about spinning plates in one sentence and then posting about how the cock carousel or n-count of a woman in the next. The implication (or sometimes outright statement) being that a woman's value is reduced by the number of partners but not a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 04:21 AM
1

There are guys who are attracted to me. There are guys who aren't. I can't deny that I probably have an easier time than some people but I'm not everyone's type. Confidence is important tho. I'm sorry you've gotten to the point that you feel that way about yourself but I'm sure you have lots of positive qualities to offer someone. I hope you get to a point where you can focus on those and do better than settling on someone that comes your way out of boredom/loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 04:11 AM
3

So if stigmatizing is deeming someone unworthy, then...I think it's how the preference is expressed. If that makes sense. Like someone might prefer blonds but if they don't devalue other people with different hair colors, I'd say no. But if they saw people with other hair colors as lesser than somehow, I'd say yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 04:02 AM
8

Agreed. But it's a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:57 AM
1

Ah but I have. I'm taller for a woman (not super tall but taller than average) and generally prefer guys around my height, give or take a couple of inches or so, although someone outside that either way isn't any sort of dealbreaker for me. I'm not saying there are no shallow women. There are shallow people everywhere. And people who are attracted to certain things and that's just how it is. But not all women care. Finding someone I connect with is hard enough without putting other limits on it,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:54 AM
1

Yet there were literally four other women interested in him.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:37 AM
9

Oh I don't doubt that at all. Just because they'd sleep with someone they consider a slut doesn't mean they don't slut shame.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:36 AM
1

Nope, it's a real thing. He got a high five from some guy at the bar when we went out for being with her. Yeah, some women care but not all do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:28 AM
14

Going on about the cock carousel and not wanting a woman with a high n count (things guys say in this sub) is slut shaming, since technically slut shaming is defined as stigmatizing a woman for engaging in promiscuous behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:26 AM
1

The woman my coworker is dating is fit, attractive, and definitely doesn't think she's doing him a favor. She's also about 5 inches taller than him without heels. And is a guidance counselor. She's just into him.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:21 AM
9

There's another post on here about guys who wouldn't want to marry women who have slept around a lot, so I gotta disagree that they aren't. But both genders do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:17 AM
1

I know a handful. If that were the case, physically nonconventionally attractive guys would never get dates, marry, etc. But they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:15 AM
1

Not at all. Only one of the short guys I know looks like a male model. One is short, overweight, and bald. And no, he isn't rich. He is one of the most fun people I've ever met tho and has more confidence than most people I know. And he routinely attracts very attractive women. My coworker does not look like a male model and was seeing four women at one point. I almost didn't want to introduce him to my friends because of that. He's also fun and confident. Personality is important.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:10 AM
1

Bit of both, I think. I don't think a guy should lie about his height to get a date. It's like someone using a picture a few years old or lying about weight (not saying that the height and weight are the same, just that misleading someone on physical appearance can have awkward results). But I acknowledge that in general, shorter guys can have a harder time dating. I know when I was testing the waters about introducing my coworker to some of my women friends, I mentioned his height because I kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 03:02 AM
3

I was reading a study the other day on dating and gender that men and women don't really want anything super different when it comes to dating and relationships. It looked at what they listed as important and also who they chose. It concluded there was more variation between individuals than genders. I'm not saying there are no differences at all, but I see a lot of posts on here talking like men and women are different species. I have a few close guy friends, and no, they aren't guys hanging ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/20 02:32 AM
1

Lol happy to help.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/20 03:45 PM
1

That's true and a good way to look at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/20 01:59 AM
12

I've read some articles regarding male and female n-count, and seen some things on here (usually not about guys, tho). But I'll go with some anecdotes. I'm friends with a handful of men with what some might consider high ish but still not outlandishly so n-counts - like numbers between 20-30 (men in their 30s who have never married) and guys on the less high end. They both seem to mostly run into the same issues in dating and relationships, are all capable of attracting women, and there doesn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 06:21 PM
1

I would consider sticking around to work things out in the short term emotional affair scenario, and the most comfortable I would be sticking around in that scenario is if my partner acknowledged lines in a friendship had gotten blurry and pulled back. I posted last night how I've tried to work through cheating before in the past, and one of the things I learned from it is that while it doesn't mean that I can't forgive someone, in my past experiences it changed my feelings because it changed ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 04:43 PM
5

I've been in a couple of LTRs where my partners cheated. I tried the forgive/work it out route with the first guy, mainly of pressure from family and friends at the time, and also because it had been going so well at the time. We had been together for years, our lives were very integrated, we had a social circle as a couple (but also our own friends) and my family adored him. "He's so sorry." "He regrets it so much." "Y'all are just so perfect for each other." And I can forgive, it wasn't necess…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/20 05:02 AM
2

