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karavan7 Archive

View 0 posts and 88 comments by karavan7 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

This might be a mindfulness thing. You're stuck in some loop ruminating on the past over and over. Go outside for a walk. Hold your head up. Look out at the world, eyes open, and study the sights and sounds around you. When the repetitive tape loop begins, try to gently say "ruminating" (or however you identify this) and then return your focus to the world in front of you. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 06:36 PM
7

Stop stalking her online. That’s self harm.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 04:19 PM
5

There are lots of reasons that you’re attached to your memory of your former life. Just stop. No services. No money. Responsible co-patent by your own standards.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 03:48 PM
2

Yes. It’s common to encounter a spouse who refuses divorced. 1. Take all assets. Cut off all payments. You cannot pay on a mortgage without giving her half. She signs a settlement or the bank gets the house. 2. If she has anything in your name, such as a car, phone, cc, insurance— cancel it. Take the car and close all accounts. It seems likely she okayed you for money. Cut off all sources. Sorry this is so ugly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 11:44 AM
1

This is why you must act decisively and quickly. Get a lawyer and serve papers on Monday. Get a place to live. Move out. Close all accounts. Take all assets. Leave nothing. Under no circumstances give her money. It’s a harsh reality.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 10:36 AM
2

It has not been as good as you imagine.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 01:39 AM
5

You are screwed. Mistakes are expensive. We can give you advice on how to keep some of your wealth but the short answer is that you have to pay. The faster you do it, get a settlement, a co-parenting plan, etc. The better it will be for you. Get a lawyer tomorrow and present settlement terms immediately. You must cutoff all payments until it signed. It’s her idea and the laws favor women with children.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 01:34 AM
3

Your birthday is cancelled. Join the club. Now go out and have a drink at the bar or sit by the river.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 09:04 PM
7

Make your own decisions. Now is not the time for dating. Get a lawyer and serve papers immediately. Get out of this environment so you can think.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 06:57 PM
6

Totally. And I'm glad this is an option for you. I got a professional divorce paralegal to draw up and file the papers. Everything split according to our plan. I believe the total bill with the court fees was around $300.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 01:23 PM
2

Everyone acts on their self interest. This is genuine. Call it selfish and we should assume that's what will happen.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 01:16 PM
3

Lawyer. And, yes, you acted foolishly. These things are not fair. Keeping the house is a mistake as you bear the cost of it and the other party pays nothing and gets half the nominal value. A money grab is quite common. Take everything. Lock her out of all accounts. Get the lawyer to take everything possible. If you personally feel it's unfair, when the divorce decree is signed, you can give back money or assets.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 01:15 PM
1

Everything you leave behind is gone. A successful male divorce involves taking a loss. Personally, I’d rather get that over with. What does your lawyer say?
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 01:30 AM
3

Circumstances are under your control. Drop the drama and move out. Yes, it will be expensive. Mistakes usually are.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 10:21 PM
2

And get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 11:38 PM
8

You are correct that the system is rigged. When you get this far you need to take everything you can and walk away. Your losses are large. Freedom and happiness are priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 11:41 AM
5

If you need it, go to the mall.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 02:32 AM
1

It’s not clear if you’re economically separated, ie no joint assets/liabilities. Cut off everything today. I would assume that you’re giving her money one way or another, likely a mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 02:47 PM
1

I take it you’re in the house. If so, change the locks. You lost your money.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 02:34 PM
3

Fire your lawyer. Ditch the joint lease and move out. What’s her motive for delaying? Get your new lawyer to pressure her to settle and sign.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 06:33 AM
3

That’s not the way it works. She can contribute $500K and you $5M. Half is hers. Don’t get married. It’s a contract with the government.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 03:25 AM
8

Sad. And I know lots of people waiting for the kids to be grown or some retirement goal or savings. Fuck it. If it sucks leave. You’ll be so much happier.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 02:36 AM
2

You cannot give her any money until the settlement is signed. Everything that you have left behind is hers. It's gone. Do not pay any bills, especially mortgage or rent. Empty all accounts and close all credit lines. Get her served with papers asap. The courts will take your assets and you will pay child support. None of this is fair and it one of the areas where men need to be very calculating and logical. She can get her legal share as soon as she signs a settlement, until then, the bank takes…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 01:53 AM
8

Mourn your loss. Nothing is forever. Taking a loss hurts and makes you strong.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 12:31 AM
11

Mistakes are expensive. Happiness is priceless. Pay up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:29 PM
5

It’s not fair. The laws favor women. Now get a lawyer, take everything, and leave. Divorce screws over men. Act accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 03:36 PM
4

File papers. Take everything. It’s your house. Pay no bills, especially mortgage. Sue for constructive eviction. Stop being passive. You’ll get screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 03:06 AM
4

