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licoricespicedtea Archive

View 8 posts and 144 comments by licoricespicedtea on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Well if you’re OCD I’m OCD too. For ya know, not wanting urine trailed around my living space 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:25 PM
26

Yuppp Working one summer at a daycare with the 1-2 year olds when I was 14 cleared up any doubts I had. Also the book The Baby Decision by Merle Bombardieri has some great mental exercises.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 04:13 AM
6

Today I realized that every single one of the 11 guys I’ve had sex with has raped me. 7 of the “was planning on having sex earlier in the evening but was too drunk to consent when it happened” variety, 4 were more than that. And one guy I dated but didn’t have sex with sexually assaulted me. I’m fine, somehow I didn’t find any of it particularly traumatic. It’s just weird to think about. Like these were all very different guys, some had clear red flags, but not all of them. All the ones my paren…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 10:14 PM
40

TW: SA Yeah on the sex thing specifically: I used to be into some pretty dark genres of bdsm and had countless conversations with guys, in person and online, where they admitted to purposefully ignoring nonverbal (and verbal!) cues, purposefully making a woman feel threatened so she would let him bulldoze her boundaries, sooo much getting women way too drunk so they couldn’t fight back, all that good stuff. And every single time there was either no empathy/emotions about it at all (besides “well…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 05:10 AM
6

Yeah this is the way (assuming you enjoy wearing lingerie at all in the first place). If the guy acts HV in general and isn’t pervy about it, it can actually be fun to shop for it together and get all excited about wearing it later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:33 PM
248

men are often willing to give advice Seems legit… men are good at time management and scheduling …something’s fishy here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 01:04 PM
26

The sad/hilarious part is 99% of people in the “bdsm community” will rant about how this book is abusive—and then proceed to act in the same exact way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 06:53 PM
5

I almost didn’t believe it really happened! After 3 years of no contact my abusive college boyfriend texted me asking what the name of “that Black House something something store” is. Slightly amusing. But no thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:16 PM
6

I’ve gotten good at going out for errands and to work without makeup (pre Covid, luckily chill office) but I would really struggle with not wearing makeup on a date, even one that involved some physical activity where I would not wear makeup if it wasn’t a date (eg skydiving or something). It took me a lot to get used to the idea of expecting the guy to pay, and one of the arguments that helped me get comfortable with that was the “cost of being pretty for the date” argument. If I don’t do all m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 06:33 PM
8

Me tooooo Just 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 12:02 AM
3

Yes! I’m glad to know I’m not the only one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 05:27 PM
8

Yes! I’ve also been trying to think of ways to phrase things beforehand to make it clear that’s the expectation. It’s hard for them to also seem like normal things a person would say. The only one I’ve come up with is something like “yeah, I’d love for you to take me out/take me to dinner” when asked out. But even that sounds weirdly wordy/formal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:56 AM
2

Thanks! I hope so too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:51 AM
3

Yeah I think I’ll go that route as well. “Oh sorry, I thought you were treating” sounds like something I could feasibly see myself saying. But also yeah, is the conflict and mental energy really worth it? Probably not. Will I still not be having a second date either way? Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:35 AM
3

Yeah there’s still a connection in my brain between making sure I’m financially independent and being proud of that (which is good) and then having to “prove it” to men to prove I’m not a good digger (which is bad lol). That link is super helpful! I read another similar one a while ago that had ideas of what to say if he asks if I want to split it. But him asking is also not ideal anyway 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:02 PM
5

So I have my first post-finding-FDS date Friday. I’m trying not to take it super seriously, just as practice putting the FDS rules into practice. So far he’s been meeting the bare minimum/no red flags. He’s from OLD (yeah I know, but I like the window-shopping aspect), but he contacted me first and with more than just “hey” and has been a very good conversationalist, showing interest in my life and sharing an appropriate amount about his life. He asked me out after about a week of chatting, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 02:29 PM
10

Don’t worry, I got like 6 new candles right before I moved 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 04:17 PM
37

I’m in my own apartment! It is beautiful and quiet and most importantly stays clean after I clean it 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:18 PM
52

Oh my gosh, tonight is also my first night in my new apartment away from my LVX! Finally going to sleep after getting my couch and bed together, and feeling pooped but accomplished. Stay strong and enjoy the peace and quiet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 06:20 AM
1

They’re in a box and packed and taped up and hidden under other boxes atm haha They’ll probably be mid-way through the truck since I have some big stuff to go first
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 05:29 AM
4