That can be true to an extent but you have to look at context. This thread was full of "women police it by not fucking guys," or something along those lines. So, it seems to mainly be a conversation on how gender roles are enforced especially in terms of dating/sexuality. In that case, is a study from 1966 going to be especially relevant? A seminal study would probably be useful and it would be useful to compare, but a study from 1966 is most likely not going to accurately reflect society as it …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 01:46 PM
2

Since I'm not arguing a specific point I have no idea what you're trying to say. That research within the last decade wouldn't be reflective of how roles are enforced? That research can't be dated? That society hasn't changed in 16 years?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 04:52 AM
3

I did a few searches after checking out your link, which is a bit dated considering how society has changed within the past 16 years and also cites research which is decades old. I think, if I'm recalling right, the most recent research it referred back to was 19 years old. So what I was really looking for was research done within the last 10 years or so. I'm not saying older research isn't relevant but newer research would be more reflective of what is happening now. I came across a lot of rese…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/20 03:07 AM
1

What about the people just having sex and aren't claiming to have a bond? Or the ones that wait to have a bond to have sex? Those don't exist? Or the ones that form attraction based on non-physical characteristics? I mean yeah, there are people who mistake sexual attraction for a real connection to a person. Yeah, that applies to some people but is way too limiting to apply across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/20 12:15 PM
1

I know a couple. One has all the tools - attractive, good job, responsible - but gets told things like that he's too closed off or that the women don't feel like he's genuinely interested. He is, he's just terrible at expressing himself. The other is attractive, fun, and funny. He's very traditional though and has strong views about traditional gender roles but has habits that a woman willing to be in that type of role is usually incompatible with. So he's a guy that goes out drinking a lot and …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/20 05:10 AM
3

I don't know if I'm any kind of pill but I'll give the question a go. I personally think that it's unreasonable to expect that any person, male or female, not show any vulnerability. However, I recognize that it can be harder for guys to show theirs and also, in some cases, for some women to react well when guys do, because I think society as a whole has done a disservice to men in regards to expectations on how they should handle emotions and how to respond to those emotions. Nobody has their s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/20 04:52 AM
10

Historical examples are all well and good but you also have to consider there are many women who made significant contributions to history that weren't credited at the time due to their sex. Take patents. Historically, many women couldn't apply even though it was legal federally because they weren't permitted by some states to own property. Or look at female writers who wrote under male pseudonyms because their work wouldn't have been published otherwise. Point being, historically, it's not that…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/20 04:14 AM
1

The issue starts when you try to prove fault. I'm in law now, and although I don't handle the majority of the family cases, thankfully, I handle some and prior to this I did social work for many years. Take domestic abuse cases, for example. One of the smaller countries I work for is notoriously known for the police not making arrests or filing reports when those calls come in. So say if someone in that county had to prove abuse in a case and all they had is their word against their spouses, (an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/20 02:44 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/20 03:32 PM
2

I'm not against marriage per se but...it's not end goal for me. I don't need to be married as a woman, I wouldn't need to be as a man. But I don't want kids either, so my opinion might be different if I did, and not for child support purposes, you can get that even if you aren't married, but for possibly a stronger sense of stability? If I have a LTR and we have the understanding that any commitment we make to each other is important because we have integrity and respect each other and our relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/20 01:01 PM
1

Um yes and no. It depends on the age of the guy and his current predilection. Let's say a guy is in his 30s, more discriminatory in his dating life now but went through a phase where he slept around a lot in his 20s. I'm not going to hold his past against him. People grow up. As long as he's clean and not having indiscriminate sex still, I don't care. But if he sleeps around a ton presently, then I bypass him. I don't do online dating, so when I meet a guy, chances are someone knows a bit about …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/20 02:46 AM
2

I wouldn't say there was no sexual harassment back in the 70s and 80s, just that it wasn't acknowledged like it has been today. However, there is a true distinction between actual harassment and an approach that is still polite despite being unwanted. I know a lot of women who don't care about a guy who is considerate in his approach whether they're interested or not. However, I've also met some women that simply get offended by a man approaching, even if he was polite and went away as soon as h…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 03:01 PM
1

Ehhh...partial agreement. I hadn't heard of most of this stuff before coming across this sub but it's pretty common for certain aspects of dating to be discussed with friends, like if to approach and when if they're interested in someone, what to do on the first date, or the timing of certain dating milestones. Where to meet people outside of online or a bar. Stuff like that. At least I've had these discussions with friends, both male and female. But I agree to the extent that a lot of those dis…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 01:39 PM
1

