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learningtomom Archive

View 9 posts and 96 comments by learningtomom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I think, if you plan on getting married, you need to be rowing the same boat in the same direction. I’d opt for honesty and consulting with him: “maybe it’s still better for us to have some emergency backup cash instead of spending it; what do you think?” ...I’ve placed a very big IF clause in this suggestion.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/20 12:38 PM
2

I definitely didn’t know this when I used the phrase in a recent post. I thought it was synonymous with aging and the reality that we are typically more attractive, etc. in our 30s than, say, 40s and up.
/r/RedPillWives02/07/20 12:12 AM
0

I should note - I just learned the term "the wall" yesterday from another comment on this sub. It seems everyone's take on this is, of course, informed by personal situations. I'm married (been with the love of my life, thankfully, for many years) and we're somewhat new parents. I just think it's interesting how a RPW might evolve over the course of her life and of a relationship and as she shifts roles, etc. Thanks, all!
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/20 02:58 AM
14

Maybe I should have also phrased the question as more general - how do things change, if at all, across the lifespan for a RPW aspiring to improve?
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/20 06:16 PM
1

I'd like to join this group chat! Always trying to improve & I should get more specific in my goals.
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/20 05:38 PM
1

Thank you! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that you'll have a little one join you soon! We started late, too, obviously. :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/20 05:32 PM
3

I'm also post-wall then! Also married. Just turned 38, we have a toddler and are trying for a second (fingers crossed)!
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/20 04:16 PM
3

This is so sweet! What does post-wall mean? That your now in the category of Advanced maternal age?
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/20 03:15 PM
1

Thank you! Do you have recommendations for favorite lightweight/light support bras or favorite tops that have minimal to no polyester? I have noticed my own BO at home with a toddler these days (all the running around? Warm weather? Hormone changes? It’s no good and I’m wanting to solve the problem.)... I think this polyester suggestion is an important consideration. Thanks again!
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/20 07:34 PM
2

Wow! Kudos! ETA: Did you experience headaches or other difficulties in your first fasts?
/r/RedPillWives05/04/20 01:35 AM
1

How long were tour fasts?
/r/RedPillWives05/04/20 01:04 AM
14

I also lean more toward this stance. Rather than fighting over such issues, you can grow together while imagining the life you want to build with one another. My more important question would be how much you really love him, can envision him as your best captain, and if you truly want to spend your life with him & he you. Also, narcissistic parents can do a number on your self-esteem. You might inaccurately view others as having value that you don’t. We are all just people doing our best. I’d fo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/19 01:54 AM
24

When I have moments of those inner grumbling bubbling up, I turn to gratitude & thinking of all the things he does, including those that I might not notice each day. I’m almost always exceedingly grateful for my fortunate life, but when I’m extra tired, I can let that slip, so I think of specific things that I’m thankful for. And, I think the overall trend of selfishness over serving is, in fact, a trend impacting almost everyone in modern society, sadly. I hope to do everything I can to raise o…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 12:58 PM
11

Maybe help him know or reiterate the idea that you’d follow his lead if he’d like to change jobs or move. And, I’d think it’s okay to talk about your own stuff when it’s appropriate. At least for me, my husband would notice if I had something on my mind, so it’s better if I talk about it.
/r/RedPillWives19/09/19 09:18 PM
2

These sound fabulous! What is the brand or style?
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 04:15 PM
4

It’s crazy how easily people make broad assumptions & stick with them despite evidence. Red pill women are not victims or backwards or behind the times. Women of this subreddit make a wide range of choices (E.g. high-power careers or those that require higher ed, SAHM at early ages or those that switch across these roles throughout their longboard and usually happy marriages), all of which can align with red pill views. I think people just turn to such namecalling because they don’t know of bett…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 12:54 PM
1

Sure! I’m 37 and still in the process of losing baby weight & trying to shape up again. My baby is 6 months & I’m within ten pounds of prepregnancy weight, but I’ve been having too many unhealthy days mixed in recently...
/r/RedPillWives27/08/19 01:12 PM
2

I listened to a bunch of audiobooks that were available at my library. And read the bump & the what to expect website. Congrats! If you’re expecting)
/r/RedPillWives24/08/19 07:25 PM
3

A friend of mine got me a gift set for a healthy meal delivery service in my area. That was nice because it’s helpful, unobtrusive, and flexible in terms of when we use it.
/r/RedPillWives24/08/19 03:21 PM
3

