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justgotnewglasses Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by justgotnewglasses on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Yeah. Real or imaginary, something about the marriage made them feel held back. It might have been a clash of needs, dreams or personality, but it's the past and you can't change it. Look towards the future. Make sure that you're never in another relationship where you or your partner feels held back - whether it's real or imaginary.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 01:01 AM
1

Yeah. Don't let these people into your house.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 12:54 PM
3

I don't share your religious beliefs so I don't truly understand, but I can relate to how you feel. It's tough.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:00 PM
4

This post is not demonising childless women whatsoever. OP is talking about having a shared experience and a mutual understanding of the role your that co-parenting plays in your life. There's a bit of snarkiness about bad experiences but there's no hatred. Don't create drama.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 02:02 AM
5

Take the high road, the view is better. It's tough, but try to think long term. After the hardest ordeal of your life - separation, you get an even tougher ordeal - divorce. Scorched earth is tempting, but you'll all get burnt. Assume a judge will read every message you send, get zen, and vent here when it's too much.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 11:11 PM
3

Mine too. $80k.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 06:30 AM
1

Yeah. It's tough when you're reliant on people you just don't trust. It causes a special kind of stress. I've been there in a lot of ways, and I'm still there in a lot of other ways. Only you can weigh up the cost/benefit ratio, because only you know how helpful or how damaging it is. Don't let anyone judge your decision once you've made it, because it's terrible to have doubt sewn into something you know in your gut, and it's damaging to your friendships and relationships to have to justify you…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 10:30 AM
1

Sorry I can't receive pms. I use a battered old iPad for ireddit and it can't handle them for some reason. But it's good to hear you're staying social. I didn't date 18 months, and it led to a lot of personal growth. I had a lot of healing to do - it paid off for me, I hope it pays off for you. It was hard work, but I made my way back to myself, through past and present trauma. Parts still linger, and always will, but that doesn't exclude me or anyone from happiness and fulfilment. My comment wa…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 11:09 PM
5

Monk mode is NOT isolation mode. Solitary confinement is a punishment for a reason. You can get social validation by spending time with friends. The biggest cycle that most men need to break is reliance on your partner for all your validation. Generally, women have broad social circles, and aren't afraid to share their problems, fears and concerns widely, but men have been socialised to show no vulnerability at all, except to their partner. And this is doubled if you've got trauma in your histor…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 09:07 PM
1

I think you're responding to sarcasm.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 08:51 PM
8

This reads like a testimonial for an MLM
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 08:50 AM
12

Not the worst thing she did during the marriage or the divorce, but when she came over to get some of her stuff. I left some framed prints out for her to take or to leave. She took the family portrait and left it outside next to the wheelie bin. That was pretty fucking cold.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 11:28 AM
1

I just helped her move and get set up in the new place. I made sure her and the kids all knew they could come to me if her ex came after her. Apparently he had a bit of a psycho streak, so knowing she could be safe with me was important for her, and offering it was important for me, even if it put me in potential danger. I daydreamed of taking her back a little bit - but is wasn't really her in particular - but the stability, seeing the kids every day, someone to swing by the shops and grab some…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 01:15 PM
2

When I signed, the lawyer told me two years after settlement. And he was pretty spot on. For me, the healing happened after she left her new husband. He was abusive to her and the kids, and their safety was a higher priority than holding onto all the shit she put me through. She came to me for safety and it healed a lot of the wounds. I haven't forgotten the fact that she put my kids in that position, however. Forgive your enemies but remember the bastard's name, after all.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 11:56 AM
9

No need to try and piss her off - she can do that on her own. Concentrate on yourself and your own life. Anything you do for spite will backfire.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:58 PM
5

Yeah, most people do. And when they do, they don't need to come to support subs - so it's rare to hear their voices here. Edit: clarity.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:43 PM
1

Apologies for the late reply, I only got this notification now because of some glitch. OP was talking about using red pill tactics to get women, but what he really wanted to do was to create a lasting emotional bond with a partner. Those two things don't align, and will only lead to disappointment for OP. So that's the context of my comment. Regarding the red pill in general, I think you painted a pretty good picture of how it fucks with men's heads. There are better ways to understand what isn'…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:07 AM
5

Yep. I'll reiterate what others have said. The counsellor doesn't have the solutions, but they're there to help you figure them out. Many different styles, approaches, and schools of thought, as well as many different personalities, specialities and skill levels among counsellors, so don't let a shitty one put you off. What works for you might not work for your best friend and vice versa. Marriage/couples counselling only works for people who want the relationship to work. Once one person has ma…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:55 AM
11