On moving day, take everything. Whatever you leave behind is gone. And empty and close all joint accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 02:25 AM
3

Truly horrible. You can use the losses you are going to take to your advantage. Stop trying to defend your assets, especially anything that is worth less than the settlement and legal bills. Gut any businesses and close them. Hide assets. Once there’s a settlement, declare bankruptcy. Pay no bills and use that cash for the lawyers. Make sure that her half is worthless.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:37 PM
2

Totally normal. It takes a year or two to recover. Go out with friends, particularly women. They’re great wingmen. Don’t take online dating seriously. It works and you don’t want to be disappointed.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:32 PM
-10

Just be firm and direct: 1) When she’s not in the house for a day, use a moving van and take everything. 2) take all assets and close all accounts, 3) lawyer and serve papers, 4) make no payments and give no money, 5) she has the house and makes payments or the bank forecloses, 6) restraining order in family court for putting kid at risk. Divorce is ugly and litigious. Once the papers are signed, if you feel some of the settlement is unfair, you can give assets back. Strike hard. Don’t talk to h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 05:30 PM
4

It’s called mediation. And you should still get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 04:21 AM
1

Make a spreadsheet with the help of your attorney. It should chart the alimony payments over the relevant set of years with or without your current employment. Laws differ by state and alimony is often based on the relative incomes at the time of separation or a few years before separation. It may be profitable for you to lose your job rather than pay usurious alimony for 17 years.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:53 AM
7

You are naively hopeful. Tell yourself out loud to knock that off. You cannot shut off feelings or thoughts. The nature of a feeling is that it is involuntary.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:49 AM
1

Lots of good advice here on separating bills and getting a lawyer. You're about to enter an ugly contract fight with the government and your spouse. It would have helped me to understand that. I proposed many reasonable settlements and variously tried to take care of our joint property and seek a win-win outcome. Take what's yours and leave. Much of the advice below amounts to saying take a loss, which you are going to do, and in that process take everything you can. You can always give it back …
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 05:48 AM
1

Keeping the house in a divorce is often a mistake. When you sell, you're not responsible for the property and you are free to make choices that are appropriate for your new situation. Ask yourself, would you buy the house on short terms for the full price? Or would you buy something else?
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 03:27 AM
10

This topic is here almost every day. The essence of the matter is that nothing is forever. Getting a government marriage contract does not make relationships last. Some of your pain and difficulty is caused by your assumption that this was forever and that the two of you agreed on many things (that had not been discussed).
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 03:09 AM
10

No. There's nothing there. You have friends. Move along.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 05:17 AM
6

It's the entire KoolAid, not just a mauve or lavender flag. I believed that marriage was a partnership, that her actions influenced mine and vice versa, that love was enough. That's not true and a contract enforcing it is not helpful. Anything you want from marriage you can get without it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 05:14 AM
6

You got here the same way most of us did: making unrealistic assumptions. Logic is irrelevant and we did not apply it to the choice to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 03:29 PM
1

Your attorney is conservative. Take everything. And this will be the usual parental shit show where the parents attack each other using the children.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 01:17 PM
1

Call your attorney. The family court is not likely to allow this without the consent of both parents.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 01:08 PM
6

Say nothing. It's more difficult to do and much more powerful. Your thoughts and feelings are yours and meaningful to you. Don't waste them on Xs.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 12:46 PM
1

Stop reminding him. Don't do shit for him. Get a lawyer. Get this over with.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 12:38 PM
1

Selfish is good. It you own true expression of yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:57 PM
2

Your brain is processing the loss and rearranging that information while you dream.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 04:41 PM
9

You’re a fool. Hire a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:10 PM
13

Watch out. NRE doesn’t last. And you’re wildly in love with someone who you do not know.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 02:03 PM
4

The legal divorce usually lags quite a while after the breakup and separation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 09:56 AM
-1

You’re saying people should think like you. They don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:40 PM
3

You’re always dating. And here you don’t know this woman at all. Options open.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:13 PM
6

Set up a living trust.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:28 PM
1

You have your reasons. Nothing is forever. All relationships end. (And that's not about death.) Sounds like you had a good run. If you don't want to continue fighting or you want to experience another type of understanding, leave. I grew vastly in the years after marriage that I spent by myself/single.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:44 PM
15

Now you know what it's like to be committed to a woman. Don't do that. It's not necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:16 AM
4

You made mistakes, now pay the price. Importantly, don't accept responsibility for her expenses, or even for joint expenses if the divorce is not final. Money is leverage once it comes down to a fight. Give up nothing. You can always give it back later. Lawyer. Move out. Everything that remains is hers and she has to pay for it. For example, you cannot make payments on a house you do not live in. It's a loss.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 11:52 PM
8

If you understand that no relationship is forever, that they all end, then you’re in a better position to have a good one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 09:02 PM
6

