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View 0 posts and 361 comments by justsomething on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Well no. A marriage where one person does not contribute a proportionate amount would not be 50/50. So someone who expects the other to pay for all the dates, vacations, etc. but never pays for any themselves would not be 50/50.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 09:19 AM
1

Honestly, I don't have a solution. I have no idea how you compensate for lost time with your children. I just find it interesting that in the case of one parent staying home with the kids, that is the only parent who is considered to have sacrificed, and to the point that the law will step in to compensate them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 01:06 AM
1

I mean, yeah, you can still have a good relationship. But you have to compensate there, just like how a stay at home parent can manage to come out of things with a successful side business if they work at it. But whether you missed out on career opportunities or your children's milestones, you're not getting that time back. If you can acknowledge that both make a sacrifice, and currently only one gets compensated (alimony), then that's really all I'm saying tbh. I don't have a prescription or so…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 01:03 AM
4

I don't think that should be the solution, kids do best with 50/50 when both parents are good. I don't have a solution at all, btw. It just seems to me that two people are making a sacrifice, but only one gets compensated for their sacrifice. Or even recognized as having sacrificed at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 06:12 PM
4

That doesn't make up for any lost time. You don't get any of that back, you don't get to have the strong foundation with your kids the way the other parent does. And now it's 50/50 custody, but financially one is paying the other to make them whole. I'm not saying there is a solution to this btw. I'm just wondering why a person who works to support their family is not seen as sacrificing something very important, whereas the person who stays home with the kids is seen as sacrificing their career…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 06:09 PM
5

No, I don't see it as punitive, I see it as restorative as well. I think each made sacrifices, and each deserve some kind of compensation for what they sacrificed. It's not malicious, it's wondering why only one sacrifice is seen as valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 06:05 PM
6

Yeah, it means proportionate contributions. If one person spends 50% of their income on housing and bills, the other person is also putting in 50% of their income. But those numbers can be different.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 01:43 PM
10

This kind of reminds me of alimony. If someone gives up their career opportunities to take care of the kids at home, they should be compensated for that, sure. But what about the person who gave up all of that time with their kids as they were growing up, to focus on supporting the family financially? How do you compensate one parent being a less active part of their kids lives, becoming the "other" parent? I don't ever hear anyone talk about how that should be compensated. And I think that's a …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 01:40 PM
–

They would rather just pretend like they never made the claims that keep getting proven wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:10 PM
–

Damn, no response to this huh. Makes sense since the last well thought out response they took their time to make ended up being absolute garbage too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 08:09 PM
1

No. Everyone has to answer right away >:(
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:54 PM
1

Damn, no response to that huh.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:05 PM
1

Yeah, agreed!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 03:28 PM
5

Well dang, I thought you just said that this wasn't created by women and is a man issue. But I'm glad we agree that both participate lol. Also I was talking more about the context of the op, so dating stuff like approaching, and not sexual stuff. But it absolutely does still apply in the same way. Much magnified in severity though, so I see less of an excuse for men to push in sexual contexts than I do for "dating" ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 02:01 PM
3

I have to disagree with you there. Just like with every social issue, both genders have played a part in creating this phenomenon. Men aren't accepting "no" Except that women don't usually say "no". They usually say something way more ambiguous, and often something that a woman who is interested in you would also say. Like " I can't today" or "I'm not ready" or "I would but for X reason I can't". And some guys aren't able to read the room well enough to know if that's an excuse because she's not…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 01:41 PM
–

Men secure their orgasms nearly every time they have sex, men are great at sex! But women can't even manage to orgasm? Sounds like women really suck at sex if they can't even do the effort to secure their own orgasm and need men to do it for them. And then they blame men for their own deficiency? Women lack accountability. /S
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 12:52 PM
–

This entire post is all anecdotes all the way down. Not much to discuss so far, everyone is just retorting with their own anecdotes about how they feel it's one gender or another doing the bad stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:04 PM
-1

I mean, is that all just because "she does a better job"? Because the job would be done if you did it, but it would annoy her to not have it done the way she wants. Anyway, I'm not going to speak to your relationship, but I do find a lot of the time "better at it" just means "the way the woman wants it". Which has more to do with pickyness and control than simply doing a better job. I do think that comes from social pressures telling women that they are more responsible for the household, not ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:11 PM
1

But you might end up finding someone who would paraglide more interesting or even attractive. I mean, that's a cool and exciting person, they have traits that could lead you to doing things you could only fantasize about! They don't actually have to paraglide, you don't even have to cognitively recognize that they have the capacity to paraglide. But they would still probably seem cooler to you. Like, it probably says something somewhere is all I'm saying. It's not an excuse to push you into para…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:59 PM
–

Yeeeep. I've been beaten over the head with so much feminist stuff my entire life, that I internalized it and learned. Now when I use feminist theory to identify ways in which men are getting screwed or, heaven forbid, ways women could improve all I get is "no, not like that". Too late suckers, nobody gets to be sexist now!
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:58 PM
3

I imagine it's not any more interesting or dopamine inducing for girls. So do you think that the way boys are socialized is entirely responsible for this? Do you also think that schools are structured in such a way that boys might also have a natural disadvantage? Or that maybe some positive aspects of male socialization is not valorized in school, but that positive aspects of female socialization is valorized? I know I experienced that learned helplessness when I was a boy in school. One thing …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:07 PM
1

I find this topic really interesting, the whole domestic chore gender divide, I mean. Obviously loads of women have stories about men not pulling their weight, of needing her to manage them, of weaponized incompetence and learned helplessness. But then so many men have a similar story of doing chores their way and their partners always having a problem with it. Or of their partners insisting on the importance of something that the men didn't find important at all. I know for myself that I used t…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:26 PM
3

Can you expand on that a bit? How do you see it get ingrained?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:12 PM
3

Theoretically, if women were damaging their relationships with an erotica addiction, how would we even tell? What would that look like? Because it's pretty easy to tell with men, at least in comparison. Maybe for women it could manifest in unrealistic expectations of their partners, which would be a lot harder to pinpoint but still very damaging. The thing with the romance novels is that it can give you unrealistic expectations of men being rich, tall, perfect romancers, always in control, etc. …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:59 AM
1

It's tough. Because on the one hand you're right that there are men who would use that info to justify pressuring women (but tbh, a person like that is probably going to do it whether they have an excuse or not). But on the other hand, by saying that all this romance and fantasy has nothing to do with things that women like (when it very clearly does) just makes it look like women are lying about it. And then the redpill guys will just use that as an excuse anyway. I think it's never a good poli…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:48 AM
6

Now this is something we can finally agree on lol
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 05:54 PM
8

She does it so often and so consistently that I don't think it's in bad faith. Only a true believer could keep this up for so long without getting bored and moving on eventually. But you know, I kind of like it. Lilith is like our PPD reverse mascot: instead of cheering she goes on unhinged rants, and you know not to take it too seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 05:52 PM
2

We are talking about homemaking and childcare, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 10:46 PM
2

Yeah, I like the conversations where people actually try to explore a subject too! It almost never happens, and I like the fighting too, obviously. But sometimes it gets tiring talking to bad faith brick walls all day. I think the nuclear family and loss of third spaces is a huge contributor for sure. Also, grandparents used to have a central role in raising kids, and now it is considered shameful to live with your parents into adulthood. So we have: -Socialization pushing men and women to under…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:45 PM
1

Yeah, it has loads of factors that contribute to it. It's really complex, and I've heard some talk about estrogen causing diffuse awareness compared to testosterone that causes single focus, so maybe there's even a biological component to it. But right now the mainstream script seems to just be that men need to do more. And that's pretty much it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:23 PM
2

Yeah that was me who said paper abortions can be pre-conception. It's a topic I tend to fight about a lot on here, but in that thread you and the OP actually seemed to consider my take, which stood out! Usually people just call me evil for wanting men to abandon their children and all that. And as for the cleanliness thing, that's totally not the direction I thought you would go in, haha! I hadn't heard of that immune system thing before. I've been thinking about the whole domestic labor thing a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 06:50 PM
4

I'm pretty sure I've seen you actually change your mind and actually contend with arguments before. Was it with you that we talked about paper abortions being filed pre-conception? Anyway I'm curious to hear how your mind has changed on these issues, particularly on how men and women deal with cleanliness. I have a few ideas of my own on that front!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 06:19 PM
3

Dang, I would like this lady. Half my arguments on here are about how patriarchy shouldn't be interpreted as just a top down oppressor-oppressed dichotomy where any bad thing that happens to men is actually just misogyny. At least not anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:59 PM
6

It's really hard to strike that balance. I think men have seen a whole bunch of shitty stuff happen under the banner of feminism, and god knows women have seen lots of shitty stuff from the MRA crowd. So there's a knee jerk response to see an enemy when that label comes up.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:56 PM
3

He'll yeah, keep up the good fight! Every time I hear a woman criticize the man vs bear thing my blood pressure drops a point. I think that whole discourse was actually pretty damaging. I will join you in the trenches to fight under the centrist banner. Well... until we have a disagreement on a single issue and then we can become bitter enemies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:53 PM
-1

I really don't know about that. I think it really depends on the specific thing being talked about, and dating is a broad category. I think both men and women intuitively feel like they take more blame, because that's what sticks with you. That's why I would rather look at actual metrics we have studies on. Men being seen as more agentic and more responsible for their actions is a societal fact, as far as we can tell. Obviously that's a trade off for being seen as more capable, and I think that …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:56 AM
2

Fair enough. But if one side is "held to account" less societally, then they regularly escape accountability. Is there a very big difference between escaping accountability and not taking accountability? Like, for example, when men reinforce patriarchal ideas in dating, they get called out for it, at least by progressives. When women reinforce patriarchal ideas I often see "that's just a preference" or that women were socialized that way so it's not really their fault. Anyway, I don't have a sup…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:50 AM
-2

On an individual basis? I agree. on a societal basis I think men are seen as having more agency and women as having less. While that means it's usually nicer to be a man, it also means that men tend to take more blame than their fair share and women tend to take less. Like with the sentencing disparity for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:12 AM
1

Ok well dang I feel like I do see that one in real life. That's a pretty mainstream one, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:26 AM
0

I didn't ignore it, I pointed out another horrible thing men did which was comparing women to bears. But then you corrected me, apparently it was women who said that stuff. And apparently the question had nothing to do with comparing men and bears, it was just "would you prefer a slow death or a fast death". Which I just completely misremembered I could have sworn the question was asking about whether you would prefer encountering a man or a bear in the woods. Which would have been a comparison,…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:58 PM
1

