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little_ga_peach Archive

View 5 posts and 164 comments by little_ga_peach on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Hey OP, I recently posted about MIL woes as well, though my FMIL is not a narcissist so it's slightly different. I constantly try to smooth things out between my man and his mother when I should be butting out and letting him handle it. The only person you can control in this situation is you. Stay out of it. Be supportive without giving him advice. Only give him your opinion if he asks. Otherwise it's his to figure out.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 11:09 PM
3

Smart wool is the best! I have a pair myself. They're my favorite socks.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 11:06 PM
5

I know!! Fresh brand new socks is one of life's most underrated pleasures.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 05:32 PM
3

Me too!
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 05:32 PM
22

Am I the only one who likes getting socks for Christmas? Is my age showing?
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 05:19 PM
13

I recently found out that Georgia Tech used to give an honorary degree to the wives of married male students when they graduated, because even though the wives had not personally gone there, they had been the support system to get their men through to the end of their degree. This story has really stuck with me for the past few days, and your post is so well-timed. What people don't understand is that your support is what carries your husband further in a successful and challenging career. You o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 01:44 PM
1

Really interesting to read. I had never thought of it as cyclical.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 01:35 PM
2

Isn't it interesting how control is like whack-a-mole? It is! The other interesting part is that I would have always described myself as a non-controlling, laid back person. HA! The thought of that cracks me up now. I was not in touch with who I really was or owning my bad habits. It's about taking a chill pill (showing my age?) and letting go. Exactly. When I realized the reason our relationship wasn't improving was because I was standing in the way of this, I did my best to get the heck out of…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 01:33 PM
1

Are you me? We must be twins! Yes...still so much to work on (which I'll report back on eventually), but nowadays I catch my man just gazing and smiling at me from across the room with this loving look in his eyes which he's NEVER done before.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 01:31 PM
1

You can do it! Just keep at it :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 01:29 PM
1

It is! I didn't even notice I was doing it for the longest time. Now that I've been consciously working on it, if it slips out of my mouth my fiance looks at me like "Yeah I'm freaking sure." haha
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 01:29 PM
7

There's so many women I knew in my early 20s who have just spent every year since then on academia getting degrees in English or women's studies. I often wonder what will happen when they wake up at 35, single, six figures in debt with six degrees that don't amount to a career. EDIT: speeeling
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 02:47 AM
1

That is an excellent quote that pretty much sums it up. He was paying for another man's sins. I'm glad he called me on my shit because otherwise I would have lost him and it would have been my fault.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 12:56 AM
2

Yes it was really easy to live in that victim head space. At times it felt like it was my identity. Who wants to live in the past like that? It was strangling my relationship to death and it was my fault. That's cute y'all do the sheet masks together. I got my DF to do a mint facial with me once and he was surprised at how much he enjoyed it!
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 12:11 AM
1

Thanks for the feedback. I didn't set out for it to be this long but there was a lot to report!
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/15 12:09 AM
3

Yes and I was justifying it to myself as "Oh I'm just being helpful!" It's just not helpful. It's undermining and exhausting. If I can trust his judgement on large, financial life choices surely I can shut my trap and trust it on small things like what to have for dinner lol Thanks for reading!
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/15 10:20 PM
1

Hey thanks for reading my novel! Haha It was really easy for me to assume I was some sort of all-knowing mind reader. The truth (which may be self evident) is that different men want different things. It was pretty selfish of me to just go ahead and act like I knew better than he did about his wants and needs. Ultimately we had a long talk about relationship roles, our love languages and what makes us feel complete and went from there. Learning our love languages was especially eye-opening and h…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/15 10:06 PM
4

For me it was this weird habit where I didn't even realize I was doing it because it had become so routine. I mean, yikes. Could you imagine having everything you did or every decision questioned? Even the small ones. "Let's go to X grocery store. They have better produce." "Oh are you sure? The other one is closer." I still catch myself doing it from time to time, so I work hard to be conscious of it and to stop being such a crazy control freak.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/15 08:53 PM
1

Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/15 06:52 PM
1

It felt like I was being harsh when I was being direct with her. I feel I was pretty straightforward when I told her she was the problem. Maybe that's considered coddling nowadays.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/15 01:22 PM
9

This was my first thought too. It's odd he didn't expect the boyfriend to share his concerns either.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/15 02:59 PM
3

