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llem20 Archive

View 2 posts and 67 comments by llem20 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

ADVICEllem20/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 04:03 PM
2

llem20/r/RedPillWomen28/09/15 07:27 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I don't think you'll know which details to cover until something comes up!
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/18 07:21 PM
8

I think you're in the wrong sub to be asking about this. Personally, I think that the MOST important thing to remember is communication. You both need to be as open and honest as possible with each other. If either of you hide anything, or expect there either to pick up on any subtleties or hidden meanings, then this will not work. But if you trust each other implicitly, and you're both open and communicate well, turn I think this is an awesome idea and I hope you have fun!!
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/18 07:09 PM
6

I like it when my husband let's me know he's coming home early. It means that I can make sure that those few loose ends are tied up (my coffee mug put into the kitchen sink, dogs have been out to pee, baby is clean and dry, etc...). That way he doesn't have to worry about these things when he gets in, and I can just be able to welcome him home and we can have an hour or so before he takes the baby and I start on dinner. If the baby is amenable, sometimes​ I like to have started on dinner by the …
/r/RedPillWives07/06/17 04:08 PM
10

I don't feel the need to morally get married, I would quite happy cohabitate indefinitely as would my husband. We married for legal reasons, I am English and my husband is American so if we wanted to be together then the easiest thing to do was marry. We had already discussed the fact that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives, we simply signed a piece of paper to tell the government that! It also means that if something happens to either one of us, there is no issue as to next of k…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/16 04:46 PM
3

Yeah, which is something that I simply do not understand. I consider myself somewhat feminist and yet I expect all of these points to go both ways. How can you expect to have limitation and expectations for men when you can't listen to similar things from the other way round?
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/16 06:49 PM
1

I'm not trying to play Devil's Advocate or anything here, I do try to follow RPW guidelines as much as I can and I have read (and mostly agreed with) 'The Surrendered Wife'. However, I feel as though all of these points are applicable to both sexes, not just women. I expect my husband to respect me, love me, and listen to me as much as I do for him. 1 - as I said, I expect my husband to respect me and my opinions as well I respect him. Now, if we are discussing something that needs doing in the …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/16 05:08 PM
2

I agree. I also find that a lot of people expect changes and improvements straight away. It takes time, like months. Unfortunately there also had to be a time, if these changes aren't working and the man is simply not good enough to be a captain, there has to be a time when the woman has to leave to situation. A ship only works if the captain and first mate work together.
/r/RedPillWives11/10/16 07:02 PM
3

Read up some more on red pill. Read "The Surrendered Wife", and get her to read it too. Then talk to her about how the dynamic should be, about how submitting to you SO is NOT just about doing the house work, it's about the dynamic of the relationship. It's about being a first mate to a good captain. Being taken advantage of is not being a good wife. Running the household and the finances and paying the bills and whatever else she does is not what red pill is about. Once you read the book you sh…
/r/RedPillWives10/10/16 08:05 PM
16

I would probably say that a church and other religious settings are the best place to find someone like that! If not, dating sites that cater to Christians in particular would be your next bet. I would say that generally speaking most highly religious men are also traditionalists, so you should find what you're looking for. :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/16 08:14 AM
2

Just talk to him honestly and calmly. Tell him your fears and concerns. Let him know that you do trust him and respect him, you're just worried about being dragged into doing something that goes against his nature. All him to not get absolutely smashed on this night out, drink a few sure, but don't get black or drunk. If he has to trick his friends into thinking he's drinking more than he is, then so be it. Ultimately you have to trust him. You married this man for a reason, as you said he is a …
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/16 01:30 PM
11

He was in the same grad program as my house mate. I was picking her up from the lab one day and he was there. I made some sexual innuendo joke and he asked my friend for my number that evening. We've been married for 16 months and are expecting our first baby in December. :)
/r/RedPillWives25/08/16 12:34 AM
2

