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leegiovanni Archive

View 2 posts and 83 comments by leegiovanni on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Most comments so far miss your point so I’m going to address it directly. I do agree with your action plan: (I) proceed with the formal divorce regardless. Get a lawyer asap and keep evidence of her emotional adultery + get your finances in order. (II) see how it works out on a day to day basis if you have children and want to minimize disruption. It is also good that you can deal with the legal side of things while not being embroiled in managing operation changes too. That being said, it is ha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 02:53 AM
1

You must be Singaporean. Unfortunately you are quite f-ed because we have the worst laws in the world for men. Get a lawyer ASAP. Ignore her arguments about how she is leaving the money due to you to your children. You can do that instead! She is robbing you by not paying you what you are due, despite the agreement already being tilted in your favour.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 09:56 AM
3

As a law-abiding citizen that never had any interactions with the police prior, it was such an eye opening experience to see how biased law enforcement is. And how easily women can weaponise them. In my previous marriage, I had never raised my hand or even shouted at my ex-wife. I was the silent, stoic, (yes sometimes emotionless) one while she was the loud, fiery one and had during arguments scratched, bitten and pulled a knife on me. Yet someone the reaction of policemen whom she called when t…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:30 AM
5

The ring is just a thing. The more important question is who threw away the relationship? The hours and effort put in picking out the ring, the engagement day, the ceremony, all these were serving the relationship, not the other way around. It isn’t the ring that’s not respected. But the relationship
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:27 PM
10

Unless you want to sign up for taking care of someone else’s kids, dating single moms is not a great proposition. And you don’t need something bad to be done to you to walk away from a date. Dude, you are not a prisoner. If you enjoy the relationship by all means stay in it, but you don’t need to be mistreated to walk away.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:39 AM
8

Think of it this way. If you upgraded your home would you be angry at the guy who bought your old home? If you upgraded your bed, would you be angry at the guy who bought your old bed? Now you’re just upgrading your old life. Focus on the future. You can and you will find a better life, a better home, a better restaurant, a better bed, a better partner.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:25 AM
11

I’ve been through the same headspace. Ex wanted to keep the house and I was going mad thinking the guy would sleep where I used to sleep, sit on my couch and basically take my life. Now I couldn’t give a sh*t, because I’m living a better life. I know it is hard to imagine but you are getting a good deal. You are no longer shackled to someone who doesn’t love you and you have all the freedom to make your life better. And it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 04:02 AM
2

Was the buyer in anyway related to you or known to you? If so, even if you didn’t sell at a “good price”, no sensible judge is going to revisit that issue. There are tons of transactions each day that are overvalued and tons that are undervalued. There is no way courts would get involved in determining a “fair value” or even more ludicrous, what’s the “best way to get the highest valuation”.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:05 AM
7

If she’s going through your bank accounts and business, then you’re going through everything too. Don’t accept her excuses. She is the one being petty. When I divorced, it was a simple case of what was mine remained mine and what was hers remained hers. So there was no need to go through anything beyond the property. If she’s going through your stuff, you better go through everything. The “for daughter” logic doesn’t hold because whatever you are holding and building for can be for your daughter…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 01:11 AM
6

Continue to delude yourself. If they haven't emotionally completed their monkey-branching, you wouldn't have gotten the "love you but not in love with you" speech nonsense. Read up the experiences other men in this sub and you will know what I"m talking about. I'm sorry to have to speak so harshly. Please know that I'm saying this out of love and empathy for someone who went through the same.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 02:26 PM
3

Divorce isn’t holding me back from anything. The fact that I have responsibilities, including my child caring schedule, does. It does stop me from moving to a low COL location and just living off passive income. But this isn’t strictly a moving-on from divorce issue. Why let divorce or your ex wife complaining hold you back? I’m dating, I’m learning how to identify red flags, I’m learning to overcome my own weaknesses and issues. I’m trying to become a better person, and to also learn how to enj…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 06:18 AM
1

How dense can you be? A thought police? A forum that is supposed to be for discussion becomes an echo chamber where people are policed for not having the right views. Wow, what’s that called, maybe FACISM?
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 06:59 PM
-4

Because the vast vast majority of men are logical and we like to have both reasonable men and women in our midst. Whereas while the majority of women are logical, there is a significant percentage that isn’t that dominates left wing/misandrist platforms such as Reddit. These are safe places for them to be sexist and misandrist in their echo chambers so they don’t allow logic or dissenting voices in. Case in point: I had a 7 day reddit wide ban for just pointing out that lesbians had the highest …
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 07:43 AM
2