Thanks. And yeah idk how she doesn’t know something is up: they’re been dating a month and a half and he’s been to her place and stayed over like 4-5 times but she’s never been to our place. And our place is a ten minute walk from the school they both go to while hers is across town.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 09:32 PM
4

I know! Like he’s gonna have to buy them eventually! I’m walking a very fine line in my brain between exploding with pettiness and just trying to maintain peace and calm for 24 more hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 03:13 PM
10

My LVX wants to cook something elaborate on Saturday to bring to hang out with this new lady he’s seeing. He wants to cook at exactly the time when I will be actively moving all my shit out of the apartment. Through the kitchen is literally the main thoroughfare. He insists he won’t get in the way. Oh and also can I just wait to leave a few kitchen utensils (that are mine) to pack absolute last so he can cook with them? He has known this day is coming for a literal month and a half. Because of m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 04:43 AM
10

Ughhh my ex has been blessed with amazing genetics in the skin department. He literally rinses his face in the shower and uses absolutely zero other products and doesn’t change his pillowcase ever and his skin looks better than 95% of the people I know. This also means he never uses soap on his facial hair. He’s also generally anti-soap because it will “hurt his microbiome”. It was the most annoying thing because - (1) germs = vagina not happy, which I tried to explain to him and he argued that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 07:30 PM
61

This was so helpful to read! Helped me put some clear and concise labels/analysis on things that generally make me feel “weird” or “uncomfortable”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 05:54 PM
18

Yeah you’re absolutely right. It is sad. We need some sort of clandestine conference that on its face is “how to be a better bang maid”, then they won’t bother us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:44 PM
16

I’m sorry, they have conferences?? Can we have a conference?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 03:37 PM
84

Ahhh this comment gives me flashbacks! Him: flips out at me giving feedback during bdsm “sex”; throws bdsm implement across the room Me: that broke my trust, let’s just have vanilla sex for a while Him: wow it hurts to hear you can’t trust me! What did I do to deserve this treatment?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:55 PM
2

Maybe some basic “level up” stuff? Like someone to talk about basic financial literacy/financial planning, someone who coaches how to negotiate job offers (the NPR This is Uncomfortable podcast had Carrie Menkel-Meadow who specifically coaches women), basic nutrition/fitness, etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:36 PM
2

Her Twitter game is also on point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:34 PM
14

Yeah I think it’s a great thing to bring up on a first date. You’ll very quickly realize what kind of person you’re talking to depending on if they seem put off/uncomfortable when you bring up the idea of budgeting vs if they get excited and start talking about how they budget with you. Me and one of my old work friends used to geek out over our budget excels like “ooo look at this new graph I made to show projections!” And that’s the standard guys will have to meet now haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:21 PM
31

I mean if inexpensive skincare options work for people then great for them, I’m jelly. But these dudes will start arguing with me about how much they spend and conveniently leave out these large “sporadic” purchases. Like add up how much you spend in a year and divide it by 12 and get back to me. Then they can’t even do that! Dude in the bullet points in my first comment literally did not know how much he was spending per month on: health insurance, car insurance, cell phone plan, subscriptions,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:49 PM
53

Only the manual for how to grunt at the gym though, not the form manual or the stretching manual. Uni guys were the worstttt though. Besides regularly pooping in the showers and the elevators on weekends while trashed, one of the men’s residence halls almost burned down because they were constantly overloading the clothes dryers and not emptying the lint and eventually one lit on fire. This was a nice college too. Like a lot of these shower-poopers are gonna be senators in 20 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 06:28 PM
81

woahhhh you’re so rich Ahhh yes! So I have high maintenance skin and make sure I budget so I can buy some pretty nice skincare products, and dudes will be like “oh see you’re wasting money too! Idk how you’re rich and I’m not!?” I know exactly how much I spend, that’s how! And they’ll buy cheap unhealthy food and 5-in-1 body wash but then also buy a $3000 gaming chair one month and a $2000 computer a few month later and whine about they “live so cheaply”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 05:53 PM
131

What is it with guys having zero financial literacy? I know I go especially ham with my personal budgeting, but like 99% of guys don’t even know how much of their monthly income they end up not spending! And it’s even guys who ostensibly “have their life together”. It’s like the absence of chronic unemployment/being entirely broke is “financial success”. But have they thought about if they’ll ever be able to make a down payment on a house? Are they on track in their retirement savings? Do they h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:29 PM
33

Woke up before my alarm this morning because it’s T minus 5 days til moving day! Also closing in on my best friend’s wedding and the planning has been a joy so far and given me so much positive “being around women”/bonding energy. (There’s 2 brides, so extra woman energy haha)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 12:01 PM
39