Oh, the question they asked women was "would you rather die quickly or slowly?". That's crazy I could have sworn the question was different.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 05:31 PM
1

Yeah, so we better get to work, lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 05:29 PM
1

Oh wait it was WOMEN comparing men to wild animals?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:49 PM
1

Good answer!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:36 PM
3

And thank the gods for that. Can you imagine if everyone was like us? Wouldn't get anything done.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:34 PM
1

He is now my fiancé. Congratulations! But how big are his hands 🧐
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:33 PM
1

And?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:28 PM
1

While I agree with your first point, I think you can do both. Feminists managed to change the whole world after all! The problem is when someone says everything is hopeless until the world changes, or on the other hand when someone says that you bear all the personal responsibility for your entire situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:27 PM
4

Yeah, this is a gender wars debate sub where only the most deranged weirdos go to enter fights that would leave them friendless if done irl. Of course nobody agrees with eachother and say things nobody would say in real life 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:22 PM
1

That's not detracting from what I said either.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:59 PM
1

It also says MRA
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:51 PM
0

Yeah I remember when men compared women to bears, and said they would prefer encountering the bear. Men really believed that women were so awful that they were worse than wild animals, and likely to give them a more gruesome fate. Can't believe men would say such things, but here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:51 PM
1

He'll nah, I take men's side all the time. In fact, I usually am fighting on the side of men, because the mainstream is already heavily tilted in support of women. But that doesn't mean I'm going to endorse everything men and redpillers say because they go way too far in the other direction very often.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:43 PM
2

I'm already in a committed relationship and never really struggled with dating. I think I come here mostly because I like arguing, but also to push back against some narratives I find harmful. The hope is that I can get some people to find a middle ground instead of diving 100% in to one toxic cesspool or the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:16 PM
4

And they have children with the first man who pays for a date?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:09 PM
5

I wouldn't have settled for anything less. Nothing wrong with your husband being a little less ambitious though, some people prefer to play it safe and take what they can get!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 04:12 PM
6

Oh well if it is such a basic kind gesture, then why wouldn't my dream girl also want to do that with me? Otherwise how can I know that she is interested? It's just a super basic not over-the-top gesture, right? So if everyone should do it to show kindness and interest, it's not impressive, nor is it gendered. I am also in my 30s and married. I already have my dream girl. She's not a shallow materialist, not is she a sexist. It took a lot more than free dinner to impress her, it took substance. …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:30 PM
7

Nope because that wouldn't be the way to impress my dream girl. Good chemistry, good conversation, common interests, talents... That's what a woman of quality will be impressed by.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:02 PM
9

Are you okay with all the norms in our culture where women are disadvantaged?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:00 PM
15

Nope, my dream girl would pay for her half and be an egalitarian who wants to undo gender norms. Why would an entitled sexist be my dream girl??
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:50 PM
4

So since women typically pay on dates much less often than men, I guess that means women are the most disagreeable of all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:47 PM
1

Was that a question for me or the other person?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:29 AM
2

I don't know how much is biological and how much is socialization, but more often men seem to have a greater propensity for singular obsessive focus. Like just really throwing away their own health and relationships to achieve... Something. Sometimes it's something really innovative that helps society. But who knows if any of that is true I'm just spitballing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:18 PM
7

How does this hypothetical prove what you're trying to prove? That hypothetical yesterday was ass for making their point and this hypothetical is ass for making yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:02 PM
2

It's not satisfying to me at all. I want gender equality, and I do want men and women alike to be able to challenge the patriarchy and change. I just don't need to use bigotry to do it, and I don't believe it helps move towards that goal. Quite the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:51 PM
2

Oh I accept that many self proclaimed feminists and progressives had absolutely no problem using bigoted and dehumanizing rhetoric. As a feminist, I refuse to endorse or defend that kind of rhetoric. I don't think bigotry is a valid tactic, regardless of the target.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:30 PM
-1

I don't agree. I don't think women feel disgust towards themselves when they accomplish things, I think they feel disgust towards men when men fail to accomplish things. Or at least, that's what the socialization pushes towards.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:46 PM
2

Yeah nah the man vs bear thing was indefensible. That's one thing that people just have to stop running defense for.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:35 PM
10

How does that respond to my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 01:31 PM
51

Even in your hypothetical you described men respecting women's bodily autonomy. If they think that the women should not be forced, then they are respecting their bodily autonomy. Being upset that the women aren't pairing up is not infringing on the women's rights. Just like being upset at what someone is saying isn't infringing on their free speech. Trying to use social pressure to get someone to behave differently isn't infringing on a right, it is one of the most basic functions of society, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 12:33 PM
–

Yeah I think the loss of third spaces is a REALLY big factor. I think men are socialized (and perhaps biologically) less equipped to build communities in an atomized society where everyone can stay home. I also think that some of the skills and value that men were more able to bring to communities is now either unnecessary or contracted out. There is also the fact that people grow on you. Women typically need to warm up to someone a bit to build romantic interest, and third spaces forced that co…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:29 AM
6

The identity of the person in power doesn't matter much, what matters is whether they perpetuate a system. A man can refuse to promote women and a woman in the same position can refuse to promote women because they both hold patriarchal views. It would be systemic misogyny manifesting either way. Not disagreeing with you necessarily, just saying that whether it's a man ass or a woman ass sitting on the throne it doesn't change the system, nor does it define it.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 08:28 PM
1

I'm about a month older than my girlfriend. I abuse that power dynamic by telling her "you'll understand when you're my age" during disagreements.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 05:45 PM
–

Oh yeah, I think the researchers did have a clear idea of what they meant. I do not think that the respondents necessarily knew what the researchers meant, since so many of these tactics are very open to interpretation. Presumably even more so in the questionnaire (which we cannot have a look at afaik). And when I say seduction I meant it very broadly. Like on a date you're trying to seduce each other ideally. I'm sure there's a better word.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 10:07 PM
–

Everyone has biases but not everyone works on confronting them, so good on you for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:18 PM
–

EVERY woman starts as a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you lol. That's the whole point of seducing someone, so even that wording seems like it could apply to pretty much every situation. None of my girlfriends wanted to have sex with me as a stranger right off the bat, that's for sure. So even that clearly stipulated thing isn't clear and can literally be interpreted as applying to almost all dating. And yeah studies that rely on questionnaires have loads of problems in the first place,…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 03:03 PM
–

Yeah the study is garbage. I haven't found how the original questionnaire was worded, but I would like to see that. Because even as it stands now I could apply like 10 of these "tactics" to how I met my ex, which was 100% consensual and above board. So if they were worded even more vaguely I could see how respondents could answer with totally normal dating scenarios and the researchers (who I definitely think are trying to push a narrative) could interpret those answers to fit their model.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:30 AM
–

I've read it, they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:24 AM
–

Because so many other parts of the study do not belong I have to wonder how the questionnaire was worded. Because “Gradually pushed verbally or physically until you got what you wanted,” can just be "I talked to her all night". I can see how so many of these could be interpreted to fit non nefarious scenarios. Hell, my friends introduced me to my ex (friends helped) I kept talking to her all night (gradually pushed verbally) made physical contact (and physically), I certainly didn't think she wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 11:20 AM
2

These unstated expectations due to upbringing are responsible for so much friction. So often you hear "I shouldn't have to tell you" or "it's common sense" in reference to some normative belief you have NEVER heard of before. And then they won't even tell you what those beliefs are because "he should just know". I know women aren't the only ones who do this, but for sex and housekeeping I think it's a lot more frequent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:47 PM
1

It's what I've been complaining about
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 02:16 PM
8

Thaaank you! Like damn if I listened to Reddit I really would think that all women hate sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 01:58 PM
1

Condoms can and do fail regularly. Men get raped. Conversations mean nothing when it comes to ones rights, the woman can change her mind. And besides that, consent to sex should not mean consent to parenthood. Currently that only applies to women. Women should not be the only ones who can engage in sex without tacit agreement to parenthood. This is a fundamental reproductive right that is lacking for men and condoms do not solve it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 09:11 AM
3

So to your first point, I think that is a false equivalence. not every gendered difference is the result of systemic bias, of course, but it doesn't mean that you can dismiss the ones that are bias because there are some that aren't. For example, if men have lower life expectancy mainly due to testosterone, that is a gender divide that would not be due to systemic misandry. You've pointed out some stats that point to biological and interpersonal divides in hetero relationships, not systemic bias…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 10:05 AM
–

And I believe anyone should have a choice over their reproduction. Look at us, wanting people to have rights!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 03:03 PM
–

don't have a child Yeah that's a great idea. Currently only women have that choice so let's work on getting that for men too :) Maybe you're pro-life since you're using the same talking points. But I'm pro-choice so I believe that consent to sex is not consent to parenthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:57 PM
0

Financial abortion filed before conception is not abandoning an already existing child. It's absolving you of responsibility for an eventual child. Just like how a regular abortion absolves you of being responsible for a child. I didn't say birth certificates are public, I said who your parents are (which is registered on a birth certificate) is public. I don't know why you keep bringing up that we would need the public registry for men who want financial abortions with me. Yes, I agree, it's li…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:53 PM
–

That's right! And women shouldn't have the right to unilaterally decide whether men become parents. Good thing paper abortions wouldn't interfere with women's reproductive right or bodily autonomy whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:47 PM
2

Women already have regular abortion in this hypothetical, they already have their protected rights. Why in the world would they go on the registry? That makes no sense. The parents of a child as registered on a birth certificate is not a confidential document. You can literally look up who someone's parents are, it's not confidential. And if people don't want to have sex with people on the registry then that's their choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:59 PM
2

Or much like anyone registers for any number of things. Just like putting your name on a birth certificate is registering you as a parent. People can already look you up for all sorts of things, just like any public servant for example. If women don't have access to abortions then paper abortions shouldn't be an option either, obviously. So women should have no need to register. I guess they can if they want for fun, but I think registering should also come with a decent fee, so I don't see why …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:47 PM
3

Why is it delusional? And it won't be everyone, just the men who want the paper abortion. You file the paper abortion on your own, then whoever is dating you can look it up to see if you're registered. It's not like you would have to write up a two person contract every time you want to have sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:23 PM
2

I don't know what the cost should be, it's difficult to quantify obviously. But that's for legislators to figure out. Bare minimum it covers whatever medical costs are associated with the abortion or pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:02 PM
8

Yeah I don't know if I'm down with it being the default. I think opting out should be costly, because pregnancy and abortion are costly. Women can't opt out of those no matter what. Ideally nobody would be able to get pregnant at all without a two party opt in, but I don't think there's an ethical way of doing that right now lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:27 PM
5

