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lolthankstinder Archive

View 6 posts and 1,352 comments by lolthankstinder on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

May I present possibility 3: women were traditionally in charge of household decoration and chores which led to the formation of a feminine model of home management. Bread winning women force men to adhere to this traditional feminine model of home management rather than allowing the formation of a differing masculine model that the men would enjoy better, or that might favor function over form and require less upkeep. For example, I have yet to meet a woman happy with just using the original di…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 02:06 PM
1

I agree with the point but not the argument and wording like “mythical angelic girl”. I think women exercising more realistic standards for men, especially for young women towards young men, gives men more social calibration and experience that acts as positive externalities for other women. Other women meet guys that have more experience on how to treat women romantically and sexually. You’re not going to get this experience just from being friends with women, you need realistic access to casua…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:25 AM
1

Physical attraction is often preconceived, unfair, and unreasonable. So the question shouldn’t really be “is experiencing attraction discriminatory”. I think the discriminatory part is what you do AFTER the attraction. Like if a woman thinks a guy is cute BUT xyz… that xyz part is the discriminatory part.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:57 AM
7

I’m saying that if the tables were reversed women would be complaining too. I think unrealistic standards for hookups is just as bad as unrealistic standards for porn. It’d be a sad world if every 5/10 woman is getting railed and discarded like an object by some 10/10 dude, while every 5/10 guy is getting extorted for $ by some 10/10 model, instead of the 5/10 man and woman being able to just be happy together.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:41 PM
-1

Men can virtually hook up with a 10 through porn and a lot of women complain about porn ruining men’s standards too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 02:32 PM
20

It's dating apps and anonymity. Back in the day if you were in a small town and treated dating the same as today, the entire town would think you're an asshole. If you were a woman constantly getting led on by guys out of your league while ignoring plenty of perfectly great guys, the town would call you tf out on it. If you were a guy being super weird or creepy, the town would call you tf out on it. People would help socially calibrate your actions and standards. Now on dating apps we get none …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:49 PM
1

I think people are in denial that the modern digital age inflates women's standards. Many women very much want to believe that this was the result of feminism and that women are perfect and men are bad. However, I think that dating would STILL be struggling today even if later waves of feminism had been delayed. People are too afraid to study, highlight, or counteract the effects of the digital age on women's standards out of fear of coming off as antifeminist and having their reputation and car…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 04:15 PM
5

On Tinder I remember subscribing to the premium feature where I could see everyone who had swiped on me and it was just tons and tons of fat women. A lot of guys may experience genuine sexual desire from women, it's just not women that they find sexually attractive so it goes unnoticed. Also a another fun thing that women often do when they experience genuine sexual attraction is THEY DON'T FUCKIN TELL YA. So you find out like weeks or years later she was DTF but you didn't notice her looking at…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:39 PM
2

It’s a good thing that women don’t feel pressured to marry, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for women to have toxic or unrealistic standards for men. As pressure to marry is relieved, pressure to relax protector provider standards for men should increase. Just as men are encouraged to let go of antiquated standards for women, so too should women be encouraged to let go of antiquated standards for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 02:44 PM
-3

Well yea a society that hates men more is more likely to have laws that criminalize men in various ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:29 PM
8

This is the top comment now tho so I'll hijack it to say... I think the definition of misogyny is unfairly wider than misandry. If you treat it literally as "hating" men/women and wanting nothing to do with them, then more women truly hate men than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:04 AM
–

We all have choices but women today have more. Men's choice is fight (economically) or die (figuratively). Even men on the grind won't have as much mate choice as women on the grind unless they are very economically successful. Young women, before they happily and willingly choose marriage, are also more empowered. Way more college women study abroad than men. It's because many things are easier for women including fitting in to new places and meeting people.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:52 PM
–

You see more competent and capable men because men's value to women and society is tied to their success and economic viability. Many capable and competent women end up choosing marriage and family because they can and they want to. College-educated women, who have a lot of economic potential, are more likely to get married and stay married. Women are more empowered today to choose and get what they want, but men either grind or are shunned into shameful, sexless, lonely obscurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:25 PM
–

You can monetize that. Many women force all those weirdos to pay money to send them DMs. If enough weirdos DM you, you can hire weirdos to respond to the weirdos for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:13 PM
4

Many women aren't opposed to forcibly (chemically) castrating the bottom N% of men. In westernized civilization girls are much preferred now for adoption over boys. If an alien race came to earth without history biasing their perceptions they'd see like 97% of prisoners being men and would probably conclude that modern western society is more misandrist than misogynist. Male biology is far more hated than female biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:12 PM
1

Average physique in US or Europe?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 04:10 PM
4

It shifts the burden of being amoral onto average men. In order to undergo casual exploration they often have to be a little disingenuous and feign interest in LTR, otherwise they wouldn’t be considered at all. Or, the men lacking a solid baseline experience get stuck in a bad relationship or marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 06:43 AM
2

Asymmetrical sexual access, and the idea that scarcity creates value, leads to asymmetrical perceptions. Guys grow up feeling like sex is super hard to get for them but easy for women to get, so they perceive sex as a delicacy for men and an indulgence for women. If young guys grew up with sex easy to get, they’d have a lot more similar perspectives about sex and relationships as women and perceive men and women having it less asymmetrically.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 05:30 AM
0

You have to look at it from an economic perspective. Shooting your shot requires little energy and has massive upside. Think of it like lottery tickets. Your chances of winning the Powerball are 1 in 292,201,338 but if the ticket only costs $2, why not buy a couple? At scale, this leads to a lot of people just buying a couple lottery tickets. They also hear about the winners making massive money which reinforces the "just buy a couple" mentality. To solve this problem, the focus is always on cha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 03:20 PM
4

They're both just terms for demonizing male sexual attraction to women. "Sexualization" is for hating on men experiencing sexual attraction to a woman outside of romantic/dating contexts whereas "objectification" is for hating on men desiring casual sex within romantic/dating contexts.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 12:25 AM
2

Requiring a license to date sounds like extreme government overreach. Education is helpful though. In addition to basic sex ed in schools you could encourage talking about modern dating etiquette and tips.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 12:17 PM
–

If men’s sexual attraction is “indiscriminate” then wouldn’t that mean guys are less shallow than women? Guys also get flak for being more shallow and I think the moral of the story is people just like to find ways to hate on men by any available means.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 01:46 PM
–

At 19 dating was pretty rough for me and it was tough just to get attention from a single attractive woman. So, I fixated on the one thing hardest to find: sex/attraction. At 27 women finally started giving me more attention and I finally started having a surplus of sex and attractive options. So, I started caring more about other things like intelligence and personality. Men fixate on sex because women make it scarce and rare. When it’s not scarce and rare, men don’t fixate on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 03:32 AM
1

It’s not a wall, it’s a hill. Men tend to start low and trend up while women start high and slowly trend down. Also it’s not just about you. You might be a 9/10 at 22 and just an 8/10 at 30. However, tons of other 8/10 women all stop messing around when they’re 25+ or so. Meanwhile a guy also might be a 9/10 at 21 and 8/10 at 30… but now he’s got hordes of women actually finally taking him seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/24 03:19 AM
1

Guess who taught me about pleasuring the clitoris? A woman. Guess how she taught me? Lots of sex. You think guys are going to learn from YouTube or something?? Ever wonder why porn actresses have to moan up a storm? Why not just stay quiet? It’s because most guys are naturally into women enjoying sex. The desire to pleasure women is there. The problem is simple economics and women’s sexual selectivity. People are, in general, more willing to put in effort and make compromises for more attractive…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:22 PM
2

A lot of people love to dismiss dating app issues as “only on dating apps”. Okay but all the underlying causes don’t just magically disappear in real life, they just come out more on dating apps because of all the options and the relative anonymity. Well same thing for Reddit. Under the guise of anonymity people feel more comfortable saying how they really feel. They still have those opinions IRL too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/24 02:18 AM
–

It’s an existing system that young men and young women enter. From young men’s perspective they have to shoot their shot every opportunity they get because getting opportunities is so difficult and rare. You say men need to be the ones to fix this but I think it’s a lot harder to lessen shooting your shot when it’s already rare than developing a new strategy to manage tons of options.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 07:35 PM
–

Dating apps and social media give women an extreme power imbalance in initial choices/selectivity but it evens out beyond that point. Consequently, many guys do not have enough power to choose/filter women so many may… take what they can get and many women deal with the consequences of that. In order to fix the imbalance, women have to do something very counterintuitive and go for the center of their distribution of male attention, not the top. If every woman did that then suddenly a lot of guys…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 07:08 PM
1

My personal experience concurs!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 02:47 AM
1

More scummy than entering into relationships with zero exploration and no idea what you actually want so you just break up months to years later?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 01:30 AM
1

If you’re just trying to explore, it doesn’t matter if she’s promiscuous or sexually reserved. That’s not why guys are pressuring her.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/24 01:11 AM
1

Economics. Women can usually find a man much more physically attractive than you that’s willing to have sex with them. Think about it from a guy’s perspective. Would you commit to the first woman that gives you a one night stand? Or would you perhaps have higher standards for commitment? So, 99% of the time there’s a guy much hotter than you willing to have sex with her, but not willing to commit to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:59 PM
0

Might want to use that dictionary to learn a couple of the other words I said like "We assign value to things based on how difficult they are to obtain. Sex is hard for men to get so it's seen as an achievement for them. Sex for women is easier to get so it's seen as an indulgence." It's not a double standard, it's the exact same standard applied to men AND women: that which is harder to obtain is more impressive to obtain, and that which is very easy to obtain is indulgent.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:54 PM
1

Do you...actually believe there's a relation between how promiscuous they are and how attractive they look? No I do not believe that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:52 PM
0

We assign value to things based on how difficult they are to obtain. Sex is hard for men to get so it's seen as an achievement for them. Sex for women is easier to get so it's seen as an indulgence. It's not a double standard, the standard is constant. If sex with attractive women was super easy for all men to obtain then obtaining it wouldn't be that special anymore and they too would be perceived as indulgent.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:40 PM
0

You grew up feeling like you could get sex whenever you want. For most guys it's not like that. Sex seems scarce and valuable so men have to fixate on obtaining it, otherwise they might miss such a rare and special opportunity. When women do want to explore, most just do so with very attractive men that would never commit to them. They only give attention to guys in their league if a relationship is involved. So, your choices as a guy are to drastically lower your physical standards and explore …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 11:19 PM
10

Have you ever tried dating a highly educated successful woman? Have you ever wondered if maybe the reason the guys feel that way is the fault of the women, not the men? Many chronically single “successful” women are very egotistical and narcissistic which is why they tend to blame their lack of dating success on everything but themselves. You use twins as an example but truth is, if a barista and CEO are both giving the same guy the time of day, the CEO is more likely to be much much less desira…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/24 06:43 AM
–

Women used to have a ton of their valuation tied to being a mother but feminism fought to stop that. Now your valuation is tied to lots of other things and just “being a mother” isn’t that special anymore. Society doesn’t appreciate being a mother as much because that is what women wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 10:39 PM
–

How about women stop worrying about men looking at them and stop assuming every guy is a creep/criminal?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 10:53 PM
–

Men don’t go to the manosphere for solutions. They go to feel validated and heard and not have everything blamed on them collectively or individually for once.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 04:35 AM
–

Women could also select for guys with parenting qualities rather than selecting for height/income then hoping for parenting qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/24 10:25 PM
1

What if men have normal horniness and women are more sexually selective and/or have higher sexual inhibitions because of biology?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 03:10 AM
1

Sort by controversial and you see them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/24 02:47 AM
4