My ex and his friends would sit around and trade stories of throwing keyboards, breaking computer screens etc because of losing at video games in this jovial “remembering the good times” way. It was really weird. Once I even said “you guys know you’re not supposed to have to throw things when you’re mad” and they all went “oh yeah we know, but this is video games, it’s different.” 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 04:52 AM
32

Right? Like even when I break/spill something out of clumsiness or not paying attention I clean it up right away. It would be embarrassing if someone came over and the thing was still just sitting around broken/spilled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 02:19 AM
1

Yes! I’ve been walking around grinning like a little kid at Disney world every time I think “only 5 days left!” I can just picture myself sitting on the floor in my new apartment, pooped from moving, but so sooo happy. And without Rick and Morty constantly making noise in the background.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 10:37 PM
9

Me too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:30 AM
14

Did we date the same person? Mine got mad at me for peeing while he was in a 5 hour long zoom meeting too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:29 AM
42

We dated for 3 years and I did this for 2 of them. When Covid started I got on a fitness kick and pretty much stopped drinking and quickly realized he was terrible at sex. Like selfish and lazy but also just clumsy and heavy handed. I once put his finger exactly on my clit with all the lights on to show him where it was and he was still like “hmm nope I don’t feel anything different from the rest of it, sorry”. Then because he had no idea about the geography down there I kept getting UTIs from h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 02:26 AM
2

My ex had a very nice trimmed beard and it looked like he had a nice string jaw. After 2 years of only seeing him like that he randomly shaved it all and he had the weakest chin ever. I was v surprised. Much false advertising haha (Just to be clear I’m not being super serious. I would see this the same way as getting a haircut that flatters your face shape.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:54 AM
3

Now, women are almost not allowed to wear makeup I sort of disagree here. Women are not allowed to look like they’re wearing makeup. Yet the “effortless cool girl” look most men will point to as what they want in magazines or on TV usually includes very well done “natural” makeup. Same with “casual tousled wavy hair”. There is some illusive perfect point at which a woman successfully hides all her flaws but also does not change how she looks in any way (“false advertising”) and doesn’t have any …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 01:51 AM
83

Clearer skin and better sleep for me too! Also: - hair growing back denser since I’m no longer chronically stressed - eczema and other stress rashes pretty much disappeared - I noticed I’m breathing slower and deeper and this has helped my rosacea - better posture - no longer using alcohol to forget all the things I was not okay with to avoid confrontation about them - no longer using alcohol before sex to make him seem better at it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 09:51 PM
26

Agree. Also if big weddings aren’t your thing, maybe use that money/effort (and take the opportunity to see his willingness to spend money and effort) on an amazing honeymoon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 08:28 PM
11

Exactly this. I don’t know who invented the term “vanilla” but it really should be a distinction between (a) loving, passionate, intimate, sensual, erotic sex where both people are entirely present, and (b) detached sex where the man is using the woman as a fleshlight (and sometimes punching bag). When I was younger (like, too young, was an only child with my own computer) and first found porn I remember thinking the stuff I was seeing in “vanilla” porn did look boring because it was just a woma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 06:21 PM
14

Exactly. Sure there’s benefits, but those same benefits can be turned against you if your “HVM” suddenly sheds his mask. The only really compelling reason I see to get married is kids, so if you don’t want kids 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:50 PM
27

Ahhh so much this! I’ve had men argue with me about what my undergrad major (international political economy) entailed. Sir, I was there. I know how much econ I learned. My job title is literally Economist (it’s on my OLD too) and the amount of men who match with me and then proceed to start the conversation with some of this BS you have so helpfully listed is astounding. Then somehow the fact that I’m in an MS Econ program makes me less qualified to have opinions about economics because I didn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:50 PM
66

“My Tinder match” = is this a first/second date???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 07:38 PM
3

This is just for loans that are specifically for school, right? In theory she could get a non-school-specific personal loan, albeit likely at a higher interest rate?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:05 PM
4

I’ll take your word that it’s a coincidence. The other comment was removed a couple minutes after you posted here, which is why I was suspicious. As I’ve tried to explain in this case it’s really just a personal comfort choice. The reason why I do anything to my pubic hair at all is mostly that when it’s a full bush it gets sweaty easily and that’s not good to sit around in all day. When I was a kid I was prone to yeast infections so I’d rather be safe than sorry. And as far as management option…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:44 PM
6

