TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

l3landgaunt Archive

View 4 posts and 189 comments by l3landgaunt on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

I had to wait 2.5 years. You did the right thing. Just keep trying
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 08:08 PM
3

Take down your post and call a lawyer. Judges get really pissed at this. They shouldn’t but they do. It will heavily get used against you in court
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 10:21 PM
9

Nothing to do with gender. I took time to heal, my ex didn’t. The woman I’m currently chatting with also took the time to heal while her ex just moved on. It’s about personality not what’s between your legs
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 08:21 PM
20

His body his choice
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:46 AM
9

She did not take it well. Make sure you get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 09:47 PM
7

Depending on state texts can be used for a lot of stuff. Since alimony is forfeited in my state for adultery, I was able to get my lawyer to subpoena, electronic communications between her, and her affair partner as evidence of the affair. It never went to trial, but she did drop her claim for alimony. That’s probably the closest I’ll ever get to an actual admission though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 02:24 PM
2

People, regardless of gender, can be dicks
/r/MensRights10/06/26 02:20 PM
1

I like women closer to my age. Younger women have different outlooks on life. I’ve also always had a thing for women their 40s-50s (since I was a kid). Further, at 43, a lot of young women still look like children to me and my brain doesn’t find that attractive. But that’s just me, to each their own as long as it’s legal
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 03:09 PM
6

This right here. We need to drop these fucking labels and get back to being a brotherhood. With the current toxicity out there against us, brotherhood I’d all we have left. We’re supposed to be leaders, so let’s lead by example and show the toxic women (and some men) that they’re wrong. If we lift each other up without putting the other side down, eventually they’ll catch on
/r/MensRights31/05/26 09:16 PM
3

I just went through this. Get a lawyer asap. Give them all the information you put here and they can help you protect your assets as best as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:09 AM
18

Society still can’t accept that women can be abusive towards men ETA that I just went through all that crap (came out better off than most but it was a hard fight) and the courts still think it’s the 1940’s. There’s no “equality” or “equal justice”
/r/MensRights24/05/26 09:45 PM
-4

As men, we need to simply reverse the roles. Start treating every woman as dangerous until proven otherwise. I’m not saying this to be sexist, but women love the whole “every man is a rapist” line but see no issue viewing every man as free labor and an ATM. That’s just as predatory and we need to call out the fuck out. My ex wife treated me this way and I don’t know that I’ll ever fully trust a woman again. I was nothing more than her source of funds while she went out and nailed any dude that s…
/r/MensRights22/05/26 04:53 PM
4

I caught that. My reply was intended just to try to get us to stop using the terms. They’re dehumanizing and just as bad as any slur against anything
/r/MensRights18/05/26 01:12 PM
8

We need to stop using these terms as all of the dudes I know who call themselves “alpha” are really just insecure and overcompensating. Then we use “beta” as a slur towards men who (in my mind) have simply chosen which fights are worth putting energy into. I was taught that as men we should learn to be real leaders (this really helps with child rearing) and we need to work together as men to teach each other how to properly lead. With all the hate towards men out there, we have no choice but to …
/r/MensRights18/05/26 12:30 PM
9

I just finished getting divorced and will say that I’m open to another life long commitment and would even consider a religious ceremony for a wedding but no way in hell am I getting the government involved again. Every single law regarding divorce needs to be updated to reflect modern society, not the 1940’s
/r/MensRights11/05/26 09:03 PM
4

May the force be with you?
/r/MensRights28/03/26 11:05 PM
4

This would be a better post if you could back up your arguments. There are plenty of female sex offenders, politicians and (overseas) war criminals
/r/MensRights12/01/26 10:19 PM
4

But none of her citations back up her argument about men being favored they only back up things like childcare cost ETA that I reviewed all the sources and the article is basically her take on a heavily-biased academic paper where the author discloses up front “no conflict of interest was found “
/r/MensRights01/01/26 09:57 PM
12

Well, that was obviously written by a woman with entitlement issues. She doesn’t cite sources for most of her claims anyway. It’s all bullshit.
/r/MensRights01/01/26 06:10 PM
2

If you decide to get married, make sure you get a prenup
/r/MensRights07/12/25 07:13 PM
30

Not a woman, but a high school girl when I was in middle school: “the best thing you could do for the world is kill yourself”. The next morning when I got on the bus, she stood up, pointed at me and said (laughing) “you’re such a pussy you couldn’t do it”
/r/MensRights04/12/25 09:08 PM
9

I’m essentially a single father of 2. Apart from the domestic stuff, the main labor is just being a safe space for the kids. Dads are usually the ones that have to discipline and have the hard talks. You want to talk about emotional labor? Try explaining to a 6 year old that there’s no way his mother and I are ever getting back together. That on top of trying to encourage a good for him relationship with her and keeping him in the dark about her cheating. Add that to my oldest knowing her mom ch…
/r/MensRights04/12/25 08:58 PM
-6

