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View 2 posts and 53 comments by karemlore on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Need Supportkaremlore/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 11:08 PM
2

karemlore/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 01:01 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Kind of similar, I gave her a really good offer, she asked for a little more which I was entertaining. Then she went for the jugular the next day and when I declined, she tried to use our adult children as a guilt trip/leverage. Decided that it is no longer viable to do uncontested, seeing a lawyer. I was honestly trying in good faith, but this opened my eyes to how it's going to go down.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 09:47 PM
2

Future is past before it has arrived and past no longer exists. You have now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 02:08 PM
6

Future is past before it has arrived and past no longer exists. You have now. When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness."
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 10:18 PM
3

You are fantasizing about a life you never had and need to let that go. It never was, but part of you feels that if you can fix it, maybe it can be...it won't. You need to live for the moment, there is no past and there is no future, there is only now. Future is past before it has arrived and past no longer exists. You have now. Quote I like: "When you complain, you make yourself a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness."
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 08:39 PM
1

I don't know what she and her mom did, but I can tell you that if a third party is becoming involved in your relationship, it never ends well. Her weight is irrelevant, or it should be. You either connect and want to build, or you don't. Her misery is not your problem to solve, stop trying to be a hero. My experience has told me that being the nice guy that will forego their own happiness for a "possible" future is not the way to go. Again, I don't understand the entirety of your issue so only y…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 02:33 AM
3

I have a feeling that my future ex-wife will also fall into this category
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 01:07 AM
6

Missing context. Who left who? Is taking her back your choice or hers? Has she expressed interest in trying again? If so, under what plans to improve the connection? Ultimately the decision is yours, but I split some 4 months ago (not my decision) and I am figuring out how to unwind the relationship without causing more pain. I would say, stick to what is feeling right.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 11:50 PM
2

Study is another option, go study a degree in an interesting topic, or night courses somewhere if you want to meet people.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 11:35 AM
1

Avoiding just puts weight on you, that's not fair to yourself. Don't actively avoid, but don't seek out either. If the conversation goes that way, so be it. Don't be weighed down by this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 02:05 AM
1

You don't know if she has already been told and has forgiven her partner. Honestly I am torn here. I like helping an innocent lady and all from the other comment, buy are you? Either she will already know or you will be causing her harm. Yeah, I would probably be conflicted here too, but I still think in the end that it makes no difference to me in this moment or for my future.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:24 AM
3

You don't owe your ex anything. If you feel that it will allow you to grow and you can live with any consequences, go ahead. BUT: if you feel the need to do this as a form of revenge, you will shrink, not grow. You will feel great in the moment. In your position I probably would not say anything. You gain nothing other than satisfaction against the guy who caused your hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 12:50 AM
2

My son is also still in the house (he is 22).
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 03:34 PM
1

No fault state.i am spending more time with my kids (adults), not less. She seems to be spending more time with another family. I will bear it in mind, thx. She works full time with decent money. Guess ripping band aid is way to go.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:49 PM
2

How if you are still paying for everything including the mortgage. I also go and do stuff and make decisions still about the house. My example is in Florida, so trying to understand this more. Also, she has her mother in law, so she would need to go too if the wife were to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 11:58 AM
1

She will see the charge on the account, but I understand your point, and thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 11:54 AM
1

I don't mind attorney, but everything is joint so that'll be $12k worth of retainer. I still think I can avoid lawyers, but I am not adverse to them if it goes badly. Thanks for your insight
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 02:09 AM
1

I agree on this. She is not willing or ready to "work" on this, so this tells me move on is my path. This was weeks ago. Since then I have been working on myself and feel good about my future. My question is...what's the first steps...I want to avoid lawyers if I can. Do I just file, do I get an agreement with her and/or a mediator first? What is the first thing I should be doing that clearly states my intentions.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 02:04 AM
1

Doesn't this trigger a fight when so far it seems we could get through mediation. I don't want to go down the lose half our money to lawyers route if I can help it (and neither would she).
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 01:16 AM
3

Yeah, same here. And would fuss if I missed anything for her (valentine, mother's day etc.).
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 11:02 AM
1

This is my fear right now
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 03:35 AM
1