I started out casual with my fiancée! We had both recently got out of relationships so neither of us were really looking to dive into another relationship. So, we just focused on going on fun dates and having amazing sex. After a few months we got know each other much more deeply and at that point we started to actually fall for each other. Hot take but... I think the problem is women. Or, more specifically, women who pathologize male sexual attraction. It's just a very natural, normal, biologic…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 09:19 PM
5

Suppose two companies are strategizing how to filter apples. Consumers like apples that are big and/or taste good. Each company uses machinery that can filter by size, then determine taste quality. Company A decides to have a strict filter based on apple size. However, they set the filter threshold low so that many apples still make it through to the more in-depth taste quality stage despite the strictness of the initial filter. Company B, on the other hand, decides to use a high size filter tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 06:05 PM
1

Feminism evolves. There have been like 3-5 waves now. So, there is no “end goal” of feminism. It will always exist and evolve and be primarily focused on advancing women, not men. For those who say the end goal is “equality”, equality is subjective. What is the equivalent of a woman giving birth? There is no perfect way to equate fundamental biological differences between men and women, but feminism will always equate them in a way that favors and advantages women over men. Each wave of feminism…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 03:25 PM
0

So women don’t guard their men? Totally happy with them going off and having sex with other women? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 10:28 PM
4

Yes it’s not a study, it’s an observation. One made almost every year in pornhub insights. You don’t necessarily need an account to classify viewers. You can use accounts to sample gender differences and then use the determined differences to classify/cluster anonymous visits. Have you ever heard of femdom? Many men consume porn degrading towards men as well. If a woman watches femdom porn are you just as eager to call her a misandrist? Or is that a judgement you reserve solely for men? How woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 01:16 PM
6

A lot of men also prefer porn that’s degrading towards men. Just look up femdom, there’s tons of categories. If a woman likes to watch femdom porn I don’t think anyone’s first thought is “omg she hates men!!” That reaction occurs against men because of anti-sex sentiment and misandry.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 12:49 PM
7

I think you just have some deep rooted hatred of men and sex and suffer from agency bias where you always perceive women as helpless victims and men as perpetrators. Women tend to be the biggest consumers of hardcore porn. Have you ever had a partner demand that you choke them? Because lots of men have, including me. However, most men just get off from women’s enjoyment which is why most porn actresses are always moaning up a storm. I would also venture to say that your views are founded in misa…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 05:14 AM
7

Not sure about the context but I was easily able to find the post from this screenshot on google. hxxps://np.reddit.com/r/fourthwavewomen/comments/1dy8uc2/not_all_men_but_somehow_always_a_man_sources_at/lc71d5y/
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 04:14 AM
5

I agree! Would love to be able to easily get laid for a few months. Spent half a decade trying to attain that when I was younger. When I was finally able to do that in my late 20s I finally started wanted and appreciating connection and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 04:08 AM
3

If you believe that attractive women have immense sexual capital and power that can boost socioeconomic status then yes - men can be attracted to attractive women with superior sociological status gained through their attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 04:03 AM
2

So you think every red pill view is MRA?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 10:10 PM
-3

Did you read those big words? In plainer terms, if men and women grow up with more similar experiences, they will have more similar views. This includes views on sex and n-counts. A well watered garden knows no thirst. We already endlessly pathologize and demonize the thirst, so why not encourage some watering of the garden as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:23 PM
-1

I’ve never once seen expectation of specifically virgin brides brought up in the context of MRA.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 04:20 PM
3

Asymmetrical n-count stigma stems from asymmetrical experiences and perspectives. N-count is seen as an achievement for men and indulgence for women because it’s harder for the former and easier for the latter. If men were to grow up with sex and intimacy as easily attainable as women, men’s views on sex and relationships would be closer to women’s and sexual stigma, if any, would be more symmetrical. I’d also argue that asymmetrical n-count stigma stems from widespread misandry and pathologizat…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 02:41 PM
–

In the U.S. Declaration of Independence they explicitly mention life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as certain unalienable rights. Sex with beautiful women makes a lot of men happy and falls under the pursuit of happiness category, not the life category. If not having sex with men makes women happy they have a right to pursue that too. It’s not a right to the happiness, it’s a right to its pursuit.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 01:27 PM
10

I think it’s actually dual mating strategy. Women are biologically inclined to balance evolutionary fitness and parenting qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 06:30 AM
102

Women already do make the first move, it’s just only with extremely attractive guys. The actual underlying cause of a lot of modern dating issues is that a lot of modern dating is inherently shallow, and women are not instantly physically attracted to most guys. Women tend to find most men below average or “medium ugly” until they get to know them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/24 06:58 PM
2

They are equivalent in two aspects I’m trying to demonstrate. First, they both stem from biology. Second, they can both vary in magnitude from biological differences. Consequently, hate directed at women for having periods should be perceived similarly to hate directed at men for being sexually attracted to women. It’s sexism. I am anti sexism and pro catering to men and women’s unique biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 02:13 PM
2

I’m equating sexual feelings to periods. Both are biological and yes both can be controlled. However, some women might have PCOS or whatever so their periods are worse. Well, same thing for sexual attraction. Someone might biologically feel it differently or more strongly than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:34 AM
1

You really think women have no control of how they act when on their period?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:17 AM
2

Sexual interest is a biological function that just happens. Periods induce a feeling and how you act upon them are entirely within your control.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 03:10 AM
1

Hate directed at a woman because of her period is more likely to be classified as sexism because it’s associated with a biological difference. Hate directed at men for their sexual interest in women however…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/24 11:24 PM
2

Match quantity alone is not a decent measure of relative desirability. I bought Tinder gold/plat/diamond or whatever that let me see who had liked me and I’ve never seen so many fat women before in my life. My match rate would’ve been immensely higher if I was into that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/24 07:22 PM
2

Young sounds very egotistical and thinks wayyy too highly of herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 02:17 PM
1

Alabama average is much different from a San Diego 6. I think “average” is relative to the context of one’s life and lifestyle. You could inundate any woman with 10/10 guys and she would start to find them average.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 12:32 PM
5

I think that rule is a designed as a guard against too much content devolving into looks-based pessimism. This post is more about defining what the average male actually looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 12:24 PM
2

Many men deal with successive rejections by shifting their perspective to always be on the lookout for opportunity. Women dislike this because it leads to more objectification and harassment. So, rather than asking how men are supposed to deal with it, I would instead ask how women plan to deal with it and encourage more successful positive connections between men and women. More men and women positively connected means more mutual/shared understanding and less men running around on the prowl.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 11:47 AM
14

As much as I love giant, sexually size dimorphic blue ice barbarians with huge clit-optimized dicks..
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 11:12 AM
1

Oo fun topic but 10h too late from getting buried. I think men are fixated on getting women simply because of perceived scarcity. It’s an extension of socialization, men grow up and get socialized to associate getting women with attractiveness, status, and success as well as rarity, scarcity and difficulty. If men grew up with experiences more similar to women, they would have views and perspectives more similar to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 03:10 AM
2

My girlfriend said I needed to grab something from the grocery store so I mentioned men are statistically more likely to be the victims of violent crime and I can’t put my safety at risk to run errands.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 04:15 PM
2

Also men are technically statistically more likely to be the victims of violent crime but we still happily go on dates. I guess men are just more brave?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:57 PM
2

But not as much!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:34 PM
5

Just hit the gym and date a short skinny guy that you can beat tf out of. Guys wouldn’t be so tall and strong if women didn’t select for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:25 PM
–

I have memories of a couple of my exes breaking down and crying burned into my mind forever. It’s not fun and I wish there was a better way. But, there’s just no other way I could’ve gotten romantic experience. If I hadn’t entered into those relationships I would’ve fallen irrecoverably behind in experience with women. If that’s the way women want things to continue to go then by all means let’s keep telling young women to shoot for the moon rather than just having reasonable and realistic stand…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:14 AM
–

What do you mean pay for sex? All I had to do was wait and gained experience/exploration through several monogamous relationships. Around 28 I was getting so much attention from attractive women that I could actually start being picky about other things like personality, intelligence and all the other things women hate on intimacy starved men for not caring enough about.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 03:05 AM
–

I had a very tall guy on my dorm floor with a different woman every other night. He ended up getting busted for selling drugs and got kicked out. Lovely chap. I knew women that would go to “crush” parties and hook up with guys. One time a friend called me crying from some frat party at 1am so I went to go pick her up. There are tons of young women who want to sexually explore. They don’t start only wanting sex in the context of relationships until after all the bad experiences. But, guys don’t h…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:59 AM
–

You think women are nothing but holes? Sheesh. What kind of sex are you having?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 02:44 AM
–

I am an 80 percenter. Growing up I could only get attention from desirable women if there was a promise of a relationship involved. So, instead of just being able to explore in a casual, non-committal manner, I had to just go balls to the walls from relationship to relationship like “is this the one?” “Nope”. “Is this the one?” “Nope”. “Is this the one?” “Nope”. It would’ve been SO much easier and nicer for everyone if I could just casually explore with the same women that would only consider me…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 11:51 PM
–

Women tend to crave emotional connection more than sex and there are more socially accepted avenues to obtaining that extramaritally.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 11:11 PM
2

I think everyone has a “budget” based on their own desirability. While a very attractive woman may have a high budget, she may also have “expensive tastes”. So, she filters out a lot of guys and is able to be less picky about the fewer remaining ones. Meanwhile, a hot woman with a large budget that doesn’t care for a trendy in-demand guy can afford to be very very picky about other things. So, I think the women that are able to be the most picky have the least “lifestyle creep”. They have lower …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 02:59 PM
2

If you read the post, while some banks may have discriminated, others were eager to pick up the slack to maximize profit. The biggest issue afflicting women appeared to be application avoidance, like not applying simply due to the perception or fear they would not succeed. Perception or fear of not succeeding is not exclusive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 12:35 AM
2

Women could have bank accounts before the 1970s. It was just legal for creditors to discriminate on the basis of sex and deny female applicants. Here is an informative post on the topic: https://np.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/s/3480KDi0aB
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 11:37 PM
5

The gap in college attainment of women over men is about as large now as it was for men over women in 1970. College campuses are nowhere near 90/10 but according to the admissions officer author of a well known NYT opinion from a while ago, To All The Girls I’ve Rejected, higher F:M ratios cause enrollment to go down for some reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 04:14 AM
1

That point was meant to demonstrate the existence of social pressure, not to encourage getting the hopes up and wasting the time of people they are blatantly and obviously not into. The keywords there are blatantly and obviously. On a dating app you might see one bad pic/angle and swipe left and POOF. That person was just erased from your existence. Period. End of story. In real life, however, you can’t do that. There’s more opportunity and chance for something to happen and I think that is a ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 03:58 AM
1

Fair point. I think it’s still sort of a similar concept tho. The warm approach makes it harder to reject someone based on some shallow, unobjective hunch/feeling that they’re “off” because that would clash with the mutual friend’s perception. You could just as easily have similar success on dating apps by not threat profiling everyone as a creep/criminal and just going on dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 02:41 AM
1

Exactly! They wouldn't say they rejected you for those shallow reasons because they don't want to be perceived as shallow. For similar reasons, warm approaches are more likely to be at least given consideration which creates more opportunity and leads to increased rates of success.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 02:00 AM
2

Well no, only on dating apps, hence my point. You can't be that shallow in real life or people will judge tf out of you. There's more social pressure to be a decent person and actually give a warm approach a chance and that's why they remain a common method of finding love.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 01:52 AM
4

If you know a friend well, they probably have many coworkers/colleagues/friends that you don't. I think warm approaches are statistically more likely to be with a friend of friend that you don't actually know that well, potentially as little as someone on a dating app, because everyone's friend of friend network is much larger than their friend network. They just work out more because you can't just swipe left and erase someone from existence which creates more opportunity to "fall" in love. It'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 01:49 AM
3