I’m glad you’ve found what you like, but just like other grooming preferences we don’t all have to agree. It’s a little odd that you came and responded to this comment after we disagreed about period sex (and you deleted that comment which insinuated I was only not a fan of period sex because I was young). I’ve tried it full, trimmed, and shaved (all both while single and while having sex with men) and have found that it’s most comfortable to me shaved. It’s also super easy to shave, I can use c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:40 AM
17

Yup. Like I know it would be a higher level of FDS-ness if it just wasn’t taking up space in my brain at all. But for the moment I’m okay with the fact that I’m happy about this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:53 PM
141

This is my feeling as well. I’ll also add: if they’re just not super into period sex then that shouldn’t extend to being generally less physically affectionate (cuddling, making out, feeling you up) when they know sex isn’t gonna happen. Not wanting blood on your dong I can understand, but he shouldn’t be seeing you as generally “gross” when it’s period time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:32 PM
14

That’s awesome to hear. I do think I’m gonna stick to 95% not shaving. But sometimes it is nice to get them all smooth when you’re getting dressed up or having a spa day or bought new sheets or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:20 PM
44

I’ve noticed a similar thing with my legs. Especially when it’s winter and my skin is dry anyway, shaving my legs wrecks their skin barrier and I get so many micro-cuts and ingrown hairs. Since I stopped 4 months ago my skin has been so much happier and they don’t feel itchy in tights since they’re past the prickly phase. I do shave my pubes though, I just find it more comfortable personally. And for some reason that skin is 100x more resilient than my leg skin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:24 PM
85

This is too accurate. I’m currently in the process of packing up my stuff to move out of my living situation with my LVX and over the past several weeks I’ve stopped giving a flying f*ck about cleaning anything other than things/areas only I use. It’s amazing how bad it has gotten in such a short amount of time. I did not realize how much I cleaned up after him. He has a squatty potty but never cleans it so a nice film of dried pee has been accumulating on it, which means he puts his feet on it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 07:52 PM
31

Or resentful that she doesn’t want to “settle down” and be his full time bang maid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:40 PM
62

For real. He was gritting his teeth and bearing it through her...checks notes...desire to travel?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 06:09 PM
5

In 10 days I have to take final exams for the two classes I’m taking in my part time masters, and then the next day I’m finally moving out of my apartment I share with my LVX. I’ve been super stressed about all 3 of these events happening basically at the same time, but today I am feeling much less stressed. Over the weekend I packed a lot of things I don’t use everyday and I’m now like 60-70% packed. I also got ahead in both classes so my actual coursework is done and the only things left are t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 07:23 PM
19

Right, and porn should train the brain even more than movies and video games since most guys (I guess, but who knows) aren’t regularly having orgasms during the movies and video games.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:42 PM
16

Yeah I had a hard time deciding between the two. I guess this one won because I was angry the funding didn’t get pulled and this is being published as if it were a serious study.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 04:29 PM
62

Obviously chemtrails
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 03:36 PM
80

Indeed, they just want to see more women in control of their sexuality and in the workforce! /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 03:02 PM
91

Yeah his post was not about perceptions of women at all, just “wow this proves all men watch porn”. Looks like I need to unfollow and mourn the loss of some good memes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:43 PM
53

I know! I clicked the link expecting to see “there was no control group, lolz porn is funny, guess we have to cancel the study”. But he goes right ahead and then says his study actually has conclusions! It’s so clear he was not actually conducting this study in good faith. The audacity is surprising sometimes, though I guess it shouldn’t be anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:37 PM
1

Yeah I agree that “required working hours” are not directly correlated to quantity/quality of work output. I think we can both agree that in the original premise/question there are other, maybe better, options of things to adjust in addition to just “hours worked”. However some jobs, no matter the exact hours spent, are just more or less stressful than other jobs, and are stressful in different ways to different people. If someone’s stress capacity (in the long term) for the certain type of stre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:47 AM
12

Is this for the short run or the long run? If it’s their short run capacity I agree it makes sense and shows empathy to answer “adjust”. But if this question is for a work scenario and someone’s long run capacity is not in line with the position it would make sense to find a new employee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 04:37 PM
5

Same. Besides that they’re great friends in general the not giving any fucks about male validation has really rubbed off on me 👍🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 05:13 AM
204

My LVX would always comment “wow she looks really good for 30/40/50!” when a normal looking woman was on tv or in the news. (I know a lot of times people on tv aren’t normal looking.) That’s just how you look if you take care of yourself! I also said something about my parents going on a cute romantic weekend getaway and it came up that he didn’t think people over 40 had sex!? Because they just stop finding each other attractive because 40 is so old!? That was honestly the beginning of the end (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 01:41 PM
57

