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lifelesslump69 Archive

View 2 posts and 26 comments by lifelesslump69 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

lifelesslump69/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 02:19 PM
2

lifelesslump69/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 01:00 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Not sure if this will help but if it gets worse once its filed... then you know you made the right choice. i havent decided how i will serve, but i know that is going to be a rough one as i have been struggling with it for some time. godspeed
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 06:31 PM
1

i am struggling mightily with being the one to decide and cause these emotions.... and to see the spouse react to everything like now its going to be different is so dang hard. i have started to hear it all and i have moments of doubt. then i get moments of it will be ok..... i just want to be better
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 02:40 PM
2

in this case i am initiating the divorce because i have had enough... i was definitely carrying a mr nice guy persona towards her - so yeah - i keep hearing the go thru hell to get the glimpse of heaven. its a common theme.... thank you
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 02:29 PM
3

i am in the same boat on finding courage... i am getting closer but losing my mind throughout the process. what i do know and is clear: you will be fine. she will be fine. the kids will be fine. all are resilient and will adjust with the time. thats all i got.... because everything else - i feel like i am going to lose my mind, heart, and soul on something that is pretty clear for me
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 08:33 PM
5

thank you. i am at my lowest of low points imaginable, and i initiated the talks. I am working towards initiating the paperwork and i have spiraled worse..... i am here because i gave foots, while not getting inches. It wasnt all bad, but there was too much giving and not enough receiving.... I dont worry about finding someone... i just worry about can i survive the hardest decision i ever had to make for myself. Especially given i always put myself last.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 07:21 PM
1

I picked staying in the marriage so long that the dog inside me is asleep or dead (or the soldier has left the war)..... she keeps saying the right things but the actions are off in every way. For me, its as you said, the comfort and stability, albeit it with triggers, is still something that makes me waver. The sick feelings of moving this forward to divorce has been overwhelming to me as well. i appreciate you sharing your path - because it allows me to know i am not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 01:55 PM
2

thank you for this.... very insightful
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 09:36 PM
2

I have asked myself that question a lot and i say no. The hurt has been too much for too long. Everything seems to trigger me. when we try to talk, it immediately shifts to how i handle it versus what of her behaviors caused the reaction. then, when she says she admittedly ignored my needs out of selfishness for 12+ years... and now that she knew i had an attorney consultation she wants to try (keep in mind, she still violated the boundary), i feel disgusted. I have even said, if she destroyed p…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 08:24 PM
1

thank you -- i have heard and seen this and know what i need to do. i still am afraid of the storm that follows of serving papers... and that is my last hurdle i need to tell myself it will be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:43 PM
1

thank you. the progress has not been good or well enough in the 2 months this has been going on... and our interactions in day to day have gotten worse. So yeah... its not being conflicted as it is in facing the reality of the storm that awaits
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:42 PM
2

we have gone thru the finances exhaustively. I had to take them over because of how bad it was in the beginning. Now, I bring in 70% of the household income and she spends majority of it. We know when and where we go over. I have reached a point where I choose not to get basic human needs for myself when we are so over (i.e. i will put off things like getting a haircut when i know its a bad month, which is usually every month hoping next month will be better). I have listed my asks for change an…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 06:41 PM
3

we have tried counseling.... and after 3 sessions she wanted to stop because the counselor focused on her too much on the last session. Let me share some of the details.... alcohol abuse is a problem, which resulted in many months/years of lying and hiding what was going on. just as recently as 2 weeks ago. lack of financial support or help. lying about quitting of a job because of burnout and leaving me to find a way to support everyone. then to be beat down when i lost my job.... but it still …
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 02:48 PM
2

the religious beliefs/morals are a slippery slope.... because there are also things in there about being true to yourself as well. its more than just infidelity and abuse. heck - in my situation, we did it at the courts. but i have the same religious beliefs/morals. you know what my support group has said: its a piece of paper that you are giving too much weight. Plus, you didnt do it in front of God, so are you really worried about religious beliefs.... guess you can say... its all about perspe…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 03:57 PM
4

any one i have ever talked thru that went thru it... all of them have said its been better on the other side. every single one of them.... everyone moves at their own pace, but i havent met one person who had regret. in fact, the only regret was waiting so long. we all want that crystal ball, but remember what got you where you were at... lastly - why wait for her to file? why dont you do it yourself? that way you can let the true healing begin.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 03:50 PM
3

I hope you find your strength and courage. For me… i have so many support people saying its been a long time coming i get disappointed when i think about staying…. But i cant say why im staying. I know what triggers and life awaits me. I want better then that. I want peace. Even if it means me being alone. So with that… i believe its a matter of when, not if…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:20 PM
3

I feel the letting go part being very difficult. The years of neglect, lies and abuse have worn on me. The times i am away (work travel or visiting family alone), the old me returns. Yet i am stuck with indecision… but cant explain why other then fear of hurt and being wrong (though me staying can be wrong too).
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 10:45 PM
2

I dont want to try anymore… but i have a spouse that insists all is good. And i say of course you do; you got everything you ever wanted…. I hate being in this position
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 10:40 PM
1

i am along those lines now if you must know... and i am not happy about it but i know i cant do what i have always done and need some type of catalyst, even if it means a black mark on myself. just wish i had more strength to head it off before it really gets too far gone for myself
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 08:03 PM
1

thanks. i am walking a very thin line right now - right on the edge of losing it.... i know what i want to do. its for the best but it seems so wrong on every level i have ever known. yet if anyone, and i mean anyone, came to me with what i lived through - i would not hesitate with voicing my opinion - which would be LEAVE!!!!! like yesterday - do not think twice.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 07:22 PM
6

who initiated? what was the cause? I started the talks, chickened out of filing, but know that i will be you if i can cross that line... until that, i am stuck here wondering what is my issue keep living your best life
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 04:49 PM
2

Why avoid?! I understand the alimony and support impacts, however, at what cost? When your needs are not being met, trust is an issue, and financially you face an uphill battle…. Rather be happy and alone then miserable in a partnership
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:15 AM
2

Why if no cheating work it out? Genuinely curious given my situation where it has been a one-sides compromise where trust was eroded
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:13 AM
2

I know where happiness lies, but getting there seems insurmountable at the moment May we both find strength and courage to do whats best for ourselves
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 11:12 PM
1

cash is king.... do it in small drabs.... play the long game if you are being serious. Much easier said then done comin from the person who wants to wing it lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 05:46 PM
2

I was always told you will know when you know... except i do know and still cant follow through. I cant think of a scenario where i can and trust me, there have been plenty of bad situations that any logical person would have been long gone. What Electronic-Ice said... except i am the type of person that prefers to wing it, i will take the high road, and as long as i dont walk away with zero - i will consider it win. for now.... i am in a similar spot of just debating on what is the best path fo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 04:02 PM
6

No words other than to say you are not alone. I am in the same exact position. Too many years of neglect, lies and hurt. Even to this day nothing changes and the problems are excused away. its the old, i cant change the past, we are moving forward and i want this to work. Of course you do - you never hadn't compromised and received everything you ever wanted. My entire support system which has grown to a size i never knew all support me and what i know i want to do.... and yet here i am straddli…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 04:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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