An "obvious" mismatch in looks, sure. But I'm talking like "I only date guys over 6 feet tall'" or "I only date women with DDs" kinda stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 01:05 AM
3

I don't believe in love at first sight. I think most people have to "fall" in love. Based on my experiences I think this is especially true of women. Many women in my life have fallen for someone after getting to them a little bit but very well may have just swiped left on them on a dating app. Warm approaches make it harder to just swipe left on someone and never see them again which creates more opportunity to fall in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/24 01:02 AM
4

The study I linked.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 11:35 PM
8

Hot take but I think warm approaches work “better” simply because of the increased accountability for being shallow. If you next someone on apps for an extremely trivial/shallow reason, no one will know. But in real life, now all your friends and their friends would know you’re shallow. The apps would be just as successful with social accountability for being shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 09:46 PM
2

And if you want to quote Christian Rudder here’s a fun one <image> Source: Dataclysm by Christian Rudder page 17. Same guy that did the OKCupid blog stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 09:07 PM
3

And compared to women, men are a just under half as likely to receive a reply from a comparably desirable person (desirability measured via “page rank” algorithm, see study below). <image> Source That study also finds that BOTH men and women message aspirationally.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 09:03 PM
3

Women swipe right on like 7% of men on Tinder on average so men are learning from the best on how to be shallow ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 08:52 PM
5

Sheesh the internalized misandry is strong with this one. You know it’s possible to love a man for more than just his wallet right?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 08:45 PM
1

In Dataclysm, the cofounder of OkCupid talks about his analyses on anonymized data. One of his findings was that women rated most men as below average. Only one guy in six is “above average” in an absolute sense. Sex appeal isn’t something commonly quantified like this, so let me put it in a more familiar context: translate this plot to IQ, and you have a world where the women think 58 percent of men are brain-damaged. There’s a website TinderInsights that people like to upload their Tinder data…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:24 PM
9

I know a woman who is very mid and only dates guys that are tall, muscular, educated, and emotionally intelligent. She recently found a guy and they hooked up for about a month when he suddenly had a “family matter” and “needed some time” and just dipped. The “family matter” was like his friend’s mom got sick lol. She always gets used for sex because she never gives chances to guys that would actually commit to her long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 06:06 PM
2

Let’s disambiguate “standards” from initial selectivity. Men with “low standards” might “date” many women… for a little while. However, eventually their actual standards kick in and they dip. If only if there was a way to make men be more selective… oh wait, you’re saying that standards get calibrated by attention and if men with low standards got more attention, they’d be pickier. I agree! By that same logic, couldn’t too much attention cause women’s standards to inflate? If a bunch of men “hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 10:15 PM
1

It’s incredibly toxic and pretty to be constantly evaluating someone in a relationship and dynamically adjusting how you treat them. Like imagine you get the flu and your partner is like whelp you aren’t devoting much energy to me so fuck you, tit for tat. For dating PRE relationship tit for tat works great. People that like you more will put in more effort so expending more effort on them works out. This is especially relevant if you have lots of options to choose from.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:45 AM
4

Initial selectivity is primarily shallow. I think low initial selectivity is superior because it encourages you to get out and experience things with people and actually create opportunity to discover a deeper connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:17 PM
7

Define favor. In 1912 women did not have the right to vote in the US but when the titanic sank, women’s survival rate was 75% compared to 20% for men. By social class, first class had a combined average of 62%. So, women overall had more “favor” than the highest social class.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 11:13 PM
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Women’s equivalent of “I’d fuck her but wouldn’t marry her” is just “I wouldn’t even fuck him because I get so much attention already”. If women gave men as much adoration and attention as men do women, men would act and think much more like women do. Men face tons of hate and demonization for their overadoration of women already so it’s only just that women receive some hate and demonization for their underadoration of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 08:00 PM
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Logically women already know those guys are comparably desirable, hence why they are considering them. Logic isn’t the problem, it’s women’s insane physical threshold for men to actually be sexually attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 07:46 PM
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If women were as starved of attention and intimacy as men, they’d do the same: happily accept an oasis of attention before venturing back out into the desert.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 06:50 PM
2

We’d see a lot of obese women losing weight, experiencing the positive effects of being and feeling more attractive, posting on social media, and facing off with the self-serving male-attraction-hating obesity normalization lobby with weird comments like “you were beautiful before and you’re beautiful now!” Uh no, you were not. It’s crazy the lengths people will go to avoid having a healthy lifestyle and pathologize the desire to look good and eat healthy. Ozempic isn’t that big of a deal. Women…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 02:09 PM
7

Women are constantly "leaving" dating apps. New Year's is one of the most popular times on the apps because women make resolutions to try them out again. The problem is that many women treat dating apps like interviewing and men like an endless stream of disposable mediocre candidates. People often seek to confirm their biases so when women go onto the apps assuming men are disposable and mediocre, they become hyperaware of things that confirm their bias and end up constantly seeing and encounte…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 08:34 PM
1

I had a friend of a friend who was really freaking hot and recently went through a break up. She was hellbent on getting laid and I was her first target. We made out in one of the hottest spontaneous make out sessions of my life but at some point she lost her balance and stumbled a little bit and I realized she was drunk. So, I backed off and turned her down. She just found some other random dude that night and hooked up with him instead. Alcohol did not influence her decision to hookup. She was…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 03:46 PM
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It’s the inexperience. Women play a vital role in socializing men including in romantic roles. The more you fall behind, the harder it is to catch up. Young women today tend to have an easier time getting attention today so they grow very selective. If a guy seems a little “off” on a date you just next him and go for option #742. However, this creates a negative externality where increasing amounts of young men don’t get experience and are more likely to seem “off”. Jake is not completely social…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/24 04:10 AM
3

No one cares if some random stuck up woman at a bar rejects you in a humiliating manner, you’re never going to see her again. However if you shoot your shot on a woman in your circle, now all your friends know about it. Women get tons and tons of options and attention and often look for shortcuts to evaluate men’s desirability. If a guy has already been rejected by a woman’s friend, that’s a great shortcut to dismiss him as undesirable. Furthermore, even if a woman did like you, now she feels li…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 07:59 PM
0

By some definitions of rape, I get raped many times a week by my girlfriend because I do not explicitly give consent. However, by many definitions and perspectives on rape, I am actually the one doing the raping simply because I have a penis.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 04:34 AM
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Women’s orgasm is an evolutionary reward mechanism designed to influence mate choice. While women may be very physically attracted to certain guys, guys that get a lot of attention often care less about any particular woman and are more likely to pursue short term mating strategies. Women’s orgasm requires more effort, investment, and commitment and rewards women for selecting guys that are more invested in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 12:07 PM
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I believe in the mate-choice hypothesis of the female orgasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/24 04:19 AM
1

You use statistical parity as a measure of equality. Keep in mind that many women may choose to do the things contributing to a lot of these stats. For example, you mention “married men are more successful than married women, unmarried women, and married men”. Well women also happen to be very attracted to successful men and those men may be more likely to get married simply because of women’s freedom of choice, not oppression. Surveys on domestic labor rarely control for choice, expectations, o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:29 PM
1

We’re animals with higher level brains slapped on top that interact with animalistic brain functions in ways that are not fully understood. Women’s perception tends to align with feminism which champions the idea of socialization. With socialization, you can brainwash undesirable evolutionary tendencies away in children and influence how they manifest.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/24 11:17 AM
2

And there’s often difference between our actual personalities and how we act/signal in public. Many people burrito themselves into a blanket at home but act and dress different when out. Again, there’s nothing wrong with putting in effort to appeal to men. Negative Nancies need a chill pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 05:03 PM
19

Pick me girls are cool. It’s nice to see someone actually put in effort for something they want rather than just being a fat lazy negative Nancy that shames everyone for trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/24 05:15 AM
1

“How do I compare to other women you’ve dated?” After everyone gets some baseline dating experience, I think this would help women distinguish the desirability of guys willing to consider them for something short term via guys willing to consider them long term. Women would know if they’re just another mediocre option, or if they’re one of the most desirable women the guy has ever dated. The former case is much more likely (but not guaranteed) to result in commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/24 10:34 PM
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So if you’ve never fallen for a dude straight away, how do you swipe on dating apps? And how do you think other women do that feel similarly?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/24 12:25 AM
1

It is a major problem for women (and men) and you can’t just brainwash or eliminate men. You could def keep criminalizing men but per the defund the police movement, most crimes have other underlying causes that can be addressed. Idk why it’s such an unpopular take but a lot of rape and negative sexual encounters could be prevented by promoting safe, healthy, realistic avenues to sex. Bigoted hatred for men and sex prevents us from moving forward towards a world that’s happier, safer, and more a…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 08:30 PM
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Back in the day men were evaluated primarily by their ability to work and provide. You could be the greatest guy and the best father in the world but if you weren’t able to provide then you were worthless. Women were also primarily evaluated by their ability to have and raise children. However, men had it slightly better because being pressured to provide came with economic power. No one was forced to do anything, but you were strongly encouraged to adhere to your roles to be successful and cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 12:42 PM
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Going to reference each point via acronyms. Men’s SE, BI, EE, FE, SE, and women’s GS, BIP all pretty much just relate to gender norms/stereotypes. Both men and women face antiquated norms but I’m glad ChatGPT lists a ton for men because I feel like the antiquated norms men face don’t receive a lot of attention and are often ignored or rationalized away by women and we end up with normalized terms like “economically unmarriageable men”. Com, BI, BIP, DD, and CvR seem trivially related to gender. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 02:54 AM
1

Out at bars and clubs nowadays you end up talking to a lot of women that don’t want to be talked to and they treat you like a creepy waste of oxygen. That gets exhausting after a while. On dating apps, however, I could showcase myself with fun and interesting pics in exciting places and match with women more interested in getting to know me. If they’re down to grab a drink then BAM, now I’m at a bar talking to a woman interested in getting to know me rather than getting treated like a creepy int…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 04:20 AM
1

I saw it with my own eyes on the page. It’s actually where I learned the difference between legal and physical custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 03:23 AM
1

You don’t lose legal custody of your child over Facebook. It’s just personal information with very little to do with “safety” that really shouldn’t be revealed to tens of thousands of people as “tea”. You can lose other things though like your job and reputation to a mob mentality eager to confirm biases and assumptions, hence the “legal rights and the burden of proof are too inconvenient to me” vibes. In season 6 of Love is Blind, Jessica was nervous to reveal she was a mom during the dating pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/24 04:34 PM
1

Oh wow no wonder you have such a positive perspective of the groups. You should come check out the one in my city that was gossip central for 50k+ women and has been shut down a few times. I remember seeing a woman reveal that a guy lost custody of his kids on there. Ouch. I get the importance of safety but the group gives off “legal rights and the burden of proof are too inconvenient for me” vibes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 11:54 PM
2

Have you ever seen the group? Last I saw every single post was asking for "tea". Not sure if we're speaking a different language or something but according to Urban Dictionary tea is: the best kind of gossip, typically shared between friends. it’s a bonding tool for people of all ages. tea is usually about someone you know, but can also extend to celebrities random internet scandals, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 11:07 PM
5

