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kharris333 Archive

View 0 posts and 198 comments by kharris333 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I was sympathising with the woman who posted not trying to get sympathy for myself but whatever. No I don't think I was being selfish and unfair, I think i was reacting in a very normal way to sleep deprivation and snapped at my husband, as he did with me at times. He was understanding and acknowledged that it would have been more appropriate to vent to literally anyone else about his tiredness. And in return I know I let many of his snarky comments go when we were in the thick of it because I k…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 12:33 AM
0

Yall have male partners who are complacent, selfish, condescending or passive aggressive when it comes to your sleep and the kids Lol at you reading one comment of mine and thinking you know any of the context. We had our daughter in April 2020. My husband was made to leave the hospital an hour after she was born because that was the covid policy. They kept me in for 3 days, with no visitors and repeatedly yelled at me for nearly falling asleep holding her when they did not respond to the buzzer…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 12:01 AM
0

I mean, I wouldn't feel like it was a job interview if a date asked me if I want to have a family or whether I enjoy my career? Those kinds of questions just seem much deeper/less superficial than 'What do you bring to the table?'.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 10:46 PM
0

But why couldn't you ask those questions directly? I guess I can see what you're getting at in terms of the kind of answer you would want, but I think you would screen out so many compatible and good women who would actually answer along those lines if they knew what the hell you were actually asking with that question.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 10:29 PM
0

I don't understand the point of the question though, it's so broad. If I was asked that I wouldn't even know where to start - do you want to know about my education, my income, my personality, interests or skills? Many people also don't like to brag or conversely they brag too much so I wouldnt trust someone else's assessment of what they bring to the table anyways - surely it's your own opinion that matters and you know what you're looking for so why would you trust their opinion of themself? O…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 08:42 PM
2

I found it so upsetting postpartum that even things like bras and shoes no longer fit :(
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 03:40 PM
–

And the fact that your body can be permanently altered in ways you wouldn't expect, for example despite being back to pre-baby weight none of my bras fit anymore and I discovered that it is common for the baby to expand your ribcage (and therefore band size on a bra is bigger), which will never go back to pre-baby size. Also your shoe size can permanently change due to the hormone relaxin.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/22 07:46 AM
5

probably wouldn't have another kid if I didn't have room for them already? You can have plenty of room for two young children but (especially if you have a boy and a girl) are probably going to need them to have their own bedroom at some point. Ideally you move into a space large enough for the kids you are planning on having before they arrive but sometimes that's just not doable. Frankly getting on the housing market at all is impressive in your mid to late twenties (I.e. When most people want…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:40 PM
3

Nope not unique to your experience - I don't either, aside from a couple who have had to put studies or other plans on hold due to covid - but I know both men and women in this situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:06 PM
3

Depends what you're getting as part of the larger house and what amenities you have nearby. It might be an extra room so that you're children no longer have to share a bedroom, or a dedicated home office so that you don't need to work at the dining table, or perhaps a larger garden because you haven't got much in the way of community space/parks. I have friends who lived in central London who went absolutely stir crazy during lockdown sharing their one bed flats and only allowed out for an hour …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/22 06:02 PM
1

there is a reason why avg women's life is 6 years more than men's Two minutes of googling would tell you that this is nothing to do with men 'working harder'. It is actually due to a mix of biology (testosterone is linked to a decrease in immune system and risk of cardiovascular diseases) and behaviour - men are more likely to have habits linked to poor health such as smoking, drinking and unhealthy eating habits. Men visit the dr less regularly and are less likely than women to follow doctor’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/22 07:26 PM
1

So when exactly is that conversation supposed to take place?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 08:50 PM
1

Fair enough. It wasn't clear from this comment thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 07:35 AM
1

You might love women on a macro level, but the changes in and debates around abortion law in many states in the US suggests that a significant proportion of men (and men in positions of power at that) do not love/respect women as a group.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/22 07:28 AM
2

If this is how you genuinely think about women then why do you even want to be in a relationship? And yes, of course I blame men for rape threats etc., because that is never ok. No matter the provocation. And the fact that you can't see that is really concerning.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 06:40 PM
2

Rape threats are appropriate retaliation for women not wanting to date you? Women just want to be left the fuck alone and you somehow think this is treating you badly. No wonder women want to be alone when men like you downplay sexual assaults and rape threats. This isn't a self defence situation, no one is responsible for your behaviour but yourself. I'm not surprised you've had issues dating if you share these kinds of views with your dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 06:16 PM
2

Women bring it on themselves Seriously? Women bring rape threats (and actual rape), unsolicited dick pics, and all the other abuse that is common on online dating platforms on themselves? And you have the gall to talk about victim blaming further on down in your comment?! I'm done with this discussion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 05:43 PM
2

One commenter Which I havent seen because it's in amongst so many others, but because you've seen one unempathetic comment all women now lack empathy? I understand the potential consequences of large numbers of disenfranchised young men, but this isn't something that women are doing to men, it's the result of a number of societal changes. I notice you didn't address men's role in making OLD an unattractive place for women to seek a partner. No comment on that? Personality does not matter Perhaps…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 08:01 AM
1

Which comments are bad and shortsighted? From my understanding there are way more men than women on OLD, and lots of the 'women' are bots as well, so it's not a great platform for the majority of men to meet women because the numbers don't add up. Worth noting that this problem is at least in part because of men's behaviour; many women avoid OLD because they have been harassed or had bad experiences on dates (e.g. 1. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/03/06/young-women-often-face-sexual-…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 07:17 PM
0

But of course women are going to respond with their perspective? It's not like they are dating women. The women are responding with their experiences of the men they have rejected and why. Why wouldn't that be helpful?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 06:49 PM
3

The question was what can men do to improve their chances, not what women can do so of course the answers are going to revolve around what men can do and ignore what women could do.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/22 12:17 PM
1

What do they blame the guy for exactly? Where the guy is abusive, he may be at fault for creating conditions where it is very hard for her to leave or live on her own. Depends on the type of abuse I guess. Also, I would say that in general I hear the opposite - women being blamed for staying in an abusive relationship ('why didn't she just leave'? type comments).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 01:17 PM
1

I don't understand your point. The cycle of abuse means that people who have been abused think that's normal in relationships, which is precisely why they end up in abusive relationships over and over again. No one is blaming men for women being with abusive men, they are blaming abusive men for being abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 12:36 PM
2

Abusive men aren't blamed for the woman going back to them, they are blamed for being abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 12:33 PM
2

Have you never heard of the cycle of abuse?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 12:01 PM
1

I can't believe you resent that she moved on quickly after you treated her like that. After proposing to her, telling her that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her... you don't think she was devastated that you cheated on her? You think it took her 'nothing' to move on? I suspect she moved on quickly because you cheated on her. Once she got over the shock she will have realised that there wasn't a relationship to grieve because you aren't the person she thought you were (or who you…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 12:40 PM
2