There are strangers going through shit (I'm a few months into separation) that care, and there are many out there waiting to meet you who have yet had a chance to. Make the best version of you to show up and greet the future. Some days I am fine, others I sit alone and weep...I embrace my feelings, challenge them sometimes, and this helps me move forward. Good luck, reach out if you need to vent, hearing others helps me process that I am not alone in this experience (not that I wish this on anyo…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:47 AM
1

Checking in on you...how you holding up?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:13 AM
3

Yeah, no, I get it, I didn't look for crazy, they're just the ones that I remained attracted to as it gave me purpose. I don't regret a single choice I've made, I have 2 fantastic adult kids, but we spent far too long with other things than with us, and here we are.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 09:52 PM
3

This made me laugh
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 07:41 PM
3

You sound like my reflection. I always gravitated towards women with issues as a way to bring value to me, and thus the need for validation
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 07:39 PM
4

I've never thought of having issues of earning love from my parents, but I didn't really get close to my father until his retirement...he was always busy or distant. i will have to think on this. Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 06:59 PM
4

Some of your points are where I am at also and I am learning that seeking validation is considered "weird" apparently and I have trouble understanding that. I find it is my connection, what I need in the relationship, but it is seen as odd behavior. That said, you are ok. It may seem daunting, and your life may seem to be in chaos right now, but it will get better. Prirotize one thing a day. Burn down the list Don't jump into another relationship, you are right in sensing that this is not health…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 02:33 AM
12

I know it sucks, but you need to change your thoughts from "her" to "you". If you want to see it as a power dynamic, she has all the power and you are on a leash. You need to face your own future without her in your thoughts, whatever that entails. New hobby, new friends, new surroundings. Try to find a healthy outlet for your anger, I took to hiking...axe throwing, boxing, gym, tai kwando.... whatever that will help you manage you anger while simultaneously finding yourself and realizing that y…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 01:36 AM
3

Firstly, this is the moment you find out who your friends are...You can break down and sob and they'll pat you on the back and hand you a Guinness (or whatever)... Don't isolate for fear of vulnerability...your friends will appreciate you leaning into them and your bond will grow (or break, and then you'll know).
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:42 AM
3

Exactly what I said...when the recording starts, say "I have agreed to record this discussion for future use"...then. Nada
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:15 AM
5

This is the way...even say when the record starts that you agree to the recording....then say nothing...
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:09 AM
7

She asked for separation, I asked for divorce...she was dating which basically told me she was trying to find my replacement while keeping me on a string.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 12:41 AM
2

Well, update. I am ready to move on. I figured that out when I spoke to her last week, discussing where I was with my therapist and whether there was a chance to work through a couple therapist. I (50m) was told she (51f) isn't ready...ok... Then I went home and though long and hard over two days. I worked through fostering kids, her mother moving in, her own two years of therapy and a vitamin D deficiency issue...I stayed...Did I go through emotional affair, yes, I admit I did, I missed attenti…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 05:31 AM
6

Never say never, but I am in separation and feel that if it ends, yeah, not doing it again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 11:55 PM
2

Yeah, I'm taking my motorcycle training next week...
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 02:45 AM
1

AI out the head... :) But seriously, if you found pictures on your new partners phone of her ex's dong, would you be happy? All this tells me is that you haven't moved on (or grown up, no offense intended)
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 09:55 PM
2

So what I am doing is taking my Motorcycle license. :). Something I was always not permitted to do, I can do.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 09:10 PM
1

I don't want to judge your STBXW, but you do make it sound like you believe that you are better without her in your life (at least with any need for commitment). The high moral ground with infidelity is mature of you given your at-fault state. I am also glad that you feel you have a good and strong relationship with your children, you can definitely lean into that. Don't be afraid to make friend groups where potential future partner might be. You can start with just getting to know people.l, if …
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 08:01 PM
1

Make sure your heart is closed to return. Your response above is very detailed, but I read a little hope in the some sections which makes me think you still have a "maybe" somewhere. You need to let go of that if I am reading your feelings through your words correctly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 04:07 PM
2