I didn’t have my first kiss until college, and it was TWO random attractive women at a 18+ college club back to back in the same night. If you offered me a million dollars to try to get two attractive women to make out with me in a US club today I would not be able to do it. Times have definitely changed. Thankfully unlike most men I was actually able to get some experience with women and escape inexperience. Because of that, I become more socially aware and able to notice when women seem uncomf…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 04:59 PM
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This comes from things like agency bias and unhealthy views of men. If women are encouraged to approach more men and approach with reasonable initial selectivity/standards, more men would grow up with similar experiences to women and, thus, similar perspectives on dating/sex/relationships. Actions speak louder than words. There’s no value in just going “welp that sucks” and just not doing anything when you actually have a lot of power to change things. If women genuinely agree that they have an …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 03:33 PM
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Same here. FWB taught me how to sensually choke and said to do it every time we had sex from now on without asking. Only enjoyment I got out of it was through pleasing her. Thankfully she wasn’t my first sexual experience so I knew other women didn’t like it and never tried to choke other women without asking. I feel like many women demonize porn or men for choking, but I blame women for that. Many women have toxic, antiquated expectations for men to be tall/dominant that influence their prefere…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/24 12:32 PM
4

Ok so suppose you have many female friends now and want to date. If a woman says let’s just be friends, you’re all set in that department already. This gives the illusion that men don’t want to be friends with women but most men already are and they’re not looking for friends, they’re looking for romance or intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:29 PM
0

If you look at single men and single women living alone, their spaces look vastly different. So, I think men and women having different models of home upkeep and housework. For example, a lot of men are happy with efficiency over form, while more women are happy with form over efficiency. Efficiency creates less house work. Women might not count men’s work because they don’t like it, and/or it doesn’t align with their model, and/or it creates more work for them to align it with their model.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 12:26 PM
1

I was very attracted to women like that until I started going on dates with them. Found out that most women like that tend to be vain, narcissistic, and contemptuous. I know it’s wrong to judge a book by its cover but when you have a lot of options and notice a common type, sometimes it’s easier to just avoid it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 02:43 AM
1

Most men value women’s professional and educational accomplishments on top of attractiveness, but not in place of it. Also you act like valuing professional and educational accomplishments is so righteous and noble but those are often just proxies for wealth and status which is a more shallow ulterior motive. The protector-provider norm for men is still very much alive. Women pretend like they’re all about sweet caretaker guys, but many look for that AFTER filtering guys for shallow qualities li…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 02:25 AM
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Start out casual with number 2, wrap it before ya tap it. Or test it before you infest it? Something like that lol. Go on serious dates with 1, 2, & 3. With a clear head from consistent sex and finally actually having a choice for the first time in my life, I could be more picky about their personality and intelligence and stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 02:25 AM
4

I don’t think I’ve ever grown more attracted to a woman over time except when diet/fitness was involved. For diet/fitness I would consider that more of someone growing into a more attractive individual rather than my attraction growing to them (as an unchanged person). That being said, my attraction to a woman’s personality can grow over time but it’s less attraction and more just respect, admiration, or appreciation. For women, however, I think it’s different. I’ve only ever experienced mutual …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 01:49 AM
1

I got banned from AskFeminists while exposing a commenter who claimed that a large percentage of women are non-consensually choked (trying to imply that men are awful) over a series of comments. Not only was the stat blatantly false (it included consensual), but the source study actually found that men reported being non-consensually choked at a higher rate. The straight up lie was getting showered in upvotes (cuz men bad) while my comments of actual logic and reason were being showered in downv…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 01:32 AM
3

My girlfriend showed me Are We Dating The Same Guy and the majority of posts are not actually about dating the same guy. The primary post format was to ask for tea and post a picture of the guy's dating app or social media profile. It's more like a cyber-bullying and social-shaming powered vetting system for men in your city justified by "women's safety". Like there was a post where a woman revealed that a guy had a kid and did not have legal custody... to tens of thousands of women. Ouch.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 04:24 PM
0

Work (out) a ton.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/24 12:59 AM
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There’s a big difference between accepting being alone and choosing to be alone. The former happens more to men and the latter to women. People who choose to be alone are also probably happier because it was a choice. I think this creates a bias where it feels like women are better at accepting being alone because more women are happier, but more of them also had a chance to choose. You’re an outlier in actually experiencing what it’s like to be a below average guy and have the choice of being s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 01:50 PM
4

If women do not confuse their SMV and RMV, then why ever get upset when a very desirable guy that they attracted using SMV is only willing to be with them short term and not long term (RMV)? Getting upset implies that they were confused about it. Just because you grew up learning it exists doesn’t mean you can’t overestimate/conflate your RMV because of all the attention you get through SMV.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 05:19 AM
1

The majority of straight women happily and willingly select for taller men despite them being more physically threatening. Also, lesbian women have less casual sex than gay men so even with the big bad scary men removed from the equation women still have high initial selectivity and sexual inhibition. So, forfeiting strength wouldn’t change anything. There’s no point unless women also trade away their inherent selectivity. Get rid of male strength and women would just scratch that off their list…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 04:16 AM
0

I’m sure that can be communicated in attempt to devalue men, but there should be nothing devaluing about just wanting to have sex. It’s just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 05:19 PM
0

Why is one’s sexual selectivity such a big deal? You’re not marrying them for life, it’s just sex. I think you feed misandry by demonizing sex and sexual selectivity. People who do that are either religious fruitcakes or hate men/women. It’s just a baseless, antiquated pathologization of a simple and basic biological process. Being a sexually selective prude doesn’t make you better or morally superior. Instead of having sex with others you just enjoy jerkin yourself off on your pseudomoral high …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 03:20 PM
1

Based on responses it would seem that the issue isn’t denying this claim, but rather, underestimating the impact it has on the economics of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 11:46 AM
2

And I literally didn’t say anything about seeking casual sex but here we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/24 01:38 AM
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TIL hypergamy means attraction to fitness and childlessness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 06:15 PM
2

Dating around was very helpful for me to (A) not come on to strong to any single person and be able to think rationally and not be desperate; (B) get an idea of what’s out there, who I like, who likes me, and who I work best with; (C) feel reassured and confident that the person I ended up with is great for me based on my experiences rather than constantly wondering what if. Unfortunately as a fairly average guy I did not get a chance to do that until my late 20s because of how most women tend t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 11:55 PM
4

That take implies all men are shit lol. Nothing like some blatant misandry to brighten our day. So here, I’ll raise you another hot take: men devote a lot of focus to looking for sex because it’s so hard to get. It’s rare so if you aren’t constantly looking for it, you’re going to miss out. Women’s high sexual selectivity is a major contributing factor to men constantly looking for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 11:15 PM
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I mean I make more than my girlfriend so we apportion expenses to ensure we can live the same lifestyle together. If a woman makes more and just leaves her boyfriend behind I think that’s a red flag. She drank too much of the modern individualism kool aid and you’re just a side character in her story. If you get in accident or get sick or something she’ll be gone in a heartbeat citing boundaries and mental health.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 05:41 PM
9

I remember one time I was out at a college bar and this really cute woman actually shot her shot on this tall, masculine dude that clearly wasn’t into her. I went up to talk to her but right around the same time she had to go to the bathroom or something so she turned towards me but looked off in the distance and scooted right by me without even acknowledging I exist. Still haunts me to this day. Why did she shoot her shot on that guy but I was completely invisible to her? It’s because he’s conv…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 05:33 PM
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Most bars and clubs are oversaturated. Most single woman there probably have a designated guy friend around to ward off hordes of desperate guys from shooting their shot throughout the night. Or, they’re in a massive group to try to intimidate guys from approaching. While if you go to the bar a lot I’m sure you could get lucky, it’s not really a good time investment unless you’re very tall and attractive and able to reasonably get attention in a shallow setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 03:41 PM
4

I think women have an easier time getting dates and attention which creates more opportunity that can evolve into relationships. However, all the opportunity causes many women to grow increasingly selective. So, while finding a romantic relationship can be comparably difficult for men and women, women have a lot more control over the outcome by not unrealistically jacking up their standards from all the attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 03:34 PM
15

I had a 6’3” roommate that pretty much just worked out, watched sports, and drank/partied. Dude got crazy amounts of attention on dating apps and was very aloof and uninvested because women were so plentiful to him. He would unmatch very attractive women because they didn’t like his sports team. He got tons and tons and tons of attention, dates, and hookups but women would never stick around once they got to know his personality. So, he was just sort of perpetually on dating apps blowing through…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/24 03:28 PM
2

I mean I’m pretty sure an attractive woman that enjoys threesomes and is versatile in bed qualifies for both definitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 03:30 AM
1

They’re not “hating” women having sex. They’re “hating” women having sex with others. That’s because their feelings stem from indignation, not hate. It’s a primal, natural emotion felt even by dogs, monkeys, and other animals.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 03:13 AM
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If you suddenly tell a woman to start approaching, she still has all the socialization of growing up in the current system where men have to approach. The problem isn’t the approaching, it’s the effects of the current system of approaching on standards and perceptions of sex and dating. If women somehow figured out a way to approach normally over time, young men and young women entering the dating market would start having more similar experiences and more similar attitudes on dating. Men might …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 12:05 PM
31

Do people really think the phenomena that manifest on dating apps just magically disappear in real life? They are still around, just harder to quantify and/or observe with research. You can’t see/quantify women mentally swiping left on guys in a bar and women may not be as shallow/savage when they feel like they’re being observed and judged by friends or researchers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:52 PM
1

I've always done the dumping because I'm average. Never got a chance to casually explore because women only considered me if a relationship was involved. So, for a while I went from relationship to relationship like is this what I want? Nope. Is this what I want? Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 01:41 AM
2

The trend is for U.S. -> abroad with a similar trend for Europe -> abroad as well. National Center for Education Statistics, “Number of U.S. Students Studying Abroad and Percentage Distribution, by Sex, Race/Ethnicity, and Other Selected Characteristics: Selected Years, 2000–01 through 2018–19” (January 2021). Lucas Böttcher and others, “Gender Gap in the ERASMUS Mobility Program,” PLoS One (February 2016). Mark H. Salisbury, Michael B. Paulsen, and Ernest T. Pascarella, “To See the World or Sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 11:11 PM
3

I mean I’m no brain scientist but don’t we have ‘older’ parts of the brain like the hypothalamus and ‘newer’ parts like the prefrontal cortex whose development can be seen through skull sizes? The newer parts also deal with less animalistic concepts like language, risk taking, and decision making, while the older parts deal with more animalistic urges like hunger and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 12:11 PM
3

True
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 11:04 AM
8

Women are much more likely to study abroad than men. If the world is truly so awful and dangerous for modern first world women, why are young women so much more comfortable and willing to just send it to some random country? Why do women attempt suicide at higher rates than men, but men succeed at far higher rates than women? Are men just better at it? Or… could there something about society that makes attempting less worthwhile for men? We have about twice as many female ancestors in our DNA th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 04:48 AM
1

I was always the dumper but it had nothing to do with “knowing how to lead” or having an alpha male father or anything like that. Young women were just so extremely initially selective that a woman that might dump me wouldn’t have even given me a chance in the first place. The slightest annoyance in early dating and she gooone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:40 AM
-3

Feminism is literally the science of blaming all your problems on other people: the patriarchy. Stub your toe? Damn patriarchy! If you’re wondering where bitter and resentful men might learn how to blame all their problems on the other gender…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:01 AM
-1

Feminism is so annoyingly autorighteously amorphous. If someone does something good oh yay it’s feminism! But if someone that identifies as a feminist does something bad oh no no that’s not feminism! Just because feminism was associated with good in the past doesn’t mean it can’t perpetuate bad in the present or future. If you hate men, feminism is the THE greatest proxy ever made. Just support the shit outta everything that supports your hatred and oh some part of feminism or gender equality be…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/24 10:30 PM
1

How do you think childfree / single-by-choice women would feel if someone married with kids goes out of their way to let them know how happy they are "to shut down false narratives"? It's highly contextual but there's a big difference between someone being criticized for seeming happy, and someone going out of her way to gloat about how happy they are with or without XYZ.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 07:41 PM
1

