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View 9 posts and 78 comments by lisguy on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I will take a step back and read everything a few more times when some time will pass. Maybe nice guy tendencies made me blind to see the obvious. Appreciate the input. I'll get to work.
/r/askMRP22/01/25 07:03 AM
1

Then why are you continuing to have these conversations? It almost feels to me like you're describing a plate. She was promoted to be a first officer, why wouldn't I want to hear her out? Maybe I'm dense but why should I run away from conversations if they are done in a respectful manner? I'm not there to debate, explain, or defend, I listen because I'm cool with giving her my attention as long as it's respectful, and she may have insightful, important, or interesting things to say. Boundaries d…
/r/askMRP21/01/25 11:23 AM
1

OYS 8 Mid 20's, in a 2.5yr LTR, 157.5lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP. Frame and Relationship I am a bit confused. I read for years, I lift a lot, I'm a confident, attractive, and very social guy, so I would expect myself to be less au*istic with this stuff but just not able to see eye to eye or understand some of the pretty basic stuff here. I've posted and commented a lot on askmrp this week, really tried to suck in some knowledge and better my understanding but I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/25 09:47 AM
1

I'm letting her express herself as long as it's in a respectful way but I'm not accepting her judgment of my actions, I don't express or feel agreement with her whatsoever. This is basic WISNIFG and I don't see why I'm misapplying this in your opinion. And I'm not saying this to argue with you, the opposite actually - because I'm not new to this, I've read a lot of books and been on this journey for a couple years so if I need to sharpen my understanding or skills now is the time to do so and I'…
/r/askMRP19/01/25 04:13 PM
1

We need to talk about this blablabla - restate your boundary in 7 words max then shut the fuck up. But isn't the problem the WAY things are said? I mean if she wants to tell me the exact same thing but in a calm respectful manner, isn't she fine or am I tripping? Because my boundary is against being an unpleasant bitch, not against expressing disappointment or criticism generally
/r/askMRP19/01/25 12:25 PM
2

First of all I really appreciate the help. It might sound like I'm arguing but it's me genuinely trying to understand and change. I did read both NMMNG and WISNIFG, as well as some other sidebar books. I don't believe that I'm trying to convince her I'm right. Maybe reach a workable compromise but not convince. I agree and understand that when it's an emotional outburst of nonsense I should leave the conversation, and I was wrong not to hang up in the initial conversation. But that's not to say …
/r/askMRP19/01/25 12:02 PM
1

Look since you took your time to reply to every comment in this thread I'll paste what I've answered another guy: I must be missing something because I don't understand how you can lead a relationship or marriage without talking with someone ever on what's bothering them, and I don't know what kind of woman doesn't have boundaries over this. If she has a genuine problem and not just a tantrum, it will either be discussed or I'm simply checking out of the relationship because we can't talk. Not s…
/r/askMRP18/01/25 07:04 AM
1

I am sure the problem is me and not the women, otherwise I wouldn't have tried to fix this. , if she starts with the bullshit again, end the conversation immediately. I must be missing something because I don't understand how you can lead a relationship or marriage without talking with someone ever on what's bothering them, and I don't know what kind of woman doesn't have boundaries over this. If she has a genuine problem and not just a tantrum, it will either be discussed or I'm simply checking…
/r/askMRP18/01/25 07:01 AM
1

This is a good example and I like how you've dealt with this. In my case it's not a problem of avoiding someone being angry at me, but dealing with a person who frequently criticizes me by insisting that the way I act towards them is crossing boundaries and is disrespectful/objectifying/whatever, while also being very emotional in those situations. For me it doesn't make any sense, so I don't take this criticism seriously and it just gets worse. Maybe it's some attempt to constantly make me soft…
/r/askMRP17/01/25 07:26 AM
1

You did 1 thing right - STFU for a day. But later lost it with more verbal puke. No, I'm still STFU, haven't made contact since saying I'm not interested to talk. I want to understand myself and the way I act better first. Look as I've said I agree with you fully and I see my mistake laying down the boundary and then not leaving. But I'm talking about a situation in which I would've left - unless I nuke it completely and never talk to her again, we'll talk eventually. Next day, next week, doesn'…
/r/askMRP16/01/25 09:02 PM
1