At least the sister seems to get it, so hopefully that will be a good influence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 01:09 PM
8

Yes! Like it got to the point that if I didn’t want sex it would cause me stress to cuddle because I kept worrying about “cuddling too hard” and him thinking that meant I wanted sex. Eventually I would do my bedtime skin routine before we watched tv just to have a good excuse. It’s especially aggravating because after he tried to initiate and I turned him down, he would never keep pressuring me. So if I brought it up that I felt pressured about sex he always did confused pikachu face “what? I ne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:28 PM
2

Nope, mine was regular European/white
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 12:01 PM
92

For real. One time I was just completely mentally and physically drained after a really busy few weeks of work and my ex offered me a massage. I (naively and happily) accepted and was basically so tired that I fell asleep during this mediocre massage. The next day he was mad at me because he “did all that nice foreplay and didn’t get any sex”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:54 PM
9

He didn’t drain the can either. 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:50 PM
244

The inability to engage in touching without making it sexual. For example: you’ve had a hard day doing spring cleaning and are sore: can he give you a shoulder massage without being creepy and sneaking around to your boobs? (Even as a “joke”.) ETA: dancing can also be a decent indicator of this, but I think nothing beats how telling a massage can be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 07:44 PM
150

It’s really annoying to me how since bdsm has become mainstream there’s only two options: degrading violent sex or “boring” sex. After I told my ex I was having new thoughts about what I was into and didn’t want him hitting/choking me for a while to see how it went, he said he felt “limited to boring sex”. Of course besides hitting me all he knew how to do was jackhammer and fingerbang me at warp speed. There are literally infinite things you can do that are not jackhammering and not bdsm. It’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:48 PM
4

I’ve never done it in a container and it’s turned out fine 🤷🏼‍♀️ I usually half cook it in the microwave then finish it in a more “traditional” cooking method like the oven. Then you can significantly cut down the cooking time and still get some nice texture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 03:00 PM
65

When I stopped cooking for him my ex went to Costco and bought mayo, canned chicken (that somehow smelled like tuna?), and 3 dozen hot dogs. For a meal he mixed mayo with the chicken and ate it out of the chicken can, then boiled a few hot dogs. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:39 AM
35

To be fair microwaving a sweet potato is a valid thing to do, you just have to then pair it with other yummy foods to make a meal - which I don’t think is the case here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:37 AM
5

Even that is just...🙄 If the house depreciates does he have to pay you half of the depreciation?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:10 PM
4

I know OLD is generally frowned upon here, but it’s been sort of useful to me recently to get comfortable with having high standards, blocking and deleting as soon as my experience with someone is the tiniest bit unpleasant or stressful, saying “haha drinks are something you do with people you want to network with” when a low effort date is proposed. I know this is a bit of a crutch, but I thought I’d put it out there for others who still have pick-me tendencies and need to get comfortable with …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 02:23 PM
6

It’s a good place to start, but I’m not sure about “has to do with behavior of which the doer is proud”. I’m super proud of how organized my finances are (and that’s generally something people are proud of), but when my LVX was teasing/negging me about it, it didn’t feel like lighthearted fun. In general I feel like negging is meant to specifically get at the things women are proud of, the things that make us confident, to bring us “down a notch”. IMO it’s even worse if it’s something I’m bashfu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 01:32 PM
7

You’re forgetting when “we’re pregnant” 🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:04 AM
19

Yes! Like the vast vast majority of NVM/LVM are terrible at sex, but there’s a few that are great at it and it is infuriating. My first boyfriend in college was like that. You just have to be thankful that you have some standard to hold new guys to/know you’re not just “harder to get off than other girls” and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 04:51 AM
23

I’ve had this experience as well. I’m not going to speculate about the reasons, because some other comments make good points, but whatever the reasons the end result for me was a much more pleasant gym experience. Unrelated to men at all, a nicer gym will just be a happier place to exist in. Mine has little wine fridges all over with cool damp towels and plays nice music and generally feels like spa. Also free tea, coffee, and snacks. It’s had a great impact on my overall fitness. Also, my gym i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 03:06 PM
2

Thanks, that’s great info!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 09:22 PM
105

Dr Katalin Karikó link to a story about her and some other amazing women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:53 PM
5

I mean sick in general, though another comment has some studies specifically related to Covid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 08:17 PM
7

For sure. This is making me wish I paid attention to this all the other times I was sick, but alas
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 07:44 PM
21