I really think that post was meant as a joke. It reminds me of the comedian that does her bit about “diet cum“ being produced by men with vasectomies. At least I really hope this is a joke. I need this to be a joke. Full disclosure, though: I would show her my butt hole. Hell I’d probably make it talk for her.
/r/MensRights12/11/25 12:19 AM
3

I’m not mad at her for cheating but fuck the dude who decided to get involved with a woman he knew was married. I was mad at her but you’re dead ok with the simp. I took control back of my life and she found a dude who’ll do anything to have someone play with his pee pee
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/25 10:39 PM
8

Exact thing here with the time. She said she wanted more time, I made it happen and it just pissed her off. She’s only happy if someone’s dropping a couple hundred bucks on her for a night out
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 06:57 PM
1

Check the laws on support. My state is also no fault, but cheating forfeits spousal support. You just have to prove it
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 08:20 PM
2

Honestly, the fear of false accusations is what’s kept me from even entertaining the idea of dating again. There’s so much vitriol against men out there that I’m legit afraid of women. I know I shouldn’t generalize but it’s hard when you’ve been put through the ringer
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/25 07:19 PM
4

I’ve been told (by a friend who’s gone through this, not my lawyer) that if you’re falsely accused and can prove it that you can then sue for slander but unless your lawyer wants to take that on, it would probably cost more in legal fees than you’d get awarded
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:25 PM
1

Do what I do and just keep going out of spite for society. I hate what the world is turning in to and I’m going to stick around to fight the fuckers as long as I can. If you end yourself they win ETA: I’ve learned the very hard way that it’s far better to be single and content with yourself than to get into a bad relationship. Also, learn to love yourself and others will take note and be drawn to you. I rely on a quote from social distortion: “how can you love if you don’t love yourself?”
/r/MensRights17/10/25 07:30 PM
2

Yep. They’ll say they want things to be amicable but go scorched earth. I laugh at the things she’s accused me of at this point. I was mad at first but it’s funny to see her grasping at straws
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 03:36 AM
16

Mine isn’t finalized but I’ve come to the same conclusions myself. I’ve got kids in the mix so that complicates things, but now when I have them things are great. When their mother was still in the house, they treated me the same way she did and I was never allowed to actually discipline the kids if they misbehaved. Without her around, I have been able to actually parent my kids and my youngest went from being in the principal’s office daily to earning a good school citizen award at the end of l…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 08:50 PM
22

Same in my state but also just for cheating. Mine dropped her alimony claim after my lawyer subpoenaed her boyfriend’s electronic communication communications with her, and she couldn’t dispute the affair. ETA: mine moved straight from marital home to his but lied and told everyone she was living an hour away
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:51 PM
9

Mine cheated because I attempted to reign in her rampant spending. All I did wrong was grow a backbone
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 03:03 PM
18

At least 5 years before I found out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 10:47 PM
3

I have had several women in my life try to initiate sex. I, however was fucking clueless and did not understand the situation. I need a woman to literally tell me she wants to. The ones I missed were her dropping hints. I am not always a smart man
/r/seduction12/08/25 08:51 PM
27

I don’t want to come off as incel or red pill, but the issue is that we’re in end game feminism. I say this as a man who considers himself a feminist. We’re at a point where we mostly have equal rights in terms of voting, land ownership, being able to work, etc. are things perfect? No. Because things have gotten so much better and the original suffragettes are all gone, women (especially younger ones) are fighting to recreate the world as they understand it from when men really did have the powe…
/r/MensRights10/08/25 06:29 PM
3

I was mad at first, but my religion tells me the only valid reason for divorce is cheating. My religion is very important to me. Thankfully I realized that as bad as it hurts, she gave me the gift of freedom because she did the one thing that allows me to pursue future relationships if I so choose
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 10:22 PM
1

I got a male therapist that does CBT therapy and it was a game changer for me. I’ve found that female counselors are more prone to just trying to validate feelings rather than work through how to deal with them
/r/MensRights09/08/25 10:15 PM
9

It’s not just law. Society seems to celebrate women who cheat. Socials are plastered with women bragging about it. They’re also allowed to “justify” it. I personally got cheated on, but all her female friends have told me it’s my fault it happened. Everything I did to cause it (all bs stuff btw. Mine just wanted a human atm and I stopped it). However, had I stepped out during the bad times, there would be no justification allowed. It’s yet another double standard
/r/MensRights09/08/25 08:29 PM
6

Her cheating
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/25 07:01 PM
0

My stbx is claiming I’m doing this when the reality is I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for new gigs for almost 6 months. The advice my lawyer told me is to get a job making what she makes. In my state, the court does look at work history and unless there are extenuating circumstances, it’s factored in as what you should be earning. Thankfully I’ve kept track of every job interaction I’ve had since my layoff and can show the judge that I’m working full time to find work
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 05:34 PM
2

