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justdontsashay Archive

View 1 post and 1,404 comments by justdontsashay on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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19

You think there should be a celebration of sexual maturity, that involves the whole family? Not of reaching adulthood or a certain age that’s culturally significant, but of literal puberty? I think adults should absolutely not make children’s sexual development into a public event.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:35 PM
57

Some cultures have coming of age celebrations for boys as well (bar mitzvah, etc). Celebrating puberty is a total ick, though, if there had been a whole family event about it when I got my period, I would have died of embarrassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:06 PM
7

I’m a woman. I enjoy some porn and can be pretty fucking vulgar sometimes. I’m happy not everyone has your same requirements, it sounds like a pretty boring world if everyone was just all pure and innocent or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:20 AM
20

This is such a weird and depressing take, and makes me so thankful I’m with a guy who gets enjoyment out of making me cum. Which is how it’s supposed to be, sex is better when each person cares about the other’s pleasure…I can get myself off in like a minute if I want to, for me the point of sex isn’t my own orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 11:55 AM
13

I would leave. And it would fuck me up a lot, because I truly can’t picture him cheating, so it would mean I’m completely wrong about who he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 02:02 AM
11

For real. My dad is amazing, and he is technically my step dad. I guarantee he never saw it as “raising someone else’s kids,” I’m just his daughter. Some of the people in this sub are just so depressing, I’m glad it’s just weird little corners of the internet and most people aren’t like that!
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 09:15 PM
2

Someone charismatic who is also kind is the best case scenario…I’m not sure why the posts here tend to imply that a man can either be kind, or be enjoyable to hang out with, but not both. But yeah, I would have thought this is pretty obvious. Kindness is a quality people look for in a long term partner, but it is not a quality that builds initial attraction. Being fun and charismatic does help build attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 12:03 AM
12

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a portrayal of autistic guys as demisexual, this isn’t a perception that women have. Generally, many autistic guys haven’t learned the masking social skills that autistic girls learn from an early age, and can come off creepy or aggressive, due to weird eye contact, getting in someone’s personal space, and not picking up on non-verbal cues that you’re making someone uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 12:03 AM
–

I haven’t dealt with it in that direction (where the guy’s libido is higher) Definitely could be an age thing, I’m old lol (mid-40s). A lot of guys my age (which is generally where I date, within a few years of my age) get insecure if they make less or know less than a woman. Definitely not all, though, so I’ve just learned not to really bother with men who want some dumbed down version of me
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:33 AM
–

The sex part varies so much based on the individual people. But I feel like it’s important in any relationship that I make him feel sexy and desired, and focus on pleasing him sexually. And in a good relationship, that goes both ways. The behavior that comes to mind as something I haven’t really wanted to conform to is playing dumb. It’s a message I got quite a bit when I was growing up, that I should kind of downplay intelligence and hide it if I did well in school and stuff, because guys want …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:18 AM
–

Society has expectations (for how I should look, what role I should play in the relationship, etc). I can choose whether I actually listen to it, though. I happen to kind of like some of the expectations, because they’re what I naturally do in a relationship. I like to cook for my man, I’m a bit naturally submissive. The only things I would consider expectations that I really should meet or the relationship won’t be good are: - emotional support, listening when he needs to vent, trying to find l…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:53 AM
–

If I got cheated on I wouldn’t feel ashamed, I’d be sad/angry and the relationship would be over. So I’m not sure how to answer your question, since the premise is completely incorrect for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:23 AM
3

Which is basically what I was saying, about how the people who rant in this sub about empathy don’t seem to have a good grasp on what it means.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:10 AM
3

Read the OP. He did in fact say empathize lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 02:50 AM
15

The men I’ve seen here begging for “empathy” don’t fully understand what that means. What they usually are asking for is agreement (that women are on “easy mode,” and that having more access to meaningless casual sex is a privilege that we should value) I have empathy for men who are lonely and struggle with dating. I have annoyance, not empathy, for the ones who can’t comprehend their own role in their lack of success, and lash out at women because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:13 PM
26

No one is asking you to empathize. But if you’re not able to comprehend someone else’s experience, don’t ask for anyone to empathize with your experience either (men online are the ones asking for “empathy” for their dating woes. By which they usually mean agreement that everything is women’s fault lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:04 PM
–

That doesn’t sound class-related, it sounds like you know one group of women and your mom’s friend, and are assuming they represent everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:34 PM
–

Yeah, but why? Some of the men here like to do this annoying style of “debate” where you ask questions trying to lead women to whatever you’re trying to say, rather than just saying it. I prefer to discuss things as if we’re both adults. If you have a point you’d like to make about how class relates to your post, please just make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:54 PM
–

What class are you assuming I am, based on the couple sentences I wrote there? This is a strange conversation
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:19 PM
–

…what does that question have to do with anything in your post or my comment? What a weird leap
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:07 PM
–

Fairly sure that a majority of women prefer well-written character dramas over superhero movies. And the rest of the post seems as out of touch with how women think as the movie analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:04 PM
–

Same height as me is really, really short. 5 inches shorter is…not a height I even see on women lol. Neither of those men are men I personally would be attracted to, so I would probably date neither.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 12:03 AM
12

If you already knew, then why post it as if you didn’t know?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 01:27 PM
16

Gender identity matters, too. I’m attracted to men who identify as men and have fully male bodies. If someone was born female and identifies as male, I respect that and I’ll use their correct pronouns, I just only am sexually attracted to male bodies so that’s what I prefer to date. If someone has male anatomy but their gender identity is something else, I’m not going to want to date them, since I’m straight.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 08:45 PM
28

If he meets all of my expectations and I’m happy with him, why would I care about what his previous girlfriend’s expectations were?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:56 PM
2

Not sure how anything I’ve said could be seen as ranting lol By engage with the actual discussion, do you mean go along with the false premise and try to debate from there? I’m debating the premise itself, because 1) you (and some other men on here) are hearing context that isn’t there in the “advice” you’re getting, and 2) as evidenced by your reference to movies and TV shows aimed at young men, the messages you’re talking about aren’t even coming from women a lot of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:10 PM
3

I would not get into a relationship with a man who is unable to function as an adult and take care of himself (and I wouldn’t want a man who expected so little of me, either) If I’m in a long term relationship and something happens where he is no longer able to work the same amount or something, then we would work that out together and I would be ok taking on that role (as long as he’s contributing in other ways). But I wouldn’t intentionally enter a relationship where I knew that would be the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:04 PM
0

I am speaking of things I have very literally seen guys do, almost daily (hearing “looks aren’t everything” and understanding it to mean something different). You are literally doing that here lol TV and movies aimed at young men…are you blaming women for the messages there? Because I promise it’s not women in charge of directing most of that stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 08:00 PM
1

I mean, are they being told that by their moms or grandmas who think they’re perfect? Or are you saying that this is advice that people are giving to random guys? I don’t really see all this “advice” you speak of, but what I have seen really frequently is exactly what you’re demonstrating in this thread…where someone will try to say that looks aren’t everything, that women’s attraction can be based on more than just the purely physical, and guys with no sense of nuance will somehow take that to …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:55 PM
-1

Why does the second part need to be said? If you’re hearing “looks aren’t everything” and taking it to mean “looks don’t matter at all, just be a good guy” then you’re hearing something that’s not being said.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 07:48 PM
1

That shit isn’t mainstream at all. “Pink pill” isn’t some widespread movement or something
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 06:17 PM
5

Most women I know are good with a man having a stable job with enough income to support himself. That’s really different than someone with no money, which is what you said in your comment. A certain type of women will only date multimillionaires…if that’s who you want to date, then yeah. Make more money 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:59 PM
8

Right? Like I can’t even figure out what standard advice got twisted around to that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:41 PM
7

Nothing in the OP had anything to do with money or status, so why would I need to comment on that? Why is it always this all or nothing thing with some of the guys here? Like yeah, someone with literally no money will probably have a hard time dating. Why is that your only comparison?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:40 PM
29

Who tf says “be a man who yearns”? The rest of that sounds like you’re only hearing half of the advice, though… Looks aren’t everything…does not mean that appearance doesn’t matter. It means that to keep a woman’s interest you have to have a personality, too. Be open about your feelings early on…you have to be strategic with it, so do women. Being completely emotionally closed off will make it impossible to connect, so yeah, show a little openness and vulnerability early on so that she feels lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 04:20 PM
16

I don’t think most of us view the men who blame and hate women for their own lack of dating success as particularly “strong.”
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 03:20 AM
0

I was responding to the post that said single moms can have dating options if they’re “hot and/or very likable,” and I was saying that there are plenty of men who don’t actually see having kids as this extreme negative the way red pill likes to claim, where women would have to overcompensate in some way
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 02:04 AM
1

Not sure how you got “abrasive personality” from what I said 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 01:40 AM
2

What do you mean by my TYPICAL type (I feel like the all caps means something, but no clue what)? I have a physical type I’m more attracted to (which he fits) but also have dated guys who don’t fit that type, it’s not something make decisions based on He doesn’t have kids. And above average on the measures that guys here seem to think are the most important to women (very tall, good stable job, etc). I’m not sure what you’re asking exactly, though
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 10:17 PM
4

I don’t know, maybe that’s true for younger men? My experience has been that guys in their 40s (which is roughly the age range I’ve dated) don’t universally consider it a bad thing. Most of the men I meet either have kids of their own already, or never had kids and kind of wish they had but feel like they’re past the age where they would want to start from scratch…so me having kids ranges from neutral to positive. But I do get that guys who spend too much time reading red pill content get the im…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:49 PM
7

The men I’ve dated aren’t lacking in options. My current bf is not “below average” by any of the measures that guys here think are important. It’s just that not all men consider it a bad thing for a woman to have kids, like you don’t all have the same preferences. It’s really not that deep
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:46 PM
10

I mean, plenty of desperate men out there but this is such an odd response The reality is that a lot of men just really don’t have an issue dating someone with kids, like it’s not the “desperate” option lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 05:27 PM
24

As a single mom, just want to say that we don’t really have to be hot or very likable…most guys just seriously don’t have this weird bias against single moms, it’s just corners of the manosphere where all the hate seems to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/26 04:56 PM
21

This seems like one of those posts where you already have your opinion and just want to yell at any women who actually respond. But yes, obviously we experience love and all the human emotions. I know it’s shocking lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 05:20 AM
26

Not clicking on the link, but this seems not much different from a sugar daddy app or something. People looking for genuine connection won’t be interested in a dating app that focuses on money
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 03:19 PM
–

That’s why I don’t give advice. Just argue sometimes because it’s fun Anyone looking for actual dating/sex advice on this sub is totally on the wrong track lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:53 AM
–

Ok 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:19 AM
–

I don’t need you to explain parenting to me, don’t worry lol I understand this is what you think parenting looks like. I also, as an actual parent, am aware of what parenting actually looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:17 AM
–

If that’s what you think parenting looks like, I’d suggest not having children. Good parenting takes effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 06:09 AM
-1

…who’s asking men to take on that “burden”? None of the single moms that I know are looking for that. I fully understand why someone without kids might not want to date a single parent, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s more the hatred, or the insistence on making up weird little fantasies about how sad single moms are, that’s confusing. Like if you don’t want to date someone, just…don’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 03:27 AM
7

He did not die. He did grow into someone who wasn’t a good husband or a good father, which was very different from how he was when I decided to have kids with him. It’s not irresponsible to end a relationship that’s not working.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 02:18 AM
3

I wasn’t reproductively irresponsible lol. I chose to have kids, now I’m raising them, they’re doing great. I would absolutely never want to date a man who saw it that way. Like…that’s pretty disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:51 AM
7

I think it’s simpler than this. It’s a revenge fantasy. None of the men I’ve encountered in the real world, who just date or marry women in a normal way, have hatred for single moms or think we’re all miserable or something. The men who hate single moms are the same ones who hate women in general for not lusting after them. Believing that single motherhood is a horrible curse that’s been cast on the women who don’t want to fuck them is a coping mechanism.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:41 AM
–

I mean, plenty of married people are broke right now, too, the economy (in the us, at least) is shit. Being a single mom doesn’t mean lacking the ability to support your kids. The most broke I’ve ever been was when I was married and had a joint account, and he spent all our money.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:03 AM
–

I know other single moms as well. Most of them were also not single when they became moms, and their kids are also doing fine. I’m not an outlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 12:00 AM
–

I’m a single mom…I wasn’t single when I became a mom lol We’re not all broke, by the way, you need to talk to actual women sometimes and not just assume everything you hear in the manosphere is true. My kids are doing just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/26 11:57 PM
6

I stand by my what the fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 05:35 AM
6

What the fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 04:09 AM
5

Dude what? Choosing sexual partners based on whether you’re attracted to them is normal. Telling other people whether they’re allowed to reproduce is not. This is not hard to understand
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 04:00 AM
16

No actual intelligent debate can be had about an OP promoting some weird incel version of eugenics. So I went with the contentless rhetoric 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 03:41 AM
–

This sub is unhinged 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 03:33 AM
7

This isn’t how my thought process works, and I doubt most women process information like this either. A man who has previously dated or slept with lots of attractive women is probably physically attractive himself. His continued success with women is not because they’re thinking “oh, these other women wanted to fuck him, he must have good reviews.” They’re attracted to him for the same reasons the previous women were. A man who’s unattractive or socially awkward in a way that’s off-putting to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 03:19 PM
8

Why are you telling me I should judge more? Typically if someone is well into adulthood and still a virgin, there’s a reason, but that reason may simply be that he’s not attractive, or he has some degree of autism and has trouble connecting socially. Why would I judge someone for that? If someone has a hard time attracting women, he’s likely to continue having a hard time attracting women (unless something changes, he has a major glow up, etc) but not being attracted to him is not the same as ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 03:05 PM
31

A man’s lack (or abundance, or anything else) of experience doesn’t have an impact on my opinion of him. His attitude about it can, though. A man who views his lack of experience as women’s fault in any way is not a man I would choose to spend any time with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:01 AM
7

I’m a single mom…literally have never had another woman hate on me for it, the women I know are pretty supportive. I’ve only seen single mom hate from men online, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/25 02:34 AM
12

Imagine watching Schindler’s list and your unironic main thought about it is that you’re a victim of prejudice and oppression because women don’t want to fuck you…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:37 PM
2

None of us have personal experience of this percentage because it’s not that each of us orgasms a certain percentage less. It’s that a lot of women have zero orgasms through penetrative sex. I can orgasm from sex, and generally have more than my partners (since women are more able to orgasm repeatedly with no refractory period). But I also know a lot of women who never orgasm without clitoral stimulation. The average among all women as a whole is lower. This doesn’t mean the amount for any given…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:02 PM
8

Definitely, none of the things guys say in this sub are things I hear irl lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 05:38 AM
12

I’ve honestly only heard that term in posts by men who are yelling at women for not taking it seriously enough 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/25 04:44 AM
7

I understand the question. I don’t understand what insight you’re hoping to gain from women about the inner workings of the male mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 05:31 AM
7

So are you asking us why the men we’ve dated wanted to date us? Because most of us don’t ask random guys why they hit on us, so that would just be speculation (but the answer is probably sex lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 05:22 AM
18

You’re asking the wrong people for both of those questions. Also, you didn’t ask why our exes wanted to date us, you asked why men hit on us.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 04:59 AM
24

Why are you asking women to tell you about men’s motivation? Wouldn’t it be a lot more useful to ask the men?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/25 04:46 AM
11

Generally women who get breast reductions do it for health/pain reasons, not because they’re trying to attract men. Literally have never heard of a woman getting a breast reduction for reasons relating to men at all. I would love to see some evidence of these women you’re talking about, who are getting mad when they get a reduction and don’t get objectified in the same way?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 07:16 PM
2

This sub is weird, and the posts here aren’t a good representation of how the average person approaches relationships. My take on this isn’t uncommon.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 10:38 AM
3

I think whatever motivates someone to get better is a positive thing. Most likely, someone who starts getting in better shape “to fuck a hottie” will start to feel better overall and notice the health benefits, etc., which is then additional motivation. Why does it matter what sparked the motivation in the first place?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 12:43 AM
2

It was not advice. That was me trying to say in the nicest way possible that you have a very self-centered view of the world and lack any understanding about women. My bad for not just saying it bluntly, but it was definitely not advice, it was commentary on character you’re displaying in your comments. Why would I provide evidence about your specific 59% statistic, when that isn’t anything relating to what I said? I don’t need you to assign me homework, do your own research. I was replying to y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 12:37 AM
3

I wasn’t giving you advice, I’m not sure why you would think that. I don’t know you and for sure don’t care what you do enough to want to give you advice. Most of what you’ve said in this comment is not true. Just…factually wrong. Stay at home dads are less common than moms but they exist (I personally have known several). Men without a solid career plan, who just have some vague idea that they’re going to make money by streaming their video games or something, date women (if they have social sk…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 12:09 AM
3

Try living as a woman for a few days and see if you still think we’re not affected by gender roles lol The total absence of ability to see things outside your own experience here is pretty alarming. You feel pressure to conform to gender roles, therefore men have that pressure. You haven’t ever felt the pressure put on women, therefore it must not exist? Society is pretty fucked up when it comes to gender roles, most of us feel pressure at times to conform and a competing pressure to reject the …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:41 PM
2

This makes no sense and I can’t even tell what you’re trying to say. Both genders feel pressure to accept or reject things about the traditional roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:19 PM
9

I disagree with this so much. Making a positive change in your life is a positive thing. What’s wrong with it if your motivation is realizing that you need to improve something about yourself in order to be better for your potential future partner? Making a change and then getting mad because it’s not the panty-dropper you thought it would be is stupid and toxic. But making a change for the better because you realize that people will probably be more attracted if you take care of yourself…why ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:18 PM
21

Doing things for your partner is part of being in a healthy relationship. The things you do for each other don’t have to fall within the traditional gender roles, but they can. I love to cook for the people I love. Cooking for my man is just a really normal part of being in a relationship for me. Also, a man who demands/expects it is not a man I would want to date. I stayed home with my kids and love being a mother, I’ve always been the primary parent and enjoy this role. Also, my ex who couldn’…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 04:15 PM
4

What
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:26 PM
1

Or we’re all just trying to navigate dating. Some of it sucks, some of it can be fun if you want it to be 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 07:20 PM
26

Hey women, why do you like dates? No, not that reason. Or that one. Come up with a different reason! What answer are you looking for here? To get to know someone we have to spend time with them. Meeting somewhere public and doing an activity or having a meal together seems like the logical choice, are you thinking we should just show up alone at some guy’s house?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 06:16 PM
2

My only time having casual sex I was completely sober.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 03:43 AM
1

If I’m with a guy, it’s because I’m choosing to be with him, and he’s the one I want to have sex with. Until you really grasp that most women just don’t have the same type of thoughts about sex that you do, you’re not going to get over the insecurity about it and that’s going to kind of fuck up your ability to enjoy a relationship. The best sex I’ve had was with a somewhat recent ex. The sex was amazing, I was totally in love with him, but he is not someone I want to be with now for reasons that…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 04:00 AM
1

I give a lot of priority to sexual compatibility. If I don’t enjoy the sex with someone (and it’s not something that can improve), I’m not going to want to be with him. But I value other things in a relationship as well, whether I want to be with someone is some combination of how our personalities mesh, how physically attracted to him I am, how our lifestyles align, and how sexually compatible we are. I’m only going to want a relationship where the compatibility is strong on all of those things…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 03:38 PM
1

What is scary about that?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 12:58 PM
3

I understand that’s how you, as a man, see it. But…why are you telling me to put myself in a woman’s shoes to understand your point? Like I’m in my own shoes, I am woman 😂😂 What I’m trying to tell you is that we don’t see sex (regardless of how attractive the man is) as an opportunity. Sex with a man more attractive than me doesn’t feel like a prize or something I’m trying to obtain. I understand that you, as a man, would see a woman more attractive than you wanting sex with you as an opportunit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 07:25 PM
7

You’re not describing someone unattractive, a majority of men would probably say they’re most attracted to someone who’s naturally pretty, without caked on makeup and obvious plastic surgery lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 03:22 PM
6

I can comfortably say I would not see that as an “opportunity.” Neither would most women. Men wanting sex with us isn’t like some rare precious thing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 03:19 PM
9

Sure, but someone wanting to have sex with you because they’re attracted feels good, if you’re also attracted. Someone wanting to have sex with you because they think you’re desperate and don’t have other options is not something most women would want.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 02:44 PM
9

Not really…it would probably be more of a “ok, what’s wrong with this dude that he can’t get any of the prettier girls?”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 02:42 PM
26

I would assume it’s not about the attractiveness of the guy, but more about distrusting the motives for approaching. Someone “cold approaching” is basing it entirely on appearance, so if a woman is aware that she isn’t generally considered attractive, she’s going to immediately distrust someone who’s hitting on her based on nothing more than her appearance…is he seeing her as an easy target? Assuming she’s desperate and will be more willing to have sex right away? An attractive woman is more lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 11:49 AM
1

I think the disconnect in that way of thinking is who they’re seeing as their “counterpart.” You mention women with the same flaws as them, what flaws do you mean? If a woman is bitter and angry, and blames everyone but herself for anything wrong in her life, then she’ll probably be unhappy just like he is. That would be a woman who has the same flaws as him, getting older isn’t a flaw lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 12:48 PM
3

No, social media is everyone presenting just the parts of their lives they want everyone to see. Everyone is dealing with some shit underneath the surface, so seeing just someone’s public persona and feeling bad about myself because of it doesn’t make any sense to me. When I feel less confident it’s usually based on seeing myself in a pic someone else took lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/25 05:21 AM
11

Yeah, but matching with someone doesn’t even kind of suggest exclusivity. Like OP hasn’t even met this girl yet and is disappointed that she isn’t exclusively committed to him?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:47 AM
26

Expecting exclusivity with someone you’ve talked to for a week and planned a date with (so, haven’t even met in person) is WAY too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 12:58 AM
5

Saying this like it’s a binary thing is funny to me, like you’re applying punnett square logic to if someone is good looking lol. I wonder which would be the dominant trait, like could you have a recessive ugly gene? Attractiveness is a spectrum and not perceived exactly the same by everyone, it’s crazy how some of the people in this sub truly have let red pill stuff get into your entire thought process enough that you actually believe good looks are a yes/no classification.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:32 PM
3

Why are people so stuck on needing this revenge fantasy about no one wanting women past a certain age, when it’s just…not true lol I’m in my 40s (and not like extra attractive at all), women my age are fully aware that your whole narrative is just objectively not true. Like are there men my age who only want much younger women? Sure, and those aren’t the men I’d be interested in anyway. And they’re not a majority, they’re just loud about it. With regard to “n-count,” insecure men will just be in…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 10:19 PM
–

If a man does not find any women attractive then yeah, he’s probably gay or asexual. If there’s a woman and he doesn’t find her attractive, he just isn’t attracted to that woman. And same goes for women. This can’t truly be difficult to understand
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:51 PM
–

I have never said that. You’re taking different women saying different things, in different contexts, and not understanding how that could happen. There are men I don’t find attractive. But all of the people I’ve been attracted to are men. I didn’t read whatever thread upset you yesterday, but I’m going to guess a lot of the women you think said they don’t find men attractive actually said something much more nuanced than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:26 PM
–

It’s impossible to answer a question when the premise is false. I’m attracted to men. So are all the other straight women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:35 PM
4

I don’t know what to tell you, most women don’t view men or sex the way you do, and I can’t answer your questions about my personal preferences in a way that fits these constructs you’re stuck on. I don’t base whether to get into a relationship on a guy’s cock. At all. Sexual chemistry is important, but how someone’s cock is shaped isn’t a very big piece of that. I don’t have some checklist of “benchmarks” and rank guys numerically. Most women don’t do that. We like who we like. And like I said,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 12:36 PM
5

I don’t have casual sex, what do you mean about benchmarks? What makes it nice to me has more to do with how it responds to things than anything with size or shape or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 06:23 AM
6

One that I like. The answer to that will be different for everyone, so my personal opinion on it doesn’t matter too much here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 06:19 AM
6

Agree with this, really. I love a nice cock but I’m not going to be in a relationship with a guy because of that, if I’m willing to give someone all my relationship energy it’s because we connect on a number of levels (sex is one of them. But definitely not the only one). So it’s entirely possible I could be in a relationship (and truly genuinely love the guy, and have no desire to sleep with anyone else) with someone who isn’t the best sex I’ve ever had. I figure I might not be the best sex he’…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 05:17 AM
13

lol who tf is triggered. He wanted a relationship, the fuck buddy/situationship or whatever was what he was asking for as a consolation prize. But you obviously have a narrative in your head that you’re stuck on, so sure, try and make everything fit with that if you like
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:30 PM
20

The only time I’ve heard this word used by an adult irl was a when a guy said it. In the context of me saying I didn’t want a relationship (he asked if we could at least have a “situationship”). So I have not observed anything that matches what you’re saying here 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 08:58 PM
8

It’s not about therapy, it’s about anger issues. You telling women that you’re in therapy isn’t what’s making them unmatch. Telling them about your behavior that could be scary or triggering is the reason. Being self aware and going to therapy are green flags. There are some things people go to therapy for that are red flags, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:03 PM
–

You claim that “many decent men” are turned violent and abusive by these things you believe about women. I’m curious why you believe those would be decent men, these ones who decide to be violent toward women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:55 AM
–

I don’t look for sympathy from random men about my dating choices, I don’t feel entitled to it. I’m more concerned with the part of the rant in the OP where he thinks the logical response to the misguided belief that women want to be abused is to become violent and abusive. And blames women for this, somehow.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:48 AM
–

Genuine question…do you know or speak to any women? Or just read about us in red pill spaces? If you decide to become violent and abusive toward women due to a belief that women secretly like it, that inclination was already in you. Normal men don’t just start getting violent with women because they think it will get them dates. Like…honestly what the fuck
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:41 AM
–

Most of us weren’t in the sample used for that study on a dating app, which is where you get the 20% number. That’s not actually a fact, like we’re not actually all attracted to only the same 20% of men lol If someone decides to settle for someone she doesn’t like, then I guess that might be someone who would like having side boyfriends. Most of us don’t date people we don’t like, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:50 AM
–

Why be loyal? Because you actually care about the person you’re in a relationship with. Your entire premise assumes that we’re making decisions about relationships from a “material standpoint.” Most of us choose to have relationships with men we actually want to be with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 03:22 AM
2

You’re stating facts about hypersexuality. Hypersexuality isn’t the same as high number of lifetime sexual partners. Plenty of hypersexual people have a low number of total partners because sometimes the trauma that leads to it also makes them less likely to trust a bunch of random dudes. So some people are hypersexual and mostly express that by constantly wanting sex from the person they’re in a relationship with 🙋🏻‍♀️ You can’t take facts about one thing, apply them to a different thing, and t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 08:31 PM
4

I mean, I did read it, it wasn’t very long. You said that high partner count generally comes with abuse, cheating, and drug use. You didn’t really mention context. So…not sure what you’re talking about, really. Also, 15 over the course of someone’s lifetime is pretty far from “extreme,” it’s slightly higher than the average but not a crazy number or anything. So making any judgments about a person based on nothing but the number, you’re going to make a lot of incorrect assumptions that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 07:17 PM
1

The number means nothing without context, really. To actually understand anything about someone from their sexual past, you’d need to know the context (were most of the sexual partners relationships or hookups, etc) and way more importantly, how the person now feels about their sexual past and what their current approach is to sex. Assuming someone has a drug problem based on their number of sexual partners makes no sense at all. Assuming anything doesn’t make sense, really, just communicate wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 05:43 PM
4