I know and love this post, and do acknowledge I should've stopped the conversation sooner. I do think though that most of the time in my experience it's just kicking the can down the road, as I'll have to deal with this conversation later. Next time we talk it'll just go back to the same point of dealing with a person asking me to change the way I act, then deal with tests such as "do you even care if your actions hurt me?" when I refuse.
/r/askMRP16/01/25 08:31 PM
1

Sounds great! After 30 days did you have to acknowledge what happened? Deal with some type of "what were you thinking" attitude? Just called and acted like nothing happened?
/r/askMRP16/01/25 06:49 PM
1

I know my goals for life and career, and I want my woman as my first officer to be by my side as I navigate life, to have fun, to bring me peace of mind after a rough day, and eventually to have children with her.
/r/askMRP16/01/25 12:24 PM
0

This is a good one, I laughed but this is underplaying the situation. For whatever reason it never ends like this. A few minutes later or next time we'll talk I'll get a rant about how I didn't take it seriously, about this being a boundary crossed, and demands for me to answer it seriously. I'll fog or AM and exit again, but it will not be dropped until I say something serious - either cave in, or say that I am not gonna change, and then that no I don't really care enough how she feels for it t…
/r/askMRP16/01/25 12:21 PM
-2

Got a good laugh out of this. I was indeed blind to see what I'm really doing in the situation. Appreciate the input. But even if I exit it's just kicking the can down the road, next time we talk it will be right back where I left.
/r/askMRP16/01/25 07:57 AM
4

Are you really this dense? Maybe I am. I understand your point, I probably just lied to myself and didn't I enforce the boundary. Next time. Appreciate the tough love.
/r/askMRP15/01/25 04:50 PM
0

So basically I'm too tolerant and should have left sooner? you sit there and try to soothe her. How come? If anything she broke down because I just told her I don't care about her feelings, and later left the conversation. Asking genuinely to understand
/r/askMRP15/01/25 04:41 PM
1

Is your point that I had no direction there? My goal was to have a fun evening, and I had a pleasant day, so when it went sour I told her if she can't be pleasant I'll leave, so that's what I did. Eventually I didn't really get my peace with her going obsessive and calling all day so I'm not sure what went wrong, but I feel like I knew exactly what I wanted.
/r/askMRP15/01/25 03:06 PM
1

Can you explicitly state your boundaries in this situation? Yes. First of all if someone insists on ruining my mood without any good reason or continuously bash me with manipulative criticism I excuse myself from the situation - I also told her this mid convo. Second of all if someone's talking in a violent way or calling my names (and telling me to go f myself is the same for this matter) I also excuse myself and don't waste my time on them - this I see no need to explain to her or anybody else…
/r/askMRP15/01/25 07:11 AM
-2

Her feelings are a tool for manipulation - she'll cry for me to I cave in and tell her that I will never mistreat her again or something - it doesn't really matter. What kind of reaction is this to telling your girl you're going on a date together? Objectifying her? I cannot entertain this type of thing this is laughable.
/r/askMRP15/01/25 06:51 AM
1

This is exactly what I've tried to implement - focus on myself, stayed amused, did not give in to care for how she feels but focus on me being in a good mood, exit when boundary is crossed.
/r/askMRP14/01/25 10:43 PM
1

Sex is very good and passionate currently. Bitchiness is pretty rare and if anything the dynamic got better after this trip, but even if the outcome was good I posted this to get better and more confident in such situations next time. Sometimes when shit goes south my mind tends to go blank, so I have a lot to work on.
/r/askMRP28/12/24 01:53 PM
3

Ok I understand now. Thanks, it's very insightful
/r/askMRP28/12/24 06:30 AM
2

Then you stand around awkwardly for 30 minutes because you’re scared to walk away. I really want to understand your point better. Maybe it's a cultural thing, but even if she disrespects me in an emotional outburst I won't leave her alone in a dangerous spot. At the moment I asked myself what I want to do now - and just enjoyed the view and the fresh air. I didn't try to change how she feels or how she behaved, just enjoyed my time. Why is that behaving like a toddler? Not rhetorical, I'm really…
/r/askMRP28/12/24 06:02 AM
1

who the fvck gets so emotional after getting some water on their pants? Also, why are you apologizing over and over for that shit? She doesn't respect you btw. I didn't expect this emotional reaction as well. I apologized once when it happened, and didn't think of it seriously. I refused later to apologize again when she asked, I found it funny at the time Start using Walk Away and Mean It tool more often. I will. Thanks
/r/askMRP28/12/24 05:45 AM
1