Wow! Wow wow wow. This post is amazing. Good for you for taking a hard look at yourself and seeing yourself clearly. That takes guts and some serious maturity.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/15 01:10 PM
6

Sounds like you need to seek a second opinion at the OBGYN and work on yourself so you have more to offer.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/15 06:28 PM
8

I know I put a lot of stock into what other people think Why do you put so much stock in what other people think? You need to work on caring less. I think this is part of the problem. Additionally, you continuously go after lower-value men because they don't challenge you to make yourself better. You say this is what you're attracted to, however if you're embarrassed by them then it's not actually what you are attracted to. Work on yourself if you want a higher value man.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/15 05:01 PM
6

I hate to be harsh but the common denominator is you. If you want a different type of man, switch something up to attract a different type of man.
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/15 04:33 PM
12

Why do you keep dating the same exact type of person and expect different results?
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/15 02:41 PM
1

Off topic, but I really like your username. She will never understand you. This really hits home. My FMIL is highly intelligent. She has a doctorate in microbiology, but didn't have much of a career beyond that. On the opposite hand, I have a four year art degree, and (not to pat myself on the back too hard here) I have a pretty illustrious career. I work for a high-powered consulting firm at an extremely high level and have won some pretty large awards for my work in the art community. She only…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/15 04:33 PM
1

Haha well thank you. I usually HAVE to make him gifts because he just buys whatever he wants (like you said above) but I'm running out of things to make. He really only needs so many pairs of slippers!
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 07:40 PM
2

They have one male and one female dog. Poor embarrassed dogs!
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:35 PM
1

By doing this you are putting yourself in the middle, creating a weird place for yourself regarding both of them. I suggest you stop doing this. Yes I can see this. I feel this weird need to smooth things out between them when it gets tense because I feel awkward. If my fiance gets frustrated at his mom, I feel the need to be like "Okay let's relax. Why don't you take this beer and go sit down? Your mom and I have it under control." I am aiming to help but probably making the situation worse (HA…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:34 PM
1

I really hope that she doesn't feel unliked or unwelcome in our home because I really do like her. I would feel terrible if that was the case!! I can see how she might feel that way if she was picking up on my mood, as much as I tried to hide it. Maybe at Christmas I'll take her and my mother for a mani-pedi just to get some "girls" time and help her relax a little bit. She also really likes this board game called Rummikub so I can get a copy to keep at our house and bring it out after dinner on…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:32 PM
3

Yeah I think the open-ended part is what she struggles with when it comes to cooking because she doesn't really cook at home. My fiance's father is an excellent cook and generally handles the kitchen tasks by himself. I think she just wanted to take a load off but didn't really know how. Being more specific next time would probably help her out.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:29 PM
1

They live about 5-6 hours away, so when they come visit (or we visit them) it has to be at least a weekend just due to the distance. That's a great perspective because she does project her opinions onto us, but my fiance usually just lets it go (even though he is annoyed by it). There's no need to ruffle any feathers if we just continue to do our own thing while graciously accepting her opinion. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:28 PM
2

I have never heard of those! I'll look into that as an alternative in case my fiance decides he still wants the dogs to visit.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:26 PM
1

I'm trying to come up with something to either make him or buy him. I got him a t shirt from my college (inside joke between us since he's always buying me things from his college to wear) and a set of REALLY nice pajamas since he only has two sets right now and loves them to death. I would like to get him something else that's kind of a bigger gift, but I'm a little stumped. Last year I knit him slippers, painted him two portraits (one of his dog, one of his favorite video game character) and g…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 05:14 PM
1

It is! Recently I've been seeing a lot of people who knit or crochet their own wedding dresses. Just...wow. That is seriously incredible.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 08:17 PM
1

Are you on ravelry? If you're not, BEWARE. It's seriously addicting. I could spend time looking through patterns all damn day.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 08:08 PM
2

Thanks for sharing! I was raised in a religious household, though I do not practice. I still admire the way my mother managed our house and supported my father. I bet she drew a lot of it from resources like this. :D
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 07:53 PM
1

Yes I just had my wake up call on Christmas gifts today when I realized that December starts TOMORROW. Thankfully I'm 3/4 of the way through my biggest project (knitting a throw blanket for my mom), but I still need to figure out a few gifts on my list for some of my more difficult-to-craft-or-shop-for family members.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 07:44 PM
1