Years ago, I started a goodreads challenge & it helped me get back into reading for pleasure & reducing time spent with garbage tv. Spending time experimenting with cooking, various workouts, and fashion might be helpful & fun. Your time is so different when you’re single. Enjoy!
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/19 05:47 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives04/08/19 05:16 PM
1

Your question doesn’t align with my post, which focuses on my own goals of slimming and creating a nice aroma/atmosphere; you assume these were his goals. There have been no demands - inherently, implicitly, or explicitly. To the contrary, his comments about my body have only ever been positive.
/r/RedPillWives03/08/19 11:04 AM
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Kudos on your progress! What’s working for you?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 10:46 PM
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Lose body fat by eating fewer processed/more Whole Foods & doing some basic weight training.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 10:45 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives30/06/19 07:52 PM
2

Thank you! I’ll look into this idea. And congrats on your newborn! I’m a first-time mom to our 4.5-month-old, so our children are close in age.
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 06:06 PM
1

These are excellent tips; thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 06:05 PM
1

Oh! I’m going to look into an oil burner - thank you! I usually cook during baby’s one long nap (late morning/early afternoon each day), but I haven’t been opening the windows. I’ll start doing that during & after cooking. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 06:04 PM
1

Thanks!!
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 07:10 AM
1

Good call with the freezer! Ours is full of breast milk and a little food for ourselves at the moment, but I can reduce the amount of frozen food we have in the upcoming weeks. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 04:50 AM
1

Ok! I will try turning the stove fan on high, maybe purchase a small fan, and open the windows while cooking. Maybe I’m using too much onion. I’m mostly stirfrying on the stove, and I sometimes roast veggies. thanks!
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 04:49 AM
2

This is a good point. I just thought that since he said the house smelled really bad a few days ago & that the smell was still present, that it might bother him but he doesn’t want me to stress. But yes, I agree with you - he certainly wants me to strive for health (we are hoping to have another baby & a diet of veggies and protein will certainly help more than a diet of overeating prepackaged food. This choice is also potentially better for our current EBF baby.) thank you!
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 04:46 AM
3

Hmmm boiling or baking apple with cinnamon sticks sounds like a great idea for making the home smell nice and giving us a sweet treat! I’ll add cinnamon sticks to my grocery list! Thanks! Our home is fairly small & open plan, so I can’t think of another location to cook in, though I’ll let this idea percolate a bit to see if I can think of somewhere. I usually cook during baby’s nap (late morning/early afternoon), so I could cook with the windows open & then cook the cinnamon apple a bit later. …
/r/RedPillWives27/06/19 04:42 AM
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Oh I’m excited for you & your husband! We also waited to try, and then it took us a long time once we did start trying. Timing is wonderful now, though. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/19 10:42 PM
6

You might like to listen to Laura Doyle’s new book Kill All the Marriage Counselors. I can’t recommend it since I haven’t listened yet, but it’s a follow-up from The Surrendered Wife. And think to yourself with all your actions: would I rather win the battle/be right OR feel safe and loved and desired?
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 11:14 AM
4

This kinda stinks for those of us who purchased but don’t use Facebook.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/19 06:51 PM
3

Did you read the original fascinating womanhood, too? I only have the timeless version & wondered about the differences from the original.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/19 06:51 PM
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Thankful for my amazing husband and son, who is four months old now. We were DINKS for so long & were eager to start a family. I’m thankful for the many incredible memories from our time as a couple only & I’m 🥰 loving this new season of life at home. I’m very thankful for a generous maternity leave, and for my baby’s smiles when I greet him as he wakes up, and my husband being an amazing father and role model who will help our son become a strong man.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/19 04:46 PM
1

Thank you! I think the munchkin is one I have in my list. :) it’s great to read someone’s positive experience.
/r/RedPillWives26/05/19 06:25 AM
1

Congrats! I’m glad ppa is getting better!
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 11:22 PM
2