I think maturity helps with making people more adept at picking up social cues (hopefully, at least) but yeah, true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 12:50 PM
1

I'm late to this but I think in a situation where there is friendship first and someone develops romantic feelings that aren't reciprocated, it's entirely justified if the person who has those feelings needs to take a step back. I have a friend, a woman, who developed feelings for one of our guy friends after a few years. He did attempt to date her because on paper they seemed perfect for each other, and they shared some kisses but no sex. Which was purposely done on his part because he realized…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 05:23 AM
1

I have quite a few good guy friends so I know all guys don't have that mentality but some definitely do and yeah, it's disheartening.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 05:04 AM
2

While I understand what the expectations is, no I don't feel pressured to conform to it, although I know some women who do. My rulebook isn't a timeline necessarily, although I don't do random hook ups or have sex on the first date. My rules are about how comfortable I am with a guy, our chemistry, etc. I don't feel the need to sacrifice any of that to keep a guy, although marriage isn't my end goal, so I can see if someone was trying to lock someone down they might feel pressured to play by soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 05:01 AM
1

Agreed. I take it as a positive sign if a guy has women friends he's not trying to have sex with. I was talking to my boss last week, whose in his 40s and married, and he commented how when he was younger he mainly viewed women through a sexual lens. He didn't have female friends and said honestly, at the time, he couldn't have been a true friend because in most cases, he'd be trying to get laid. But he said now he kinda of regrets that he was so sex focused when he was younger even though he ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 04:49 AM
5

Probably the best explanation I've seen of cat calling. It's not complimentary in the least. There's a huge difference between a compliment and a cat call. Some guy yelling "nice tits" as he drives by you isn't complimentary. I have one exception, and it's one random guy who yelled out of the passenger side of a car that he thought I was really pretty and he hoped I had a nice day. But that's definitely not the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 04:22 AM
12

I don't know all 28% of the men not having sex but I'll throw out some anecdotes. Let's assume they all want to because as I've posted before, I know a couple of guys who have bypassed the opportunity because they're waiting for something a bit more meaningful. I have what one of my guy coworkers calls a superpower and what a lot of my friends call my curse - people open up to me pretty quickly, so I have a lot of instances where I get into deep talks with random people. And I've had a few discu…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 03:50 AM
1

I do think entitlement is an issue. Reading the posts about how society should regress and take away women's rights so it's easier for guys to get a woman are absolutely ridiculous and reek of entitlement. But I guess I see a lot of lack of connection on here a lot. Some people on here post and it makes me wonder how much real life experience they have with the opposite sex that isn't solely through online dating. Like having friends of the opposite sex. And I think you miss a lot of social cues…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 05:46 PM
1

Haha I think a lot of people just don't get a lot of in person social interaction these days (not just because of quarantine), not nearly as much as previous generations, so a lot don't have well developed social skills, which includes reading people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 05:18 PM
5

It came up as a suggested sub so I walked in thinking maybe it was a debate on men and women's issues. I've stayed even tho I find both sides pretty offensive a lot of times but I have a pretty thick skin so while I'm muttering, "You gotta be kidding me," at some posts, sometimes I'm laughing too. I'm still learning about red pill although I'd heard of it. I hadn't even heard of FDS or black pill before wandering in here. So what do I think of it all? I was surprised that since I'm over 30, I ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 05:12 PM
2

Hahaha yeah, I don't if I am or not, but I've gotten that a lot in person. Sometimes it's a compliment. Sometimes it's not.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 04:24 PM
3

I'm not saying it's not potentially wounding or embarrassing or anything else, because it can take a lot for some people to put themselves out there and approach someone. And I know many women who have never done it but the minute you suggest they try it, they look like a deer in headlights. But yeah, that doesn't excuse guys who won't take no for an answer, the ones that throw something akin to a tantrum or become angry and potentially threatening. I'm mostly white. Pale as hell, look all white…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 04:07 PM
134

I'm gonna say this as a woman, so I'll probably catch hell from both sides, but I have experience in both approaching men and being approached. Is there an issue that some guys approach at terrible times and also men who approach and don't take rejection well? We all know it happens and it can vary from being just another moment to a minor irritation to a genuinely dangerous situation from the woman's point of view. Which has led to many discussions and arguments and suggestions varying from nev…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 02:34 AM
1

