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justAnAccount5432 Archive

View 1 posts and 36 comments by justAnAccount5432 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

justAnAccount5432/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 07:45 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Is she stable? Would it be good for the kids to see her?
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 11:17 PM
3

Yes, we separated for about 5 months and then reconciled. Stayed together for another 5 years, but it ended the same way. I don’t regret those 5 years, but I think I knew it wouldnt last and was only a matter of time if I’m being honest with myself. You can only break something so many times before the integrity of it is lost.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 01:59 AM
1

Tbh, if I could start at the beginning again I would not have hired an attorney at all and just used an AI for advice and to draft up my initial counterclaim. I know it sounds crazy, but this is the world now and it would have worked fine for me. I payed thousands for a retainer and my attorney didn’t do much of anything other than make my coparenting relationship with the ex harder. I won’t go into detail there other than say that his communication with her attorney just poked the bear and stir…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 02:04 PM
3

You might like her, but she’s not compatible with you. You already know how it’s going to end. Better to cut early this time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 01:19 PM
2

Regarding your pending divorce… the courts usually only consider the child’s wishes around custody when they are older. Your kids are too young and it shouldn’t even come up. If it does you can bring up your concerns that they’re being coached by mom then and it doesn’t look good for her case.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 01:12 PM
2

You can’t really do anything except take care of them the best you are able to when they’re with you. Treat their mom with respect, both in the way that you talk to them, and in the way you communicate with her. Keep your conversations centered around what’s best for your kids. Easier said than done sometimes, but you are still raising kids together. The only thing you can control is yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 01:06 PM
2

It’s a process for your kids too. You have your process with the divorce, and they are going to have theirs. There’s a lot they won’t understand initially, so expect it to be something they unwind over a longer period of time. My 10 year old didn’t seem to mind when we moved into separate houses, but realizing that we weren’t all going to go camping together this summer, like we do every year, was something that she felt…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 12:58 PM
3

??? Cause he’s still in the emotionally messy phase of separation and it’s complicated.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 12:49 PM
2

You can try to for an amicable divorce, but probably won’t get it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 09:03 PM
15

What kept me going when Ive felt the urge to self delete is realizing that my kids wouldn’t know what happened and it would be a trauma they’d have to process…. And they’d only have their mom’s perspective to try and make sense of it with. My x doesn’t have to like or understand me… but my kids love me, and I’m going to make sure they always know how much I love them.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 05:40 PM
1

Unmarried, no kids, house in your name… OP, the jeep Cherokee means nothing. If I could give myself advice years ago when my relationship was that simple I’d say trust your gut and gtfo. We’re splitting now, 15 years later, 2 kids and a mortgage… despite my best efforts to be amicable and upright, it got dark really fast. She’s BPD too, which means everything is my fault and all the abuse I suffered was really me abusing her the whole time. She’s cleared my bank account and dirtied my name. Trus…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:14 AM
8

Spent mine in court with the ex this morning tbh. What a day…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 10:17 PM
6

Are we still just talking about women? This is some sage advice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 11:01 PM
1

Same situation here. Feels like I could have written the post word for word, only I’m a few months ahead in the process. We’ve been separated a little over 3 months now. I haven’t gone to court yet, our initial hearing has been extended, so I don’t know what the outcome is. Been very conflicted about the whole process. I know I am the kids primary parent and should have custody… but my argument is sensitive and will have to bring up my exes mental instability, which I don’t want to do. Not sure …
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 01:54 PM
1

There’s a few of us here with this story. I don’t think unraveling a BPD relationship is something that can make sense to anyone that hasn’t lived it. I don’t think continuing to have sex with an ex is automatically a bad thing so long as intentions are understood and boundaries are respected… in your case though it’s probably gonna keep you stuck on that emotional rollercoaster that you need to be getting off of now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 05:23 PM
7

I’m trying to be, but am finding it’s not healthy for either of us. Not sure how things will pan out long term. It’s been about 3 months since the separation. Every time we start texting friendly, seeing each other on friendly terms, etc. things start to spiral and we’re both back on the roller coaster. There’s just too much hurt on both sides. It’s hard to maintain a new relationship that is close, but separate. Doesn’t help that we both still love each other… we just weren’t healthy for each o…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 05:39 PM
1

Have you seen her transfer it to the kids? If so you can document that. If she isn’t abusive to the kids though I don’t think having any diagnosis matters to a court assuming she’s still able to function as a parent.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 09:27 PM
-1

Wasn’t sure what PMDD was so I looked it up. Honestly… sounds like a made up label to explain a common thing. I don’t think you’ll get very far pushing this in a custody case tbh. Just my opinion
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 07:05 PM
7