Would there generally be a chance of your cycle being messed up a bit if you got sick? (Genuinely asking, not a medical professional.) It would make sense to me that your body might get distracted/occupied by dealing with the sickness, so something similar might happen to some people with vaccines? If your body has symptoms that generally show it is inflamed that means it’s directing energy to something that isn’t your cycle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 06:37 PM
25

Just sleeping with one but still dating others seems like it would inevitably lead to him also dating other women, and since he’s a dude probably sleeping with other women, and you don’t get the measure of protection from stds that you would if you two were exclusive, right? Or how would that work?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:05 AM
23

I used to compare guys I dated to my dad, but as I got older and partially through doing this in the first place I too realized he isn’t all that. He’s not terrible, like he has plenty of good qualities, but there’s a lot that I would not put up with if I were my mom. When I was younger I thought my dad was the bomb dot com. He raced motorcycles, sailed, drank fancy drinks and could hold his liquor well, and was super confident (arrogant). I thought my mom was pretty boring in comparison, since …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 03:56 PM
40

I guess proud? I honestly don’t know, didn’t think to ask at the moment because I was too busy just being confused
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:21 PM
162

I once had an ex call me a “cute little unsatisfied one” and pat me on the head after sex. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 04:57 PM
4

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 12:00 PM
3

Potentially stupid question, but how do you block and delete? Doesn’t a contact need to be not deleted from your phone in order to block it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 05:12 AM
2

That’s definitely understandable. I would recommend the This Week in Virology podcast I mentioned above if you want to keep up with new developments. It comes out once or twice a week and it’s all epidemiologists and virologists discussing what’s new with Covid. (They talk about other viruses too sometimes but it’s mostly Covid for the time being.) It’s a lot more reliable and less stressful to listen to than the news.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 10:05 PM
14

Not to get too in the weeds on this, but two things: - Most vaccines don’t offer sterilizing immunity (making you totally not have the virus at all), but to be contagious you need to be shedding a certain amount of virus. Even if the vaccine does not offer sterilizing immunity, it can still keep you practically not contagious by keeping your viral load super low and super short duration while your body deals with the virus if you do happen to come in contact with it. The CDC Report from earlier …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 05:53 AM
98

I feel like this has more to do with women generally ending up as their SO’s secretary than with the Covid vaccine specifically. Also in this specific situation it seems relevant that the vaccine sign up system was associated with their workplace. But their jokes speak to the general “GF becomes the secretary” phenomenon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:24 PM
105

This is one of my favorite things to have realized as I grew up! Like instead of seeing my mom as just “my mom” or my professor as just “my professor”, I started seeing them as their own full people with full lives. And that is when I started appreciating it when they looked good and thinking “good for them” instead of being jealous. Like every woman I see now there’s something that I immediately think is beautiful, like how she killed her winged eyeliner today, how her nose crinkles when she sm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 01:17 PM
16

I’m unclear on this part, but from what I gather he thinks she did it by taking her bipolar medication (which she stopped during the pregnancy, I think). I really have no idea how much of that is accurate, but in any case it’s a genetic issue. If only we were demigods in charge of the fortunes of our fetuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:00 AM
40

This is gonna be a rant because I am heated about this right now. I am privy to all this because I still live with my LVX and he likes to answer his phone on speaker (but I signed a lease today so woohoo!) Anyway. He has two brothers. One married a liberal woman and became liberal and the other married a very nice pickme and stayed conservative like the rest of the family. The whole family hates the liberal wife and thinks she is trying to manipulate and alienate the brother from the rest of the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:26 AM
99

You exercise wrong And 99% of them are the ones not stretching because it’s “too feminine” or not focusing on having solid form because “it’s lame to look like you’re trying”. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 01:43 AM
26

I had a guy corner me and try to pick me up in 3rd grade (during the “boys club” and “girls club” days). I told him to move like 3 times and he didn’t, so I punched him and gave him a bloody nose. Luckily the principal and all parents involved agreed that he deserved it. 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 01:46 PM
41

Yeah he also got a whole ass inheritance like a year or two before the divorce which he pissed away on some random failed business venture and gambling at breakneck speed. And just as she was done paying alimony the first kid was entering college, and the kids are pretty much exactly 4 years apart. But yeah, he would not have passed one second of vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 06:26 PM
104

The extra sad part is if she’s the primary breadwinner and divorces him there’s a good chance she’ll have to pay him alimony (depending where they live of course). This happened to my aunt. She got full custody of their 3 children and had to pay a totally able-bodied adult man alimony because he was too lazy to get a legit job for the 15 years they were married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:42 PM
2

Yeah I know phd students who are 21 and PhD students who are 35, it really depends. Same with masters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:00 PM
37