I’d love to hear you try to convince a judge that a woman having sex before you met is cruelty, or in any way affects you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:45 PM
7

This is just so delusional. And not at all how divorce works lol
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:32 PM
7

I don’t lie about my past to someone I’m dating, but I also might not share all the details of past sexual experiences unless I know he wants to hear about it. Or if I’m early into dating someone I might downplay how much I enjoyed a past experience, and stuff like that, just because I don’t need to make anyone feel insecure or obsess over something I enjoyed in the past or whatever. Outright lying, though, if any straight up facts about my past (number of guys I’ve been with, length of relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/25 03:30 PM
3

It’s literally happening in this thread. You are one of the people saying it. What do you even mean it never happens lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 05:31 AM
5

Trying to police people’s thoughts seems like a waste of time. But you do you, I guess. I would rather focus on what people actually do…if someone is committing a sexual crime, then they should be dealt with. If someone gets turned on by something you disapprove of, nothing needs to be done.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:39 AM
9

I feel like your understanding of logic, and your understanding of sexual fantasies both need a little work, it’s hard to have a meaningful discussion on this when you don’t have a basic grasp on the difference between fantasy and reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:37 AM
5

It only perpetuates that idea to people who have a really shaky grasp on the concept of sexual fantasies and kinks. It’s a bizarre thing to go on a crusade against people’s turn ons lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:35 AM
5

Like these are very different things. You’re trying to compare cnc fantasies to guys who are pedos, and it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense really. What is your point on this that in any way relates to the topic of the thread? Or is it just a separate topic you’re wanting to discuss, for some reason?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:34 AM
10

So the way to stop sexual crimes is to control what women masturbate to. Sounds like a solid plan lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:30 AM
6

Well, then don’t date or sleep with women who want to roleplay it 🤷🏻‍♀️ There are a bunch of kinks out there that aren’t my thing, so I just…don’t do them. It’s not that complicated.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:28 AM
11

So first of all “age play” is a thing, there are a ton of reddit subs for that. So what you’re talking about isn’t some crazy thing that you made up for debate, it’s an actual thing that a surprising number of actual men do lol And yeah, if an older man is specifically wanting to date a girl who just turned 18, and wants her to roleplay as younger, I would assume he has some pedo tendencies. I’d also be glad he’s choosing to roleplay it rather than actually doing the real thing? I don’t really g…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:28 AM
11

I mean…this is just literally how fantasy and roleplay works. I’m not sure how to explain that if you don’t understand. Also, it’s not so much that women “evolve” to be turned on by it, a majority of women with nonconsensual fantasies have sexual trauma in their past, it’s a coping mechanism to process the trauma by turning it into a kink.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:23 AM
12

I haven’t. But I’m aware that some involves questionable consent (or no consent at all). Because again, women who have rape fantasies aren’t actually wanting to be raped, they’re fantasizing about a romanticized version of it where a man they find attractive is so overcome with lust and desire that he just has to take them. Any of us who have actually been raped (which honestly is most of us) know that actual rape is nothing like that. Fantasy is fantasy, it doesn’t mean women who have those fan…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:21 AM
6

Yep, that’s what I said in the previous comment. Kind of trying to respond to two things with this OP, there’s the fact that he thinks women all want to roleplay nonconsent, which is not true. And also the fact he thinks that wanting to roleplay non consent means someone doesn’t want actual consent, which is also not true. It’s hard to respond to both at the same time, sorry if my wording made it unclear at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 04:12 AM
10

You’d have to ask someone who’s into it 🤷🏻‍♀️ (because again, most of us enjoy consensual sex. You’re taking what you’ve heard a few women say and falsely applying it to all women. And not even correctly understanding what those women said)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:06 AM
20

CNC literally stands for consensual non-consent. It’s in the name. It’s roleplaying. Women who have those fantasies (and again, definitely not even close to all women have them) aren’t actually wanting to be raped. It’s fantasy and roleplay, and usually a reaction to past trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:03 AM
30

Honestly you need to expand the pool of women you listen to. Not all (or even most) women have fantasies about sexual violence. The ones who do enjoy cnc type things usually list consent as a completely mandatory part of it. If you only ever hear women say that consent is a turn off, you’re talking to only a very small pool of women. Or (more likely) not actually understanding what women are saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 02:59 AM
3

Why does someone always automatically go to the extremes like this? That is such a rare height for a man (I’m exactly 5ft, in my entire life I’ve met 2 men who were within a couple inches of my height. One of those guys is married to a pretty hot woman, by the way) But no, personally I would have a hard time being attracted to a man who is the same height as me. The post asked about men who were “not tall” and gave 5’7 as an example. Everyone has preferences, and personally my preference is…the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:16 AM
25

I lust after the men I have an emotional/love connection with, and don’t feel that with random dudes. I have lusted after guys who weren’t tall. The best sex I’ve had was with a 5’8 guy I was in love with, I definitely felt lust for him. This idea that we separate men into those two categories isn’t coming from women, it’s coming from men making assumptions about us.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 03:36 AM
1

I didn’t say “men hate women with baggage.” My original comment was about “men who hate women with ‘baggage,’” which was the topic of the post and refers to the men who complain about this specific thing. Those men seem to be on this sub and honestly nowhere else that I ever encounter lol. So I was commenting on a certain type of man, and making an observation based on the comments I’ve seen from that type of man. Nowhere did I offer a general view of men, anything you added about that is coming…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 05:44 PM
1

You’re reading a whole lot about me personally in a comment that was about the dynamic in general. For clarity, I have never personally had someone tell me I had too much “baggage” lol, I only hear men talk that way on here, a majority of men don’t behave like the ones who post here. Nothing I commented was about me, my experiences, or anything other than behavior I’ve observed from men on this sub, so it’s super weird you’re responding with a bunch of randomness about me personally, based on…no…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 03:42 PM
1

What exactly is it you’re suggesting I take accountability for? My comment was about the men a problem with women who have been in relationships before him (and describe any past relationship as “baggage”)…why would I take accountability for those men being the way they are, I’m certainly not choosing it for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 12:57 AM
1

That’s a weird way to read what I wrote.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 09:19 PM
-1

Men who are upset about a woman who has “baggage” actually mean they’re upset other men had a chance with her first. They manage to blame women for it because we should have “chosen better” (meaning, chosen him)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/25 02:44 PM
8

Recent post on his profile is a complaint about being “average looking” and having trouble dating. So I’m assuming this post is just his fantasy or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:48 AM
–

I mean, I learned not to fuck someone out of politeness 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 04:20 AM
–

The sex was decent, actually, but he got attached after and I felt like a terrible person when I had to let him know I just wasn’t feeling it. People think guys are assholes when they do the same thing, so I basically felt like an asshole. Even though ironically I was actually trying to avoid making him feel bad…just kind of fucked that whole situation up. Which is one of the reasons I hate dating and wish there was a way to just jump right to the relationship part lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:13 AM
18

It’s interesting to me that men think this. Rather than thinking that the qualities that make a man unattractive to some women also make him unattractive to other women. Also, that’s not at all what my comment was about lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 02:40 AM
–

If that’s your lived experience, that the women you pursue put zero effort into a date and expect a prize just for showing up, you might be pursuing the wrong women. Unless that’s what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:57 PM
–

Honestly I’m just awkward and introverted, and if I acted totally like myself on a first date there probably wouldn’t be a second one lol Definitely good advice to just end it early if you’re not feeling it, though…I ended up having sex on a first date somewhat recently because I wasn’t really feeling it but couldn’t really figure out how to politely say so 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:55 PM
–

Lots of reasons, it feels good to be in love and be loved. I’m a pretty loyal loving person, and like having one person to give that energy to. Affection, cuddles, sex with someone where you already know how to make each other feel good, someone to talk to etc
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:52 PM
–

Honest question, how do you make it fun? I suffer my way through all the awkward small talk and “what are your hobbies” and everything in the hopes eventually we can have a real conversation, but I truly don’t find the “introduction” phase of dating fun at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:34 PM
–

Those of us seeking an actual partner and not a sugar daddy don’t just show up and expect everything to be planned and paid for. But you don’t strike me as someone who’s able to budge from your preconceived notions, so I guess keep thinking that’s the dating experience for all women 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:29 PM
–

I hate dating, but love being in a relationship. So I just kind of power through the exhausting dating phases to hopefully get to the relationship. None of it is worth sacrificing your own joy, though, if none of it is enjoyable to you, definitely better to find the things that actually make you happy!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:15 PM
–

Chasing women in the ways you describe is usually not attractive to women. And leads to a lot of men getting really angry and frustrated when they’re putting in so much effort on the wrong things, and seeing no results. Glad you got to a point where you can just be happy and focus on improvements that will actually benefit you
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:09 PM
16

Girls are absolutely different with it now, and it makes me happy to see. When I was growing up there was still this general message we got, that we needed to be paired up with a man to have value. Now I have teenage daughters and they just don’t get those same messages from anyone, most of their friends don’t really give a shit who has a boyfriend and who’s paired up, they’re much more focused on themselves and their friendships, and just date if they happen to really like a guy enough. It’s mu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:29 PM
7

Don’t care about actually reading this rant, just need to know why you felt the need to censor the word “hookup”
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 12:37 PM
5

And you’re thinking that women who want a financially stable man are seeking status? Rather than financial stability?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:21 PM
2

Let’s say you’re correct and you understand what it is that women really want better than we understand it lol. I’m still waiting for any explanation of what about progressive political views would make someone NOT want a partner who lines up with whatever it is they’re wanting financially. Like these are unrelated things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:08 PM
-3

I’m a woman, I know how I perceive things. But thanks for incorrectly informing me 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:57 PM
3

I don’t know too many women who would want to date someone who makes $39 per month? Is that the number you meant?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:57 PM
6

Then define what you mean by “lower class.” Because I’ve seen a lot of times here where a woman saying she doesn’t want a broke man she has to financially support gets taken to mean “I only want men making over 6 figures.”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:53 PM
17

What does politics have to do with not wanting to date an unemployed man who can’t support his own life and wants me to support him? We want a partner, not a project. Which has nothing to do with politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 02:38 PM
3

I was responding to your statement that tradcon men wouldn’t pursue liberal women because marriage and children would be unlikely. There’s definitely a mismatch in values between liberal women and conservative men, but that mismatch isn’t on whether to get married and have children
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 05:58 PM
15

This is a pretty wild take. Do you honestly believe that liberal women don’t get married and have children?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 02:22 PM
1

Dude, this thread is old as fuck, why do you keep replying to my comments here with this weird shit? Women can lust after the men we’re attracted to, we feel sexual desire for the men we’re attracted to. This isn’t hard to comprehend.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:37 AM
1

What a weird and sad thing to say
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 07:34 PM
3

Her feelings aren’t a statement on who the guy is or what his intentions are. Her feelings are how she feels in that moment in response to the guy who’s approached. Her feelings are accurate because she’s the only one who can say how she feels. It is reasonable for anyone to end an interaction that makes them uncomfortable. The “reasonable standard” here would be…I only want to participate in interactions that I feel comfortable with. That’s a pretty bare minimum standard, and perfectly reasonab…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 06:37 PM
10

Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if 8 out of 10 non-blended families are messy and toxic, families have a lot of dysfunction, you can always find some if you’re looking for it. Personally, I grew up with my mom and stepdad and it was great, he’s my dad in every way. I know that’s not everyone’s experience, but it’s not rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:15 PM
5

The OP was talking about approaches from random guys that feel predatory. Someone nicely approaching and nicely stepping away if it’s not received well wouldn’t be seen as predatory, it feels that way when someone either violates boundaries (invading personal space without being invited) or won’t back off. Your last statement is contradictory, if a man keeps talking to a woman who doesn’t want to talk to him, that’s someone who can’t take no for an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:09 PM
3

Cool. Not sure how this relates
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 05:06 PM
11

In one situation there’s consent. In the other there’s not. This truly can’t be that hard to comprehend. Consensually participating in a fetish doesn’t really have any connection to whether someone wants to be hit on by a guy who can’t take no for an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:48 PM
4

I’m curious, do you believe what you just described is “sexual liberation”? Also, if you’re thinking that women are more attracted to attractive men because of some propaganda campaign, you’re incorrect.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 06:15 PM
4

Ok cool, sorry for the misunderstanding! I didn’t get why you were coming at me so hard about the embarrassing thing 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 01:45 PM
4

Ok 🤷🏻‍♀️ my initial comment was saying that the concept of the thread (meaning, the premise the OP put up) had an embarrassing lack of understanding of eugenics. I was talking about the OP’s post, not your comment, sorry if I didn’t make that clear enough
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 01:15 PM
8

Is the thread about what spirit we’re choosing sexual partners with? The thread seems to be about trying to apply a bad label to women having the ability to choose sexual partners. Also, sexual liberation is being used weirdly here as well. Since when does that mean “only sleeping with hot people”?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 12:58 PM
19

Dating or reproducing with someone because they have desirable traits you want to pass on to children still isn’t eugenics. If the government or some outside force was forcing a person to only reproduce with people who had certain traits, that’s eugenics. Choosing your own sexual partners is not eugenics, and this entire thread concept shows kind of an embarrassing lack of understanding of the term.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 12:31 PM
–

Normal men don’t care if we’re virgins and can see us as human. This is such a crazy take on the world, I’m sorry that you’ve only experienced men like this. There are some actual good ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:47 PM
–

You’re really not a rare exception lol. The people in this sub have such bizarre opinions and write little manifestos starting with the premise that their opinion is an accepted fact. Most people just relate to each other in a normal fucking way, the men who actually see women like this are not a majority. They’re just heavily overrepresented here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 12:58 PM
2

I lost 60 lb and still prefer chubby/dad bod guys over skinny. I think the people who become more attractive and then start dating more conventionally attractive people haven’t actually changed their own preferences. They’ve just changed their options.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:43 PM
10

Even women who do have rape fantasies don’t actually want to be raped. Fantasy is fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 12:09 AM
9

I’ve had obsessed partners, this is clearly written by someone who hasn’t and is just romanticizing the idea without any understanding of reality. “The kind of person who checks your “last seen” on WhatsApp like it’s their full-time job” is also the kind of person who is constantly questioning you and demanding you account for every second of your time, who gets jealous of your friends and family if they get any of your time. It’s the kind of person who gradually becomes abusive when you inevita…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 12:51 PM
1

That’s true. Is that somehow in contradiction to what I said?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 01:54 PM
3

Can you stop assuming how I think about men? Everything you’re saying is entirely based on your own assumptions and has literally nothing to do with anything I’ve said
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 01:01 AM
-1

Why would you want us to celebrate that? I have no issue with men who aren’t conventionally attractive. I do have an issue with men who don’t know how to take no for an answer, so that type of man should definitely stay away.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 09:06 PM
-4

I don’t have a problem with that. My issue is with the men who whine about how hypothetical women react to being approached, without having actually witnessed any of the behavior they complain about
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 08:12 PM
0

Which of my words are they taking at face value, and why would that be a problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 04:58 PM
0

Some men have great friendships with each other. Those are not the men who say stuff like this, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 04:07 PM
18

A lot of men on this sub talk with great authority about how women respond when approached, then admit they’ve never actually approached a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 01:22 PM
1

The number of men who I’ve heard talk about something they think would be appealing to women, with a little shrug and “I guess I’m not like most men.” It’s just not labeled as “pick me” because pick me is a fairly recent term that’s used to described girls…it’s the same behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 01:03 PM
5

Do you have an issue to debate? Or just posting your rant?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 12:56 PM
30

This isn’t most men. This is a certain sad breed of man. There are plenty of hetero men who do actually like women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 06:04 PM
3

So you lay out a scenario where a man apparently is catering to a woman’s emotional roller coasters, and playing a part in order to seem like husband material, he’s a willing participant in getting married, and then after she’s legally tied to him he flips his behavior and stops being emotionally supportive. And you tell this story to support your idea that women are the problem with marriage. A woman who marries a man who seems ready for marriage and emotionally supportive isn’t doing it for “t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/25 01:19 PM
0

I don’t give a shit what phone he has. If he’s an android user and wants to spend lots of time telling me why my iPhone is inferior, it’s not very attractive, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 12:57 PM
6

I’m responding to the scenario you wrote up there. That he is giving less effort to someone who isn’t his usual type. I wouldn’t be ok with that
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 08:04 PM
19

I don’t care if I’m not his exact physical type. I would care if he wasn’t putting his normal amount of effort into the relationship because of it. So my answer to the title question is really different than my answer to the other stuff you’ve written.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 03:53 PM
14

No clue, I’ve never done random hookups and have never felt pressured or encouraged to hook up with random dudes. So I’m not sure I agree with the premise of the question
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 03:51 PM
28

For women, sex is someone being inside our bodies. It’s more vulnerable, and when it’s someone who you don’t feel safe and comfortable with, it can feel very violating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 03:12 PM
7

Your comment saying that some women don’t want to date someone who makes less? I mean yeah, I read it. It wasn’t difficult. Care to elaborate on the part you feel was misunderstood, or are you going to just keep insisting I need to read your random comment again?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:34 PM
7

This means your comment was gross, and the fact that some men think that way makes me wish I wasn’t attracted to men…I didn’t think an explanation was needed, it was pretty clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:32 PM
11

Yes, absolutely no point in seeing what the toxic guys are doing right now, so I can warn my teenage daughters about what to avoid lol Also, I date men my age. I know red pill guys try really hard to insist that women over 25 can’t find a man, but there are plenty of men who didn’t get that weird memo and actually want to date women close to their own age, too
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:23 PM
5

My kid is almost 18, I’m not asking for anything from 18-year-olds lol. I’m not even sure what this comment means
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:10 PM
2

I read what you wrote. I’m saying that the reason a lot of women don’t want to date someone who makes less is because we aren’t interested in financially supporting a grown ass man. Not because we’re attracted to “resources.” I also don’t expect a man to financially support me. Which I figure I’ll just say now, because I’m sure that’s your next comment lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:08 PM
5

I won’t be saying that, since I don’t divide humans into levels for judging them. But good try, I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 01:40 PM
6

Comments like this make me wish I could not be attracted to men 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 01:38 PM
8

Provide those things for yourself, definitely. That’s just basic being an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 01:15 PM
13

Not wanting to date a man who makes significantly less isn’t the same as “dating for resources.” I won’t date someone who doesn’t live within his means, not because I’m after men for money but because I don’t want a man who wants to use mine or expects me to pay for things for him. I have my own shit to take care of, and don’t need someone draining me financially.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 01:12 PM
21

Personality can make an average looking man attractive, it’s just that the people who write posts like this tend not to have attractive personalities, so their experience doesn’t validate this idea. Money doesn’t make someone more attractive. It can make a man a better dating option for a woman who dates for money, but it won’t actually make her attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 12:49 PM
9

No, certain types of women date men they’re not attracted to based on resources. If you’re able to attract women in the normal ways, you don’t need to offer an incentive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 12:23 PM
8

No…I’m saying that’s why we evolved to be attracted to certain physical traits. This is not the same as being “attracted to resources.” If you’re not attractive to someone, and she suddenly wants to date you because you’re offering “resources,” that’s not attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 12:07 PM
7

That’s “you’re wrong because I said so, and science agrees with my take on it, just trust me.” So let’s see some evidence that women evolved to be attracted to “resources.” Rather than to be attracted to the physical traits of men who were best able to protect and provide. Because I’m pretty sure it’s actually the second thing, if you want to just look at straight up evolution. And that’s all assuming that we’re out here just operating on base instinct and thinking of dating from a hunter gather…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 12:00 PM
24

Why post something for debate if you’re going to just respond with “you’re wrong because I said so”?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 11:47 AM
59

Men say stuff like this, and then lead with their money and wonder why they’re only attracting gold diggers. The women (and it’s most of us) who are attracted based on things other than “resources” won’t be attracted if that’s your mentality. So you get confirmation bias because the only women who will actually date you are the ones who are after your money. Which is how you end up writing little rants like this and actually thinking it’s true.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 11:43 AM
16

Yep, seems some men have a hard time finding casual sex. Why am I supposed to care about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 05:32 PM
11

That’s true. A lot of guys want to feel wanted, though, and I have trouble connecting or relating to a guy who could have sex with a girl he had to pay to be there. So the men I would want to fuck are the ones who wouldn’t pay for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 02:36 PM
23

Because I want to enjoy it, too? If he’s paying for it, then I’m getting used as a place to cum or whatever, and it doesn’t matter if I’m enjoying it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 02:28 PM
39

Nothing’s stopping you from becoming a sex worker. Some of us enjoy sex just as much as men do. Why would I charge money for it when we both want it?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 02:21 PM
1

I stay here because it’s kind of fascinating reading shit like this and realizing there are actually people who think this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:02 PM
–

Well, the content of the post was bizarre and based on this guy’s weird thing where he reads anger in anything women say, so there’s not really a way to engage with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 12:56 AM
–

That’s weird and sad
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:04 PM
–

So you would like for women to starve so they want to date you. Got it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 09:01 PM
–

Generally, people who qualify for government assistance are not living “the lifestyle they want.” Please explain how the need for anti discrimination laws is “proof” that women can’t work and support ourselves without men’s help? Because it’s really not
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 08:56 PM
–

…do you think women aren’t capable of working and supporting ourselves? Genuinely asking. Like you actually sound like you think a woman’s options to survive in life are either welfare or a man??
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 05:28 PM
12

“It’s definitely rooted in evolutionary psychology. Source: trust me, bro”
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:07 PM
–

Just wanting to make sure I understand your take here. You’re saying that when women won’t date you it’s because of…government help? Like the government is just out here subsidizing our dating choices somehow? Am I missing out on some funding that’s being given out to women when we don’t pity fuck men we’re not attracted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 01:01 PM
16

I’ve wondered if this is actually part of the whole issue where women only will rate a small percent of men as attractive based on dating profiles. Is it really that we only like the top 20% of men (which doesn’t at all match my perception of the variety of men who are perfectly able to get dates)? Or is it that only 20% of men know how to take a halfway decent pic?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 08:10 PM
20

I would not want to be hit on at a nice restaurant with my mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:55 PM
–

I’ve used the term “fuckzone” as kind of a response to people who whine about the friendzone…like don’t pretend to be my friend if you’re just going to fuckzone me. I didn’t realize it has an actual meaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:53 PM
44

I would not want to be hit on at a nice restaurant with my mom.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:25 AM
7

It’s almost as if different people within a gender have different preferences. Crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 12:58 PM
7

It depends what you mean by easier. I think the biggest advantage to current dating is the ability to meet people outside of your smaller community, especially for people who live in less populated areas. But the culture of dating apps and swiping isn’t great for meeting someone and forming an actual connection. It encourages more of a focus on appearance and quickly judging people. It feels like in recent years people in general are more isolated and gather with friends less, it’s just like thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 04:43 PM
2

It’s not this way for everyone though, for some women it’s much harder to leave. In my case, it wasn’t harder financially on my own, because I have a good job and he was terrible at managing money so it actually got easier to afford things without him here. But not everyone makes enough to pay for a house and bills and everything for the kids on just one income. Also, there were a lot of other reasons that I divorced him, if we’d had a really good relationship and just didn’t agree on the divisi…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 03:35 PM
13

I don’t think you quitting having sex with women will cut as deep as you think it will.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:26 PM
3

Not everyone possesses that willingness, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 02:09 PM
9

Where does that 90% figure come from? Just curious, if you’re putting a number out there as part of a “debate” where it’s from and what was the question it was answering (90% of women expect it? Or on average women expect it 90% of the times we have sex? Or just a made up number that doesn’t make sense?) If you’re doing sex right, it shouldn’t feel like a “job” for either person, you should want the person you’re with to enjoy it. If caring about your partner’s enjoyment is too great of a burden…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 12:50 PM
3

It’s really not that hard when both people are on the same page about division of domestic labor It’s very easy to get to the point in a relationship where you’re living together before seeing how someone actually is with this. Because most people are perfectly capable of taking care of their own living space, it’s just that some people (and these people tend to be men) will stop doing any of it once they’re living with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 12:45 PM
6

Thanks, the kids are doing great now. One thing that’s nice about divorcing someone who isn’t pulling his weight is that daily life doesn’t get any harder when they’re gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 12:40 PM
6

Didn’t realize I needed to write out the whole story, I was answering OP’s question about why it’s not always a breakup-worthy issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 12:38 PM
6

What makes you think I didn’t talk to him about it? That I didn’t waste hours of my life trying to communicate with him about how his daughters needed to see him stepping up and doing more, that his lack of pulling his weight at home was killing my attraction to him. That I didn’t sit down with him and work out a plan where he would be responsible for certain chores, that he would follow for like half a day and then go back to doing nothing. Talking about it only helps if both people want it to …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:51 AM
2

If you read the end of my first paragraph, I didn’t stay with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:48 AM
67

When my kids were little I stayed home with them and my husband (at the time) worked, so I did 100% of the household chores. Then I started working part time from home, and I still did 100%. Then when the kids were a little older I worked more and was making more than him, and I still did 100% of the household chores. In that case, I put up with it because he wasn’t going to change, and it didn’t feel like a big enough reason for my kids to have a broken family (this combined with many other iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 11:54 PM
18

Is this a hypothetical future world you’re talking about, and want us to predict how we would react to your fantasy world? Or are you trying to say that there are no good men anymore because the evil women have driven them away? Because there are a number of good men out there, most of them just don’t hang out in the corners of the internet where you appear to get your information.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:51 PM
–

As you’re told every time you bring this topic up, women are not oppressing you by not sharing your kink. If you’re so hard up just pay a dominatrix. Getting mad at everyone for not wanting to dom you does nothing to help your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 11:33 AM
123

Just date the age you want, you don’t have to get everyone else to agree with your choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 11:22 AM
3

About my own sex drive? Kind of a weird thing to think you know better than I do, but ok lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 09:08 PM
5

Thanks, couldn’t figure it out!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:58 PM
3

I don’t have a clue what this is responding to. Clearly not my post lol My sex drive is higher than most of the men I’ve dated. But I don’t act desperate about it, the way some men do. Other high libido women I know are the same way. So that’s what I’m basing my observation on.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:50 PM
1

I’m not saying you should have seen anything in particular, I’m not the OP. I’m just saying that there have been many times that some of the men here speak as if they have been abused and victimized by women, and what they’re actually talking about is women saying no to a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:48 PM
24

What am I missing? Who tf is Jamie? I mean, that’s my toxic ex’s name but I assume you don’t all know him lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:44 PM
1

Being extroverted will probably help you meet more people, but that’s not what I mean by personality. You can be introverted and still be fun, have a good sense of humor, and generally be enjoyable to talk to. Personally I’m more attracted to introverted (but still social) men than to the ones who are the life of the party and prefer to hang out with large groups of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 08:42 PM
0

Oh I know (assumed from context you’re a man), I meant some of the men here, obviously. An unfortunately large number of them, though
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:43 PM
3

It’s wild to me how often the men here, in total sincerity, refer to themselves as “victims” when talking about someone not wanting to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:35 PM
4

Not at all what I said, but cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:45 PM
1

I mean, what sounds more fun? Regular boring vasectomy, or a vasectomy that comes with a whole song and dance about it? I definitely would have gone for singing my way through childbirth instead of the way less fun version I had lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:31 PM
3

Shit, ok I’ve been doing it wrong. Ear splitting high notes, then? I was a voice major in college, I feel like I’m up to the challenge. I’ll report back once they come in and start cleaning for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:29 PM
1

No way, life needs a lot more musical numbers!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:24 PM
2

The fucking pain my toes feel just imagining trying to run in Cinderella’s shoes…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:24 PM
11