You yourself admit to being too sour to be a positive father figure. That is 100% on you though.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:11 PM
5

The guy who can’t be bothered to watch his kids receive their presents, or spend time with them at the arcade… telling us he hasn’t been idle?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:01 PM
2

Just curious, you raising girls or boys? If the former, your wife’s perspective might carry some insights you’re not aware of. You don’t have to have the same perspective and parenting style either to raise a healthy kid (you shouldn’t imo). You’re their father, you speak to them in a masculine voice and expect accountability. That’s normal, it’s good. Their mothers voice might offer something different. Doesn’t have to be a non negotiable issue if you’re both able to respect each others role in…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 03:02 AM
4

You have the right attitude. I can relate to a lot of what you’ve said and am at a similar stage of my separation. 100% you need move in a way that protects your future. The degree to which an amicable divorce is still possible is not something you are able to control. You can continue to show up in a respectful way, but you can’t let the process disrespect you. Be true to yourself
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 02:21 AM
2

Oh man, hearing you guys say OP is still early in the process after 16 months is demoralizing af to me. I’m 3 months in, pushing 40… I don’t have time for this shit.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 03:58 AM
1

So tell him you want to be exclusive to him, then be exclusive to him. Leave it at that. He’ll make his own decision from there, but if he’s a decent guy and sees your value he will reciprocate
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:40 AM
5

Yes, I think my wife leaving was part of a midlife crisis. She burned the boats on her way out though. Impossible to reconcile if ever she has a come to Jesus moment. It’s something I worry about tbh. She is impulsive and thinks in black and white, has thrown in the towel and come back again… many times. It’s part of why it was so hard for me to accept that it’s over. For real this time? It’s over though.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 03:30 AM
1

Real?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 04:15 AM
3

I started smoking again too. Quit for a solid ten years before separating. Not great, but still guess it’s true to where I’m at right now
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/24 09:27 PM
3

Yeah, idk. I’m going through it too. 15 years, two kids. A month before she left she told me she felt like our relationship was better than it’s ever been. I thought it was good too. Everyone says it gets better, and it probably does, but I think it’s still gonna hurt forever.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 10:34 PM
4

Feel all the things you need to feel, but don’t try to process it with her. You won’t get the answers you’re looking for and it will only make things worse between you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 02:19 AM
1

It’s up to you to be someone they can need in their life dude. Not trying to be an ass, but you’re a father. If your kids go through life without ever feeling like they can turn to you when they need to, it’s a failure that cuts deep.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 11:22 PM
2

I stuck out some really hard years when my wife was going through mental health crisis(s). Was rough, saw a lot of change and thought we moved past it, but we still ended up splitting 10 years later. You can check my post history for more of the story, but the hard years broke the relationship in a way that she was never going to be able to heal from with me. Probably best to cut out early tbh, I knew I should have at the time, but I just wanted to be with my kids while they were still babies.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 10:03 PM
2

Women need to feel validated, and people bend to accommodate that. Her therapists job is to validate whatever feelings she brings to the session. Her female friends will validate whatever feelings she talks to them about. Her family, obviously, will stand by her side in an effort to support what she’s going through. This shouldn’t affect you. Gotta find a way to brush it off. She’s getting what she needs from the world by telling her story, but it’s not your story. Don’t get confused. You can va…
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 03:55 AM
1

Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about this. My life is an open book again after ending this 15 year chapter. I have no connection to where I live now… except for my kids. I have a very close relationship with them and know they need me, so I will be here, but the occasional trip around the world for a few weeks every once in a while is very exciting to me. After they are grown (10 and 13 now) I will probably leave the state I’m in now.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:42 PM
1

Same situation here. It’s like the rug got pulled out from under me. I lost my identity to my relationship and it’s probably a big part of what caused the separation. No friends, and no family close by. I was a father, husband, and provider. It was my whole life and I did a good job at that, but am struggling now to find my place in the world now that everything’s fallen apart. Hope it gets better. I joined the volunteer fire department this last year so I’m not a complete shut in because otherw…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 10:52 PM
1

just take care of yourself. if all your efforts with her are being met with anger, its probably because she doesn't like the place you are coming from. try to stop caring so much about her needs and feelings and focus on your own instead. I bet her tone will change when that happens.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 01:29 PM
2

I can speak to this; my wife had severe depression and ADHD which really manifested around the time our kids were born. It took both of us a long time to realize how bad things had gotten and that she needed help, but she did eventually get very serious about tending to her mental health. Started taking medications, therapy, intensive CBT groups… and hospital stays when it was really bad. It was a journey that she grew a lot from and something I admire about her. Things did change, and the blowo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/24 12:38 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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