Hmmm, good point about the smell - you just reminded me that the pediatrician even suggested that my husband try giving baby a bottle in the car and/or when I'm out completely. Thanks! I think my little guy comfort nurses a lot, too. How are YOU doing? Is this your first baby? It's our first, and it's so amazing. I'd like to lose weight to get back to pre-pregnancy weight, but it's slow & tough going. I admittedly lack discipline sometimes. :)
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 05:12 PM
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I cook veggies with a bunch of fat & husband loves it. For example, I fry up some bacon, remove it from the pan when done, then fry onions, apple, & garlic in the bacon fat, add a bunch of cabbage or coleslaw mix and vinegar (apple cider or balsamic) & cook until it wilts, then re-add the broken up bacon (and I add spices along the way - mostly pepper, salt - pretty simple). He also loves pesto & Asian, so I make spaghetti squash with pesto or stir-fry some veggies with sesame oil & a stir-fry s…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/19 05:09 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 04:53 PM
2

Oh wow! I'll look into some sip cups, then! Thank you.
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 04:53 PM
2

Trying it now - our baby is about 3.5 months & we haven’t had luck yet. I will be going back to work in two months, so we know we have to figure something out!
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 03:44 PM
1

Thank you! Do you recall how many months your baby was when they started using the cups?
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 03:43 PM
2

If you exclusively breastfed, did your baby ever take a bottle? How did you encourage it? My pediatrician said some babies skip the bottle and can go from drinking from the breast to drinking from sippy cups...
/r/RedPillWives25/05/19 02:19 PM
2

I'm sorry you had to go through that! I injured my knee recently & it's been quite annoying and limiting, but it's thankfully getting better. (I went for my first walk around the neighborhood yesterday, but I still can't really squat, jog, etc.) I agree with the mental & physical health - usually I think of exercise as benefiting my mental health, too! Thanks for all these ideas & yay for your healing.
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 12:13 PM
1

I just read on Mrs. Midwest's blog of "ABM" - always be moving. It reminded me of your comment! Good points about our cycle, too, and overall awareness of our bodies. :) Thanks!
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 12:12 PM
1

Oh wow - personal trainer sounds fabulous! I purchased an online postpartum workout program (from a YouTube whose videos I liked during pregnancy). For now, I can only do the arm workouts until my leg heals. At least I was finally able to go for a walk again yesterday! (I had injured my knee, which limited my ability to walk/jog, do squats, etc.) I like the plan of IF on just some days rather than having it be an everyday rule. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 12:11 PM
1

Saying no in order to prioritize my family is my main goal this year, especially when I return to work from maternity leave. I want to continue being a great employee & responsible person in all circles of life, but my husband and son are #1 (and my health). Thank you for this reminder! I wonder if there is ever a recipe thread on this subreddit? It sounds like you have a wonderful routine in terms of cooking! ETA: We are starting to learn more about homesteading (baby steps) and are hoping to g…
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 12:08 PM
2

How wonderful! Thank you for the inspiration. :)
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 12:06 PM
2

Do you all know if there is a big difference between the original Fascinating Womanhood book and the new Fascinating Womanhood for the Timeless Woman? I have the latter arriving in the mail tomorrow, and as I watch some youtube videos, I'm wondering if I should have ordered the original... ?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/19 07:25 PM
2

Who do you feel more in love with & can imagine growing old with?
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/19 02:50 PM
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Reading novels - I’ve been on a historical fiction kick & I’m reading the sequel to Pillars if the Earth now. Figuring out a temporary wardrobe for my postpartum body, and organizing my clothes so that I can grab clothes easily once I start interacting with people beyond husband and baby & when I’m back at work. (I’ve tried to wear nighties & black tanks & pants that are easy for nursing and also hopefully attractive for husband, but I can only wear these at home, of course. I need to feel good …
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/19 05:00 PM
2

Hooray! !! I'd been in the same healthy (not super skinny) weight range for about 14 years, and now I have a 3-month-old <3... and I have to work on losing weight. My goal is to lose 20 pounds, though I could probably lose more. As of this morning, I'm 158 at 5'7'' (but a LOT of body fat & not much muscle). It's been hard for me - I've yoyo'ed in weight since birth. Irregular sleep, a lack of a clear schedule/routine, EBF and staying at home, and fear of losing my milk have been my excuses, but …
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/19 11:36 AM
1

Hi! Is there a group chat for this shared effort? I'd love to join! Would a weekly post make sense?
/r/RedPillWomen20/05/19 11:00 AM
2