To me personally, it sounds like they are having a lot of problems and your SO's brother had just been totally fucked over, his heart was probably broken. When a family member's heart breaks, yours does a little bit too - especially if you are a mother. Your bf's mother is probably scared that you will hurt her other son, she loves him very much and doesn't want to see him hurt like his brother was. Which means she's attacking you. She is also going through a tough time in her own personal life,…
/r/RedPillWives05/08/16 02:07 PM
15

There is nothing wrong with out right telling your SO how you feel. Say it clearly with no hidden meaning. Don't ask him to change, don't ask him to do anything. Just simply tell him that you are not happy, that you're not as attracted to him as you once were because of.... If he's not being a good captain then it is up to his first mate to tell him. Make sure to tell him that you love him. If he is your captain, and he loves you he will want to make everything right again. He will want to be yo…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/16 01:02 AM
7

He's asking you to add the womanly touches that men don't think about. Pictures and mirrors on the walls, curtains, end tables with flowers on them. He's also asking you to add a part of yourself to his house, to make it yours together - so don't take his stuff away, just add yours! He's asked you to take care of him by managing his house, so keep him in mind with everything you do (don't change a colour of a room into a colour you know he doesn't like for example), but also remember that he wou…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/16 02:05 AM
2

I second /u/nspikeu suggestion, Laura Doyle's "The Surrendered wife" gave me loads of tips of how to encourage my husband (who is not red pill) to be the leader within our marriage. Some of it is very subtle, and it may take a while - but it is definitely working for me :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/16 04:49 PM
2

I have also read it and yes, it is still very good for you in a LTR. Just remember it's aimed at women who want to save a failing marriage rather than someone who is already redpill. Still a good reminder and has a lot of good pointers to remember for your relationship!
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/16 09:59 PM
4

I don't think op said that it was, just their upbringing was. This had nothing to do with the question.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/16 12:43 PM
2

I really appreciate the fact that you state it doesn't matter on the child's gender.
/r/RedPillWives29/04/16 07:14 PM
5

I'm not sure I can give you any proof.... but I can tell you my 2 cents on each of these issues - for science. RP women are vain 'pretty girls' who care too much for their looks and are actually mean and shallow on the inside... -Or they are too dumb to be in the workplace. -Or they are religious psychos being forced to be women by their cheating abusive husbands There are a lot of women out there who are just looking for a rich husband to take care of and build a family with. Stereo-typically t…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/16 05:19 PM
1

I would say that option 2 is the easiest option, not the best. You need to get out there a bit. Getting hobbies and joining clubs will enable you to work on yourself while getting to meet other like-minded people. But it will involve putting yourself out there and out of your comfort zone. Also, if you are going for the internet dating route don't use okcupid. Pay some money for a decent dating site.
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 02:43 AM
2

OK, so this conversation is a slightly moot point for, because this problem should never arise. As for trust? Trust no one. Ever. This is a really cynical look on life. I refuse to take my rose-tinted glasses off and see the world this way. I like to trust people, I like to see the good in people and give people the benefit of the doubt whenever I can. I trust my husband implicitly - with my money, my heart, my life. I am sorry for whatever your ex (or anyone else for that matter) has done to yo…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 07:26 PM
2

So if you are choosing to follow his lead, doesn't that imply a deep level of trust? Trust that he won't disappoint and that this marriage won't end in divorce? Also, does he realise that you think marriage is such a horrible idea? Because if he does, why would he ask you to marry him?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 06:24 PM
1

What paperwork condemns the man within a marriage, assuming that you don't get a divorce?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 01:52 PM
3

I don't understand, why would you need a pre-nup? Also, why would you accept to marry your SO if you think that marriage is a horrible idea?? Marriage laws favor whoever was the lowest earner. No, divorce laws favour the lowest earner. But why would you go into a marriage expecting divorce? what would be the point?
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/16 01:50 PM
5

This right here is exactly what I would love. I know that I am going to need my husband's strength at the birth and I know that I don't want to have to worry about voicing my thoughts. This sounds like a beautiful experience (perhaps not at the time, granted!) and you are very lucky :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/16 01:40 PM
4