What is the 90 day proverbs 31 wife challenge? This sounds interesting!
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 07:42 PM
1

It's very easy in this world to cling to "winning" the argument but if it turns the relationship to crap then really what have you won? Wow. Yes. You get to be alone with your self satisfaction and not much else.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 07:35 PM
2

If he asks you, answer him directly. Yes I can see this. I think I harped on the pies a lot when that wasn't the real problem, you know? I should have just let them roll off my back no matter how disappointing it was because she genuinely was trying to help out. But follow your fiance's lead. But don't let legitimate things pile up on you either. I'm working on this. I'm not good at articulating boundaries, and when Fiance was already stressed with his family, I felt bad piling on more because I…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 07:16 PM
4

Meanwhile, pour yourself a glass of wine and enjoy her company. You're right. I need to RELAX and stop worrying and getting all caught up in her behavior when I know her heart is in the right place. Thanks for the reality check.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 07:06 PM
3

Maybe something like that would give her an opportunity to bond with you guys while doing something she shines at. Okay that's a good idea. She loves this game called Rummikub. Maybe I will buy a copy to keep at our house and surprise her with it at Christmas. The cooking class would also be a great idea. We don't really do much just the two of us, so it might help us understand each other better. It's almost like we're both trying to do this dance to be helpful and not step on the other's toes,…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 06:57 PM
3

If she brings her dogs and your fiancé allows it, then it's okie dokie. They have been kind of treating us like built in dog sitters, and he stopped allowing them to do that about a year ago, and after the craziness of this past weekend he mentioned he was going to tell them to not bring their dogs at Christmas. I know he's worried they'll be upset with the boundary because they are really attached to their dogs, but I also think him watching me on my hands and knees scrubbing pee from the carpe…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 06:55 PM
3

Thank you! I don't feel understanding because I know in my head I'm feeling annoyed at her. I think you absolutely hit the nail on the head. She is not a good cook, and honestly she doesn't realize that. I don't want to be the one to point it out to her lol She loves to cook for us even though generally her husband (FFIL) is an incredible cook and usually does the cooking for the two of them. I wonder if it's a nurturing thing since she doesn't get much opportunity to spoil and take care of her …
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 06:31 PM
2

You too!! :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 05:01 AM
1

You can send him a comfort box. Since he's sick, maybe some tea or hot cocoa mix and new flannel PJs or something like that?
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 08:57 PM
2

This is going to sound harsh, but I'm in my 20s and have zero issue finding things with friends without partying. Find people who don't have to always be drinking. This just sounds like an excuse to not change your ways.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 07:11 PM
2

I have blunt bangs, and my man hates bangs generally. I grew them out to appease him but I warned him I look way better and younger with them. When he saw the difference he was like oh yeah, you need bangs. Have happily had blunt bangs ever since.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:38 PM
1

So I was diagnosed with PTSD a few years ago. I went through EMDR therapy for it and have it under control. However, there are aspects of it that do affect my life and therefore it's important to disclose to potential partners. I waited until a few dates in when we weren't yet exclusive but it seemed like it COULD go somewhere to tell my fiancé. I told him I need to tell him something important and sat him down and gave him a short run down. It basically amounted to, since this seems like it is …
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:34 PM
2

We met when I was 26 and he was 31. Got engaged this past April. I am now 28 and he is 33. We actually met online. I messaged him first. We don't get any backlash but I come from a traditional religious background so that's probably why.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:27 PM
1

Now that we are engaged we've been talking about what marriage means to both of us. I guess that's putting the cart before the horse, but engagement has forced me to take a hard look at myself and see what I can do better.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:25 PM
1

My fiance and I rarely fight, but at the beginning of the relationship we had a big fight that I hope will be our last big fight. Before I met my fiance I had a horribly abusive boyfriend who did a number on me. When he and I broke up I got counseling to deal with the fact that he was an alcoholic but that was kind of it. When fiance and I started dating I had a lot of trust and other issues stemming from the abuse. I couldn't see that though and it took him finally getting mad at me and yelling…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:21 PM
2

This and timing what things need the oven when are my big ones. I have to write out a baking schedule in advance with time and temperatures.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:14 PM
4