Negging happily single women is also being demonized as sour grapes here, so how is that any better?So why do they bother lashing out at women then? How do you think the salty men find out that women are "happily single"? It's because those women are gloating about it online often with a devaluing and contemptuous undertone. If a woman is just happily single and isn't online gloating about it, the salty men literally won't ever know. The men bother lashing out in response to women gloating about…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 04:58 PM
0

Being valued and considered as a potential romantic partner isn't considered a right tho so none of those comparisons equate to the situation. There is no appeal to equality and justice for romantically lonely men because that is demonized as entitlement. They cannot directly "appeal to the judges and explain to them how they’re wrong" because they're just ignored and avoided. So, they retreat and withdraw into the privacy of the internet and then they do go "tell the judges why they're wrong" b…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 03:33 PM
-1

Oh hey gymnastics is a great analogy! Suppose a gymnast works really hard on a great gymnastics routine and executes it flawlessly but the judges deem it awful and unworthy. The gymnast might be tempted to think the judges are wrong and their choices were bad. It’s not mental gymnastics, it’s just psychology. You’re the one doing mental gymnastics here denying that men might just be defending themselves against women’s condemnation, contempt, and devaluation of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 03:58 AM
-2

"Fear of being alone" is just a cynical phrasing of wanting love and companionship. Women tend to find a lot of guys creepy, mediocre, threats, and/or criminals but longing for love and companionship encourages a lot of women to overcome those toxic views of men and actually get to know guys and discover deeper connections and love. Many of the people encouraging women to just be single are motivated by misandry. They hate men and like to stoke the flames of toxic views of men, promoting stereot…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 02:53 PM
2

“Pick me girl” is a derogatory term for bullying founded in misandry. If you hate men, then you hate women who try to appeal to men. So, red pill women get called that for trying to appeal to men but you could also get called a pick me just for being into sports or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/24 11:53 AM
60

Do you ever worry about toilet paper shortages? You can always just run to the store and get some. But at the start of Covid some supply shortages and perceived scarcity started a panic and suddenly everyone needed toilet paper. Young women are very physically desirable so they get a lot of attention right when they hit the dating market. This helps young women become more confident staying single and focusing on other aspects of life. Meanwhile, young men are often seen as immature and inexperi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/24 06:28 PM
1

I’ve never seen a study exploring the influence of women’s feelings of safety on crime… but I’ve read that lesbian women have similar levels of sexual selectivity and sexual inhibition to straight women. So, even with the big bad scary men removed women still hate sex lol. I think there are biological influences that encourage men to exercise enhanced sexual agency and women to exercise enhanced sexual selectivity, but only the extreme form of the former is a crime. There’s less incentive to com…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 07:09 PM
2

It’s hard to experimentally validate hypotheses on human social behavior because such experiments would be unethical. So, there’s always an element of uncertainty, room for critique, and a possible hidden agenda/opinion. For example, studies arguing biological influences and differences in human behavior get critiqued by an unfalsifiable theory that the findings are confounded by socialization. The only way to truly falsify that would be to raise kids in some isolated Siberian camp where we coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/24 01:14 PM
0

Oh wow red flags!? I’m so hurt. You win this debate great job!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 06:18 PM
0

If I am controlling then technically you are attempting to control my tendency to be controlling. You use therapy language like “controlling” or “manipulation” to just condemn and “control” things you don’t like just like anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 06:10 PM
2

Reasoning makes decisions more relatable and understandable and doesn’t necessarily imply disagreement. Sometimes it might be good to know someone’s reasoning like a guy that doesn’t date…. because he hates women. Well that’s not healthy, so knowing the reasoning behind their decision helps provide positive social calibration rather than just isolation and polarization.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:59 PM
0

I actually knew someone that used veganism to mask an eating disorder. They wanted to not eat and starve themselves and figured out that saying you’re vegan eases off on the social pressure. This delayed them from getting the help they needed and they ended up having to get involuntarily hospitalized. Technically that is an extreme case of controlling one’s behavior, but it wouldn’t it have been easier if social pressure was more normalized in such a way that you could pressure and encourage som…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:56 PM
0

But something at some point made you decide you don’t want kids. Maybe it’s the pain? Or not interested in parenting? Or just perception that the cons exceed the pros? Reasoning helps make decisions more relatable and understandable to others. It’s a pretty universal concept like if you’re cancelling on a friend, a reason like “because I feel sick” or something makes the decision a lot more understandable and relatable. We also help socialize and socially calibrate each other. If someone cancels…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 03:50 PM
0

The analogy helps communicate understanding. It seems weird and extreme to just completely forsake something with no exceptions. I think it's more normal and relatable to say you'd be open to kids if XYZ is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 01:22 PM
1

It definitely exists. However, I think the extent to which ED incidence increase with age could be confounded with increasing expectation and likelihood of sex with older women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 12:53 PM
1

I tend to be more likely to find a woman physically attractive than vice versa so there is more likely to be overlap between quality and high physical attractiveness. Furthermore, I tend to find overweight/obese women very unattractive and that’s changeable with motivation and discipline. So, I wouldn’t doubt that these magical AR glasses would recommend overweight women and I’d just shrug and say bummer, if only they cared more about fitness and health.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 12:45 PM
15

One time a woman in college tried to convince me I had erectile dysfunction but my erectile functioned just fine with a more attractive woman. I’m not saying it doesn’t exist, but if I grow old with someone I love that I’m not that physically attracted to anymore, I’d rather just say I have erectile dysfunction than make them feel bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:43 AM
6

It’s like being vegan. No one really minds unless you’re a pretentious snob about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/24 04:28 AM
3

Responsibility of selection mirrors ability to select, and women tend to on average and in general have more ability to select than men. So, women receive asymmetrical accountability for selection mirroring their asymmetrical power of selection. A lot of people couple up or marry by their 30s. As time goes on, the amount of “single for a reason” people grows larger because the decent and attractive people with realistic standards that want relationships are more likely to find one. Regardless, m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/24 01:40 PM
2

There are two solutions to thirst (analogy). You can eliminate/pathologize the thirsty (most common modern solution), or you can encourage the quantity and distribution of the supply of water. Why would the thirsty get mad at others who are also thirsty for being thirsty rather than just try to promote the supply and even distribution of water?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 11:26 PM
1

And there is what? Open-mindedness about how biology can vary independently of arbitrary modern social and legal constructs? There’s a big difference between preying on vulnerable people and being naturally physically attracted to younger women during years of fertility that don’t perfectly coincide with arbitrary social and legal constructs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:36 PM
0

People also used to sacrifice people to the gods, burn people at stakes, or leave weird looking babies out in the wild to see if they’d survive. Men’s attraction to younger women is part cultural and part biological and culture is very different nowadays. 18 is just a number someone pulled out of their ass one day and decided that defines adulthood so obviously it doesn’t exactly mesh with our biology all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:28 PM
0

And you know that not all men, nor only men, romanticize age-gapped relationships with teens?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:14 PM
-1

Maybe the men decided to read women-dominated vampire fiction that tends to romanticize enormous age gaps.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 09:07 PM
3

If you see Rudder’s graphs of men and women’s overall ratings for each other, men’s looks much more balanced in that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/24 08:59 PM
6

Why have friends when you can just watch TV shows and play video games all your life? Have you ever sat down and thought why you need friends? Is it hormones?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/24 06:14 PM
0

For men, don’t say “I’m not looking for anything serious”. Say “I’m open to something serious with the right person but prefer to start out casual”. It’s not disingenuous because if you don’t feel like being in a relationship with them, they aren’t the right person. If you don’t feel like being in a relationship with anyone, you haven’t met the right person yet. For women that partake, be strategic about who you try to use your sexual power over to win commitment. You have way more influence ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 01:45 PM
1

Got pinned against a wall forced kissed by a giant fat girl once. She kissed like a dementor from Harry Potter.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/24 04:30 AM
-3

I think it depends on the context. With the way things are going right now, the future is female. Men are falling behind in educational attainment and many are having their jobs outsourced/automated away. I think stating the future is female helps raise awareness about this and launches discussions on important questions like wait a sec, if the goal is actually equality then why is the future female?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates28/02/24 04:31 PM
1

Bro you also twist everything you read to keep your own views. Hop off the hypocritical moral high horse. The article points out: We also encounter the philosophical problem of where physical attractiveness exists. Physically attractive could mean how others see or rate you. Alternatively, physical attractiveness could be an objective quality like the distance represented by measurements of height. Because those OKCupid data use subjective ratings, they just use a subjective model and conclude I…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 01:58 PM
0

That article just speculates on attractiveness being objective vs subjective and confirms that women perceive men as uglier. If you were to rank all men and all women by their physical attractiveness (as perceived by the opposite gender) then every single woman would be “settling” for a guy slightly less attractive. Men do not “care more about looks”, their subjective perception of female physical attractiveness is distributed in such a way that they can afford to focus on actually including phy…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 12:25 PM
1

Have you ever seen this chart (or the many others like it) comparing men and women’s assessments of each other’s attractiveness? While a man may seemingly care more about looks, he also probably finds more women attractive. If you take an average man and woman and he finds 50% of women attractive and she finds 20% of men attractive, I feel like it’s misleading to point out that “he cares more about looks” when he’s still perfectly willing to date the massive percent of women that he still finds …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/24 03:26 AM
1

It’s almost like the last sentence was intentional? I’m saying people confuse the meaning of hypergamy and get shot down easily in debate. When people say things like “hypergamy is real” what they are really intending to say is “women’s desire for hypergamy is real” because stats show that most women end up with men of comparable status. This could very well be because women care about status but can’t lock down higher status guys so they end up with the best they can get which just happens to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:39 PM
2

I think the idea that “men care more about looks” is a misconception that actually comes from women having generally unrealistic/inflated physical standards of men. Women are less likely to find comparably desirable men attractive so when interacting with comparably desirable, realistically attainable guys, women are perceived as “overlooking looks” rather than having unrealistic physical standards/expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/24 03:31 PM
18

Friendly reminder that hypergamy literally means “marrying for higher status” and not “finds status attractive”. Hypergamy in its literal form is not real because women tend to be most likely to end up with men of “similar status”. However, that doesn’t mean women wouldn’t end up with men of higher status… if they could.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 10:37 PM
1

If someone doesn’t bring you any value, why do you spend any time/energy on them? Every interpersonal relationship is transactional in some way. Even if you scoff at this and say “only assholes treat all interpersonal relationships as transactional”, well… guess what? You’re an asshole too! Your sense of morality and righteousness is part of the transaction for you. Dating and love is no exception. You are assessing the value you think someone would bring you as a potential partner against your …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 10:20 PM
–

Women having more choice is awesome. However, just because women have the right to choose doesn't mean it's impossible for those choices to be made with unrealistic/unhealthy standards and expectations for men. People will eagerly condemn men for having unhealthy standards for women but are more hesitant do so the other way around. The internet and digital world kinda popped up in the last few decades. Are we 100% absolutely sure that all modern dating trends are because women aren't oppressed a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 01:56 AM
5

The first article talks about a study for men 45 and older. If you're having a baby it's probably with a much younger woman so people talk about it indirectly by condemning age gaps. The second article relates it to lifestyle and mentions one can help prevent/slow this by: Eating a healthier, nutrient-rich diet Exercising regularly Quitting smoking Decreasing alcohol consumption So, for most similarly-aged couples women's fertility loss is more associated with age and more of the imminent concer…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/24 12:19 AM
1

I think you have it backwards. To steal from the firefighter example above, the men might already happily be friends with the women, all 2 of them, in their department and appreciate them as a person. They’re all set in the friend’s department so they approach women seeking romance/intimacy based on physical attraction and refuse women offering something other than what they’re looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 11:00 PM
1