Hmm, good question. My knee jerk response is I don't think he would have a case, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:17 PM
7

Yeah I would 100% be down for better male contraception. I usually also bring that up with the paper abortion stuff, because ideally if men and women both had 100% effective contraceptives you would have no need for paper abortions at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:59 AM
3

I think it would last until you annul it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:56 AM
15

Oh yeah, we can't even begin to talk about paper abortions if regular abortions are not legal and fully accessible. I also think men can pay the full cost (and then some) of the abortion, as well as have to pay a registration fee for the paper abortion. The fee can go towards subsidizing abortion clinics and female contraception. This still doesn't fully compensate for the discomfort of pregnancy or abortion, but at least it closes the gap a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:45 AM
–

No I pretty much just want both men and women to have reproductive rights, thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:29 AM
26

I think it would be more than fair to require a paper abortion to be filed before conception. Not only that but have it registered. That way a woman can decide if she wants to have sex with a man who has filed a paper abortion. And if you get a woman pregnant and never filed your paper abortion well I think it is fair that it is too late at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:26 AM
12

I've argued over paper abortion a few times on here. I agree that it is definitely tricky to do totally fairly, if not impossible. But one thing is certain, it would be a lot more fair than how it is currently. I agree a lot of men would like to just be able to dip out of all responsibility. I'm not in favor of that. I don't think the system would automatically mean that men can take no responsibility. To make things a little more fair I think it would be perfectly reasonable to: Not only have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:16 AM
2

Then systemic misandry is perpetrated by both men and women, not just men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:55 AM
8

Actually misandry generally results in higher rates of suicide, homelessness, addiction, harsher sentencing, and dropping out of higher education.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:31 AM
5

Generally I agree with your points, but surely if you argue that a woman being uncomfortable around men for her safety is misandry, then a father warning their daughter about men is also misandry. Both feel that they are just acknowledging the reality of the world, and both are discriminating against men in pretty much the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:28 AM
14

Oh, a lot of people deny that misandry exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:21 AM
2

I think mandatory paternity leave that is the same length as maternity leave would be a pretty easy fix for that imbalance. Also would help to even things out more in the home, giving men more time to gain experience with child care.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:19 AM
3

And both men and women uphold the patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:17 AM
6

I don't think comparing misandry to "reverse racism" or heterophobia is an apt comparison. I don't think you ever suffer systemically from being white or straight, or almost never. Whereas there is a whole slew of ways you are disadvantaged purely for being a man under the patriarchy. Also both men and women uphold these gender roles. It's not like lawmakers suddenly decided to give men harsher punishments from the top down, they are influenced by the social fabric. The dislike for men is a part…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:07 AM
7

The average is the US is 7-11 lifetime sexual partners and around 9 globally. 20 is a lot, it's unusual that you don't know many women who have been with less than 20 men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:23 PM
3

Globally, the average number of lifetime sexual partners is around 9, but this number fluctuates drastically by region, culture, and demographics. In the United States, the lifetime average generally falls between 7 and 11 partners, with the median hovering slightly lower around 4 to 6. So it's always a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 12:21 PM
2

My wallpaper is my cat <3
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:58 AM
5

so this is a tic-for-tac situation Black Noir: "Is that what you think the phrase is?"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 03:14 PM
6

Is this comment a psyop to try to make men look worse in a thread about misandry?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:40 AM
1

Oh well if just a phone convo and a few texts is enough then I don't think we're talking about different things. I just don't think you need to spend a bunch of time being friends or observing and evaluating someone over weeks or months to discover a bunch of compatibility before asking for a date. Which is something a lot of people here advocate for. But yeah what you're saying is also what I think, quick convo should do it. Also the coffee date was just an example of something quick, that a da…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 06:01 PM
1

I mean you said right here "spend some time talking to you". A date is just the most efficient and direct way of doing that without any ambiguity about interest. That's not reducing compatibility to an interview, it's determining compatibility directly. And that should be mutually beneficial, because meeting you shouldn't be a "errand" that can be mitigated with spending more money. That's the entire point. I think a date is where compatibility should be gauged and women DO go on dates with me. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:46 PM
3

Nursing as a job, like in terms of pay and benefits
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:37 PM
1

Do you think that nurses are fairly compensated?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 04:27 PM
-3

So that's the problem, just the time investment? That's the problem with how men are going about dating? Just grab a coffee, if you're not compatible it's no big loss of time. Seems like it would actually save time, quickly get to the point of whether you could work together or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 09:04 PM
7

I always thought that was what a date was for. Like yeah I don't think about compatibility before a date because I don't know them. That's why I want to go on a date, to get to know them and figure out if we're compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 08:10 PM
1

No to what? I thought I was agreeing with him lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 12:53 AM
6

I think men's rights movements do badly compared to feminism because of the patriarchy. It's hard to advocate for your rights when all our gender norms dictate you can never be a victim. When you view it through that lens a lot of the weird double standards of our fellow progressives start to make more sense, because they internalized that if you aren't being the big strong stoic man then you are pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 09:41 PM
1

The same TYPE of harm. Punching someone and stabbing someone have a different SEVERITY but they are both VIOLENCE. And they can be compared without being equated. And you didn't answer the tattoo question.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 08:44 AM
0

So do you think our western society would be cool with tattooing female genitals while they are babies for aesthetic reasons? No lasting damage. Would you still call that FGM or would you say it is incomparable to real FGM? Also you can compare two things on a single axis without comparing every aspect. We can compare if two things are the same type of action/harm without needing both to be of the same severity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 03:20 PM
1

Damn, okay. Thanks for the explanation!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/26 12:32 PM
1

No, men very much are punished for being men. Many of these men who are suffering are suffering because they are acting like the men patriarchy prescribes. That "man" hides his emotions, strives for success, does not seek help, etc. Those men end up killing themselves, getting addicted, and having breakdowns too. Rigid societal expectations hurt you when you follow them AND when you don't. It works in every way the same way it works for women. Women who fulfill their traditional gender roles are…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 04:32 PM
1

It makes it systemic oppression/discrimination, which is what you said men do not face. Yes it is men being punished for not conforming to societal expectations, which is also what happens to women. It is systemic misogyny when it happens to women, and it is systemic misandry when it happens to men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 02:19 PM
0

How do you prove you obtained a clear yes if they claim that you didn't? Doesn't that turn this into a he said she said but where guilt is assumed? Anyway I guess I should just look at the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 02:13 PM
2

Yes, intersectionality applies to men too. But if being a man weren't a factor we would see just as many disabled, non-white, and LGBTQ+ homeless women as we do homeless men, but we don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 01:40 PM
2

I disagree. If you believe the patriarchy hurts men then you believe that men are also systemically oppressed. Men make up most of the homeless, most of the suicides, most of the adicts, dropping out of higher education, etc, etc. you can't draw the same clean oppressor-oppressed dynamic with gender as you can with race, because the patriarchy oppresses both genders. That being said, women can still have it worse, but to claim misandry doesn't matter or isn't real because men don't face systemic…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/26 01:30 PM
1

Damn, I'm the opposite. I recoil at gendered shit, so whenever a woman I've been dating has expressed how there's certain things I'm expected to do as a man I've rebuffed them pretty solidly. Yes, even the ones I'm really interested in. But then again I'm attractive enough to get away with it, most guys can't stand up for themselves like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:24 PM
-2

That is collapsing bodily autonomy and reproductive rights into one thing. They are two separate rights that coexist in procreation. Men and women have different bodily autonomy rights when it comes to pregnancy because the woman carries the fetus. Yes. that it true. the man's bodily autonomy right ends when he cums, because that's where his body ends. His reproductive rights, however, should not end there. Women fought for reproductive rights as well when they fought for abortion. There is no b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 01:04 AM
2

Absolutely, I think paper abortions needing to be signed before sex is the way to go for the moment. Men having better birth control would go a hell of a long way too.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:41 PM
-1

It has always also been about reproductive rights. Always. "Consent to sex is not consent to parenthood" is a pro choice saying because abortion is a reproductive right as well as a right to bodily autonomy. But whenever the conversation is about men people always conveniently forget that this has always also been a reproductive rights issue as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 10:34 PM
0

No action ever is sexist unless it starts to be done disproportionately to one sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 07:16 PM
2

I think multiple things can be true: Everything you just wrote That women's psychology is also influenced by capitalism and the patriarchy, and is not their natural psychology. However, it is being held up as a better, healthier example for everyone, but natural male psychology differs from that example. So instead of figuring out the natural, ideal male psychology and getting men to be like that, we are trying to force them into the socialized female model. I also think female psychology (natur…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:23 AM
6

Yep, that's that darn patriarchy at work once again. I think my frustration with things surrounding this subject is that people always say "in theory" that the patriarchy hurts men too, and that everyone perpetuates the patriarchy. But then whenever you bring up a problem men experience due to the patriarchy and that is at least 50% enforced by women, all of a sudden all that theory goes out the window. And this is in progressive spaces that ought to know better. But I think there is a big resis…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 11:08 AM
0

Good, now keep counting. It's called combating confirmation bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/26 03:30 AM
0

You don't see any others in this whole thread saying lots of men don't think that way or agree with it? You can include me at least. If you don't see any others then that person isn't the only one putting their head in the sand.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 09:32 PM
0

And now you're seeing loads of people telling you they don't think like that. So factor those voices into your total calculation of "what men say".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 01:04 PM
0

I think it would be better if everyone could be direct, then we wouldn't have to play stupid games that get people confused and sometimes hurt. But women get judged for promiscuity so it's understandable to be more indirect, and men get judged for passivity so it's understandable that they would be the ones to push things forward. And both want to blame the other 100%, without ever thinking they ought to fix anything about their own approach lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 03:04 AM
-2

I mean if some people are so clueless that they can't understand the clear implication of inviting someone over for Netflix and chill then they shouldn't be casually dating. Don't go over to a person's house when you are dating unless you are open to intimacy, most people understand that. Otherwise what do you do, go over to someone's place and if they make moves on you you'll be too scared to say no and just go along with it?? So then you are someone who cannot establish boundaries, understand …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 12:30 AM
-1

And who are the ones doing the interviews and candidate rejections? HR. and who makes up HR? Women. Boom, got ya. No but seriously I agree, lots of people use indirect language in all sorts of scenarios, that's why I wasn't saying I agree with OOP. But in the case of Netflix and chill? That's absolutely because you can't directly ask a woman over for sex, not because men prefer using indirect language. So that's a poor example.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 12:14 AM
-2