That means a lot of hands on during the week and living close together I suppose
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 04:05 PM
4

What kind of custody schedule do you have?
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 03:53 PM
3

I had to take the higher ground often during the process but for this I don’t see why there is a need to. She isn’t going to admit her fault when asked. Most likely they will focus on what supposedly made them unhappy and put all the blame on their ex husband for supposedly failing to meet her needs. If it was the other way around, the man would be shamed for having an affair or a mistress very publicly.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 02:02 AM
14

It sounds like you, like many men, built your life around your ex wife and your life revolved around hers. That’s why you feel lost and miserable without a center of gravity. Take this opportunity to know how to center your own life around your goals and what you want to get out of life. Objectively she’s giving you a chance to get an upgrade on your partner. You had her for 17 years, now it’s time to get a younger, better looking partner with better personality. Be grateful to her for giving yo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 08:59 AM
17

Your response to women violating the rights of men is “find better women”? Just imagine applying that logic to women, telling women domestic abuse victims “find a good men in church or library instead of at bars”. See if you’ll get a reddit wide ban.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:26 AM
7

I leave my toilet seat up or down depending on how I last used it. Never had a problem with my ex-wife nor any of my girlfriends since. It’s a damn stupid thing that infected America is what I hear. Nearly as stupid as promposals and spending 3 months on salary on a cheap carbon rock. Ask any Asian woman how she reacts if the toilet seat is up.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 12:15 PM
5

Dude, are you expecting her to honour and treasure the marriage and relationship at this point? Unless this is a minority case and you were the one cheating / leaving, your wife has checked out mentally a long time ago. You should thank the gods she didn’t start dating BEFORE the divorce proceedings even started.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 11:52 AM
5

It may not be enough but it will always help. Trying to “address the relationship” is not going to work most of the time. You’re trying to look at a marriage and relationship from a man’s point of view without understanding a woman’s. If a woman loses respect for her husband or partner, no amount of working on the relationship will help. That is what working on improving oneself addresses. Conversely, if it’s a relationship problem and not an issue of the woman losing respect for her man, then s…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 06:34 AM
1

If your lawyer isn’t working for your interests, fire her. I’m sorry to say this but your lawyer should absolutely work for you. They should provide you advice based on what they think is best for your situation but ultimately it is your decision to make and you instruct them on what to do.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/25 09:25 PM
2

You have a lot of issues. Good that you divorced someone who bullied you and made you a prisoner of your own home but embracing Chinese-ness or repudiating western society alone isn’t going to save you. You need to work through a lot of issues, including internalized self-hate. White culture isn’t perfect, Chinese culture isn’t perfect. Everything has good and has bad.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 12:40 AM
18

She’s making twice your salary so she feels she has outgrown you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/25 08:26 AM
10

Erm just a question - is getting married like going on a date for you guys? Like how many times can one person get married and divorced? Dont the legal trouble, the friends and family coming for weddings, and moving in and out trouble you guys?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 04:24 AM
1

I don’t want to make the assumption because I don’t know where OP lives in. Sometimes evidence of adultery can be necessary if the other party refuses to divorce. It is advice that a lawyer should give. Secondly, it is very common for friends and family to turn on the man in the lead up to divorce. Having evidence will help socially even if not legally.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 12:29 PM
6

Tell her when you have your ducks lined up. Your action plan and schedule finalized and when you have to. Don’t tell her just because you want to. Take emotions out of the picture. You need to gather evidence. Aside from her latest messages, see what else there is that shows her adultery, but also gather all your financial statements and logs of living habits. Employ a lawyer ASAP. Find the best one you can. Spend as much as your finances allow. Make sure your lawyer is on your side and fighting…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:11 AM
2

I wish I had good advice but I’m here just to get inputs too. I met a really nice lady but I’m afraid of committing again and making the same mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 11:28 AM
10

No. She doesn’t sound like she is on your side. I had a female lawyer, but whom helped a lot of male clients, and knew all the tricks that wives do under advice of nefarious lawyers - false allegations, trying to trick you out of the house, etc. etc. You need to get a better lawyer. Fire this one.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 04:23 PM
3

Arranged marriage? What are you, Indian? What do you expect out of arranged marriages? You don’t know the person, you don’t know her character, values, body count, experiences.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 01:05 AM
2

Probably someone who signed a prenup. I walked away with around 50
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:49 PM
9