I clicked on the IQ link in the study but I didn't see anything there or in the article that discussed anything about testing methods like the type of IQ test used, number of people tested, etc. "It is right to measure abstract reasoning capacity but it is a mistake to think of the ability and willingness to engage in abstract reasoning as divorced from a number of important concrete cultural realities. Some cultures must emphasize the practical here-and-now of day-to-day survival over the what-…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:35 PM
-1

This became pretty racist fairly quickly. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/01/100121155220.htm the study you're referencing was debunked. I don't know if you're familiar with immigration policies but you have to (and this has been in place) meet certain requirements and then be approved before being allowed to live here with status, and most have to have an underlying basis like immediate family or employment sponsorship. Since 2015 both birth rates and immigration to US have been decl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:01 PM
3

I disagree to an extent. I think sex is a way we fulfill certain psychological needs sometimes but I don't think sex itself is a need. You can have sex and still become bitter towards the opposite sex. I can see why thinking nobody is sexually attracted to you would be harmful to self esteem. I know a handful of virgins over the age of 25 - 3 men, 2 women. For them, it's not that sex is an impossibility; they just haven't wanted to have sex with the people who have expressed interest in them. On…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 07:16 AM
2

Thank you for your thoughtful reply as well. I can see why you would want leave. I've posted this before, but if I did not know truly good men in the real world, this sub would definitely taint my opinion of men (from how some of the men talk about women). But for me, I don't see this as necessarily reflective of the world, although it can point out valid issues. If, however, I only focused on my negative interactions with men and then came here, it would be a very dark rabbit hole indeed (not s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 06:30 AM
1

Neither. Nobody owes anyone sex. I do, however, know a couple of women who buy into the whole men always want sex thing, so when they are rejected, if it was something casual, they externalize it more (something wrong with him) but if it's a relationship, they internalize it more (something wrong with me). I don't do random hook ups, so I can't speak to getting rejected in that sense, I can say that the majority of guys I've rejected who were very clear that that's what they wanted took it well …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 05:46 AM
3

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/what-physiological-changes-can-explain-honeymoon-phase-relationship/ Here's a brief discussion of studies on the physiological stages that can occur. I have a couple of friends who are psychologists - one man, one woman - and we've discussed this a few times. From what they tell me, essentially certain chemicals are released in the early phase of the relationship, and a theory is that it happens so people might be more forgiving of certain traits to enc…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 05:14 AM
1

I reviewed some that weren't pay to read. And reviewed the abstract on the others. I glanced over lizard studies but...lizard studies. Although now I've finally realized where the lizard brain comments likely stem from, so thanks for that bit of enlightenment. So the main study seems to be a study of 128 (or 124? I can't recall) women involving women's attraction to traits considered the dark triad. It seems interesting...it also is a small study. It also doesn't mean that women aren't attracted…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:46 AM
1

I can see why it is. Sure, some people are going to be more successful at dating, casual sex, whatever, I get that. I get that conventionally attractive people will almost always do better online dating than non, at least when attracting people initially. I agree, this sub in general, and I guess others that use these terms (I dunno, if I find this one appalling sometimes I don't see myself enjoying the others) lose nuance to better generalize but I still hate the idea of categorizing people lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 04:13 AM
3

I really dislike the idea - one I was unaware of before this sub - of low value people. But I see a lot of reinforcement of it by both sides here. It's a shitty way to look at people.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:57 AM
3

I stumbled into PPD not really knowing what it was. I've stayed, partially for the sheer fuckery of it all, partially because occasionally there is genuine discussion, although I don't hold my breath in the hope that minds are being changed. Dating can suck. People can be shitty. If you want to find someone that can validate your worst opinion of the opposite sex, you (general use, not you specifically), you will, both irl and online. Because shitty people, both men and women, exist. Someone is …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 03:43 AM
0

You said relationships where the woman is the breadwinner or responsibility is shared 50/50 are rare. At least 1/3 of married women in the US are the breadwinner. 1/3 isn't rare. 60% are dual income. That's shared responsibilities. How are you getting to your 50/50 argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/20 12:28 AM
2

Most families are dual income families. Around 60% https://www.pewresearch.org/ft_dual-income-households-1960-2012-2/ About a third of US women bring in more income than their husbands. https://www.prb.org/moreuswomenoutearningtheirhusbands/ So, in the US at least, it's not really rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/20 02:05 AM
1

And now I'm confused.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 04:55 AM
3

Haven't strolled into FDS yet so I'm going purely based on your post. I have a core group of friends, both women and men, and four of us are women. The other five are guys. When we women do get together and talk and men come up, it's rarely a men bashing fest. We know plenty of really good guys. If we do bash on a guy, it's usually one individual, after a break up, if he messed up (couple of cheaters, one became violent, etc). We might talk about guys that have hit on more than one of us in a di…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 03:23 AM
2