Do you think guys are using euphemisms in those situations because the guys themselves want to use euphemisms? I think they would rather be direct, but a woman can be dtf but if you explicitly ask if she would like to come over and do just that, she will get turned off on the idea. I'm not necessarily agreeing one way or the other about the OPs post, but this point in particular seems a lot more like women's preference for indirect language forcing men into using it, rather than men having their…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 07:13 PM
–

Hear me out, I know what sub we are on, but I actually want to share some knowledge I learned at uni and not necessarily fight about something lol. Also very understandable if you don't want to read a bunch of stuff about philosophy and sociology right now. Have you heard of integral theory? In case you haven't, put very simply, part of it is the idea that we have four quadrants of "truth". The interior individual (your opinions/feelings), the exterior individual (your brain, your body, objects,…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 11:37 AM
1

But that isn't what the guy said. The guy said I could just get endless supply of guys who'd pay for my dates but refuse to have any sex with him apparently forever. Which guy said that?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:10 PM
1

Yeah and Saturn (Chronos) ended up being overthrown and imprisoned in Tartarus, so really the outcomes weren't good for him either!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 09:56 AM
1

Op is totally wrong in saying that men do not have the same luxury as Saturn. I bet I could eat a woman, just not like... In one sitting. But I could do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 02:24 AM
1

Yes, that's my point. So you agree women have the power, do you revoke your previous statements about dating not being partly about power? Otherwise it seems like we aren't actually pinning anything down here. But yes, women hold the power, so any man who wants to individually stand up for himself is going to pay a higher cost. To change that dynamic men would have to act as a single collective (not going to happen), and somehow change their higher biological drive, as well as change current dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 01:12 AM
0

It's voluntary, and within that voluntary system women hold most of the power. They are the pursued ones. You are right that men as a whole could change that dynamic by being less desperate and having more self respect. Which would require 4 billion men to suddenly have a shift in mentality all at once (not happening), so no, I don't think men have the power to change that dynamic anytime they want. A mix of socialization and biological factors put men in the pursuing (and therefore interviewee)…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 12:47 AM
1

Yeah I think in my view everything you just said is either tied up with or synonymous with power, but I think that's just getting into semantics. Power is something that’s projected onto the others and that’s dumb. Men should just be responsible for themselves and what their actions cost and that is all. Yeah, that cost is exactly what I'm talking about. If a man stands up for himself, a woman might get the ick and they lose that dating opportunity. That's the cost, a cost women don't have to pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 12:40 AM
1

More options give you more power. When I'm using power in this context I don't mean like, the power to force or coerce people into doing what you want. Dating is a bit of a negotiation, you have to sell yourself. If an employer has loads of applications, you are not the one in a place of power when you go to interview and it is therefore harder for you to make demands. It is a similar situation between men and women. Harder for the guy to stand up for himself if he feels he is the interviewee.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 12:35 AM
1

Because "power" is a part of it. It's easier to stand up for yourself when you feel like you have leverage. If you are the more desired person with more options, you don't feel like you are risking much by standing your ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:13 PM
0

No, all I'm doing is saying that you did not offer a good critique. I'm not the same person you were talking to before.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 05:10 PM
16

Yeah, men really have to start actually standing up to the shit we don't like just like women did and do. It's tough to do when you feel you aren't holding the power in dating, but we still have to do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 04:23 PM
0

A critique that refuses to specify an alternative rings hollow.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 04:19 PM
15

Maybe it's: Good relationship > Being single > Bad relationship > Involuntarily single forever
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 11:18 AM
1

Do you think you deserve what you want?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 09:06 PM
1

You reinforced my point that every time this subject comes up people try to only make it about bodily autonomy and conveniently forget the reproductive rights aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 10:24 AM
–

Oh you were just pretending to be stupid, I understand. So you obviously do believe in misandry, my apologies.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 02:16 AM
–

Yeah it's almost like if a woman said something like Bc I actually feel like misandry isn’t real so i suppose dismissing it is fine too -Key_Marionberry5116
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 02:10 AM
1

Glad we agree, thanks for reinforcing my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 10:47 PM
3

Abortion has always been about reproductive rights and bodily autonomy. But as soon as you bring this topic up suddenly the only thing that matters is bodily autonomy and reproductive rights are completely dropped. Probably because it's easier to defend that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 02:41 AM
3

What an incredibly refreshing comment, love to see it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 05:58 PM
–

The right to consensual care sure can. Because you don't have the right to care that someone did not consent to giving you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:48 PM
–

The male part of reproduction involves where you put your sperm and the viability thereof. The female part of reproduction involves hosting the egg and the embryo and delivering the baby. You get control over your part and she gets control over her part. That's already equality. No, it's not equality, because you left out the big part: the female part of reproduction also includes the ability to end the reproductive process completely for both people, which is the crux of the issue. I just want …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:45 PM
–

They should posses the right to consensual parental care.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:25 PM
2

Yeah, that's an issue. Feminism has an image problem, and a lot of guys think that feminists who aren't behaving according to feminist values are representative of the ideology. They don't represent the ideology, but they certainly do represent the movement. To help with that feminists need to call out our own within the movement, but I don't see a whole lot of other feminists doing that. Well, actually, many do call out their own when it comes to not being feminist enough for women, but you'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:11 PM
–

No, more like the "listen, I really don't want to have a kid, so you should know that before we have sex" approach. There could be a registry showing everyone who has filed for financial abortion, so that women can be fully informed when they consent to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 03:01 PM
–

Financial abortions don't happen after birth. Some people, myself included, think financial abortions should come before even having sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:28 PM
–

Every single fucking day on this sub we have men arguing for the ability to completely abandon their children, and yet there seems to be this odd focus and emphasis on women not "taking accountability." You mean the guys who argue for men to gain some reproductive rights, right? Because if you are talking about the paper abortion topic, last time I saw your comments they certainly looked like you wanted to keep going with a system where men get held accountable and women get to make all reproduc…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 02:19 PM
3

Nah, disagree. Of course some people can just be pretending, but sometimes the pain of being around someone you are in love with is just too difficult. It would be great if you could just turn that part of your brain off once you get rejected, but it doesn't work that way. Sometimes you can work through it, sometimes you can't and have to just look out for your own emotional well-being. That doesn't mean they were just pretending to be your friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 07:44 PM
9

Yeah, men will absolutely do that too. But the difference is loads of men will also just completely validate women's struggles without caveats. I don't see the same going in the other direction much at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 03:33 AM
6

No, what is happening here is that you asserted a pattern of women giving recognition to one of men's struggles, and men refusing to accept it. So the opening already implies that men are the problem, the concession givers are women, the ungrateful recipients are men. When in reality, women don't give that empathy. They might say they "admit it" while also immediately negating it, reframing it, or making it about women again (you didn't disagree with this). Which isn't admitting anything. Theref…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 11:13 PM
4

No, it would just have to actually be admitting something. You said women admit all the time that men have a harder time getting dates. But it's looking like your version of that is: Yeah men have a harder time getting dates, but actually being able to get a lot of dates is really a bad thing, so that's still worse for women. Oh and also every other part of dating is worse for women too. And then you wonder why it doesn't "make men feel better". It's because it's not an admission or an acknowled…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:46 PM
13

Correct, they say that women always have everything harder. Except for maybe getting dates, but then they'll go on to explain how getting dates is actually a bad thing, and therefore women have that harder too. I don't consider that admitting anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:13 PM
3

Yeah. I got the feeling that other guy got empathy only because he shared personal stories. Now, if that's true, then saying that it's "an extremely ineffective way to get people to care" to talk about social issues is... kind of emblematic of the problem. Women get empathy for their social issues, "oppression olympics", "gender wars" stuff but then when men try the same it is considered unproductive and we should just share personal stories cause that's the only way to get empathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:11 PM
3

It sounds like you framed things as your own experiences. If that is the case then I'm sure it is much easier to garner empathy. Have you framed things in systemic terms? Problems that effect men as a class?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:07 PM
10

So if that's usually the context, then women don't admit men have it harder finding dates "all the time". The context you gave is just the justification you see for why women never do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:56 PM
15

I appreciate the rare moments it happens, I don't appreciate the "women acknowledge this all the time!" gaslighting. No the hell they don't lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:25 PM
22

Plenty of women admit all the time that finding dates is much harder for men. They do?? Do they do it without adding that it is overall worse for women because they get murdered in droves while dating and have to constantly be afraid? Or that they'll get SAd or raped at the drop of a hat? Or the desert vs swamp analogy (which implies that any water in the desert won't be swamp water)? Or that it is harder for men but it's their own fault for xyz reason? Or that the constant flood of attention ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:21 PM
1

Well, the patriarchy can kind of be nebulous, unfortunately. It infiltrates the way everyone is nurtured and gives people all sorts of unconscious biases. It can be defined as simply "a system where men hold power and women are largely excluded from it", or it can be defined as "the entire collection of gender expectations that we currently find ourselves in, which ends up being less favorable towards women". Many prominent feminist scholars have used either definition and plenty of other defini…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 06:21 PM
2

Yeah, it's okay for men to lose privilege as a consequence of women gaining equality. What isn't okay is trying to reach equality by removing a privilege from men that you do want women to have. You would want women to be protected from false accusations in an equal society, so trying to gain equality by taking away that protection from men doesn't make much sense. Although, feminism as a collection doesn't really have much power to oppress men, anyway. The majority of ways men are oppressed, it…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 05:43 PM
2

I've seen people try to justify it by saying it would bring more equity to women since the patriarchy and rape culture are already putting women so far behind in the legal system. But, obviously feminism aims to achieve equality by removing the oppression of women and not by increasing the oppression of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 04:59 PM
2

I completely agree with everything you laid out. But I have also seen feminists (or people who call themselves feminists, rather) say that we should automatically believe rape victims because some innocent men going to jail is a price they are willing to pay to protect rape victims and make sure rapists are punished. So yes, you are totally right that this gets overblown by some men because it is an opportunity to hate, 100%. But the unhinged stuff from the other side also totally exists. That b…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 04:47 PM
14

From my perspective, I would think that they are trash because they are a sexist. Their thought process seems to end with "because you are a man" and I don't think particularly enlightened people think that way. I also doubt she would appreciate the opposite treatment, but that's just a guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 04:32 PM
0

Yeah, but that could be video from the ring camera opening the door and going in, or it could be video of her staying outside and filming from there. There's video, but who knows if it's got her opening the door or not. Not trying to defend her or anything, just doesn't seem like we have any definitive proof yet that she opened the door.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 01:38 AM
2

