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lmj1202 Archive

View 0 posts and 65 comments by lmj1202 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I'd argue the first time was not a choice. The body and mind keep a tally and you have to pay it one day. The second was. The third I come from a place of confidence in myself because I know I can handle almost anything at this point. Which is what I think she finds attractive, more than the vulnerability aspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 12:49 PM
–

Being truly vulnerable tanked 2 marriages for me. First I had ptsd after too much time in war zones and it made me numb. After a couple years numb I struggled with depression and tried to be open with her and she fell out of love and left immediately. After 15 years together. I was never abusive, was supportive all that stuff. She to this day just says people fall out of love. Second I came into thinking vulnerability and openess was the way. It is not. Married a boss babe. She tried to act like…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 11:35 AM
1

I absolutely was in poverty. I was making 5k a month and had to pay my ex 2k a month out of that. For 5 years. If you do the math that 120k right there. I was couch surfing and had a few stints where I though I was gonna have to live out of my car. This doesn't count the 1k a month I'll have to pay out of my retirement for 2 decades. Im well aware of how child support works and I have no problems paying it, but it is still an expense.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 02:00 PM
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I understand this. Both of my children are geographically dislocated from me. My son I visit regularly through the year and have him for 3 months in the summers and he lives by my parents who have him every other weekend so its a great arrangement overall. My daughter I havent seen in over two years. I have visitation rights and after divorce I tried to arrange seeing my daughter multiple times, and the mom was completely uncooperative. I took her to court and she was basically scolded and told …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 01:39 PM
-2

Screw it I'll share more. Guy I knew 10 years ago had to spend i think 30k in courts to get custody of his children from his exwho was a drug addict and the kids were being abused by her boyfriend. You think a woman would have to pay that if roles were reversed. Buddy i work with nows exes husband got a job offer out of the county and was allowed to bring the kid with her. Courts awarded her custody because she improved financial situation was beneficial to the kid. Colleague I was talking to 2 …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 12:35 PM
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The system is stacked against men. I have two baby mama's and am only in one of the kids lives. The child I'm not in the life of, the mom makes 4 times my income and being military the courts gave my ex rights so she could further her career on the other side of the country. God knows what she makes now. 500k+ a year? Also you can judge all you want but until you are with someone who is manipulative and emotionally abusive you can't judge. I learned a lot from the experience. I have a lot of emp…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 12:15 PM
1

I have 2 divorces. First was young pretty, we were same age. I encouraged her to do school, I payed for college, certifications, to better herself how she wanted. She divorced me at 12 years in because she wanted something different. She never got a chance to do her own thing. All her words. I never, cheated no abuse, I'm financially stable, fit, ambitious. She got half my stuff and I was flirting with poverty for a few years. Second was hard charging boss babe. She was 4 years older than me. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 11:26 AM
1

I get this. Im tall, fit, masculine, professionally successful. As a leader professionaly, I have a lot of empathy, can connect with and engage people. I also have a huge inner dork. I can go on for hours about warhammer, or dnd or anime with the right people. Anyways, I'm very attracted to unconventional, dorky or alt women. They never give me the time of day. I could go on dates with 20 different women like this and get ghosted every time. Give me a conventionally attractive women, who is also…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 11:03 AM
1

I'll be honest. I have no idea what your point is here or what your trying to communicate. It just sounds like a regurgitation of internet nonsense. I don't know who these vaguely identified women, or men who sleep with a thousand people even are. Look, I've been in the military for 22 years now, where dudes cheat on thier siginficant others and fuck everything. I have friends, colleagues, men and women, some promiscuous some not and noone hits these numbers or acts like this. How you frame thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 04:04 PM
7

You don't sound like a pussy, you sound like a balanced human that values connection. I'm the same way. I'm 40 and have been with 4 women and outside my dead bedroom from my last relationship haven't been without sex. I've turned down countless opportunities and chose not to pursue even more possibilities. Heck my current partner was my first attempt at a hook up and now we've been together two years and are planning a mode long term life together. I don't think I'm this way because I'm a pussy …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 11:36 AM
1