Most of the couples I know have lifestyles where both partners work. I only know 5 couples where only one partner works. 2 are traditional men work, women stay home with the kids. One guy is seriously unhappy. His wife wants the luxury of staying at home but also a nanny and for him to spend more time at home. They aren't quite to that point and he's considering a divorce. He feels pulled in several directions and thinks they aren't compatible. The other is super happy. His wife takes care of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 02:48 AM
3

I, and most of the women I know, want a guy with manners when we're looking. One that holds the door open for people, not just women. He doesn't have to pay for everything. We all usually split dinners or do something where he buys dinner but we get the drinks after on dates. Someone dependable without having to have us be dependent on him. We all have different tastes in guys, but a lot of the basics are the same. Assholes are a dime a dozen. Not hard to find, not hard to get but not worth spen…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 02:20 AM
1

I don't know, I don't know a lot of women that think that. Some guys are more attracted because of it but if a guy isn't attracted to me in the first place, me waving a degree at him isn't going to reel him in.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 07:13 AM
1

My first catcalling experience was around 11. I was pumping gas for my mom. I was mortified. Compliments are fine. I'll say thanks to a random, respectful compliment any day of the week. That's nice. The guy that drove up next to me while I was walking my friend's dog last week and said, "You don't need to walk, that ass already looks good. Let me give you a ride and a ride," and then proceeded to trail me for a block...not so nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 06:08 AM
2

I go back and forth with this. I definitely see the point. I know here you can terminate rights but it still is a court process. I can almost get on board with it, although it sucks for the kid. But in reality, I've seen some people go through some crazy lengths not to pay child support and if a guy doesn't want to be a father, he won't be (and vice versa). My concern isn't really with the guys who find out a woman is pregnant and want out. I thought I wanted to go into the medical field for awh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 05:20 AM
2

I caught my godson about to chow down on dog poop once. It really is everything. That's why they make them cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 05:00 AM
2

I worked in a daycare. The stuff I had to pull out of their mouths. Once it was a grasshopper. A giant, chewed up grasshopper.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 04:45 AM
2

That first one must have been good then.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 04:33 AM
2

Awkward silence while both thinking the other doesn't like them because they're too nice. Side hug at the end of a lackluster meal. Both returning home to their computers to dissect the date online and complain about the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 04:29 AM
2

Ok, but all you're telling me is that Chad is a multitasking overachiever while the other dude just accessorizes. Kidding. Obviously (hopefully). Disagree but you paint an unfortunately descriptive picture.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 04:09 AM
1

Agreed. It sounded like he helped her take the proper steps and whatnot. Just sounds like he needed time to process. It's one thing knowing your partner has a past, seeing that past isn't easy. Nobody is at fault but the shitty ex, nobody else in that situation deserves the hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 03:32 AM
2

Tbf cheetos and tendies are both pretty tasty.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/20 02:38 AM
3

"More humble." Clearly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/20 01:40 AM
7

There was a post on this sub the other day essentially advocating for women to lose rights and go back to having be dependent on men, as well as making divorce harder to get, so that men who typically don't have options can have more options again. I agree that more than looks matter. Personality plays a huge factor, or at least it does in my real life experience, but here it gets shrugged off pretty easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 03:00 AM
7

Yeah, my real world experience has shown me guys that aren't conventionally attractive that are employed who have good personalities do fine. One of my guy friends hits about every traditional negative looks-wise - he's short, fat, bald, and has gap teeth - has an ok job, and regularly dates women far more conventionally attractive than he is. But he's confident and charming and everyone adores him. Personality factors in so much but a lot of guys in this sub tend to ignore that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 02:32 AM
1

I've seen your comments around and I usually disagree with them, but this one did make me laugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 02:24 AM
13

There was a good post on another sub that was essentially, "Imagine your perfect partner (or soul mate or whatever). Now imagine you were told you were going to meet in 5 hours." It was about if you'd feel ready then, if you felt like it would take longer to be ready, like 5 days or weeks or whatnot, somewhere along those lines. And something about how the things you'd want to work on are the things you should be working on. Just a long post to say you're right and your post reminded me of that …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/20 02:21 AM
1

They still get to see the kids on the regular, which is the most important part. I think a lot of people are addressing issues that are pretty dated. Divorce is rough in general, but that divorce rape narrative I see on here a lot is pretty misleading and not indicative of what I see on a regular basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 06:10 PM
3