Fiance and I are hosting his family (and their pets) at our home for the first time ever. Six people, four dogs and one cat for five days. It's going to be really fun but I may need a vacation after lol
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/15 06:13 PM
10

You're going to drive yourself crazy trying to get him to do what you want. Honestly if he has used physical violence against you he's not a very good captain.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/15 12:59 PM
2

Your line about doing nothing really resonates with me. Sometimes I worry if I want to just sit that I should be doing something else. Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/15 12:40 AM
2

It's not really how hard I'm working as it is situational to this project. I am always working hard but factors beyond my control have made this project a doozy. Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately switching jobs right now is not really possible (and also not something I want to do since usually I love my job).
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/15 01:56 PM
2

I am a certified over-thinker. What has really helped me out is practicing mindfulness. I recommend downloading the app Stop, Breathe & Think. It's really helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 03:06 PM
1

Oh yeah! It honestly is my most prized possession (other than the engagement ring my fiancé picked out for me). It's like having her in the kitchen with me. I know that sounds cheesy but sometimes when I am really missing her it's comforting to have this little piece she really put her mark and personality on.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 03:03 PM
1

I love canning. Oddly enough my dad taught me to can (he learned from his grandmother).
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 12:24 PM
1

I learned to knit from my grandmother too. Knitting is a great way to relax.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 12:23 PM
2

My cherished kitchen items are a Foley mill my grandmother got for her bridal shower and passed on to me and her old Betty crocker cook book. The cook book is from the 60s and binder style, so when I got it, it was full of all sorts of notes and recipes she had put in by hand.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 12:22 PM
2

This is the style my fiance always picks too. He loves them in white.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/15 12:19 PM
6

maybe pair it with a little gin or vodka and a bit of lime You are speaking my language. lol
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/15 04:57 PM
5

Thanks for the tip on the magnesium and zinc! I'll have to try that. I haven't been sleeping well, so I think a few good nights of sleep could really help out. I feel like I always have a running list in my mind so it has been hard to relax and get in the mood. I don't want to disappoint my fiance. I know he knows how stretched thin I've been with work, but I want him to feel happy and satisfied rather than worried. :/
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/15 04:40 PM
2

Great point about the timing and drinking! Timing can be everything.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/15 03:43 AM
30

It's not wrong for you to ask someone to be considerate when coming home late at night, though I'd recommend speaking to him politely in person about it next time rather than through text. ETA: Face to face communication is always better.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/15 04:39 PM
3

It always makes my whole day when my fiance says thank you for something small. Thanks for sharing! Great read.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/15 05:40 PM
1

Omg yes. I love buffalo chicken dip. I usually make it to give away so I don't wind up eating the whole thing haha
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/15 04:25 PM
2

Hello fellow Southerner (I'm assuming)! Brats cooked in beer and grilled with a toppings bar are a big hit. I've also done chili with a toppings bar. For dessert I make apple pie or coke cola cake.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/15 11:29 AM
5

I guess I'll put away my popcorn now and get back to my day job. Sigh.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 08:23 PM
8

You clearly just want us to agree with you, and now you're resorting to low-brow insults to our respective partners which is completely uncalled for and against the sub rules. If you can't have a respectful discussion then you won't have one at all.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 04:18 PM
5

Boom. Beautifully put. ♀
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 04:00 PM
11

I've already given you the answers to both of those questions from my own personal viewpoint. You did not want them. I'm done answering you. Have a nice day. :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:45 PM
10

His whole point is that today marriage gives far more benefits to women than to men More financial benefits since he discounts anything else. He's just asking it on more fundamental level Not really. He's asking from a modern, financial view point. So he's asking exactly what you see as this sub's goal. Hmm no.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:32 PM
13

that's a very female-centered lens. Well, you're asking in a female-centered forum that gives advice to women on long-term relationships. You brought in your own perspective, thus I am offering mine. I wanted to know what you guys thought about that logic and how you felt about that circumstance. I told you what I felt about it. You seem to want to break everything down to finances only. That's certainly fine. I personally think there's more benefit from marriage for both parties than the financ…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:30 PM
14

It doesn't make sense from a biological stand point either. If that were the case, almost no masculine men would be left because they won't want to procreate...
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:23 PM
8