I can understand the temptation, but does it excuse them? Should men give in whenever there are women willing to sleep with them? Why are men being demonized for cheating then? Lots of men have the opportunity to cheat. And the temptation is even greater when they get older (and more experienced and richer) and their wives get older (and less attractive). Should men just cheat and be excused then?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 12:06 PM
10

Dude, get a grip. You can be proud of your family name but anyone can name themself anything. I can change my last name legally to Rothschild or Trump or Obama. I don’t think those families are going to lose sleep over it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:54 PM
9

Dudes, have some perspective. If she’s keeping your last name, she’s the one living with a burden of a failed relationship. Move on and you are free, not her. Keep skulking about it and you’re the one living with the burden instead. Gosh. Are you men or women?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 06:08 AM
14

You’re fucking stupid for even wanting to tell her. What would that earn you? 5 minutes of gloating? And risk her going after you for 50% of that? If I stood to inherit another $2mil on top of what I have I would be busy planning my life ahead, maybe taking on a less stressful job, investing the 2mil and enjoying the rest of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 04:47 AM
0

If your life is harder, more expensive, and more lonely alone, most women are going to leave you. Women are not wired to be providers. Work on yourself so that you can make a partner’s life better, not depend on your partner to make your life better.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/25 02:14 AM
1

I agree. There are many that have gender biases but not necessarily their own genders. There are as many “white knight” men who will be much easier on women than men, and “pick me” women who will do the converse.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 02:48 PM
12

Give yourself time to grieve. You aren’t a robot and shouldn’t be expected to move on immediately with no emotions. It might be a bad relationship and should end, but you are allowed moments of weaknesses and to grieve it too. I’m sure there are good moments in the relationship and you will miss those despite the overall relationship being bad. There will be good and bad days.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 02:42 PM
10

She’s 50. She might have had meopause and lost her sex drive. It might not be always cheating. I’m not saying it’s not a problem, but at 50 it’s not uncommon to have one sex’s drive fall off a cliff, especially for women.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 04:12 AM
1

Thank you for helping me square it. I just started a new Mon-Fri job but I don’t live near my child’s school and her mom’s home now. If I drop my alternate Saturdays, would it be bad my child only sees me one weekend per two weeks?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 02:27 AM
1

This schedule sounds much better. Unfortunately her school is near her mother’s, so it’s hard to change the weekdays...
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 02:15 AM
1

Could be a cultural language issue. I’m not American/European.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 02:12 AM
1

Both. Call both. When I caught my wife cheating, she was immediately remorseful and wanted to do counselling and made promises. However she was continuing the affair behind my back. Despite her pleading for me to stay for days, eventually she was the one who decided to divorce. She engaged a lawyer behind my back before I knew that she made up her mind to divorce. That was when I realised that many women cheat only when they lose respect for their man; and once they respect is lost, it cannot be…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 10:42 AM
8

Some women see men like jobs, just a means to make a living. It sounds like your ex-wife is one such woman. Thank goodness you got out of that. Be thankful and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 01:48 PM
12

You’re getting caught up in unnecessary details Why don’t you just reassure her that you have done your best to delete any nude photos of her in your possession and will do so if you come across any unexpected ones? There’s no way she can reasonably ask to go through your devices, but there’s also no need to pick a fight over this.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 10:42 AM
3

I would say go ahead. Since she is spinning a narrative, people would wonder why you are not sharing your side of the story. And silence may imply guilt. Nevertheless, I would suggest putting a positive lens on things, ie focus on what you have learnt and what you are doing to both recover and grow from it rather than focus on how stbx has wronged you. Timing wise, you may wish to check legally if there are any potential derailments. If STBX threaten to blow up the agreement if you don’t take do…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 08:29 AM
8

You’re on a rebound. And she can feel the vibes from you wanting the security of an attachment or to convince yourself you’re still wanted. What you need to work on first is to feel fully secure without another woman’s validation. I’ve been through that. It takes time and it hurts when things don’t go well. But it’s a necessary step.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 02:39 AM
3

I’m glad we are reasonable as a sub and call out other men instead of being hypocrites and blindly siding with men because of their gender. OP’s wife sounds amazing if not perfect. Great mom, great housekeeper, and good companion. The fact that she did not nag and whine for him to do housework, and it is all his own decision sounds like he needs to work on himself. How many men would love to have a partner that does all the housework perfectly and not guilt trip or complain them about it? Romanc…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 09:14 AM
6