The big problem there is that pretty much everyone thinks they are the media literate one and that other people are the easily propagandized ones. When in reality we are all probably at least a little susceptible to it (and some a lot). That's why quality of discourse is probably important. Because chances are there are men who come on here and think they are gaining insights about women based on these hyperbolic posts. And chances are some of the insights you have gained about men are also base…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:31 PM
2

Okay, that's good! Do you think that this sort of hyperbolic/ironic/venting posting is good for discourse, or for gender relations as a whole? I feel like both sides will do this type of thing, where they post something crazy with a grain of truth. Then people confront them and argue with them, but instead of saying the post is an exaggeration, they defend the grain of truth, while making it look like they support the whole post. So now both sides think the other side is insane and hates them. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:01 PM
1

Yeah all I've found is quotes from stuff like NYPost saying this: However, Ring camera footage appears to show Henderson let herself into the man’s house, and police have said there is no indication she was encouraged to go in, let alone film. Her own video “indicates that the male was incapacitated and unconscious on his couch due to alcohol consumption,” police said in a statement. A lot of "police have said" but no ring camera footage or actual statements from the police. The police did make …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 06:02 PM
2

That post is unhinged. Do you really agree with that? Not the "I'm going to agree with this unhinged post because it will get the unhinged men in this sub triggered" type of agree, but like, for real?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 05:40 PM
4

It's a good thing that we're leaving behind more and more gender norms like that. I don't like that buying women flowers is seen as a default "courtesy" that represent bare minimum effort or something. Courtesy should be the basic respect shown to a stranger. And if effort means "buying her stuff" then it's not the type of effort I'm interested in doing until we are in some kind of relationship. And if women want to get wooed then they gotta do some wooing too. Maybe some men are feeling bitter …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 05:30 PM
1

Oh boy, we could argue about separatism in our arguing about gender sub!!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 03:28 AM
1

I believe that paper abortions should be a thing. But I also think it would have to be implemented very carefully. I think things like: -Having to file the paper abortion before pregnancy for it to be valid. This way women could be informed of the mans intentions before consenting to sex. -Men having to pay for all medical expenses that arise from pregnancy, abortion or birth. Extra compensation on top of that for the distress that those things entail. -The ability to file a comprehensive restra…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 03:23 AM
4

I have called it out in person and I have called it out online. If I see it I call it out. And there are plenty of misandrist men to call out too, make no mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 05:40 PM
3

Clearly they are doing something, since there are men here right now telling you that they don't like the normalization. Are women so attached to body shaming men that we have to start doing protests for them to stop? I think women are probably better than that tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 05:38 PM
2

Well that's why I said relatively painless. Relative to an abortion, pregnancy, or childbirth that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:10 PM
1

If you never see that you either have a very special algorithm or you are primed not to notice when it happens. I imagine you didn't see when Greta Thunberg said Andrew Tate had small dick energy? Or when AOC said that politician she hated had 5'4" energy? Maybe because men's body shaming is so casual and thrown out so easily, it doesn't register as much for you. Or how about when my girlfriend and her friends see a big truck and say "must be compensating for something 😏" and laughing about it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:09 PM
9

It still happens, but progressives denounce it. Look what progressives say when men want to talk about it: B-b-but women had it worse! And I shouldn't have to fight for men! And it still happens to women! And not all women! Which is all the same stuff defensive men say when a woman brings up women's problems. I dunno, it's just that if you live your life with a progressive set of values for your in group it's so bizarre that it just... Disappears completely when it's about your out group.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:04 PM
16

Do you only follow the golden rule when you don't get huge backlash? I think men are starting to fight against it, and that's good, so that backlash could start happening. But isn't it weird that women had this collective fight for centuries, only to forget the values and ethics they were fighting for as soon as it effects men? Presumably they were against body shaming for ethical reasons, not solely because it was happening against women.I don't need women to fight against men's body shaming, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 03:00 PM
11

You've got some men right here not accepting it. Also doesn't explain why women would accept something for men they don't find morally acceptable for themselves. That has nothing to do with the reaction from men. Do you follow the golden rule when there's backlash?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 02:56 PM
23

Yep, some people are assholes. I think the more interesting question in the post is why is bodyshaming men so accepted. You would think that the people who campaigned against bodyshaming women wouldn't turn that part of their brain off as soon as it comes to men, but it seems like it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 10:41 AM
3

So if I understand you correctly, you're referring to something like a woman posting "Men, you should smile more!". Not because they actually think men should smile more, but because women hear it it all the time and want to shed light on it? Because if that's what you're talking about, then I agree that it is something that I see frequently and to get upset about that would be silly. But I also think it is extremely generous towards women to think that any body shaming women do is just them fli…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 10:36 AM
1

Oh yeah, I'm sure plenty of irresponsible men still wouldn't file for one. That's too bad for them, they can pay child support. But that wouldn't change the numbers, those same men would be paying the same child support in the paper abortion world as they are in our present one. So, while I think this is valid in principle, practically speaking, I can't imagine a significant impact on real-world outcomes. What outcomes are you thinking of here? Because the real world outcome I was thinking of wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 10:19 AM
2

Yes, I acknowledge that. It isn't fair that women have to carry the pregnancy, nor is it fair if they have to get an abortion. Abortions are no walk in the park either. I wouldn't be against men having to provide some form of financial support. Like if paper abortions cost a certain amount which is paid out to the woman, because they deserve some compensation for the discomfort they have to go through. And that's above the actual medical costs, which if a man wants a financial abortion, I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:48 AM
2

Yeah I've come to your mandatory abortions conclusion before too haha I do think it could be a possibility to make paper abortions only valid if they happen before pregnancy, so that women can be fully informed when they consent to sex. that's another thing that could reduce how many accidents happen. But yeah, more kids will need to be supported by the state in one way or another. I think it's just kind of insulting that we looked around as a society and figured that the reproductive rights of …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:28 AM
3

The point is just to make it so the man has any choice at all. As it stands now the woman gets to make the choice on if a man has a child, if a man doesn't have a child, AND if she will be a single mother or not. What hard reproductive choices do men get to make now that they wouldn't have to make with paper abortions? Because it seems to me men don't get choices, hard or otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:15 AM
1

No reason to, doesn't mean I wont lol
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:09 AM
4

You still didn't contend with the fact that nobody in the world except the mother would get to meet the child because none of them raised the kid either. Because your point is nonsense. "You're not reasonable and bad faith because I don't like your conditions" No you're unreasonable because by your logic nobody could meet the adult child and you're bad faith because you said you don't give a shit what I think and won't ever change your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/25 12:07 AM
1

Still not a personal attack. You too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:47 PM
2

But you aren't getting a relationship with the "child", you are meeting an adult. Why would anyone get to meet the adult child? Nobody else helped raise them either. No different than the father. And what about the rights of the adult child? You would stop the adult from meeting someone too? Those who don't participate shouldn't get to reap the rewards. No. You are not and will never change my conditions. I couldn't give less of a shit what you think. Those are my terms and I'm not changing my m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:46 PM
5

Yep, I agree with pretty much everything you said. But also there are those rare few people who didn't have to have any negative experiences with the opposite gender to be sexists. Some people are just shits all on their own haha. But surely they are a small minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:30 PM
1

Yes, as do many other women and even fathers of daughters would choose a bear over a man for their daughters. Plenty of men are sexists as well. The popularity of the choice doesn't prove it is right, just how popular misandry is, even among men. I've seen somewhere where an influencer asked a group of men whether they would rather be in the woods with a bear or P Diddy. The men all unanimously chose the bear over P Diddy. That's the point though. That is part of the point. P Diddy is a specific…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:16 PM
4

What does that have to do with my point? What is the benefit the man is getting from meeting an adult stranger he previously had no contact with? That would be the same benefit every person on earth gets to have, and none of them raised that person either. The father is banned from benefiting 100% until the child is the age of majority, I can agree with that. Then they get to meet the adult if they wish, just like everyone else on earth gets to meet the adult if they wish. Nothing unfair about t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 11:04 PM
1

Perhaps you weren't truly bothered, and it only looked like it. In that case I retract the word bothered and apologize. Children have a stronger claim to resources than men have to fuck anything that moves without responsibility. But that is both aggressive, and not what I argued. So yeah, you did aggressively strawman me. One is a possible misreading of your emotional state and one is a criticism of your rhetoric. Neither is a personal attack.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:59 PM
4

What if the paper abortion needs to be established before pregnancy? Then a woman will know where a man stands before having sex with him, and she can make her decisions fully informed. I also think a paper abortion should come with a monetary cost which is paid to the woman. Doesn't make it perfectly equal, but it makes things a lot more equal. It's not fair that the woman would still have to go through pregnancy or abortion, but it's also not fair that she can unilaterally choose to keep or ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:52 PM
0

I would only support paper abortions in a country where abortions are legal and accessible to everyone. So in such a country, a woman at a sperm bank is choosing to have a child as an only mother because she can afford it. If she could not afford it, she should not go to a sperm bank and have a baby. If a woman gets pregnant accidentally and her partner has a paper abortion, then she is faced with the same choice. If she can afford it as a single mother, then she should have the baby. If she can…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:42 PM
6

I would 100% accept those conditions and think they are quite fair... right up until the age of majority that is. At that point it is one adult meeting another and if two consenting adults want to hang out that's up to them. But at that age the man wouldn't be paying child support anymore either, so it seems fair. I would even put more stipulations than OP has, Like men having to have a paper abortion established before pregnancy as well as providing all the funding for the abortion itself and m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:24 PM
6

You know I'm not sure. The motte is very easy to defend: Women have every right to be cautious and take steps to protect themselves and they have plenty of factual evidence to back that behavior. But do these types even realize they are in the bailey when they say bigoted things? Or is their sexism so inextricably entwined with their fear that they truly do not see the difference?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:15 PM
0

Oh I do have arguments, I'm not sure you are prepared to contend with them in good faith though. Calling a spade a spade and choosing something else isn’t a sexism even if you don’t like it and it offends you. Comparing people to animals and saying the people are worse, so you'll go with the animal, is not just a neutral choice. It is a statement, and the choice that drove it was based on bigoted ideas. Also sexism isn’t abuse, and not all abuse is sexism, you need to learn that before express y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 10:05 PM
1

Okay, so then it is about the likelihood of harm, not the worst case scenario. Which means that you think that on average you are likely to have worse outcomes encountering men than bears.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:52 PM
5