Those types are incapable of taking accountability for what they did hence the playing victim. Make sure the person you’re with takes accountability for their actions and if they do, they’re likely safe
/r/MensRights18/07/25 07:33 PM
15

I wish my ex was as cool as you. Good luck with it all
/r/MensRights15/07/25 04:23 PM
33

Do you think that you could organize a crowd fund to raise money for legal fees for him?
/r/MensRights15/07/25 04:20 PM
1

If she’s degrading you to the kids, talk to a lawyer and see if you can reopen custody in juvenile court so that a guardian ad Litem gets signed. They’re your kid’s lawyer and will talk to the kids. If the kids tell him all the bad things mommy says but daddy doesn’t do that, you could potentially get more custody and while IANAL, you could potentially get her for contempt. But definitely talk to a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 09:18 PM
2

This made me laugh far harder than it should have. Thank you
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 06:31 PM
5

Fake your own death
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:35 PM
3

Our exes are working together. They must be stopped.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 12:14 PM
11

This is honestly end game feminism. Rather than focus on equality, they use fear (like most movements or politics) to keep people hooked and have to turn “the other side” into monsters. It’s contributing largely to the mental health crisis in America
/r/MensRights26/05/25 06:25 PM
10

With every fiber of my being
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 10:42 AM
10

That’s what it’s supposed to be, but from my experience, including my soon to be ex, a lot of women fight for custody solely for the Support payments that they can use for themselves. My soon-to-be ex still talks about when she was younger Her mom got a back payment in child support and used it for a facelift.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 05:22 PM
6

The sexiest thing I’ve ever heard from a woman happened recently: “don’t spend your money on me”
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 09:54 PM
12

I’m still in the process but I’ve hung out with a few women who were interested but it was an odd feeling. I just couldn’t put my whole self in and I had suspicious thoughts the whole time
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 05:53 PM
3

I’m still in the process but I’ve hung out with a few women who were interested but it was an odd feeling. I just couldn’t put my whole self in and I had suspicious thoughts the whole time
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 05:53 PM
1

I was confused at first because I thought people were taking pills to lose hair not the other way around. I feel dumb.
/r/MensRights18/03/25 12:20 AM
2

Step one: get a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 03:47 PM
5

I’d advocate while scissoring
/r/MensRights21/02/25 11:41 PM
1

Which is why I specifically said only if the teacher is not teaching that particular student. If the teacher has that person as a student then yes there’s a huge power issue and it’s assault. I’m saying the only way this could be acceptable is if the young man is of adult age and does not have the woman as a teacher. Any woman who sleeps with any of her students, regardless of age is a predator due to the power dynamic. In fact, any teacher that sleeps with any student is abusing the power dynam…
/r/MensRights14/02/25 08:53 PM
2

The only time a relationship like that is acceptable is if the student is 18 years old or legally, an adult depending on country and that the teacher does not actually teach that student because that creates conflict of interest. The way I see it if an 18-year-old young man meets a mid 20s school teacher at his high school and they get something going it should be treated as two consenting adults
/r/MensRights14/02/25 07:37 PM
4

Both the sizes of a man's penis and his wallet should be irrelevant to his worth as a person
/r/MensRights07/02/25 10:44 PM
3

I’m about to be in the same boat and have decided to become one of those Mary Kay type sales people and meet women at those parties. I’ll thinking the sex toy ones because there’s a lot of room for comedy and it’s a major ice breaker. The moms on my street support this idea
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 01:21 AM
7

That’s what bros do. I’ve had several similar incidents since starting my divorce. Really glad my boys are still with me after the isolation she put me through
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 09:04 PM
2

I’m aware and don’t want her back. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m legally still married to her and being intimate with another woman would be cheating on my part. I don’t have to sink to her level
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:59 PM
1

I’m moving on for sure. I’m becoming the real me again since she turned me into a shell. I’m still not going to cheat though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:41 PM
5

Same. Currently separated and she’s living with some dude but I’m staying single until it’s over because I don’t cheat
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 12:47 PM
25

They need to treat men who open up emotionally with respect. Women are always saying that men don’t want to talk about our feelings when the reality is that when we do we’re seen as “weak” so we’ve chosen not to. Frankly, all people should simply treat all other people with respect regardless of gender.
/r/MensRights04/01/25 07:31 PM
2

Mine are younger, but any money they earn is theirs as far as I’m concerned. As soon as they’re old enough, I plan on getting them bank accounts they can use. Now that I know this could be a point of contention, I’ll make sure to discuss it with my lawyer. It amazes me the things that women think they can control in our lives even when they’re the ones that decided to terminate the marriage
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 12:32 AM
3