Again, speaking to my state, you have to mess up pretty badly (drugs, abuse) or just flat out not want joint custody to not get joint custody. Joint is essentially the default. The parent the kids live with the most gets the child support. Outside a handful of truly terrible divorces, most people agree pretty easily about where the kids will live in my experience. More kids (again, speaking to my experience) end up living with mom and visiting dad, but that's usually what the parties figure out.…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 12:08 PM
3

https://www.divorcemag.com/articles/percentage-of-men-awarded-spousal-support-increasing. There are a few articles about it and one link.I posted in another thread about most married couples being two income households from Pew, which would make it extremely difficult (at least in my state) to get spousal maintenance. Divorce looks very different than it used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 11:20 AM
2

I addressed this in another comment, but that's not exactly the case. I know I'm talking my state specifically, but there are requirements that have to be met for spousal maintenance and they are very limiting. Most cases we see, the parties are on fairly equal footing - usually both work, typical assets (home, couple cars, etc), which are then divided during the divorce. Out of the three cases in the past year that qualified for spousal maintenance, two were women that were granted it and one w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 03:50 AM
12

I can only speak to my state, but there isn't a really any guarantee of money or resources. For alimony to be an option, certain requirements must be met. I work in a law firm and family law is part of the practice, unfortunately. In the last year we've probably finished up 30 divorces and three people were able to receive spousal maintenance (alimony). One was a guy. If you add kids, then yeah, most likely someone will pay child support. You also don't have to be married to get child support. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/20 03:02 AM
1

One of them, yes, and they're doing fine. The other had been talking to another girl casually when I introduced him to my friend, and they got along well, but it has gotten more serious with the other woman so he's doing that right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/20 03:51 PM
3

I see the 80/20 figure thrown around a lot, and I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong, that figure seems to have come from studies utilizing data from online dating sites. If that's the case, sticking to the 18-29 age range (before women start jumping walls and whatnot, apparently) about half of Americans in that range use online dating. And it looks to be a tiny bit more male heavy than female, but just a smidge. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/02/06/10-facts-about-americans-…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/20 02:34 AM
1

That's why I said for guys who do better in person than online. Our parks here have been full of people and not just people with kids. And river floating and water activities have always been popular during the summer but I bet even more people will be getting outside more this year when they do get out, if the activity now is anything to go by.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 10:14 PM
5

I think it's going to be by area. In mine, people are going to have to socially distance themselves because places have already started reopening and people are going. Parks were super active. I had to go to the store on Saturday and I got stuck in traffic near two parks. People had been finding work arounds - a lot of people are meeting in front yards and all that. Yeah, I think it will change interactions. I don't plan on going to see live music right away. But maybe these guys that aren't as …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/20 03:54 PM
23

Caring, healthy fathers (and parents in general) see their children as people and want them to have what they perceive as the best life possible. If you love someone and want them to be happy, you don't want them to be with someone that sees them as inferior, someone that looks to manipulate them, someone that can't comprehend individuality. They also want their kids to fulfill their potential and experience life. I know quite a few amazing guys out in the real world. The danger with quarantine …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 11:13 PM
1

It was. It was also a ton of fun. We'd dance to all types of music, order pizza when we got hungry and.laugh and talk, then go back to dancing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 02:50 PM
1

There are a couple places I've been that had mixed scenes where I could escape and truly chill for a bit if I needed to. I'm not really a dance all night on a regular basis kinda person. The most fun I've had are at a couple EDM shows and a guy who took me to latin places to try to learn bachata. But my favorite dancing involved nights was when I was with a guy who loved music and dancing but didn't need a crowd or scene to do it. So he'd set up a dance night (move some furniture, set up some li…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 02:23 PM
1

I don't really have a type, so the guys I've dated have all been pretty different from each other and sometimes from me. The commonalities I shared with LTRs are open mindedness, having hobbies (although not always the same ones), good sense of humor, kinda goofy, capable of a good conversation. I've learned I don't mesh well with guys who don't enjoy downtime, and the ones that when they do go out want to constantly go to trendy or fancy places. Getting dressed up and going to certain places so…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 06:24 AM
1

Eh, we'd split the date. Whether it's half and half or he gets dinner, I get drinks kinda thing. I'd be irritated if someone expected me to pay for a date just because tradition, I don't do that to others. The rest would make it more likely there would be future sex (I don't work on a set timeline but I also won't have sex with someone I just met). Many dudes can come across well on a first date but don't necessarily keep that vibe going forward.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 05:38 AM
2