You’re looking for a woman to bail you out financially? Are you an Adonis in his prime? Cover model type looks? If not, why the hell would a woman want to get together with a man who is looking to abandon his family, and worse still, can’t afford to do so.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 02:47 AM
7

Now is definitely not the time to date. You need to build up yourself. Would you date someone like yourself? Probably no. You have to work through your issues, build a good life for yourself before you are ready to share that with someone. It is not a race. It does not matter if there are others to have teenage kids at your age. I read that a kid earned $5milliom off YouTube reviewing toys. Should I be depressed that I’m so much older with hardly a million? Focus on yourself and becoming someone…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 10:36 AM
2

No I love women who can hold their own, be their own person and not revolve around my life, but also vice versa not be a narcissist and expect me to revolve around hers. But there is definitely good advice out there on how to behave and act in a way that inspires confidence and love from women that I think is useful. I come from a self improvement angle rather than what women (or anybody) should be. That does include knowing what boundaries I should draw with anyone, and what I can or cannot acc…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:33 PM
2

Thank you. I will view it once I can access TikTok. Redpill is just a really convenient and broad label. Just like there are feminists who hate all men and feminists who are helping vulnerable women, red pill has both misogynists and men with good advice on how to maintain a masculine frame. Will definitely get back to you with my thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 01:17 PM
2

Go for it. Who cares about karma?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 05:31 AM
3

Any link you can provide?
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 05:10 AM
3

You’re experiencing two sides of her. One she has for the people she loves, and one for the people she don’t. Many men and women behave very differently, as if they are two complete persons, to people they love vs people they don’t. The most ruthless gang leader who kills without blinking has the softest of hearts for his grand daughter. What you’re experiencing now is her after her love switch for you has been flipped. So that explains your different feelings towards her as well.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 12:44 PM
2

Oh shut up about the “man up” and toxic expectations of men. It’s your sister so of course you’re on her side and wants him to do whatever she wants. Without better context, it’s not fair to blame him. While the marriage is typically over when either party is firm about checking out, it is usual for the party that is being cheated on or abandoned to find it hard to accept the new reality.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:54 AM
7

You are a joke for repeatedly saying that “she doesn’t know what she’s doing” or that she’s “clueless”. You’re the one that doesn’t know what she’s doing and you’re the clueless one. She’s smacking shaking your hand with her right hand and boxing you with her left while you look on like a stupid idiot. This is textbook war initiation, something that Hitler did at the start of the war, feigning friendliness while moving troops across borders. She has already dropped two nuclear bombs on you while…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 05:38 AM
4

Sounds like OP is getting gaslighted and his wife simply lost respect for him. If it’s such a bad deal, why is he doing half nights and all days. Why not let him do all the nights and she do all the days?
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 12:29 AM
2

What is a “Skins” group?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 02:02 PM
4

Underrated comment.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 02:28 AM
9

Give him the money directly that is sufficient for half a decent entry level car. Your relationship is primarily with him and not his mother. He can work with her to figure out the rest.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 02:38 AM
6

I went through a period of similar experience (I made a post here about mine https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/DQ80dvPTN5). It’s called monkey branching. She’s leading you on with glimmers of hope while she’s still working on securing the next relationship. Read up on female solipsism and monkey branching. But before you do anything, consult a lawyer. Women tend to operate in on/off modes when it comes to relationship. Once she has decided on embarking on this path, there is usually no way …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 04:19 PM
18

She’s your ex wife for a reason. How does her dating anyone, better or worse than you, affect you?
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 08:24 AM
2

Definitely not wrong to start dating but give it a bit more time and try to see how day to day living is together before you commit again. Speaking from experience myself.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 05:14 AM
2

It sounds like she thinks she has a good deal on the financial side of things and hence wants to lock that in. Get a second opinion on how the deal looks like for you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 01:46 AM
1

Thank you for reading. Yes our cases are so similar that I wished I came to this forum earlier in my process and realised earlier that the marriage was beyond salvaging.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 05:36 AM
6

Don't let your wife dictate the terms. Take your lawyer's advice and layer it with your own assessment. From what you wrote, it sounds like retaining the house does not make sense. Either your wife somehow gets enough to buy you out, or it gets sold. Leaving your equity in there makes no sense for you and should never be something you agree to. It prevents you from getting your own place, which is crucial if you want custody time. I've written some stuff on my post here, not to shill it, but in …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:03 PM
1