Start asking yourself why you need your wife to behave a certain way. I am only contemplating my own mental models and behaviors. She can act in whatever way she wants and I don't intend or try to change her.
/r/askMRP28/12/24 05:43 AM
1

Yes maybe I didn't explain the situation well. A simple, "Oh shit, sorry about that" would have been fine. That's what it was. The hug was like you say to a sad child "ohh that's ok" with a smile/laugh. It wasn't even that serious and in my eyes that was it, but she moved away from me and told me not to touch her, so that's why I stepped away and went to enjoy the view. "Look, you can hate me and you don't have to talk to me but I'm not just going to leave you in a place we don't know." I said t…
/r/askMRP28/12/24 05:40 AM
1

I completely agree in theory, but if your wife has an emotional outburst and completely disrespects you but you're in the woods at night. She's not thinking clearly, the doesn't want to come home - would you really leave her alone? Because that's the point this lies on.
/r/askMRP28/12/24 05:03 AM
1

Every bit of this, top to bottom (including your questions here), was an attempt to manage her emotions. This might be true. Let's imagine a mental model of a better me that doesn't care at all, and is just concerned with himself - what would that look like? Let's trust me with the safety in a foreign place thing, and I imagine this will go like this: Laughing at the pants situation, then if there's no cooperation and bad vibes I'm not entertaining it, just enjoying the view, not responding to m…
/r/askMRP27/12/24 07:05 PM
2

Great analogy. I am catching myself very worried about safety, and didn't consider that maybe she wouldn't have left and put herself at risk, but it's a risk I probably wouldn't take in this specific occasion because of the circumstances. A very good point nonetheless, thanks
/r/askMRP27/12/24 06:35 PM
2

Fair. Overall I think it played out fine, but I would've liked to kill the situation earlier. In fairness if not the safety issue of the location I would've just left.
/r/askMRP27/12/24 06:18 PM
0

I would have been tempted to say "you're right, I ruined your pants, let's go home so I can take those pants off of you". That's a good point. I did take it lightly, but not with this amount of amusement, I do need to try to be more carefree as situations go south. At some point I also wanted to go home together as the mood wasn't there. She refused, so I disengaged and enjoyed the view until she looked like she calmed down.
/r/askMRP27/12/24 06:14 PM
3

Sometimes you just need to acknowledge that you made a mistake and then drop it. If she insists on harping on it longer than necessary then there are tools for dealing with that. That wasn't the case here. In my eyes that's exactly the case - can you elaborate why not? I said sorry as this happened and then got a "don't touch me and get away from me" treatment, to which I disengaged until she calmed down. Did you understand it differently?
/r/askMRP27/12/24 06:09 PM
-1

I would’ve fucking left her there faster than a divorced MRP dude proposes to the next chick that touches their wiener. I agree. As I've said, I would've too if we weren't alone in an unknown place and I wasn't worried for her safety. I also agree this displayed bad boundary enforcement but I don't see a good alternative that isn't irresponsible.
/r/askMRP27/12/24 05:56 PM
6

What else do you want? To improve as a captain, learn proper handling of annoying situations like this one. If this was a proper handling of the situation then I'm glad my judgment was correct, if not I'll improve.
/r/askMRP27/12/24 04:30 PM
1

Sex is your responsibility, you lead she follows, if not you absolutely can get up and walk away as it is wasting your time and not what you want. I agree. If I'll get rejections on the regular I guess I'll have to get out eventually. I'll see the next couple weeks/month.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/24 10:52 PM
1

That's how I reached my current weight, I already add olive oil, peanut butter and similar things to my diet. The calories have always been that's holding me back, I was getting better at it bit by bit until but now I'm stuck again. I'm sure it's possible, I just need to be stronger mentally and try even harder.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/24 02:45 PM
1

OYS 7 Mid 20's, in a 2.5yr LTR, 155lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP Work, Hobbies, and current state in life I'm working both in and after working hours on some things that will enable me to get into managerial positions in the future. This, working out, and doing house work takes up pretty much all of my time. Besides that only thing I do is spend time with my gf once a week, and see a friend or go out once a week. I tried to go out more lately, contacted some old f…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/24 08:46 AM
1