Right there with you on the loyalty and mine was triggered for the same reason. Mine is ongoing and hostile isn’t string enough a word for how it’s going. My stbxmil is throwing stupid amounts of money into my wife’s legal expenses just to try to wear me down. She’s also trying to make the world think I’m the narcissist and asshole instead of her daughter who said “fuck it” to not just being a wife, but also a mother. As soon as we “separated”, she got another guy on the hook. From what my pi ha…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 08:00 PM
1

Pretty much
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 01:48 PM
6

It should be the opposite and every baby born gets a paternity test in the hospital
/r/MensRights18/12/24 12:38 AM
4

Mine was never wrong either. She literally can’t take accountability for her words or actions. It’s always someone or something else’s fault. Her last line of defense and I’ve yet to break through it is astrology. “It’s not my fault I’m selfish and entitled, it’s how the stars were when I was born.”
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 07:42 PM
6

I believe if there’s a summons on that and she doesn’t show up she’s in contempt. I’m waiting for mine to get served. It’s happening at her boyfriend’s place and I really wish I could see the look on her face when they do it
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 07:36 PM
8

What kills me is women love to scream about narcissistic behavior in men when they’re obviously doing it to us but society deemed it acceptable. In all of these stories that I have read on here it seems like every guy that gets blindsided is because he’s done something that is taken back control from the narcissist, making them not want their partner anymore. I find the whole thing very fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:15 PM
9

Same here. It’s a way that they can avoid accountability for their decisions
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 01:18 PM
3

Summed up with the social distortion quote “how can you love if you don’t love yourself?”
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 05:47 PM
13

I was never her number one even though she was always mine. She did a lot of things that looking back now I see as manipulation and emotional abuse. No matter what I did there was always something wrong with it. The final straw that killed the last bit of “me” was when I finally, after years of her begging, let her in my band. She destroyed not just it but also the only parts left of my social life. Since our debut album wasn’t an overnight hit, she burned the project to the ground
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 12:10 AM
3

Not technically a dress, but we can wear kilts (please not the utilikilt)
/r/MensRights11/12/24 03:29 PM
99

Just treat all people with kindness and respect. Gender shouldn’t play in to it at all
/r/MensRights27/11/24 09:39 PM
2

I got the same one a while back. Actually I’ve gotten a few
/r/MensRights26/11/24 05:08 PM
1

This. My lawyer is expensive but he’s been doing family law for 42 years which beats my record for consecutive days alive. He knows all the judges and all the other lawyers and those connections have made some magic happen. Don’t trust the court; find a lawyer that knows how to play the system to your favor
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 06:42 PM
1

The dudes that go with it only want to get laid. Guys looking for serious relationships still look for certain values. I myself am coming out of an 18 year long relationship that was nothing but emotional abuse against me that I didn’t realize and now that I know accountability is something people like that lack, I’m figuring out ways to see if new potential mates have that quality. I’ll never be with another woman who can’t take accountability for her actions. I also know how to tell if they’re…
/r/MensRights08/11/24 06:38 PM
1

Yes. My stbx decided I had a mental disorder whenever she treated me like crap, and I expressed my feelings
/r/MensRights06/11/24 12:23 PM
1

You can always have child support amended. You just have to file and have their income and your income looked at again. I do not know the cost, but know that I will have to do that several times in my life in the near future.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 08:08 PM
4

Since mine was a narcissist and stripped me of my identity, rather than try to build a new one I’ve just embraced who I was before her. This has taken a lot of therapy and is still an ongoing process though. Maybe try to find something that you used to do before you met her that you enjoyed and see how that makes you feel.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 02:30 PM
6

Your wife sounds like a very more assertive version of mine. Things were fine in our relationship until I took over finances and instigated an allowance for both of us system, which she would try to work around and spend family funds on fun things for her. No matter how much money I made in the relationship, we were always broke until I took the funds over. I didn’t realize it at the time but it’s very much a narcissistic control thing and you need to get out. She’s abusing you the way your fath…
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 09:19 PM
–

I wouldn’t say less valuable, more “expendable”
/r/MensRights31/10/24 03:09 PM
2

Mine’s doing the same except she’s not taking the kids there. She’s trying to hide the affair because she doesn’t want this to be an at fault divorce in my state. But I have the exact same concerns as you and I know for a fact that my children have been there on several occasions hanging out with his kid while she and him go into another room for a while. Our separation agreement says that she would be residing at a specific address and she’s not, but she takes the kids there to avoid detection.…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 12:51 PM
5

In my state, my lawyer told me that cheating will help in terms of asset division. But it’s also different from state to state and honestly from judge to judge.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 12:26 PM
3

That’s why all my closest friends get hugs
/r/MensRights29/10/24 12:11 AM
2

So I’m a single father and have to do all of that work plus a full-time job plus the stuff for the kids that’s fun. I’ve been able to work everything into my daily schedule, but I’m literally working from the time. I wake up until the time I go to bed every day when I have custody of my children. I wouldn’t say it’s hard, but it’s definitely challenging and you have to want to do it. My soon to be X want to be a stay at home mom but she thought it would be is going out and playing all day long. …
/r/MensRights28/10/24 02:32 PM
7