It’s not solely for female validation tho. Feeling valued, useful, sense of purpose/belonging is a basic human need for everyone. It’s more like men do things that they feel should make them feel useful and valued, but then women don’t value them for it. Half the problem is over-expecting/over-tying self worth to romance, but the other half is a generalized devaluation of men that manifests in women’s romantic interests to men. You can’t just keep disingenuously telling men they’re “Kenough” whi…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 09:31 PM
1

No, I doubt men wake up and decide “yo dawg ima be a firefighter and get some pussy”. It’s more subtle. They grow up feeling like most of their worth is attached to their career and/or ability to be heroes, exacerbated by the tendency for women to heavily weigh men’s careers / economic viability for their romantic worth and marriageability. Most men just want to feel useful, valued, and a sense of purpose and belonging and they are subtly led into associating good/heroic actions and “usefulness”…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:51 PM
2

According to indeed, volunteer firefighters, the vast majority of which are men, make $17 an hour. Good luck affording all those grown up toys with that. So, no, there are other force ls driving men into that field, one of which is heroic disposability. The mostly male volunteer firefighters get compensated by being treated like heroes for subjecting themselves to high occupational risk for shit pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 08:19 PM
1

Suppose I was an overweight 5/10 guy with imperfect teeth and skin. If I would happily be with an 8/10 woman but an only willing to consider comparably overweight 5/10 imperfect women based on their economic viability, I would consider my physical standards to be unrealistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 05:14 PM
2

I don’t have unrealistic physical standards for women that need to be overcome with and compensated by economic viability.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 03:52 PM
4

Boys grow up seeing media where the heroes and nice guys get the girl. When puberty hits and boys start obsessing over girls, boys think “well hey maybe if I do hero/nice things I will get the girl”. This is a great propaganda mechanism for society because it drives boys to do good things like, for example, grow up and do all the dangerous, dirty, hard-labor jobs that don’t appeal to women. Heroic disposability. Without any incentives or rewards, why risk your life doing dangerous work when you …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 02:13 PM
6

Would you say that having access to birth control, plan B, and abortions (where church and state are more separate) has caused women to “open up more” and influenced the dating market?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/24 01:44 PM
5

The double standard on sexual judgement comes from asymmetry in sexual access. If that asymmetry ceased to exist, so too would the asymmetrical stigma. Would I want to be in the same position? Of fucking course! It’s great for exploration, discovery, and maturity. I spent most of my dating life a phase or two behind women because they had access to casual sex and got past that phase while I got left behind. Had to catch up by being a serial monogamist rather than just being able to explore in a …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:51 PM
1

This theory depends on sexual size dimorphism which came to be because men have had to compete with each other for access to sex and reproduction since the dawn of time. If women exercise their selectivity in a manner that stops contributing to sexual size dimorphism like not being obsessed with height, eventually it would cease to exist and so too would the idea that men could collectively overpower women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/24 01:41 PM
1

If everyone says they are "dating up" then technically 50% of people have to be "dating down".
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 09:43 PM
0

You said the term "incognito" which is Google Chrome's term for it. Firefox and Safari is "Private browsing" but Safari uses Chromium under the hood anyways. Also that's not a "search engine" it's a browser.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 08:21 PM
3

...which I'm smart enough to watch incognito. Google settles $5B privacy lawsuit over tracking people using ‘incognito mode’ Also from Chrome's incognito mode disclaimer: Your activity might still be visible to: - Websites you visit - Your employer or school - Your internet service provider
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 08:06 PM
7

https://www.pornhub.com/insights/extreme-categories (sadly deleted/censored so here's an archival view) Just as we found in our 2017 Year in Review, women are far more likely to view Rough Sex videos than men. Our latest data shows that proportionately, women are 63% more interested in the Rough Sex category. Once again it’s millennials aged 18 to 34 who are more likely to view Rough Sex videos I don't think Pornhub's statisticians are liars or idiots but if you believe that you should go tell t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 08:04 PM
46

It’s not specifically devised to limit their chances, it’s devised to benefit women. I’m trying to think of a good word for it. Maybe advice astroturfing? Strategic misrepresentation? The main goal of the advice in your example is to reduce unwanted sexual solicitations and advances for women, not actually to help the men with dating. The whole reason dating asymmetry exists is because of general differences between men and women. You’re allowed to be instantly sexually attracted to women but fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/24 05:32 PM
1

The opposite of ‘guy’ is ‘gal’ but I think ‘girl’ is often used instead. I grew up with little girl / girl / young woman / woman / old woman = little boy / guy / young man / man / old man. So the word “girl” to me was always just an opposite of guy. “There’s a guy in my class”. “There’s a girl in my class”.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 05:15 AM
2

What is a non-countryish sounding, modernly used opposite of the word guy? And opposite of man?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 04:42 AM
3

What is a non-countryish sounding, modernly used opposite of the word guy? And opposite of man?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 04:42 AM
0

Imagine guys A, B, C who are actively dating. For now, let’s assume they’re all looking for something serious. A is an average mature guy. B is an immature, top 20 percenter. C is a mature, top 20 percenter. In shallow, options-saturated modern dating, women are more likely to swipe on / engage with / notice guys B & C. Over time, guy C is more likely to get taken off the market which leaves guy A and guy B behind. However, women still purposefully interact with guy B at higher frequency only to…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/24 04:31 AM
–

especially when it challenges a perceived status quo extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence How do you know your argument is the status quo? By placing the burden of proof on someone else you implicitly make a claim that your view is the status quo and they are challenging. Also if someone makes a claim that X is true, you are also making a claim that X is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/24 03:33 AM
3

I think the most addressable issue is initial filters, not standards. Unrealistic initial filters can definitely be tweaked in therapy. I don’t think you can, nor should you, try to lower standards that are already realistic. You can address unhealthy and unrealistic standards though.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 07:18 PM
1

I bet if you did a blind study where women ranked/selected men without knowing their age, women would naturally prefer an age gap that’s higher than expected. I also think that if you did that experiment with an age-known and age-unknown group, the former would bias their preferred age due to societal stigma of age gaps.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 09:48 PM
1

Actions speak louder than words. You can refuse to excuse whoever all you want but they’re going to go get radicalized and vote against you nonetheless. Or… you could actually advance a model of equality that makes both men and women happy and makes compromises for maximum total benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/24 12:12 AM
1

Umm do you have any stats or supporting evidence to support the claim you’re making right now?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 12:17 PM
1

The phenomena influencing dating apps don’t magically disappear in real life. They’re just harder to quantify and observe. What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex with a Stranger?.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 03:13 AM
3

Do you think baby boys pop out of their mother's womb and immediately tweet #repealthe19th? If not, what do you think causes men to fall into that? Or more specifically, who do you think young men encounter negative experiences with that causes them to turn to that crowd?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 02:29 AM
1

What was taken away from women in the past century? You’re only allowed to be unhappy if something is “taken away?” No…You can also just be unhappy with the way things are like social/societal biases unfairly enjoyed by others. One example of this bias is you. You see something like the article in OP’s post and your first response is “This must be men’s fault in some way. Men bad. Men entitled. If women unhappy it society but if men unhappy it men!” Feminism has been around for so long that the …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 01:32 AM
21

How is it “equality” if a bunch of men are unhappy. Shouldn’t “equality” mean equally catering to men and women such that they are equally happy? Also the narrative that men are upset about their loss of power is hilariously stupid. Young men today were born into “equality”. They are unhappy about the gynocentric gender dynamics they were born into being labeled as “equality”, not some loss of power they never had.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 12:21 PM
1

The book has section called "getting out there" with chapters on online dating and how to meet people IRL. However, I don't remember specifics about the contents of those very well because it's been a while. My memory isn't the most accurate reflection of the entirety of the book. I do, however, remember thinking when I read it that the advice was more tailored for women (who tend to have an easier time getting dates). I think this is because Logan was motivated by her own personal lessons from,…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 12:15 AM
0

I don't think she ever said to go on multiple dates per week. You should try to go on second and third dates with someone though. Other applicable advice I recall includes: Don't procrastinate dating just because you feel like your financial situation isn't perfect. You don't have to be perfect to start dating Focus on dating experientially, not evaluatively. The goal is to have fun and see how someone makes you feel, not interview them. Her advice makes it clear that it's pointless to try to dr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 11:47 PM
–

Online dating feeling like interviewing tends to relate to women dating evaluatively. Women get so many options that they start coming up with a literal checklist of criteria for their ideal perfect man that turns dates into a monotonous series of failed interviews of men failing to live up to their artificially created expectations. You have to relax the initial expectations and focus on having fun on a series of dates in different environments/settings and seeing how someone makes you feel, no…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:44 PM
–

A well-watered garden knows no thirst. Women teachers, social workers, etc. don’t feel the need to “be rewarded” because attention from men is already plentiful. Also, there are a lot of unattractive high-earning women that complain about men not liking them for various reasons and that’s literally the same sense of entitlement men get condemned for repackaged into a more socially-acceptable women-are-wonderful men-bad package.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:16 PM
0

I disagree. I think a lot of the advice can easily be applied to different financial situations and on or off dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 09:00 PM
–

Increased options generally relates to increased difficulty in choosing an option in many domains. There’s research to back the idea that self-perceived attractiveness and/or having many options influences willingness to commit. This may relate to why average-height guys are the most successful reproductively compared to men of other heights when controlling by education and income. By “successful reproductively” they mean having children. Average-height guys are willing to commit, get married, …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 08:54 PM
0

I'm a big fan of Logan Ury. She's a behavioral psychologist that worked with Dan Ariely at Irrational Labs so she got a solid foundation in the behavioral economics, psychology and actual science of dating and finding love. At some point along the way she got into dating coaching and became the Director of Relationship Science at Hinge. She wrote a book that's a little bit sensationally named, How to Not Die Alone, but it has a a lot of great advice. I trust and respect her research-backed advic…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 06:52 PM
2

I spent much of my young dating life seeking casual sex just because it was so hard to get and seemed rare and valuable. I wasn't able to actually start having casual sex with women I found attractive until a few years after college. I did, however, have some sexually active "awkward explorational relationships" because that's pretty much your only way to explore as young average guy. A few years after college I had a very attractive random woman come over off Tinder and it was... awkward. I did…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 05:34 PM
–

I remember seeing the political divide thing posted in the GenZ subreddit and the top comment was from a 38 year old (cough astroturfer cough cough) blaming toxic masculinity (men). I've definitely encountered 'toxically masculine' men but I've encountered far more women with toxic and unrealistic expectations of men and masculinity. For example, one of my girlfriend's friends thought I was unmasculine and unnattractive just because I'm average in height and dance as a hobby lol. Encouraging wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 05:07 PM
1

Feminism is a movement seeking gender “equality” through the advancement of women’s issues. If women give birth and men cannot, what is the “equivalent”? How do you define “equality” - statistical gender parity in everything? What if men and women have a natural inclination to enjoy different things such that there will never be complete universal gender parity? The point is that “equality” is open for interpretation and debate, and blindly advancing only women’s side of things is an antiquated …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 12:00 AM
1

The hunger and grocery shopping while hungry analogies made by others here are pretty good. Why make a pill to lower your appetite when you can just eat? Orgasms also have a ton of proven health benefits that you wouldn’t get if you just took some pill to get rid of the urge.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 06:35 AM
2

You just said this in an earlier comment: Sure. But I wasn't wondering about WHY PNC happens... You also stated your personal opinion of “it seems like it’d be terrible to CONSTANTLY have cloudy thinking because of sexual urges” which suggests a preconceived belief that you seek to confirm. And your final question was why hasn’t big pharma found a way to “bottle” PNC. Soo what exactly are you trying to ask/understand?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 02:42 AM
4