Men have sex fundamentally for the direct pleasure of it. It's true you can find men (on a spectrum) who intensely want kids, but it's not effective to rely on this kind of man. They tend to be more feminine, too; I don't think that kind of gradual selection would be positive for civilization, if the numbers were even there to sustain it. I think you're missing the point of RPW. We're here to give advice to women on how to attract a man who will take the lead in the relationship and be either a …
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:17 PM
3

When you are angry and emotional, take a break from the conversation. Take a deep breath. Take a walk. Make yourself a hot cup of tea. Chances are, in a few hours, or heck, even a few minutes, whatever you're emotional about will seem small.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 03:07 PM
10

I'm kind of new to RP in general so I guess read my response knowing that. I would say you're making a lot of sweeping generalizations that may not even be true. Children are on-net a gift to the wife, not the husband First off, I am going to disagree with this here. There are a lot of men out there who desire fatherhood for more than just the lineage. There are men who want to be a father and get great happiness and satisfaction out of it. Monogamy is on-net a gift to the wife, not the husband …
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 02:49 PM
10

Just so I understand the basic gist of your post, are you asking us what a man gets out of marriage and why it's worth it?
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 02:28 PM
1

Great advice! No need to keep up the niceties at this point. Just don't engage her, op! Not worth it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/15 12:09 AM
6

As far as cooking goes, what about crock pot or one pot suppers? That might help with the dinner thing. Otherwise can you designate an evening or two a week to take care of the house? That way you can fully focus on him the other nights and maybe still get stuff done.
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/15 08:16 PM
3

I'm going to have to disagree with some of this. Sometimes therapy and treatment are the answer. Being a better wife may support a husband through a mental illness but it won't cute it. Though if you're diagnosing someone with no medical background that's an issue...
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/15 03:00 AM
1

Good luck to you and your husband on his job hunt! I hope the right opportunity comes along soon!
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/15 05:09 PM
2

Thank you!! I will give him many high fives. Tonight I'm making him a fancy dinner and surprising him with a bottle of champagne.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/15 06:03 PM
1

Thank you! And thank you for all of your great no-nonsense advice. Keep being awesome.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/15 05:24 PM
1

Well done, lady friend. One of my favourite wisdoms is "it's never me vs you, it's always us vs the problem". That really help me keeps my emotions in check and ask myself if I'm attacking the situation, or my SO. Wow this is great to keep in mind. Thank you! The hardest part for me was not just providing him with unsolicited advice. He already feels like he's getting pressure on all sides between job hunting, learning new things and his current toxic job. He didn't need it from me as well! This…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/15 04:58 PM
3

Raised catholic though I have not practiced since college.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/15 05:37 AM
2

Aww this is awesome! Congratulations to you both
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/15 07:13 PM
2

I deleted it due to some harassing PMs. It was just easier. The basic gist of the post was that I was raised in a really traditional household where cohabitation before marriage is completely frowned upon. I was worried about bucking tradition and my parents. Ultimately after talking to the ladies here I realized that following my man was the best option. He had gone above and beyond to make me comfortable at his house, and as you quoted, there would be nothing to worry about because I trust him…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/15 09:36 PM
2

Thank you! He's a fantastic man. :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/15 09:31 PM
1

Let it all roll off of you like water from a duck's feathers. She'll be the one who looks bad if you don't take any of her bait. Just excuse yourself from the situation and go sit at another table, for example.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/15 09:28 PM
12

Be polite and cordial. That's it. You don't have to go overboard to be friendly. Edit: typos
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/15 02:15 AM
2

Thanks for the input! Can you give me a little insight into your advice? I'd love to hear your thinking if you're willing to share.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/15 12:21 AM
1

Hehehehe did I pass? ;)
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 03:09 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 10:53 PM
1

Yeah I am not planning on going into the conversation with any pre-judgements about his behavior.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 09:09 PM
2

Thanks for your perspective. This is definitely why I came here. I know the people around here are no-bs even though sometimes it's difficult to hear the advice.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:57 PM
2

Mostly it's time. He's a solid man I can trust. He's absolutely fantastic. I just feel like six months is so...short.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:57 PM
1

Yes absolutely. Thanks for pointing that out. I knew I came here for a reason...I needed some help sorting through things and I'm glad I did. I was really able to get to the bottom of it.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:46 PM
2

My mistake. The tone of your post seemed that way. My apologies. My parents really do like my SO, but at the six month mark of our relationship I think it's far too early for us to move in together for me personally.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:39 PM
1