Hardest part for me is seeing her treat the children the same way she’s treated me now. We’re doing 70/30 custody right now with me at 70. I spent most nights reassuring my children that their mother really does love them, even though I’m not sure if she really does. My youngest who is five keeps talking about how “mommy is breaking up with me”. Breaks my heart what she’s doing to these kids. At this point, she only uses them for social media props.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 05:04 PM
6

My stbx had at least 5 of these over our 18 years together. I’m pretty sure at least 3 turned physical
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 05:02 PM
12

I don’t know. Once I got proof of one affair, it looks like my stbxw has slept with half my damn city. At least it wasn’t with my brother and my family has my back
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 01:14 PM
2

Dude, I’m having those issues with just myself. My therapist tells me it will pass
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 01:10 PM
2

I can confirm
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 11:21 PM
1

Same here. Pretty much the same timing too
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 12:15 AM
3

We’re working on the swaps. She thinks cs is based on the act of giving birth
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 07:30 PM
3

I filed for sole custody before she did anything legally. After the last couple weeks, when my lawyer told me she’s looking for a settlement I told him I want no quarter
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 07:29 PM
3

We’ve got another hearing in less than a month so the GAL will be doing follow up interviews and home inspections. I hope the kids tell him what they tell me
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 05:40 PM
1

Yep. I soon to be X is hanging out with many divorced women and was seeing a therapist who I also saw briefly who would like to tell people how great being divorced from her husband was. Things weren’t great before those influences, but we were at least working on things and I thought they were getting better. A lot of it I think is these women are trying to gain some sort of social status by being the “super single mom“. Because of this, I have to fight really hard for my custody because my chi…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 07:57 PM
1

Mine is telling people I have a drug problem. I’m honestly concerned that since her job grants her easy access to fentanyl that she’s going to try to fatally dose me so she can tell people my “drug problem” was the real reason for divorce. I keep narcan on me at all times now just in case
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 06:28 PM
1

I jumped on the dating apps and very quickly got scared and closed my accounts. My new plan is when I’m ready to actually start dating again to become a Mary Kay or pampered chef consultant and then go to parties so that I can meet age-appropriate women. The crap I was reading on women’s profiles made me disgusted. Things like women in their upper 30s saying straight up all they want is a sugar daddy. Well, I’ve done that and I ain’t doing it again.
/r/MensRights08/10/24 02:57 PM
3

Don’t agree to anything without talking to a lawyer first
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 11:45 AM
5

Married 15 years, together 18. I’m still early in the process, but my relationship with my kids has never been better. Conversely their relationship with their mother has never been worse. She gets them 3 nights (2 full days) a week and the kids tell me she just stays in her room all weekend and their grandmother does the caretaking. The two of them also openly trash me to each other and the kids hear it and don’t like it. I make sure our time together is positive and I’m introducing the kids to…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 09:56 PM
6

Get a lawyer asap
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 03:17 PM
3

I feel you bro. I’m dealing with the narcissistic stuff too, and it’s really hard to be the good guy and take the high road. For me, I’ve just had to do it for the kids because she’s completely messing with their heads too, so I have to keep it together just for them. Her two days of custody or my two days to process.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 05:59 PM
1

Sent
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:23 PM
3

Struggling with this myself. After the second time, I decided to go back to taking a break and doing some therapy. I think my issue and it may be the same for others here is that my soon to be ex completely destroyed my confidence in the bedroom. She made sure that the final encounter will ever have was so terrible that I’m not sure how long it’ll take to recover. I also learned at 41 years of age that it is possible for sex to be absolutely terrible for the man even if he finishes. In fact, I r…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 05:01 PM
6

The real problem with child support is that most of the mothers that get it look at it as supplemental income that they’re entitled to simply because they gave birth. My soon to be ex’s mother actually used back child support payment She got back in the day for cosmetic surgery. I wouldn’t necessarily say that the system is broken, but what I would say is that it needs more oversight to ensure that the funds are actually being used for the children and not the recipient of the funds.
/r/MensRights01/10/24 02:36 PM
33

Find the dude on social media and send him a message even if it’s from a fake profile. Once my divorce is finalized, I plan to do that for my exes future boyfriends. I don’t care what you’ve done, but you don’t deserve to live what I’ve had to live.
/r/MensRights28/09/24 11:26 PM
4

Thank you I needed to read this this morning
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 03:03 PM
3

I still have trouble in person too. I try to make sure when she has to come by the house for anything that I’m able to lock myself in my room while she’s here so I don’t have to see her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 08:57 PM
5