IMO you need to get over yourself! There is no such thing as 'cool', and people have 'weird hobbies/interests'. So get over yourself and your preconceptions on how life should be. What are you afraid of? If being a gamer or into anime is an absolute no for you, then stay away from these kind of men - but don't look down on them! My husband is a gamer, he loves playing PS4 and he also enjoys the occasional table-top game. I'm not a gamer, I do however respect his hobbies as he respects mine. My h…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/16 08:04 PM
3

First off, congratulations! Nothing should change within your relationship. Your husband may start to treat you differently, be more protective and gentle with you as you are now carrying his child! Remember to be gracious in receiving his help/compassion/extra attentiveness - this is his time to shine as a provider and loving husband as well as it is your time to shine as maternal and loving wife. If you honestly feel as though you can't cope with something (keeping up with certain chores for e…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/16 01:45 PM
1

Thank you! That's a really nice thing to say :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/16 02:03 PM
1

I don't have a car - I don't really need one as my husband has one and he enjoys driving me anywhere I need to go. I am of course able to drive his car, I just don't unless I really need to. In saying that, the car is not that clean and tidy! He cleans it every 2-3 months. I have often thought about cleaning it as a nice surprise for him, and I know he would appreciate it - but I have just never gotten around to it! Hmmm.... it's now on my 'big jobs to-do list'!
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 06:23 PM
3

This is a well written article, thank you for sharing! :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 06:07 PM
2

Such an interesting article, and so true! This is why I am wary of doing the things that he said he would do, as he sees it as he failed. And of course I never want him to feel like this!
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 03:00 AM
1

Thank you, this makes complete sense. I realise that he's simply forgotten about these things, and therefore he will probably be grateful for me just taking care of them.
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 02:52 AM
1

The way you have phrased that is perfect - thank you! I would have happily taken these tasks onto my 'to-do-list', however when each problem first came about my husband said immediately that he will take care of it. Which is why, in my mind, I considered them done, because usually he will take care of something when he says he will.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:52 PM
4

I understand what you're saying, but my husband is not naturally RP and he is still finding his way around being the captain of the ship. So I am trying to be careful to not take charge of everything (which I will and can do very naturally) and encourage him as much as possible. But I guess baby steps and all that.... :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:49 PM
2

yeah you're right. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:45 PM
2

It's not just a kitchen drawer, there are about 4/5 things that have been on the 'list' for a few months. However, I do understand that they might simply not be a priority to him, and therefore wouldn't care if I just fixed them myself.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:44 PM
2

Yes, or course I can fix these issues, I just need to email maintenance or call the renting office. It's just that these tasks have been on 'his list' for a long time and he might feel like he failed if I do this. Then again, I guess it could just be that these things are not important to him and therefore he wouldn't care if sort them out....
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:42 PM
1

My husband is on his final year of grad school, and has started to seriously search for jobs - we have also just started to try for a baby. So yes, he has other things on his mind and clearly the kitchen drawer, and the other things, simply aren't on the forefront of his mind. With other household tasks that he says he will do, he does. It's just for some reason the kitchen drawer, the outside light and one of the oven burners are problems that he has not sorted yet. Yes, these tasks will have t…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:40 PM
2

no, not just because of their body-type. They had extra fat on them that is not natural with a healthy diet and exercise.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/16 10:49 PM
1

I would say that one or two of them were overweight - yes.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/16 10:40 PM
4

Yes I know, and I don't expect to see any feminist propaganda on here, of course not. I just don't always agree with bashing - as much as I don't agree with the RP bashing on /r/AskWomen . I would never start an argument on here about it. I would never say 'you're wrong' to anyone on this sub, as that is not what I come here for!
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/16 01:27 AM
3

Yes of course, no problem - it did get rather off topic from the OP!
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/16 01:22 AM
2

Honestly it's the feminist bashing that I see on this sub sometimes - I find that very hard to swallow. I also sometimes struggle with the 'it's always your fault' mentality when something goes wrong in the relationship - but I am still swallowing the pill and as I said, trying to understand and learn from the people in this sub :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/16 10:12 PM
1