I do this too! I used to when I was younger and trying to explore my sexuality and at some point just stopped because that was some combination of “slutty”/“nerdy” that was not “allowed” if I wanted to be “cool”. But recently I got back into it and it’s awesome. Gets me thinking about what I actually want, gets me comfortable at describing it, and I have the stories for later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:02 PM
57

I had one fwb that did exactly this and it was a glorious two months. The extent of our conversations was “Saturday?” “Yeah. 8?” “Cool” and he always had condoms and lube. Then he had to leave the country because his study abroad ended. Womp womp.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 04:34 AM
8

Agreed. It takes much less brain real estate to write down everything I’m ranting in my head so I can read it when I need to, but don’t need to spend effort repeating it to myself 24/7 just to make sure I remember it. Journaling in general is 👌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 07:41 PM
18

Wait there’s better guys you can pay to see? Follow up; how do I put myself behind a paywall?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 07:07 PM
44

Bonus points if he’s not just disgusted over the bodily function itself, but the thought that the bodily function may exist. I have pretty nonexistent periods, like I cannot remember the last time I bought/used tampons (hooray for BC). LVX would not be down for any sexual activity if he knew I was on the inactive week of my pills even though I had absolutely no symptoms of having a period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 08:21 PM
19

More specifically he was walking on pizza box :) I guess that would be slightly less uncomfortable than eggshells
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:36 PM
55

“I’ll circle back on this” JFC I’ve been told the walking on eggshells thing sooo many times by NVM/LVM. The funny thing is I have friends with high standards, I have friends with very odd/particular preferences and never have I felt like I’ve been “walking on eggshells” around them. Maybe because I listen when they talk and actually care about committing brain space to what they like and don’t like, so it quickly becomes a habit to avoid the eggshells without even thinking about it. If you feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 06:22 PM
26

Because we still live together. We are both on the lease so can’t kick each other out. I work full time and am doing a masters program and this semester is particularly busy. If I moved out right now it would hurt my grades and since I don’t feel unsafe in our apartment I’m not willing to do that. I’ll be moving out May 1 right after the semester ends. ETA: I considered just not speaking to him but honestly a month and a half of purposefully cultivating an icy silence just seemed like more emoti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 03:02 PM
411

So the key to male success over the past 75 years is...having a woman to manage your life and drain herself looking after your physical and emotional well being so you have energy to focus on “success”. Groundbreaking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:56 PM
27

My ex just keeps validating my decision to break up with him. It’s great. I posted in the last weekly thread that he went on a date 4 days after we broke up (3 year relationship and I’m still in the process of moving out). He also updated his tinder profile 5 days before I broke up with him. That was LOL enough already. Since last Thursday he has: - sent me actually a very thoughtful apology email detailing the ways in which he was a dipshit after having a heart to heart with his brother. This w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 02:05 PM
4

It’s 90% by time you get to age 50 or so for HSV1. Basically if you die at a nice old age and don’t have herpes, you’re an anomaly. I did a year of high school in Italy and the kids there had just accepted that everyone had it. Like they talked about it as causally as acne or something. Actually you got more judged for acne.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:03 PM
3

I’m 99% sure my parents have herpes. They had absolutely no idea how prevalent it is (especially oral herpes). Upon learning it’s super common, my dad says “hmm I sometimes get cold sores and mild fever symptoms but they go away in a few weeks so I don’t think so” as if that has been a thing for as long as he can remember. I thank my lucky stars we are not a physically affectionate family. My grandfather still tries to kiss me on the cheek/mouth and then laughs in my face when I very awkwardly a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:50 PM
15

Yep. If you look at data (UN) the incidence of domestic physical, emotional, and sexual abuse and also non-intimate partner sexual abuse are pretty darn similar across countries. Of course it’s not 100% the same because what would result in an honor killing in one country might just get you disrespected/looked down on by your family in another. But honestly those differences seem more like the result of the laws in place rather than people being “better” or “worse”. ETA: summary source. Obviousl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:14 PM
14

Apparently his Facebook posts “lamented being single”. This is from a pretty right wing news source that one of my family members shared on Facebook trying to make the argument that this didn’t fit “the left’s narrative” ¿? 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 06:06 PM
3

To be fair he has miraculously good skin for putting absolutely no effort into it. So they aren’t really that chapped. Just enough for him to complain to me about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:17 PM
18

Was telling one of my friends about why I broke up with my ex and she literally exclaimed “the audacity!” Was quite validating, also wondering if she is here haha In other news the apartment search is going well. I think I found a place with a great layout in a great location and most importantly the cutest old built-in cabinets! My ex has tried to get me to do the work of looking for an apartment for him too. I told him he could pay me the rate my actual work pays me if he wants help. He’s also…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 01:28 PM
8