I feel like I was gaslit by Disney into thinking that woodland creatures would help me clean my house.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:56 PM
4

And I’m asking which women are saying “be nice” as dating advice. Where are you seeing women say this? Because we talk all the time about how annoying the “nice guy” thing is, where a guy thinks basic politeness should entitle him to sex with us. We’re not giving this out as advice, I think you’re seeing comments about personality misunderstanding them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:54 PM
0

Men are more sexually motivated than women, on average. My opinion on it, not backed up by any research lol, is that this isn’t a difference in sex drive, but a difference in how we’re socialized to view sex as it relates to our identity. Men view the ability to obtain sex as an achievement and a statement about their own masculinity. Women typically don’t see it the same way. So when men are horny they place more importance on getting that need met, and women have an easier time being ok if fee…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:43 PM
3

“Be kind” is a general standard for how to relate to people and not just be an asshole. It’s not dating and seduction advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:37 PM
2

Thank you, I feel like I’m making sense and am starting to feel like I’m talking into the void lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:35 PM
2

Where did I say that? Being nice, treating people like humans, all of that is like minimum standard of how to relate to people without being an asshole. It doesn’t create attraction. The men women want are the ones who are nice and fun to hang out with, AND who are attractive to us (combination of physical and personality). Regardless of if you’re attractive to a woman, don’t be an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 03:08 PM
4

“Personality” when it’s talked about with attraction, isn’t the same as being “nice.” It’s a mix of confidence, humor, and generally just being a fun and enjoyable person to talk to and hang out with…usually the men you see who are not physically attractive but seem to have luck with women have that. If you’re objectively unattractive, personality won’t always make up for it, obviously. But it can make an average man appear way more attractive, and give an unattractive man a shot with the women …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 02:54 PM
3

We generally want good men, and it’s generally acknowledged that no one wants a “nice guy.” “Just treat women as people” doesn’t mean do that and one will magically be attracted to you. It’s advice to quit putting women as a whole on some unattainable pedestal and acting like you’re trying to unlock the secret to her or something. Just talking to women the way you would talk to anyone is going to go better than acting like we’re a different species. But I haven’t seen anyone say that treating wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 02:43 PM
5

What women say “just be nice to us” as an answer to how you attract women? I’ve mostly seen that idea pushed by men, that women need to give the “nice guy” a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 02:21 PM
2

Which negative qualities did you see listed?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 02:02 PM
2

Learn to listen to a problem and sympathize without needing to solve it for her Have other people in your life to talk to (friends, family, therapist) and get some emotional support from, so she’s not your only source of support and doesn’t feel like your therapist Communicate and learn to disagree in a civil way. Some men have grown up hearing “happy wife happy life” type messages, and will pretend to agree sometimes when they really don’t, and it just leads to miscommunication and a build up o…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 01:57 PM
8

Lack of success attracting women means nothing about if you’re a good or bad person, all it means is you’re for whatever reason not attracting women. I think the men who complain about this do actually know this, it’s not so much that they think they’re being judged as bad people…it’s that they’ve internalized some message that good things should happen to good people, and feel cheated by life when their romantic success doesn’t match their perception of their moral character.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 01:50 PM
9

For real, it’s so weird on this sub how often I say something general and someone responds as if I called out their very specific insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 01:46 PM
1

Get good at striking up random conversations with people (not just the ones I want to date) basically get more comfortable meeting people in social situations Make some female friends (and not to try and date them. But good female friends will be honest with you about where you’re going wrong with women, can maybe introduce you to their friends, help with style, etc) Get a good style/grooming routine, figure out the best hairstyle for my face, get clothes that fit right, and smell good (men seem…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 01:45 PM
7

Not sure where you saw me say something about 6 figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 11:43 AM
17

Agreed. Which is what makes it annoying when they expect the role and the benefits that come with being a “provider,” but not the responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 02:58 AM
23

I agree it’s pretty ridiculous, but this is a complaint I hear a lot. It seems to be men who envision themselves in a provider role but don’t have an income that allows for it, so they expect a “tradwife” but need her to make money too
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 02:46 AM
–

I love how this question implies in all sincerity that men don’t have derogatory terms for women, and haven’t been objectifying women since forever lol
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 12:41 AM
39

My main complaint is with men who want/expect to have the “provider” role in a relationship, but don’t want to be a provider. By which I mean, they want a “traditional housewife” who also works full time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:57 PM
–

Yeah, honestly the whole conversation around single moms is confusing to me. Mostly because everything being said is in direct contrast to my lived experience as a single mom lol I had the kids when I was married. To a really fucking boring guy who no one would ever describe as a “chad” or whatever. I have way better sex now than I did before I was married or had kids. There is genuinely no shortage of men who have wanted to date me since I got divorced, so this whole narrative about lack of opt…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:18 PM
–

Ok not just me, right?? I have no fucking clue what this was about lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:05 PM
–

Is this to explain the cryptic comment about how it was disgusting? Or which thing is this explaining to me? I’m perfectly willing to try and understand, but when someone says a (from what I can tell, pretty harmless) comment is disgusting, and when asked to explain says that I must not be human, I don’t feel that my level of understanding is the issue lol The fact is, the way men here characterize what they think is the experience of single moms does not line up with the reality of our experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 07:48 PM
3

We don’t agree Again, bisexuality in women is fairly accepted in society now, so more women are feeling comfortable coming out, exploring their sexual identity, etc. This is not because it’s “trendy” now, it’s just that it wasn’t as normalized in previous generations, so women who were bi often just kept it to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:31 PM
3

This is not how sexuality works.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:20 PM
8

If it’s possible to just change your sexuality based on a “trend,” I’m curious if you would go suck a dick if it’s what the cool kids are doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 04:06 PM
6

Whether women want to fuck you isn’t a measure of whether you’re a good person, it isn’t a measure of anything other than your attractiveness to women. If only 5% of men are able to attract women, how do you explain the fact that most men have sex and have relationships? That makes zero sense lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:20 PM
1

This does not match my experience as a single mom lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:18 PM
4

I might think that was the case if single moms were actually lacking in dating options, or if any of the other things these men online were saying was true. The thing is, they’re making up a character and hating her. Men in the real world don’t behave like that, because they’re reacting to actual women who actually exist. The fact is that a lot of single moms were married when they had kids, and are actually the ones who initiated the divorce. Many were in long term relationships that didn’t wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:50 PM
2

No one is asking you to get involved with single moms. But it does make me wonder why you think you know what kind of sex they’re having.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 12:39 PM
8

😂😂 keep telling yourself that if it helps
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:59 AM
4

I’m pretty sure this is it. Women that the manosphere insists are “undesirable,” but are easily able to get dates and have normal relationships, are deeply upsetting to some of the men here.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:42 AM
0

I guess it will remain a mystery. Sorry I hurt your feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:31 AM
1

I guess it just seems to me like a wide umbrella term for anyone who’s parenting and not together with the other parent, I figure if someone wants the details of my specific situation then I can just tell them but I don’t know that there need to be different terms for different types of single parents. Or at least, I’m cringing to think what some of the terms would end up being lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:15 AM
4

I have genuinely only seen the single mom hate online, usually from men who I wouldn’t be interested in dating anyway lol In the real world, or at least in my real world, reactions to me being a single mom range from indifference (because it’s not like it’s uncommon) to support and telling me I’m doing a great job with it. People online are so fucking weird about it, I’ve never encountered men like the ones here. I’m glad they just stay online and I don’t have to actually encounter them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:09 AM
3

I don’t have a clue what about my comment was “disgusting,” but I’m sorry you feel that way
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:02 AM
0

How would you refer to the mom in scenario 1 then? That’s my situation (except instead of 50/50 I have the kids with me full time, since I’m the one who can support them, financially and otherwise) and I’m a “single mom.” I’m definitely not whatever the fuck some of the men on this sub think a single mom is though lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:45 AM
6

How is this even a question? Obviously cheating is worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:42 AM
20

It’s easier for women to identify as bi, it’s generally pretty socially accepted now. There’s a lot of bias and stigma against bisexual men, a lot of men who are bi stay in the closet because it will limit their dating options. It’s not necessarily that more women are bisexual, it’s that more women feel they can be open about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 10:58 PM
37

There’s been an increase in people being open about their bisexuality.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 10:39 PM
8

My lesbian friends have a lot of sex. Just because they’re not fucking in front of you doesn’t mean they don’t fuck lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 10:31 PM
47

I also know a few women my age (I’m an older millennial) who got divorced from a man and then remarried to a woman. These aren’t examples of “turning to same-sex relationships” because it didn’t work out with men. These are examples of women who are attracted to women but (due to family or society pressure) repressed that and tried to be ok in relationships with men. A lot of people my age grew up in families where being gay wasn’t accepted at all, so some are just now allowing themselves to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 10:18 PM
1

That’s not how you change the system. There have always been people who refuse to tip, it does nothing to change the system but does ruin the day of one person who has no power to change anything. You know what would actually change it? If businesses started paying workers enough and advertised that they don’t take tips. My hair salon does this, tips aren’t allowed and it’s honestly one of the reasons I go there, I would rather just know what I’m supposed to pay. But anyway, I’m not sure why peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 09:31 PM
31

I feel like most of these thoughts don’t happen in the minds of actual humans who date other actual humans. It’s such a crazy take on the whole thing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:03 PM
13

I’m not sure what that means, so I’m very sure I didn’t say it 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:36 PM
5

I’ve only ever seen that type of hate online, usually from men who the single moms I know would never want to date. In the real world, people are just fucking normal about it. Men who don’t want to date someone with a kid just don’t. There are a lot of men who are fine with dating a single mom. (also, what’s with this weird story men have in their heads that a single mom is someone who the dad decided wasn’t good enough to stick around for? I feel like the same people who see it that way are the…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:17 PM
11

I don’t know how I would feel about it if a man who didn’t want to marry me would do it if he got a free cow.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:12 PM
18

You’re not arguing that it should be legal, you’re arguing that prostitutes should be more attractive. Legalizing it won’t stop them from being pale lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:10 PM
-1

The people who think this way generally are the ones who think attractive = good looking, and don’t understand that the way they carry themselves, how they interact with people, etc are also part of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 01:59 PM
3

I know it might shock you, but a lot of women aren’t really “followers” of the men we date lol Neither person should have to chase the other. If you’re interested, ask someone out. If they’re not interested, don’t chase.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:43 PM
2

What was the point you were trying to illustrate with it? Are you trying to actually debate the topic you posted or just tell people which parts of it we’re allowed to respond to?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 12:29 PM
3

Which you posed as a reason why men shouldn’t be the ones to initiate. I’m saying that it’s not a relevant question, rhetorical or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:57 AM
2

Your OP is asking why a provider/protector would chase after someone to provide for or protect. I’m addressing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:55 AM
6

The men who chase aren’t usually running after women saying “let me protect and provide for you!!” They’re trying to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:43 AM
5

Or how much y sucks 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:52 AM
3

Yeah, it describes me but it’s not like a sexual identity or something. It just describes what turns me on
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:46 AM
9

Demisexual is just a fancy word for what you described in the OP. It’s nothing to do with the gender you’re attracted to, calm down.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:33 AM
9

I’m sorry you went through that. I’m confused about the claim that you’re only attracted to good character, if this is the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:31 AM
27

Based on some comments, this is very hard to understand lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 11:50 PM
2

Wow, I’m really flattered you think I’m powerful enough to have caused tipping culture! Alas, I am not as powerful as you believe, so the only person affected by my choice to tip is a server who has less than I do. Also, who said I expect men to pay for me? I have a good job, I can pay for myself, I wouldn’t go on a date without offering to split the check. One of the things I would notice on a date is how he treats people in service positions, because it’s an easy way to quickly see some charac…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 11:30 PM
2

If I was on a date with someone who didn’t believe in tipping, I would just tip the waiter myself and there would not be another date. What does this have to do with being “stingy,” and why are you so worked up about it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 11:17 PM
5

Well, I wouldn’t date a man like that. So it’s a non-issue. Someone who considers other people “nobodies” would not be a person I date.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 11:10 PM
2

This is…so much anger at the idea that I would follow basic etiquette in the place where I live. What the fuck lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 10:52 PM
2

Sure, if you’re wanting casual sex with attractive women then you probably need to be pretty attractive. That seems obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:03 PM
1

You’re not understanding. Cold approaching in public, there’s literally nothing but physical appearance to base it on, so it’s only the women who are able to feel attraction based on nothing but looks who would approach, and they’re probably only going to approach good looking men. I have no idea what the percentage is, it’s not relevant to the point. This doesn’t mean anything about the misguided claim that women only want the top 20% of men, because we don’t only want men based on looks. But i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:30 PM
1

I said fucking nothing about 20% lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:47 PM
30

Cool, they shouldn’t. Everyone should have standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:40 PM
2

Cold approaching is based on nothing but looks. Does it surprise you that only good looking men would be approached?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:40 PM
45

It’s not a statement that they’re happy. It’s a statement that they would be even less happy with the wrong person. Not sure how to say that more clearly for you. And incels haven’t accepted being single, they’re generally miserable with it by definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:23 PM
42

You fully missed my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:17 PM
4

Unattractive men shouldn’t be surprised when women don’t cold approach them based on nothing but looks. Cold approaching is literally based on nothing but liking how someone looks, which is one of the reason some women don’t prefer to be approached like that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:04 PM
180

“I’m happier staying single than I am being in a relationship with the wrong person” is not a statement about how much that person loves being single.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:42 PM
1

If you’re wanting women to cold approach based on nothing besides looks, then yes, that is what would happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:16 PM
0

Some women do approach. The men who complain about women not approaching wouldn’t be happy if women did all the approaching, because they probably still wouldn’t get approached
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:30 PM
–

I would be so put off if a man asked me to guess his lol. There’s just no way to answer it that would make a man happy, if he’s insecure enough to ask this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:05 PM
–

Your own anecdotal experience is what? If anything, I would think women might slightly overestimate, since men tend to round up when reporting their own size (so most women have been with at least one man who described his as 6 inches when it was not)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:03 PM
–

Some women don’t want over 6 inches. Everyone has preferences (and some vaginas can’t handle more than that). Why do you only believe certain people when they tell you their personal preference?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:55 PM
2

Yeah, George Michael no longer being a sex symbol for women, once it was revealed that he doesn’t have sex with women, wasn’t about masculinity lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:53 PM
–

Some men are genuinely attracted to small boobs. Some women genuinely don’t want huge dicks. Why do you only believe one of those statements?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:53 PM
3

Biphobia among women, specifically toward bi men is very real. And it sucks. (those of us who say we genuinely wouldn’t care if our partner was bi aren’t virtue signaling, some of us really wouldn’t care. But the reality is that a lot of women do care) From what I’ve been able to understand, though, at least a large part of it isn’t so much a perception of masculinity, it’s more bi erasure, where people will question whether a man who says he’s bi is actually closeted gay. Some women who find ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:47 PM
0

Yeah, I get that. I’m not saying men should be able to just not care if they’re perceived as masculine, when society still has a long way to go with this. I just meant that masculinity and heterosexuality are not synonymous, and our concept of masculine needs to evolve more to where this doesn’t need to be said. There are men who don’t seem fragile in their masculinity (and not just ones that the OP mentioned, where they weren’t masculine in the first place). I know men who are very masculine-pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:40 PM
1

You don’t have to do anything. Mostly just curious if you’re one of the many on here who shouts down women if we try to say that we’re not all chasing the tallest “Chad” type
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:27 PM
1

They’re not synonymous, they’re unfortunately tied together in some people’s minds. But there are some very stereotypically masculine gay men. There’s no actual loss of masculinity if a man has sex with another man, it’s just straight up homophobia.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:26 PM
10

You seem to think masculinity and heterosexuality are synonymous. They’re not. The masculinity that’s fragile is the performative type. Men who feel they have to display their masculinity are the least secure in it, so obviously that sense of masculinity is easy to shake.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:10 PM
1

Ok then. Well, I expect you’ll be the loudest voice the next time someone tries to say women don’t care about personality and only care how tall you are. Since you clearly can see that’s not the case
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:05 PM
6

I agree the expectation of tipping is out of hand. Refusing to tip punishes the low wage worker and doesn’t change the system. If you want to take a stand against the expectation of tipping, refuse to spend money in places that require a tip
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:52 PM
5

It sounds like not everyone agrees with you about them, if these supposedly inferior men are doing fine socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:45 PM
3

I mean, if you’re not willing to follow the basic social norms that might be best. If I moved to another country I would do my best to learn about the culture and try not to do things that would be considered rude, that’s just basic being a good human.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:13 PM
2

If you were raised in one culture, but now live in another culture, it’s important to understand the culture where you’re now choosing to live and realize which things are making you look like an asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:58 PM
6

By that logic, you shouldn’t be going out to eat at all when your money could be better spent elsewhere. Most women would find that to be an odd and flimsy excuse. If you live somewhere that tipping is considered a necessity, trying to find ways to get out of tipping makes you look petty and cheap.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:31 PM
1

Men: I wonder why she’s with that ugly guy? Must have a big dick! You: omg I just proved women care about dick size!!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:28 PM
6

What makes you believe people are genetically inferior to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:25 PM
11

Where I live, servers do rely on tips in order to make a living wage. I don’t like that it’s this way, but taking a stand against tipping by refusing to tip enough only hurts the server and does nothing to change the system. If you’re morally against tipping, don’t do things where tipping is expected. This would be a dealbreaker for me, if someone thought it was ok to screw over a low wage worker just to make a point.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:21 PM
1

I’m not saying the feeling isn’t valid. It’s more just the choice of approach to it, or to any negative in your life. You can choose to work with what you have and make the best of it, or you can choose to blame other people for it and become angry and bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:50 AM
1

Sure, they’re allowed to do whatever. But doing that (faking friendship with someone just in an attempt to get sex, then turning around and getting angry when you don’t get sex) is a shitty thing to do to someone. Me being a good friend to someone who appeared to want my friendship, then saying no to sex when I never gave them any reason to think I wanted sex with them, is not a shitty thing to do. The fact that the rejected men in these situations are able to reframe it in their minds so the wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:07 AM
1

I don’t hate men, and I don’t divide men by “value” and selectively hate those of a certain value. Disagreement isn’t hatred. I do disagree with the doom and gloom approach that some of the men here take to dating, it’s very self defeating and also it’s quite annoying to me when the men like this feel the need to tell me what they think I think, rather than hearing what I’m saying. But I don’t hate them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 12:01 AM
2

It’s not a matter of entitlement, but I don’t typically appreciate it when someone is angry at me when I did nothing wrong. Not wanting to date someone isn’t me doing something wrong. So if someone who I thought was a friend suddenly turns cold and angry on me because I don’t want a sexual relationship, it’s hurtful. I’m allowed to feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:46 PM
1

My only “bias,” if you want to call it that, is with the men who angrily take out their dating frustrations on women, as if we’re supposed to pity fuck you to make things more fair. But anyway, it looks like you’re in agreement with my actual comment, that women who have had toxic relationships are not really at all equivalent to “sad virgin men.” Since you’re saying that I can’t possibly understand the mindset of those men, and I’m a woman who has had toxic relationships in the past. So I think…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:45 PM
-1

Not a good one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:38 PM
-2

I feel like this OP was written by someone really young? The idea that someone who can’t attract girls to the awkward teenage version of himself is doomed to be a virgin forever makes no sense. At least fully grow up before you decide you’re fatally unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:37 PM
-3

I’m not talking about people who realize they have romantic feelings for a friend. This is about people who complain about the “friendzone.” As if being your friend is something evil a woman is doing to you, and she’s depriving you of a relationship that you’re somehow owed because you put in the time as her friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:18 PM
2

You didn’t answer whether you’re a parent. I am, and it’s not fucking virtue signaling to say that I’m not concerned with the “hotness” of who my children date. Like wtf even is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 10:22 PM
1

Sure, I don’t think anything I said is contrary to that. Similarly, someone can be physically attractive but not turn me on. Because I do need the mental connection. Not everyone is the same with it, some just need the physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 10:11 PM
2

Ok, but the surgeon’s value to you is literally his job. So all that matters is that he does it well. If you’re not friends or have a personal relationship with him then it doesn’t matter what his motivations are. With a friendship or romantic relationship, feelings and intentions do matter. If someone is playing on your feelings in order to get close enough to use you, that’s a problem. That’s what you were describing wanting to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:57 PM
3

That’s very Machiavellian of you lol They’re not irrelevant, though. It’s why there are different sentences for the same murder depending on intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:52 PM
0

Your motivations and intentions are important. They’re not irrelevant here.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:50 PM
5

That’s not saying the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:45 PM
7

Well, this is horrifying.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:38 PM
8

I’ve had this happen to me a number of times. I wish I could just get more jaded and be on guard for it, but I always actually think we’re friends, and he values my friendship, and end up feeling totally hurt when I realize he fuckzoned me. Men who complain about the “friendzone,” when they haven’t been honest and have led a woman to believe they actually value her as a friend, are really self-centered. I’ve never seen one of these men acknowledge how hurtful it is to the person they faked a fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:22 PM
1

I’m addressing OP’s claim that escorts are a better option than real relationships or connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:47 PM
1

And I’m saying if that’s how he feels then it sounds like this is a good option for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:46 PM
1

Are we talking about supermodels? And about completely broke men? Why is it always extremes? If a woman says she doesn’t date men for their money the response is “oh, so you want a homeless man??” If a woman says she cares about more than looks, it’s “oh, so you’ll date a 5’0 500lb man??” It’s just depressing, and the thing that’s the most depressing is realizing that a number of the men here really see the world like this and don’t see the flaws in that kind of “logic”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:38 PM
2

Yes, I assume most men leave when they’re finished with a prostitute. I don’t know what your point is, though
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:34 PM
2

Your perspective on attractiveness and people’s value is so far removed from mine that I don’t think we can discuss this and be talking about the same thing. You literally see women as worth a certain amount of money to you based on appearance. Not everyone looks at the world the same way as you, you’re trying to make everyone’s behavior patterns fit into your perspective and that’s where the dissonance is…a lot of people do value human connection, and care about each other. It’s so weird when p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:25 PM
0

I’m sorry that the women you’ve met are like that. There are definitely women who love men, this is such a fucking depressing way to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:14 PM
4

It is, it sounds very unsatisfying to anyone who cares about the person they have sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:13 PM
5

If my daughters get married, I want them to marry someone who loves them and treats them well. How fucking weird to hope your daughter finds a “hot” man…are you actually a parent? Or just talking hypothetically?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:13 PM
2

We have different definitions of love.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:11 PM
2

How does any of this relate to what I said? If you’re some average guy who’s only interested in 10s then it will be difficult for you. A man who only cares about a woman’s appearance is likely to get an equally shallow woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:10 PM
8

Did I say unconditionally? That’s an unrealistic expectation in a relationship of choice. I love my kids unconditionally, I can leave a relationship if it’s not working.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:08 PM
1

It really doesn’t, not for everyone. There are plenty of people who are capable of loving someone for who they are. I think it’s sad how many people have such a jaded perspective on the world that they think love isn’t real.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:05 PM
7

If your needs for a relationship don’t include love, then it sounds like the second option would be fine for you. Many people do need to feel loved and wanted in a relationship, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:39 PM
4

This is such a weird approach to the physical aspects of a relationship. Whether and when to kiss on a first date is based on a mutual connection, if there’s attraction ideally you both are giving signals to each other and it happens naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:29 PM
1

You don’t think there are women who struggle to find relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:17 PM
6

Men say they want less makeup, but consistently choose the picture with more makeup (done well in a way to look natural) as more attractive in studies. Men who say they don’t like makeup usually mean they don’t like makeup that looks fake. It’s not a matter of not saying what you mean, I fully believe that the men who say this do actually think it’s how they feel about it. But if a woman showed up on a date without fixing her hair, with skin blemishes or dark circles under her eyes, dry chapped …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:16 PM
7

I’m not saying the “dolled up look,” a lot of men don’t actually understand makeup and women’s beauty routines, and think that the more time/effort spent means a woman will look like she’s wearing more makeup. Obviously most men don’t want a woman who shows up in clown makeup, I’m saying that “natural beauty” look you’re saying you like actually takes longer lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 03:53 PM
14

There’s just no point trying to argue this, non-rich men can have loving relationships, average-looking men can, too. But if you’re convinced in your way of thinking, you’ll just dismiss that fact by saying the women settled or whatever. I really don’t understand why the men here have this need to see the world this way. It’s really depressing, and it’s not the reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 03:24 PM
12

It’s sad that the only possible options in your mind are money or looks. As if those are the only things that a man could have going for him, and it’s not possible for him to be loved for who he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:42 PM
1

Ok 🤷🏻‍♀️ If you enjoy it, then it sounds like it’s a good option for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:35 PM
5

I fully believe that someone you’re paying for sex will do as good a job as she can acting like she wants you and enjoys it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:18 PM
12

You say being dolled up means nothing to you, but if a woman actually showed up on a date with zero effort on her appearance you would mind that. If the women you date can’t hold a conversation, it sounds like they’re not ones you’d want to date, regardless of effort (being able to converse isn’t a matter of effort) Some women are fine splitting the bill on a date. If that’s what you want, be clear about it up front. Expecting a woman to put aside everyone else and make a commitment to you on a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:17 PM
21

If a man feels wanted and loved with someone who he’s paying to be there, then it sounds like escorts are a good option for him
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:13 PM
11

Is it your opinion that an escort who says she enjoyed it would be telling the truth? I don’t relate to wanting sex with someone who doesn’t want me. The idea of that sounds repulsive to me, so it’s not something I can relate to at all. I understand that there are some men who are ok with that, and can enjoy sex with escorts. To me it just sounds like a super expensive fleshlight, but my opinion doesn’t really matter, if you’re happy then that’s fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:02 PM
14

I’m curious, what counts as effort to you? Because all the women I know put in a lot of effort to go on a date, and many complain that they got all dolled up and the guy showed up looking like he just rolled out of bed lol By “effort” do you mean consenting to sex on the first date?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:59 PM
17

Yes I did. There are people who can’t “have a good time” with sex if the other person doesn’t want it. So for people who do care whether the person they’re fucking actually likes or wants them, this wouldn’t be a good option. If you or anyone else doesn’t care about that, then by all means just find an escort.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:54 PM
13

I’m not shaming them. Definitely don’t date women who put in zero effort and treat you like you owe them, that doesn’t sound like a fun date at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:53 PM
50

Sure, if you don’t care about being wanted or loved, and just want someone who will pretend to enjoy it in order to keep getting your money.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:48 PM
3

I don’t think it’s really the same at all. Someone who has had a toxic relationship, and then got out of it and moved forward, has most likely learned from the experience and figured out some things they won’t tolerate in another relationship. The difference is experiencing things and growing from them, vs being stuck in the same mindset and not growing. (edit: I’m comparing it in particular to “sad virgin men,” as you have in your title. Not virgins in general. I assume you mean the ones who ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 01:35 PM
9

Meek is generally a really unattractive quality, so that’s not surprising.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 06:21 PM
8

Kindness might not be the thing that turns her on, but why assume that someone kind couldn’t have other qualities that do turn her on?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 05:39 PM
45

This type of thinking really feels like it would apply to literally any woman over a certain age. Because either she has a past with relationships that didn’t work out, or she has a past of being alone and never finding a relationship before you (which comes with its own baggage). So all I hear with this way of thinking is that you want someone young enough that she hasn’t experienced anything yet. If someone has been through difficult relationships, does some soul searching and realizes what’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 05:34 PM
–

