lastmorningdawn Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
64	High Value, Low Value, and what any of it means	DATING THEORY	lastmorningdawn	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	09/03/20 04:38 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
20	Divorce is final on the 15th: Yes she knew (and told me about it but only in detail once I was in my mid-twenties). It is a fucked up thing. My grandfather apparently was much worse to my father, and my great-grandmother held my grandfathers hand over an open flame at a similar age. Meanwhile she grew up in an orphanage so who even knows what she went through. So deep intergenerational trauma, but even so I think you are right, as a parent you cannot excuse and forgive and pretend it will be okay. My gut instinct is those me…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 12:34 PM
75	Divorce is final on the 15th: I would just like to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I learned a few years ago that my father slapped me in the face more than once when I was a toddler. My mom eventually left but it took another 5 years. Since learning that my entire world view has shifted—I always thought I just happened to be an anxious and insecure person and suddenly it was like well what would you expect that kid to grow up like? Furious as I am at my father it’s also hard for me to forgive my mother for lettin…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/01/20 12:13 PM
2	My new FDS: Every time I am tempted to check out OLD, or text back my LVM ex, I start looking for the exact right dog to adopt. At least this way there might be one reliable male in my life. I hope you can find what you’re looking for. I’ve found it very difficult to find “doodle” breeders who are serious about health testing. Finding a poodle or Portuguese Water Dog breeder who’s producing a temperament you like might be much easier than finding a good Sheepadoodle breeder, depending on where you’re located. To be clear, I have no issue at all with people buying dogs from responsible breeders. I just think if you’re going that route you want to be sure you’re getting the traits tha…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	06/01/20 01:58 AM
4	My new FDS: Every time I am tempted to check out OLD, or text back my LVM ex, I start looking for the exact right dog to adopt. At least this way there might be one reliable male in my life. Maybe not FDS-relevant, but I’d recommend heading over to /r/dogs for a discussion of issues with doodle breeders. It’s very very hard to find breeders that do the recommended health testing for the parents, and you can’t know ahead of time which puppies will end up with a hypoallergenic coat. You’d likely be better off finding an individual dog of an established hypoallergenic breed that fits what you’re looking for rather than getting a doodle.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/01/20 01:59 AM
20	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Explain to FDS what a rapist looks, talks, and acts like. Also provide a full proof way to know they’re not safe to be alone with before you’re actually alone. [Trigger Warning] The guys who say that stuff are mad because they were mistaken for the rapists. They mean well, but they don't phrase it properly and end up creeping others out. They just haven't grown up enough to see the other persons perspective. Are you sure these are nice men who were accidentally mistaken for rapists and not....rapists? Most rapists don’t identify what they’re doing as rape. They might think of it as getting a woman too drunk to say no, putting her in a position where she’ll say no but me…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	31/12/19 08:31 PM
3	If you're one of the people here who is with a truly HVM for the long haul, why are you here, and what convinced you they're HV? And yes, every once in a while doing things all wrong turns out fine anyway. :) Haha so true! It's not a thing where you're just perfect at it one day and then you're all set. Totally agreed. But again, goes for so many different things in life!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/12/19 12:18 PM
32	If you're one of the people here who is with a truly HVM for the long haul, why are you here, and what convinced you they're HV? I’m interested to hear everyone’s take on this. I’m here because while my husband is a HVM, I was a total pickme, really until after we were married. It’s only in the last two years or so (and a lot of therapy) that I’ve started valuing myself and seeing how much I bring to our relationship. Finding this sub was eye-opening and has actually helped me resolve a lot of old hurt from my college dating days (I wasn’t unloveable! They were just emotionally stunted man boys!!) I feel like I can’t give…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	22/12/19 05:04 AM
14	Lurkers, here is the secret amoral and toxic strategy Appropriate timelines for dating depend so much on age and what you’re looking for too. Expecting engagement within a year in your early twenties is silly, both of you are still figuring out who you are and where you’re going, and it should be a time of personal growth, which can bring changes to how compatible you are. But for people in their 30s+ who have careers, have been in a couple relationships, and are looking to have kids it seems like after a year you should have a pretty good idea of …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	21/12/19 04:49 AM