Right? A build up getting to know someone and wanting that person is way better imo. There isn't a set timeline for it although, for me, it's definitely not happening within the first couple of dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 05:24 AM
6

That's state specific (the alimony, and family law in general). A lot of people don't qualify for alimony in my state and the default is joint custody with the parent they live with the most getting child support. I work in a firm that also does family law so I unfortunately see a lot of this stuff. In my state,you have to mess up pretty big or just not want time with the kids for there not to be joint. I agree with your main post to a point. Superficiality has always been a thing but now it's e…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 04:35 AM
0

When a guy friend asks me about dating, I clarify if he genuinely wants advice about dating or if he wants advice about hooking up with women. For me, dating implies testing (not quite the right word, but it works) potentials for a long term connection, hooking up (just to be clear) is having casual sex. My advice is going to look different for those two different scenarios. Then dating advice in general is going to look different than dating advice for a specific person if I'm somewhat familiar…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/20 02:26 AM
1

I make the comparison because it was brought up in OPs post. My premise is that you can't force sexual attraction. It might develop over time due to other factors besides looks but initial sexual attraction is very much based on physical preferences. Can that suck for people that fall outside what the majority of men or women finds physically attractive? Yes. Is it unfair? It definitely is. Not fair to judge a guy for a height he can't change, not fair to judge a person for a face they were born…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 04:42 PM
1

That was my last post in a discussion with another commenter. My original reply to the post doesn't really conflict with yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 02:08 PM
2

As a woman, it's not really an either/or thing. Both can work or fail. The warm approach I think may have a higher success rate if you're appropriately gauging interest just because you have a longer amount of time to do so and build a connection. Cold approach can work, and I don't even need a guy to be super confident to do it. A little nervousness won't put me off, it's all about the interaction. I had a guy approach me at a music venue, obviously nervous but we had seen each other off and on…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 06:05 AM
3

Truth. This sub can be be entertaining in the wtf kinda way but I don't get this obsession with a person's (women's, specifically) sexual past, cock-eyed stares or whatever, and other so-called indicators. If you have a good connection, enjoy that person's personality, and like who they have become, what does it matter if she was with people prior to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 05:41 AM
2

That's interesting. I'd like to see how they' defined sexual openness but I'm unwilling to pay for it. But thanks for linking a real source.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 05:20 AM
14

Return of Kings isn't a reputable source. I fact checked one of the articles about women with tattoos and promiscuity once - they had the studies linked. However, most of the studies were about men and dated, and particularly about men with PTSD. The birth control one isn't even an indicator. Many women get on birth control due to other conditions. I've been on birth control since middle school and I didn't have sex until after high school. One of my friends is a virgin and also on it due to a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 05:11 AM
1

I'm sorry you've had that experience. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but as an above average height woman, guys around my height give or take a couple of inches are the norm. Same for my taller friends. It's honestly guys that make more comments about it than the women in my circle. And more guys that are willing to not even consider dating a woman based on looks than the women. But I have quite a few guy friends that treat me like one of them so I hear a lot of stuff. I can tell you, as a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 04:59 AM
4

That may be true, I dunno the data behind it. The short guys I know who do fine with women arguably have just as many opportunities, if not more so, than the average overweight woman because they have what I call tall personalities. I don't think of them as short, probably because they don't see it as a defining characteristic. I've a couple of short guy friends that initially the women I tried to hook them up with said they weren't sure about dating guys that much shorter than they were (think …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 04:43 AM
4

They are. Are there dudes that date overweight women? Sure. Just like there are women that date short dudes. I was reading a whole post that started with tall women love that turned into a bunch of women commenters saying how much they enjoyed short guys just this morning. But it's not every woman that feels that way, just like every man won't be attracted to an overweight woman. There are a ton of guys out there that say "no fatties" just like there are women who say no short guys. I would say …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/20 04:28 AM
2

I enjoy words and listening to someone who speaks well but not to someone who thinks replacing perfectly good words with flowery ones and attempting to enact some sort of Shakespearean speech pattern makes an elegant speaker. For me, in everyday life, elegant speakers are articulate speakers who may not use the showiest words but know the words they use and use them well. A lot of attempts at so-called elegant speaking are rendered ridiculous because people are using flowery words they don't ful…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/20 04:16 PM
1

I'll use an example. I was talking to a guy going through a hard time. Had a degree but trouble finding a job with that degree. I'm sure people can relate. Was working retail and hated it. He thought he was too good for the job, looked down on his coworkers and despised customer interactions. He felt discouraged, disappointed, and anxious. Him revealing that didn't bother me. His job didn't bother me. What did bother me, over time (and I'm talking almost a year) was him not being proactive. He w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 04:17 AM
1