I think it’s just a matter of how you’re defining a “need.” When someone says that sex (or fidelity) is a need, they don’t mean they’ll literally die without it. They mean that it’s a need in order for them to want to continue the relationship. So the partner of someone with low libido won’t die without sex. But they might not remain in the relationship. And the partner of someone who cheats won’t die from it. But they might not want to remain in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 03:55 PM
–

Last I checked, people have relationships out of want, not need. We don’t base our feelings about our relationships on survival and whether we’ll literally die. What’s the point of reducing everything down to that?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:16 PM
–

Someone who’s this demanding of your time and attention before you’re even in a relationship is not going to become more chill about it. If you continue dating him, assume he’s going to expect you to continually account for where you are and what you’re doing, and apologize for it constantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:12 PM
–

But I think you explained a lot of it right there…the men who you know well aren’t this way, but the men you run into (and don’t know well) are. So the issue is that a lot of men have a public front that comes off this way, and you have to actually get to know him to see the deeper empathetic side. Most men don’t just wear their emotions on their sleeve, you have to actually know them on a deeper level to see that side, so it makes sense that you’re seeing the men you don’t know well as unempath…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:38 PM
9

This describes a number of men on this sub, but doesn’t describe men as a whole. This would be a really depressing way to view the entirety of the gender I’m attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:19 PM
–

Yeah, I just meant it as a light hearted comment, like it can be fun sometimes with someone I know respects me
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:26 AM
–

No, not what I meant at all! When you have an actual relationship you can play around with the dynamics like that, it doesn’t mean he actually sees me that way
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:16 AM
–

I wouldn’t say that, it’s kinda hot when the man I’m with treats me like his little sex doll. Just need a real connection first, it’s only hot being treated that way if I know he doesn’t actually see me like that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 01:57 AM
1

lol same, I work out regularly and stay in shape, but I’ve had kids via c-section, where they cut through some muscles that I can’t ever seem to get toned. Actual men in the real world don’t seem to mind a bit of belly pudge, but I’m sure the men on here would consider that obese, so decided to stay out of the conversation lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:51 PM
1

Yeah, I guess it’s the equivalent to how some women describe themselves as “curvy” when they mean morbidly obese lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:46 PM
1

Wait, is this not a dad bod?? Now I’m questioning the times I’ve said I like dad bods and whether it means what I think it means lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 09:54 PM
5

I’m definitely curious about all the women who answered this, and what level of fit they are lol
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 09:52 PM
–

It’s not about whether you’d be loyal going forward. It’s about being able to enjoy sex when you know the other person isn’t into it. To me that would signal a major incompatibility, I only enjoy sex when there’s mutual desire, and wouldn’t want sex with someone who doesn’t care if I want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:08 PM
–

I think it should be legalized (it’s illegal where I live), I don’t see anything wrong with this as long as there’s consent and safety. But you already go legally, so that’s not your issue…what is your complaint exactly? Is it worry that someone you date might have a problem with this being in your past? There’s not really a way you can change someone’s feelings about it, if someone isn’t ok with your past then they’re not.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:02 PM
22

Ok. You posted it as a question for women. Why did you post it that way, if you don’t want our answers and are just going to tell us what you think the answer is?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 06:29 PM
26

Why are you trying to insist that our fears come from movies when we’re telling you they come from real life experiences?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 06:26 PM
26

Ok, you were asking if our fears come from the entertainment industry. I find that depictions of assault in mainstream movies or shows don’t really stick with me or influence how I feel about it. However, the reality of being assaulted does stick with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 06:15 PM
24

What is it you’re saying needs to be challenged?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 06:02 PM
48

I don’t watch horror movies. I have lived being sexually assaulted.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 05:47 PM
23

My personality makes things awkward anyway, I’m not too worried about that. And it’s nothing to do with social cohesion. But you can continue to tell me what you think I think, I won’t stop you. Again, choosing not to say every mean thought in your head isn’t dishonesty.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:38 PM
31

Politely turning someone down isn’t dishonest. The reason I’m saying no is because I don’t want to date him. I don’t feel like it’s beneficial to me or him for me to also give him a list of insults on top of that. Also, judging from the way the men here are about it, if I did give him some actual feedback he would probably walk away thinking “those are lies, it’s just my height.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:10 PM
34

I value my safety more than I value some random guy’s need for blunt feedback.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 07:34 AM
1

There’s quite a bit of space between platonic friendship and “wanna smash.” Do you feel like those are the only two options? The whole friendzone thing isn’t about the initial approach, yes it’s great to get to know someone first. But if you’re hanging out together in a platonic way, acting as if you enjoy her as a friend, but really if it’s not going to lead to sex her friendship means nothing to you? Yeah, that’s shitty to waste her time like that. Some of us actually value friendships
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:51 AM
3

This is somehow mostly accurate, but also misses the point. Your description of this situation is so centered around the guy “being nice” and not being brave enough to say what he really wants. It’s not just “being nice,” it’s pretending to care about being someone’s friend. It’s faking a friendship in the hopes it will give you access to sex. I’ve been on the other side of this a number of times in my life, and it hurts when someone who I actually valued as a friend, who seemed to want to be fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 11:44 PM
–

Ok 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 08:20 PM
–

…how does that relate to literally anything being discussed?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:56 PM
–

You tell me, since you’re the one trying to date women. I have no experience in trying to get women lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:55 PM
–

Keeps working on the women who are ok with being just a number, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:48 PM
–

I wasn’t giving advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:47 PM
–

I’ve never understood bragging about this, but I figured maybe it impresses other men? In the early stages of dating there’s no expectation that he wouldn’t be seeing other people, I figure until you’ve actually talked about exclusivity it’s good to assume he might be going on other dates. But scheduling multiple women a week, sometimes at the same time? Whatever approach to dating that is, it’s a total turn off, no one wants to just be a number.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:30 PM
–

If you want to read that as literal and think I meant literally not a homosapien, rather than the obvious meaning (seeing women as objects rather than thinking about them as people), then I guess go ahead and think that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:26 PM
–

I guess I just assumed reading the OP that this advice was mostly for guys who aren’t looking for a long term relationship. An approach where you double book women and then decide who to cancel on doesn’t really indicate seeing women as people, or potential partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 07:10 PM
0

If you’re someone who does approach women, then this is obviously not directed at you. There are quite a few men here who don’t approach, but complain about hypothetical responses from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 02:26 PM
1

There are some successful female comedians who are unattractive (although they have to make being unattractive part of their material, or it makes people uncomfortable). But I agree that in general, men do better at stand up type comedy, and not necessarily because of bias but because that particular type of comedy is more natural to men than women. A lot of women I know can be hilarious during a conversation or in a casual setting, but I don’t know any women whose natural sense of humor is the …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 12:48 PM
0

Permanently banned from a bar? Just from introducing yourself to someone?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 12:41 PM
3

How is it arrogant to not date men unless they want to date me? That feels pretty normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/25 11:34 AM
–

That seems like a much deeper philosophical question than this sub can handle lol If someone feels that they’re owed access to an unconsenting person, that’s clearly a problem. So we can talk all we want about philosophy and “what do we owe to our fellow humans,” but it won’t change the fact that someone who feels “I’ve put in enough effort, now I’m entitled to a relationship” has lost sight that there’s another complete human involved in that situation, who has every right not to want to date h…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:30 PM
14

I mostly wouldn’t trade anything about being a woman, but it does seem like it would be so nice to be taken seriously when I speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:14 PM
–

Ok, but if your effort isn’t attracting the type of woman you’re trying to date, what makes you think you’re entitled to them. If I was working hard on myself and not getting dates, I would look at what else I should work on. Rather than see it as “well, I put in x amount of effort, I’m entitled to have a man be attracted to me now”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:55 PM
–

No, this is not “victim blaming.” Because this is not a perpetrator/victim situation. Not consenting to date you isn’t abuse. Until you quit seeing it that way, you’re just going to stay locked in this pattern where you’re angry at women for not being attracted to you, and that angry energy is going to keep you from actually improving your own situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:51 PM
1

I mean, in theory it would be great if everyone could wear badges letting us know if they’re single, what they’re looking for, etc. Except, that’s basically what you have on dating apps, filtering by concrete numerical data instead of actually getting to know anyone to see if you have chemistry
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:49 PM
–

I don’t know, I know a lot of average looking, non-tall men with wives or girlfriends so clearly it’s not holding all men back.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:47 PM
–

What is it you think effort entitles you to get, exactly? Sex from a woman who doesn’t want it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 06:38 PM
–

If you’re not one of the ones who says that, then I’m not talking about you. It’s not something I hear anywhere other than Reddit really, the men I know irl are fucking normal people who have relationships and don’t mope around being bitter at the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:47 PM
0

I haven’t seen women saying it’s a good thing that men only try to meet women online. Men stopping with sending low effort messages on dating apps to anyone with boobs and a pulse is generally seen as good. Men who do approach in person being able to calmly take no for an answer is good. Being more social in general and actually putting yourself in spaces where you can get to know women is good. I don’t have sons, but I do have daughters. So I’m absolutely interested in understanding the dangero…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:45 PM
–

I agree it’s not something where we can just agree and fix it. And yet, there are daily cries from the men of Reddit for women to “take accountability” for their lack of dating success. So I’m left with the impression you want us to fix it, but don’t even know how
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:26 PM
–

Expressing frustration, and saying women need to “take accountability” and fix this problem for men, is absolutely acting entitled to those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:19 PM
1

What I’m talking about is that fact that I’ve had multiple conversations on here with guys who say women mock and reject them for approaching, that if they approach a woman they’ll get accused of harassment, etc. And when pressed, every one of them admits that they have literally never tried to ask a woman out. They’re assuming, based on hearing this stuff from other men, and having no success on dating apps (where they’re competing with a huge number of men for a really small pool of women), th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:18 PM
-3

Most of the ones claiming they would have no luck in real life have not actually tried to meet women in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:05 PM
–

Relationship crisis? No one is owed a relationship or sex. If you’re “helping out a few younger guys” help them get to a point where their entire sense of self doesn’t hinge on whether women like them on dating apps. You’re saying women are desperate for likes and validation, but from what I’ve seen most of the farming for likes is in an attempt to monetize, not because a bunch of followers is what their soul desires. This isn’t a problem that women have a responsibility to solve, there are men …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:01 PM
-1

But a lot of the women who are out being social are not on dating apps. I’ve never used a dating app, most of the single women I know haven’t either (or tried them for a month or two and deleted). So it’s not true that if you meet women out in the world they’re the exact same women who rejected you on an app.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:38 PM
7

The fewer fingers in me, the better, I don’t really get anything out of fingers inside me. Either just put your dick in there, or use your fingers on the clit. Also (I realize this is not at all on the topic of the thread, but it always needs to be said) if you’re going to finger a woman, trim your fucking nails and make sure there aren’t any sharp bits 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:34 PM
6

It does make me curious how different vaginas feel from each other. Like they’re all different sizes, so I would think men would be aware of that after being with at least two women, that they fit differently in one than another. This “bigger is better” thing is so deeply ingrained for men, I’m not sure if anything would get them to let go of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:12 PM
10

Yes, if by size you mean the perfect size for me in particular. Which isn’t the same thing as “bigger”
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:22 PM
6

It depends completely on how he uses it. You have to be aware of your size and then use it in the best way. So if it’s smaller, if you find the right angle the tip will rub right on a really good spot inside, and because there’s no worry he’ll hit my cervix he can thrust as hard as he wants. If it’s bigger it makes some positions easier (since he doesn’t keep slipping out) and he can reach spots inside me easier, but has to be more careful or I can get hurt. Basically skill > size
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 02:06 PM
10

I don’t understand why some people have heard red pill stuff and take it to mean that all men desire meaningless sex with random women. Lots of people still want (and have) actual relationships based on love and respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 01:59 PM
2

That would live up to expectations for me. That’s very average, and the men I’ve known with bigger dicks were all shorter. I don’t see tall and think big dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 01:56 PM
18

Is it just me or are we getting more penis posts than usual the last few days? It’s not that size doesn’t matter at all. It’s that for a majority of women, variations within the normal range of size don’t matter. There are outliers who really do care about size. I’m guessing those women are about as common as actual 8 inch dicks (so…not common) In addition, women aren’t usually getting out a ruler in the bedroom, so our perception of size is largely based on self-reported numbers. The men I’ve b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 01:55 PM
10

I’m short and not that strong and if my suitcase is heavy I can’t always get it in the overhead bin easily. Asking someone to help is embarrassing, so I usually just kind of struggle to do it myself, and almost always a man who can more easily reach comes and helps me. It feels like a really normal interaction to me, and there’s no motivation to it besides, this task that’s difficult to me is easier for someone taller, so often someone taller will offer to help. You’re fully within your rights t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:13 PM
9

Hitting the a spot feels great (but isn’t necessary for an orgasm). Hitting the cervix fucking hurts. They’re not the same thing, OP just keeps conflating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:15 AM
9

I don’t need Google to tell me how it feels when my cervix gets punched. I was suggesting that you Google it, since you don’t know from having a cervix, and clearly are confused. If by “bigger guys” you mean average or slightly above, sure. If you’re under 5 inches you won’t be able to reach that one place. But you can reach all the nerve endings that are in the first 2-3 inches (that’s where almost all the sensation is), and if you’re really obsessed with trying to hit the “a spot” for your own…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:09 AM
13

And your point is not correct for all women. There’s not an answer that’s going to be correct for all women. We have different opinions and different vaginas, we don’t all like the same dicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:06 AM
12

Please show me research indicating we have cervix orgasms I’m kind of impressed by how arrogantly incorrect you are, like it takes courage to know next to nothing about vaginas and actually try to lecture women about their bodies lol
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:04 AM
19

No. You’re incorrect. Please stop trying to lecture women on our bodies. If you’re really this confused, just google erogenous zones and how far in they are (it’s like 4-5 inches in) Also, we don’t need to have every different type of orgasm to be having great sex. If a guy isn’t reaching that one spot, who fucking cares? Your understanding of women’s bodies is seriously lacking. Which is fine, I wouldn’t expect you to know as much about our bodies as we do. But why the fuck are you trying to te…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:02 AM
6

Depends entirely on the woman. Our vaginas are not all the same size. Hitting the cervix is not the same as this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:58 AM
22

Learn female anatomy if you’re going to try and lecture me on it, please. “A spot” is somewhat deep (but not “only monster dicks can reach this far” deep) but is before the cervix. It’s basically another angle to stimulate the clit like reaching the upper end of the clit but from the inside. You stimulate it when your dick rubs against the front wall there. The cervix is what you hit if you reach the end of the available space lol. If someone repeatedly pounds into my cervix it’s very painful an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:56 AM
15

A spot ≠ cervix Please at least learn the basics about vaginas before using them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:52 AM
29

Jesus dude, why not hear that individual women say different things on the topic, and conclude we have different preferences? Why do you instead conclude that we must not know our own bodies? And that clearly you must know more about our bodies than we do? Take a step back and think for a second. Just the fact that you refer to hitting the cervix as a pleasurable thing. Fucking ouch! I’ve had my cervix hit during sex before, and the last thing I want is for him to just keep giving me more of tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:51 AM
20

And this is why men don’t report it, because people like you are fucking dismissive. Men can be abused too, and it’s not taken seriously in a lot of cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:11 AM
22

This is all very accurate. I’ve never seen myself as being “in competition” with other women, if a man wants me then great…if he wants someone else then that’s great, too. I wouldn’t ever want a relationship where I had to try and convince him to be in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 04:06 AM
32

Probably depends on where you live. A more populated area there will be a bigger range of people. Most women I know aren’t on dating apps. The ones I know are…I don’t want to be mean, but they’re not my more attractive friends. The one I can think of who is really pretty and uses dating apps has some major mental health issues. There are some physically attractive women on dating apps, but they’re getting fucking bombarded with attention from the men on there. If you’re introverted you probably …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:42 AM
7

It depends a lot what you mean by provider. When my kids were little I stayed home with them, and my husband (at the time) was the primary source of income. When I think of someone being the provider, that’s more what I picture, basically a partnership where one person has more of the income-earning duties and the other has more of the home/family duties, but both actually are contributing something significant (not just sex) What you’re talking about is more of a sugar daddy type thing, free re…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 03:33 AM
4

“I have no hard feelings and it was an amicable breakup, but we had different goals and wanted different things in life, so we went our separate ways.” I don’t know the specifics of why she moved, but the fact is that the relationship wasn’t strong enough that you felt it was worth it to continue dating long distance, or moving with her, etc. So it’s entirely ok to make that clear, basically that your lives went in two different directions and it didn’t work out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:19 AM
6

It’s not a red flag not to have bad feelings about your ex…it may be that the “amazing person” part was a bit much and made it seem like you might be idealizing her. If a guy told me that his last relationship ended amicably, they ended on good terms and he has no hard feelings, but it ultimately didn’t work out, that’s totally fine. If he said that he thinks she’s amazing and the only reason they broke up is because she had to move away, I would definitely wonder if he’s just killing time with …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 11:45 PM
5

It’s just men in general. My gay friends definitely think about dicks a lot lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:43 PM
7

It doesn’t stretch but the position of the cervix changes depending where a woman is in her cycle, so when the cervix is low (closer to the opening) there’s less room for length than when it’s high. So how big of a dick can fit in there does vary, but not by stretching it, it’s just based on differences in her cycle
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:42 PM
4

The amount of times I’ve seen men post around Reddit very sincerely asking women what ball size we prefer, as if any of us ever think about it or have a preference lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:30 PM
3

I actually love this about men, too…maybe not the dick size manifestos lol. But just the tendency to get really into something and want to put together a bunch of data points about it and find conclusions and present them, and then really earnestly believe that whoever they’re presenting it to will be amazed and agree. Basically every guy I’ve dated is this way about certain things, and I find it adorable (not in a condescending way, I think passion for a cause is attractive) I just wish the man…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:20 PM
7

Now explain why women don’t body shame big dicks Literally exactly what I said in the last comment. When someone wants to be mean, they go for what will hurt. Tell a guy his dick is too big and he’ll probably be flattered and not hear anything negative in that, even if it’s meant negatively. Tell a guy it’s too small and it will hurt him. Did I say that women play no role in developed insecurities? I definitely didn’t say that. But it’s not women as a whole, it’s specific women who said shitty t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:06 PM
3

I love the wholesomeness of thinking there is only one dude doing this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 10:02 PM
16

Yes exactly, I mean I wouldn’t date the leader of a gang for other reasons lol. But in general, education level is more of an indication of your class background than your actual intelligence. I grew up in a family where not going to college wasn’t an option. One of my siblings is not a terribly intelligent person but has a masters degree, because there just was that pressure and expectation. Meanwhile there are people who are highly intelligent, creative people who had to start working right ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:58 PM
10

Yeah, people say shitty things about men with small dicks, the people who say those things are shitty people though. Any actual good human doesn’t shame another person about their body. Sometimes people who want to be shitty will find the thing they know will cut the deepest and go there. For men, it’s dick size, anyone knows that the quickest way to shatter a man’s sense of self is to make him feel inadequate, penis-wise. So unfortunately there are women (and also a lot of men) who will go ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:53 PM
10

If it’s too big, it hurts. And some men with big ones think they’re going to be amazing in bed just because it’s big, which is absolutely not the case. A guy with a big dick who doesn’t know how to use it well fucking sucks, my cervix hurts thinking about it lol So there you go, negative things about large sizes. Which I know a lot of women agree with me on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:43 PM
9

Look at the threads that have been posted about duck size, and let me know if it’s men or women posting them. We do not care about your dicks. I care about my bf’s but not about the size, just about making it feel good lol. This is just a topic where men spend so much time and energy on it and most women don’t fucking care. (edit: I see my autocorrect had fun with this one, just going to leave it as duck size lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:29 PM
11

I still want to believe that someday, men will understand that we don’t fucking care. That we don’t all want a bigger one. That we have different preferences. That average is just fine for a majority of women. Someday men will understand this. But today is clearly not that day.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:08 PM
1

Are we talking about people who are part of “hookup culture,” whatever that is, or people who have had casual sex at least once in their lives? Because your number sounds like it’s definitely talking about the second one.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:05 PM
11

Lol…this is exactly why I’m more attracted to intelligent men who aren’t obsessed with their own education. I’m educated, too, but some people are just insufferable about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 09:03 PM
1

Yeah, fully agree with most of that. It probably would have been better if the OP better defined what they meant by “hookup culture.” I took it to mean a culture where most people are just casually hooking up all the time, but it’s very possible they meant something else, since it’s not really a defined thing. And you’re right about the way I talk about my one experience of “hooking up,” although I didn’t feel defensive when I wrote it…I was more just trying to indicate it was something that was…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 07:06 PM
63

It’s generally wanting to find someone you see as on your “level” intellectually. Which is a little dumb, because I’ve dated blue collar men who didn’t go to college who were really smart, and men with more degrees than I have who were educated but not intelligent in ways I find attractive. But generally among college educated people there’s a bias against those without a degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:25 PM
0

It’s not a matter of vilifying, it’s just that if someone isn’t attracted to you, being nice won’t change that. The only people who I’ve seen “vilified” around this topic are the ones who don’t understand that and feel that being nice entitles them to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 06:22 PM
2

I think we’re probably defining “hookup culture” differently and that’s part of the issue. I would take participating in hookup culture to mean someone is at least somewhat routinely having casual hookups with multiple partners. In order to really be a “culture” it has to be more than a one time occurrence. I mean, by the measure you quoted (people who “have had some sort of hookup experience”) that would put me in as part of hookup culture as well. Except, it was like 20 years ago, he was a fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 05:29 PM
1

Right, our perception is influenced by our own culture and mostly being around like-minded people. Which is why for these topics numbers are better than people just saying what the people they know do and trying to extrapolate anything from that about humans as a whole. Most stats I’ve seen on number of sexual partners suggest a majority of people don’t sleep around. Do you have studies to the contrary?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:27 PM
0

Being nice/polite is not by itself an attractive quality. And it’s not the same as being kind. So yeah, if I’m not attracted to someone, him being a “nice guy” won’t change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:34 PM
3

Just makes me think of the friends episode, with the really hot girl who has a disgusting apartment lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 02:54 PM
3

Strong, emotionally intelligent men are great. Men who would actually call themselves an “alpha” are a hard pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:49 PM
2

I’m also wondering where the hostility is in this thread. Unless you mean your own posts, because I do see that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:48 PM
6

You think half of women are sleeping around and have lots of sexual partners? That…doesn’t match reality at all. Source please for half of all women having casual hookups?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 01:25 PM
1

Yeah, OP has a post here every couple days and I’ll just say I strongly disagree with her on many things.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 12:07 PM
10

Truth. In my 40s, absolutely zero interest in younger men, but get hit on by the young guys. It’s annoying, I hope I get old enough at some point that they quit with it, I don’t want to be your “milf” fantasy lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:24 AM
20

The men who get the most defensive here about age gap relationships seem to be the ones who can’t actually get younger women to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:20 AM
1

The problem with any numerical rating system is that people are generally terrible at rating themselves. Which is why you have some of the men on this sub claiming that none of the women who they consider their “looks match” will give them the time of day. And completely missing the point, that they’re likely rating themselves much higher than reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:18 AM
17

Is mine one of the ones you’re counting as an “angry response”? Because I assure you, I don’t give a shit who you personally want to date. All annoyance I’m expressing is at there being yet another one of these identical threads. Again, just date who you want. How does it affect you if someone else doesn’t approve of your relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:11 AM
1

I think it’s pointless to try and numerically match people and say who’s at an equivalent “level.” Men and women, in general, are attracted to different things, so the level you perceive yourself at might not actually match the level women would place you at. The level of men that I attract, that’s my level. The level of women you attract, that’s yours. You may not agree with where that places you, but it is, in fact, where you stand. Trying to use other measures to calculate it differently won’…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:09 AM
21

Dude, just date younger women if you want. Literally no one is stopping you. Why is there one of these posts every other day, trying to convince a bunch of strangers to cheer on your personal preference. Just do you, who fucking cares?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:02 AM
30

Most people don’t really participate in “hookup culture.” Not because the amount of choice makes it unsatisfying, but because meaningless sex is generally unsatisfying and not worth the risks involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 04:00 AM
1

I think that’s just over complicating things and trying to numerically calculate something that’s entirely based on people’s preferences. If you’re failing to attract people who meet your standards, either increase your own value or relax your standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/25 03:55 AM
5

I’ll word it more simply since you didn’t understand what I was saying. Niceness/politeness are not qualities that typically attract someone. Kindness is an entirely different thing than being nice or polite.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 11:11 PM
16

Yeah, I mean people can lie and access porn as well. At a certain point it’s on the parents to restrict access. But with something like this there should for sure be a content warning and age requirement clearly listed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 10:41 PM
4

I’m like this but with musical skills. Play an unusual instrument and you’re like 20x more likely to get my attention lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 10:25 PM
72

I’ll just repeat what I said on the first thread, that there’s no way this should have an age 12+ rating, but if adults want to play a fantasy game that’s fine. Even if their fantasy isn’t something the general public approves of. It’s not different than watching rape porn, which is a fairly popular category.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 10:14 PM
6

None of this is accurate. At all. A performative “nice guy” is often unattractive. Being passive, not expressing opinions, seeming like you don’t care can be unattractive (your example with going out to eat is in this category, I think) Kindness is an attractive quality. Being a good, caring man is attractive. You don’t seem like you understand women or attraction at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 10:12 PM
5

Same, really bad adhd that wasn’t diagnosed until my 20s because I was “well behaved.” One thing that has been fantastic to observe is how great a lot of the teachers are now at working with neurodivergent kids. One of my kids has adhd and her school experience has been so different than mine was, elementary teachers keep the kids physically active, some of them have sensory fidget toys in the classroom, or different kinds of seats they can try out (sitting on an exercise ball, etc). And it’s no…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:45 PM
2

There have been multiple threads on it in the last few days, there was one yesterday posted by a man, that gave a lot of concrete suggestions for his fellow men. And as predicted, the sad sack incel types came out in droves to insist that none of those suggestions would help. Despite not actually trying any of them. If you decide that women are this evil monolith that only cares about money, it’s a self fulfilling prophecy because you won’t actually try to approach since you’re not rich. So you …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:39 PM
5

You’re missing a big supporting point here, which is that generally shaming actually is more likely to backfire. Say you do effectively shame someone for being fat, you make them feel terrible about themselves, that person is actually more likely to develop disordered eating that results in weight gain (pattern of deprivation followed by binging, etc). They’re not going to suddenly have energy and motivation to hit the gym because they feel bad about themselves, it’s actually the opposite. Shame…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:35 PM
2

There are plenty of things you can do to increase your level of physical attractiveness, but this sub doesn’t like to hear about those so sure, tell yourself it’s just about money. I’ve noticed the men who say this are mostly ones who don’t have a lot of money, though, so it kind of feels like yet another excuse. Anything other than actually looking at yourself and seeing what you could improve if you want women to be attracted to you. (if you’re not able to attract women without money, having m…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:22 PM
2

I mean, they can think that if they want, doesn’t make it true but does give them something to blame besides themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:01 PM
1

Or…people are individuals, these things are true for some and not others. Any post that’s trying to paint an entire gender with one brush is just going to be so flawed and inaccurate. But let’s go through these… “You don’t care you just want sex” I’ve heard some women complain about this, and some men agree that it’s true. Reality is that some men are like this but plenty of men aren’t. Disagree with you that men don’t place importance on sex, though, I would say a majority of men do see sex as …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 06:29 PM
10

Why is there always a man who does this on the “question for women” threads?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:41 PM
68

If porn tells me a giant dick is better, and my body tells me it hurts, I’m gonna listen to my body 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:28 PM
4