Pickings are slim for a lot of men and not paying is a negative signal to a lot of women. Guys sort of have to just pay because an imperfect opportunity is better than nothing. If women were encouraged to have more realistic standards for men and approach men more, men would finally start being more able to be picky about things like paying. It’s a power dynamic that goes to those with the most options which is women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 09:18 PM
5

If you’re hungry you can just go get food. If you’re horny you can just go masturbate. Your “question” is just a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You’re trying to imply that men’s horniness is a problem that impairs judgement and should be medicated away because you’d rather advocate for that than for just having a healthy view of men and sex, god forbid.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/24 09:03 PM
–

If a man adds to his body count with an attractive woman it’s often perceived as a victory/conquest, not a lack of self-control, because of the asymmetry in ease of access. Which do you think is more special: a poor person finally buying their first home after working a decade for it, or someone born rich buying their fifth rental property from mommy and daddy’s trust fund? Difficulty and rarity adds value and current sexual dynamics create sexual scarcity for a lot of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 09:35 PM
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My girlfriend can walk into the nearest bar and immediately get laid with a physically above average man. Meanwhile, I would be lucky to have at least one physically above average woman acknowledge I exist and might be able to get laid if I hit on women at the bar every day for months. As long as asymmetry in access to sex exists, so too will the asymmetrical stigma.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 08:39 PM
1

I think it’s okay to be attracted to healthy and active lifestyles, discipline, impulse control, and motivation and to recognize and use trends in how those qualities tend to be reflected by one’s body. I don’t think it’s okay to just blindly filter out anyone based on a number though. You might still be attracted to a woman that weighs a little more because healthy lean mass tends to be denser.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 06:54 PM
1

Based on my experience, women have a Goldilocks zone of expectations for masculinity. Not too much, not too little, just right. Women adore men with some masculinity, especially height or career attainment, that gets balanced out in other ways like emotional vulnerability. However, if you’re already at a fairly normal and average level of masculinity and then also try to be emotionally vulnerable, boom. Suddenly you’re not man and unattractive in many women’s eyes. Many women will still happily …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 11:24 PM
4

Correlation doesn’t prove causation. I would assume that socially isolated men are more likely to meet someone and get married over the idea that marrying women causes men to gain friends. Based on everyone I know, marriage tends to cause people to lose friends in general because you “settle down” and priorities change away from going out all the time. So, I think the fact that women become more socially isolated while married is the norm and the inverted trend for men occurs because socially di…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/01/24 07:58 PM
2

Women’s orgasm is a biological commitment test. It encourages women to partner with men who are more invested in them rather than just getting bred by tall, dominant, patriarchal guys. The evolutionary advantage came through better parental investment leading to more successful offspring.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/23 03:32 PM
–

Men’s antiquated preferences for women are demonized as misogyny. Women’s antiquated preferences for men are empowered and celebrated as a preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/23 12:02 PM
6

I think men and women have equal magnitudes of sexual desire to sexually attractive individuals, but women have higher innate inhibitions/selectivity such that they are less likely to find an individual instantly sexually attractive. The existence of the asymmetry exacerbates itself. For example, I think it creates a sort of anxious-avoidant loop for sex where women, already mildly avoidant of sex, cause men to become more anxious about obtaining and finding sex because it’s so hard to get, whic…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:51 PM
1

It’s probably because women are about 6-7X more likely to value a guy for protector-provider qualities over caretaker qualities. If women do happen to care about men being caretakers, many often just tack it onto antiquated protector-provider expectations for things like height or attainment. The majority of men lacking desirable protector-provider qualities don’t have much incentive to become good family caretakers and fathers when most women would rather just be single than “settle” for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/23 07:20 PM
2

There’s conflicting factions of feminism: choice feminism vs egalitarian feminism. When it comes to antiquated protector-provider norms for men, choice feminism encourages women to care about those antiquated norms “as a choice” arguing that the goal of feminism is to empower women’s choice, even if those choices might perpetuate harmful gender norms. Egalitarian feminism, however, would pressure women to stop evaluating men by antiquated norms just as men have been pressured to do so for women.…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/23 06:20 PM
6

In the past half century, we have done a good job socializing men to be proud of wives and daughters with full-time careers; we have done a poor job socializing women to be proud of husbands and sons who are full-time dads. And that's a problem. Excerpt from The Boy Crisis by Dr. Warren Farrel and Dr. John Gray.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 06:10 PM
18

My grandpa married my grandma who was very beautiful in her youth but she gave up on trying to be healthy later in life. They slept in separate beds and just tolerated each other. He was pressured to never ever leave her as a “good Christian man” and was expected to be her faithful servant until she died from obesity related complications. Over the years she lost her mobility and stopped being able to cook and clean so he did everything. He cooked for her, bathed her, provided for her, shopped f…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/23 04:53 PM
7

The idea that men are privileged has been around for so long that it’s pretty much a cultural norm at this point. This creates a harmful cognitive bias where people always assume that women are victims and seek to confirm that bias. When men face issues, on the other hand, it gets invalidated with quotes like “if you’re used to privilege a loss of privilege can feel like being disadvantaged” and often blamed collectively or individualistically on men. For example, when more men than women were g…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/23 04:09 PM
10

The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the boys teeth are set on edge. Modern men's real and valid problems can be easily invalidated and dismissed due to hatred of a past they played no part in.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/23 11:21 PM
1

Oo can you send the Business Insider link? I want to see!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 09:09 PM
18

According to the Survey Center on American Life men in 1990 seemed to report having larger numbers of close friends than women. Both men and women experienced declines from 1990 to 2021 but men's decline was steeper. For those eager to blame absolutely everything on men, I doubt there were any significant cultural shifts for conservatism or ‘toxic masculinity’. If anything, those probably decreased. The only thing that has increased culturally is feminism and women’s empowerment. So, I think mal…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 02:38 PM
4

Can we finally start talking about how men face systemic misandry yet or nah
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/23 01:09 PM
1

You don’t actually have to lie. Just use the individualistic “you don’t owe anybody anything” mindset and “follow your feelings”. Just tell yourself that you’re willing to commit to a person that feels right. When you meet someone you have to give them a genuine chance and go through the motions of trying to fall in love and assuming they’re the one. If, at any point, you feel like it’s not going to work, just end it. If you feel bad just remind yourself “you don’t owe them anything” so you can …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 01:14 PM
6

Right but if you aren’t willing to at least go on a date with someone how will you ever discover more than looks?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 03:27 AM
8

If you're ever watching something like Bachelor in Paradise with friends (both men and women), ask them to each to write down who they'd be willing to go on a date with after one episode. Keep in mind that all of the contestants are usually physically very above average. The men's lists will be much much larger.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 12:59 AM
3

Sometimes you can really admire and love someone but they still think lowly of themselves. Sometimes you could think someone is super vile and undesirable and yet they think super highly of themselves. There is definitely a notion of self-perceived worth that can vary independently of external validation and valuation. However, I agree invalidating people’s feelings with “oh you need to love yourself more” is dumb. I think this often gets directed at men who tend to have a harder time than women…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 07:15 PM
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If I’m going to drop hundreds of dollars a month on dates, might as well get a quick fuck out of it every once in a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 04:28 AM
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When you hear about the loneliness epidemic, is your first reaction to demonize it as forcing people to have friends? Call it oppression by extroverts? Condemn people wanting friends for having a sense of entitlement to friendship? People have a natural desire for friendship and belonging and you can help satiate that without forcing anyone to do anything. All you have to do is just actually acknowledge it's an issue and start researching ways to encourage people to naturally and organically for…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/23 04:55 AM
2

You: You had me until height preferences. That's not controllable. It's just biology. "giving men access to sex is a public health issue" This sounds a bit rapey. It is not "borderline rapey" to consider something a public health issue. You don't instantly demonize the loneliness public health issue as "forcing people to have friends" because you don't have the same underlying pathologization for "loneliness" as you do for sexual desire and healthy gender relations. As a matter of fact, I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/23 01:21 AM
-1

If “loneliness” is made a public health issue are you just as eager to immediately demonize it as forcing people to do things? That’s not what it’s about at all, and sex as a public health issue similarly wouldn’t involve forcing anyone to do anything. People are so quick to demonize it because of pathologization of men and sex. No one’s entitled to friends, hope you realize that. Yet, loneliness is still considered a public health issue. There are ways to fix and address that without forcing an…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 07:00 PM
1

Well one could argue that men’s strong sexual attraction to women is biological which would mean that hating men for that is sexism and giving men access to sex is a public health issue. Rather, feminists argue that socialization by the patriarchy plays a male role. If that’s true, then women’s attraction to tall men is also 100% patriarchy. Why only stigmatize and socialize away one of those, why not both per gender equality?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 01:18 PM
3

A better way to describe it might be something like expectations-deviating submissive stigmatization / male-sexuality receiver stigmatization and they’re both factors at play manifesting in different ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 01:05 PM
13

The same stigma applies to submissive men that like getting pegged which doesn't involve any 'tainting' from a man/penis. I think a better term for that is submissive stigmatization, not misandry or misogyny. Women often perpetuate this stigma when they pathologize sex and equate it to being used by men which demeans women's role in sex. This is simultaneously misandristic and misogynistic so I think it's more accurate just to label it submissive stigmatization. In addition to that, I think a lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/23 04:48 AM
89

Women get pressured to not expect the perfect man. Men get pressured to not expect anything. Since men at the top in power have zero issues with dating/sex, women love to take out their hated of the patriarchy on all the men who aren’t in power.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/23 05:04 PM
3

I don't think you'd need to do this if you encourage young women to have realistic physical standards for their fellow young men. Young men would grow up with a dating experience closer to women's where sex/attention is plentiful but a romantic connection is not. They would grow up more experienced with women, more understanding of women, more socialized by women, more like women, and more likely to have preferences similar to women. They would enter a dating market actually getting attention an…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/23 04:38 AM
6

You said men hardly ever complain. I gave a reason why. I’d be happy to read you your own comment if you’d like.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:35 AM
1

So you support recording people in public?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:34 AM
4

Is recording people in public without their consent and publicly shaming them polite?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:29 AM
5

I said that. Just now. Just like you said things prior. That’s kinda how debate works.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:22 AM
3

Okay so it’s wrong to control where people look?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:21 AM
6

It’s just incredibly exhausting as a man to be perceived as a threat everywhere you go and then, to top that off, have that perception used as weapon against you.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:12 AM
3

I mean I would also stare at someone recording me thinking wtf are they recording me?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:10 AM
5

So you think anyone should be able to control others if they make them feel uncomfortable?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/23 12:02 AM
4

Ok so what if a woman wearing super provocative clothing makes a man feel uncomfortable? Is his discomfort treated equally?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:35 PM
2

My body, my choice (of where I can look).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 08:26 PM
2

Pretty soon men will have to wear the wings (blinder hats) from The Handmaid’s Tale. I’m sorry for not diverting my gaze my benevolent child giving overlord. Please don’t get me cancelled. Blessed be the fruit.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 06:40 PM
1

Well if it’s a phone how do I know if they’re actually filming me if I can’t see the screen? It would be awkward to confrontationally ask someone to stop filming you only for them to say they aren’t. Yikes. Best solution is to just stare to let them know you think they’re filming and that’s weird. If I then get posted on social media and crucified for being a creep, I can’t control people being stupid, lacking critical thinking, being a misandrist, or jumping to conclusions.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 06:26 PM
3

Seeming unconfident on a date speaks to one’s inability to be disingenuous. A person good at being disingenuous will have an easier time feigning confidence. If you’re referring to someone becoming unconfident during a date because they seem disingenuous, I think that is actually the fault of a woman for having false preconceived notions. By assuming a guy is disingenuous, the woman becomes hypersensitive to evidence that confirms her beliefs and not as sensitive to evidence against. So, she end…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 06:11 PM
1