Red pill will fuck your head up. Ditch that bullshit. You will be happiest when your life aligns with your ideals. Relax with women, show them who you are and it will work or it won't, but you won't be left wondering what would have happened if you showed her who you really are. Another commenter mentioned something about her never breaking a sweat. They were talking about idolisation of women - and if that's what you meant, then I agree with them. If you idolise, you cannot have an equal relati…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 11:14 AM
10

It's the stability of the family unit you miss. You can find that stability in other ways, and you'll have to. It's easy to fantasise about slotting back in, and it's understandable too. My ex split from her 2nd husband at the start of the year, and I found myself thinking things like 'she could move back in and I won't have to deal with alternating between parenting alone and being alone.' Then I spent five minutes in a queue with her to get my kid's passport authorised and well... five minutes…
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 07:36 AM
8

Please don't take life advice off the Internet. You're the expert on your life and we only know a paragraph about it. Reddit is good for support, but terrible, terrible, terrible for advice. That said, if you and your wife both want your marriage to work, then you should work at it. If it's done, then it's done and it's time to walk away and begin the difficult process of disentangling your lives. Both options are tough, and only you know the answer.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 02:20 PM
1

Potential recruit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 10:35 AM
-3

Don't follow anything red pill. Fuck the red pill. It's bitter, toxic and woman hating. It's alpha bro bullshit. But to answer your original question - if you want to continue your marriage, go to counselling with an open mind. If you're not willing to work for your marriage, then I'm sorry but it's over. Only you can answer this. Edit: u/ashintray don't join these fuckwits. First five hits I got from google: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/apr/14/the-red-pill-reddit-modern-misogyny-…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 06:08 AM
3

Create your own value by healing and finding peace. Do not devalue women, it will only poison you. The red pill is hell.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 09:50 AM
4

This is a skewed group. There's a lot of grief. Most of the men here are in the middle of the worst part of their divorce. I'm getting over the anger and betrayal and beginning to develop a better relationship with my ex, and I imagine I'll quietly unsub here. Also, the people who have amicable divorces don't need a support sub, or at least not this kind of support.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 05:11 PM
20

If I knew then what I know now, I never would have gotten married at all.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 02:12 PM
2

We can help promote men's mental health and wellbeing without destroying women. It's impossible to move forward while we're still holding onto bitterness.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 06:48 AM
11

I can relate to people on a level that seems open and vulnerable - I can talk honestly about the past without shame, I can tell friends what I've learnt and talk openly about the journey I've been on, and people are very responsive to it. I know if I actually laid everything bare then people would run away. Most days I think I've found the right balance between the past and the future, by showing my vulnerability without showing my pain. Other days I feel like a big fat dirty liar, like I'm tell…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 05:42 AM
5

Assume every correspondence will go in front of a judge - emails, text messages, voicemail, and accounts of verbal interactions. Tread lightly - it's a war of presentation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 02:15 AM
8

I retained the marital home, and I renovated. It purged all the ghosts. Bought myself a guitar too.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/21 06:00 AM
3

Go check out r/BPDlovedones and see if the stories resonate. She won't change, she needs huge clinical intervention and I guess you do as well. See a therapist as often as you can and protect yourself legally. Exercise as much as you can - it gives you happiness and clarity. Avoid the bottle too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/21 11:22 PM
2

2 years is average, according to my lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 06:26 AM
6

Screenshot everything, upload the pictures to a new device - use google cloud or something similar if you can - or do it the old fashioned way through a cable. Do not talk on the phone, keep everything in writing. Do not threaten her, calm down before you reply. Tread lightly. My ex wife is a narcissist who modelled behaviour that left me isolated from my friends and family for over 13 years, so I could serve her needs and ego. It has taken years to untrain myself, the behaviour had become so in…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/21 12:50 AM
1

Get a lawyer Edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJ0hOKCSuns
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/21 01:01 PM
2

Congratulations. It sounds like my divorce. It burnt me and changed me and made me stronger. It is the hardest growing pains you can imagine, but I fear nothing now. I hope the same for you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/21 01:37 PM
3

Rising Phoenix - I'll post a link. Edit: here - https://www.buzzsprout.com/1487182 And here - https://risingphoenixpodcast.com/ The host is on reddit, he seems like a great guy. We've had a few emails back and forth.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/21 02:59 PM
1

We have shared google spreadsheet where we upload receipts, and we balance it out every few months. It's almost always her paying me back. We share school fees, school laptops (but not personal electronics), medical bills and a few other things like music lessons and swimming lessons. I pay for my eldest's phone because it's $10 a month and the argument is not worth the hassle. Toys, books, clothes and school uniforms are paid separately.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/21 12:49 AM
0

I would love this quote if it was emphasized differently - to build up men instead of pushing down women. The middle two lines are inspiring, but it's wrapped in misogyny.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/21 07:54 AM
14