I don't think dating younger is bad, or that person won't be who they are in the future. I just feel it's just a gamble. If it works for you and your lifestyle, I say go for it!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 02:45 PM
0

I mean, I suppose young people can, but a lot of people in their 20s are still developing, learning themselves and their place in society. A lot of 20 year old also haven't had as many experiences or have completely figured out their traumas. Sorry to generalize, but I suppose I went a little overboard to make my point. I dont think it's a bad thing. And I didn't mean to frame it as a bad thing, it's part of growth as a human. I just prefer people who are more established and have proven that ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 02:06 PM
6

It's not for me. Im tall, fit, and make over 6 figures, I can have and attract young women easily. I find established, fit, put-together middle-aged aged women wildly more attractive than a 20 something that just looks pretty from genetics. As someone who worked hard to get and maintain myself, Im attracted to the hard work and effort people put into their lives. Im sure others want a young, boring, unestablished 20 year old. That doesn't make it a "fact" or "scientifically proven", which again …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 12:26 PM
4

Way to cherry-pick my response, and I could care less about your argument. My point is that stating studies as scientific facts sets a false narrative for an argument that's is more nuanced. For example, it would be fine to state that a study shows a tendency towards one thing vs. it being a scientific fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 11:55 AM
6

First, just because a study shows a tendency that things skew in a different direction doesn't mean something is "scientifically proven." Also, I'm not sure about your source, but what I read stated, this is variable across cultures and there is evidence to the contrary so its not necessarily fact, but an observation made across multiple studies. It also states that preferences are different from how people actually engage. So someone can say they want younger, but their actions show they want s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/24 11:45 AM
5

I tried a gazillion iterations of pictures and stuff about me with little to no effect on matches. I'd maybe get one a week. The second I put, "gentle giant, 6'4"/230 lbs", I could get 60 matches day. The moral of the story is to be tall fit and semi attractive. I feel for everyone else out there who has to struggle with not having those things. I tried without highlighting it, and the difference once I did was night and day. Maybe what OP says works, but it didn't for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:22 AM
3

This was a hard lesson for me to learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/24 11:10 AM
2

Just make sure she makes the same or more than you. My ex made three times as much as me, I got the house and didn't even have to buy out equity because I declined child support, alimony, and her retirement. I didn't even ask for the house either. I make well over six figures and didn't need anything from her, but the judge still made her give it to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/24 07:21 PM
7

The tricky part is that your goal has to be to meet people and not date them. I'm not saying to just stop and it will happen, because that's shit advice, but everytime I've just shifted to putting myself out there and just enjoying new or different people, I tend to immediately have success.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 11:49 AM
1

I say this, too, as someone who rarely watches porn. If my partner looks at my phone while I'm on Instagram or reddit, I'm always looking at warhammer figures and critiquing paint techniques, but I still do look at porn on rare occasions.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:40 AM
1

Na dude. I have a tight-knit group of close friends. My profession is leadership focused, and I make well over six figures. I could get 60 likes a week on dating apps and dates with any of them with minimal effort. Could never get second dates. My problem was my personality and where I was mentally.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 11:32 AM
4

This was a long time ago. Like 2007 so I don't remember all the details. I did confront her, but the reason we got divorced is because she was avoidant and would never discuss anything, and this was probably no different. I just remember that after this, she never brought up my porn watching again. We divorced in 2017.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:54 AM
0

I feel it's a bit delusional to think there are men that dont. There are just men that maybe do it less or are just really good at hiding it. I imagine the number of men that fully don't is a fraction of a percent.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:43 AM
11

Ah, my ex-wife would say it was cheating and made me feel ashamed all the time. That was until I found her stash of lesbian porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:41 AM
1

As someone who values openness and honesty, I think knowing more about my partner and why they are how they are is very romantic. I think there is a problem with people being insecure about partners' body counts or expecting them to be perfect through life that causes people to hide. For example I'd rather have a partner be open that they fucked up or had moments than frame all thier exes as assholes. I had the latter, I was eventually the asshole despite doing all the "right" things.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 12:13 PM
1