This is really common just not usually that quick. My personal theory is it’s hormonal but if you say that to a woman she will hit you lol. What I had to do with my soon to be X is realize that she is not actually the woman I married. She’s only the woman I’m married to. The woman I married is unfortunately Dead and Gone and I have to accept that loss and move forward because she’s never going to come back. It’s really difficult, but I found that grieving this as though she’s dead is making it e…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 08:32 PM
16

What I had to do was realize that the woman I married was gone and dead. The woman I’m currently married to is in no way the woman I married and I cannot wait for the divorce to be finalized. I still get sad and lonely, but mainly because of the kids and seeing what this is doing to them. I’ve had all those same feelings that you were experiencing today, but my reflections made me realize that her actions throughout the years towards me were terrible and I just never realized it. Look back on yo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 08:42 PM
3

You need to try couples counseling
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 03:24 PM
9

Wait until the divorce process starts and then the cops start randomly showing up due to “threats”. Mine just got caught fabricating texts (we were both in the precinct in separate rooms with our layers) where she changed a friend’s contact name to mine and gave them screenshots. I had them double check the contact number and it wasn’t mine. I was sent home right then and thought she’d be in trouble but as far as I know she got off Scott free for lying to the police.
/r/MensRights24/09/24 02:27 PM
6

I’m just avoiding contact. If she needs to come by the house for anything, I have her let me know that she’s coming, and then I lock myself in my bedroom until she leaves.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 11:28 PM
23

My soon to be ex-wife’s addiction to social media and focus on presenting her “best life” is the main reason she’s left me. She spends her entire existence trying to make herself look good on Facebook. The kids and I are just props for her to use.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 04:16 PM
4

I’m in the same boat, bro. I don’t think it’s the act that I miss but that connection I used to have. But right now my brain is totally in “I wanna get laid” mode to try and get my mind pass the soon to be ex. I just have to hold out until it can’t be held against me in court
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 10:02 PM
6

Started with the draft when I was a teenager. Got solidified recently with the beginning of a divorce.
/r/MensRights20/09/24 03:13 PM
11

They say they want equality but see nothing wrong in using a man simply for his money and they feel entitled to it even after the relationship is over.
/r/MensRights20/09/24 01:17 AM
8

I grew up in a stable household, and my parents are still married to this day. My one goal in life was to provide the same for my children. My soon to be has made that goal impossible now
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 07:29 PM
8

He’s right it’s all about status. My soon to be ex started all the bad stuff I’m going through now once my status seem to be dropping and now she’s hanging out with people and checking up with a dude who have higher status than me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 01:13 PM
1

I just got a temporary agreement said in place that says she’ll be staying at a certain address and literally the first day of the separation where she didn’t have the kids. She moved in and started shaking up with some dude.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 02:22 PM
2

Mine literally has changed every plan we’ve ever made
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 11:26 PM
4

I’m in Virginia. Wherever you are, I suggest getting a lawyer. Mine filled my custody in juvenile court to both save money on the guardian ad Litem and to basically force her hand which is what happened at the courthouse
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 11:25 PM
6

Yes, this is temporary until our next hearing in a couple months
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 07:29 PM
2

Look at my stbx as proof of this
/r/MensRights05/09/24 04:34 PM
3

I’m going through it now and can tell you it gets better but you’re in for a rollercoaster of emotions. I finally just got around to claiming my bedroom as my own complete with new furniture and getting her stuff out (because she wouldn’t) was rough. Getting rid of the marital bed was even harder. I’ve been making sure to spend as much time as possible with my kids and do as many things with them as I can including bringing them into my hobbies (music and warhammer mainly). Since their mom check…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 11:13 PM
1

I’m going through divorce myself and had not considered this. I’d borrow far more if I could; max it out and bail.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:25 AM
8

He made a threat against you. Call his local cops and report it
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/24 01:18 AM
3

Before she even had a lawyer, I retained one and told him she was assuming she’d get full custody so he said we have to fight fire with fire and sued her early in juvenile court for custody. In my state all custody issues have to go through a Guardian Ad Litem and they cost less money in juvenile court than they do in civil court so he mainly did it to save me money. I’m still waiting for that court date and to see how things go.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 05:14 PM
10

I was with my stbx a total of 18 years before she showed her true self and I saw through the manipulation over the years. When I realized the sweet young woman I fell in love with almost half my life ago was all a facade, I absolutely mourned. It was just like my wife had died. Now I have a stranger living in my basement and refusing to contribute to anything household wise, monetary or labor
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 10:46 PM
21

I get the ego boost but have decided I need to save myself for prison
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/24 09:27 PM
3

My stbx is the same and it’s hard when you finally see them for who they are. Like you I was devastated at turn start of the process, now I’m straight up giddy at the thought of her being out of my life
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/24 02:45 PM
2

I had the same realization and it sucks hard. Just set firm boundaries and take back your space wherever you can
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/24 01:25 AM
2