What do you mean by 'alpha enough', because that doesn't chime with my experience at all. The main thing I see in common for the long-term relationships around me is good communication.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 10:49 PM
2

So why do some women's attraction stay strong and some fades?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 09:37 PM
2

Then why do so many men resist seeing a counsellor? If women just 'start problems' for no reason or 'because they don't know what they want' then surely a counsellor would help to show them that the woman is creating issues in the relationship that aren't there.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/22 08:28 PM
2

With my parents for example they were arguing all the time. My mum wanted to see a couples counsellor, my dad refused. My mum went to see the counsellor on her own and eventually initiated the separation but I consider my dad equally to blame because although he didn't want to divorce, he wouldn't countenance seeing a therapist even when the alternative was separating. I've seen this as a common theme in my parents generation - the women repeatedly state what they need and their partners refuse …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 06:45 PM
2

What about the guy she met, he was also introduced through their friends...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 12:51 PM
1

Someone must want them otherwise all men would remain virgins.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/22 12:49 PM
3

The CDC recommends 150 minutes of physical fitness a week. This is a weird comparison given that a significant proportion of the population do not meet this recommendation (I believe the proportion that do is only 23%). My take on your original post is that in most relationships there will be peaks and troughs in terms of how often you have sex. Life is busy, stuff gets in the way. Both partners need to make time to connect. It is work, but if you're in it for the long haul then both need to try…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 06:28 PM
1

I agree that hormones do have an important role to play in our emotions, however it is generally considered to be a medical disorder when hormones dictate our emotions to such a degree. In women for instance PPD, PPA and PMDD are all recognised disorders associated with hormonal changes. As the link you shared before pointed out, socialisation of men and women is also massively important.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 02:57 PM
1

I made that comment as an example to show how stupid and simplistic it is to blame hormones for behaviour lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 01:52 PM
1

How do you know it's because she's a woman? If there are only two women in the team it's not like you have a big sample. There may also be extenuating circumstances you are not aware of. I know I have had resentment in the past at having to pick up other (male) team members slack, only to find out at a later date that they were having some personal issues. As a manager now, I look back at that and think that my manager handled it poorly - I get that they couldn't share this colleague's personal …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 08:12 AM
0

Let's flip this round and talk about male hormones then - men usually have higher levels of testosterone. Testosterone is associated with physical aggression and anger. Anger is an emotion, so therefore men are emotional like children.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:58 AM
1

Fair enough, I thought by 'this guy' you meant the guy who had helped her with her report before, not yourself. Then I agree that sounds unfair and it sounds like your manager plays favourites. It's not necessarily anything to do with her gender though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:51 AM
2

What does the rota have to do with anything? If you have a rotation then that should have nothing to do with who is performing well or not. Presumably the woman who you are complaining about has also worked over the holidays in previous years, when her turn has come up on the rota. No one wants to work over the holidays, that's the point of a rota.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/22 07:33 AM
1

Ok, but you don't mention anything in your profile about things that you might be able to do with a partner who is less active. People are going to assume that you would want to share the things you are passionate about with your partner... if that assumption isn't correct you need to include some additional info in your profile about your less active hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 02:09 PM
2

I doubt it was just about the chicken. If he's very rigid about his diet I can 100% understand why that would be a deal breaker. I have a couple or friends who are really into body building and they have very bland boring diets (basically just rotating through a very small number of meals like steamed broccoli, salmon or chicken and rice) in order to closely track their calories. That just wouldn't work for me - I really enjoy food (and carbs in particular!) and I enjoy sharing meal times with m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/22 11:00 AM
2

I'm confused as to why reduced sexual arousal would be a relevant effect in a workplace? Presumably the effect is only temporary, otherwise children crying in front of each other would render the population infertile. I also again point you to the fact that your study did not specify whether women were crying in front of other people. If the women are crying privately and wipe away their tears, men would not be able to smell it, and therefore no effect. Thus, a woman would need a family of 13.6 …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 05:06 PM
2

We know nothing from those stats about what prompted the crying, or whether it affected their colleagues at all, whereas being constantly interrupted has a very obvious affect on the person trying to get their point across. Are you seriously suggesting that someone crying at work because of, for example, a death in the family would be considered to be behaving badly, whether they are male or female? I generally think that people crying at work is unprofessional, but it's often associated with ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 04:22 PM
1

I still don't understand what your point is. Since when is crying misbehaving? I also didn't suggest that it is men's fault that women are more likely to cry at work, that's your assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 03:53 PM
2

Where did the survey say that they were crying at work in front of men? If your colleagues are regularly breaking down crying in the middle of the office it suggests your workplace is pretty toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 02:59 PM
2

I don't understand the relevance.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 02:45 PM
12

men speak over each other and bust each other’s balls all the time. Men do not interrupt each other as much as they interrupt women: Research studying why men routinely interrupt women goes back as early as 1975, with a study conducted by Don Zimmerman and Candace West at UC Santa Barbara, where they found that out of 31 observed mixed-sex conversations, men were responsible for 47 of the 48 interruptions that took place. A 2014 study from George Washington University found that men were 33% mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 10:26 PM
2

So what do men think is going to happen if they don't use protection? Just because they aren't the one who had the procedure doesn't mean that they didn't have any involvement in the decision or that they don't have any responsibility for preventing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 06:10 AM
0

Tell that to all the women who use it as birth control And what about their male partners? If they are not using a condom and don't ask the woman if they're on birth control then they are just as guilty of using abortion as contraception.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 04:15 PM
2

You're the one who replied to me, so thanks for your opinion. Believe it or not I was trying to help the guy I was replying to. Men having standards doesn't upset me, I'm married so it doesn't affect me in any way as my dating days are over. I'm just confused as to why this particular standard seems to be so important to the dude I was replying to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 10:36 PM
5

I'd like to see these comments from women who say that they always have sex on a first date if they are attracted to the guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:44 PM
4

Of course, but everyone is different. Some people use sex as a stress release (in which case, ironically they might not be into you then either because anyone would do!), others lose their libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:35 PM
4

What have you seen with your own eyes? And what personal attack? I'm wishing you good luck because I think you'll need it, because as I already explained women may have any number of reasons why they don't want to have sex on a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:29 PM
1

If you say so
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:28 PM
1

I never said anything about waiting months on end. The guy I replied to above was talking about sex on a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:25 PM
2

So, go on a second date or maybe a third before you write them off? The guy I replied to above said that if a woman doesn't have sex on the first date that they are not attracted. I'm saying that everyone has off days and it's dumb to read into someone having sex on the first date with some people and not others. I do agree though that most women wouldn't wait 3 months if they're attracted (unless they're religious I guess, but I assume they wouldn't be dating if that were the case).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:24 PM
4

whether a woman wants to fuck on a given day is primarily about the sexual attractiveness of the man presenting himself to her No it is not. A good date doesn't just cancel out everything else if you've had a shitty day. I don't think we're going to agree on this. I wish you luck in finding a woman who will fuck you on a first date.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:20 PM
3