I guess because I've never been dissatisfied emotionally or sexually with her it never crossed my mind to make such a thing a "make it or break it" situation. But maybe it is a good test for her - showing my vulnerability, telling her what I want and expect from now, and see how it all turns out. After all the most important thing is to see how much she's worth the commitment, and as soon as possible.
/r/askMRP04/08/24 05:01 AM
1

I didn't communicate this to her, but she communicated to me. Told me in tears that she feels bad about having such a hard time making those sacrifices and being away from home while it's easy for me, and promised to try (she brought it up, I never said anything about it). Until she actually acts on it I don't take it too seriously, talk is cheap. I get what you're saying, as I said it never really bothered me but I'm wondering if there's an underlying problem here I'm not understanding, because…
/r/askMRP04/08/24 04:31 AM
2

Also broken record
/r/askMRP03/08/24 08:51 AM
1

OYS 6 Mid 20's, in a 2yr LTR, 155lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP Social Lift & Hobbies: I understood this week that I need to make my weekends more interesting. For some time now I don't feel like the guy who's just doing awesome stuff every weekend. Closed my little business for now, and I only spend my time reading, resting, just chilling, but nothing really adventurous. Maybe I need to start talking with some old friends again, gather up some new ideas. Also keep…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/24 01:25 PM
3

Any routine of those you mentioned would work. The most important thing is to stay consistent.
/r/askMRP22/07/24 02:50 PM
3

OYS 5 Mid 20's, in a 2yr LTR, 145lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, Reading TMMSLP. *Social Life & Work * Work is good, having a big change soon that will improve my knowledge greatly. Social life is very stable and nice. Initiated big sport event with friends lately, people thanked me for it and others said they are interested. Seems like it will be even bigger. Trying to balance social life with learning more about personal finance and making more money lately. Fitness Star…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/24 09:30 AM
1

OYS 4 Mid 20's, in a 2yr LTR, 150lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, Reading TMMSLP. *Social Life & Work * Nothing new. Work's going great, having more free time currently so I'm my workouts more seriously and reading more. Social life is also pretty good lately, I've noticed myself becoming much more popular socially at work. Fitness Need an advice here. Currently finishing my first cut (after gaining 25 lbs in 2 years), also not losing muscle which is great. 1RM: SQ 200, BP …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/24 07:25 AM
2

Yes. Donald Glover talks about the importance of male friends and companions on NMMNG, suggest you give it a read
/r/askMRP16/05/24 05:57 AM
1

in your situation, she feels you've been tamed and you will not walk out if you felt it necessary. I agree, but I am willing to walk away if necessary and she knows I don't have a hard time attracting women. Maybe she just doesn't see this as much as before, I'm not sure why. Personally, If you feel she's taking you for granted I'd be less willing to say "I want to see you." At this time your wants mean shit. I agree, lesson learned. Shoot her a text "I'm going up to visit xyz(mom, etc.) I won't…
/r/askMRP21/04/24 07:35 AM
2

I understand what you say, and am definitely still building my frame and putting in the work. Do you think my responses were worse then simply stfu? Better if I stayed silent or fogged each one of those? They're funny to me so I laugh at them.
/r/askMRP21/04/24 07:17 AM
1

I agree with you on the doing less and providing less comfort part, but I don't see how to treat those events like comfort tests. These are very far from the comfort tests I know, do you mind giving an example of how you'd deal with those?
/r/askMRP21/04/24 07:07 AM
1

Like what does this even mean? She told you to stop, and rather than disengaging from her you persisted? Why? This was my way of brushing it off, I didn't persist in any way. What disappeared? The text? The attitude? Your inability to communicate is starting to become more obvious. Yes I wasn't clear in my post. She just didn't mention it again. Looks like the only way you engage with her is through teasing, which is fine at first but you retards need to understand that negging and teasing only …
/r/askMRP21/04/24 06:42 AM
1

optimal >>> not invalid Would love to hear how it would be better to deal with a woman repeating "I'm serious. Stop with this type of remarks" if not laughing (because I found the swift change genuinely funny) and then stfu. Sometimes I'll indeed try to have fun with it and eventually stumble upon a repeated "I'm serious. Stop making it a joke" end, so I'll just brush it off and dgaf. Internally, at this point it's just not longer fun so I just change the subject or go do something else. Also le…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/04/24 08:44 AM
1