I can definitely see this side of the argument! I also know that, due to the war effort of the women who kept the country running while the men were away, it pushed forward a lot more open-mindedness amongst the upper-classes. I only really meant my remark previously as passing statement - I never really wanted to get into a discussion about feminism on this sub!
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/16 10:06 PM
1

I really don't, and won't confuse the submitting and obeying with regards to RPW with what is used in BDSM - I promise you, I am under no impression that this is a BDSM forum! BDSM has nothing to do with polyamorous or open relationships. BDSM is a kink, which is behind closed doors and therefore only shared with your SO. The "communication, safewords, contracts and negotiation" are all only ever discussed with your SO, to ensure the trust that you build stays as is.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/16 10:02 PM
0

The women's suffrage movement started in 1869. Women, and a lot of men, were fighting for the right for an education before this. I didn't forget about women's colleges, but even these were very few between up until the early 20th century. And then they were only for the upper class and elite.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/16 04:28 PM
0

I don't think he really 'instructs' me on anything. Although, admittedly this may be semantics again. As I said in my previous reply, I can argue with myself about this point - I always defer to his decision and listen to what he says. I'm not really arguing against Kittenkajira 's original point about obeying. Yes, I completely believe that feminism has given me the right to get an education and earn a degree. Without the feminist movement originally, women would not be allowed to go to college…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/16 02:32 AM
1

I see your point about it not being blind obedience any more, as he has gained my trust as I have his. I guess I just don't like the word 'obey'... Maybe it's the feminist in me that can't except this word (as there is a feminist in me, if there wasn't I never would have pushed through and achieved a PhD), or maybe it's because the term 'obey' says someone is more important in the relationship. I also realise that part of submitting is stating that your husband is more important, without the cap…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/16 10:54 PM
1

I agree with you when you say there is nothing wrong with wanting your partner to be happy. Of course there isn't, that is the point of a relationship - what I am saying is that the point of submitting is NOT about forsaking your own happiness for someone else's, it's not about constantly being the martyr and doing everything for your husband just to keep him happy. We do things to make our partner's happy because we want to, their happiness gives us happiness. I guess what I am trying to say is…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/16 03:04 PM
4

"Before I became a submissive wife, I was selfish. I thought it was about me, but now I realize that it’s about him. If he’s happy, then I’m happy.” This right here is bullshit. That's not what submitting is about and she has taken it completely out of context. This woman is assuming that when you stop completely thinking about yourself and your own happiness then suddenly you are a weak slave to your man. Submitting to your husband is about seeing him as a man. It's about being part of a team, …
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/16 02:46 AM
2

Haha - really? I wonder if it's the 'using a machine' thing.... or just because it's a quick and easy job with quite obvious and instantaneous results? I will have to search for that thread now :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/16 03:39 AM
6

This is a very insightful post, thanks! I decided when I married my husband that I would try to follow rpw. Within that decision I decided that all of the household chores were therefore my responsibility. Turns out that my husband likes to do some of them, he likes to have things that are 'his job', like for example the vacuuming. So I just make sure that I really thank him every time he does one of the chores, tell him, for example, the carpet looks much better and I appreciate it. The fact th…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/16 11:31 PM
1

Not necessarily. If op can explain to her sister what she is doing, that by controlling get husband she is just pushing him away, then I think it would be a good idea. However if op thinks that whatever she says will just fall on dead ears, then yeah, there is not much she can do. Edit... on a tablet and auto correct is wrong...
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/16 04:02 AM
1

I have to disagree with you. Even if he is more dominant and/or alpha, she doesn't see that she is doing anything wrong and so they would still probably end up separating. The change had to come from her. She has to realise that she married this man for a reason and she is trying to change him into someone who she won't like.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/16 11:05 PM
6

The Surrendered Wife talks about times when we should, quite rightly, politely decline sex - feeling ill is one of those times. Explain to him what happened, that you are still shaken by your nightmare and don't think you could involve yourself enough in sexual activities for it to be enjoyable for either you. Follow this up by saying that if you would like to take a rain check for later that day. Promise him that you will do something special for him later, once you've had a chance to recover. …
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/16 05:23 AM
1