5 sounds the same for me as a man, though I've always framed this as 1 in 20 women I date leads to someone I'm interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 11:52 AM
10

I think men who focus on the improvements op stated with the goal of getting dates might settle, due to feelings of loneliness or desperation. I think people who are genuinely successful for themselves and not with the goal of getting a date are going to have more abundance and less likely to settle. And I say this as the latter, all my hobbies, self improvement, financial success was for myself and my partner matches me in all these things. I would never settle for a directionless, emotionally …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 10:13 AM
1

This is just your echo chamber on the internet. I've been in the military 22 years and see plenty of deadbeat flawed men with conventionally attractive or successful women. Out of the hundreds in my unit, I can name maybe 3 or 4 that fall into the lonely incel trope.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 10:03 AM
1

It's hard out there. I've tried twice to start a family with aspirations to have a lifelong partner like my parents, who have been together 40 years now. Now, at 40 y/o, I'm twice divorced with two baby manas. Some of it was my own fault. Some of it was my partners, and some of it was not picking the right partner. I think in Western society, the game has changed. Feminism has empowered women and raised the bar for what is expected of men. In my experience, a lot of men don't know how to meet th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 12:20 PM
1

This hasn't been my experience. As a 40m who has been married and divorced twice, I've personally been on the negative receiving end of every single one of your statements. And I'm very pro equal rights and open to non-traditional dynamics and gender roles. None of those changed the legal, social, or personal pressure on me, even with my last ex, who was the higher earner and said she wanted a non traditional arangement, but fought against it every step of the way. Always expecting me to make mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 01:15 PM
2

This has been true in my experience. Applying different aspects from different pills just attracts different types of women, so I've never needed to fall into one type of ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/24 11:15 AM
3

Yea, I don't continue to date people like that. Some are open and able to form a genuine connection. I continue to see them and then just look for consistency. On my end, it helps me to be open with most people. Then, being open on a date isn't hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 10:33 AM
2

I made as much effort as possible to make my dating experience as far removed from an interview process as I could and just focus on enjoying meeting new people. The more focused I was. The more calculated I was. The less successful I was. My worst dates were when women did this to me. We get along for an hour, and things seem to be going well, then interview time. Always killed anything we had going. I'm not saying dont be intentional or deliberate, but this is too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 10:08 AM
4

I'm 40m, 22 years in military and going. I have 2 ex-wives and a child with each. I've always tried to improve and be a better person. My first marriage I wasn't the best, the second I didn't pick the best. Now I'm 2 years in a relationship with a woman who is, kind, caring, driven. Very much a catch. She understands my past doesn't define me. She actually admires I was able to learn and grow from my experiences. My point is I had the fears that I would be used goods, but I did the work, and I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/24 05:31 AM
3

I don't think the red pill is totally wrong, even with the examples you provide. I think the issue is more about how the concepts are generalized. I remember reading the rational male 10 years ago. A lot of it was just about self respect and throwing a game that some women play back at them. The issue is that it works on a certain kind of woman, but not all women. I've also experienced some of what you describe. I've been married twice and left for some of the reasons you give. My first marriage…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/24 06:41 AM
1

No matter how good or genuine or empathetic you might be, you will eventually be one of her abusive narcissist exes. That was my experience, at least. Took a lot of therapy to undo the trauma from that relationship.....
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 12:41 PM
10

I was raised the same way. I've been successful with dating, and the things I do for myself have always given me the best results. In the past, I have wavered and focused more on impressing women deliberately, and it has always backfired. My girl now appreciates my sense of self and that I'm unapologetic about my identity.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 08:17 AM
–

I don't know what you're on about. My father never needed variety. He set an example of loyalty and pride in his partner. I don't need variety either. I love when I have a stable relationship because then I can spend more time and energy on my career, health, fitness, and hobbies. Chasing women for different and potentially worse sex isn't worth it. Porn is only useful when my sex life sucks and with my current partner, it does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 06:48 AM
1