Because "being sexual" is something you just introduced to your marriage. Its new and she does not know whether its the real you(Its not). That's not true. She started as a plate, a fuck buddy, then rised to be a LTR, so it started from being sexual. I probably lost my frame somewhere along the way. So suppose you were actual alpha whose nature is being sexual. What would your response be? Would you plow through the shit tests because you are sexual by nature and not give any apologies for being…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/24 04:38 PM
2

Boooooooo.. Pass the fucking shit test. Why is her saying in full seriousness that she wants me to stop acting like this any different than a hard no like "don't touch me" when escalating? I guess I don't understand the difference between a hard no which I brush off to a shit test in those situations. Take a hard look at yourself and figure out why are you filled with so much doubts about your own attractiveness. Yes I am somewhat unstable with my confidence. Some days I feel very confident but …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/24 03:05 PM
1

Thanks So you dont lead her into being sexual and she is less sexual. Hmm wonder why? That's the thing, I was way more sexual, recently I get a lot more hard nos on stuff like this. Example: her on a call - babe wanna help me choose what to wear for today? Me - sure, only if I also choose what underwear you wear for me tomorrow. Her - stop, you're too much. You don't have to make everything sexual. I'm serious. Me - changing subject (stfu basically). I was always very sexual and we had fun talki…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/24 12:00 PM
2

OYS 3 Mid 20's, in a 2yr LTR, 155lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP (40%) Work Going well, doing some different tasks on a work trip so it's a nice change of pace. Social Life Like I've said in the previous oys I took some space from all the social life stuff to focus more on doing some personal tasks like fixes around the house. This was successful. Yesterday spent some time with a female coworker, it was pretty flirty so I had fun. Fitness 1RM: SQ 200, BP 215, (R)DL …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/04/24 10:46 AM
2

Mid 20's, in a 2yr LTR, 155lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP (40%) Work Nothing special to report. A fun week, had some good times with my co-workers. Social Life + Scheduling I'm thinking to cut a bit from all the social life. Currently I see co-workers for a guys night least once in 2 weeks, same for seeing a friend who's making music and helping him with that (which is more of a hobby for me, not a chore), and seeing my gf at least once a week. Rest of the evenings…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/24 03:28 PM
2

I was ~128 lbs when started. To be honest I'd love to get to 170 as well but in the past months I'm mostly stuck - eating 5 meals a day, each to a point where I'm full, but sadly as I've explained I can't really calculate the amount. It's very taxing mentally, and taxing on my schedule. My hope is that after I cut ~10lbs for 2-3 months of hopefully mostly fat I'll be passionate again to eat more and get to new weights, plus I'll look more defined, so that's the plan.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/04/24 01:21 PM
1

1RM: SQ 200, BP 215, (R)DL 240. I've been counting calories before - eating around 3000, but currently my biggest 2 meals are at work so it's not able to count macros and it indeed makes dieting more difficult. I know I have a lot of space for bulk, but I'm so mentally tired of bulking and trying to eat more and more (somewhat unsuccessfully since gaining 25lbs) that I feel like doing this cut will give me some new space and motivation for growth. Plus I'll get my defined 6 pack back.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 10:35 AM
3

OYS 1 Mid 20's, in a 2yr LTR, 155lbs, 5'9, fit. Read Book of Pook, NMMNG, WISNIFG, TMM, TMMSLP (30%) The OYS Right now as others pointed in the posts I've posted to askmrp this week I'm in an embarrassing situation, as is evident by me worrying a lot for my little relationship. My goal here is get on the path to be a better man, since just reading and lifting don't get me there currently. I am ready to work hard to unfuck myself. Work I'm at a good place at work. Getting better, getting some mor…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/24 08:57 AM
1

Thank you man. This is more than I deserve. I have a much better idea as to what I should've done differently now and will implement it going forward.
/r/askMRP02/04/24 08:49 AM
0

Will do.
/r/askMRP01/04/24 04:14 PM
0

What do you mean by DIY MRP? I'm reading the material and sidebar, I lift seriously, I try to implement (unsuccessfully) for my relationships and be less of a nice guy.
/r/askMRP01/04/24 02:13 PM
1

I know I am the problem. I want to face the problem that I am head on and walk out a better man. It will be much sadder if I get to 35 and not learn a single lesson from the embarrassments of today. Reading does help me but not to the extent I'd expect, so I'm hoping to understand here my path to unfuck myself.
/r/askMRP01/04/24 11:55 AM
0