I'm sorry, how does modern values equal man hating?
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/16 05:10 AM
2

My new favourite thing is Just Dance on the WiiU. I was upset when I moved and couldn't find a decent zumba class in my new city (as I loved my old class!), but this is my new workout and it's so much fun! My husband has also said that he loves watching me do it, and he finds it quite sexy - so added bonus! :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 09:03 PM
18

Men have a tendency to act 'more manly' around other men, especially ones that they don't know very well. H has just had a baby and, as your sister stated, he is a good man and probably a good husband. Which leads me to believe that he is just blowing off steam. He has lost your sister's whole attention due to a new baby and probably just needs to 'feel like a man' for a little bit. For him this might included going out and flirting with another girl, just to feel wanted. As long as that is it, …
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/15 04:54 PM
1

OK, when faced with women like that I can understand your viewpoint. There are also a lot of men out there who do the same thing, rich kids who don't know what they want out of life and just go to university because that is what you're supposed to do. I have met a few guys who fall into that category as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/15 06:16 PM
1

So I have 3 degrees and I'm pretty sure I am not crazy. I have a husband whom I love dearly, and who loves me. We both work full time and I follow the RPW pretty closely. We have a happy marriage. So I guess I am your exception that proves the rule?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/15 04:37 PM
1

However it was a well known fact that the women in Victorian England, within the Ton for example, would take lovers. They wed 'the right man' because they were supposed to, and then slept with the people that actually wanted to. I don't think the antiquated views of the controlled wife were in fact better than today's society.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/15 04:31 PM
1

You're not supposed to be submissive, you're not supposed to be a doormat. If you read Laura Doyle's book, she tells you that you're supposed to ask directly for what you want. (you don't tell him how to do it, or when you want it, just that you want an end result). So by letting your Captain know that you want a new dress, if gives him a chance to buy a new dress for you, to spoil you as most Men want to.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/15 03:56 PM
1

I am curious, why does feminism mean that I am entitled? Feminism is about equality - giving women the same rights and opportunities as men, with the same amount of work and effort. I don't feel as though, say if I do the washing, then I am entitled to a gift from my Husband. I do the washing because it needs to be done and I know that I really don't mind doing it, in fact I like the feeling of knowing we both have fresh and clean clothes, folded and put away. Whereas my Husband doesn't like doi…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/15 03:36 PM
1

Yes, I do believe my Husband is the captain of my heart and home (although I must admit it is harder to view him as the captain of the home...) I very much respect myself as a woman and I completely love my Husband. When you ask if I honour, respect, and obey - what do you mean? I guess I am not sure what these entail. I respect him as a person, as my Husband, and as my best friend. But I am not really sure how to honour and obey him. I agree with your statement of 'Life isn't fair', of course i…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/15 03:25 PM
1

I do understand your apprehension, unfortunately that is the way some of the world works - although I have to admit, I don't think I have come across it in my life. There are considerably less women in the STEM subjects, but I do believe that a lot of that is simply because a lot of women do not want to join the STEM subjects, it is not something they are naturally in to. I do have to say though that there is proof that a woman working the same job, with the same qualifications for the same amou…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/15 03:17 PM
2

Men's ego's are much more fragile than women's. If you are sleeping with other people and not with him then that means there is something major wrong with him (couldn't possibly be that there simply isn't an attraction between you two....). Also, most men seem to still think that women should have a low count, and if you don't then you must be a whore - therefore you should sleep with him. If you don't sleep with him then you are just being tight. As for the 'more dates with other men' - why doe…
/r/seduction17/09/15 03:24 PM
10

It is an affront to their ego. She might be slightly upset that you didn't work out - but you don't seem phased by it in the slightest. This shows that you were never interested, didn't find them sexy/funny/good conversationist/etc and that the last 2 weeks meant nothing to you. I'm not saying that this is true, I'm just saying that is how it can feel from a woman's perspective when you jump straight to the next one. Women want to feel special and when you make it out that they are just one pers…
/r/seduction17/09/15 02:30 PM
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