There are some aspects of redpill that I don’t like, but can see their point and understand why it’s a message some men need to hear. The ones who get bitter with horrible personalities are generally the ones who only listen to the stuff about women, and ignore the stuff about how they can improve themselves and have more to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:10 PM
3

Physically: pretty big range of height (5’6 - 6’2) not skinny, it’s hard for me to be physically attracted to smaller-built men. (I did briefly date a fairly skinny guy but just didn’t feel attracted enough) strong but not overly muscular-looking (strong enough to easily lift me up, but more naturally strong rather than the whole bulging muscles, 6-pack thing) almost all darker hair/eyes (I don’t consciously choose this, but probably do prefer it) somewhat stereotypically masculine (lower voice,…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:05 PM
20

This is actually what red pill says. It’s just that there are some men who have latched onto like half of red pill ideology really hard, and ignore anything about how they can improve themselves or bring more to the table. The original concept of red pill, before a bunch of incels started falsely identifying with it, was basically saying exactly what you’re saying, that men need to actually bring something to the table in order for women to desire them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:40 PM
10

This is a pretty specific situation, and doesn’t really counter the idea that men mostly just want good sex and minimal conflict. The guy in your story wasn’t feeling sexually fulfilled in his marriage and went elsewhere…that’s pretty common. Also, despite the men in Reddit who are really loud with their hatred for single moms, those of us who are actually single moms know that we’re not at all lacking in dating options, there are plenty of men who are fine dating a woman with kids. So basically…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:13 PM
7

You think you know my thoughts on pussies? Definitely haven’t ever expressed anything about that on Reddit, but think what you think I guess lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:54 PM
11

I have never said anything like that, don’t put words in my mouth and then get upset about them lol
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:42 PM
3

Most of us don’t approach. I have literally never approached a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:36 PM
2

In what world was that an attack on you? 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:52 PM
2

I didn’t say most men have “so many options,” where is that coming from? That’s not even relevant to this topic, did you throw in this random thing so you can argue against that rather than staying on topic?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:51 PM
3

If you mean that the man who posed this question and assumed that we would fly into a “jealous rage” if we see an attractive woman was projecting a lot, then yes I agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:27 PM
11

Notice there aren’t even links for all this “research.” But from the titles of the articles, it appears these are studies on either which penises women find aesthetically better (not which ones feel good), or a lot of self-reported stuff from women who might not actually know what size the men they’ve been with are (I’ve been with a range of size, all guys at some point seem to mention unprompted what their size is, the ones under 6 inches all just say 6 inches lol)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:56 PM
6

I have 🤷🏻‍♀️ Didn’t matter to me
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:52 PM
4

Makes sense, probably one of the below-average men who spends his life seething with jealousy because models don’t want him.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:47 PM
29

Ok, and you’re asking us if we’re lying about it on Reddit, and I’m letting you know that personally, I am not. I can also tell you that in the conversations I’ve had with other women on the topic, who would have zero motivation to lie to each other about it, everyone feels roughly the same way: that average is plenty, the big ones just hurt, and that we just don’t spend much time thinking about penis size…the only time this ever comes up among women is because someone is dealing with a man bein…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:22 PM
30

Not everyone has the same “Goldilocks size.” Our vaginas are different sizes too, one size does not fit all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:14 PM
20

Generally, if I say that size doesn’t matter much to me, I get downvoted and screamed at by insecure men. So no, definitely not for karma lol 9 inches is a giant dick lol The biggest I’ve been with is just under 8 and that’s a LOT. Average dick (which is well under 6 inches) is plenty of dick. The smallest I’ve been with was just under 4 and it made certain positions a little harder just since there wasn’t a lot of length to work with, but in the right positions that was also plenty of dick. Ser…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:12 PM
4

I thought the general complaint here is that women don’t ever approach or go after men. So which is it? Are we all not going after men, or are we all desperately chasing the same one? Or is it just whichever option fits your narrative that day? Also, assume for a second that you’re correct here…you said “the best men they can get,” so if someone is more attractive than me, her best option is not my best option. So you don’t even make sense with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:09 PM
27

I can’t speak to what other women do. I know that I don’t lie about it, and I’ve all but given up on answering questions along these lines because when I do there are always men who shriek at me that I’m lying and I do actually want a giant porn star dick. Size queens exists. Women who don’t care about size exist. A lot of us have a vague preference of “big enough that he can get it in and thrust a bit, not big enough to hurt me.” What reason would we have to lie anonymously on reddit about our …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:06 PM
8

Is someone forcing you to watch it?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 11:30 AM
7

Who is suggesting giving children access to it? Parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing, it’s not on everyone else to make sure everything is PG just in case someone isn’t parenting well.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 11:27 AM
32

lol at “a jealous rage”…how old are the people you’re picturing in this scenario? They’re at work, so I figure they weren’t children. I don’t feel threatened or jealous when a woman is more attractive. If a guy would rather go chase her, then he’s free to do so, there are other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 11:20 AM
3

Do you understand that I said “you should be able to walk away,” not “you should walk away”?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:29 AM
6

Those numbers would be different if more men knew how to looksmax and actually appeal to women. But it’s irrelevant to this topic anyway, because regardless of how many women meet your standards, you’re still putting a condition on it. There’s nothing wrong with conditions, you should have standards. You shouldn’t just vow to blindly love someone no matter what, just because she is somewhat hot and smiles at you or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:26 AM
5

Ok, and I didn’t mean (or say) “walk away the first moment you’re unhappy.” Although that’s actually very much your right to do as well. If your relationship overall is making you unhappy, you have every right to leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:20 AM
–

They don’t say that’s what they’re mad about, they just write little rants about how they should be allowed to have that preference, when literally no one is stopping them from having a preference. When pressed to actually talk about what the problem is, since no one is telling them they have to date women who don’t meet their standard, it comes out that they’re basically complaining that they can’t find anyone who meets their standard. So the actual complaint isn’t that they’re not allowed to h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:19 AM
10

Her being hot seems to be a condition, the way you describe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:34 AM
6

Unconditional is unconditional. You’re putting the conditions on it that you find acceptable, just like I am…which makes it not unconditional
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 02:01 AM
–

Replace fuck with date/marry then.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:35 AM
6

It’s not a strategy that is working or not, I don’t understand what you’re asking. Is it your opinion that no one should ever walk away from a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:34 AM
5

Yikes dude
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:15 AM
–

Men can have whatever standards they want. It’s only a problem when a man whines that none of the women who meet those standards are consenting to fuck him, and gets mad at all women about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:14 AM
–

Not on a regular basis, but I’ve watched it. Why do you ask?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:05 AM
–

I feel that’s their choice 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 01:05 AM
8

Thanks, didn’t mean to make it all about my shit though, just realized why the whole demanding unconditional love thing bothers me so much!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:59 AM
15

The only person who’s said this to me irl was my abusive ex. When I broke up with him he spent months sending angry messages to me and everyone I know, and one of the main themes of these messages was that I was supposed to love him unconditionally, and because I ended the relationship it showed I didn’t understand unconditional love, etc. I’ve never heard a mentally stable person say it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 12:42 AM
3

I’m not encouraging just walking away from a good relationship the first time something goes a little bit wrong, but definitely I would advise anyone to continually evaluate their relationship and take action if it’s not good. Which means communicate, try to resolve issues, and if there are major issues that can’t be resolved, it’s ok to walk away. And I would advise anyone to end the relationship immediately if there’s any physical violence. Again, not saying give up instantly on a good relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:28 PM
8

Yes, I agree with that. I wasn’t saying just give up on a relationship if it’s not going perfectly, just that it’s not unconditional if there are conditions that would make you walk away. Which there are, when it’s a relationship you’ve chosen.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 11:05 PM
8

Standing by someone during times of hardship is a really good thing. That’s a sign of a good, committed relationship. Unconditional means no matter what. It means if someone hits you, you still love them. If they yell at you constantly, you still love them. If they spend years putting zero effort into the relationship while taking all your energy, you still love them. That’s not a healthy way to view a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:44 PM
17

I didn’t say walk away the moment you face difficulty. I said you’re allowed to walk away. No matter what my kids do, I’m still their mom and I still love them. This doesn’t apply to relationships of choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:42 PM
44

Unconditional love shouldn’t exist in a romantic relationship. You should be able to walk away when a relationship doesn’t make you happy. I have no idea why the men here claim that men love unconditionally and women don’t, this is a claim I’ve never heard outside of this little corner of the internet. The thing I find most baffling of all is that the men who say this often are actually talking about unrequited “love.” So basically they’ve built someone up as a fantasy and truly believe that the…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 10:12 PM
2

I don’t really understand why these messages from the red pill ideology get ignored, and a lot of men just latch onto the negativity toward women but don’t absorb any of the messages about self improvement. The number of men who will rant about how women have too high of standards and will reject all but the top men, etc, then in the next breath admit that they never actually approach women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:32 PM
6

Whoever is still out there convincing men that it’s “unmanly” to have a self care/beauty routine is really doing all of you a disservice. Grooming makes a huge difference, an average-looking man can either give “eww he looks like he just crawled out of his mom’s basement” or “ooh he’s kinda hot” based entirely on style and grooming.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:23 PM
7

This is all completely accurate, but there was a post a day or two ago saying the same thing and from the comments you would think it was asking something completely impossible, to look the best you can and develop social skills. Women already do this stuff, it is quite a bit of effort but we’re so used to doing it that it doesn’t feel like much. Men, if you actually just did all this (nothing suggested in the post should be impossible to do) you’d be ahead of like 95% of the men out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:09 PM
4

I can’t have a meaningful conversation about this if you’re locked into the 80/20 thing, it was a study done on a specific dating app, and the conclusions don’t even say what you think they say (when asked to rate men, it was skewed that way, but in terms of actual behavior women were more likely than men to message someone they hadn’t rated as highly, the study actually concluded that looks matter more to men) The 80/20 thing doesn’t relate in any way to approaching someone in public. Right now…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 08:01 PM
3

I mean, ok. It’s a very autistic way of looking at the world (I’m allowed to say that, I’m autistic lol). What I mean by not being numerical is that we can’t just pick hard and fast numbers for the things that influence attraction. And it’s a balance between all the factors, so someone who’s a little skinnier than I like (prefer bigger built men) I might be attracted if there were other things that mattered more, etc. In general, I can be attracted to anyone taller than me (I’m very short), I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:25 PM
1

It amazes me how taboo of a subject periods are, how many girls aren’t taught enough about their bodies, etc. There needs to be way more education so everyone can make informed choices. But not everyone has periods from hell. When I had them they were pretty light and I didn’t get PMS symptoms. I have an IUD because I’m done having kids and don’t want to have to think about birth control, but when I had a period it really didn’t bother me that much. Just had to do BJs only a few days a month lol…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:16 PM
2

Some of those things would likely make me not attracted to him. I didn’t say I don’t have standards, I said they’re not numerical. There’s not a specific height or weight or a specific income or whatever where it’s like “must be taller than this line to date me,” it’s overall attraction. Which is a combination of a lot of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:12 PM
7

It’s whether they answered it in a way that lines up with your own world view. Which you have displayed in your flair. Basically anything that isn’t fully trashing on women won’t be acceptable for you, kinda how “proud misogyny” works lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:11 PM
7

*for the one woman whose answers you liked You also told her which of her examples you didn’t like. How is anyone supposed to debate if we’re being told what we can and can’t say? This whole thread is kind of a train wreck because you don’t know how to hear anyone’s opinions besides your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:09 PM
2

You also were flabbergasted why more women aren’t making your same choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:07 PM
1

My “standards” are that I’m attracted to him and we have a mental/emotional connection. My standards are completely realistic, given that I’ve never had a point in my life where I didn’t know men who met those standards and wanted to date me. I’m not bothering with your link, since I’m assuming it’s numerical stuff like height and income. I don’t have “standards” like that, each person is an individual and numbers won’t determine whether I’m attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:06 PM
7

It’s just so weird of you to ask for people’s lists and then critique them. Like, not argue with the points in them, literally tell them whether you think they made a good list. This feels like homework assigned by a teacher who hates his job and just wants to fail the whole class lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 06:03 PM
2

Not the point of the thread, but yikes about the “menstruating lifestyle.” I have an IUD and love not having a period anymore, but some women have major side effects from any of the things that suppress menstruation. It’s not a simple “opt out” for some women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:55 PM
16

You could just save us time and tell us what answers you want, clearly you already have them in mind lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:51 PM
6

Sure, you did do that (along with some subtle digs at women mixed in there lol). And the first response from a woman you told her most of hers didn’t count. Which is exactly what I expected you would do if anyone actually answered.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:49 PM
13

With all due respect, why would we make a list to help fuel the negative thoughts a “proud misogynist” has about women? I’m sure you have a long list of your own lol
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 05:34 PM
8

For real, I didn’t even bother answering this one, because I wasn’t in the mood to have a man scream at me and tell me what I think about his penis. You’d think they would actually want to hear us on this one, if they ever heard what we’re saying about it they could let go of a lot of insecurity they’ve been holding onto.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 12:03 PM
2

Personality includes things like honesty, though. If someone has filtered people out by height, that’s not someone who’s going to change their mind because someone lied about it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 12:00 AM
14

Most men who say this are the same ones who will desperately hit on women of any age and then get mad that none of us want to fuck them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 11:47 PM
32

Only men who fetishize youth actually think there’s a “wall” at 25. So the whole argument about it is stupid, most men don’t actually stop being attracted to women if they’re over 25 lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 10:38 PM
4

I didn’t suggest anything. I said that lying about it will keep you from being able to date those of us who don’t care about height, because none of us want a liar.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 10:22 PM
6

Imagine if they not only threw a fit of rage, but came to you a day later saying they don’t like how YOU acted I have experienced this with men. A lot of us have. This is a toxic person, if the women you date are throwing fits of rage, then blaming you for it, don’t date those women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 10:00 PM
13

The problem is that men who see the world this way don’t realize that anger is an emotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:56 PM
20

So many posts telling people what standards they should have. Red pill men (and everyone else) can have whatever standards they want. They just shouldn’t get mad when the people who meet whatever those standards are don’t want to date them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:50 PM
4

Oh, I don’t think you’re lying, I fully believe that you see yourself as highly empathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:43 PM
7

Most of what you said seemed to lack an understanding of how emotions work. I wasn’t sure whether to engage on the overall topic when I wasn’t sure if you had a basic understanding about it. (I know this sounds super bitchy, I swear I’m not trying to sound that way! I can’t figure out a different way to say it)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:21 PM
8

Emotional and hormonal are not synonymous.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:13 PM
10

Being emotional leads to being hormonal? I’m not sure you understand how these things work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:50 PM
6

That’s just fully untrue lol There are both women and men who claim this, I think the same way about all of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:24 PM
6

Empaths…the Venn diagram of the people I’ve encountered who display high levels of empathy, and the people who call themselves “empaths” is just two separate circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:48 PM
14

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but men actually have hormones too. And emotions. I know it’s crazy, but it’s actually true! Again, you are so completely free to keep behaving like this toward women you date, just don’t be surprised when those relationships continue not working out.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:43 PM
7

I don’t care about money beyond whether he makes enough to live within his means. I do very much care whether we have shared goals, I have zero desire for a relationship that never progresses and where he just permanently lives with his parents. He could be a billionaire and if he doesn’t ever want to live together and move forward with the relationship I don’t want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:41 PM
6

What are you trying to debate? Most women who go on dates (as opposed to casual hookups) are evaluating whether you seem to have shared goals, and there’s any potential future. Most women who are dating and looking at a potential future would find someone who has no desire to ever get a real job or move out of his parents’ house to be incompatible with their lifestyle and goals. Unless you find someone who also just wants to casually date forever, never live with someone or build a future togeth…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:28 PM
4

Yep, there are women who are equivalent to this guy and shame men for being emotional, and that also sucks. Since you seem to agree with OP’s take on this (that men who don’t display empathy are fine and the only problem is women being too emotional), do you apply it in the other direction as well, and think that a woman who fails to show empathy toward a man and instead shames him for it is just fine?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:23 PM
19

Saying she’s hormonal and dramatic, and the issues she cares about are “mundane” is a great way to kill your relationships. But kudos for being open about your personality, at least, so women can avoid dealing with it!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:13 PM
9

This seems like way more words than necessary to say “be a good friend.” Most women don’t actually have guidelines for this shit, we just care about our friends and support them. And yes, men should absolutely do this too. Having emotionally supportive friends is great!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 06:11 PM
9

Yes, you did say overly empathetic. Then proceeded to rant about how you don’t care or empathize with a woman’s feelings if you consider the issue to be unimportant. So basically you only “empathize” if you feel the same way she does about it…which is agreement, not empathy. Your post showed that you don’t actually understand the definition of empathy, and for sure don’t show empathy in your relationships (even a tiny shred of empathy would get your brain to stop you before actually typing out t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:57 PM
5

Yeah, lying on dating profiles seems so stupid to me. Like there are women who don’t give a shit about height (I’m one of them, I’m very short so as long as he’s taller than me, which is 99% of men, I’m good) but would reject someone who had lied about it because honesty is important. So I can’t imagine how that ever leads to a good result, but I’d bet money the men who do this and get rejected are the ones who complain that they get rejected for their height (and miss the point that they’re get…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:54 PM
13

This makes no fucking sense lol Anyone, of any gender, isn’t being unrealistic to want empathy and emotional support from their partner. OP wrote about having zero empathy. This would make him a terrible partner, completely regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:49 PM
6

I understand it, there are enough whiny incel posts here that it’s pretty hard to miss really. What you’re not understanding is that your lack of dating success (and I recognize your screen name, the lack of success is definitely due in large part to major issues with your personality and expectations, rather than the things you blame for it) in no way relates to the dynamic that exists within a mutually consensual relationship. You’re whining that women you’re not even dating aren’t just magica…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:47 PM
16

Sounds like you have a really negative view of women, and it doesn’t surprise me that this (lack of empathy) is a problem that’s come up for you. As a grown ass woman it’s been a few decades since I’ve thrown a tantrum. If the women you’re dating are having legit tantrums, that’s not healthy behavior at all. Choose better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:42 PM
14

That wasn’t what that comment was talking about at all. It’s not about being teased with something, it’s that in a relationship (when you’re not asexual) sex and physical intimacy is part of the connection, if that’s missing it’s an unsatisfying relationship and a lot of us would choose not to continue it, and move on to a different relationship with someone more compatible. You’re just kind of sitting there getting mad at women you’re not dating for not providing you with sex. It’s not the same…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:39 PM
21

So, you feel that our expectations for emotional support are unrealistic and we’re demanding you be “overly empathetic,” but the rest of your post is showing you actually demonstrate zero empathy. So wanting any empathy or ability to understand feelings is unrealistic. Got it. Thankfully there are men who do actually have empathy, so most of us don’t need to settle for whatever this is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:32 PM
9

You are fundamentally misunderstanding a lot of basic things about sex and relationships, and I’m unsure how to help you understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 05:19 PM
12

For me a “wholesome relationship with an asexual” would be a friendship. I have those, I value my friendships. It’s not about “my ability to get sexually satisfied.” It’s about the fact that for me sex is an important part of a relationship, it’s one of the main ways I feel connected to him. I don’t want a relationship with no sexual intimacy. So I would choose not to be in that relationship, and instead seek a relationship with someone more compatible. None of this relates in any way to your in…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:40 PM
8

One woman says one thing. Another woman says another thing. OP: all women say both these things!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:28 PM
12

Mismatched libido (being stuck in a relationship where there’s not physical intimacy) is an entirely different thing than your inability to get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:25 PM
31

A really ineffective one lol
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:23 PM
57

I feel like there’s some sort of attempted gotcha here but I can’t even figure out what it is. Mismatched libidos (in either direction) create conflict and resentment in a relationship. I would prefer to be single than be with someone where we’re mismatched in that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:17 PM
27

Or, let people put whatever preferences they want. Personally, if a man wouldn’t want me due to some physical characteristic, I would like to know that information up front. Rather than having him pretend he’s just looking for personality, and secretly being unattracted. You can’t choose what people are attracted to, what’s the point of this post?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:42 PM
8

It’s pretty easy and common mid 30s. I don’t see people claiming it’s just as safe and easy in your 40s, everyone knows it’s much harder and riskier at that point. I’ve seen men’s age related issues pointed out not to say it’s the same as women, but as a counter to this idea that men can father children in their 60s and older, because people seem a lot less aware about the potential issues and often use the fact that men can still impregnate women when they’re old as justification for extreme ag…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:23 PM
9

I thought it was quite obvious that this was the reason you posted it, some sort of attempted gotcha for women. But the thing is that we’re not saying loneliness is trivial. We’re saying that getting angry at women for not wanting to date you is the completely wrong direction to take. None of it really relates to your hypothetical at all. Also, adding in the bit about not being able to use the money to help out our loved ones or make the world a better place, and needing to spend it on ourselves…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:19 PM
16

So basically just say “sorry, but fuck you” to my kids and go live a lavish lifestyle with some random friends? Literally the only way I would take the money and never have a romantic relationship is if it meant I could set my kids up for life, I would choose their happiness over mine. I have zero desire to go live it up with friends and basically abandon my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:17 PM
20

So spend a ton of money on my own hobbies and having an “active social life,” and not be able to spend any of the money on making sure my kids are set for life? I’m going out with friends all the time, and can’t ever offer to pick up the tab even though they all know I’m swimming in money? Basically just sit on a pile of money and hoard it for me? That doesn’t sound appealing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 12:07 PM
37

I have money and can always make more, a million isn’t even enough to quit working. There’s probably an amount large enough that I would take it, but not with the conditions you added there (can’t use it to support my family, only can spend it on me). Being alone forever with a big pile of money that I can’t use to make the world better or take care of my kids sounds like a miserable existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 11:56 AM
1

Most don’t. This is what I’ve been saying, and it clearly leaves room for the fact that a small number do. We’re not disagreeing lol Or are you trying to say there are a significant number of women who would pay for a date? If that’s what you’re saying, I would love to see a source for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 04:44 AM
1

There would be the question though. Like if you’re the one with money you’d be pretty naive not to at least suspect that your money is part of why this person agreed to the date, especially if you’re not particularly attractive and your date is.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:59 AM
2

I didn’t say gold diggers. But if a matchmaker is taking the man’s money to set him up with a woman who didn’t pay for the service, there’s going to be a financial imbalance. And men are generally more comfortable with that imbalance.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:53 AM
1

I guess I don’t know the relative costs because I’ve never done either. But I assume it’s the difference between a few dollars and a few thousand?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:47 AM
0

Why would I want someone who doesn’t actually want me and is responding to me only because I pay him to. Most women don’t want this at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:45 AM
1

Not women who can get it without paying. Which is a vast majority of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:43 AM
5

Probably because the male clients are willing to date people who are at least partially in it for the money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:42 AM
7

But there’s a difference between knowing your worth and not lowering standards vs paying someone and demanding they find someone who meets your standards and wants to date you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:35 AM
–

Got what banned? Men are not allowed to leave women alone? I’m so fucking confused by your entire comment, what am I missing??
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:24 AM
5

Because of the reality of dating dynamics. Men are much more willing to pay for sex or companionship, paying for something like this wouldn’t be out of the question for a lot of men, as long as they can easily spare the money for it. So you’d get a wider variety of men, and also they would be coming in with a bit more realistic awareness that they’re paying to get a date, and therefore likely to meet someone who likes their money. Most women would never pay for sex, companionship, etc. The only …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:22 AM
5

Not going to watch a YouTube clip so might be responding to the wrong thing here. But the idea of actually paying someone to find me a date sounds fucking humiliating and weird, and like not something most women who are capable of getting dates ourselves would consider doing. So I would imagine the female clients of professional matchmakers would be a particularly difficult type of woman…essentially the type who are not attracting any men out in the wild (so, physically unattractive) and believe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:10 AM
–

Literally every post I’ve seen on MGTOW every woman responds with “please feel free, go your own way, no one is stopping you!” And somehow the men here (who are very much still here obsessing over why women won’t date them, rather than going anywhere) still truly believe that women feel threatened by this. The men ranting about “going their own way” were failing to attract women in the first place. It’s very much a “you can’t fire me, I quit” approach, and then they expect us to be devastated at…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 03:03 AM
0

It depends entirely on your tone, and on how you continue the conversation afterward. A line so blatant like that would just sound like it was said in a joking way, if the guy saying it had a lighthearted tone Basically, you’re flirting and approaching with more confidence and also using silly lines, and assuming it has anything to do with the lines when really it’s just the confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 02:22 AM
1

Ok, and shameless flirting makes you a dirtbag how? Are you harassing these women and continuing to flirt when it’s unwanted? Are you getting into relationships with them and then treating them badly?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:53 PM
2

Why do you think being assertive means you’re a dirtbag? It’s not a secret that women are going to be more attracted to someone who’s confident and social, but I don’t see how this equates to being a less good person.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:38 PM
–

Men with low level jobs are so concerned about gold diggers. Men who can’t get laid are concerned about getting baby trapped and demanding mandatory paternity tests. On this sub there’s a whole lot of preemptive concern about problems people wish they had.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 10:55 PM
–

Agree with this, it’s the main reason I even read on this sub (and then get sucked into arguing lol). It’s really important for women to know the language that’s being used in the manosphere so we can identify it if we ever encounter it in the wild. I have teenage daughters, and I talk to them about this as well, I want them to know if they hear a guy unironically talking about “chads” or any of the other red pill talking points, that’s a guy who’s been heavily influenced by toxic people, and is…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 09:40 PM
0

?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 09:02 PM
1

Yeah…that’s literally what I was saying. I didn’t say nerdy guys can’t date hot girls, why argue like I said that? lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 07:38 PM
4

There are women who will get completely into all that stuff. The problem is that most of those women do not look like what these men are picturing when they say they want a girl who shares their interests. What they mean is that they want a hot girl who shares their interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 07:04 PM
2

Agree, I had an ex like that, he would explode with anger and scare the crap out of me, and when I reacted it was “I’m just expressing emotion, why can’t men express their feelings??”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 06:44 PM
3

Clearly, and hopefully men who find themselves in a relationship like that will have the self respect to walk away. I was just trying to let you know that your personal experience of being able to cry in front of your gf doesn’t mean that it’s that way for all men. I personally have never made a man feel weak for crying, but doesn’t mean it never happens with other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 04:23 PM
9

I think there’s some truth to this (that sometimes men describe being shamed for having emotions, and what actually happened is that they displayed emotions in an inappropriate way), but there’s a little more to it. A lot of men universally make all other men feel less many for displaying emotion. Women will often say that we want a man who shows emotions and isn’t afraid to cry, but in practice we only feel that way when a man seems masculine enough overall. So a strong, generally masculine-see…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 04:14 PM
1

I wouldn’t be able to decide if I’m attracted to someone based on a pic. That’s one of the many reasons I’ve never used dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 01:43 PM
10

Right, hence my question about grindr. If you were constantly bombarded with meaningless sexual attention you’d find it meaningless, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 01:12 PM
4

Yes, exactly this. Have higher standards, desperately hitting on anything that moves makes you appear low value, and no one benefits. But the idea that some men here have, that this desperation is inflating women’s egos so men should quit acting desperate to knock women down, is the totally wrong conclusion and doesn’t reflect reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 12:57 PM
8

I don’t know you, I assure you I don’t think a lot about what you think lol. What are you even trying to say with that? Such a weird comment Do I think a significant proportion of all women see sexual attention from men online as validation or an indication of our value? No, I don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 12:07 PM
11