Yeah...my own feelings. Not my parents. I would never talk about them like that.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:37 PM
1

Then this is what your post should be talking about. I have reached that conclusion through talking to people here and reading through the comments. I wasn't sure when I first posted. I was trying to lay out the things that were sticking points for me...certainly not excuses. Yeah and like I said...I reached the conclusion after posting that six months is too fast for me. So I'm going to talk to him tonight and say, hey this is too soon. Why don't we wait a little longer? And see what he says.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:28 PM
4

this is a big decision not JUST for you, but also for him and I just don't view how you come off as if you're thinking about his wants and needs. Yes it sure is for him as well. His WANT is for me to move in eventually. His possible NEED down the road is for my health insurance so he could start his own business without having to worry about that. You stated that he would like to sell that house and buy one in the future with you Much further down the road. He has no intention of selling in the …
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 07:24 PM
2

He doesn't need or have to. He may want to but he certainly doesn't have to.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:34 PM
1

We have only been dating for six months so yes, it's a big decision. I'm not trying to marry him right now or even in the next year. And moving in together is a big decision just as marriage is a big decision.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:31 PM
2

It always continues :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:29 PM
5

Because they are traditional people and want what is best for me. That's what they think would lead to stability and happiness. They think of cohabitation as being a set back in a relationship (Why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free?).
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:16 PM
2

It's definitely a shift in thinking, and not necessarily an easy one to get in the habit of if you're used to judging externally like that. You put it very succinctly here, though, and one that builds a really good framework for being a great girlfriend (or wife or fiancee or what have you).
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:14 PM
2

We have only been dating for six months at this point. It's a huge decision that I'd rather not make lightly.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:09 PM
2

I think that's great advice. I think our relationship is really solid, but having dated only six months I really feel like we are still getting to know one another. I think taking a little extra time before moving in together might be beneficial, but I will definitely have to think about it. Thanks for giving me something to think about.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:09 PM
2

He told me to take time to think about it since it's a big decision. Not to downplay the fact that it was a big decision for him to ask me. That is certainly huge, but he knows we have only been dating for half a year. He has lived with an SO before, and that person cheated on him. :/ I don't know what I'd prefer honestly. I clearly need to do some soul searching on that matter. I was really hoping to get some good insight here on it (and I have!). I'm not looking to get engaged soon since our r…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:06 PM
1

Yeah. We wouldn't be able to move in together until June when my lease is up which would be one year of dating for us. I know we both want marriage to one another in the future, but that is very early to get engaged (for me, personally, and I think for him too).
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 06:00 PM
1

if you have no intention of living there. I never said I don't have an intention of living there. He just asked me and it's a major life decision to me. Maybe it's not a big deal to other people, but it is to me. I like to think major life decisions through before making them and consider all possibilities. I never said "No" to him. He said, "Would you like to move in with me, etc etc, please take your time to think about it." Yeah that's definitely something important to consider (about the fam…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:58 PM
2

I'm not against living with him. I think what I've realized is that it's just too soon in our relationship for me. I know at the time we would move in together it would be a year, but at this moment it's six months and that seems too soon.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:53 PM
2

Yeah after posting here I have realized that I am on the fence about it. I will talk to him and ask to wait another year before we move in together.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:52 PM
3

Yes! Thank you for putting into words what I have been thinking all along. I think after posting this here and reading a lot of the comments, I have realized that I am not ready to take that step yet. I will talk to him about it tonight and go from there.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:48 PM
1

Thank you so much for your long and insightful answer. This has helped me think about things so much. You are absolutely right in what you're saying about his commitment being there. I think what I have to do is ruminate on whether or not I am personally ready to move in together (which I am on the fence about obviously since I posted here for advice) and go from there. It might be worth it to wait another year since at this point we have not been dating for very long and reassess the situation.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:48 PM
1

No it's not the only reason. Not at all. My boyfriend and I have similar goals, financially and otherwise. We really care for one another and take care of each other. We share similar values in life. We feel like we've found the person we want to spend our life with in each other. Yes I love him and yes he leads. We have taken some get-aways together and had sex. I do appreciate your answer, but my parents aren't crazy, so please don't pass judgement on people you don't even know. They are fanta…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:45 PM
3