I don't agree. Like I said, a lot of other things affect whether you feel sexy or not on a given day. Doesn't matter how attractive the guy is, if you're not feeling it that day you're just not. Why is it so hard for you to understand that whether a woman wants to have sex on a given day is less about how she feels about you and more about her? You can feel very differently about a person from one day to the next just due to hormones or stress.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:07 PM
1

80% of the women who make guys wait or 80% of women? I really don't think it's a large percentage of women who make a guy wait to have sex nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 09:00 PM
2

I'm not telling you what criteria you should use, I'm just telling you that the criteria you're using is going to massively hinder you in dating. I do agree that a woman will likely have sex pretty early on if she likes the dude but saying that is has to be the first date just because she has had sex on a first date before is very rigid and completely ignores any other context that might impact whether or not she wants to have sex that day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 08:56 PM
1

Maybe there are, but I don't think it's anywhere near as common as guys on here seem to think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 08:52 PM
4

I don't agree that you should conclude that she isn't into you just because she didn't want to have sex that day. Enjoy staying single if that's your criteria. I also don't know how you know whether a woman has had sex with a guy on a first date before, do people put that on tinder bios now?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 08:09 PM
7

No, sex drives are tied to emotional wellbeing. You can't know every stressor you're going to have in advance - you might think you were going to have a quiet day at work and then all hell broke loose, or have an argument with a friend. In those circumstances you might still be up for a getting to know you drink (or feel like it would be rude to cancel at the last minute so go anyway) but just not be feeling sexy. And about scheduling dates around periods etc., life shouldnt stop just because of…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 07:52 PM
11

There could be many reasons why she wouldn't sleep with you on a first date when she has with someone else that have absolutely nothing to do with you - she might be on her period, have PMS, an early meeting the next day, under a lot of stress, feeling a bit under the weather or just not feeling horny that day. It's really weird that this is what you're focusing on and that you consider whether she has sex with you on the first date to be a 'price'.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 07:28 PM
1

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 07:23 PM
2

Lots of things I do are for me. Many people go to the gym to lose weight or tone up and these are good too, but I go to the gym because the exercise gives me endorphins and it gets me out of the house which both help massively with my mental health. I don't think it comes much more clear cut as a benefit to oneself than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 05:43 PM
4

Not if you do those things for yourself rather than just to get a girlfriend. By increasing your 'value' you'll also have increased self-esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:41 AM
2

Single men don't benefit from infrastructure or taxes? You don't go to the doctor or use the services of anyone educated? You don't need roads or railways or hospitals or police or national defence?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:15 AM
2

Exactly, most students are in the same boat of having no money, living off student loans etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 08:03 AM
1

Who has time to speak to 25 men at the same time? If you speak to 3 men and you click with one then why would you bother with the rest?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 07:45 AM
1

That's why its important to date within your earnings bracket. You'd be missing out on lots of potentially great partners that way. Personally I find it far more important to be with someone with similar life goals than a similar income. And who is to say that someone in your income bracket now will stay there? Either of you might inherit money or get a promotion or a new job and then what? Can you both only ever accept a promotion at the same time? Do you give the inheritance to charity even th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 05:23 PM
1

I've been with my husband for 15 years and no we haven't had any such disagreements where we haven't been able to resolve it to both of our satisfaction. I put that down to ensuring that we had compatible views on the important things (religion, politics, finance, lifestyle/life goals etc.) before the relationship progressed to be serious. Before him I had relationships where we had those discussions, realised that there were some things we would always disagree on and decided to break up. We we…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 05:12 PM
3

Why does anyone have to be "in charge"? My husband and I both check in with the other and discuss major decisions, whether those be financial, health, life goals, whatever. Neither overrules the other. We're on the same page with most things, but if we do disagree we talk it out. I can't imagine either myself or my husband ever dismissing each others opinion just because of who makes what money. It's a case of basic respect. Why would who makes the most money of all things be the most important …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 04:01 PM
2

If you insist of splitting everything 50/50 with a partner when there is a massive discrepancy in your incomes then you need to make sure that your joint spending stays within what they can comfortably afford and still have a little bit of disposable income for themself. So if you want her to move into your place and she can't afford her half of the rent then she wouldn't be able to move to your place and your other options would be: 1. Don't move in together at all, 2. you move to her place, 3.…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/21 02:53 PM
1

It's not that I need to have an orgasm every time, it's that if you're close and just can't get there it is very frustrating. Knowing that you can use a vibrator takes the pressure off. I guess it's kind of similar to guys with ED, if you get in your head too much it makes it worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 06:36 PM
1

My point was that feminism isn't really about fixing issues at this point as shown by the fact that things like the wealth gap are centered by the movement while being proven to be almost nonexistent. Clearly some feminists don't agree that the wealth gap is nearly non-existent otherwise they wouldn't be talking about it. From what I have seen, it has mainly focused on raising awareness rather than campaigning as such; encouraging women to invest in stocks and shares ISAs rather than cash ISAs, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 07:45 PM
1

And if you had a job in an office you'd know nobody goes by those standards in real life office buildings. I literally talked about my own office in my response to you. I think your office environments have been pretty modern if you are personally able to adjust your office temperature - like I said, usually building management is in charge of this. Maybe the US has more modern buildings than the UK (where I am), but no office that I have ever worked in has had a thermostat that could be adjuste…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 06:42 PM
1

This isn't true... Like huh? Yes, it is. If you bothered to read those articles rather than just raging at the headlines you would know that current air conditioning standards are derived from research conducted in the 1960s that assessed the “thermal comfort” taking into account a value for metabolic rate, which was based on the resting metabolic rate of one 70 kilogram (11 stone) 40-year-old man. https://www.nature.com/articles/nclimate2741 No. This isn't a thing. Usually the top person in the…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 05:53 PM
1

BUT HOW???? Air con temperature is relevant for the exact same reason that seat belt design is relevant- no one took women into consideration in the design/programming because men are the default. They researched comfortable temp for men and no one thought to wonder whether that was comfortable for women too. I agree that the air con isn't worth further discussion because it is generally easier to warm up than in is to cool down, but it does fit with the general pattern. Btw I have female collea…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 03:21 PM
1

I mean, it's part of a wider context around little consideration given to women's comfort. In that sense I do think it's relevant, but it's a silly example because there isn't a way for both genders to be comfortable in this case. It's telling that feminists fight for nonsense like air conditioning and not those issues Really? If you work in an office are they really having discussions amongst the executive board about what temperature to have the air con at? Have you ever seen a protest about i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:56 PM
1

If you're talking about women in general then it makes sense to focus on the middle of the road feminist ideology as the more extreme branches of feminism (radical feminists) are very much a minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 01:32 PM
2

Where was the personal attack?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:57 AM
-1

The point of the air conditioning example was to show that men are the default for everything. I do think that air conditioning is a silly example. If there is no way to keep both groups comfortable it makes sense to prioritise the warmer group as it is more difficult to cool down whereas the colder group can generally put on another layer... Nonetheless, whether deliberate or not, and whether it is the right decision or not in this case, men's comfort is being prioritised over women's. IMO ther…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/21 11:22 AM
2

sorry, we're irreconcilably incompatible. What a shame. Ok, so sex toys and porn can be addictive? So can anything. You're of course entitled to only be interested in the top whatever percent of 'pussy', it just sounds to me like you're largely going to be disappointed. And in that case, I hope you don't spend your time complaining about how there are no women out there who meet your standards, because frankly your standards are completely unrealistic for the vast majority of women. You have a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 06:10 AM
2

The man is entirely superfluous. I guess so if sex is only about an orgasm. I could equally say that women are entirely superfluous too for men given that many men can being themselves to orgasm much more quickly than the time taken to have sex with their female partners. But for many women, sex is also a way to connect with our partners. I am not aroused on it's own by a vibrator, so I rarely use it on my own (and even then it's usually as a form of stress relief when my partner is away for wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 05:58 AM
2

Sure 1 in 5 women might not sound that low but surely you have other criteria also such as age, looks, intelligence? And then of course you might not meet their standards. Of course you're welcome to your own standards, this just seems like an odd hill to die on given that it's so common. And I just don't see what the issue is - many couples use sex toys together and many watch porn together. I don't see why either would be a deal breaker as long as they aren't interfering in your relationship w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:21 PM
2

I just don't see why it is a 'bad choice'? The only way it is harmful is if it comes between two partners, e.g. through addiction - which applies to both sex toys and porn. Both are generally fine in moderation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:14 PM
2

I mean, women enjoy sex with their partners. Sex is intimacy, even if women don't orgasm directly from PIV alone. And if a vibrator helps the woman to orgasm with her partner what is the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 08:06 PM
1

No, but even with hands/tongue it can take a very long time for some women to orgasm, and many men are not willing to regularly put in the time/effort needed to get a woman to climax without a toy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 07:22 PM
3

You might 'be down', but unfortunately many male partners do not regularly put this amount of time/effort into ensuring that their female partners orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:25 PM
3

Only 18 percent of women say that vaginal penetration alone is enough to orgasm (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530). If their partner is skilled with their hands or tongue (and happy to put the time in until she orgasms even if his hand or tongue start cramping) then sex toys may not be necessary, but even with the most experienced guys, sometimes a partner just can't get you there... you're massively limiting the number of women you would be with if you only want…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:15 PM
3

It's not only some women... Only 18 percent of women say that vaginal penetration alone is enough to orgasm (https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/0092623X.2017.1346530). If their partner is skilled with their hands or tongue (and happy to put the time in until she orgasms even if his hand or tongue start cramping) then sex toys may not be necessary, but even with the most experienced guys, sometimes a partner just can't get you there...
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 06:10 PM
0

The fact is that a significant proportion of women cannot orgasm through PIV sex alone. For me it would be an issue if my partner asked me not to use toys during sex, because I would be left unsatisfied a lot of the time. Most women aren't unable to orgasm from PIV sex because they have desensitised themselves, it's just the way they are. If they have desensitised themself, to the detriment of their sex life with their partner, then I think that is just as bad as a man overusing porn. No, men do…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/21 05:59 PM
1

Your stance is the one that is claiming water flows uphill. The majority of the population is likely to partner with someone of similar age. Social circles generally include peers of similar ages and we are generally attracted to others who are similar (e.g. in terms of interests and values). You are correct that most men marry women younger than they are, but the age difference is certainly not considered to be a large age-gap. The difference being between two and three years in Spain, the UK r…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 06:10 PM
1

I think you see this everywhere because you think it's common. Have you never heard of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon (a.k.a. the Recency Bias or Frequency Illusion)? Where are your actual statistics?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:35 PM
1

Where are these statistics that show that age gaps are common? I'm not about to take a song as evidence that this is common ffs. There are also songs about murder, suicide etc as well which are rare events.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:28 PM
1

I literally said I was talking about my own experience. Most of my friends are with people they met through uni, often through the same course or halls of accommodation (so again within a year or two of each other in age). A few of my friends met their partners through online dating and the age gap is max three years between each of them. I only know one person personally who has more of a gap than that with her partner, and that has been her pattern with every boyfriend she ever had. Perhaps it…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 05:20 PM
1

This might be true as teenagers (I know I found guys my age incredibly immature until I hit late teens early twenties, which explains why you heard it so much growing up), but I don't think it holds for the majority of the adult population. Even though most guys my age were immature I did manage to date guys who were within a year or two of my own age and reasonably mature. Literally everyone I've ever dated (and my husband now), has been within a year or two of my own age - in fact my husband i…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 05:30 PM
0

The research into the effect of gender is mixed, as per my second link. Your example is an anecdote and not backed up by data.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 07:30 PM
3

This is a studied phenomenon that affects both men and women, known as the bystander effect or bystander apathy: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-social-thinker/200911/why-do-we-help-less-when-there-is-crowd%3famp Gender may have an effect on bystander intervention, but research results are mixed with some research showing that individually males were more helpful in high-severity situations, while women tended to be more helpful in low-severity situations. Other …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 06:46 PM
5

Perhaps try going out with women you have something in common with?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 05:20 PM
2

men reporting their side effects is always attacked that men can't handle the side effects. You may see it as an attack, but nonetheless it is a double standard that the male birth control options have been discontinued over very similar side effects to female. I understand that the men didn't have any say in whether it went to market or not, that's why I pointed out that 75% of the men would have continued to take it. Regarding the suicides, it is impossible to know whether the contraception co…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/21 06:22 AM
8

I'm a bit confused as to how it's just the woman's fuck up if she needs the morning after pill. If the condom breaks or whatever surely that is a joint fuck up? Oh and by the way, emergency contraception is only effective if taken before ovulation. Unfortunately the morning after pill doesn't always save the day. The copper coil is the only emergency contraceptive that can still be effective if you have ovulated. I 100% agree that men need more contraceptive options. Currently women are forced t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:15 PM
4

Umm actually feminists support the production of male contraceptives as this will allow couples to share side-effects and responsibilities equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 09:02 PM
16

'Such bad' side effects included acne, mood swings, headaches, reduced libido, weight gain. The exact same side effects that women also complain about with regard to the methods of contraception available to them. The methods tested passed safety tests, yet these side effects, which are described as mild when it comes to birth control options for women, apparently weren't acceptable. Same when trialling the male contraceptive injection. This despite 75% of the participants in the study saying th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:52 PM
2

'With your kind'?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 04:15 AM
1

Our main attention is being placed on the aggressive, sadistic, and predatory parts of masculinity because of efforts to reduce sexual crimes against women. We can't reduce the rate of sexual assault against women without trying to change the behaviour of the men who commit sexual assault. And whilst only a small proportion of men actually sexually assault women, the environment of objectification etc that we all exist causes and reinforces sexual harassment and assault. It's kind of sad that yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 02:25 PM
1

Many people, feminist or not, think it's inappropriate. Just like it's inappropriate to discuss 'white' issues on a forum related to black rights. Where exactly are women weighing in about male sexuality? I'm talking about issues of rights and equality here, not just 'what do guys like in bed', which is very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 09:01 AM
3

so you'll start seeing more and more women sorting their own roadside issues. Or it could just be that fewer men have such skills anymore. Very few people I know of either gender would know what to do if their car broke down. But I don't really see that as a problem - why should men be expected to know how to fix a car or put up some shelves just because they are male? If they're not interested in it and happy to pay someone else to do it then what is the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 07:59 AM
1

Men usually get 'silenced' because they are choosing inappropriate forums to air their issues. Whenever I consume any media on issues related to women's reproductive health or reproductive rights, such as abortion or even something as 'uncontroversial' as period poverty, there are always men weighing in on matters they know nothing about (such as the guy who asked why women don't just hold the blood in, or another who wildly misunderestimated how many tampons a women needs for the average period…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/21 07:36 AM
2

What was wrong with the alternative that we used to have, which consisted of massive social disapproval of pre-marital and extra-marital sex? The disapproval against pre-marital sex was only ever strictly applied to women. That was the problem with the 'good old days'. And I think it's very important that people have sex (and live together) before becoming financially entangled and/or committing to spending the rest of their lives together. Sexual compatibility is a really big deal in most relat…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 06:50 PM
2

I think it makes perfect sense that the number of people you would want to see again would stay similar no matter how large the pool... you can't date everyone simultaneously, so why wouldn't you narrow it down to the best ones? If you're dating looking for a long-term partner then I think 3 or 4 dates a week is the max most people would want to do if working full-time and have family/friends that you would like to see regularly as well. Surely (men) are just wasting people's time if they agree …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 06:32 PM
1

No, not really. This may come as a shock to you, but most women are sexually selfish just as men. How would you know when you are not a generous lover yourself? The fact that you apparently only get pleasure from penetration or blow jobs strongly suggests that you are not a generous lover. If you were, you would appreciate other types of sex. If the woman does not enjoy penetration And I'm telling you that very few women do not enjoy penetration at all (or if they do they might have a condition …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/21 09:59 AM
1

Dick size is a very small part of sexual compatibility. If a woman finds your dick too small but you ensure that she is sexually satisfied then she is likely to make efforts to ensure that you do too. As I said before, the majority of women do not orgasm through penetration alone, so size is not important as to whether a woman enjoys penetrative sex, except where the guy really is very different to the average. How am I supposed to have any sexual pleasure if not through penetration? Many women …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 11:58 PM
1

So the majority of men are too ugly to get their partners to orgasm from vaginal penetration? Stop trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 07:25 AM
1

I don't get the point of your anecdote. Are you trying to say that people only hang around with you because you have money? If that's a problem for you then why would you lend/give people money? If you take money out of the equation then you know that your relationships are genuine. I just don't get how your comment is relevant to the original post. I also wouldn't hang out or want to date the kind of person who hangs out with a d*ck just because they have money. There is no shortage of people w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 07:59 PM
0

Unless you are significantly different from the average I wouldn't consider it very important at all. Men think PIV sex is the be all and end all, but the majority of women cannot orgasm from penetrative sex alone. So whatever the size of penis, foreplay, oral sex, and other sexual acts are really important in ensuring a woman is sexually satisfied. I agree that most women don't like having our cervix pounded. The cervix actually moves position throughout the monthly cycle (higher during ovulati…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 01:17 PM
2

What? I have never borrowed money from a friend to buy another friend a gift. The thought hasn't even occurred to me. Everyone I know buys gifts that are within their budget. Borrowing money to buy a gift makes it seem less thoughtful to me - like you knew my birthday was coming up but rather than save up to buy me something you bought yourself those trainers you don't actually need so had to borrow money from a friend? Yeah that would make me feel really special /s. And I personally avoid wealt…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 01:04 AM
3

As a woman I certainly wouldn't put penis size in the top 5. In my experience men with larger penises have been worse in bed - I assume they think that because they have a larger penis they can put in less effort. Caring about whether your sexual partner is enjoying themself is the most important factor in good sex IMO. And good sex is important to me in a partner, both short term and long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 12:27 AM
1

Well no, less people doesn't necessarily mean more prosperity; population growth and economic growth are positively related. And in the context of global warming we are likely to see more and more environmental disasters which will have severe socio-economic impacts. Some may be more well off and choose to consume more with that additional income, however there is a minimum amount of consumption that each individual needs in order to survive, so the more humans there are the larger that minimum …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 08:13 PM
1

Reduce the footprint per person enough and you're no longer overpopulated. So you concur that we are overpopulated? Until we find a way to dramatically reduce resource usage we will remain overpopulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 04:13 PM
1

I literally just quoted the definition of overpopulation, your argument is with Merriam-Webster.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 03:14 PM
1

You're saying that we're not overpopulated, whilst at the same time acknowledging that we're over-using energy/resources. Merriam-Webster defines overpopulation as "the condition of having a population so dense as to cause environmental deterioration, an impaired quality of life, or a population crash". With the effects of global warming already being felt, we're already experiencing environmental deterioration, and therefore by this definition the earth is already overpopulated.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 02:27 PM
1

Population growth might be slowing but that doesn't mean that it is sustainable for the environment etc. even at a lower level. He lists Climate Change as one of his top 5 things to be worried about in his book 'Factfulness', pointing out that as billions are lifted out of poverty by improvements in health, education, and infrastructure, their energy use goes up dramatically. Current levels of energy use are concerning, and therefore any increase in the population is problematic, particularly in…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 01:14 PM
1

We're overpopulated not because women in Bangladesh are having too many kids but because people are living longer. You link to a Hans Rosling video, but I'm not sure what your point is because Hans Rosling was absolutely concerned about overpopulation, but he argued that the way to reduce it was to improve child mortality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/21 07:04 AM
1

You're either incredibly obtuse or deliberately trying to misunderstand what I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 08:46 AM
1

I said men need to do more housework if women are to be able to do more of other kinds of work - your previous posts implied that women should be taking on tiling etc without a reduction in their housework. Women doing more tiling etc would mean that men would pick up the slack in housework but do less tiling. You're deliberately trying to frame this as me arguing for women doing less hours of work than men when I am not - I'm arguing that men and women should be (and mostly are) doing equal num…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 08:07 AM
1

I have never said that women are overworked, I have been pointing out the disparity in types of labour and saying that nothing will change unless men are willing to do more housework. I'm done debating with you if you refuse to acknowledge any of the complexities of the gender dynamics around labour.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 07:30 AM
1

You provided evidence of what men and women currently carry out in terms of work yes, but nothing about women's motivations for doing more housework, or men's motivations for doing less for that matter. You are claiming repeatedly that women aren't interested in tiling/car maintenance etc. but have given no concrete evidence that women are not interested in it, just that men currently do more of it. I didn't respond to all of your points in your last message because at this point I don't think y…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 07:05 AM
1

No... you just keep making baseless and previously disproven statements, so I skipped those because it's already been covered. Clearly I don't agree that you've disproven them otherwise I wouldn't be responding. For example I think most people would agree that an experience from presumably decades ago with your kid sister as your only evidence that grown women don't want to learn skills such as car maintenance is pretty poor evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 06:25 AM
1

How are women supposed to find the time to learn a new skill such as tiling when they're doing more than their fair share of housework? Again, if you read the link instead of repeating the myth that 'women do all the work', you'd see that women spend no more time than men working. I did read the link. I didn't say women do more work, I said that they do more than their fair of the housework. And if you want to learn new skills such as tiling, that time needs to be made for that. Unfortunately, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/21 05:51 AM
1

Do you put the clothes away afterwards or do the ironing? Yes. And what about the cleaning up/washing up after cooking and the grocery shopping? You didn't answer that one. I know far more people that pay for car mechanics, plumbers, roofers, floor/tile installation, and general round-the-house work than for maid services. Well duh, those are skilled services, of course most people are going to pay a professional to do at least some of those. I don't know a single person, male or female, who kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 06:24 PM
2

It's not like I can't cook, clean, or throw laundry in the washing machine. It's trivial and takes no time. The way this is phrased makes it sound like you can but don't. It's not the same to just throw on a single load of laundry or cook the odd meal versus the day in day out grind of doing them every day without fail. And you mention nothing of the other tasks that accompany these things. Maybe you do the cooking but you use every pot and pan and leave the kitchen in a mess for your partner to…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 08:32 AM
2

Heheh... Yeah, that's a euphemistic way of saying I'll fuck him if he buys me shit. No actually, it's not, that would be receiving gifts as a love language, and even that isn't about money/expensive things, it's about valuing thoughtful gifts that are tailored to them and their needs. Acts of service is about doing something for your partner that you know they would like, such as cooking them a meal. When you give Acts of Service, you give up your time. Equally, physical touch is about way more …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 06:11 AM
1

You were the one who suggested that women have too high standards, which certainly implies that her standards are not correct (and therefore men's must be): The neuroticwoman whose standards for what is clean is almost unrealistically high? So in the examples I gave earlier, which you didn't address at all by the way, those men who let their clothes go mouldy in the washing machine etc., those were all perfectly acceptable standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 05:21 AM
1

Without the perspective of the other women you have dated I can't add much more to this, although I do wonder whether you were just weren't understanding each others love languages, and whether if I asked them they might say that you didn't appreciate other things you did for them. I can't really picture what you mean by 'acting like such things were beneath her', that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship frankly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/21 05:13 AM
1

I know women are more likely to score highly on neuroticism, and also more meticulous (e.g. wash their hands thorougly), but that doesn't mean that women's standards are too high - it can equally mean that men's standards are too low. Just a few of the things I've had to explain to various male housemates over the years about housework: if you leave wet laundry in the machine for hours on end before you hang it out to dry, it's going to smell; that you need to empty the filters on the tumble dry…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 10:10 PM
1

What about the man-child who deliberately does a poor job so that he doesn't get asked again? I too can make silly generalisations. Do you really think that is a common scenario?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:44 PM
1

Who says women don't make romantic gestures? I might not buy my husband flowers, but then he has never shown anything other than indifference to flowers. I make romantic gestures that I know will appeal to him like cooking a favourite meal, buying some nice new underwear or pre-ordering a game that he's had his eye on. I have yet to meet a straight guy who would be thrilled at his wife buying him a pair of earrings (I have bought my husband cufflinks which I guess is the closest thing to jewelle…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:42 PM
1

If they're that simple then why not just do them (or any of the many other things on her to do list)?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:20 PM
2

Of course women engage in spontaneous romantic gestures. We might not buy our partners a bunch of flowers (my partner certainly has never expressed anything other than indifference to flowers), but I surprise him with his favourite meal, or some new underwear, or pre-order that game I know he's been desperate to get his hands on. Things that I know will be well received. In general (after quality time, which is most important to both sexes) women are more likely to prefer their partners to show …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 07:45 PM
1

I'm done debating with you. You're determined to see women as the cause of all that is wrong in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:17 PM
1

Dude you haven't even had time to read it before you replied. What is nonsense about it? So men haven't benefitted at all from (for example) feminist activists campaigning for women having access to abortions or changing the definition of rape to include men? I've just pointed to evidence that feminism has benefited men - what direct benefit is it to women that the definition of rape be extended to include men? Why would women campaign for that if they didn't care?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:07 PM
1

Why is crab bucket mentality bad? The Crab Mentality might produce an initial dose of positive feelings and dopamine for the person doing the pulling, but it's not a healthy strategy for long-term well-being. Downplaying or criticizing another person's success doesn't really lift you up, despite the short-term illusion of it doing so. Instead of lifting each other up, those with this mentality burrow further and further into their buckets, until everyone is too bitter and broken to ever climb ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:00 PM
1

But you haven't provided any evidence that strict monogamy would improve the economy, so again, how is it relevant? Which country are you talking about? What decade or century? You haven't said anything about any of the negatives of the time period (and still haven't specified which time/place was supposedly better for relationships). You can say x time was better for y but not for z and wasn't to get y back hopefully without z side effect. I'm not saying that you can't strive to emulate some as…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 05:28 PM
1

Ok so we're quibbling over a few % now... Is this still data from the GSS you're quoting? The figures on male virginity are questionable based on the actual question answered- the question actually asked was whether they had had a female sexual partner since they turned 18, therefore the figures will also include men who had sex prior to turning 18, or only slept with other men in that time, we just don't know how much of this group they make up. We also know that men in that age group are more …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 04:24 PM
1

But why are you bringing the economy up at all, how is it relevant? Where? When? What decade? You can't just hark back to some golden era as if all the other context of the time and place isn't important. I might as well say, well let's just get rid of the internet because we didn't have this problem before meeting people online was a thing. Everyone suffers if we outlaw the internet, but then the playing field would be more even so that's all that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:37 PM
1

Enforced where and how? Why bring the economy into it if you can't say anything about causation?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 09:18 AM
1

No, I just think the 80/20 rule is significantly exaggerated for a start. The men in that 20% would need to be having sex with several different partners every day to make that stack up. According to the GSS, the top 20% of the most sexually active never-married young men have about 50-60% of the sex. So you're right that sex is not equally distributed. However, it’s about the same for women, and these shares are basically stable over time. This isn't something that is unique to women - both sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 08:58 AM
0

Who says the women are unhappily single? Men and women are getting married later it is true, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. How are women getting more access to sex and relationships than men if the numbers of men and women are the same?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 07:17 AM
–

Ok, you can understand my confusion when they keep focusing on men not being allowed to use their 'strength', despite the fact that men benefit also from criminalising violence. I don't like the idea of a 'playing field' full stop when it comes to dating - it sounds transactional or like it's a game. Relationships shouldn't be about that, but the dudes on this thread seem to think like that. I still don't understand what needs to be leveled - there are roughly the same proportions of men and wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:52 AM
1

Which country are you talking about that was apparently some paradise for incels?! As far as I'm aware strict monogamy, as you defined it, has never been 'enforced' in the US or Europe. More common to marry young, yes, but then people also used to die much younger. And there has never been gender equality in the US or Europe, or are you just talking about this so called sexual advantage again and completely ignoring the context of inequality for women in the past? What has the economy got to do …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 06:31 AM
2

You mean like how women had to campaign for decades to get access to fair pay and education despite a lot of pushback from men (and some women). Things don't improve overnight, but going backwards doesn't help anyone. I fail to see how women being more picky than men about a mate is something that women are responsible for - the dynamic arises from the behaviour of both sexes. If men want to see change then they should start with their own behaviour.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:27 AM
1

I'm not seeing any bitterness against men in this thread?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:17 AM
1

I know right... I just don't get it, where does this bitterness against women come from?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:14 AM
1

Wow. So equality is the only thing that matters, you'd rather everyone be unhappy than keep things as they are because women currently 'have a better deal'? Seriously, look up crab bucket theory. Things are never going to improve if all you want to do is pull everyone else down to the same level.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:13 AM
1

So what if women's sex drive is lower. We still get urges, and if a suitable partner isn't around then we scratch that itch ourselves. Why would that be any different for men? That comparison is stupid. You can't control who you are attracted to but you can control your behaviour. If refraining from hitting on anything and everything is against men's biological instincts then marriage/monogamy is also against their biological instincts.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 01:03 AM
1

I didn't say men should be less horny, I said if men stopped hitting on anything and everything then the dynamic will change. You can be horny and take care of it yourself. Women do so too when required!
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:54 AM
1

Why should women lower their standards in a partner? If men started being more picky rather than just thinking with their d*ck then things would be on a more even footing. This isn't a problem that women are creating, it's a problem that men are creating by hitting on anyone and everyone. Just because men might have a higher sex drive doesn't mean they have to have sex with a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:49 AM
1

Ok, so it is about sex. I still don't understand what exactly is women's advantage? You seem to think that women have some sort of strategy or end game here. Women usually find it harder to orgasm from PIV sex, and along with the risk of pregnancy, std, the slutshaming, not to mention risk of sexual assault, it makes sense that they would be more picky than men as we have a lot more to lose.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:35 AM
1

Ok so if sex isn't the issue, what will strict monogamy fix other than just making it 'fair'? Both sexes would be more unhappy with such a situation. I think most men would agree with me that they would want to know someone (have sex, live together) before marrying them, so nothing to do with privilege.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:23 AM
1

So what is this comment about if it is not about men not being able to access sex whenever they want? You were talking about 'sexual marketplace dominance', so I assumed your suggestion of strict monogamy was to ensure that men had better access to sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:09 AM
1

So you want to remove womens rights to their bodily integrity in order to make things more fair? You seem to be assuming that forcing everyone to marry at 18 (strict monogamy) would ensure that more men would be having sex. But marrying someone doesn't guarantee you will have a good sex life - and personally I feel that it is a very good idea to have sex with someone and live with them for a little bit before committing to spending the rest of your life with them. Without the opportunity to get …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 12:05 AM
1

Not sure why me pointing out that strict monogamy sucks for both sexes would suggest that I don't care about equality, but to answer your question, no, I care about equity. Both equality and equity promote fairness, however equality achieves this through treating everyone the same regardless of need, while equity achieves this through treating people differently dependent on need.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:54 PM
1

Great crab bucket mentality right there. Men are suffering so let's drag women right down with us. I think a strict monogamous system would be worse for men than it is now. People in unhappy marriages don't tend to have a lot of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:33 PM
0

I mean, yeah I know what strict means, but strict monogamy isn't a phrase I've heard before (and google didn't help), is it an incel thing? To me you're either monogamous or you're not - you can't be a bit monogamous, so you can't be strictly monogamous either. Unless you're talking about a 'strict' punishment for a partner cheating, is that where it came from? How can you expect people to make a choice like that at 18?! Especially if you then have to live with that choice for the rest of your l…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:17 PM
1

Most long term relationships are already monogamous so what would you change exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 11:09 PM
1

Rightttt... so how would we take away this dominance exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 10:45 PM
1

What is this so-called strength of women that you are referring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 09:52 PM
–

If you use your strength on another person you can injure that person. It is of benefit to both men and women for violence to be criminalised - men are victims of violence too. What harm exactly are women doing to men?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:54 PM
7

Yes, because their advantage doesn't impinge on anyone else's rights. Your rights stop when the rights of others begin.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:22 PM
7

You might want to re-write this comment because without your other comment it sounds a little rapey...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 07:20 PM
2

What examples might you have of women in similar situations online being treated better than him on the internet? Women receive far more online abuse and harassment than men, so for every like or 'you go girl', there is a comment that she should cover up or that she is fat bitch. And believe me the criticism sticks with you far longer than a positive comment. Many women react to this by reducing their online presence. So perhaps you may see the confident ones posting, but there are many many oth…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:19 PM
3

Biological, cognitive, social, and environmental factors all contribute to influence self-esteem. There are many theories, and no definitive answers. But so what if there is a biological component, does that make women's lower self esteem any less important? Why shouldn't women offer each other encouragement in whatever format we choose? What exactly is your claim that praise towards women must have an impact on male mental health based on? If anything it is likely to affect female mental health…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:51 PM
1

Of course women care what happens to men. We have fathers, brothers, husbands, sons etc. and we want the male violence to stop for everyone's sake. If men stood against this violence with women, rather than arguing the toss about who is the real victim then perhaps the situation might change, but until men start to see that we are all victims of the patriarchy then both men and women will continue to suffer violence at the hands of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:30 PM
3

Can you not manage a basic google search? There are a gazillion references that come up when you google gender differences in self-esteem, it's not even specialist/technical terminology. But ok, I'll humour you... The self-esteem gap between men and women has been observed for decades. A relatively recent study which followed participants between 1999 and 2009 found that self-esteem tended to increase with age, from adolescence to adulthood, and that men at every age tended to have higher levels…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 06:11 PM
8

But women aren't swimming in validation/empowerment - there is a whole body of literature around the fact that men generally have higher self esteem than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:34 AM
0

Men are subjected to violence by other men not by women. What do you expect women to do about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/21 07:18 AM
1

They have exactly the same choice when it comes to adoption - both can veto the other. What's the problem if the woman hasn't told the man about the pregnancy, I thought your issue was about men being stuck paying maintenance for a child they didn't want?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 02:31 PM
1

I've just told you that terminating your parental rights is an option. Which is effectively the same outcome for the guy as an abortion or the kid being adopted as they sever all relationships, including financial. Also, you say that men have no power or choices but it's not like the mother can get the kid adopted without the father's say so - both parents need to consent to that. So father's absolutely get a say in whether the kid can be adopted, but neither parent can put their child up for ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 11:35 PM
1

Sigh. I already answered this. Ultimately the woman has the final say because it is her body. She is the one who would need to have the medical procedure (which for later stages is very invasive) and she is the one who would be carrying the baby for 9 months. Once that child is born, someone needs to provide for it - if not the father then the state will likely need to step in in some form. In some parts of America it is possible to terminate your parental rights, which means that you no longer …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 10:07 PM
1

...or you just force more vulnerable people into poverty. No contraception is 100% effective. I don't think that women should be punished because their contraception failed. The pill is less effective if you're on some antibiotics, or if you've had diarrhea. IUDs can become dislodged. So many things can go wrong. Basically any argument for why abortion should be legal applies here - accidents happen. And if the method of contraception used is a condom, arguably it is the guys fault if it fails, …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 08:34 PM
1

It's not off topic at all, it's just an extreme example to show that your suggestion isn't that simple. You seriously think that women are going to report rapes because of the prospect of not receiving child support? Only 40% are reported at the moment. That's a hell of a lot of potential children who are going to miss out on parental support because their mother was too traumatised to go to the police so they could fill out some paperwork. In another scenario, what if a couple didn't want to ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 08:06 PM
1

In this perfect world I guess rape doesn't exist huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 07:54 PM
1

Ffs we're back to baby trapping... Until science develops to the point that a baby doesn't need to grow in a woman, men aren't going to get the final vote on whether a woman keeps the baby. In a healthy relationship I think that both parties should discuss it, but ultimately it is her choice. I agree it's not fair but you cannot violate a woman's bodily autonomy just because you disagree on whether a child is wanted or not. Once that child is here, it is not fair on the child to suffer financial…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 07:23 PM
1

I literally just said that both men and women can be horrible. All I have been doing is correcting your repeated insinuations that all women are baby-trappers or gold-diggers. You are the one disparaging a whole gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 06:53 PM
1

Dude there's obviously no reasoning with you. I've said multiple times that I'm sure this behaviour goes on but it's not representative of the general female population. I couldn't read the entire article above as it's behind a paywall so I just read the abstract, but it didn't contain any information about their sample size or how they selected participants. Doesn't mention their age - could be related to lack of maturity. It also doesn't make any comparisons to men so it is completely unclear …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 06:31 PM
1

I can't believe this needs saying but subs on reddit (or anything on social media in general) are not representative of the general population, and especially not any of those toxic subs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 05:49 PM
1

I wouldn't care if men didn't want to marry women because they're not financially attractive. Why do men always go 'imagine if the genders were reversed'. What would there be to scream in outrage about? I also don't care that you hid the fact that you've been snipped- I don't think it's conducive to trust in a relationship, but that's your choice. I do have a problem with you taking your experience with women you've dated and extrapolating that to all women. I'm sure there are women out there wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 04:29 PM
1

I can't express how offensive it is to say that women see men as a means to a lifestyle. The idea that a mother would break up her family just because she thinks she can do better is ridiculous. For a start it's not easy to meet a new partner when you have kids. And you didn't address any of my points about women being unhappy in their marriages, you've just jumped straight back to 'women are leaving because they found a richer guy'. When a woman has a bump in pay perhaps she is finally in a pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 02:22 PM
1

Of course he still has to pay for his kids (although unfortunately many don't). Every parent has a responsibility to pay toward their child's upkeep. The custodial parent may not need to move out (although often they do in order to split the assets aka the house in the divorce), but they are also paying towards their kids, and if they are doing round the clock childcare (and therefore unable to work) then they are saving their partner a fortune in paid childcare whilst being unable to pay her ow…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 12:31 PM
1

I just told you why women get custody the majority of the time. You're presenting it as women screwing over men, when women getting custody is almost always a natural continuation of the caregiving they have provided their child with before the divorce. Men are screwing themselves over by not being as involved as they should be in their children's lives before the divorce. The assumption that is made (and it seems pretty reasonable to me) is that the primary caregiver is best placed to continue …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 11:50 AM
1

I mean the studies in question that include clothes shopping - the ones I have seen do not specifically mention it. I was asking you to point to a study that does consider it to be part of the labour. It's interesting because I wouldn't have thought to include it. Ok so you have a personal preference for occupations aside from manual labour. You didn't answer my question - do you therefore deserve more leisure time than your partner who does not do manual labour?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 11:23 AM
1

You should do a little research about the topic rather than just parroting 'mens rights' propaganda. I'm sure there are some fathers who have a difficult time getting custody from the courts. However the majority of child custody cases are not decided by the courts. Analysis of the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG) shows that in cases where parents decided custody without involvement of courts or a mediator, in 83% of the cases the mother ended up with custody because the father chose to g…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 09:47 AM
2

There is nothing stopping men from applying for 50/50 custody. Mothers tend to have custody because the vast majority of fathers choose to give them custody. When men actually apply for shared custody their odds are very good. All of the divorces I've witnessed the parents have ended up selling the house and splitting the money so not sure where you're getting that she gets to keep the house. Also keeping the house is not necessarily wholly a good thing for the mother who likely has considerably…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 06:08 AM
1

If so then why not find some evidence then? I doubt very many marriages are ending because of abuse. Women who work full-time now expect their partners to pull their weight with housework and childcare, and when they don't it builds resentment. The divorces I have witnessed have been a long time coming - the women have nagged for years at their partners, that they don't help with the kids enough, they always have to ask them to pick up their socks, etc. The trouble is that men never seem to take…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/21 12:25 AM
1

So because the guy is doing manual labour he should get more leisure time? Standing on your feet all day as a shop assistant or waitress may not involve any heavy lifting but it is still tiring, not to mention emotionally exhausting given the abuse they are often subjected to in the service sector. Whatever the industry, partners should have equitable downtime. With regard to the clothes shopping, I would like to see the studies in question. I can imagine some weeks I do spend several hours shop…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 11:31 PM
2

What about actual stats. Ever heard of confirmation bias?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 11:23 PM
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