Thank you! In the discussions that immediately led to us breaking up one of the examples he gave to show me how much he cared about me (since I said it was feeling like he didn’t) was “foreplay and caring about my pleasure during sex” haha That comment would still not be great if the sex was bomb...but it was not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 02:03 PM
3

I loved Anne of Green Gables when I was a kid! What’s this one on?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:52 PM
26

I broke up with my boyfriend on Monday. He’s on a date tonight. Lettin’ me know I made the right choice 🙏😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 11:21 PM
54

Yeah, for some reason the 1/10 surprises me a lot more than the 3/10 🤷🏼‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 04:11 PM
121

I’m sorry, it was still 1/10 that actually admitted it??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:11 PM
9

That user commented this as a reply to three separate users on three separate subs recently 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 01:12 AM
8

Same! My (very recent) ex tried to defend himself by saying he thinks he’s “better about getting defensive than most people”. Like okay? I’m not dating most people? Apparently the only acceptable standard is “better than average”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 06:43 PM
15

Oh also I just bought a simple ring to signify my relationship with myself ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:36 PM
44

So I just officially broke up with the LVM I’ve been dating for 3 years and live with. We are both on the lease, which ends in July. I’m super busy with work and part time grad school and told him I won’t have time to move out until the semester ends in May. I said he could move out and find somewhere cheaper (he’s in a PhD program and really shouldn’t pay for this place on his own) and that I could afford to finish this lease. Or if he wants to wait til May I’ll move out at my leisure and then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 01:07 PM
22

Ugh, back in college I had convinced myself that if I always said yes that meant I would never get assaulted. Not even as a joke, just as some super cynical logical solution to the problem. Big yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 06:17 PM
8

Clearly! This all came up when I was super busy and stressed and he was not at all. One night I said “Hey, I was thinking starting next week you could be in charge of dishes?” I remember because I had actually spent time thinking of a non-“naggy” way to ask him. He launched into this (pretty impressive actually) list of excuses about why that was not a good idea. That’s when I just walked away and made the excel. Later, when he said I could have just asked and he would have understood, I literal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 04:32 PM
17

Are you me?? I’ve also made that excel. Then he came at me with “but when you do laundry for us more than half the clothes are yours so it’s mostly for you”. So I added allocation factors that showed “hours of work I do for me” and “hours of work I do for him”, and the same for work he does. Guess who still did the vast majority of the work?? I was very generous with the allocations too, and it ended up that I did 3ish hours a week for him and he did like 10 minutes a week for me. When he couldn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 03:08 PM
20

I wouldn’t expect them to cut it out entirely. I would mostly be concerned that they are always in a state where they have the capacity to address a medical issue if it were to arise - so not getting drunk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 02:39 PM
16

He had taken out the trash (after my reminding him it was his job multiple times) but of course didn’t finish the job by putting a new bag in the trash can. Like an hour later he had some takeout food trash. I watched this clown walk up to the trash can to throw it out, notice there was no bag, and throw it on the kitchen floor near the trash can and walk away. This isn’t as bad as some of the things on this thread, obviously, but I was just dumbfounded that a 27 year old adult would think this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 01:06 PM
34

Mine would poke my vagina/boob and ask “what’s this?” in this weird half childish half “seductive” voice. Then when we would start kissing he would purposefully breathe all heavy in my face 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 12:58 PM
3

I mean yeah haha But the choice is nice
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 10:35 PM
9

Health insurance/being able to see him in the hospital because you’re “family”. Not being able to be forced to testify against him. I’d check if you are in a common law marriage state. I think those states (though rare now) will start considering you to have common property and not be “two financially independent people” if you live together long enough. In that case it may be worth it to get married and have a solid prenup since that could protect you more than the default laws.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 02:19 PM
30

It’s amazing to me how she was very clearly creating a straw man, and even so chose to include a direct link to the post about the vasectomy bill, which any literate human can clearly see is not actually about forcing vasectomies. Usually when people try to straw man they don’t undercut themselves by including a citation to the very thing that proves they are setting up a straw man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 10:28 PM
219

Exactly. All it takes is a casual stroll on the bdsm subs to see that most of the women there are vulnerable and have low self esteem, and whatever “Doms” they post about are taking advantage of them. I used to be pretty into a lot of degrading kinks when I was younger but somehow they magically disappeared as I grew up and gained some confidence and self respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/21 02:03 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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