The better you take care of yourself as you age, the more you will stand out amongst your peers and be attractive to the opposite sex in your age group. People are attracted to mental and physical health. I'm 40. I never partied, I don't have some jock mentality, I've always progressed professionally, focused on leadership, empathy, and communication. I've raced bicycles most of my adult life to stay fit. I felt average most of my life. I don't now. I also don't waste my time with women more tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/24 07:22 AM
8

My ex-wife was a research director. My current gf is a surgeon. I'm career military, make 6 figures but not research director or surgeon, 6 figures. Ex wife was more traditional, even though she'd never admit it, and things didn't work out. Gf is very non-traditional, and things seem great 2 years in. People are different. I've seen both sides in regards to "boss" women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 04:37 PM
12

I can also make up stories to counterpoint anything to fit the narrative in my head. Cool story, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 03:12 PM
17

My gf is bi and had the same experience. She probably had a 90 percent hit rate with trying to sleep with women before we met. She thought it was crazy I had a hard time getting women and that I dealt with a lot of crappy communication, ghosting, and mixed messages. We are both tall and fit people. The best I could gather is that she gave women a base level of safety where my stature was innately intimidating. It's just a guess, though, and it could be any number of things. Relationships are ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 04:49 PM
14

From my experience, emotional labor all stemmed from a lack of communication. So, for me, it was guessing how they felt when they were acting off. Storming around or being cold and distant. It was adjusting my behavior to be considerate despite me asking how they were feeling and them telling me it's nothing. Then 3 weeks later, saying what really upset them and being even more upset because they internalized it so long. I have a partner now that communicates feelings openly, and I don't feel li…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 01:24 PM
2

I've been through it but it hasn't chosen me. I keep growing, adapting. I get the draw, after being heard broken and crushed. But I'm as empathetic and nurturing as I am stoic and confident, so I won't find happiness or direction from any of these. No pill for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 09:06 AM
–

Ironic statement
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 07:42 AM
–

You mix primary attractors and primary senses here and your discounting my experience. I'm not a child. I'm a 40-year-old man who's come to terms with himself and his sexuality. I've had multiple long-term relationships and marriages. So I understand the difference between friendship, that I can form emotional bonds with people outside of romance, and I can escalate those relationships to a sexual level without being physically attracted to them, if I so choose l. You can spout your unproven evo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 07:39 AM
–

It's not my primary attractor. It is very much secondary for me. I can't just look at an attractive woman and want to have sex with her. I have to know her and form an emotional bond before I perceive her a sexy. I imagine this is more common for women to have this experience than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 07:20 AM
–

I think a lot of these men speak from their own framing and don't understand this. As a man, uniquely, I'm the way you describe. Looks are important, but they are lower on the totem pole than other traits, and if there are enough positive, they can override the value of looks. Doesn't mean I'm ok with someone hideous, but average and great personality all day here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 06:38 AM
1

I think this effects women who's defining traits are their youth and beauty. Not saying older women aren't also beautiful, I believe they absolutely are, but women who are older that I find beautiful also have a great personality, sense of self, direction, stuff like that. They don't just rely on that they are young and hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 09:14 AM
1

I think the problem is more that now women have standards and choice, and men need to have higher standards for themselves. Also, like other people said, this YouTube stuff isn't real life. People can choose to show what they want to fit their message when it comes to media. I'm wary of most things I see and read online in this day and age.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 09:01 AM
7

Well, your experience hasn't been my experience, and where you see contradiction, I see someone wanting balance. I can go "chad" mode and get interest from toxic women. I can go "simp" mode and get attention from toxic women. I'm 40m now. Spent a lot of my life finding balance, and for me, balance lead to a more rewarding and fulfilling relationship. Stop trying to "understand" women and just get to know individuals. Men are just as contradictory and all over the place. This isn't a gendered iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 05:43 AM
7