Not the person you responded to, but I think hate and fear often go hand in hand. Actual hatred for men I think is quite rare among women, but if you define sexism as hate then I think that is quite common. A lot of sexism comes from fear, certainly. But I would never call a woman sexist for being cautious or feeling fear around men, though. I know a lot of men will do that. But are women teachers grading young boys worse because of fear? Is Kill All Men necessary to keep women safe? Is comparin…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:49 PM
2

Do you think men are the leading cause of death among women? They aren't and it isn't even close. But that is besides the point. Something doesn't stop being sexist because you are afraid. Even if the fear is justified. Being cautious is not sexist. Comparing people to animals and saying that they are in fact worse on average, is.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:25 PM
1

That's where I'm gonna have to disagree, bucko. I think there are some unhealthy social narratives going around that a lot of women are buying into for a variety of reasons. But that doesn't mean we should start throwing around hasty generalizations either. I don't think women hate us. I think that they have some sexist biases just like men do. But they haven't been constantly confronted for those biases for the past few decades like men have, so they feel a little too comfortable espousing thos…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:17 PM
0

The accusation comes two fold: From the respondents choosing bear. Admittedly this is not intrinsic to the question, but since you were discussing "mens’ reactions to a silly little meme", clearly we are talking about their reaction to respondents and the discourse surrounding it. That the question places men and bears on an appropriate axis of comparison. It's a dehumanizing question by nature. If the question was would you rather wake up next to a pile of shit or a woman, women would understan…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 09:08 PM
0

They 100% are not all saying the same thing you are saying. I think you are taking your minority interpretation and acting as though that was the obvious interpretation, when most respondents and the literal wording of the hypothetical do not align with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:48 PM
1

Was the question "would you rather a man or a bear do their absolute worst to you in the woods" Or was it "Would you rather be stuck in the woods with a man or a bear"? Because I could have sworn it was the latter, idk
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:44 PM
2

Bigotry, dehumanization, and sexism are abuse. If I said I would rather wake up next to a pile of shit than a woman, that would be misogyny, not simply "making a choice".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:33 PM
2

They are very bothered when you bring up paper abortions. Men have no reproductive right that do not ultimately rely on the consent of a woman, which is to say no reproductive rights at all. Children have a stronger claim to resources than men have to fuck anything that moves without responsibility. Funny that you should say I'm making a strawman, you immediately got bothered when I suggested anything about men's reproductive rights and decided to aggressively strawman me. I don't know if you ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:30 PM
1

Keep up the good work man. I also saw that other guy in the thread arguing that this is about worst outcomes and not relative risk. When the literal wording is about relative risk, when every respondent sees the implication and responds based on relative risk, and the interviewer posts all these responses about relative risk voluntarily... It might just be about relative risk. But they have the gall to say that YOU are the one misunderstanding the hypothetical.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:23 PM
0

What was the wording of the original meme? I thought it was "Would you rather be stuck in a forest with a man or a bear" Maybe you saw a different wording as being the original meme? Because that's the wording I first saw and that everyone seems to be responding to. That makes it about relative risk of dangers between men and bears. I understand you're saying the bear could be replaced with any large dangerous animal, and therefore isn't specifically "about" bears. Sure, that's true. But you the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 08:18 PM
5

I think a lot of men understand why women say bear. -Men harm women at disproportional rates -The legal system has many problems prosecuting those crimes -You can't tell who is going to harm you, so you must be cautious -All of this and more has contributed to women fearing men But you can say all of that stuff without making a sexist, dehumanizing, and bigoted statement. So when men say they have a problem with the hypothetical or the answers to it, it's often not because they don't understand …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:57 PM
1

I don't think the man vs bear thing will go away until people actually disavow it. But every time it is brought up people still defend it. The meme is old, but as long as the same thoughts and feelings that allowed it to exist in the first place are still around, it won't go away.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:46 PM
1

Yeah nah, that guy is misunderstanding lol. First of all the metaphor is about an encounter with a unspecified man and an unspecified bear. If women want to make that about fearing rape more than death then they are misunderstanding the literal wording of the hypothetical. At best that means YourMrFahrenheit is pointing out that he AND women misunderstood the hypothetical. Because if you take the actual wording of the hypothetical as it was posed, then of course it is a condemnation of men. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 07:40 PM
5

Yeah, it makes sense that women will gravitate towards progressivism when it offers them only benefits and validation. Men don't have a movement in the same way, so we don't see so much of it, but I'm sure they would behave similarly. Plenty of hypocrites in the redpill after all. I don't think women are uniquely unprincipled and self interested, just the normal amount. But yeah. If you want to see a progressive turn into a conservative in a matter of seconds just ask them about men's reproducti…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 05:23 PM
1

And therefore you don't think women should pick the bear?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 04:29 PM
6

One thing OP brought up that I absolutely agree with is: Too often toxicity from men will be gendered and treated as systemic, whereas toxicity from women will be treated as anecdotal and just a "people thing". At least I assume that's what his "Not All shield" point was about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:25 PM
3

Men are killing women per capita more for sure. But you absolutely need to factor in encounter rate or that stat doesn't really mean anything. Polar bears, the deadliest land predator, kill less people per capita than vending machines. But you bet your ass I would rather encounter a vending machine lol. If we are using stats to demonize half of all people we better make damn well sure we are using the stats correctly.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:20 PM
5

I do think the radicalization of women is pretty serious. It will end up killing people and making society worse, it just won't do it in the directly violent ways that men end up doing it. This is not to downplay the danger of radicalized men, more to say that we shouldn't downplay the radicalization of women. Agree with the rest of your comment though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:15 PM
4

When OP brought up men or women sharing bad experiences I think he meant: Often toxicity from men will be gendered and treated as systemic, whereas toxicity from women will be treated as anecdotal and just a "people thing". If that is what OP was talking about then I do think that is a real phenomenon and I personally see it all the time on this sub and just about everywhere else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 03:02 PM
5

Yes, that's why I said I wasn't accusing you of hypocrisy. Your comment is also near the top in this thread. When it is men's toxicity being gendered, typically the comment saying "why are we gendering toxicity?" will be closer to the bottom. That's not about you having different standards for men or women, I'm sure you are consistent. It is about which sentiment is more popular. The argument I am trying to make is one of asymmetric gender essentialism. In each scenario, these will be the more p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:54 PM
3

OP is pointing to a specific kind of toxicity. It's the tendency for a certain set of people to hold progressive values and analytic framework when it comes to their own group but not extend those same things to their out group. That is a behavior we seem to be seeing more often from women. There are certain kinds of toxicity that come from men more often, and we have no issues gendering those. Ironically, your comment kind of showcases one of OPs points. When men trend towards a toxic behavior …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:42 PM
12

I really don't know how much of a minority it really is. The man or bear thing made the rounds irl (at least where I live) and the men are pigs or kill all men I hear every now and again. Misandry isn't real is a sentiment I hear more and more, although not everyone expresses it that way, when you dig a bit it seems to be an intuitively held belief. BUT I hear that kind of stuff from plenty of men too, it isn't only women. I do live in a progressive city in a progressive country and I go to univ…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:31 PM
20

Bailey: Spreading dehumanizing sexist bigotry online. Motte: "We're just saying women feel unsafe!"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/25 02:19 PM
–

Yeah, it does take some work. Also a community means that sometimes you will be around a few people you don't like. That's the cost! I think what we used to have was communities that formed organically, either by necessity or for entertainment, so those costs came naturally with the benefits. That doesn't really happen anymore, so you have to put in the work like you said. But that also means that it is way harder to get people consistently involved in your community, because it is completely vo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:46 PM
–

The loss of third spaces is such a huge part of the problem imo! That one is really tough to fix though. Even if you make new third spaces that are affordable, most people tend to stay home way more, we're just way more insular. Also you used to be forced into third spaces and communities either for entertainment or support, you aren't really forced anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:09 PM
2

I did! Lots of people agreed it was abuse, but were just all "oh well, what are you gonna do about it?"
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 11:24 AM
4

Play fighting is definitely the wrong term. But I know women like that. My friend's girlfriend once broke a bottle over his head in a rage, but nothing ever came of it. He never called the cops, didn't break up with her (for some ungodly reason) and the friend group just shrugged and said "yeah she's kinda crazy".
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 11:42 AM
1

Kind of sounds like the bare minimum...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 09:45 PM
11

I legit just said it won't work to make a fat woman thin, but it will work to hide chub. And men don't wear them for the same reason they don't wear makeup: it's not socially acceptable. It won't make them more attractive, it will just make them weird or effeminate or whatever. I think you severely underestimate makeup. It won't give you a new face, but it's huge. I have a girlfriend, I've had girlfriends. I've seen the before and after of them getting dolled up. It's big. As far as the height t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 04:31 PM
10

Height doesn't matter for women, it matters a lot for men, heels also make you look better. Makeup can do A LOT, "only goes so far" is a massive understatement. What plastic surgery would men be getting? Because Bigger boobs or ass only works for women to be more attractive. Only ones for men would maybe be jaw. And you do have clothes that can change your apparent weight, might not make someone very fat look slim, but it can hide some excess. So basically all of your suggestions are pretty much…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 04:16 PM
1

Lmao you think that just because a woman is crying you did something wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 10:29 PM
12

The argument isn't if hypocrisy is bad, it's if these are cases of hypocrisy at all. Maybe some inconsistent things are okay between the sexes. Maybe this phenomena doesn't actually happen at all in a way that can be attributed to different sexes. Or any number of arguments that actually had to do with the subject. These are all things that could be discussed. OPs personal views on each gender was issue isn't the topic, nor is it even interesting. This is a gender debate sub, not a "Mountain_Res…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 02:37 AM
12

No, he didn't ask to debate what you want to debate. If you debated the actual topic you might be able to expose vulnerabilities and oversights in his worldview, but you are unwilling to do that. Also, no matter whether he answered you with: A: I think all are bad B: I think all are good C: I'm inconsistent and also a hypocrite None of that would change or challenge the actual substance of the debate, which is whether women are generally inconsistent with these ideas. That's why what you're focu…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:25 AM
14

He wasn't asking to be debated on the discourse topics, he was asking to be debated on perceiving a double standard. If someone says "stealing is wrong unless I'm the one who does it" I can call that inconsistent without sharing my views on theft. That is not the point of the debate, and is not some lazy tactic it's actually straight forward. Feel free to start a new debate where you ask him what his views on each thing are, but that isn't the point of this one. If anything it's quite ironic tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 12:51 AM
17

He did disclose his view: Women frame their own toxic behaviors as harmless while condemning men’s and gave examples of it happening. He doesn't have to tell you his view on the examples so that you can debate those, his view on the examples is not what he's wanting to debate. This isn't a whataboutism at all either.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 10:33 PM
7