My stbx thinks she’s getting half my paycheck the rest of her life. Thankfully she has a long work history before she tried the sahm thing (code for do whatever all day and spend money). But now she’s working again, albeit part time while she finishes grad school (that I’m paying for) to become a counselor. While the thought of this unhinged woman trying to help the mentally ill frightens me, my lawyer has assured me that her earning potential will keep me from paying alimony. Child support I’m …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 11:24 PM
3

I got setup in a similar manner. So sorry dude. I’ll just say that I’m fighting for sole custody so I can limit the amount of exposure my kids have to my current MIL. That woman is crazy, planned the divorce (I’m screwing up the plan by breaking their timeline), and actually encouraged my wife’s extramarital activities.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 07:03 PM
1

I’m still not even technically divorced and stopped wearing mine. It took a few months of her living in the basement but now I feel free
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 03:27 PM
1

I’m still in the beginning stages but my lawyer filed for my sole custody already in juvenile court. Mainly to save money, but he said you have to fight for complete and sole custody to even stand a chance of 50/50. At least in my state but I’d still say fight for everything if you can. That way, if you win, you have control over the people your kids are getting exposed to
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 07:24 PM
2

At least reciprocate what she did for you
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:16 AM
2

I dropped a full 60 but have been working out and building muscle so now it’s like 45
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/24 04:18 PM
3

Same. I was expected to do all the “relationship “ work. She never put effort into our relationship and once I realized that I was good with it being over
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 02:44 PM
3

When I first discovered the affair I felt this way but reflection on how she’s treated me over the years made me just not give a fuck any more. The only reason I’m trying to catch her is so I have cause to sue instead of trying this “no fault” thing. Honestly with as bad as mine is, I feel bad for the guy
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 08:14 PM
4

Dude, did you meet my stbx lol?
/r/MensRights05/08/24 04:26 PM
3

That’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m going to take time to heal, but I’m hoping to get back out there once all is said and done and now I know a lot of things to avoid
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 07:26 PM
3

I’ve learned the hard way that once a cheater always a cheater. She never stopped dude. You need a lawyer asap. Things can only get worse and the longer you wait the worse it will be for the kids
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 05:47 PM
2

Not really. The issue in middle age is we all have jobs and kids so we’re not all free on the same night
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 05:05 PM
2

Music is the only thing keeping me sane through this process. If you don’t play, taking up an instrument and getting out in that scene can make a huge difference. Most people don’t even care if you’re good, just consistent in showing up. Scheduling is the hard part
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 03:06 PM
2

I’ve been told by friends who have gone through the same that it comes and goes in waves. This will wear off and you’ll be good again
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 02:20 PM
5

I’ve managed to make quite a few male friends recently but it’s like others said and through hobbies. All my closest friends are friends I made doing music. I’m working hard now to find a group of guys who’s schedules actually work and we can practice/jam once a week
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/24 04:19 AM
6

I felt ashamed at the very beginning, but family and friends made it clear from the beginning that she changed and I did nothing wrong except not setting good boundaries with her from the beginning
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 07:46 PM
3

Mine is 39 doing the same thing. Won’t move out but wants me to keep paying all her expenses while she uses her income from her job to go out and play. Her lifestyle has me trapped in the house 24/7 (I work from home) because she goes out most every night and I watch the kids (which I love) but she’s actively preventing me from having a life
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 04:17 PM
7

Came to say the same.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/24 11:53 AM
6

A month ago, yes. Today, not a chance in hell
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 09:05 PM
4

You basically just described my life. Only advice I could offer comes from my therapist who told me you have to make her feel it’s in her best interest to move out. Mine has been earning money but not contributing to any of the household expenses so my lawyer cleared me telling her if she wants to live in the house, she has to cover the utilities because she has them in her name only. He also told me that (at least in my state), the court looks at where the money for the bills is coming from to …
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 06:00 PM
2

Came here to say this. I’m just in the beginning of the process but I’ve changed all my beneficiaries to a trust my kids are in. In my case it’s because I firmly believe she’s willing to kill me for the money so I made sure to remove that motive
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 01:44 PM
2

If he’s like my stbx, he’ll never prioritize the family over social. My wife is the same way. She’s never prioritized our relationship or the family we made; just herself. People like that don’t change so cut your losses and get the hell out
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 10:27 PM
6

Well, I’m 41 now but she wants no fault so in my state we have to live at separate addresses for a full calendar year. As she refuses to move out so she can live rent free, I will probably have things finalized by the time I turn 80. If she doesn’t kill me first
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:36 PM
2

Yes. It’s going very slowly
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 06:53 PM
26

Hate to say this, but if the affair has been going 5 years and your kid is 4, you might want to take a paternity test. I did this with my youngest (he’s mine) due to similar circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 10:28 PM
2

I got one friend I can call or I hit up my brother. They’re the only people I trust enough
/r/MensRights15/07/24 03:59 PM
1

Elementary school age
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 04:49 AM
12