You're "takeaways" from your "research" imply frustration or you sense contradiction based on how you wrote it. Don't be coy. You know what I'm referring to.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 05:29 AM
10

Who would have thought a woman wants a balanced and well-rounded man? Just like I want a balanced, well-rounded woman. Man, woman, we are all just people. There's no mystery here. Sorry for your experience that led you to where you are now. I hope you figure it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/24 05:24 AM
6

I have 1001 theories on that. For context, she was a top exec, super smart, super successful. I think she couldn't get out of her own way and had too much baggage. I think her strength and independence and stubbornness were because of her trust issues from her dad. I'm kind of like guy A. I don't cry a lot, but I'm emotionally open. I think I'd be a great stay at home dad, but I have more ambition than that. I'm a leader in the military, and my nurturing nature has given me a lot of success, bec…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 05:35 PM
5

I married woman A. We are divorced now.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/24 11:39 AM
7

Say what you will, but as a 40m, this has been my experience with any woman who turned into a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/24 01:49 PM
0

I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of sex and biology. Having sex releases hormones that help create and enhance bonds between people. It's why people stay in toxic relationships with great sex. Ideally, a person would find a mate who treats them well and has great sex. So, for most people, if you don't have sex you are missing half the equation. For you, I think Ideally you'd have to find a partner also on the spectrum. As you've seen, a lot of women here are saying it's a no-go an…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 10:20 AM
1

I literally acknowledge men hold the highest positions. You're not even paying attention after you tried to call me out. Common man had an enormous amount of power over the common woman. Until recently, women didn't have the right to all these things. Property rights Voting No fault divorce Rights to equivalent education Body Autonomy Right to equal wages If you want to educate yourself further, here's a ton more. https://www.usnews.com/news/the-report/articles/2017-01-20/timeline-the-womens-rig…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:19 PM
1

I understand what I said. With the feminist movement, there is more equality than ever. Men don't hold the power in day to day life like they used to. I get larger society, like big business and politics it's still there but for us plebs, its becoming more common for women to have equal or higher paying jobs, education levels and just be overall well off without men. Again, Im not saying everything is equal, and I still see a lot of sexism and male favoritism. Patriarchy social organization mark…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 08:03 PM
2

I'm so confused. I 100 percent agree with you. The article backs what you say with evidence from a similar situation in the past. Yes, it's not humans, but it's the closest relation we have. I'm not saying it did happen to humans. I'm agreeing it hasn't. The next evolution of humans will take a lot of death. Just like humans emerged from the same. Again, it validates your point. I feel like you're messing with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 05:15 PM
2

Um..... I was agreeing with you and showing that your point seems valid based on evidence from prior species. If it happened to our ancestors for us to thrive, perhaps it would take the same for us to see the next change. Was that not your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 03:35 PM
1

Interesting point. Some Google showed our ancestors almost did, and that opened the door for us. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/human-ancestors-nearly-went-extinct-900-000-years-ago/
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 03:06 PM
6

Things have changed. Nothing you describe is as relevant to women as it used to be. Granted, I'm 40 and dated 30 plus, but most of those women were looking for emotional availability, openness, and commitment. I've dated successful women too, a research director, CFO, anesthesiologist. Im just an enlisted leader in the military and am just now finishing my bachelors degree. I make good money but not enough to provide for women on that level. My current partner is a surgeon. She just appreciates …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:03 PM
5

Good for you that this is your experience, but none of it is true to mine. I've had 4 very long-term partners 2 were less sexual, and 2 were more sexual than me. The first one that was more sexual I broke up after a few years because everything was sex all the time, and I was young and wanted more. My current partner also wants sex all the time, but we are able to do other things. She's also mid-30s, and I'm 40, so we both want a little more than just sex. I'm good with a couple of times a week,…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 06:24 AM
1

I think everyone should care. Have you seen what this is doing to birth rates in the east? If everyone is independent, alone, and childless, there will literally be societal collapse.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 03:43 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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