If you think that this post is blaming an entire other gender you are not interpreting it in good faith. Take some personal responsibility for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:34 PM
–

Ah, I see, so you were attacking the argument you thought I was making instead of the one I actually was. I never said i didn't believe it. In fact, I confirmed it is something some women do. You also argued that this isn't a woman tendency, it's just a human tendency. That's what I was arguing against. Because I agree this can be used as a cop out, but that's not a reason to deny its existence. As you said, two things can be true. If I had to just make a broad claim it would just be that due to…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 01:51 PM
–

That's interesting because as soon as I put maternal gatekeeping into google every definition and article says: The phenomenon of maternal gatekeeping refers to the extent to which mothers regulate and influence fathers' involvement in childcare and household tasks. And when you dive into the studies that very much is a component of it. But maternal gatekeeping is only one aspect of what I'm talking about. Because this goes beyond just parenthood. If we can agree that: -Women are doing most of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 01:18 PM
2

Yeah maternal gatekeeping basically covers the regular chore stuff too, its not only when it concerns kids. I think women are territorial about the house stuff because society imposed the homemaker label on them and they internalized it. You know, patriarchy and all that. When they have kids it's majorly increased, of course, but I think that conditioning is there before kids too.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 08:40 PM
1

Just want to point out that you can look up maternal gatekeeping and see that while we all do it, it seems to be a greater tendency with women. There's actual evidence to back it up. But besides the whole analyzing gender roles and all that jazz, yeah. It's hard to cooperate in a household. Sometimes it can be hard to just let go and not let perfect be the enemy of good.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 08:23 PM
1

I mean look up maternal gatekeeping. It doesn't only refer to raising children, it pertains to all household management. We do have evidence that women do this more, I'm not just making it up. That's not to say they're the only ones to do it. But it's a real thing you can look up yourself. I would provide you with some links but I'm sitting in the sun with a rum and coke atm lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 08:18 PM
4

Honestly this is not a women thing. People do this lol. We're talking about tendencies, you can find an exception to all of them. Like I can acknowledge that men have a greater tendency to be slobs. That doesn't mean that ALL men are messier than ALL women. I could find woman slobs and man neat freaks. If we can't talk about gender tendencies because outliers exist there is absolutely no reason to talk about gender dynamics at all and we can delete this sub now. I can agree-only if the tasks are…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 02:10 PM
11

I agree with you, both these things happen. I'm gonna put aside the men who don't do enough, because I don't have any disagreement or anything to add. That's definitely a tendency that exists among men. But I think there is a tendency among most women and not just the super type A women. It's like they have a particular idea about exactly how and when things should be done and treat that as the universal standard for adulthood or whatever. Like here's a very minor example: My girlfriend hates do…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 01:44 PM
2

Multiple things can be true. Some men treat all women crying as manipulative. Some women use crying to manipulate. Some women don't use it to manipulate, but by virtue of them crying they still get to end an argument that is upsetting them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 05:50 PM
4

Okay, but there is a middle ground here. Some women absolutely use tears to control a disagreement. And when tears come involuntarily, that still gets you a win in an argument. Suddenly it's no longer about solving the dispute, but soothing the crying partner. That's fine if you then say "I may be crying, but that doesn't mean this argument is over, I don't mean to be crying right now, I still want to hear you out". But very conveniently, that part never comes in. It's just the crying part, the …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 03:35 AM
–

True, but doesn't address my point. If you aren't skewed you would have an even distribution. Roughly half of men would be below average, roughly half would be above. If when women rate men they put them mostly as below average, that would be skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:56 PM
–

I didn't post their pictures, did you mean to reply to the comment above mine?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:54 PM
–

Like, I hate to be mean, but the third pic for the women is like a 2, not a 5, for example. She's got some extremely bizarre features that don't put her in the realm of average imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:59 AM
–

If women put most men below average then it would be skewed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 03:07 AM
–

Way too generous with the women and way to harsh with the men imo. But then again I'm not attracted to men at all, so tough to say for them. But I can definitively say way too generous with the women for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:32 AM
1

No it actually happens MORE frequently than men claim it does and women are FAR nastier. It was revealed to me in a dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 05:28 PM
1

No. There's something inherently unethical about murder, because you're doing undue harm to someone without their consent. Same goes for theft, same goes for rape, same goes for fraud, same goes for abuse. These are all inherently unethical. They do undue harm without consent. The potential to do something unethical is not the same as doing something unethical. Buying a knife makes murder easier, but it isn't unethical. An age gap makes abuse easier, but it isn't unethical. You are looking at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 08:12 PM
2

Ooooh, I get it now. Sorry yeah, that's true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 12:19 AM
1

It's a man thing to be horribly socially inept because they take things extremely literally to the point of idiocy. It's a woman thing to be incredibly neurotic and read into everything to the point of self sabotage and then assume that's just the natural way of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:59 PM
1

Sure, what does that have to do with my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:49 PM
1

What, can you not understand that I'm agreeing with you? Why can't you understand that? Did I say: you expect the woman to question and second guess the message he is sending and try to convince him to change his mind or ask him repeatedly and harass him into saying yes Or did I say: He may not have literally rejected her, but it's not unreasonable for her to make that assumption. If you turn down a date, you should offer an alternative if you are truly interested. To think you can turn down 3-4…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:48 PM
0

He said no to dates. Not to a relationship. That is what you extrapolated.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:45 PM
2

This doesn't prove whatever you think it's proving.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:44 PM
7

Yeah, it's autistic as fuck to take things at face value all the time and not extrapolate social queues from it. You're extrapolating social queues. You aren't taking things at face value. You feel that your extrapolations are face value. When they are not. Its not what you are doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 04:27 PM
0

🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 04:23 PM
1

It's not a rejection. You're just doing the woman thing of believing that your social conditioning is universal. But he's doing the man thing of believing that everything he says should be taken at face value and absolutely no signals can be extrapolated from them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 04:21 PM
1

He didn't say that he didn't want to date. He said he was busy those times. You're reading more into it. You aren't taking things at face value. He was, however, socially retarded and should have provided alternatives and I don't blame her at all for moving on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 04:19 PM
5

Oh please.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:43 PM
4

You're doing the opposite of taking something at face value. If she took it at face value she would get "I'm busy" not "no". You extrapolate a no, you don't get one at face value. He wants to date her, he's just socially inept and an idiot. She wasn't wrong to move on, but stop saying "face value" when that's LITERALLY not the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:42 PM
0

He can easily suggest a date and time when he isn’t busy. But he didn’t. Why? And this is the part where you read something into it. He wasn't rejecting her if he was upset that she moved on. He was, however, socially inept. I don't blame her at all for moving on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:24 PM
0

No to a date, not No to a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:22 PM
9

No. He did not say no to continuing the relationship, he said no to a date at those particular times. He said he was busy. If anyone is muddying consent here it's you. Now, all that being said I ultimately agree with you. He may not have literally rejected her, but it's not unreasonable for her to make that assumption. If you turn down a date, you should offer an alternative if you are truly interested. To think you can turn down 3-4 dates in a row without consequences is ridiculous. You're broa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 03:20 PM
1

There are good reasons to believe that it has higher chances of being abusive. Or that abuse could be done more easily. That does not make age gaps immoral or unethical on their own. It can explain ickyness though. So no, it doesn't fit within that framework. Unless you can find me something inherently unethical about age gaps.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 01:27 PM
1

I don't think it's fluid, more like contextual. It depends on your society or group. Assuming we're speaking from a western perspective (a safe assumption) then we do have rigid agreed upon rules for morality and ethics. You know, stuff like not doing harm to others and all that jazz. So no, icky is not "just as good" a reason as unethical or immoral. Icky can be a fine justification for why you personally don't like something. Immoral or unethical would be a justification to make something ille…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 01:06 PM
1

Yeah, I agree. Always a good idea to look at the things a movement has actually done (and what its members disavow or abide) than to listen to the claims of its members.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:53 PM
1

So when evaluating whether an organization is radical or not we must evaluate the actions they take and not their actual ideals.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:38 PM
0

I agree, it's not related. I thought getting rid of the patriarchy was more a mainstream liberal feminist type of ideal at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:27 PM
-1

Would you say that by that definition a movement that wants to tear down the patriarchy would be a radical one?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 06:22 PM
2

I don't draw the line before 100 years
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 04:00 PM
-1

So there's no problem with someone older dating an 18 or 19 year old in your mind? Because you said teenagers, and those are teenagers. You want to raise the age to 21, so obviously you weren't talking about the 13 year olds. Those are already minors under the law.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 01:18 PM
1

So then 18 and 19 years olds are adults?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 01:14 PM
1

No, all people in their 20s are adults. Why do you say that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 01:02 PM
0

Most people in their 20s are not adults. We should increase it to 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:57 PM
1

Well when it's a top comment it means more people agreed than disagreed and it's in the hundreds of upvotes. So that's indicative of something.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:27 PM
3

It's kind of arbitrary in a way. We have agreed on 18 as an age at which you are an adult and can make these decisions for yourself. If we had arbitrarily chosen 25 instead people like you could be repeating your exact words and saying they're still too young to not be manipulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:26 PM
6

Well you haven't offered me anything inherently unethical about age gaps yet, so for now that's all you got.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:18 PM
1

Yeah, because it's icky. Hence, my argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:15 PM
2

That's not inherently due to an age gap. You could want to date an elderly woman because she can't argue back. Wanting to subjugate your partner is the immoral part, not the age gap. Wanting to fuck a legal adult teenager is icky not immoral. A large age gap does increase the likelihood of abusive behavior, that's for sure. But you have to evaluate that on a case by case basis, not just condemn an age gap out of hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:13 PM
2

We shame men for dating much younger women cause it's icky. I think this is the crux of the argument. People just find it icky and then work backwards to try to justify that feeling. There's nothing inherently immoral about it, it just feels icky to women (and many men).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 12:05 PM
8

But if you have like some 25 year old dating a 35 year old, no one’s gonna notice or care. Excuuuuuse me?! Have you even been on Reddit? It's insane how puritanical this site has gotten about age gaps. Please trust me, there are HORDES of people who get upset about 25 & 35 year olds dating. I saw a top comment the other day shitting on a 23 and 28 year age gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 11:55 AM
2

it’s just staying clear about the scope. No that's my whole problem. If this was called the "Women's Gender Gap Report" and the language in the study explicitly said that they are only measuring the places where women, specifically, are behind then I wouldn't have a problem with it. The problem isn't about what they are measuring, it's that they are presenting all of gender parity as being about one thing: where women are behind. That doesn’t mean men’s struggles aren’t real, it just means this …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:59 PM
2