Thank you for your time reading
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 12:51 PM
3

Thank you. It's a long post, so maybe that's why not a lot of people bothered finishing it or caring, but I appreciate the time you took to. It's crazy how they suddenly turn shameless enough to, and are permitted by the courts to lobby false accusations at their stbx-husbands. And how men are somehow seen as responsible financially for the decisions women make when they're now given all the rights men have.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 12:51 PM
2

Holy Sh*t. Someone has the guts to leave someone making half a million a year?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 02:18 PM
-6

You are ranting so hard that this hardly made any sense at all. Happy for you and your collection of plastic bags if that helped you vent your frustration though.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 08:17 AM
5

Dude, you wanted just some fun, but you tracked her car, checked her phone, and put her through fidelity tests?! That is batshit insane behavior and I’m surprised she tolerated that. No self respecting person should put up with that. Which makes me wonder whether she is really in love with you (possible) or sees you as a meal ticket equally possible). You don’t sound like you’re in a stable mental place to be in a healthy relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 12:47 AM
9

Don’t be a d*ck. If you have decided on leaving her, don’t lead her on. That’s going to make her angrier when she finally realizes you are indeed leaving her. She’s doing this to hopefully change your mind and you are opening up a can of worms by giving her false hopes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 05:25 PM
1

It’s hard to give you advice because laws vary by country and by state. I’m guessing you’re American because you’re not aware that there are other countries in the world. Given this assumption, and my knowledge of the fact that Britney Spears paid alimony, you could well be due spousal support. And there is no way you are getting that without a lawyer. Since your STBX is being unreasonable, there is no reason not to engage one. The only good reason not to engage one is when your STBX is being am…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 12:05 AM
3

Just wanted to say I’m going through the sme journey and in Singapore where you were.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 05:21 PM
5

Don’t rollover. It’s in her interest for this to not drag out because it sounds like she wants to move on more than you do. You don’t need to be unreasonable and take this down the hostile route, but it doesn’t mean you have to rollover for it to be “amicable”. Know what you want ideally vs what you can settle for. Start with the former and don’t give in on the latter. Simple concept: request and offer. This means trading what you want less for what you want more. Work on this until both of you …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 09:19 PM
1

I have to disagree with this. Directly supporting the kid - all for it. Supporting the ex to provide a better environment for the kid - no. Modern society provides as much economic opportunities to most women as to most men, if not more. Why should men pay for ex-wives to have a better house or car - (i) why is it not the responsibility of the ex-wife to ensure she provides the kid a conducive environment; and (ii) what reason is there for the reverse not to happen?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 08:36 AM
9

Life is full of trade-offs. You can’t have everything. Is keeping the family intact and your finances relatively intact worth staying in a pointless marriage? Potentially yes, potentially no. You might find someone you have chemistry with, you might not. You might battle loneliness for the rest of your life, or you might enjoy the freedom of single hood. One big thing you have to ask though: will your child suffer because of your decision?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 10:35 AM
23

You do sound like a prick, but at least you are self aware. You divorced once, and didn’t learn your lesson. Chose a trophy wife, who you then got bored of, and now you’re questioning your choice? None of us are qualified to tell you which choice to make over the internet. Go see a therapist and maybe start marriage counseling to find out what you really want from life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 10:13 AM
22

Mostly good for women that is. So many men have been ruined financially by divorces. Which idiot recommends marriage as wealth preservation?
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 02:37 AM
2

Good of you to think about this proactively. On one hand you don’t want your ex to blow what is a smooth process thus far up. On the other, you don’t want your son to feel as if you don’t appreciate his time with you. What I would do is to have a frank conversation with your ex. Ask her how you can help her, and let her know too that while you want to respect your almost-adult son’s personal choices, you would be happy to work on this issue with her. Put the onus on her to come up with a reasona…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 01:32 AM
5

The mistake you made was moving out. That gave her the home in practice, and gave her no incentive to do anything about it. My divorce settlement included me selling my share of the house to be ex-wife, but I am way more anxious than she is even though we are still both living in it (albeit in different rooms). For her, the change is slight, she gets to move into the bigger room and she will have more space when my things are gone. The change for me is bigger, with my name on this property, I am…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 11:36 AM
1

Dude, get your head out of your posterior. Everyone else here is saying this. She will date. Be thankful it is someone being nice to your children rather than someone who isn’t. You shouldn’t hope or make your children suffer more just because you can’t move on mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 10:22 AM
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