My parents wouldn't cut me out of their lives, but our relationship would certainly be impacted.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:42 PM
2

No this is not my first serious relationship. I dated a guy in college for three years, but ultimately we did not have the same values and he was terrible with his finances so we broke up. I stopped dating for about a year or two after that because I moved home to take care of my grandparents (one had dementia, one had cancer). Aftermy grandmother passed away, my parents and I put my grandfather into a home because his dementia had advanced beyond our ability to care for him. (It took a while be…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 05:03 PM
1

My gosh, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I have been robbed before, and it feels so personal and awful. I'm really sorry to hear that you went through that. Thanks so much for sharing your story with me. I really appreciate it. I think ultimately it seems like after talking through it here I'm not quite ready to take the step of moving in with my boyfriend yet and will talk to him about waiting a little longer. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 04:41 PM
2

Yes you're right. Thanks for the advice. :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 04:36 PM
1

We have discussed marriage as being in the future, but since we've only been together for six months it's too early to get engaged, in my opinion. I don't feel ready for that. I don't need leverage. I am very confused by how I'm giving off this sentiment. :/
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 04:36 PM
2

Hmm that's not my intention. I've never lived with someone before and we've only been dating for six months at this point. His house is in a completely different location in my city which would completely change my life. Not to mention the effect on the relationship with my parents. While I am thrilled he asked me, there is a lot for me to consider. I like to think things through before I make major life decisions. It's just who I am.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 04:06 PM
1

He is a really fantastic guy! I am really so lucky to have found him. How long had you been dating before you moved in together? For us it would only be a year, so I'm not sure that we'd be ready for marriage yet at that point. It seems early for me. Thanks for your response!
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 04:03 PM
1

I know they would not be okay with us moving in together. They love my boyfriend and are thrilled for me, but cohabitation is really against their personal values. They are very reasonable people and there's few issues that they are so black and white about, and while I know they won't do something drastic like disown me, I also know it will hurt and disappoint them. :/ There's a few practical reasons I would like to get married. For one, my health insurance is much better than his and I can't p…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 04:01 PM
3

Yes that's a good point. Maybe the fact that I'm having hesitations is enough for me to say to my boyfriend, "Hey we've only been dating for a year. Let's push this back for a year because I don't feel ready yet and don't want to rush it."
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 03:57 PM
3

My parents rarely get involved in my life or life decisions, but I know for a fact this would disappoint and upset them. They have supported me through an incredible amount of major life decisions and said they'd only give advice if I asked for it. I realize that I'm 27 years old, but this would disrespect my parents in a big way and would put a strain on our relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/15 03:56 PM
1

Oh my! That sounds so beautiful! Sumi-e is so lovely!
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/14 05:04 AM
1

My mom got my dad a dehydrator one year for venison jerky and he uses it all the time! That's a great present :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/14 04:55 AM
1

What kinds of things does he like?
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/14 04:54 AM
1

Wow congratulations!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/14 04:53 AM
1

Making a backpack? That's so neat!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/14 04:53 AM
1

Oh wow. I love this idea!! So neat!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/14 04:52 AM
2

Absolutely! :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/14 09:20 PM
1

Haha totally understandable. If you're cool with sharing the pattern, would you be okay pm-ing it to me? :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/14 06:16 PM
1

For this one I'm doing acrylic because I wanted it to be on an oval canvas, but usually I work with gouache and watercolor. I'm going to try and find a fancy oval frame this weekend for it :) I saw on your comment you're painting something too! What are you using and what are you painting?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/14 02:20 PM
2

I love to knit! Can we see a picture of the scarf? What kind of yarn?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/14 02:18 PM
2

My boyfriend says I'm funny in a clever way, and I think that's how women are funny over all. Women seem to be better at writing comedy which is a clever kind of funny. Maybe they're more tongue in cheek?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/14 01:24 PM
5

I'm painting a picture of his dog wearing a top hat to go in a room that he's redoing. I also got him a nice 22 oz bottle of beer and knit a pair of soled slippers.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/14 01:20 PM
1

Yes! There's some awesome budgeting tools online too. Mint.com is the one I use. I love it!
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/14 06:40 PM
1