You’re splitting hairs No, not really. If there was a report that said it was trying to achieve parity and only measured where men are behind I think you would have a problem with that framing. Men are consistently behind in certain metrics and are struggling more than ever in some new metrics. Only focusing on the places where men are behind and ignoring all the places where they are ahead would not be about tracking their progress towards parity. Furthermore, I would have to wonder what kind o…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:45 PM
1

A more specific title and more specific language in the introduction. Because in the report itself it only talks about the gap between sexes and achieving parity in the introduction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:36 PM
6

Which it isn't. Its tracking the progress of women's empowerment.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 08:05 PM
11

Then that's still not accurate. If it was just measuring gender gaps then it would measure the ones going in the other direction. In the report it says it's measuring gender parity, full stop. You yourself are the one who said it was measuring parity. Call it the "women's empowerment report" or the "women's progress report" in that case. And in the study itself write about how you're only measuring women's advancement or the closing of negative gaps for women. They used purely neutral language w…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 11:58 AM
11

Well then it's not really measuring parity. IF it claimed to be only measuring parity for women, it would be dishonest. If women are doing better than men somewhere, that's not parity either. I just read the first page of the report, and all of the language is about neutral parity. It talks about gaps between genders. But the report isn't just measuring all gaps between genders, it's only measuring gaps where women are behind. So it does seem a little dishonest, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 11:39 AM
1

Alright, if we're pulling out the back country credentials, I've been going back country backpacking on multi day trips multiple times a year for over a decade. So we got that out of the way. There's a reason that bear cans have to be used by law where I go backpacking and that's in black bear country. It's because bears are dangerous and we don't want them associating humans with food. I've encountered a few black bears, one of them stalked me and my two friends for about 4 kilometers. That one…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:11 PM
–

Feminist writers have books about how men's issues affect women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:52 PM
–

Women's subs on Reddit are unhinged. Thank god women in real life don't act like the ones on this website.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 07:40 PM
0

But they ought to be treated worse than wild bears, at the very least.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 06:05 PM
2

Agreed on all points!
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:51 PM
-1

I have. I've seen bears. Rather see a man every time. Y'all are delusional and bigoted.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:45 PM
–

So size matters then.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 09:33 PM
5

Perhaps TMI, but as a guy I can also empathize. I have parts of my parts that aren't supposed to be attached. So we have to start slow or there can be tearing there too.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 10:05 PM
–

Women don't have it beaten into them that their presence is unwanted. Women just want to "ask" without asking, the same way they go about dating. Just using hints that don't ever put you at risk of rejection. It isn't avoiding confrontation, it's avoiding rejection.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:59 PM
–

You're attempting to manipulate. Whether you succeed or not is another matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:46 PM
–

You need to stop making these assumptions when it comes to men. Not only do a lot of men respond best to direct communication, a lot of us also don't want to overstep or annoy, since that's what we've been so heavily cautioned against doing. Expecting someone to pick up on indirect signals will always be more manipulative than directly communicating your needs... Obviously. Is the potential for an extremely unlikely awkward scenario there? yes. But it won't be manipulative, everyone will know ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:42 PM
–

Is it that they get to feel like a hero, or that their advance will be welcomed instead of reviled? Maybe both.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 09:17 PM
–

This read as more of an explanation than a justification to me. But I do agree with you that a lot of the time the way women are socialized is used as a justification while the socialization of men must be completely dismantled.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:52 PM
0

You definitely sound mad
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:02 PM
2

Didn't realize having the same moral standards for everyone was a feminine ideal. Is hypocrisy a staple of male morality?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 09:07 PM
2

If you aren't better, then you are the exact same thing you are railing against. If you justify doing bad things because bad things have been done to you, you'll just keep perpetuating the same bullshit. I don't use women's morality. I use my morality. I will ruthlessly apply my standards of morality to man and woman alike, because that is what I think is right. And a lot of women hate that shit because they get called out for the same shit they complain about men doing. Them being hypocrites wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 08:59 PM
1

Good on you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:59 PM
1

Damn I guess we gotta add "not typing like OP" to the list of attractive traits lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:28 PM
1

My girlfriend once told me that she couldn't hurt me. She wouldn't even know how to. I can't quite put it into words but that really bothered me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 07:08 PM
1

Appreciate your work, king
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 06:47 PM
2

I get what you're saying, but we have to be better. I've heard so many times from women "I'll start being better once men stop doing X". We should do the right thing because it's the right thing, or because it's more effective. Not because of some tit for tat system. Personally, I don't want to give them any more ammo. I've got my principles and I'm going to apply them to myself and to others in equal measure. Because that's what a man ought to do, imo. If you do that, they can never point the f…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 06:29 PM
–

Do you mean you've formed an opinion of judges based on how they... statistically tend to rule more harshly before they've eaten?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 12:27 PM
2

As far as large figures go I could definitely see that. I was thinking more within their own community. Like situations where you get the kind of responses I listed. Admittedly I mostly see it when people ask why they keep defending blatant sexism towards men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 10:15 PM
2

I think Immutable characteristics are a good place we can draw a line on what hatred is maybe tolerable and what hatred is completely unacceptable. Gender, race, disabilities, etc. Not cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 08:40 PM
3

Do they? Just from what I've seen on Askfeminists, whenever a thread comes up about something bad that feminists either have done or defend it's: -I don't believe that really happened/ you must have misunderstood -It's not a bad thing when women do it -That wasn't a REAL feminist -I don't care I've never seen anyone ever go: "You're right, that's a bad thing that we should work on fixing". To be fair though it's not like male spaces say that a whole lot either lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 08:36 PM
–

Well full disclosure, I'm a straight dude and these are just men I wished I looked like 😂😂
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 04:42 AM
–

Okay but what about Ian Bohen? 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:56 AM
5

Or maybe because you get rejected so much you kind of cling on to whoever you manage to get. They don't have to be fairy-tale perfect, just good enough. Maybe, idk.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 03:00 AM
–

Regardless of how I feel about celebrity crushes... You have good taste lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 02:45 AM
–

I think a "crush" is more than just thinking someone is hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 02:39 AM
0

At different points in his life he had different preferences. I'm curious, what do you think "preference" means?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:51 PM
-1

pre·fer /prēˈfər/ verb 1. like (one thing or person) better than another or others; tend to choose. I don't know your personal definition of "prefer", but I do know what it means. Did he make any prescriptions for how society should be structured? No. He said that at some points in his life he would prefer the modern woman and that at others he would have preferred the 1950s woman. Some days I would prefer steak and on other I would prefer cake. I would especially prefer to have my cake and eat …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:46 PM
0

People prefer things that they prefer? How intriguing...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 11:31 PM
2

I think you may have been shadowbanned or something. I can see you replied but it's not showing up here.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/25 04:55 PM
3

Asking to do a sexual act, getting consent, and then doing it is normal behavior, yes. From men or women. There's obviously impulse control since when told no he didn't do anything else. You might just be a little unhinged. If a woman did the same this wouldn't make the news. Because, while unusual, it isn't bad.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/25 04:23 PM
5

Yeah it's weird an inappropriate, it's not assault. It's not malicious. It's not even immoral. But you are trying to color it that way. Are you okay?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/25 04:20 PM
3

So are you saying he victimized people, or not? Is the asking part what makes it ok? Yeah that's what consent is
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/02/25 03:55 PM
1

Yeah, I get you. I'm not saying we must always call everything out, I'm just saying we ought to try. Strive to be better, even if the ideal might not be possible. Of course we don't have the bandwidth to really do that and it's not a fair expectation that we always do that, I agree. But one place where I definitely disagree with you is letting venting and hyperbole slide. I don't let it slide when I see women compare us to wild animals or when they say they legitimately want all of us dead. I do…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 08:25 PM
3

Both are useless in their own way.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 06:36 PM
1

I don't devote a lot of energy to challenging them, but I do challenge them sometimes. I think we should make an effort to always challenge them. One of my biggest problems (perhaps the biggest?) is how they never call each other out. They either pretend they don't see it or pretend that those people aren't really a part of their movement, etc. We have to be better, not just a reflection of what we want to fight.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 06:25 PM
3

While we don't want to turn into menslib we also don't want to turn into mensrights. There's a careful balance!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 06:19 PM
1

While I agree with the spirit of your post, this is the type of thought terminating cliche thinking that we shouldn't do either. They made a good point about how society might be shifting to favor one gender in certain areas. It's worth taking some time to think about it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 06:17 PM
35

Yeah, I definitely hear where you're coming from. We don't have a ton of studies that really define and compare loneliness between men and women and that come away with a clear cut disproportional result. I do believe there is something there, though. Suicide and homelessness (which do wildly disproportionately effect men) point to some sort of lack of support. Substance abuse and addiction among young men has risen to double the rate among young women recently, which points to some sort of desp…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates11/02/25 05:57 PM
0

I'm with you, I wish we wouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater when it comes to feminism. It really does get a lot of things right. Most of the things we complain about here are due to unfair gender expectations, whose cumulative effects feminists define as the patriarchy. Well, some feminists define the patriarchy that way...
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/02/25 05:45 PM
0

The interpretation that I see the most is that it is just the totality of all gender expectations and their consequences in our society. And that when looking at the totality of those consequences men tend to benefit more / suffer less from them than women do. I would generally agree with that definition, but it's a matter of to what degree. You'll have some who argue that men's suffering doesn't exist or is negligible. Or that men can't experience any negative consequences due to their gender (…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/02/25 02:12 PM
17

Not only that, but then you get to witness the same group do the exact behaviors that they claim is ruining everything (and is your fault), but somehow "It'S dIfFeReNt!!" when they do it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/02/25 06:21 PM
2

They probably do live in the US and are just being combative.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 04:12 AM
1

Montreal and Quebec? What's up with that haha
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/08/24 03:44 PM
1

Every woman will be young, not every man will be tall. Age might be the most mutable thing we have lol, it's constantly mutabling! Mine's mutableing right now!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 08:05 PM
2

I agree with you. It's easy for me to feel like she should be named and shamed because that's what happens to men when they are falsely accused. That would be just, to me, if she faced that same social stigma. But maybe it would not be right? Is it possible for something to be just and fair but not right? Well anyway that's what I feel about it. I also feel like we really should not be revealing anyone's names only from an accusation.
/r/MensRights12/10/15 02:48 AM
3

What a useful comment.
/r/MensRights12/10/15 02:42 AM
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