Why don’t you tell me, it sounds like you already think you know. And while you’re at it, think about whether those women see thirsty comments from men and think “wow, that’s so flattering, my value must be very high” as opposed to “great, this horny loser gets me one follower closer to getting brand deals”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 12:01 PM
6

Please explain how that fits the definition of an “excuse.” I don’t know how to respond when it doesn’t make sense. Any woman who takes men being horny online as actual validation is very low on the critical thinking skills. I think what you may be seeing is the women who are hoping they can find a way to take all that sexual attention and leverage it to make some money.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:52 AM
7

I did say any woman with half a brain. The ones who go on dating apps for an ego boost might not fit that criteria. Seriously, only someone incredibly stupid would actually get an ego boost from men being thirsty online, men will be thirsty over anything. I get weird horny messages here on Reddit, where I have no pics of myself or anything at all about myself, any time a comment of mine mentions boobs or sometimes just mentions being female. Most women know, from just existing in the world, that…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:48 AM
27

Sexual attention from men isn’t “validation.” Any woman with half a brain is aware that a lot of men will fuck anything, that most messages they get on dating apps are from guys who sent the same message to every other girl on the app, that a man wanting to stick his dick in us means nothing at all about our value and everything about his level of horniness. Whenever men talk about this, I wonder why you think we take your sexual attention as validation. Is it because you would take it that way?…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 11:37 AM
1

Who is telling you to get taller? When there’s literally not a way to do that? Taller men in general have an easier time getting a date, but 1) it’s not impossible for shorter men to get dates, and 2) no one is saying get taller…we’re saying do work on the things that are within your control
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 09:59 PM
4

Right, like I already said it can be seen as transactional in a very broad sense, if you want to see it that way. But it’s not a straightforward “I’ll do this for you, now I expect this,” or at least it shouldn’t be that way. In a healthy relationship both people want to give their time and energy, and don’t keep score like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 09:38 PM
3

If you care about someone and enjoy their company, spending time together is something that you want, and not a transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 09:20 PM
5

I mean if you want to stretch the word transactional, and include things like emotional support, then sure. This post seems to see them as transactional only in terms of financial benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 09:08 PM
3

I do have a low view of men who can’t be bothered with basic hygiene. The men I actually date shower regularly and I don’t think I’ve ever once mentioned it because it’s pretty basic lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 08:54 PM
3

What is it you think I said men should be thankful for? Are you actually wanting to be praised for taking a shower? That’s such a low bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 08:29 PM
2

No one is saying get taller. But you can absolutely get cleaner or stronger. You can dress in a way that flatters your body type. You can find a hairstyle (and possibly facial hair) that brings out your best facial features. You can work on your posture and pay attention to how you’re carrying yourself (perception of confidence has a lot to do with this). There are a lot of things you can do to improve yourself, so why fixate on things like height that you can’t change?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 08:28 PM
2

Yeah, that would be a weird thing to have as the main thing you like about someone, since it’s a minimum standard for just basic functioning. Unfortunately, there are enough men who aren’t actually meeting this very low standard of hygiene that it does actually have to be mentioned sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 08:12 PM
14

It’s just part of the emotionally detached view people on this sub have of dating. When you see it as transactional, and don’t understand that people have emotional needs, then it’s easy to draw the conclusion that if there’s no financial benefit we shouldn’t be in relationships at all. Wanting to connect with someone, to love and be loved, are really normal human instincts. It’s something we’re wired to want.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:31 PM
22

No one is required to have a relationship. Some of us just want to. Love, companionship, having a person that you share everything with, having a sexual partner you feel safe with and trust, these are all reasons that I like having relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:20 PM
3

That’s pretty sad. Ignore this idiot and enjoy your sports leagues, it actually sounds like something most men would like in a woman lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:58 PM
7

I think men aren’t fully understanding the extent to which a majority of women already do this stuff, though. Most of us have hygiene and looking the best we can as part of our regular routine, we’ve been learning how to style ourselves to look the most attractive possible since we were really young. A lot of men really don’t learn this stuff growing up, so this suggestion sounds to you like saying you have to put in a crazy amount of effort when really what she’s saying is to match the effort m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:35 PM
7

That’s cool, date people whose lifestyles match up with yours. Some men complain that their wives/girlfriends only shop and go out to lunch and would totally love it if she got into sports. So don’t try to match with people who aren’t a good fit for you, there are plenty out there who don’t play softball 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:23 PM
4

I’m asking what it is about a woman partaking in an activity that upsets you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:16 PM
5

I can’t believe how triggered some men are by this. How is “be more social and smell good” difficult advice to follow? My guess is that the men who think they’re average looking and none of this stuff helps are actually far below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:14 PM
2

I’m trying to figure out what specific brand of woman hating this is…what women are playing children’s games in recreational sports leagues??
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:07 PM
5

No one is asking you to do anything. The men here complain about their lack of success in attracting women, OP gave some suggestions (and they’re extremely basic things such as good hygiene, none of the things listed involve an extreme amount of effort). Whether you take any of those suggestions is entirely your choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:05 PM
8

The men I know who play DND and similar things are all either married or in solid relationships. I’m not sure why the men here think having nerdy hobbies prevents men from dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 04:03 PM
3

Women aren’t a monolith on all things, but find me any woman anywhere who doesn’t want a man to have good hygiene and smell good. These are universal. And there’s a surprising number of men who don’t meet these really basic standards, then claim it’s all about their dick size or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 03:31 PM
7

It’s not a “rule.” It’s a study that was done on one dating site a while back that doesn’t actually say what you think it says. But men have latched onto it so hard because it allows them to avoid any accountability for their own dating lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 03:21 PM
2

Yes, I can see that you’re confused lol Is it your opinion that being well groomed, dressing to suit your body, and generally appearing well put together makes no difference to women? Because as a woman, I can confidently say this stuff does actually make a big difference to us. But keep thinking that it’s only the things out of your control that matter, don’t looks max or work on being more social, and let it become a self fulfilling prophecy 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 03:18 PM
2

Those are not the things mentioned in the OP. People are reacting to the OP as if it’s telling men to do something impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 03:10 PM
5

Her advice is to be well groomed and smell good, and make an effort to be a little more friendly and social. How is any of that unrealistic lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 02:38 PM
4

How is basic hygiene and grooming out of their control? It’s crazy how triggered men are getting at the suggestion they spend some time on grooming and smell good, and be friendlier and more social. One of the responses compared these things to winning a Nobel prize lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 02:36 PM
1

When I was married I felt like I was doing everything. Which was validated when I divorced him, he moved out, and literally the only extra thing I had to do was take the trash to the curb once a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 01:25 AM
1

Is it better to have two healthy invested parents than only one? Sure. Does that mean a single parent can’t raise a kid well? Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 12:58 AM
2

That is definitely an opinion. Mine is very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:32 PM
6

“in all cases conception should not proceed to childbirth” What did you mean by this, if not that women should be forced to end the pregnancy?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:19 PM
5

I don’t think it’s comparable. I never said that. Not sure why you’re intent on saying I did, but you do you 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:59 PM
5

That’s true, yes. I didn’t say abortion is the same thing, I asked where OP draws the line with his take on it…since he thinks women should be forced to have abortions due to men’s choices, we aren’t on the same page with basic morality
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:59 PM
9

Your OP is not about choosing an abortion, It’s about forcing abortions on women because of men’s choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:55 PM
9

No, I was asking how far OP would like to extend his insane take on things. If he thinks women should be forced to have abortions if the dad leaves, where exactly is his line? Because his line isn’t where it would be for most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:55 PM
14

Did I fucking say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:49 PM
17

Are you honestly saying that you think if the father sucks the mother should have to terminate the pregnancy? That’s a pretty wild take. What if the baby is born and then the father walks away. Should we just murder kids if the dad abandons them too?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 09:54 PM
2

Those are some interesting conclusions lol It’s very possible some of my friends read smut, if they do they for sure don’t talk about it. I also would be surprised if any of them are addicted to books, like most of the elements of addiction aren’t really present there. It more feels like something men say randomly in order to deflect from talking about their porn addictions 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 07:52 PM
2

Maybe. It seems like there’s this whole game that I don’t really understand how to play, and women wouldn’t do it unless there was some benefit, so maybe I’m missing out on the benefit. But I don’t really know, so I think it’s just ignorant bliss lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 07:48 PM
5

I’m not against porn at all, I’ll watch it with him lol Personally I wouldn’t want a relationship with someone who spends hours a day watching porn, or finds it “educational”
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 05:26 PM
4

Sorry, I meant the whole thing sounds unappealing. Also though, if you’re at the point where you’re living with someone, you either have to disclose the hours a day of porn, or spend a lot of time lying and hiding.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:58 PM
8

This sounds extremely unappealing, but happy for you that you’re able to find plenty of women who are good with it. Which points to the fact that we’re not a monolith with our thoughts on this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 04:21 PM
26

The men who are upset by this often seem to be less angry about their own lack of options, and more angry that women they perceive to be on their same level aren’t equally frustrated. It’s as if they accept on some level that they aren’t attractive to women, and would be fine accepting the fact as long as the women they perceive as unattractive are also alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 02:45 PM
2

I’m sure that’s true, but people who need me to play games in order to like me aren’t the ones I want to date anyway. Being direct and unable to play games hasn’t prevented me from having relationships with men I’m attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 01:34 PM
30

If I’m not attracted at all, I wouldn’t date him. I think the instances you’re talking about, where a woman falls in love once she knows someone on a deeper level, the part that’s missing is that she didn’t find him 0% attractive in the first place. Some of us don’t really feel that “spark” without an emotional connection, and can end up feeling a spark with anyone who falls into our general range of men who we could potentially be physically attracted to. There’s a fairly big range of looks tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:32 AM
11

How do you come to the conclusion that this is due to shame? Rather than due to us having a sense of how to behave appropriately?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:12 AM
3

I don’t care if he watches porn, just if he’s addicted to it. If he’s addicted, it will affect his life and his approach to sex, so it would become clear. If he just watches porn, that’s fine by me.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:07 AM
21

Some days I feel like autism spares me from having to deal with the games, since I don’t even really know how to play them. Being direct just feels so much easier for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 02:10 AM
25

For real. He wants to have sex with her, how is she “taking advantage of a power dynamic” by consenting? If a man chooses to fuck a woman, and then resents her for it, that sounds like a problem with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 07:00 PM
6

Source for the people addicted to books?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:27 PM
8

Yeah true, I get the sense the men who write little rants about how women don’t deserve commitment are the same men who can’t actually get any women to commit to them. Kind of a “you can’t fire me, I quit!” thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 01:06 PM
5

Men will fuck the ugly fat women though. That’s what they mean when they say they have low standards, because a lot of them will put their dick in anything. It’s just that they’re jealous of the men who can get someone better, so they spend a lot of time bitching about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 12:50 PM
3

Did you read all the way through the link you posted there? Just curious if you got to this part: An interesting twist discussed in Rudder’s post is that whereas men tend only to message the women they see as the most attractive, women also often message men further down the good-looks totem pole. This probably reflects the fact - also well-documented by evolutionary psychologists - that although both sexes prize good looks in a mate, men tend to prize them more. I discuss this difference in my …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:26 AM
3

Can I deal with you thinking that judging someone’s behavior is the same as being racist? I mean sure, I can deal with the fact you think that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:19 AM
7

Ok. Can you explain like I’m 5 why a genre of book being popular means it’s an addiction?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:18 AM
24

According to the men on this sub, I barely even qualify as a human deserving to exist lol (in my 40s, single mom). No one I encounter in the real world sees things that way though
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:17 AM
3

What a fucking wild leap in “logic” that was lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:14 AM
9

Ok? And that means people are addicted to it? If a tv show is popular does that automatically mean people are addicted to that too?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:13 AM
7

Yeah, average men do fine. I suspect the men who see themselves as “average” and rant about how women won’t give average men a chance are actually well below average.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:39 AM
10

I was more meaning that in my experience of dating it’s always the men who are pushing to define the relationship and have some sort of commitment. And generally don’t want to break up. So that all would indicate they weren’t after casual. But I guess men who have asked me out and I said no could have been after casual sex and I didn’t spend enough time with them to find out.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:23 AM
4

They won’t say what?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:12 AM
26

Yeah, I guess I usually base my observations of people on real life rather than TikTok
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:07 AM
65

Most men I’ve dated (or considered dating) were wanting a relationship, in my experience men actually tend to jump to wanting a commitment sooner than I do. But I constantly hear about men who are just after casual sex, there are a number of men here on this sub who post little rants about how women are only good for sex, marriage doesn’t benefit them, etc. So I figure this must be true for a good number of men, and those just aren’t the ones I encounter. But anecdotally, this isn’t actually som…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:03 AM
2

So yes, pretty much exactly what you said at the end there…you just have to decide if a relationship is important enough to you to be worth putting in the work. When you think about a relationship that you want, what are you picturing? If you don’t really like spending time with people, don’t want to travel or go out, etc. Would your ideal match be someone who is the same way and will just stay in with you all the time? Or is it someone social who has plenty of friends and other things going on,…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 03:42 AM
0

I didn’t say you can’t be both horny and lonely. I’m saying that casual sex (which seems to be the goal for most red pill types) isn’t a cure for loneliness. Only personal connections and emotional support will help with it
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 03:19 AM
26

I’ve never read a “romance novel,” so can’t help you there. I don’t think I’m aware of any women addicted to them 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 03:17 AM
67

I don’t criticize men for consuming porn. I can choose not to date/fuck men who are addicted to porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 01:46 AM
6

They’re the same men that bitch about how women don’t have to do anything in order to get male attention. So which is it? Are we all desperate and competing with each other? Or flooded with male attention for just existing? The answer seems to be: whichever one supports the point they’re trying to make right that second lol
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 12:22 AM
5

This topic (laid out in the OP) is specifically about labeling sexual frustration as loneliness
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 11:39 PM
6

Lonely in a way that will be solved by sex? No, haven’t really heard that from women
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 11:36 PM
0

Calling it “lonely” is missing the point, though. If you have meaningful interpersonal relationships, emotional support, companionship, and the only thing you’re missing is sex, you’re horny. Not lonely. You’re totally valid to feel frustrated about that, but it’s not the same as actual loneliness
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 11:04 PM
6

Yeah, I’m not in competition with younger women. The men my age who want them wouldn’t be interested in me, why would I create a competition? The men who think this way seem to actually think that women in their 30s and 40s don’t have anyone to date, which isn’t the case. The men my age who target women my daughter’s age are not men I have any interest in, I’m certainly not competing for them lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:59 PM
9

You don’t have to buy it, but it’s the answer. Not necessarily “I want to protect them,” though, like a 20-year-old woman can make her own choices, I’m not going to interfere. But I for sure draw some conclusions about the much older man who wants to date her. I think men in their 40s who specifically seek out relationships with women young enough to be their daughters are, at best emotionally immature/stunted, and at worst predatory. I have zero desire to date or interact with those men, so wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:07 PM
5

These…aren’t remotely equivalent lol The equivalent would be a man not mentioning that he had a hair transplant. Hiding your intentions is something entirely different.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 09:23 PM
7

Yep, totally correct. Plus there’s the attempt to paint women in our 30s and 40s as somehow jealous of the younger women being targeted by older men, when honestly none of us feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 09:03 PM
15

I’m curious why you think this is information I don’t have.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:52 PM
9

Really agree with this. Most of the men who post about being lonely are lacking in emotionally supportive friendships as well (even the ones who insist friendships wouldn’t do anything to help their loneliness), but fixate on the fact that women won’t fuck them as the sole cause of it. There are spaces for men to complain with each other about not having sex, so that becomes more comfortable to talk about. Opening up about a broader feeling of isolation isn’t as accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:42 PM
2

I didn’t say it’s a positive. But a younger couple there’s more the dynamic of, they experience life and grow together…when you have an older man (who has decades more of life experience and is set in his ways) and a much younger woman who’s still figuring things out, he’s expecting to stay relatively similar while she grows and bends to suit him. So instead of building a life together, she has to fit into his already existing life. It creates a power imbalance that seems to appeal to some of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 07:11 PM
15

I don’t think it’s nefarious (in most cases) or an intentional manipulation thing. But I do think that older men who seek out relationships with much younger women (as opposed to only casual sex) are partially drawn to the feeling that they can take this relatively inexperienced young person and guide her into being exactly what you want. Women with more lived experience are more set in their ways and less likely to grow into something different. To me, even when it’s not in a manipulative “groo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 06:10 PM
1

Women don’t pretend personality is the only important thing (at least most of us don’t). Personality is important, though, i don’t feel attracted to a good looking man who I don’t have a mental/emotional connection with. But physical attraction is also important. Saying personality matters isn’t the same as saying physical attraction doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:28 PM
1

I don’t think anyone would argue that. The reverse is true too, a woman being attractive to men doesn’t mean she’s good or virtuous, just means she’s attractive. We don’t choose what’s attractive, most of it is just biological/instinctual
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:13 PM
1

I’m not saying attractive qualities = virtue. I’m saying that without attraction at best you have a friendship. Attraction isn’t a rational thing, men don’t feel attracted based on “virtue” either, we’re just attracted to what we are attracted to. I wasn’t trying to claim that it’s rational or fair, the way attraction works. I was just trying to counter this idea that gets tossed around here often, that women will hold a man’s lack of experience against him, or that it’s his lack of experience t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 04:54 PM
9

I haven’t seen this behavior in adults, it sounds more like middle school? Some women might get shy around men they’re attracted to, but it’s not an intentional thing or a strategy or anything, it’s just being shy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:16 PM
3

As a fellow autistic, I get it. There are a lot of ways that I kind of have to bend and shape my personality in order to get along with people and generally fit in. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, but I’m also sometimes left with this feeling of…do they even like the real me, or do they just like my mask? The thing is, without the mask life is a lot harder, especially making personal connections. I find small talk really painful, but I love having friends and having relationships so I just see th…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:36 PM
1

It depends a lot on the woman, but generally we’re attracted when we feel a connection. Connection can happen when someone has a good sense of humor, a level of confidence, ability to hold a conversation, etc. Also, there does need to be physical attraction. You say you have an “untraditional life,” and I’m curious what you mean by that. Usually we want to date someone where there’s a feeling that our lifestyles will match up. You don’t say in your post whether your problem is that you’re meetin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:22 PM
21

Putting anyone on a pedestal isn’t good. When you put people on a pedestal you only see the desirable things about them, build them up as an unrealistic fantasy, and then wind up disappointed when they don’t live up to your fantasy. Just view women as regular humans, please. You can desire women all you want, but “pedestalizing” us benefits no one, including you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 09:04 AM
3

If you add the words “…who also wants to date me” onto the end of any of those statements, they make a lot more sense
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:20 AM
1

I’m not sure why you’re hearing “men who can’t get laid don’t have qualities that attract women” and taking that to mean “men with unattractive qualities can’t get laid,” then trying to disprove the second statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:16 AM
2

“Good, kind person” doesn’t seem overly specific, really.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 04:15 AM
2

I’m not sure it’s a red flag so much as just indicative of the fact that men don’t find her desirable enough to date. The same way that a man being an older virgin isn’t a red flag but is indicative of the fact that women don’t find him attractive. Both of these hypothetical people might be great people, they might not have actual red flags, but they don’t possess qualities that are generally attractive to the opposite sex
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 03:37 AM
2

Right, so that gets back to the point in the OP. Respect people because it’s the right thing to do, and can potentially improve your existing relationships. Performative “respect” isn’t a strategy to get dates, improve your looks and confidence (and income, if you want dates with a certain kind of women) and you’ll get more dates
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 02:08 AM
14

Do you consider those to be successful relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:25 AM
7

You’re not understanding me. I’m not saying it’s a way to get laid. I’m saying it’s a way to have a quality relationship. If you’re just wanting to get laid, and don’t care if it’s a quality relationship, then yeah being kind isn’t a “strategy” for that
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:15 AM
16

Being violent and aggressive toward the people you have relationships with is not attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:01 AM
9

The key word is successful. Being a good, kind, respectful person increases your odds of success in a relationship with a similarly good person. Which I assume is what most of us want.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 12:28 AM
23

I think the problem comes in when someone gets negative feedback and then assumes correcting it will lead to the desired result. Basically, the absence of bad behavior does not create good will or desire. “Treat people with respect” should be a bare minimum of acceptable behavior. Not an action you perform in order to get something you want…performative “respect” doesn’t actually mean you respect women at all. If you start actually respecting women (by which I mean, viewing us as individuals, li…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:37 PM
1

Wow, kudos on finding a way to victim blame abused women in a thread where we’re not even talking about abused women
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:21 PM
2

Does being an asshole for no reason usually work well, in conversations with other humans? I’ve found I usually have better conversations by not being an asshole and freaking out at people for no reason, but you do you lol I don’t know why you think anything you’re saying is an argument against my comment. Did I say people always choose well? Did I say if you don’t have a good personality you are incapable of having sex? Obviously I didn’t say either of those things, so why are you pointing out …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:17 PM
2

I can’t figure out at all what this means. Care to enlighten me?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:03 PM
3

Confidence and a comfort level with talking to women are attractive qualities. You don’t get to pick which things women find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:03 PM
5

Right, for the same reason women who are virgins typically have chosen it. Because men will fuck anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 10:01 PM
4

Men can do whatever they want, it’s none of my business if you want to purchase sex. I value real relationships and mutual desire, so someone who pays for sex would likely not be compatible with me, as that’s someone who can enjoy sex whether his partner wants it or not. So this would be a turnoff for me (and probably a lot of women) You’re fully within your rights to do it, though. And women are within our rights to choose not to date someone who would buy a girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 09:40 PM
6

It’s entirely possible to put all effort into a relationship, and also be open and allow the other person to see your flaws and see you as a real human. In fact, I think giving your partner an accurate picture of who you are is part of giving 100% to the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 09:36 PM
3

What the fuck kind of “logic” is this? Your cousin who makes weird noises probably has trouble attracting women, losing his virginity wouldn’t change that. Virginity isn’t the reason women aren’t having sex with him. It’s not about what qualities you think women should find attractive, it’s about who is actually attractive to women. Which is generally a combination of looks and personality/confidence. My entire point was that someone who’s a virgin because women don’t find him attractive is not …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 09:33 PM
9

It’s so rare that a woman is literally unable to find someone for sex, if she’s wanting it. A better measure would be a woman who has never had a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 04:45 PM
19

Most women who are still virgins into their late 20s have chosen that (for religious or personal reasons), rather than being literally unable to find someone. There are men who choose to remain virgins but it’s much more rare, and almost always for religious reasons (in which case they’re probably part of a tight knit religious community and will look for a wife there, not just out on the dating apps and stuff) It’s not so much that women are bothered by a man’s virginity. It’s more that typical…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:26 PM
9

Thinking that compliments and kindness are something that needs to be “earned” is really telling, too. This post seems to imply that finding a woman fuckable is complimenting her.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:03 PM
8

This exactly, I love giving little compliments because I figure it could be the boost someone was really needing at the moment, and it costs me nothing at all to do that for someone. But I compliment something they did or chose, something with their outfit, their hair, nails, whatever. Letting someone know they’re generally hot isn’t a compliment, it’s a statement about your own attraction to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:01 PM
9

So what would be the goal for you in a mass withholding of compliments. Make it so when you compliment a woman she’s so grateful for the “validation” that she likes you?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 02:50 PM
3

That’s such an overused deflection tactic. You post a long thing and if someone responds to it (which is what you’re asking them to do, by posting it) you go to “ooh you’re getting defensive, did I hit a nerve??”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 02:47 PM
9

Sexual attention from men isn’t validation, we know you’ll fuck anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 02:06 PM
15

Sounds like you’re attracting shitty women who aren’t loyal. If you’re good looking and have nothing else to offer, is it really shocking to you that this is the type of woman you attract?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 01:41 AM
2

So yep, I was correct. So much pick me energy here. I hope as you get a little older it comes with some maturity and ability to see outside your narrow world view. If you have this personality as you age, then it will definitely be a self fulfilling prophecy for you, that men won’t want you. If you’re trying to attract men just by being young, you’re going to only attract a very specific type of man.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 03:23 PM
14

Yeah, this is a pretty ridiculous post. Kind of a typical post from this OP, though, it’s just man-hating bait.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 03:07 PM
13

Then not playing into that sounds like an excellent way to weed out that type of woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 02:40 PM
2

You…literally did what I was talking about lol also, I’d venture a guess that a lot of 80-year-old grandpas would rather just watch tv with the wife than find the energy to fuck some young woman. But yes, if you take a poll of men you’ll find they prefer a younger woman to an 80 yo. Obviously. Just like if you asked women, almost all would pick a tall man over one who’s under 5 ft. The extremes are obvious. Not all men in their 40s are trying to fuck 18-year-olds. And plenty are attracted and tu…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 02:36 PM
3

I like statistics that actually relate to the point you’re trying to make. You’re doing the same thing with height that you did with age, making it a totally black and white thing. If I say not all women care if a guy is over 6 ft you jump straight to arguing as if I said height doesn’t matter at all. Generally there’s a preference for taller…doesn’t mean all women are the same with it, and doesn’t mean most care if they’re over 6 ft. Same thing with age…can men generally agree that a younger wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 02:00 PM
2

Why are you so obsessed with needing to think this way about men? It’s as ridiculous as the men who think women can’t really feel desire unless they’re over 6 ft.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 01:51 PM
5

Using statistics about men who go to prostitutes as a basis for making sweeping generalizations about men is as dumb as using likes on a TikTok video to make sweeping generalizations about women. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone is attracted to people young enough to be their child. It’s hard to even know what to debate when it starts with a flawed premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 01:41 PM
6

I somehow never really internalized shame over having sexual desires, but I know that’s a pretty common experience for women. I think the main reason I didn’t internalize it is autism, honestly. I just was kind of oblivious to some of the messaging I got about that growing up (looking back, I can see it was there. I just didn’t really absorb it). And then as an adult, the men I’ve been with generally appreciate that I’m open about lusting after them, so it’s just never felt like a negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 02:30 AM
–

I believe OP is a man. The complaint seems to be that even the old fat broke women won’t give him a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 11:52 AM
3

This is really well put, and is the same way I feel about it. I’m half Asian, and there’s a difference between men who like me for me and also are often attracted to Asian women, vs the ones who have a “thing” for Asians and it feels like they’re just viewing me as a fulfillment of their fetish rather than giving a shit who I am as an individual. It mostly boils down to, most of us want to feel like we’re special to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 04:11 AM
–

Think I’ll just stick with telling my partner about my fantasies, I’ve never much felt the need to share with random reddit dudes. This doesn’t seem at all like the sub for collecting wank material or whatever you’re trying to do lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:45 AM
2

I’m a millennial and my oldest kid is gen Z
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 03:29 AM
21

Oh my god, why do men in age gap relationships just need everyone to cheer for them? If you’re happy with your much younger gf, then just go be happy, why are you trying to convince a bunch of strangers? This post really just sounds like you want to tell everyone you “scored” a hot 19-year-old lol No one is stopping you from dating her, it’s not illegal, so why do you care whether women your own age think your gross for dating someone young enough to be your daughter? Just do you, and let people…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 09:45 PM
-3

Ok, but most of us haven’t been “radicalized.” So what are we meant to be taking accountability for, exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 09:37 PM
3

I really don’t think it would have been a relationship-ending issue for me if my kids’ father had wanted a paternity test, I would have found it a bit ridiculous because I never cheated and the kids came out with his exact coloring lol. But if they just looked nothing like him or there was any little thing that planted a doubt in his head, and a test would take away that doubt, then why not? When the test came back showing he didn’t have any reason to worry, though, I would expect an apology and…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 09:31 PM
-1