Someone else already said this but budget! Budget! Budget! Budget right on down to the cent. Track all of the money you're spending for a month. Seriously, you will be astounded at what your spending actually looks like compared to what you think it looks like. Now that you've seen your spending think about where you can cut some corners. Grocery bill? Buy some generic items and only splurge on a few items. Eating out? Cut it back to once or twice a month at most. Or even better, create a monthl…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/14 03:08 PM
2

Yes! You're in the fortunate spot to have TWO test subjects for any recipes you want to try out. Take advantage of that, OP :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/14 02:58 PM
1

Hi there! Tall women are beautiful and elegant if they dress well and carry themselves with confidence and grace. Don't hide what you are...enhance and embrace it! Don't crouch. Have nice posture. Know how to dress for your height.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/14 02:57 PM
7

I am going to be harsh, but I really do mean well. You are fortunate to learn this lesson young. You can never convince someone to commit to you and you frankly shouldn't have to. First things first, what are you bringing to the table to be worthy of commitment? If you work hard at being the best partner you can be, then take your love and energies elsewhere. This guy doesn't sound like commitment material, and there's men out there who would appreciate you.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/14 04:49 AM
2

Good luck! Stay strong in no contact by keeping your eyes on the ultimate prize of moving forward and getting over him. Talking to him now may feel good in the short term but it'll make things worse in the long run.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 09:53 PM
6

Personally, I would not answer.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 09:35 PM
6

Stop talking to him. Lose his number and go no contact. Ask one of your more loyal girl friends to keep you accountable.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 09:24 PM
1

I mean it's normal to feel that way in the beginning of getting over someone. The important thing is that you don't let yourself dwell too much and focus on moving forward. Getting over someone takes time. Make sure you give it to yourself. Work hard to process the feelings you have and why you have them. Evaluate yourself and the relationship, work through those feelings and work hard on keeping busy and productive. You'll find that suddenly one day you wake up and you're over it. And you're a …
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 09:23 PM
1

Yes for the clean sheets. I like to change my boyfriend's sheets for him when I come over to watch football with him on Sundays. Who doesn't want to start the week off in a fresh bed? You are awesome..what a lucky guy :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 06:40 PM
6

Some of the more experienced ladies here could speak to the plate aspect. As for getting over him? This advice is simple and straightforward, but it worked for me when I was getting over the end of a four year long relationship. Keep yourself busy. Don't spend all of your time checking your phone. Work hard at getting in shape and eating well. Focus on a productive hobby to improve yourself. (Not good at cooking? Take a class! Interested in learning to be a good hostess? Read some books, throw s…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 06:36 PM
5

Hi! I am new here, but have been lurking a while. I'm just starting to comment more and come out of my shell. :P For reference, I am 27. My boyfriend is 32. We have been together six months. I was raised in a pretty traditional household. I never questioned the fact that my dad worked long hours and was the primary bread-winner and that my mom worked full time (her hours were shorter than Dad's though!) yet always had a beautiful, bright home and a healthy dinner on the table at 6:30 sharp every…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 06:28 PM
1

:D I edited my original comment to include more ideas!
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 06:00 PM
1

I edited my comment with a few others!
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/14 06:00 PM
1

:D
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/14 03:44 PM
7

Thank you! I have lots of them from that relationship. I don't know if anyone would be interested in hearing more, but if so I can post some :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/14 03:44 PM
8

Love this! I used to make monthly dates in a box and mail them to my LTR SO. I realize this isn't feasible for everyone, but we always had a blast doing it. An easy date in a box is a DVD, handmade movie ticket (cheesy I know, but he loved it), candy, microwave popcorn and a hand written note. Set up a time to watch the movie together! (We did over Skype) Edit: Okay! I'm going to share a few more date in a box ideas. I would love to hear some that other people have too!! :) 1.) Dinner Date: I se…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/14 01:30 PM
1

My libido is much higher than my boyfriend's but he seems to have implemented a never say no policy so it's all good :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/14 12:48 PM
1

I think the biggest thing I push in a lot of advice-giving situations is respect. I don't think a lot of people realize how far reaching that really is. Respect for your boyfriend. Respect for taking care of yourself and your looks. Respect for keeping your space clean. Respect for your body learning healthy recipes to fuel it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/14 03:56 AM
1

Is it possible to cook at his place as an alternative? My boyfriend loves when I do that and I always leave his kitchen looking even cleaner than when I found it :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/14 08:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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