I am indeed embarrassed with myself. Even if my LTR ends I want to know I came out as a better man, so I need to learn as much as possible from my mistakes and experiences. The real embarrassment will be staying in the same position without moving forward.
/r/askMRP01/04/24 11:52 AM
5

I know, you're right. It always feels like on the verge of a total nuke in those situations so I lose the balls to just say "I don't got the time nor want to take part in this emotional bullshit right now. If you can't handle that you need to go home" If I see in the next couple days / weeks we're not back at our regular fun ways I'll know it's time to get rid of her for good. Thanks man
/r/askMRP01/04/24 10:59 AM
-1

Interesting point about being nice. As someone who works not to be a nice guy I'd love to hear what you mean by that - is being nice just giving comfort but still not taking her seriously/fogging/NI? Is being nice explaining myself and trying to avoid her getting riled up (basically deering a bit)? The soft nexts are a good boundary enforcement method, thanks.
/r/askMRP31/03/24 01:16 PM
4

Yes, I've dated her for 6 months of vetting alongside other plates before those 2 years. My first thought was branch swinging as well. I'll stay aloof and positive, if the attraction and sex don't return soon I'll know that's the case and I'll cut my losses as early as possible. The only way I can think I fucked up is not being in a mood to go out on some festival with her recently, and she had massive fomo for a few days as a result. Both cases the plan is the same, I'll enforce my boundaries h…
/r/askMRP31/03/24 09:15 AM
3

I agree. Should boundary establishment be like a serious talk? Or just casually mention what she did and say that i have a boundary there and she should know about it?
/r/askMRP02/08/23 10:40 AM
1

Thanks, it makes sense. If I do bring it up later it won't be as relevant or natural, so should I just remind her of that picture out of the blue and tell her that although she can do whatever she wants she should know that that's my boundary? Feels even more butthurt or weird in that way if I bring it up after a couple of days. Maybe there's a better way to establish my boundary so it won't be so weird that I don't understand.
/r/askMRP01/08/23 05:10 PM
3

There's no objective truth here but it's imo it's a grey area. Not something outrageous but it being a mirror pic of a full body bikini pose is not something I've seen her put publicly, it's not like a beach pic with friends, and it's not the most modest bikini, that's why I've been hesitant on whether I should talk to her about my boundary here and tell her that this picture pretty much is the boundary.
/r/askMRP01/08/23 04:33 PM
1

Yes I've thought about that too, been really busy lately so it makes sense. I don't want it to be like "A talk" though, should something like that be brought up casually in a "just so you know" way? Just feels a bit unnatural the whole thing since I never really explicitly said "this is a boundary of mine" on something, things were always clear without mentioning.
/r/askMRP01/08/23 03:49 PM
2

Yes it definitely stirred me up more than it should. I'll tell her when time's right that she can do whatever she wants but she should know that this is where my boundary is and I don't date girls that do stuff like this.
/r/askMRP01/08/23 02:56 PM
2

I never overtly told her where's the line, I'm not even sure I can draw a hard line in a topic like this (should I?). She does know my values and what I don't appreciate, probably thought this is reasonable. Should I overtly explain that this is where my boundary is to establish it correctly?
/r/askMRP01/08/23 09:24 AM
1

Added
/r/askMRP01/08/23 08:07 AM
1

But not everytime she's gonna wait for a hug. Sometimes she'll be salty, ask for an apology, etc. Those times I guess you just gotta do you, be ready for her to come back, but take a step back and let her deal with the emotions. Sounds right?
/r/askMRP26/01/23 01:26 PM
1

Yes, next time I will offer more emotional support and less practical solutions. Would you stay in a conversation where you help your wife while she's telling you you're just making everything worse and your suggestions are horrible? And what about after a whole hour of this bullshit? would you still think "it's fine, that's just a storm of emotions" and not disrespect for the person providing you support?
/r/askMRP26/01/23 12:42 PM
1

Sounds like the right way. After all this I guess I'll get tested for it and she'll insist on having a talk or something but I won't elaborate, maybe give comfort.
/r/askMRP26/01/23 07:13 AM
4

Thank you. I remember reading here once about the need to establish a boundary before acting on it so the message is clear and understood, otherwise it's like a child that makes an irrational rule that he insists everybody be OK with (iirc the example was something funny like a child insisting on only eating cucumbers). So maybe I don't remember the message correctly or misunderstood the point, because that's why I decided to establish the boundary this time and enforce it from here on.
/r/askMRP26/01/23 06:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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