I would hope more would. I'm sure there would be a stigma attached to the decision, like there are in some circles regarding abortion, but there are enough neglected, abused, or unwanted children in the system (you can look at then online, like the way they post puppies needing a home, it's depressing). Forcing people to be parents doesn't do anyone any favors.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 02:43 AM
1

Ah ok. Sometimes I see posts from guys saying (and have known guys who say) that men should get to decide if a woman carries to term or not so I'm careful about what aspects I agree with. It gets said to women too, unfortunately. It doesn't do anything to help the situation on either side. But I get your point. I know people would be against it but I'm firmly pro choice for women and I think that with that should also come some sort of choice for men. Not whether or not she gives birth but wheth…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 02:27 AM
1

I get what you're saying and I agree...mostly. As in I agree a guy should be able to terminate rights pre-birth and in process that would simply involve filing (for unmarried partners). But I don't think the opposite should be a thing, where the guy should be able to stop a woman from getting an abortion. I can feel for a guy in that situation but I can't ever be on board with forced births. Haha it might stop a lot of sex before it started!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/20 12:12 AM
1

It varies across states and I can't speak to other states. If I remember right you can't do it within the first 48 hours after birth (it usually involves a judge and they don't like to waste time on something that may not go to term). They still consider the best interest of the child in a voluntary relinquishment. Enforcement across the board is a pain in general. But I know that here if a father has even the slightest desire to be in the child's life, unless he repeatedly messes up, the court …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/20 11:09 PM
3

Men are expected to provide for the child if they want to be part of the child's life. They can terminate their parental rights if they don't want to be part of the child's life and pay support. Men can choose to stay or walk away. Happens all the time. I used to work in a homeless youth shelter and parents terminated rights often enough that it was fairly common.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/20 09:57 PM
2

I doubt your sample size and you doubt my veracity so we're unlikely to get anywhere. Maybe it's your area or the people you associate with. Definitely not across the board.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/20 06:23 PM
1

Nope, I imagine that's not fun either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/20 04:09 PM
2

Really? You personally have heard this line from women and then know that these women later gave men blowjobs in the bathroom? Or you read some shit online? Because I've seen a lot of dudes on here saying they hear women say stuff who don't actually seem to know many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/20 04:06 PM
2

Yeah, every woman has a past. No, that past does not always include hooking up with random dudes. Do some women have that experience? Definitely (I personally don't care but from what I've seen a lot of guys on here do for reasons). But I've literally never hooked up with a stranger and I won't because sexual attraction doesn't work like that for me (and for a few of my friends). I look at attractive guys like pretty pictures. They're nice to look at but I don't think (and I'm not saying all wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/20 06:47 AM
1

Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 07:52 PM
1

Not so much about it just being a lot of behaviors that liberal women don't like. Considering that the first DSM was published in the 1950s (I think personality disorders were known as character disorders then and seen more as deviance), I think it's unlikely that a bunch of liberal women had their hands in it. But I agree on the misdiagnoses. They can present differently in men and women and we're only starting to learn more about these differences. The research in how ASPD presents in men and …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 07:20 PM
2

Up until recent years, it was thought that women suffered from BPD more than men. They were diagnosed more and represented more, but within the past few years they're realizing that there is no difference in prevalence by gender. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3115767/#idm140342886413520title https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-12370-004 I'm on mobile, sorry about the links.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 06:56 PM
5

Not a lot but probably some. I want to say it isn't at all because it's not hard to run across someone willing to have sex with me (yes, I'm a woman). But I also know I could be a mute, balding cyclops the size of a house and some dudes would still be down. And it would.be crazy to tie my self worth to something like that. Because someone being attracted to a woman doesn't do shit for me. Someone attracted to me (not just that I have a body) makes things different. Me being sexually attracted to…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 12:26 PM
2

Very valid point. Maybe I'll start wading into the bullshit more often. From what I've seen, I could be wading for days tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 03:14 AM
1

You're brave for replying. Most of the time I don't even know where to start. A lot of posters seem to have very fixed ideas about men and women that I start to reply and then I'm like, nah, fuck it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 03:00 AM
2

Definitely. Most of the time I just mutter what the fuck, gotta be kidding me...but it's entertaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 02:52 AM
1

I didn't really know what this sub was initially. Now I stay for the fuckery of it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 02:48 AM
2

Yeah, I'm not being rude but what are FDS and pickmeshas? I'd google but I get nervous about googling stuff related to dating, sex, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/20 02:17 AM
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