I didn’t know that’s what I’m dealing with until the process started. She literally can’t accept that she’s done anything wrong. She seems to think it’s fine to just break up with someone out of the blue but demand they continue to provide for all her needs. She won’t leave the house and I’m paying every bill in full. She works but says she doesn’t have the money to contribute but always has money to go out with friends and shit. Living like this is pure hell. I want to heal and move on, but I’m…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 08:57 PM
3

Nope. I’m finally doing the same and trying to build a new career
/r/MensRights07/07/24 10:00 PM
11

How’s it worse for women? A man being raped can still cause conception and then his attacker could get him on the hook for child support for 18 years. The victim in that scenario has no options outside the legal system and can’t force a termination
/r/MensRights05/07/24 03:44 PM
3

I’m not opposed to cohabitation again, but she’s going to have to understand that we’re treating it like a rental complete with legal agreements just for my protection. I know one couple that divorced and then remarried each other but live apart so it’s really what works for you. If you let her know you’ve been hurt and you’re just protecting yourself she should understand
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 11:32 PM
4

Personally I find #8 attractive but, yeah, most of those types are pure nuts
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 03:00 PM
13

Strong emotions bring out the real person
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/24 11:46 PM
15

Yes. Mine is currently doing that. I ended up hiring a PI and I’ve got proof that when “she’s got the kids” she’s leaving them with one of her parents and going out all day. I’m pretty sure to have an affair which we’re also hoping to prove
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 05:45 PM
10

Not to come off callous, but be thankful you have something to split. Mine spent everything, including having me cash out 401ks. She’s built up a ton of debt so I’m actually afraid that’s going to get split 50/50 and I have to keep paying for her bad decisions
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 10:51 PM
4

She always had someone more important then me Edit and her mom’s on marriage 5 and taught her to always have an escape plan
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 04:52 PM
8

All the other responses here are well thought out, but I’d like to summarize with “bitches be crazy”
/r/MensRights19/06/24 04:31 PM
1

This hit way close. Were you married to my stbx?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 11:51 PM
1

I’m in a similar boat as you. I made sure to lawyer up as soon as I knew it was over to ensure I got a good one and now I’m protected from her legally and my dude is fighting for ME so I’m hoping once I get free of her and the dust settles, I’ll be better off financially. First thing i did to fight the spending was to have my paycheck deposited to an account she can’t touch. I transfer over funds to the joint account that bills come out of when needed. I already have been able to start getting a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 10:21 PM
5

If she’s like my stbx, both
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/24 12:11 AM
10

I felt like a failure when she dropped the “I don’t love you anymore” bomb, but as soon as she spent time living out of the house I became a new man, energetic, getting things done, super dad stuff. Now I realize I’m a better man without her even though the divorce is really just beginning legal wise
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:19 PM
3

No equivalent. The draft should be coed.
/r/MensRights31/05/24 03:50 PM
1

Don’t completely discount marriage; there were some truly great parts and times. Just if you do it, get a prenup. Think of it as marriage insurance. You don’t want to use it but you’re protected just in case
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 10:24 PM
5

Pretty much same boat. Just after our 14 year anniversary, she drops “I don’t love you anymore” on me. We tried counseling but she was just in it for the show. Mine also has an avoidant personality so we haven’t had a talk about moving forward in over 2 months. She’s still living in the house but not contributing to bills and spends all her money having fun. Don’t be played a fool like I was. Get a lawyer. It’s expensive, but saves money in the long run
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 05:22 PM
1

It’s like looking in a mirror except it’s her mothers who is the narcissist
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 08:26 PM
185

I’m gonna take heat for this, but the whole “me too” movement. Any allegations made during that time against men was immediately taken at face value and many great artists and performers got majorly hurt. Just look at what happened to Johnny Depp. Thankfully he got cleared, but a lot of false allegations were thrown around and male media personalities were dropping like flies
/r/MensRights21/05/24 12:47 PM
6

The draft needs to be co Ed
/r/MensRights20/05/24 12:00 PM
2

I concede your point but again point out the absurdity of the hypothetical itself
/r/MensRights07/05/24 09:12 PM
24

Calling it a response is a way to avoid accountability for their beliefs. Racists use the same argument to justify their views
/r/MensRights07/05/24 02:19 PM
1

I find the entire question at hand so absurd that comedy seems the only appropriate response. The hypothetical is missing so many variables it’s stupid and just designed to make men as a whole seem dangerous
/r/MensRights07/05/24 01:55 PM
1

Jfc, you guys can’t take a joke. I thought us dudes had fun with this kind of stuff
/r/MensRights07/05/24 01:06 PM
1

It’s a joke but you should watch the movie if you haven’t
/r/MensRights07/05/24 11:39 AM
-7

Go watch deliverance and see if you’d still want to run into a stranger in the woods
/r/MensRights07/05/24 10:49 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter