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living_well Archive

View 6 posts and 61 comments by living_well on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

He suggested you go on additional dates with him instead. Yellow flag in my opinion. Though, I'm not good at spotting red flags according to my history. So... there's that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/19 08:11 PM
1

Thank you. My relationship goals are to find a secure & considerate partner whom I feel attraction to and who will (at least sometimes) take the lead. In my past I was uneducated about abuse and mental illness. I didn't have the tools to recognize them... partially because I grew up in a household and extended family where that was normalized and common. ​ After some education on the subject, I find it hard to believe that my life should be void of a loving partnership due to the fact that I hav…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:26 PM
1

He has had a torch for me for years. ​ We just went on a trip together and honestly, he just aggravates me thoroughly! He seems insecure and needs to be "right" or "in the know" on things. It's like he is always trying to impress me and talks excessively. We started the trip off without much sleep (both of us) and he acted like a total CHILD. Whining, being impatient, complaining, generally in a shitty mood, etc. I confronted him about his attitude and met some resistance at first, but eventuall…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 05:41 AM
1

One of my close friends vetted her boyfriend, he checked all the boxes, they lived together successfully for years, married, bought a house, planned their first child and then he started cheating on her with a co-worker when going on "business trips." She found out because her dad ran into them. ​ She is now a single mother because he came back with a "non-disclosure" contract and some BS paperwork from a lawyer saying he should only pay $200/mo. in child support even though he makes more than $…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 05:35 AM
1

I have 4 other men who are currently pursuing a relationship with me (and all are aware of the fact that I intend to date openly and honestly) and consistently communicating with me. I am not sleeping with any of them... I have options. For me, it's like some people line up to be great dads and caregivers, but not necessarily a great partner. Or the opposite.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 05:26 AM
1

Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood Interesting. I will look into that book. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/19 08:13 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 11:58 AM
1

Care to explain :) ?
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 03:43 AM
3

I was living abroad & 2 weeks away from getting my permanent residency status. Getting married wasn't really an option at the time because it would have made things very complicated and made us look suspicious. We owned a business together, bought land and were starting to build a house/community together. Our intention was to get married and we discussed having children, both agreeing it is what we wanted in the next few years. I am trying to say that things aren't always black and white. There…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 01:23 AM
1

He made a promise to be with me for life. When I became pregnant he denied the baby being his, screamed at me for days and then left the house, turning his phone off. Would it have been more acceptable for me to get an abortion than have this child? Also, just recently something similar happened to my close friend. Her husband an affair with another woman, planning to leave his wife and eventually did so. Leaving her with their 3 year old. He later tried to have her sign non-disclosure paperwork…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 01:43 PM
1

Ah yes. I agree.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 03:30 AM
2

Thank you. That is really great advice. I will.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 02:48 AM
4

:)
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 02:47 AM
1

I am. He's in a place of transition, but says that he wants to explore this option with me without any expectations. He hasn't really lead at all. I have. He is quite vague in his statements overall, and has communicated it is because he didn't want me to feel pressured. But it creates a situation where I don't really know how to behave either. Am I allowed to be a sexual being around him? Can I be flirty? Is he even interested? Is it appropriate? Are we just friends? I generally have to initiat…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 01:28 AM
2

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I certainly do find myself attracted to him, but when we come together I don't necessarily feel sexual chemistry. We may just be friends and that is the extent of it. I second-guess my own ability to choose a good partner. I have had decent relationships in the past, but the past 3 have a pattern. Men that are controlling, habitual liars, abusers and narcissists. It's a deep-seeded family dynamic and theoretically, I fear I may not be attracted to men who …
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 01:25 AM
2

I'm not super new to it... I was burned by it and took a "break." The last man I was with was a huge Red Pill advocate and considered himself well-versed in female psychology, he also read a lot about RSD. He really utilized the "rules" to exert control and manipulate me. Now I don't necessarily feel I can trust my judgement.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 12:37 AM
1

Not sure I understand... Care to explain?
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 12:25 AM
15

That is a good question. I would say he is VERY BP. He apologizes a lot unnecessarily (to appease me?), seems like he worships women and I am concerned he is more in love with some fantasy/idea of me and not necessarily acknowledging reality. I will have to think about this one.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 12:24 AM
2

Not sure what you mean by that reply, but yes. This is real. My last relationship with the father of my child was a whirlwind of craziness after my pregnancy. I care about my friend greatly, I am a bit hesitant to "vet" someone who I love as a friend for fear of losing them in that regard. Also, I really want a moral check... I don't feel it would be fair to "settle" for someone (on either side) if there is a lack of sexual attraction or compatibility. I am attracted to his caring nature and fin…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/19 12:21 AM
5

My partnership with the father of my child was intended to be life-long. We had discussed having children and agreed that we both wanted to start a family. As soon as I became pregnant he exited the situation and decided he did not want to be a part of our lives. I understand my "value" is decreased in regard to my being a single mother. However, I cannot imagine being in a lifelong married with someone that I am sexually incompatible with. Maybe that is relatively normal and I am just unaware?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 11:28 PM
3

Love this.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 04:51 AM
1

I was asking how to confront him and speak to him about it without sounding accusatory... I already knew these were signs of cheating.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/19 10:23 PM
1

I asked in this because I wanted a male perspective. I was only getting feedback from women before... and since I happen to be a woman I thought that may be a wee-bit biased.
/r/askTRP07/01/19 03:43 AM
0

Lets be clear. I would NEVER do that to my kid. I told him he was unreasonable for suggesting it and that I would never do that to a child because it could potentially be scarring and is abusive. His response was that I am an abusive mother for choosing NOT to do it & I'm setting a horrible example for her because I have been grumpy and short-tempered with her while sick, providing her with a bad example of behavior. Oh and... "I'm glad you will never be the mother of MY child."
/r/askTRP06/01/19 08:40 PM
1

I am asking here because he describes himself as a RPM and says that the reason I cannot handle a lot of truths he provides are because I pretend to have swallowed the red pill but I'm actually "blue pill." So, I wanted to get a male perspective in the RP community.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 03:15 PM
1

I feel WebComp wasn't trying to say I should stay. It's more complicated than that. Like I said in my comment/response. The shelters are not always open for new people. Sometimes you can't "just leave" as badly as you may want to. My landlord already offered to have the police come and escort him out... what good would that do? It would escalate things unnecessarily. ​ He hasn't threatened us, he hasn't done anything to imply that he would... he's relatively peaceful when he's not raging out and…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 08:27 AM
2

Thank you. I appreciate the support. I just want to say this to anyone feeling like I am not listening to the "advice" given here... I am listening. ​ I have to figure out how to navigate this safely and be aware of any way I may be contributing to causing more conflict. I can't just get up and leave without seriously disrupting my child's life and putting us in a very (unnecessarily) stressful situation... I also do not have the option to simply leave, as all of our stuff is at the house we sha…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 08:21 AM
1

Thank you. I appreciate the support. I only posted my first post about this situation recently. I am simply trying to get some advice on how to navigate this safely and be aware of any way I may be contributing to causing more conflict. I can't just get up and leave without seriously disrupting my child's life and putting us in a very stressful situation... possibly having to give up most of what I have worked to provide for my child. I understand that "things" are not more important than our we…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 08:00 AM
1

I deleted the post because you seemed annoyed by it being there and you're right. Why am I even concerned if he thinks I am a good parent or not? I know that refusing to lock a 2 year old in her room all day, alone is not a good or safe parenting method.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 06:50 AM
1

Yeah... I suppose at this point I shouldn't give a fuck if he's cheating or not. I just want to know. And I want to know if I am crazy and making things up in my head.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 06:47 AM
-1

I am sorry to have annoyed you with my flurry of posts. I am just kind of in freak out mode & need some reassurance. My family lives out of state, so I can't really reach out for immediate help from them.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 06:41 AM
0

I have had my dog for 14 years. I will try to find someone to take her temporarily, I do not want to take the dog away from my daughter either. They are best buds. The cat, however, we recently adopted and could be sent back to the shelter.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 06:40 AM
2

Yeah, and I started reaching out about making a move... but I don't have a lot of options right now. There's no space in the local shelter, I have to TELL HIM he has 30 days to leave while also figuring out how I am going to a. pay for the space with my very limited income (impossible) b. find another place to live and move out while he is still in the space (sketchy) c. Live with him for 30 days after telling him he needs to go I have been offered a free place to stay for some time, problem is …
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 06:33 AM
1

I said the same thing. That there are studies and books I have read on parenting that say that would be detrimental to a child. He told me none of those people have any idea what they are talking about and I can't "prove anything," so I am a bad person for insisting that I am right & trying to make him wrong.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 06:24 AM
1

Actually, he is not tall... though I wouldn't notice. I'm 5'1", so everyone looks tall to me. He has told me about how there is a "range of experiences in life I will never have access to because of my height." ​ He was also very cordial and we didn't make sex a priority so we could have clarity while getting to know each other better. He was very sweet and loving, expressing that he would take a more dominant/traditional male role while also trying to make our relationship as equal as possible.…
/r/askTRP06/01/19 06:17 AM
3

My boyfriend is a RPM and studies RP. I am not 100% there, but am working on incorporating more RP into my awareness/life. Anyway, I just want some feedback from a similar perspective. Not women, basically.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 06:01 AM
3

I tried the same post there but it was removed for some reason...
/r/askTRP06/01/19 05:59 AM
1

Thank you SO MUCH for your response. You have no idea how much I appreciate you being direct. I actually said that he was gaslighting me and he told me that is something you have to consciously do. A few days ago he ripped into me for leaving her unsupervised for 5 minutes. When I got out of the bathroom she had put a chair up to the front door trying to go out and "walk the dog." She can't even open the door herself.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 05:58 AM
3

I thought that women were allowed to ask men questions on here, sorry.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 05:51 AM
4

Sorry, I just want a male perspective to see if I am just not seeing this clearly.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 05:51 AM
1

Thank you for your honest feedback. Things keep piling up. I am trying to address issues with this guy to understand if there is any hope for coming to a reasonable resolution or at least keeping peace while we are still living together... I am honestly feeling crazy, like I don't know what is wrong or right anymore. Part of me can hear truth in what he says in regard to my behavior/communication needing to improve and then all of the sudden he's saying I am a bad mother because I will not lock …
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 05:48 AM
5

Thank you. I just didn't know where else to go because I am only able to post and get answers from women. I want an answer from a man.
/r/askTRP06/01/19 05:43 AM
1

Thank you for your honesty. Leaving immediately is not an option... though I am looking into how that needs to happen. In the meantime, if he's doing this on the side I believe I have the right to know. Just as I would do the same for him.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 11:10 PM
2

I did not initiate the "break." He said that he wanted to cut sex out of the equation, focus on other things but stay together and not see other people. Maybe trying to cultivate our sexual relationship later. (We have both been dealing with some health issues & I have been dealing with some that are relatively incapacitating considering that I am also caring for a 2 year old) I can't really "go back to him" since we are still living together and behaving as a couple. The only other option is to…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/19 11:06 PM
2

None of it has been verified. As a matter of fact, she still tries to contact him and it has been YEARS. They were "friends" for some time even after the restraining order apparently. Although he "doesn't keep track of time" so he can never confirm whether or not that is true or remember the last time they saw each other. (Which I have verified is roughly over a year ago after her new BF broke her face, so she started contacting my BF to "make it all better") Since we have been together she cont…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/19 03:03 AM
2

And whining about her wearing shorts and completely losing frame is like RP rule number one or something! I dress modestly for my man whether he's with me or not because I don't want him to think of me as low value and I want to be only for him. He's never ever had to ask or mention my clothes, never mind lose his s### over it! This whole episode was after he had told me that he is "offended by a lot of my clothing" and that I could try to be a little sexier. Mind you, I am a single mother of a …
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 09:03 PM
1

Love it.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 08:55 PM
1

YESSSSSSS! I said the same thing. The problem was that he didn't fault the guy AT ALL. He faulted me for the whole situation, including inviting him to live with us in the first place (which he agreed on). Ugh.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 08:53 PM
4

Amazing response. Thank you so much. I just reached out and started arrangements for a place for us to stay for the next 30 days so I can give him the proper "legal notice" (even though he is not on the lease) to find a place to live.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 08:37 PM
1

We have been living alone since booting the male roommate. It certainly did not provide a good start for the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 05:34 PM
1

Your response is very thoughtful and very much appreciated. It is a little bit my fault. I know that there are ways (especially regarding the situation with the male roommate) that I could have been more thoughtful. Had the same situation transpired with a woman living here I would not have handled it well. The eye roll I am giving is because ultimately, we agreed to having him stay with us for a month to make finances easier. Then I get blamed for having him move in even though it was a mutuall…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 05:31 PM
1

Well said.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 02:47 PM
3

I have been going to counseling/therapy for 2 years now. One of them is a domestic violence support group! I knew most of the signs... and even confronted him about multiple occasions where his behavior was in line with being abusive. His response was that he would love to do thing the opposite way of everyone "out there" in the world because the way people treat each other is so fucked up. He said that I have developed such a "system" of detecting if someone is "this or that" that I couldn't al…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 02:35 PM
2

Maybe I should just print these post comments out, hand them to him and walk out the door! (somewhat joking) But honestly, whatever I say in regard to reasons for his behavior being unacceptable he manages to argue against it, invalidate or twist my words around into having a different meaning. He just asked me last night, "Give me some examples of when I have done something that hasn't been for the benefit of everyone in this family?" ​ Which, for me is a strange question, because it's all abou…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 02:29 PM
3

THANK YOU. That is what I have brought up on multiple occasions. He says that I am wounded... and yes, I have some wounds. However, I believe he is wounded, had 7 years of being physically abused by a woman he chose to keep staying with and help raise her kids until she tried to kill him and he left, taking out a restraining order against him. I do feel like he is punishing me (all women) due to his traumatizing experience and assumes AWALT. Even though I have not displayed any behavior to indic…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 02:24 PM
0

2/3 or the time, yes. 1/3 of the time, no. His behavior most of the time displays the exact opposite of his words. We have intelligent discussions all the time where he listens to me, respects my opinions about politics, happenings in the world, family dynamics, health, community, etc. etc. Maybe that is because we see eye-to-eye on most of that stuff? This attitude only presents itself when I make a mistake. He comes down on me hard about things. Like: I drove the car to pick up an alternator o…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 02:21 PM
2

Thank you for your honest feedback and thank you for not making it feel judgemental. He has said that my behavior "made him" treat me the way he did (raging out at me) and if I stopped behaving in ways that warranted that response then he wouldn't have to do it. ​ Did I mention his ex came after his car with a bunch of bricks and then tried to bash his head open? I feel like after years of ill treatment and manipulation anyone could be driven to violence. I hadn't looked at it from that perspect…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 03:28 AM
6

I do feel like I have been manipulated. Then... when my health had started to return and I started functioning like a "normal" human being again I started to see things far more clearly. That is why I made this post... to see if that clarity was real or not. At this point things have been so confusing I haven't known what I have or have not done wrong. I have been struggling with some pretty intense health issues that have made it so that I haven't been able to work much, making me more dependen…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 03:21 AM
2

First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors has been on my reading list. I'll put it at the top. The thing is, 90% of the time he is caring, supportive, respectful and loving. Then that 10% comes out and I honestly don't know how to handle it. The roommate thing was thoughtless. I agree. I admitted fault THAT DAY and immediately apologized. Didn't seem to matter though. It's still... to this day. ALL my fault. He said the only way I could have communicated no interest was to not speak to the guy. Ne…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 03:18 AM
3

Absolutely not. We just spoke about a lot of this and I keep telling him that he is kidding himself if he believes he is not "living in sin" by moving in with a girlfriend and having sex with her before marriage. That he's in complete denial and that it is totally unreasonable to expect me to believe that he has never contributed to an ounce of misunderstanding or conflict that has arose in our relationship. Again, it was immediately turned back on me and I was told that I needed to "show him a …
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 03:15 AM
7

Thank you SO MUCH for your thoughtful reply. It is truly reassuring. I felt like I was losing my mind and starting to seriously doubt myself. I felt that some of these things may have hastily been said out of anger, however... we revisited some of the issues and He has outright denied saying things that I 100% know he has said to me Makes the statement again and defends it. Seriously. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/19 03:11 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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