It’s also incredibly disrespectful to people who have actually been abused.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/21 04:33 AM
5

I had my ex wife’s initials tattooed on my ring finger. I had it covered by a black heart when I was really low, and then filled out the rest of my fingers because I didn’t want to be defined by someone else’s decision. I used to feel self conscious about it, but not anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/21 03:09 AM
2

Wow. ‘Trauma is a truth that tells us a lie.’ Thanks. This is the episode that I’ve needed to hear.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/21 05:47 AM
2

Thanks. I’ve been listening to them and I appreciate it all. I’ve lived through almost everything you’ve covered and I’m amazed how similar the experiences are, even if the circumstances are different and we’re in opposite sides of the world (Australia for me).
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/21 11:08 PM
2

It was the same for me. Different story, same process. Nobody understands. I was at the point when an exasperated psychiatrist yelled at me ‘yes you do! You know why she left!’ And nearly three years later, I don’t know what I did that was so bad it was worth getting treated like that. I wasn’t perfect, I know I did wrong, but I did a hell of a lot more good things than bad things.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/20 04:38 AM
4

If you’re truly done, then you’re truly done and there’s nothing to say. If you give up the kids and you’re not truly done then you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Only you can make that call. Fight for your kids, don’t fight against your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/20 01:17 AM
4

Very similar to my story. Kids 12, 8 and 5. Brutal, high conflict divorce. Sick and tired of battle mode. I never did anything for the sake of hurting or ‘getting back at her’, but consistently told the truth and voiced genuine concerns about her parenting, which is far from excellent, but adequate at best. She continues to withhold details exactly like what you’ve listed, change arrangements without consultation or consent, or have any basic communication about the kids. Everything is second ha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/20 12:55 AM
16

There’s only one game now and it’s the long game.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/20 07:17 AM
2

If you’re wearing rose coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/20 12:15 PM
1

Is it possible he was pushed into marrying someone he didn’t truly love? He wouldn’t be the first guy to have that happen. Your mother might be perfect in your eyes but that doesn’t make her perfect in your father’s eyes. If it was something he didn’t want, it might have been something he felt he had to endure. My former father-in-law effectively cut his children out of his life after he’d ‘done his job’, though not as drastically as your father. Like I said though, pure speculation. I understan…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 07:14 AM
0

Messy situation, and we can only speculate. Other people have commented that it’s guilt and shame, and I’d tend to agree although I feel there’s probably something else at play. I went through an horrific separation followed by a grueling ordeal of a divorce and I just want to forget it and move on with life. Since settlement I’ve been aggressively renovating and destroying any trace of my ex wife. That jar that she bought in the kitchen? Gone. That rug that she left behind when she walked out o…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/20 03:44 AM
4

I haven’t had to deal with this specifically, but my ex became a demon and I went through a high conflict, 2 and a half year divorce that only settled a month ago. The general advice is to keep your cool, don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a judge, assume every text message you write will be read by a judge, and document everything. Screenshot your text messages and keep them in a google drive or similar, keep a line from the previous message to ensure you’re not taking things out of context…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/20 09:48 AM
2

I love The Misfits. I saw them 20 years ago with the girl who became my GF. Should’ve married her instead. This is how separation and divorce sounded to me: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5qxhxQ-RoiY
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/20 05:26 AM
2

It was as bad as the separation, but in a different way. The separation was sudden and unexpected, the divorce was death by a thousand cuts. I was accused of anything you can think of and several things you can’t. Every act of kindness was portrayed as weakness, every reaction was portrayed as abuse. She accused me of financial, sexual, verbal, social, and every kind of abuse. She accused me of being an irresponsible father for giving my 11 year old a phone, then a paragraph later accused me of …
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/20 12:43 AM
2

Hang tight, it won’t last forever. It’s a temporary situation. The other day my lawyer said it usually takes two years post-settlement for the anger to subside. I got a phone for my 12 year old son and my ex won’t let him turn it on at her house. We have 50% week about and the ugliest divorce I’ve known so I understand how you feel. Hold strong, focus on the kids and the truth will come out in time. Play the long game. It’s the only thing that gets me through the day.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/20 06:14 AM
2

I’ve been lurking around on this sub for a while now and I there’s a lot of pain on here I can relate to, but the experience didn’t fit so well. Op’s post and your comment have rung true in a way nothing else has. The people around me seem bewildered at the level of damage I’m recovering from and I can’t explain it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/20 02:11 AM
2

My psychologist recommended her to me. I didn’t get around to looking any up, but she referred to her as ‘the sexy psychologist’. Seeing her name in reference to narcissism recovery puts it into perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/20 11:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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