When someone dies, it hurts...a lot....then the pain subsides as your life continues. Every now and then, you think about the person that died and it can be fleeting, or it can stay with you a while. This is grieving, and is normal for death of close family and for splitting with an ex. Accept if for what it is, and know that it happens and may happen again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 02:24 PM
3

It's not about being strong enough, it's about realizing that you are worthy. Worthy of love, worthy of respect etc. Be there as a father, that's what your kids need right now. Be there as a man, that's what you need right now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 01:47 PM
2

If the married man is not separated and it's been 7 months, it will end. A married man looks outside for fun, not for longevity, otherwise they would have left their wife by now. You are assuming again about the married man's relationship. You need to stop putting your ex on a pedestal of perfection because not with you because all you are doing is making yourself smaller. It's like you got rose colored glasses when looking at your ex's relationship and how woeful your situation is. Realize that…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 01:44 PM
5

Fair enough. Women need validation, so if she jumped quickly into a new partner she was probably already on that path before you broke up. As for dealing with it, focus on other things..."get busy living or get busy dying" as the saying goes. It's imperfect and there will be quiet times when you have nothing to do and you end up thinking about what was, that's normal, it's part of the grieving process. The fact that you are talking to her means you are not letting go of that connection. I am ass…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:50 AM
9

Who says she is in a happy relationship? As far as you know it's just a validation trophy or he could be treating her badly. I do not wish these, just pointing out that you don't know that it's happy in any way shape or form. You also don't know if it's a guy, a gay friend, or someone doing some painting work for her. You don't know... My point is, your mind is making up these fantasies of hot Fifty Shades scenes that are not the truth. It is self inflicted and because you still have an emotiona…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 11:39 AM
5

You are human, we all make mistakes. Are you living the painful consequences today, yes. Is it the end of the world, no. We only fail if we don't learn from our mistakes, and there is infinite paths left infront of you that you can take, stop looking at the one behind you. There is always a future for you, you don't get to choose not to have one, you only get to choose what it looks like and aim for that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 01:54 AM
2

Accept that you had a 25 year marriage and, for all its highs and lows, it is part of you. Depending on why you are thinking about what she is doing depends upon approach. If it's because you are jealous, seek tools from your therapist to deal with that. If it's because you care for her well-being, then realize she is a grown woman and doesn't need you to babysit her. If it's because you wonder if she might go back to how she was, then you need to work on disconnecting actively and stop looking …
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:38 PM
3

Too right, I signed up for motorcycle license...
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 12:34 AM
3

Depends on what you want. If you want the marriage to improve I would highly recommend starting couples therapy asap. If she is unwilling, this already gives you a lot of information. In my case my wife wanted this but wanted it with her therapist. I said I wanted an independent one and so she told me to go find one, even though she manages all the medical stuff (her choice). Now I sit separated (1 week) and facing uncertain future. If you are not interested in her as a partner anymore, your ans…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/26 02:43 PM
7

And to add, if you speak up, your feelings are dismissed or weaponized and you become frustrated and ultimately angry. When that happens, if you are not good at regulating anger, you become the problem.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 02:02 AM
1

I have a strong idea of why I end up yelling. It's when I am made to feel that my feelings are unimportant, or insignificant. It's when hypocrisy is evident, like if I reflect her, I'm the bad one. Having said all that, I am learning to understand that my needs for clarity through dialog do not trump her feelings of wanting to process before engaging. That's why I am starting to agree that not reaching out is the best course of action, but so is not putting my life on hold waiting for her either…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 02:02 AM
2

I do relate to this a lot. It is like a point that you cross and then gloves come off and I am confident that I also do not know what I may have said...
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/26 12:23 AM
1

Thanks for this. I do have reasons why I feel that I got angry...I thought I could handle it on my own but I was wrong. I got a lot better, but it would still happen on occasion. I now have to seek solutions to that no matter how this may end up between my wife and I.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 11:52 PM
1

So I should just wait until she is ready to discuss next steps and hope she reaches out? Should I expect that? Is she waiting for me? My feelings are that I want to fix this if I can. I've started seeing a therapist. My kids are adults now and we still talk nearly every day, they are a great form of support albeit makes my heart hurt when I can't just see them that day.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 11:44 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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