How wonderful about the compliments! Kudos! Would you have any interest in a weight loss accountability buddy on reddit? I just had a baby 3 months ago & it’s so easy for me to overeat while I’m at home with our baby. I’m incredibly fortunate with my wonderful husband and son, and my weight is the only downer in my life at the moment. I feel ashamed about it since I could have control over the issue.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/19 06:31 PM
1

How is your weight loss journey going? I know this post is old, but I just searched “weight” in this subreddit...I am desperately needing to get control over my eating habits since I’ve had a baby 3 months ago. I’ve been failing & feeling ashamed & hoping to do better. It would be great to have a like-minded accountability buddy.
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/19 06:29 PM
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I’m really failing in making healthy food choices since having my baby (and honestly also through a part of pregnancy). My baby is three months old & my weight is yoyoing, and I’m frustrated and ashamed. I want to be my best for my husband and son, and I keep overeating while I’m in this SAHM phase. I am lacking self control. 😞
/r/RedPillWomen18/05/19 06:22 PM
1

Thanks so much! :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/19 07:33 AM
1

Do you have any brand that has been especially great for you? This seems like a great tip!
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/19 12:56 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 09:03 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 09:02 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 09:02 AM
4

Do you have any favorites from amazon? I find it really hit or miss in terms of quality, even among the highly rated ones.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 12:49 AM
6

Do you have any favorite brands or styles of dress that you’ve found align with your a-line style? I’d love any recommendations. I have a couple of Boden a-line wrap/button down shirt dresses but I need to buy a couple until I lose the baby weight.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 12:48 AM
0

Before communicating with him, I’d sort my own feelings out first. I can’t tell if you’re head over heels for him or not. Everything you’ve written is more practical/matter-of-fact or strategic seeming. Of course it’s good to be aware of these things, but how do you feel about him? How do you feel imagining a shared future? Do you want the same things & share similar values? How do you imagine you’d feel if it’s over? Ultimatums aren’t very loving, so I might try to communicate your feelings mor…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 09:59 AM
4

Each couple needs to do what is right for them for their wedding - which means, as always, that husband’s desires are prioritized far higher than parents, friends, societal expectations, etc. Ask what your partner wants, truly listen, and consider this in your planning. I think there is research somewhere suggesting that the smaller the wedding, the longer the marriage, or that it just so happened that people who spent tons or went into debt for a party happened to have higher divorce rates. Con…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 02:19 PM
1

Thank you so much!
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 08:49 PM
1

Wonderful! Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 08:49 PM
1

How did you develop structure with an infant? I’m a new mom and now that my baby is almost 8 weeks, I can imagine and feel eager for some routine. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 05:56 PM
2

What does MOP stand for? I might look into whether there is a group in my area. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 05:52 PM
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Goals for myself: Goal: lose 2-5 pounds. Plan: Exercise at least 5 times each week - light exercise for now until I’m cleared for full exercise in 2 weeks, then increase intensity of weight-focused exercises. Track food intake at least 5 times each week. Continue building a freezer stash of breast milk. Develop some kind of routine for the month (I’m on maternity leave and our baby is just 6 weeks old.). Continue to build a freezer stash of breast milk.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/19 05:33 PM
4

How could your ambitions be linked to his? Could he start applying to the jobs that most appeal to him without regard to potential location of your future school? It might help if he feels he’s leading the family ambition while also supporting your ambitions. You both need to be pulling on the same rope.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 12:28 PM
2

Oh wow, I wouldn’t have thought of that source! Mr. L and I used to enjoy watching tv show together (albeit not romances, ha!), and now there aren’t any of true interest for us anymore, which is also a bummer. All the other traditional themes seem to be gone from tv & movies, too (ambition, struggle for power, tired of passage, healthy father/son or other kinds of relationships, etc.)
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 01:23 PM
31

The worst is how mean/rude/condescending the women are to men. I see this pattern in a lot of commercials - the man tries to do something and then woman swoops in efficiently to do it and then laugh at/make fun of the man. Equally bad is the lack of romance in TV and movies these fats. I miss the early days of grey’s anatomy, for instance, with characters who were ambitious in career and searching for love seriously. Now, great love is in the background with more of a focus on hooking up & chara…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/19 05:24 AM
18

I mostly worry for younger people - not just women - who would likely love to be in love, but have struggles finding a good partner. Societal shifts (e.g., Tinder) do seem to make it harder for people to develop normal, loving relationships. I also question myself sometimes - I want everyone to be in love and in a happy relationship - and then I remember that what is best for me might not be best for others. I have cognitive dissonance about this topic, though, because I also do think everyone i…
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/19 06:04 PM
1