Who said I’m radicalized? lol I like men, I date men, and I don’t blame men for my problems. Also don’t have a front porch or any idea what you’re even trying to say
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 09:23 PM
3

I think it’s more just that a majority of women, if asked specifically what our criteria are for hooking up with a stranger, would say that we don’t really want that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 09:07 PM
7

The flaw with this is that when a man has a ONS or random hookup, there’s a woman there participating. And when a woman hooks up (or has an ongoing fwb thing) with one of her friends, there’s a man participating. Both genders do both of these things. I think the main difference is that fewer women actually want the ONS/random thing, but clearly there are still women who do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 08:59 PM
2

It gets so tiresome. Loud angry man-hating women are a small minority. Loud angry woman-hating incels are a small minority. It would be so much better if everyone could recognize that and stop seeing the other gender as a whole as their enemy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 08:06 PM
16

I do truly feel bad for young men who don’t really have a way to get outside their bubble and encounter a variety of people, and think that the loudest people on TikTok somehow represent reality. The blame game is tired, though. There are multiple factors that lead men down this destructive path, including societal factors that stunt their emotional development, toxic messaging from other men, and yes, rejection by women when he doesn’t have the coping skills to process it in a healthy way. Why …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 07:55 PM
3

It’s your opinion that women don’t know what it feels like to be shamed? You have a very narrow view of the world. Not wanting to fuck you isn’t the same as shaming you. If I don’t want sex with someone, I’m not saying anything mean, I’m not trying to make him feel bad, I’m literally doing nothing to him and just trying to exist. The problem is that men such as yourself see women existing and not having sex with you as something bad we’re doing to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 03:10 PM
3

It’s telling of the fact that you see a woman not consenting to sex with you as a cruel act she’s doing toward you, rather than something she has every right to do. Shaming someone for a physical trait he can’t control is mean. Saying no to sex is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 02:14 PM
–

The fact that you see not consenting to sex with someone as on the same level as actively shaming someone is pretty telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 01:26 PM
0

None of the women I know or talk to would shame a man for his size. You need to hang with better people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 03:43 AM
53

This isn’t the way most of us actually talk. Dick is dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 01:24 AM
9

I’ve seen this. It’s not super common, but there are couples where the woman works less and also expects him to kind of wait on her once he’s home. It tends to happen in couples where the man feels she’s “out of his league”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 11:17 PM
2

For me, it’s more that I need the layer of emotional connection to be attracted to someone at all. It’s not that connecting emotionally will make me attracted to someone I just don’t find attractive, the physical attraction is also important.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 09:27 PM
48

It’s not that deep. Just let go of seeing obtaining a relationship as the only goal in your life, learn to enjoy the other aspects of your life so that a relationship is a nice bonus rather than a need. It doesn’t mean avoid or resent women, if you’re holding onto resentment toward women for not wanting to date you, that’s not decentering at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:31 PM
1

I’ll play along, if you understand that this is not a “check these boxes and you earn sex” thing. So my personal minimums: Height - taller than me. I’m 5’0 Fitness level - fit enough to have energy and no major weight/fitness-related health issues. I don’t at all mind a dad bod or bigger guy, though, as long as he’s relatively healthy Income - enough to afford his own lifestyle. This varies wildly depending on where you live and how responsible you are with money, so I don’t have a number for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:24 PM
7

Your friend group is not a study that proves anything, it’s just a statement about a few people you know. Whether someone will cheat isn’t determined by whether you “got it out of your system” prior to the relationship. Just date the very young women you’re wanting to date, as long as they’re legal and consenting, and stop trying to come up with convoluted reasons to justify your preference…who are you needing to justify it to? No one is stopping you from pursuing the women you want to pursue.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:28 PM
2

The woman I know who does this absolutely does take it at face value when they act like they’re actually interested. I’ve tried to get her to understand, and have given up at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:22 PM
1

Men: “here is the way that 100% of men act” Woman: “I’ve been with men who don’t act like that” Men: “NO YOU HAVEN’T THEY JUST DIDN’T CARE ABOUT YOU!!” Literally, have had conversations about past sexual partners and experiences, with a partner in a committed relationship, and the actual number didn’t come up. Because it’s not a thing that every man cares about. I understand that you care about it, but you’re not all the same lol It has not been my experience that getting older has made men less…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:17 PM
5

Yeah, I think most women who do this are probably aware, at least on some level, that it isn’t actually validating. It’s more of a temporary delusional feeling of validation. Personally, I would find it…opposite of satisfying, to have sex with someone who wasn’t attracted to me. But I also don’t know what it feels like to be completely unable to find attractive men who want to date me, so I figure I don’t fully understand how the women who do this feel about it. It probably gets to a point where…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:10 PM
1

It’s really not all men that care about it. I’ve had relationships where the question didn’t even come up. Also, the men who want younger women don’t make an exception for an older woman with a low body count lol, if he wants someone young that’s what he wants. There are plenty of men interested in women late 30s and older (I’m 43, there’s truly not a shortage), if someone cares that much about who we’ve slept with in the past, we’re able to just find someone else who doesn’t care. (my “body cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:57 PM
9

The one woman I know who is open about having lots of casual sex is similar to the woman you describe…she has a lot of things that would make her not a good dating option for most men (obese, serious mental health issues, doesn’t work and is on disability, just generally a difficult person to be around). For her it seems less like a self-aware “just getting needs met” thing, and more like a way of getting validation that someone wants her. Most women who have something going for them wouldn’t fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:52 PM
0

Obviously that’s true for many men. Which is why women need to watch out for ourselves and look out for each other, until a man proves he’s capable of caring about us as more than a sex object. Keeping ourselves emotionally and physically safe is the goal, not caring about our “body count.”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:44 PM
1

Sure, you’re allowed 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t want to be used for sex, in the sense that I tend to get emotionally attached to the people I have sex with, and would be hurt if a man faked the emotional connection, fucked me, and then vanished. I don’t care in any way about my “body count” and wouldn’t date a guy who cared about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:43 PM
-2

“Body count” is not at all the reason women don’t want to be used for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:34 PM
1

You’re not understanding what it means to decenter. It doesn’t mean you don’t ultimately want a relationship, it just means you’re prioritizing other things so that a relationship is a nice bonus. You can choose to focus on other things, in a way that’s not at all pretend, and still hope that someday you meet someone and have a quality relationship. It’s not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 01:56 PM
3

Like you’re never physically attracted to anyone? Or what do you mean? For me it’s more of a combination of the two, I need to connect with someone both emotionally and physically to feel sexual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 12:33 PM
0

OP wrote that more than twice, and I didn’t comment on this situation (which the OP of that AITA thread gradually added info about, which is why the comments there don’t match the actual situation), where do you see me excusing or commenting on her behavior? What I said was that OP is completely free to go his own way, if he feels that this reddit comment thread represents all women and therefore does not want to date or marry women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 12:28 PM
1

Lol what? Where am I excusing (or even talking about) shitty behavior? He wrote out his extensive thoughts on a random Reddit thread, and his conclusion is that he should “go his own way.” I said feel free to do so. How did you possibly find a way to take offense to that?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 12:18 PM
1

Do what?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 11:57 AM
18

I see men that I think are good looking all the time. A lot of men I encounter are ones where if I became attracted to their personalities I would be able to be physically attracted as well. I don’t ever experience actual sexual attraction from just looking at someone and knowing nothing about who he is. So for how often I encounter a man and feel actual attraction right away…basically never. That doesn’t mean I have overly high standards for physical appearance, though, just means that appearan…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 04:10 AM
10

You’re really not great at summarizing what happens in threads. Like that’s not at all what has happened here.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:27 AM
35

It’s clear from the early comments that she initially just posted that her husband doesn’t work and she pays for everything, and he wanted to switch all of their meds to another pharmacy for no apparent reason. Commenters were questioning why he wasn’t working (at that point the ages weren’t clear, and no context was given, sounded like he was just opting not to work), and basically telling her she can spend her money where she chooses. This is really obvious just from spending like 2-3 minutes …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:24 AM
44

The top comments were all made before she added most of the context. If you’re going to bring a whole thread here from elsewhere and summarize it, at least summarize accurately.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 03:16 AM
23

Please do go your own way if you’d like. There are so many of these posts here, you don’t have to badly summarize a whole AITA discussion to justify your choice…just literally don’t date or marry women if you don’t want to. It’s that easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 02:52 AM
2

Ok, then put your energy into lobbying for the government to cover them. Personally I would prioritize getting the government to cover actual medical costs first. I can’t even understand what you’re trying to say about women bringing up anger, but I’m sorry I mentioned an emotion and upset you I guess lol I don’t understand the last part either, it’s not because so says some random woman lol. I’m saying that in a lot of cases the paternity isn’t questioned. In the ones where it is, there’s truly…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 09:50 PM
1

This makes no sense at all. There’s no value in just having followers if you can’t monetize that in some way
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 09:44 PM
19

Is it your honest opinion that a majority of women are able to make any actual money doing this? Have you looked at stats about onlyfans, or monetizing social media, etc? It’s so rare for people to actually profit off of any of it. If marketing using dating apps was so effective, we could all just quit our jobs. It sounds like you might need to broaden your search a little bit, if you’re only finding women who are trying to make it big on social media…most women don’t do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:19 PM
3

Start a charity that provides free paternity tests to anyone who wants them, then. There seem to be a lot of men here who would find it a worthy cause to donate to. What I don’t understand is this anger surrounding the demand for mandatory testing or whatever, like no one is preventing you from getting tested if you want to. But in many situations it’s simply not necessary. I have two children, there was no question about the paternity, and their father had zero doubt about it, in my case (and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 08:11 PM
3

Why do you say you agree, as if that’s what I said? If you want a paternity test, get one. Why would you care about whether other people do or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 07:58 PM
1

Just find a style that feels like “you,” there’s not going to be a style that universally appeals to all women, so just make sure you’re clean and well-groomed, your clothes fit correctly and flatter your body, and you’re good.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:55 PM
5

It’s really not, though. If you’re having no success with dating, making your life revolve around that will make your life feel like you’re failing. Decentering doesn’t mean giving up on something, it means finding the value in other things and having a life that you enjoy, whether or not you’re currently in a relationship. People who do this will also find more happiness in relationships, because they’re not pinning all their hopes and dreams on one person, to the point that if the relationship…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:53 PM
3

Definitely don’t wear tight jeans, boots, and tucked in shirt…sounds kinda cowboy to me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:48 PM
16

Trends change. If your style is the same now as it was 20+ years ago, it might just be really out of style, and it definitely doesn’t suit you anymore. I don’t have the same style now as I did at 18, because I would look ridiculous. I wore baggy clothes and sandals, had my hair in a bandana half the time, and I looked cute because I was 18 lol. If I dressed that way now, I would look homeless.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:41 PM
3

Well that’s the thing, what they’re actually bothered by is that a lot of the younger women they’re targeting don’t want them, or find it creepy. But rather than accepting that, they’re trying to make it the fault of older women somehow, like the only reason a hot college student doesn’t want your old, fat, balding self is because older women are so jealous (because of course they assume that we would want them lol) that we’ve somehow shamed the younger women into not liking them. Basically, it’…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 06:31 PM
4

Seems to usually be the case. It’s a weird leap from not being able to get laid, to worrying that the women who aren’t fucking you might want to baby trap you 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 04:46 PM
7

What are you talking about? If you have questions about the paternity of a child you might have fathered, just get a test. It’s not hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 04:36 PM
16

I think it’s pretty clear that the men here who obsess over paternity stuff aren’t coming from a place of wanting logical, rational solutions. They’re just wanting something to be mad at women about.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 04:04 PM
16

I am a straight woman, I’m not attracted to other women, don’t feel any desire to kiss (or do anything with) other women, I’m attracted to men. I think a lot of people exist somewhere on the bisexual spectrum, but women who are bi (but lean toward men) feel more comfortable expressing their attraction to women because it’s not socially taboo. A man who is bi but leans toward women is more likely to keep any thoughts about other men to himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 02:48 PM
6

Didn’t need you to try and write a whole essay on how you think I feel, it’s super weird. You have some wildly inaccurate thoughts on how women view the world. I promise you, none of us are just here feeling jealous of younger women because some older men are targeting them…I have zero interest in dating a man who would go after a girl young enough to be his daughter, so why would I be jealous of her? Concerned and hoping she’s ok, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 01:57 PM
7

It’s really not a huge subset of men that are dating in a different generation, its just that the ones who are like that are so fucking loud about it. Most men just date somewhat near their own age.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 01:41 PM
5

You wrote a lot of paragraphs telling me how I feel, based on me saying you can date whoever you want. (and your many paragraphs are incorrect, I feel no envy at all toward women younger than me. I hope they find good, loving relationships with men who respect them and treat them well. I also have expressed zero opinion about you and your dating choices, you’re literally arguing with nothing and it’s bizarre)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 01:31 PM
7

Where’s my critique or any shaming? Pretty sure I said date who you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 12:14 PM
13

Who are you trying to convince, though? Just date who you want. Why is it so important to convince people outside your relationship that they should approve of it? No one is trying to stop you from dating very young (legal age) women. But we can have our opinions on what it says about you, and writing defensive posts about it doesn’t change that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 11:29 AM
16

Why is there one of these super defensive age gap posts every other day here. Just date who you want, why do you care so much if people approve of it? And no, this assertion isn’t true at all. People who think you’re creepy for being 40 or 50 and targeting teenagers will think that regardless of how you look. And will think older women who go after really young men are weird and creepy too. But seriously, you do you. You’re within your rights to date whatever legally consenting adult you want, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 11:24 AM
1

I’m an elder lol. Here’s a secret: I’m not any more qualified to tell someone else what’s best for them than I was in my 20s. Age doesn’t always mean you know everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 01:18 AM
10

Right, the lack of self awareness with this is killing me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 11:22 PM
13

It’s funny you see it as different from redpill content…all of it is just trying to get cheat codes to unlock the secret to getting what you want out of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 11:14 PM
3

Yes, this is the wrong response for sure. Protect me if someone is a direct physical threat. But don’t try to solve my non-physical problems by getting angry or violent on my behalf.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 10:16 PM
5

Do you think you know any better than they do?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 03:29 PM
1

I don’t know where you live, but in the us where I am, I can assure you women are not “favored” by the government. What a fucking insane thing to say lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 01:55 PM
5

Or just let people make the choices that feel right for them, and stop trying to decide which way is “better” for all people. I have kids, I love being a mom, it’s the right choice for me. It might not be the right choice for another woman, and that’s completely fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 01:40 PM
35

The things that men do to prove “manliness” to each other aren’t the same things that make a woman see you as attractive. Macho ≠ strong and masculine, in fact acting too macho in a performative way can make us view you as weak and insecure, like you have something to prove. I’m someone who is attracted to more masculine-seeming men (not all women are, though, there’s a whole range of preference), and to me the most attractive thing is a man who is strong but in control of himself, and who feels…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 12:19 PM
13

Don’t even know how to respond because making this about taxes is a kind of unhinged take. If you want to decenter women and dating in your life, then please do so. No one is pressuring or begging you to pursue us, if you go your own way the world will still keep turning, promise.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 11:04 AM
6

Have you…read any posts here before?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 11:03 AM
6

Last I checked, it’s men who whine about the “loneliness epidemic.” What women are trying to socially pressure you to approach and date us? Just approach a woman if you want to, and don’t if you don’t want to, it doesn’t all have to be part of some big movement or whatever.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 11:02 AM
86

Go ahead, truly no one is wanting to stop you from going your own way.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:15 AM
–

Where did you “hear about this thing”? Because that doesn’t track with the experience of most women I know, including myself. I can find someone physically attractive but if his personality sucks I’m not turned on. And a strong emotional connection with someone turns me on. And I’m not at all unusual with it. But honestly I don’t really complain about how men are at sex, I’ve always thought it’s tacky to do that. I have my opinions, and if I was with someone where the sex wasn’t good, and he was…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 04:02 AM
3

Naive infatuation is stronger when you’re young (although definitely still can happen with adults) Real love can exist at any age, with maturity you can love deeper and appreciate it more. Unconditional love should not be a thing in romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:33 PM
16

No one is saying do it for us. Do this for yourselves, you’ll be happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:30 PM
–

The guys who have asked my daughter out (the ones she showed me pics of, at least) were objectively good looking, she doesn’t at all have an issue with how they look or unrealistic expectations about that from social media. Her reasons for saying no weren’t looks-based at all…one she said no to was because of his politics, another she said they had nothing at all in common (he’s super into sports, she’s an art and music girl), mostly it’s just preferring to hang out with a group of friends rathe…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 04:29 AM
–

My observation isn’t that they’re holding out for some mythical perfect guy because social media has corrupted their expectations. It’s more that they just aren’t consumed with wanting a boyfriend, they’re busy with other stuff going on in their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:58 AM
–

Yeah, I’ve never been able to understand that line of thinking some of the men here have (basically wanting to shame women into dating men we’re not attracted to). I would never want to be with someone who doesn’t want me, being alone sounds so much better than that!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:50 AM
–

Most men wouldn’t either. It’s only the extreme ones like this who actually hate women, most men are doing ok lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:37 AM
–

It disappears off the screen for me (not sure if there’s a way to read the flair that’s too long to fit)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:36 AM
–

I remember girls being a lot more boy crazy when I was young, too. And I remember being relieved that I had dates to prom/homecoming because I would have felt like such a loser just going with friends. There’s definitely been a shift, and I’m not sure why. My daughter had several guys ask her to homecoming this year, and she wasn’t like repulsed by it or anything but opted to go with friends because she thought it would be more fun. I think at least some of it is that girls now get really differ…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:31 AM
–

I disagree that women finding our own happiness is the cause of men’s loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:24 AM
–

Genuinely, is there something wrong with you? You’re sounding like someone who shouldn’t be allowed around other humans without supervision 😬
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:22 AM
–

Wait are we now supposed to think single means something different depending on gender? We’re redefining words to make sure men can continue to play victim?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:19 AM
–

Sounds like a great way to keep being lonely 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 03:02 AM
–

How exactly are you proposing men solve this by making it impossible for us to be happy while single? It’s sad how many men here seem to genuinely want to force situations where women have no other choice but to date you. Rather than actually wanting to be a quality partner that a woman would want to date.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:57 AM
–

Or to work on yourself enough so that dating you sounds like a better option than being single. But interesting that your first thought was to make us unhappy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:50 AM
–

While I agree with most of what you’re saying, I disagree with your conclusion (stated in the post title). Because you’re saying stuff that’s true, but then come right back to blaming women for men being lonely. Men are lonely because many of them put all of their hopes for connection, companionship, and emotional support solely on their hypothetical romantic relationships. Instead of creating a life they want, with a good support system, and then bringing a romantic partner into that. Until men…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/25 02:46 AM
9

The wording of saying women “invest our youth” into a man is pretty gross. Our youth isn’t some commodity for you to use.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:36 PM
3

This sub is just… Person: here’s an anecdote of how I personally fell in love with and was attracted to someone based only on personality Men: no, that’s impossible. You’re an exception, one person doesn’t prove it’s true. Another person: I don’t care about personality, I only can be attracted to someone who fits conventional beauty standards Men: see, this person speaks for everyone! Thank you for being honest and saying what everyone else actually thinks.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 01:51 PM
–

Read what I said. Then read what you said. Then try again. Most viewers of trashy reality tv are women. This does not equate to women all watch it. Also, I said I do watch it. Like, literally the shows you’re talking about. I love all that stupid shit lol. No part of me thinks it reflects dating reality. I have friends who watch the same stuff, and none of them think that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 01:18 AM
–

I watch all of the trashy shows. I’ll own my terrible taste in tv lol Also, seriously no one thinks this stuff is real. This is another thread assuming that a few people on TikTok speak for all women. I watch it because it’s entertaining, I don’t watch it as a blueprint for my own relationship expectations. Your premise assumes that women all watch the same shows, and also that we’re all total idiots.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:43 AM
–

Ok, we’re not disagreeing. Someone who can buy any car they want isn’t going to get a piece of shit used car from decades ago. But being in good condition will make the old car more appealing to anyone who isn’t in the market for the expensive ones. Letting it rot will make it so literally no one wants to buy it. Like just learn to work with what you’ve got and be the best version of yourself…what other option do you have?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 12:29 AM
–

A piece of shit 80s car that’s been maintained well, has a working engine and a good paint job, etc, is worth more than a piece of shit 80s car that’s just rotting and doesn’t even work anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:54 PM
1

The future plan is to go through life together, to be there for each other. I don’t know why this is difficult to understand, like I get it’s not something you personally can relate to but surely you can at least comprehend it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:36 PM
1

It is for many people. And not everyone wants to have children, those people are still fully capable of loving their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:27 PM
2

It’s not, if loving relationships are something you value. Clearly this isn’t something that’s of value for you, and you’re having trouble understanding that not everyone is the same as you about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:21 PM
3

To a good relationship. That’s the end goal, not a step on the way to something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:10 PM
6

(not the target for the question since I do have kids, so answering here) I have kids, but I’m not interested in having more. And I still want to get married again someday, even though if I do get married to someone I won’t be having kids with him. It’s about being committed and forming the type of bond and relationship that you can’t get from just “hooking up.” I want a partner to go through life with, and support each other, not just random sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:02 PM
–

The placement of some actresses/models on that scale is making me laugh so much. If Keke Palmer is a 5/10, we’re not seeing the same reality so I don’t think it’s even worth talking about this with you lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:49 PM
–

Yeah, honestly him talking about anything related to sex is a turn off Very happy I already have an IUD, I’d be fucking scared to have the risk of pregnancy right now
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:42 PM
–

Yeah, my approach is probably worse. I see what’s happening, feel totally powerless to change it, and so I just kind of…go about my day, and look for happiness in personal connections, because I’m not going to find it by looking at what’s going on in the world. So far no amount of societal collapse seems to affect my sex drive, at least
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:32 PM
–

Yep, unconventional features on a person who appears put together can be attractive, “ugly hot” is a thing. Letting yourself go, even if you would otherwise be good looking, isn’t attractive. I could easily be attracted to someone who has weird facial features or whatever, if he’s clean and well dressed, and I like who he is as a person. I don’t think I could feel any true attraction to someone I perceive as “gross,” which doesn’t have anything to do with actual looks and is all about hygiene, s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:30 PM
–

I don’t trust the stability of society either, just would rather have someone to hunker down with or I would get too lonely lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:25 PM
–

There’s not really a correlation between being good looking and fascism, and this isn’t a problem other good looking men seem to have, so I’m not sure why you’re having that issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:19 PM
–

I agree with this. If I picture an “ugly” man I’m picturing poor hygiene, greasy hair, being very out of shape, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:17 PM
–

Are you sure it’s not your political views that are making people think you’re a fascist? I know a number of good looking guys and none of them have that particular problem lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:15 PM
3

There’s just…so much wrong with this I don’t even know which part to address. But I’ll start with, I’m not sure that someone who thinks that all (or even more than a small percentage) of autistic people would be in special ed classes has any business commenting on autism, since clearly you don’t have a good understanding of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:12 PM
–

There’s not a lot you can do that will make you as conventionally attractive as someone who is just better looking. And looks do matter overall in dating, as everyone knows. But there’s plenty you can do to improve how women see you. Things like hygiene and how you dress, being in good shape, how you carry yourself, confidence (yes I know it’s harder to be confident if you’re not good looking. But not impossible) and just kind of owning how you look and being ok with it. And obviously if you hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 10:03 PM
3

Oh my god, I made the massive mistake of looking for the comment you’re talking about. On the one hand I want to just laugh about people like that because they’re so ignorant, and clearly his “autistics are ugly” memo didn’t quite reach any of the men who hit on me lol. But also, there are people who are more socially affected than I am who can be genuinely hurt by shit like that, so every time I want to just laugh that stuff off I realize how hurtful it can actually be. I’m not sure why people …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:43 PM
2

I didn’t accuse you of anything, falsely or otherwise. I said you seem to want to fight about anything. I don’t know why you’re being this way, I didn’t accuse or assume anything about your underlying motive, but your posts here are super antagonistic for no apparent reason, which does just seem like you want to fight. Not an accusation, just an observation.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:13 PM
3

Nah, he might also be autistic but being a shitty human isn’t because of his autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:09 PM
3

And I didn’t say you said that. You lumped them together. Which is what I said. You seem to just want to fight about anything, which doesn’t sound like a fun way to spend my day. If you want to know why people in general are lonelier now, it’s because we’re more isolated now. So much of life happens online (to the point that now you go to a restaurant in person and sometimes have to order through a phone app, it’s very hard to unplug even for a short time). There isn’t a “rise of autism,” howeve…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:59 PM
4

Nope. Don’t do that. You put them together in your OP, I’m responding to that, don’t turn that back around and pretend I’m the one who said that. Own your words.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:46 PM
6

Thank you, I do know what autism is since I literally have it. Lumping it in with “laziness” and blaming it for why the social scene now is fucked up is…a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 05:48 PM
–

Long term abstinence is probably hard for anyone with a libido, I don’t think it matters much whether someone is a virgin or not. People will always whine about their own circumstance and think it’s worse than everyone else’s.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:52 PM
6

People can find a way to blame autism for everything, it’s kind of crazy. (and diagnosing people who would have flown under the radar in previous generations isn’t a “rise in autism,” it’s a change in how it’s diagnosed)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:50 PM
24

This seems accurate, the men I’ve heard talk up their own unconditional love tend to be ones who are talking about unrequited love. So in his mind, if he could actually be with this person he’s built up a fantasy around, he would love her no matter what. People who have actual mutual relationships with other humans know it doesn’t work that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:44 PM
–

Who’s demonizing? Also, please know that you’re not speaking for the majority of women with this, you just sound like you’re asexual. Which is fine, but just speak for yourself. Most women aren’t asexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:47 PM
–

You’re passing a lot of judgment for someone who made a whole entire post about how you lie to your partner. What’s your goal here? You do you, but make a post about it and people will give their opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:33 PM
16

I kind of tune out when people talk about unconditional love in dating, because that doesn’t (and shouldn’t) exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:26 PM
–

Not everyone lies about feeling sexual desire at all. If someone isn’t attracted to me anymore to the point he’s faking it, that’s a problem. Thinking I looked better when I was younger, but he’s still attracted and still wants me? That’s fine, and no he doesn’t need to bring it up all the time lol. If you feel no desire for someone at all, and find sex with him boring and you hate it, and you pretend you’re into it, that’s dishonest on a different level than just like not pointing out some flaw…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:24 PM
–

I’m not saying brutal honesty though. Like there’s a big difference between my partner deciding not to point out women who are hotter than me, vs spending years together and lying about ever having felt sexual desire for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 02:36 PM
–

I don’t relate to this at ALL. And if your partner has no idea about this, I would consider that a pretty harmful lie. Imagine thinking you have this great relationship and your partner desires you the way you desire them, and then you find out that they never actually felt any desire for you and they’ve been just faking it for years. Ouch. Faking orgasm is different than faking desire when you actually feel nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:24 PM
3

That’s a pretty sad way to have fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:04 PM
2

I am very sure none of us want incels to just keep doing their thing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 08:25 PM
3

Who is out there telling incels to just keep doing what they’re doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 08:15 PM
3

It’s interesting to me that when you say this men will listen to it, but any time women say that we don’t care if you’re 6 ft we’re told that we’re lying lol But yes, being 5’8 will only keep you from getting dates with the women who have a bunch of other superficial requirements. The man I love is 5’8 and I find him so much sexier than my 6’2 ex, height seriously isn’t the only thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:03 PM
9