This is the divorced men with baggage thread. The answers are about our individual experiences with women who hurt or disappointed us. Why get married? You learned some lessons from the previous marriage. Anything you want from a marriage contract, you can get without one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 01:32 PM
2

Let me disagree with many comments. The contract is over. You're going to get a new one from the court. Do nothing. Let her have the house, that's a disadvantage. And move out immediately. I assume you have a lawyer. Instruct him to get on it and draft a settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 01:49 AM
1

I'm sorry for your kid. Now leave. Nothing will get better. You're probably a good listener and validate her feelings.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 01:32 AM
1

Totally normal. You're not ready. It takes time. And you have to learn the lay of the land (so to speak).
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 01:29 AM
9

As friends, we get sick of hearing it eventually. I feel for you. I understand the temptation to "hang out" with your ex. And your friend is right: don't do it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 11:55 PM
8

Ugh. Get a lawyer. Give up nothing until the divorce and custody plan are signed. You can always add to it later. The law is written to advantage the heterosexual mother.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 11:53 PM
2

Tear off bandaid. Take your shit and leave. Done. Yours seem relatively easy compared to one with entangled, non-fungible assests and children.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 11:52 PM
-1

You're milking yourself. [Insert reason here.] When you're ready, leave. Cut off all contact. Take everything with you. Pay no money. Accept no settlement. It's your life. And certainly don't worry about future girlfriends. It's none of their business. You've made mistakes. Those are expensive. Pay up and leave immediately.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 11:49 PM
3

You're unhappy. You've given it a go. Leave. Justify nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 11:44 PM
1

About 70% of heterosexual divorces are initiated by women. https://divorce.com/blog/who-initiates-divorce-more/#:~:text=The%20study%20concludes%20that%20approximately,%2C%20cohabiting%2C%20and%20married%20couples
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 11:44 PM
12

Freedom is the ability to do what you want, when you want, without compromise. Marriage apparently takes work, often divising compromises where both people are unhappy, lose-lose.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/24 11:42 PM
2

Stop negotiating and offer her nothing. Stop talking to her. Have your lawyer hammer out the deal ASAP. Hopefully, you don't live in New York State.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:20 PM
3

Like many mistakes, marriage is expensive. It gets you nothing that you cannot get without being married. My divorce included my substantial retirement accounts, divided under QDRO, and real estate holding, many of which had to be sold short so that we did not remain married by property. Totally worth it. You can always get more money. If you're miserable in a marriage, you are damaging your health, which is priceless. Just file and get it over with. Get the best attorney you can find. Take ever…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:17 PM
2

Quite common. One parent kidnaps the kids and moves to a different jurisdiction. Parental kidnapping. Call the police immediately. There is an FBI section for interstate kidnapping. And enforcement becomes difficult between countries. It's covered under the Hague Convention.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 05:36 AM
5

Talk dirty.
/r/seduction13/06/24 04:18 AM
6

$1.5m. Just add up the retirements accounts at full value and the real estate when paid off.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 02:35 AM
4

Book a pool-side room in Greece.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:48 AM
2

If that's "fine," what's "horrible"?
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:43 AM
1

Let her make payments on the house. If she doesn't want to, let the bank have it. You're a man. You can take a loss.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:28 AM
11

You know what to do. It's none of her business.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:26 AM
2

Toss a perfectly good marriage due to lack of love or passion or whatever. Sounds like you were mating in captivity. This is common in modern, Western marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:17 AM
2

Did she contribute half? If not, unreasonable.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 04:24 AM
2

Get professional help. There is nothing wrong with medication if it works.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 06:31 PM
6

This. Lawyer. Take everything (you can give it back later). Leave.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 06:30 PM
1

Why do you need to tell her anything? Lawyer. Serve papers. Leave. Anything more kind will be more expensive and likely hurtful (for you).
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 06:12 PM
1

Who cares? She’s gone. Lots of people feel entitled to something. Never worry about what they think.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 06:10 PM
5

They're not your friends.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 02:52 AM
7

Stay strong. The best is in front of you. One way to kill a relationship is to assume that it's forever.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 02:49 AM
16

Get a divorce. Get it over with in a one-time complete settlement. Mistakes are often expensive. The best choice is to pay it off completely and be done with it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 01:58 PM
2

Apply pressure. You cannot just go for custody. Go for everything and pay nothing under any circumstances until there is a signed decree. No house payments, cars, credit cards, joint anything. Sorry. Divorce is a shit process with unfair laws.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 12:43 AM
9

You've got the best sex and relationships ahead of you. As soon as you no longer give a fuck, it will fall into place.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:50 AM
1

Talk to every girl that you find attractive. Don't worry about the outcome. It doesn't matter. And ask for her number.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/24 05:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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