Partly due to all the birth control pills - ladies pee out a bunch of these hormones, which then get into the water supply.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 08:53 PM
2

I think the societal shifts across generations makes it hard for any woman to have one older role model/mentor. Sometimes, I think a lot about not only what I'd like to emulate from older women, but also about what I'd like to avoid...
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 07:38 PM
2

I remember feeling that he and I were more similar to each other than I was to anyone in my life up to that point - within the first few months of our relationship. And then lots of affirmations over the years - we took a LONG time to get married, and when I realized I'd rather be with him than just be married to someone, that was also an important sign. Nowadays, I just feel it when I look at him sleeping and feel how calm & peaceful our home is & how we've set things up for ourselves over time…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 07:33 PM
2

If I were in your shoes, I'd research and do egg retrievals and freeze eggs ASAP. Do everything to show you're on the market, date, and then I would avoid telling any potential man about the eggs until things were really serious. Bringing it up too early would weird him out. Lots of people are first-time parents in their 40s, but the risks of miscarriage, etc. are higher the longer we women wait (thus, if you have the financial ability, I'd do the ER sooner rather than later). These comments are…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 07:25 PM
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How cool! What kind of book are you writing?
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 06:51 PM
2

Mr. L has mentioned that smart/discerning men choose a woman who will stay interesting and compatible even after her looks fade (because in reality, no matter what we do to stay fit, we know that we aren't as attractive at 65 as compared with age 25).
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 06:47 PM
2

I appreciated your input - I was able to read the comment before it was deleted. I don't understand having such a rule apply to all possible contexts and posts.
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/19 06:44 PM
1

This question is a bit too broad, as it would depend on each individual's and couple's experiences and a variety of factors relevant to each situation. Lots of RPW also have careers, and lots of RP marriages require two incomes.
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 01:28 AM
2

This is great to read. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/19 04:46 PM
2

Thank you! It's super helpful to read your experiences and remember how moms and dads offer our children different, complementary features of parenting. i am certainly hoping to breastfeed exclusively for at least the first 6 months, though I've read people have mixed experiences. I've learned as much as I can for now, and I hope it will work out well for us. :) Did you have a preferred baby carrier for around the house? I'm planning on being a hermit for the first few months of baby's life, and…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/19 12:12 AM
1

Wow, what a lot of wonderful advice! I do have a wrap top that I thought I would give away (because it's too low-cut for work, which was my original intention), and I have another one that I also use only at home (but of course, I haven't used it in a long time at this point). Great tip! I just got my hair cut since I know it won't be my priority for a while, and I'm disappointed that she didn't do it quite as nicely as I'd hoped. Still, I'll do my best! It seems like you and others have a great…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/19 12:08 AM
1

Thank you so much for these book recommendations! I'm going to see if they're available via Overdrive now! :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 11:46 PM
1

Yes to modeling and bringing children into great relationships! Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 11:45 PM
1

Thank you! I have this tab opened, but haven't sunk my teeth into it yet: https://philosophyofmotherhood.com/2019/01/10/a-beginners-guide-to-dr-jordan-peterson-clip-collection-1-motherhood/ Great point about how parenthood shifts over the years, too. :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 11:44 PM
2

Great point! Parents/partners should always be pulling the same rope in the same direction!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 11:43 PM
3

Thank you! I can imagine it would be hard to focus on each other when your overlapping time at home is limited. You're a rockstar! It's helpful for me to read how the male bonding like playful roughhousing can start even in the first year; I hadn't thought of that. I also LOVE your focus on helping our son to know boundaries and avoid terrible consequences but also affording him the opportunity to learn some of these for himself (within what's reasonable for safety). It's a great idea. Yes, I've…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 03:09 PM
1

Your insights from experience are super helpful! Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 03:04 PM
1

I think it's important to make decisions - each day - that help you invest in your future self. This decision-making is not just about appearance/fitness, but also establishing that you have a secure way of self-sustaining more generally. Yes, it's worth it. At 36, I can say a lot of friends continued making bad choices, or made a mix of good & bad choices, or made steadily good choices. It all adds up to creating a life that makes you fulfilled or unfulfilled.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 12:53 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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