So when men tell women to “choose better,” it’s your opinion that’s being said out of some altruistic desire to save us from bad relationships? I’ve only ever heard the men here say that either in the context of whining that they can’t get dates, or victim blaming abused women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 06:39 PM
14

Well, feel free to give a different take on it. Or you could just continue to be fascinated.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 06:05 PM
56

The people who try to lower women’s self esteem aren’t at all concerned about if we choose good relationships for ourselves. They’re hoping if we feel shitty enough about ourselves maybe we’ll lower our standards enough to date them. I don’t take anyone seriously who complains about women being too picky and in the next breath tells us to “choose better”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 03:59 PM
9

I’ve never been the one pursing a relationship, but I’m not standoffish. I’ve always thought standoffish more meant you’re aloof or unfriendly in a conversation, rather than just not being the one to approach and hit on someone. I don’t generally approach men because 1. I don’t have to, and 2. because I don’t have to, I feel like it would make me look desperate or lower value if I did. But I’m nice and friendly to people, and not standoffish at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 03:50 PM
1

I’ve never seen normal people making arguments about this in either direction. I’m not a fan of these threads that are like “look at what this fringe crazy person says! Let’s argue about it!”
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 03:32 PM
3

No, you responded exactly how I thought you would. Or you already decided what my answer was and didn’t read to understand what I actually said. Why bother asking a question if you’re unwilling to hear any answer other than the one you’ve already decided. It’s a waste of everyone’s time It’s not “needless caveats,” there are circumstances in which I would be comfortable initiating sex, and circumstances where I would not. A situation where the man doesn’t want it is one where I would very defini…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 01:09 PM
3

Don’t put words in my mouth. I don’t expect men to read non-existent signals. I also have no problem initiating sex when it’s a mutually wanted thing. This thread is about waiting for a man who says he isn’t ready, I’m saying if he’s not ready I’m certainly not going to push on it because I only want sex when it’s mutually wanted. You assumed way too much about me based on nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 12:57 PM
8

I’m not going to initiate sex with someone who’s giving no indication he wants it. Without feeling desired, sex does nothing for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 04:31 AM
21

This is just going to be a personal preference thing for everyone. If we’ve been dating long enough that it’s unusual not to have sex yet, then I would expect we know each other well enough to talk about it. If he isn’t able to even talk about sex, then it likely won’t work out, since sex is an important part of a relationship for me. If he is wanting to wait until he feels a closer emotional connection, that’s fine with me. I don’t want sex without emotions either. However, if it’s been a few d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 07:39 PM
5

Neurodivergent woman from a liberal area and every woman I know is this way too lol Most women are not wired where we enjoy or want sex with someone where there’s no mental/emotional connection. Even the women I know who have had casual sex phases it’s not truly random with zero connection, it’s more that the connection can happen quickly. Very few women enjoy the thought of some random man we don’t even like as a person being inside our bodies
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 04:00 PM
4

I mean, I can imagine a scenario where I would feel like I have to murder someone, it’s easy to imagine whatever you want. It means nothing at all in terms of what people actually do, so having this as a study seems pointless
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 11:14 PM
7

The way they asked the men was at least a little more telling, because they were asked if they would force someone if there was no way to be caught and no repercussions. They didn’t ask the women an equivalent question, they were asked if they could imagine any scenario where they would accuse someone. Which doesn’t at all translate into any desire or inclination to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 11:04 PM
13

No, it’s not the same. I’m not going to go overboard letting a man know I’m interested when he hasn’t expressed interest yet, because it lowers my value in his eyes, makes me seem desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:29 PM
18

Right, I was going to say…that comment right there is pretty good evidence that it’s not “plausible deniability,” but rather not wanting to be seen as pathetic or desperate.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:15 PM
–

I don’t feel anger, but thank you for your concern. I do feel pity for you for whatever happened that caused you to think this way about abuse, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:13 PM
–

I don’t know you, I have no emotions invested in you, so I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. Putting “abused” in quotes and saying women should take responsibility does let me know enough, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:09 PM
15

I’m gonna go ahead and say that when my ex flew off the handle and abused me for unloading the dishwasher too loudly, I don’t feel responsible for that. Or I’m sorry, I guess “abused” should be in quotes because it was deserved?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:04 PM
15

The idea in your second paragraph is what’s missing for a lot of men here. Lecturing women on “accountability” while taking none yourself seems kinda silly (not directed at you, I’m saying that in general men would get a little farther with their arguments on this if they had an awareness of both parts of what you said)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 07:00 PM
19

Why are you wanting studies on people’s imaginations to be done on a larger scale, rather than just studying the actual occurrence of these things happening?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:42 PM
3

As someone who has been raped by 3 different men during my lifetime, yes. There’s definitely a general sense that I’m unsafe at all times. It’s not fun. A lot women I know have been raped. How many men do you personally know who have gone to prison over a false rape accusation?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:35 PM
9

80/20 isn’t a “rule.” It’s an overused statistic from a particular study that’s been shaped and twisted to say something it doesn’t say. I know men who date, given that I do in fact date men. And I’m friends with men. And…exist in a world that’s half populated by men. Most men are able to have dates and relationships and sex, it’s a small (but fucking loud on Reddit) minority who can’t. “Uh no I’m right” isn’t actually an argument that has merit lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:33 PM
16

Do you not see the irony of saying stuff like this, but then blaming women for why you can’t get a date?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:29 PM
6

It’s just simply untrue that most men get no female attention. Or that only a small minority of men are having sex. You’re surrounding yourself with like-minded people and then drawing conclusions about your gender as a whole when that’s not reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:25 PM
10

What insults? Men on average have more sexual partners than women. Your personal opinion is that men can’t “get laid” very much at all, so I concluded that you must not have many sexual partners. I apologize if that was the wrong conclusion, but either way it wasn’t an insult. Women having “access” to more options for mediocre meaningless sex doesn’t mean most of us actually partake in it. You’re seeing that it would be easier for the average woman to have casual sex, and concluding that we have…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:21 PM
24

I asked basically the same question here a few weeks ago. I got a few insightful answers, but those weren’t from the people who actually go around shouting about how “women lack accountability.” The best I can understand it is that men feel dating is unfair to them personally, they see that most women could get meaningless sex if we wanted it, don’t understand why we don’t want that, and think we should be more grateful for this opportunity to have something we don’t want, and more sympathetic t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:14 PM
7

Right, no one is stopping you from dating whoever you want, as long as it’s legal and as long as the person you’re dating consents to it. I don’t understand this need to make everyone else agree and approve of your relationship, the people who fixate on that seem overly defensive and like maybe there’s a reason they think people won’t approve.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:03 PM
7

Maybe you’re not having more sexual partners, but on average men have slightly more than women. I couldn’t follow the rest of what you said, but it sounded like a jumble of basic incel talking points all kind of mushed together?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 06:01 PM
4

Agree with this, while we usually can spot which other people are generally considered attractive, people seem to be really bad at identifying what about themselves they can improve that will increase their chances of getting a date. If you’re a man who’s relatively in shape already, hitting the gym for hours to get an insanely muscular body is more likely to impress other men than attract women (“hit the gym” is good dating advice for a man who is either scrawny and needs to put on a bit of wei…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:55 PM
9

OP didn’t specify anything about “leagues” or any other qualifiers you just added. And it may be true in your circle of friends (or the parts of Reddit you frequent) that most men aren’t “getting laid,” but that’s not reality. Also women are generally not likely to be out collecting tons of sexual partners either. All these whiny narratives about women being promiscuous are based on a pretty small percentage of women
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:34 PM
1

Many men come into the “ask women” spaces on Reddit pretty convinced that either their height or penis size is the only reason women won’t date them. Women generally are more attracted to taller men, although taller is a relative number. And very few women base any of our attraction on dick size, given that most of us don’t even see it until we’re at least attracted enough to get naked, so I strongly disagree that we’re generally more attracted to bigger dicks, it’s just really not a factor at a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:31 PM
6

Sorry, I keep forgetting that! It’s so crazy and evil that we only want to date men we’re actually attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 04:58 PM
0

women do not like virgin men for some reason I’m not even sure what this has to do with the OP, but it’s just wild how people here will hop on a train of thought and just take it right off a cliff without any stops for logic. Because of course it must be that women are some evil monolith that has a mysterious hatred of virgins. And not that the qualities that have made a man unsuccessful with women in the past are the same qualities that will continue making him unsuccessful with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 04:26 PM
1

No, obviously conventional attractiveness plays a role, but other factors can also be a factor. And I said that fixating on one trait, such as a very specific height or anything at all about dick size, isn’t going to give you a good picture of what women are attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 04:12 PM
1

Nothing I said was about me in particular.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 04:02 PM
8

No, I don’t think false accusations are ok. Obviously. I didn’t imply that I thought it was ok, either. I would hope most of us are on the same page that rape is not ok, and false accusations are not ok. The OP is trying to claim that men should feel as physically unsafe around women as women feel around men, and gave as his reasoning the example that a man in prison is in danger, and I was just pointing out that in prison, he’s not around women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 03:47 PM
9

If you have a more recent study where those numbers can be proven somehow other than self-reporting, please let me know. OP’s supporting evidence is remembering what his friend group did when they were younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 03:22 PM
12

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 03:20 PM
-1

None of that is what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 03:20 PM
28

Asking people if they can imagine a situation where they would make a false claim doesn’t mean anything when 82% of the people who said they could imagine it don’t have their reason accounted for. It’s like asking people if they can imagine a situation where they would murder. Most people can imagine it, extreme cases where it’s necessary for safety etc. But most people don’t murder. Basing any sort of statistics on people stating the outer limitations of their imagination isn’t really a good lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 03:00 PM
13

The physical danger to a man in prison is…not from women
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 02:54 PM
20

Except, the data doesn’t support what you’re saying at all. By age 30, 33% of men have had 10+ sexual partners, compared with 21% of women. When you randomly state that women sleep around in their 20s and men have one or two relationships, and then base a whole theory around that made up fact, I have trouble taking the theory seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 02:46 PM
–

Yes, can confirm we want this.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:56 AM
4

I mean sure, depends on the conversation and how much has been invested already. But this is a scenario I see a lot in the dating advice subs on Reddit, and a lot of times someone posts about ghosting and includes screenshots of the interaction, it’s a situation where they never made plans to meet up or anything, and either the conversation was boring and faded out, or the person who says they were ghosted was being super pushy and there’s a reason the other person stopped responding.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 05:43 AM
6

I don’t agree that it’s automatically unhealthy and toxic. And people here don’t all have the same definition of “ghosting.” Ghosting that is unhealthy and toxic: making plans to meet, and then not showing up and not bothering to communicate about it disappearing after a few dates have gone well, and things seem otherwise fine, with no communication about it ending an established relationship by blocking or suddenly going no contact, with no communication about why Ghosting that is ok: the final…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/25 04:09 AM
–

That’s how healthy relationships already work. This isn’t a new concept.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 11:31 PM
1

Also, this anecdote doesn’t even really do anything to show looks don’t matter in lesbian relationships either. Like, this is a pretty common thing, several of the lesbian couples I know are a taller more feminine women with a shorter masculine presenting woman…in OP’s story it just sounds to me like it’s her friend’s type
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 11:29 PM
2

You can choose how you act on your attraction, and choose to override just the pure visceral physical attraction when other factors are more important, but you can’t force yourself to feel attraction if it’s not there.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 07:25 PM
3

I couldn’t just choose to be attracted to women when I’m not.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 06:44 PM
5

Like where they went to school from k-12? Why the fuck would that matter as an adult?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 06:36 PM
3

This really only makes any sense (and even then, not much) if you believe that we have choice in who we’re attracted to, and believe that straight relationships are inherently toxic. Since neither of those things are true, it makes zero sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 06:30 PM
10

So your basis for this claim about how women view men is…one anecdote of a lesbian relationship? Looks aren’t the only thing that matters. I’ll take an average looking man whose personality clicks with mine over a hot asshole any day. But looks do matter, physical attraction matters. It just doesn’t always matter in the very specific way that men here claim it does. Physical attraction can be about things other than someone’s level of conventional attractiveness. Some women don’t care much about…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 05:28 PM
6

Perception and usage of names can change over time, people aren’t naming baby boys Hillary in 2025. OP is talking about giving very specifically feminine names to boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 03:57 PM
4

I could see the argument for more gender neutral names where then your kid could use either a more masculine or feminine nickname when they get older and feel stronger in their gender identity. But I don’t understand the argument for just giving them very specifically feminine names, how is that pushing gender less than giving them a specifically masculine name? Also, if you do actually have children please keep in mind that they’re the ones who actually have to go through life dealing with the …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 03:48 PM
3

Why the need to comment about father figures in reply to me? That certainly wasn’t what I was talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/25 01:05 AM
15

Seriously. Disagreement ≠ lack of understanding lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:23 PM
15

And this is exactly what I mean…some of the men here insist it’s 25. You say “somewhere between 35-45.” This isn’t just a hard and fast rule that applies to all men, so bringing up “the wall” always just feels like a sad attempt to try and shake our sense of self in the hopes that we’ll suddenly want to date men we aren’t attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:14 PM
20

People who comment that they’re still easily able to get dates much older than 25 aren’t misunderstanding you. That’s usually in response to men thinking they can scare us into settling for them because our “value” will go so far down no one will want us. Which is funny, given that our experience clearly shows us that’s not true. Like we can fully understand what you mean about smv and all that, it’s not very complicated. It’s just that you don’t speak for all men, not all of you want women to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 11:04 PM
24

In what way do you perceive people on this sub as misunderstanding what redpill means when they talk about the wall? I think it’s pretty clear, not a hard concept to understand. I mean, we debate about how valid it actually is, and about the fact that men don’t all agree that we have no value over 25, but I think everyone understands what you’re saying just fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 10:43 PM
9

Agree with this, in particular people who self identify as “anxious attachment style” will often label anyone they date as “avoidant.” It’s a way to not take responsibility for the fact that they’re being clingy and pushing people away.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 09:55 PM
7

Autistics can stand up for ourselves when someone says something bad about us. I didn’t find this use of the term offensive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 02:29 PM
11

As an autistic person, I don’t find this descriptor offensive at all. I wonder if the person crying ableism is on the spectrum and offended, or just assuming that any mention of autism is offensive?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 01:00 PM
7

I agree with that, “red pill” seems to somehow be used for… the men who focus on self improvement and have a realistic view of what they need to bring to a relationship and how they can’t just be a “nice guy” and expect sex in exchange and also the men who feel women owe them sex and feel a sometimes frightening amount of anger if they’re not getting it, or just kind of mope around talking about “chads” and stuff I’m not sure why those two groups both identify with red pill, because they seem pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:10 PM
4

I think we just are seeing very different things and won’t agree here. I see most of the women I know taking responsibility for making our lives the way we want them, there’s nothing passive about it at all. We tend to not be the one making the initial approach in the early stages of dating, mostly because of a lot of social conditioning (my mom literally would not let me place phone calls to boys, I could only talk to them if they called me. Most of us got varying degrees of messages that we lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:05 PM
16

Is it your opinion that the majority of men who gather online and get themselves all worked up about “chads” and “women live life on easy mode” are just being proactive and trying to create the best outcomes ahead of time? Because it seems like most of it is self fulfilling prophecy and an attempt to protect themselves from ever really feeling a rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:30 PM
9

A majority of women don’t believe in astrology either lol Learning from your mistakes isn’t passive. Getting advice as you’re navigating a situation isn’t passive. If you only look at “how can I proactively make this happen” and don’t have the ability to reevaluate when things don’t go according to your plan, that’s not better. I never understand why there’s such a push to identify normal slight differences in male and female behavior, and then use that to be like “the other gender are terrible …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:26 PM
15

Men doubt themselves, too. We just respond to self doubt in different ways. A woman asking how she should handle a relationship differently, for advice on where she’s going wrong with dating, is taking accountability (that word the men here like to throw around) and trying to figure out how she can improve her situation. Some of the men feeling self doubt because they’re having trouble attracting women deal with it by coming up with a whole library of new terms and abbreviations to categorize wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 10:19 PM
7

The number of women I’ve seen change everything about themselves for a guy kind of makes me disagree But regardless, I don’t see how approaching dating from different angles means women are deflecting and blaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 09:05 PM
7

You don’t have to like someone just because they tell you to.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:55 PM
8

How is it not logical, or in any way related to blame and deflection, for women to prefer focusing on individual relationships rather than taking a “solve the equation to attract the biggest number of people” approach?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:47 PM
7

Omg this type of red pill “logic” is annoying I was fully with you on your actual point, totally agree that a lot of it is a difference in our general approach to dating, men look at it more abstractly and generally, trying to solve the equation and find a strategy that will work on the highest number of women. Women care less about what will work on lots of men in general, and want to understand the best ways to build attraction with one person. But then you just wildly pivot to saying this mea…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:34 PM
9

I see women asking other women all the time for feedback on how they should have handled a situation differently, how to deal with common relationship problems, “did I scare this guy off on a date” type questions, etc. It just tends to be a lot more specific to the individual situation, because we’re not actually going to get anywhere in our specific situations by asking for generic advice about men in general. And having an entire internet culture around being all doom and gloom and blaming eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 08:15 PM
9

That seems like an issue inside yourself that you might need to work on. Blaming and being mad at women as a whole because a lot of us don’t share your kink? Also you said this about women who prefer to be submissive: they are still more comfortable playing out the “weak” part in sexuality. It’s overall toxic. Please explain to me how it’s toxic when women are submissive, but not when men are? Stop insisting that people should participate in your kink, there’s nothing at all wrong with having it…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:14 PM
0

I had this conversation with you the other day, don’t need to have it again lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 07:10 PM
9

You’re literally just kink shaming women who don’t happen to share yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:57 PM
4

Oh, you’re the “body positivity has made women stop going to the gym because they all want to be fat now” guy, I didn’t notice the username. I’ll just say congrats again on the weight loss, and good luck to you!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:49 PM
11

Please explain why you believe that women are wrong for not being into femdom? Not everyone is going to share your kink, and that’s fine. Why are you interpreting not being into something as hatred? You’re saying that women aren’t actually expressing hatred but you feel that it’s widespread, but don’t give any reason that you think it’s any more than women just not always being into your kink
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:47 PM
13

Blame is the wrong approach. Why would you blame someone who doesn’t like your specific kink, any more than they should blame you for liking it? It just means you’re not compatible, it’s not anyone’s fault. Biphobia sucks, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:29 PM
4

You’re talking about the majority of women who state a specific height preference I assume the reason that’s the most common number is that it’s an easy simple number, putting 5’11 sounds oddly specific. A majority of women, even those who generally prefer taller men, don’t actually have a literal “must be taller than this line” type of preference. The average woman is enough shorter than 6 ft that an inch or two either way doesn’t make any difference at all
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:27 PM
26

If someone judges you, so what? I get judged for my choices all the time, it doesn’t affect my day. I will say, though, if you’re hearing judgment about the preferences you’re holding out for, that probably means you’re expressing those preferences out loud? Like I prefer a man who’s sexually dominant with me, but I only share that with a man I have a sexual relationship with, I don’t just share that with other people. If I did, I feel like I would get judgment, not for my actual preference but …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:22 PM
4

He doubts it because another woman elsewhere on the thread stated how she approaches sex, so you must be lying if you have a different approach 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:17 PM
5

It’s not “always 6’0.” This is one woman stating her personal preference, and men thanking her for being honest as if all the women who don’t have this specific preference are lying lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:15 PM
34

It’s not wrong to hold out for a specific preference, whether that’s a certain type of lifestyle, someone you think is hot enough, or whatever. It’s wrong to lash out and find ways to blame women if the ones who meet your specific preference don’t want to date you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 06:12 PM
11

But the social skills that would enable them to get dates are just basic social skills that are important in most areas of life. None of the stuff I’ve done to teach my kids (or give them opportunities to develop) social skills is specific to dating at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:58 PM
4

This might be an issue with some of the women you meet, I’ve definitely never been with a man who was embarrassed to introduce me to people. That sounds like a relationship I wouldn’t want at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:54 PM
15

I have kids but I only have daughters so no personal experience with sons. But generally I don’t feel that I’m responsible for (or that it’s at all appropriate for me to be involved in) my children being able to get a date. Healthy dating life, yes. Keeping the lines of communication open with my girls is really important, teaching them what’s involved in a healthy relationship and what to watch out for. My oldest has gone on dates, she talks to me about them and I want to be a safe person she c…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:05 PM
11

Thanks, I assumed that’s what this was but didn’t want to actually dig for it. For a relationship, we want the whole package, someone we’re physically attracted to and who also has a personality that clicks with ours, shared values, etc. A woman who just wants sex will lower the personality and values standards for a hookup because that stuff doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:21 PM
2

I’m glad to hear they’re former friends. Sorry that happened :(
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:25 PM
0

So are we talking about abuse and criminal behavior? Because that’s a whole different direction to take this and wasn’t at all the topic. So if you want to take something that wasn’t even being talked about and apply what I said to that, then you do you I guess. But obviously that’s not what I said or what I was talking about. I don’t think most men (of any made up “tier”) are going to abuse me or be criminals. So a man I’m not attracted to being like “look at me, I won’t beat your ass!” isn’t v…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:12 PM
23

For sure there are instances where a woman becomes a mother, and then only gives love to the kids and shuts the man out emotionally. But I think some of the time when it feels that way, she’s not loving her partner less, she just temporarily has less attention to give. I love my kids with all my heart, and I’m also very capable of completely loving a man. But I’m not capable of giving him all my attention and care, when my kids need attention and care too. Some men view a woman’s split attention…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:05 PM
11

Simple answer is, internalized homophobia. People who don’t consider themselves homophobic will subconsciously see a man as less masculine if he’s had sex with other men. There’s also an element of bi erasure. A lot of people feel that bisexual men are just gay men who haven’t fully come out (I have several gay friends who insist on this, to the point they have a little saying about it, “bi now, gay later”). So I think some women hesitate because they worry that he’s not actually attracted to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 02:41 PM
10

Right? Like unless you’re genuinely starving or something, just skip the awkward date and make something cheap at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 01:25 PM
1

Not for having sexuality. For feeling entitled to express that sexuality at us when we’re not in a sexual relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 01:05 PM
-1

Men here love to talk about tiktoks from shitty women as if they somehow represent us. Normal women aren’t going to shame, laugh at, or ostracize someone just for asking us out. We are sometimes going to call someone out for not being able to take no for an answer, or trying to escalate things sexually with no warning (unsolicited dick pics, or following up a question about your favorite restaurant by asking us our favorite sex position or something) Also, your last sentence isn’t true at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 01:03 PM
3

What was wrong with my answer? You asked what we spend the most free time, energy, and money working towards and for me that’s my kids. For me (and I think a number of women) the answer to this will be personal relationships. I have a career and I have hobbies and things that I like, but my energy and care goes toward the people I love.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 12:54 PM
2

A woman saying no to sex with you is not a punishment. It’s statements like that one that show you really do just feel entitled to our bodies, to the point that if we don’t give you sex you view it as a punishment. And women can ask men out, some do. How would more women asking men out fix this problem, in your mind? If a woman doesn’t want you asking her out, she’s not going to ask you out either
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 12:17 PM
2

Friendship is mutual. Or at least, normal friendship is…I get the sense you might not fully understand what friends are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:20 AM
1

I don’t think anyone thinks you’ve never spoken to a woman in your life, it’s more that if you’re speaking to women but not able to get to a mutual flirting stage with them then there’s probably a reason. If a man starts talking to me about something I’m interested in, that’s great! If he sticks to just talking about that thing, and facts about it, and the conversation doesn’t get past that point, then it’s not building attraction, it’s just having a friendly chat. It sounds like you might be mi…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 05:06 AM
3

Do you have friends who you would trust to be honest with you about what the issue is? If there’s something that’s giving off that bad of an impression to women, your friends probably know what it is. It’s easier to find someone to date if you’re conventionally attractive, but it’s not impossible to find someone if you’re not conventionally attractive. I’ve dated (and been genuinely attracted to) men who wouldn’t be considered conventionally attractive based on just looks. But they had an energy…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:34 AM
5

No, I’m not saying anything about his “quality.” I’m saying a man who holds anger toward all women is not someone I would trust to treat me well. And also that it’s really easy to look at a relationship you’re not a part of, and think you would handle it so much better. That’s what I mean with the driving thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 04:00 AM
8

I feel bad for you that your life experiences have led you to actually believe women can’t be genuinely attracted to men. I can understand that it would be easier emotionally to just convince yourself that we’re all lying and are incapable of experiencing attraction, than to understand that we can be very attracted to men. Not for “social status” or whatever, when we’re attracted to a man we feel a strong desire for him that has nothing to do with any of that material stuff. And I’m sorry that y…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:57 AM
13

When called out on the fact that his entire rant is based on nothing, OP claims that he means it’s like this in the cities so no one understands because it must just not be that way where they live. I live in one of the cities, it is still very much nothing like OP describes. Your approach to life is so much more logical…if you feel you have a disadvantage (because all of us have advantages and disadvantages of some kind) work on it and make your life into what you want it to be. I don’t underst…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:51 AM
9

I’m a millennial who lives in a city, it’s not anything like OP describes here either lol This is one of those posts that I don’t even bother trying to respond to because it’s just this absolute mess of playing victim while crying about how women are victims, and just generally ignoring reality. And we’re all just supposed to debate this shit like any of it has merit.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:42 AM
5

And I’m pointing out that it’s not black and white like that, most of us don’t separate men into two opposite “tiers.” We just aren’t wanting to date someone we’re not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:27 AM
1

Again, if he’s offering friendship, and she does want to be friends, how is she in the wrong for that? If he’s pretending to be her friend, but really has no interest in being friends and is secretly resenting her for not having sex with him, he clearly sucks. Don’t pretend to be a friend, some of us value our friendships and it hurts to find out someone you thought was a friend is just trying to fuck you (but yeah, rejecting you and saying to follow her insta is bullshit)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 02:04 AM
1

In what way is she an egocentric whore for not wanting to date him? If she’s not romantically interested but likes him, and he’s sticking around being a friend, how is she wrong for being his friend? Would it make her a better person if she refused to be friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 01:29 AM
6

I’m not shifting goalposts, I’m clarifying. I’m saying that I don’t feel disgust or anything worse than indifference toward men just because I don’t find them attractive. This person then commented that women frequently say they feel disgust toward men they’re not attracted to, and I was clarifying that it’s not their mere existence that’s disgusting, it’s when someone we’re not attracted to won’t take no for an answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 12:44 AM
3

Personally, I think it sucks when someone I think is a friend wants to fuckzone me. If someone is clear that she doesn’t want to date but would like to be friends, and you agree to be friends, act like a friend, but really you’re not interested in being friends, the person being dishonest in this situation is you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 11:37 PM
10

Do you think a woman should not be able to shut down an interaction that includes unwanted sexual attention? Because definitely we’re allowed to shut that all the way down. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s arbitrary, if a woman doesn’t want sex with you, you don’t need to understand the reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:55 PM
7

If they’re disgusted by it, I’m gonna go ahead and say the sexual attention is unwanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:47 PM
0

Thanks, appreciate it 🙏🙏
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:38 PM
11

And I think it’s mostly men who see it that way, it’s men who try to separate everyone into alphas and betas and all that. People have varying degrees of attractiveness, it’s not like they’re either hot or hideous with no in between, and we don’t all agree on where the line is between attractive and unattractive. The OP is quite clearly saying much more than that That’s why I said it was a lot of words.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:30 PM
5

You’re right, you caught me. I have magical powers here.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:27 PM
1

Idk, I don’t control what people upvote 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:21 PM
5

What in my comment would make you think that’s what I was saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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