5	Need help with devising exit strategy How intertwined are your finances currently? Is your name on a lease? Is your boyfriend’s? Buying a house is serious and will involve some action on your part (signing papers, submitting documents). You can’t stop your father selling his house to your boyfriend, but you can keep your name off the mortgage if you tell them no. Do you have any money of your own? Could you afford to stay in a motel or Airbnb for a period? It seems to me your priorities are * physical safety * a place to live * taki…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	20/12/19 01:46 PM
31	So I posted this and my ex “liked” it and immediately sent me a cute text and selfie. He hasn’t been in touch in over a month. We were together 7-8 years, he put off marriage forever, he told me he wasn’t in love with me last Valentine’s Day. How do I respond? Or do I? When you posted this on social media you might as well have just texted your ex “miss you”. Because frankly, “caring too much” is NOT a toxic trait, it is the mark of a loving person who isn’t a sociopath. You essentially apologized to your dbag ex for being a normal person who wanted a loving relationship, and he accepted that apology by messaging you. Posting this status is in itself the exact “begging” the status is referencing! Plus you made it public so your whole social circle knows you’re…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	14/12/19 12:08 PM
8	This is what happens when you marry a LVM....a low effort husband that takes you for granted When they first started dating my FIL told my MIL he didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. She said “okay I don’t have to get you anything. But I do celebrate it so I’ll be expecting dinner and a gift!” He celebrates Valentine’s Day now 😂	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/12/19 02:46 PM
38	LVM really out here looking for a maid/therapist/cook/sex object But if a therapist could help them that would make them jUsT Lyke OtHer pEoPle....not the truly truly unique special snowflakes they know they are! No, only you and your mystical vagina magic have the power!!!	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/12/19 01:04 PM
10	Do not date a man based on his potential. This kind of depends on your age bracket, but there are “successful” people at every age. In high school, that looks like getting great grades, being successful in extracurricular activities, and having a strong social network. College is similar but toss in getting some internships or research experiences. Throughout their twenties, successful people are making savvy career moves, networking, and building their professional credentials. Certainly people can hit bumps in the road—not all med stu…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	12/12/19 04:25 AM
10	Questioning myself regarding texting... Maybe I’m cynical but that “not sure you’re having a good time” seems kind of ominous to me. At best it’s fishing for complements, at worse it’s like he wants you drunk/hitting on him/offering to come over and when he doesn’t get it he’s gonna try and make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. It’s almost a neg? He didn’t like your performance and wants you to do better?	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	11/12/19 09:57 PM
10	OPEN Q&A THREAD FOR MEN: Of What Use Is A Man to A Woman? Males, come justify your existence to FDS in the comments! The Floor Is Yours! How, pray tell, would you have any clue what percentage of men dump all their problems on the first woman who will listen to them? You’re a man, so it’s not like other men dump their problems on you. As a woman I can tell you that it is the majority of men I’ve met. All through college I found this incredibly flattering, surely all my guy friends thought I was just the most thoughtful and intuitive and special person they knew! Only I could help them solve their many social/emotional/childhood p…	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/12/19 11:11 PM
5	When the juice IS worth the squeeze but he has issues If he’s actively in therapy right now your odds are way better. The problem is, the “only sometimes” being trash at communication is the red flag right there. Most people are good communicators when nothing is at stake. The hard part is to be a good communicator while feeling hurt, defensive, jealous, scared, and angry. And to be honest, unresolved trauma really makes that harder because there is a well of hurt ticking just below the surface. If this gentleman is in therapy, is actively working …	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	10/12/19 01:19 PM
36	Never take a man back. I feel like people confuse hard work and consistent work. Relationships take consistent maintenance, choosing to focus some amount of energy on someone else even once the initial high’s worn off and you’re having a rough week, making the effort to empathize even when disconnecting is easier in the moment. But that stuff is not really “hard”, just hard to do consistently and well.	/r/FemaleDatingStrategy	05/12/19 12:36 PM