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View 3 posts and 67 comments by kls1042 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
65

kls1042/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 02:19 PM
31

kls1042/r/Divorce_Men27/11/21 03:52 AM
7

kls1042/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 03:46 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

If you are in Travis county, it's actually not that hard to get 50/50 custody unless you get really unlucky with the judge or you have done some things they can hold against you. There are definitely areas of Texas where this is true. I've heard Williamson county is still pretty rough. I just filed for divorce last April and mine concluded 5 months later. We did mediation and generally had a very smooth process. It was the fastest I've heard anyone manage it. Feel free to DM me for more.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/22 02:33 AM
5

It was something I didn't think about at the time. I was so excited to get into my new place, and so caught up in the act of physically moving everything, that I didn't even stop to consider it. I was talking to a friend a couple days later and he said something like "man that must have been hard, leaving your marital home for the last 8 years". That was the first moment it had occurred to me. I thought for a minute, even feeling like I should have some sort of feeling like that... but nope. It …
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 05:40 PM
1

Sorry, I was going more by what is typical. In CA, alimony is sort of the "starting point" for most divorces and it's just a question of how long (as I understand it). In Texas, alimony is almost never awarded unless there are some extreme circumstances like a huge income discrepancy and proven abuse by the high earner. This is all just based on discussions I had with lawyers through my divorce, so I am sure YMMV depending on circumstances. When I brought it up, the lawyer would ask if I had abu…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 11:17 PM
1

It's definitely not a thing in Texas, unless there are extenuating circumstances, so it must have been Florida.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 04:53 PM
1

My Thanksgiving was really good and I hope yours was as well. I'm sorry your process is so brutal, but hopefully things will smooth out soon. I agree the online support has been amazing, more than I could have imagined.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 02:04 PM
1

I try to be very positive about it and make sure they understand it's okay to like him and they don't have to feel any specific way for either of us.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/21 07:03 AM
5

I went through something very similar. She told me she wasn't in love with me anymore, but "no there is no one else". A couple weeks later I finally checked the phone plan and saw that she had exchanged 18000 text messages with her old high school flame every month for the last 3 months. 600 per day! When I asked her about it, "He is just my emotional support". Then I found the love letter she had written to him a month before. It was only an emotional affair at that point, so I gave her an ulti…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 01:40 PM
1

I was the same way. Melatonin helped slightly, but when my doctor prescribed Trazodone, that made all the difference. It's also a mild-antidepressant but it is mainly used as a sleep aid these days because it is non-habit forming. You could also take benadryl in the short term. It is also non-addictive and will help you sleep. Just buy the generic.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 01:18 PM
6

The law varies from place to place, but in TX and inheritance is not community property unless you re-purpose it to something that is. For instance, if you inherit $300K and then make that a down payment on a vacation property, I think you have made it community property. If you inherit that property and get divorced a year later with the property still intact, I don't think it is considered community.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/21 03:20 PM
2

I have stayed in the house through the whole thing. I filed in mid-April and the divorce was final last Wednesday. She is keeping the house but I have a little over 60 days to get out at this point. She spends nearly all her time with her boyfriend so I don't really have to deal with her at all, which is surprisingly nice.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/21 05:09 AM
5

Get a paternity test.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/21 12:26 AM
1

Mine was final 3 days ago. I wouldn't take it back. I still find myself sad about where my life is at this point. I had achieved all my life goals before turning 40. Now I am hitting reset. I still have two great kids, and I have the cash to buy a house, so I have a lot less to complain about than 90% of the other guys going through divorce. I still wonder if I am ready to start dating, or if I will be in a year, or in five years. Only time will tell.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:20 AM
3

Man, some people are so out of touch. She actually thought that was freaking reasonable... I love it!
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:13 AM
4

Dude, that is fantastic. Thank you Plenty of Fish!
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:12 AM
5

Damn this resonates so much with me right now. My ex keeps demonstrating repeatedly that her new boyfriend is more important than her kids. My daughter was struggling with raw skin tonight that was stinging from a scrape she got yesterday and we weren't sure what to do about it. She wanted to call her mom who is a physician assistant, so we did, 3 times. She wouldn't answer. No call back, nothing. It actually makes me perversely happy because it will probably make my daughter less likely to want…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:09 AM
2

Well said!
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 01:46 PM
1

Very cheap. There are people that have done it for practically nothing by filing on their own. I would not advise that if you have kids or if there is any disagreement at all about how to divide your assets.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 01:26 PM
2

My company has an Employee Assistance Program that makes legal referrals. You get a free consultation and 30% off their standard rate. It worked out well in my case where it was not a very contentious divorce. I mainly just needed someone to guide me through the motions and draft the documents.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 01:25 PM
3

For me it was a combination of things. The support from this community was amazing, Just being able to see what others were going through and getting advice from active folks like you that have shared their own experiences. Finding some friends and coworkers that were willing to listen any time I needed it was tremendous. I am talking to a therapist weekly as well. I also started doing simple exercises at home (running, pushups, dumbbell curls and rows) and that helped manage my anger and frustr…
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 12:41 PM
3

I can absolutely believe this. Luckily in my case, things weren't too contentious. I am certain my lawyer was far from the best I could have used, but she was cheap ($180/hr after my corporate discount). I put in a $2500 retainer 4 months ago. My divorce was finalized yesterday and I still have not had to add to that retainer. It also helps that my wife's lawyer, while slightly more expensive at $300/hr, was even worse.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 03:39 AM
1

I am not a lawyer but here is my understanding from what I heave heard and/or read... Obviously, the biggest advantage is that your kids get equal access to their parents. Unless one of you has some serious issues (abusive, drug or alcohol addiction), this should be in the best interest for the kids since studies have shown that kids do better when both parents are actively involved. Getting a change in custody after the initial decree is also much more difficult from what I have heard. Get acce…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/21 01:56 PM
8

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this man. Please know that there are better times ahead. You are sacrificing and doing what needs to be done for that little girl to have the life she deserves. Focus on your daughter and all the good things you have with her. Ignore your stbx other than to get your divorce finalized. She has made her choices. You just need to get the practical things done to move on. She isn't worth the energy you are putting into hating her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/21 02:27 PM
1

Your best bet will be to get in mediation and get her to agree to 50/50 there. If you are in the Travis county area, feel free to DM me and I might make some recommendations.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 08:26 PM
1

I would agree with your sentiment in general from what I have read/heard in much of the US and rest of world, except for the fact that he is in TX. I am also in TX and my experience with my local fellows is that it is still very much a roll of the dice. You might get a forward thinking judge that is open to 50/50, or you might get a judge that just assigns the standard order and child support even though you were the primary child caretaker since they were born. I was within one day a month of 5…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 08:23 PM
3

My doctor prescribed Trazodone. It's supposedly mild anti-depressant, but mainly it's a sleep aid. Non habit forming and cheap, at least with my insurance.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 03:44 AM
1

I desire to have what I had with my wife a few years ago, when we were happy. I'm not sure you have to be married to get that though. I'm honestly not sure if I would get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 01:18 PM
1

You can and should take half. If you can't discuss it and agree on pieces she wants and you want, then just take what feels appropriate if you think you can be reasonable about it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 02:59 AM
2

Money was not an issue for us at all, thankfully. Her desire to be with her high school crush that got divorced last year... ya that was an issue. I am interested in future relationships for sure, but I have a lot to get through first. We are working to finalize the decree and I am trying to find a house to buy (still living together for now). Once I am in a place of my own, I will start thinking about relationships or at least some casual fun.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/21 02:54 AM
5

I am sorry you had to go through that. On the flip side, I wish mine would just leave me and my kinds in peace. It might be painful, but you are headed down a good path. Concentrate on keeping your kids happy and yourself healthy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/21 02:37 AM
1

I can't even imagine how awful that was man. I am glad you came through okay. You make me glad it was relatively easy for me.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/21 02:36 AM
1

Man, what a pain. Sorry you couldn't get it worked out without having to go to court.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/21 01:59 AM
1

I think you are looking at it right. I feel these words so much right now and I can't wait for it to be done.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/21 12:20 AM
1

You're not crazy. Just don't abandon your eight year old. You will regret that.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 12:44 PM
2

Damn man, this is one of my fears right now as my 12yo daughter keeps adoring her mother even as she catches her lying to her over and over while she runs out with her boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/21 10:59 PM
3

Sorry man. It's a truly awful thing. Just remember she was the shitty person and stay strong!
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 01:27 AM
1

Honestly not sure what I want at this point so I feel like a little experimentation might help me find it. Regardless I am waiting a bit because I am still living with my stbx and kids right now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/21 01:24 AM
1

Immediately made me think of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK\_Kbx5mnrc
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/21 04:37 PM
1

Congratulations man!
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/21 04:35 PM
6

Thanks for sharing man. Keep on giving these updates. It gives the rest of us hope. There's so much here that I can relate to. I'm just days away from filing the decree. Then it's just a matter of waiting for the judge to sign it. My stress right now is trying to find a home to buy, and then it's going to be all about figuring out how to live my life. I'd like to start on some of that now, but it just feels weird when we are living together. I am happy for you that you are in a good place, and I…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/21 02:01 AM
2

I think 10 is probably still too young to understand something like that. A fourteen year old would understand it technically, but probably still can't process it well. I try to just stay very neutral and point them to their mom to answer questions like "Why isn't mommy home?", but at the same time I just want to answer them honestly because I know she will just lie to them. Have you started the divorce process? They will start asking all sorts of questions when you do. Make sure you plan for ho…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 01:22 PM
2

How old are your kids? I think if they are in their teens it would be something I might consider. This same question has been tormenting me for the last few months, especially when my kids (9 and 12) have asked me if I think her mom has a boyfriend. So far I have followed the advice of my lawyer, therapist and friends, and I have not confirmed it to them. I also have not lied to them and said that she doesn't. My friends whose parents divorced insist that the kids will definitely figure it out a…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/21 01:08 PM
2

Ironically, it was the opposite for me. My stbxw is six years older and she made slightly more than me for all 14 years of our marriage. This was the first year that I make more. I guess you could say it's happening at a good time from that perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 09:17 PM
4

Man, that must have been an awesome feeling. I can only hope I get the chance to do something similar some day.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/21 10:02 PM
8

You are doing the right thing. I can assure you. She has made her decision clear, and you need to move on for you and your kids. Document every interaction, and keep track of every penny your spend. Keep your receipts, just in case. I think she is more worried about how the courts will view her behavior than the courts "owning" the kids. Make sure you are avoiding any potentially bad situations like drinking to excess.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/21 05:39 PM
2

Man, that is awful. I am so sorry. Don't give up. Keep fighting for them. It may not seem like it but they will understand what she has done one day. Just make sure you are there for it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/21 01:19 AM
5

This was my situation exactly. She just had an affair and then claimed it was because she had been unhappy for years. There was never a single instance of "I wish you would do this, change this", etc. Why didn't she ever say anything? "Because she couldn't talk to her husband and obviously that's a problem." Yeah, that's a you problem, not a me problem. I tried to support her by finding a counselor and making myself available, but she wasn't interested. I can walk away knowing I tried at least.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/21 05:23 PM
13

Wow, that is one hell of a daily rollercoaster. Try to stay strong and be consistent. It's only going to be more difficult (for both of you) if you give in. I guess I should count my blessings that my stbx was consistently emotionally unavailable.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 03:16 PM
2

Man, I keep seeing this advice and I am trying to stick to it. On one hand it's really easy to do because I don't find myself in any social situations at the moment where there is an opportunity. On the other hand, I feel a desire to get out there and start trying...
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 03:14 PM
3

I am curious to see if my stbxw does this. She changed her name on her facebook profile the day after mediation. She has changed her name three times now (her 2nd divorce) so she should be pretty good at it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 03:10 PM
2

I think pegleg_legal's response is still accurate. You could probably initiate a suit to enforce the decree, but is it worth it? The county/state aren't going to initiate anything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/21 03:08 PM
1

Congratulations on that step man. I am looking forward to getting my own place so much. I can't wait to get to where you are.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 02:36 PM
2

Congratulations man! That's a huge milestone.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/21 02:06 PM
1

This was the most stressful thing for me going into mediation. I ended up being one day short of 50/50 during the school year. My wife gets an extra Friday each month essentially. It was hard for me to take that, but she was threatening to take it to court, and that was going to be a much bigger risk for me than her. In Texas the courts are very traditional and likely to stick you with a standard possession order and standard child support (25% of gross pay). She was offering no child support al…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 12:49 PM
3

Man that first paragraph was a roller coaster ride. I can't begin to imagine what it was like going through that. It's awesome that it has worked out so well for you and your son.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/21 02:31 AM
3

Wow, sounds like you or your lawyer worked some magic. I am glad you came out of it okay. I haven't had to do anything to keep her focused on her boyfriend. She does that all by herself.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 07:45 PM
1

In that case, I would say you are being overly generous. If she is still being a pain at this point, I might pull back the offer and let mediation/lawyer make her much more amenable.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 07:39 PM
1

Ouch man, I am sorry to hear that. Thankfully mine was ready to be done when she decided to to commit to her affair.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 06:21 PM
2

Whew, just read the description and ya that hits too close to home. My STBX's boyfriend is her old high school crush.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 06:01 PM
2

I'm not there yet, but I think it's unlikely there will be any major roadblocks at this point. I can't imagine going through this for two years or more. I hope things come together for you soon. Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:47 PM
1

Thanks! All the best to you as well. What is the movie you mentioned? I want to check it out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:46 PM
2

Keep in mind a mediator may not do much persuading there. Their job is to get you to an agreement, not necessarily a fair one. Be prepared to stand your ground.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:35 PM
2

I admit I felt like I was at a disadvantage the entire time, but I have to give credit to my stbx that she was reasonable and we came out even overall I think. Man, I am sorry abut the spousal maintenance. That does not sound like a fun negotiation to go through. I hope you can come to an agreement that is a good middle ground.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 05:07 PM
1

I definitely will. I feel like the next milestones for me are when the decree is official (sock day) and when I have my next home figured out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 04:00 PM
2

No, there can definitely still be child support. Even in 50/50 they will do offset sometimes, particularly if one spouse has considerably higher income. In our case, we have almost identical income, so it's less likely, but always a possibility as DeJohn123 pointed out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 03:59 PM
4

Interesting, that distinction on decree wasn't something I realized. We have an MSA, and it says that my lawyer will draft the final decree of divorce. I don't know if having an MSA makes a difference here. Maybe? I'm sorry you had to deal with her bringing someone to the marital home, even if you were moved out. I am going on vacation next week with the kids, so I am a little concerned she might do something like that with her boyfriend, but there isn't really anything I can do about it.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 03:33 PM
1

I am hoping that never becomes an issue, but I guess time will tell. It's a good reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 03:27 PM
12

I made the mistake of looking at stbxw's phone early on and I saw some similar stuff that was extremely hurtful. Honestly it will not seem like it, but it was for the best in the long run. It helped me understand that she was done and moved on and I should move that direction as well. It's going to be tough. For me it was about 2-3 weeks before I was able to effectively cope with the disappointment. A couple of months on now, I can honestly (I think) say that it doesn't matter wtf she does. I am…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/21 12:36 AM
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