I mean I think it’s weird to be filmed. If someone started randomly filming me in public I’d prob stare at them until they stopped. It’s not a lack of social IQ it’s more of a why tf are you filming me? In that case I am purposefully staring to silently communicate “I see you filming me so I’m going to stare at you and make you feel uncomfortable until you stop”. If someone interprets me as a creep without full context that’s their problem, not mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 05:58 PM
3

Right but in other aspects of society we tend to be more accepting of a lack of confidence. Like it’s okay to be a little nervous and unconfident at a new job that you’re still learning. We don’t extend that normalization of normal nervousness and inconfidence to dating. Instead, we empower and encourage toxic expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 02:04 PM
4

Yes according to behavioral psychologist and dating coach Logan Ury, your expectations going into a date can influence the outcome. So, she encourages a pre-date “ritual” to try to be open minded. If women go into a date expecting it to be bad, they may be hyperaware of minor bad things and not as aware of the good things. What you are describing is an example of how women’s preconceived notions of how a date will go can impact the outcome of the date.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 02:00 PM
25

Confident guys are successful because successful guys are confident. Attraction to confident men is just a euphemism for being attracted to attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/23 03:38 AM
55

I disagree with The idea of a society-level men's issue is a direct threat to the core feminist ideal behind their patriarchal theory - that men have all the power I don't think you realize how truly amorphous the term "patriarchy" is. For example, from AskFeminists' wiki: When discussing patriarchy, it is important to remember that you are discussing a culture, a set of societal expectations and rules that govern how men and women act Men's loneliness being a society-level issue does not challe…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/12/23 02:25 AM
6

Oh I agree with you. I’m trying to say that it’s okay to use personal anecdotes including discussing general trends implied from your experiences. It’s dumb tho to invalidate someone’s general experiences by pointing out a single exception.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 11:32 PM
7

I think this is related to the generalization derailing problem. People love to point out a single counter example (often themselves) to derail general discussion. In this case, it’s pointing out the lack of a single supporting example from one’s own perspective and experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 09:32 PM
58

I have never seen that before so it must not be happening OP. Checkmate. #debated
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 06:24 PM
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Wow it’s almost like average men are having trouble or something. I wonder why that is? But also there’s like 124k members of this sub and there were only 294 responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 04:16 PM
4

You are advocating for choice or “pick and choose” feminism. Pressuring women to not be hypocritical and ignore their half of feminism is not misogyny. If you subtract caring for men and accountability for women from feminism, which alleges to be about gender equality, then you just get misandry and women’s supremacy. To your point tho, it’s unrealistic to expect complete gender parity in all aspects. A lack of statistical gender parity does not imply a lack of equality. Many women willingly and…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/23 03:42 PM
3

Which is why it’s okay to feel uncomfortable but you can’t persecute people just for existing and looking at you.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 09:42 PM
5

I think that you can’t control the social IQ of every man on earth, nor the fact that men are attracted to women. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable about catching stares from gross low social IQ men but I think a lot of it is natural and beyond women’s control. They’re just mesmerized by your attractiveness. When women struggle with issues like that beyond their control, we tend to paint it as societal issues that women are a victim of. Men, on the other hand, tend to get individualistically blame…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 03:12 PM
3

So if height difference just comes from it being natural, why do men and women's height preferences tend to be different? One does not just naturally gravitate to unnatural height preference. There's obviously more to it than just the existence of the natural difference. As of 2017, 81% of U.S. adults 25+ with <= HS education still believe in the male provider norm compared to 72% with some college experience and 62% with a 4-year degree (these figures include men too). According to a study by A…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 01:24 AM
2

Men tend to prefer less height difference than women, and women tend to prefer a height difference far exceeding what's natural. So there's a lot more to it than just "women prefer height cuz genetics". Women statistically end up with men of similar socioeconomic status because they can't get men of higher status and refuse to date men of lower status so they settle for the best they can get which is roughly equal. Men feel the need to claim credit for building the world to counteract all the ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 01:10 AM
0

Height is a protector quality and women still heavily judge men by it. Income / educational attainment is a provider quality and women still heavily judge men by it. Many women just tack “equal caretaker” on top of the antiquated male protector-provider norm. Any attempt to discourage women to stop using the protector-provider norm and have more realistic and modern standards for men gets demonized and derailed. Speaking of things outdated, men today get penalized for a past they took zero part …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 12:32 AM
3

So you’re saying young men don’t struggle with dating at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 10:46 PM
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The nature vs nurture debate seems to mysteriously change in whatever way most benefits women. We aren’t gorillas. Our attraction is not exclusively biological. We’ve been socializing boys to find tall/dominant/intelligent/successful/muscular women more attractive but we haven’t been socializing women to find shorter/submissive/lower-attaining guys as attractive. The latter is demonized as “settling” and not addressed out of restitution for a past that men today played no part in. Rather than di…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 09:14 PM
2

Speaking from experience growing up as a cardio-fit average-height guy with average looks, cardio-fit average-height women with average looks were considered “out of my league”. I tended to get matched up with overweight women that weren’t similar to my own body type or lifestyle. I wasn’t wasting time looking out of my league, I just got unfairly put into a lower league until later in life. Unsurprisingly, when women in my league finally started giving me attention I found a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 08:43 PM
3

Sure it goes both ways, but the statistics on initial selectivity in dating suggests it applies mostly to women. Men’s initial selectivity is already pretty low in general so men should be encouraged/enabled to be more selective. I think encouraging women to be less initially selective encourages the opposite of men because men actually start being able to get some options and become more choosy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 07:10 PM
1

I answered it. I think it’s cultural. We’ve stopped pumping people with unrealistic expectations for love.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 05:00 PM
10

I think it’s a fact that many men are starting to only experience women through porn and only fans. I think it’s a fiction that this is entirely the fault of men. Men aren’t getting realistic experiences with real women because they face barriers to doing so that don’t get addressed or even acknowledged as an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 02:34 PM
1

The key to relationship happiness is people being able to love and appreciate a realistically attainable partner. Disney is an example disruptor of this. The options saturated digital age is another. It’s harder for women to appreciate a guy when he seems more ordinary and average amongst all the options. It’s not her realizing she’s unhappy as you say. The disruptor is what leads to the unhappiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 02:32 PM
1

Disney has stopped telling women that they'll fall instantly and magically in love with their Prince Charming and live happily ever after because that's not how real love works. Real long term love and commitment actually takes work and effort and has ebbs and flows.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 02:19 PM
1

Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 01:08 PM
2

10000 is an exaggeration. The point is just that high group size dating environments inflate selectivity. I also agree that women may grow jaded and finally start having realistic standards. However, it’s sad that women usually can’t appreciate the guy they end up with without having to spend years getting used for sex and trying to lock down hotter guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 01:02 PM
2

I just told you the stat that only 11% of couples experience love at first sight. Initial attraction can change. Attraction =/= quality and initial attraction =/= love. A lot of women struggle with finding quality because they’re filtering out the 89%.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 12:58 PM
4

Men tend to have an easier time being quickly attracted to women, hence the mass divide in dating app selectivity. Men’s initial selectivity is fine, maybe even too permissive. Women’s initial selectivity is the highest and most susceptible to inadvertently filtering out quality and romantic opportunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 04:23 AM
2

Or, a well-watered garden knows no thirst. Women were naturally attracted to the leaders because it helped ensure the success and proliferation of their offspring. So, the men at the top never had to worry about their libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/23 01:36 AM
50

We wouldn’t be here today.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 11:05 PM
7

Well suppose for a moment that women are, hypothetically, attracted to only 20% of men. Since attraction =/= quality, this would mean that there are a ton of quality men in the 80% category. One could also assume that attractive quality men would be more likely to get taken than attractive non quality men. So in this hypothetical situation, the women would end up encountering a lot of low quality attractive men within the 20% and might be tempted to think that all men are low quality when it’s a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 10:37 PM
17

Imagine you take every happy couple today and create an alternate dimension where they met 10000 similar versions of their person. All the "loving, supporting, cheering, lusting and desiring" goes out the window because now their special person seems mediocre and average. Well, the digital age has a similar effect for men. It creates a saturated market environment that causes women to not appreciate men they might've appreciated before in a less-saturated dating environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 10:23 PM
21

So you're saying women could get more quality by being more realistic about the attraction part! Finally someone gets it!!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 10:08 PM
1

College-educated women are more likely to get married despite having the greatest degree of economic power and independence. It's not that women's desires have changed This is the issue. Encouraging women to change their antiquated standards for men is conflated with counteracting women's 'liberation' from men. Women aren't being encouraged to love and appreciate modern men. An academically-high-attaining, successful, muscular, dominant woman will have a lot more dating success today than a more…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 08:29 PM
3

I personally prefer women that know what they’re doing but don’t have a vastly different lifestyle or level of experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 01:16 PM
7

Imagine you're trying to buy your first car. You've saved up tens of thousands of dollars. Buying is a major decision and you definitely don't want to dive into anything. You also don't really know what's out there, or exactly what you want yet. You need some time to do your research, drive different cars and get a feel for what's out there and what works best for you before you ultimately settle on something good. However, you start going to dealers and they aren't eager to let you test drive a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 01:35 AM
2

Speaking from experience, you feel equated to fat chicks as a skinny average guy because that’s where 99% of your attention comes from. If you happen to like fat chicks then you’re probably not on here complaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 09:14 PM
1

Two words: Muscle mommy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 08:31 PM
2

Keep in mind that “I think women should be able to vote” and “I think marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice” are both technically feminist views. What you are describing is more accurately described as women’s rights. One can critique feminism or feminist views without being against women’s rights or equality. I strongly believe in equal expectations of childcare. There’s tons of research on the importance of fathers so I’m against any attempts to try to eliminate the need…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 05:39 PM
27

The journal it was published in was also a feminist journal We investigated ourselves and found no wrong doing!
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/11/23 02:34 AM
2

Men are losing motivation across the board. Even men who are in college are about half as likely to study abroad as women. The gap in women's college attainment over men was as high in 2019 as it was for men over women in 1972. Yet, we still disproportionately empower women and treat men like it's still 1972. Perhaps it’s because boys today have to deal with shit like this: Schoolboys Forced to Apologize to Female Classmates on Behalf of Their Gender. Or growing up in an error dubbed The End of …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 05:02 PM
2

What happened to the one earlier this year?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/23 03:01 PM
4

Ok well you’re about a decade or two behind the feminists who gave up trying to disprove men’s higher biological sex drive and changed gears to arguing that socialization controls the manner and extent to which it manifests. So you can brainwash socialize the manifestation of men’s biologically higher sex drive away in boys and boom, problem solved. The biology has nothing to do with women’s upper hand which is social and cultural. Feminism has engrained the cultural idea that men’s biology is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 05:27 PM
4

The only reason? There’s much much more to it than that. Both men and women have evolutionary and biological mismatch with modern society. The problem is that feminism painted societal constructs stemming from arbitrary echoes of evolution as nefarious machinations of “the patriarchy” which has culturally engrained itself as misandry. Thus men’s biological mismatches are all viewed as problems of men and caused by men that need to be “socialized away” or whatnot, while women’s biological mismatc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/23 04:32 PM
1

You’ve probably seen even when earnings are similar, husbands spend more time on paid work and leisure, while wives devote more time to caregiving and housework right? Well they also asked when it comes to [men/women], do you think American society values the contributions they make [at home / in the work place] more these days. 55% of men and 44% of women thought that society values home and work contributions equally for women. However, only 37% of men and 34% of women thought the same of men.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 09:11 PM
23

All of my guy friends are college-educated and make over 6 figures and dating is still extremely tough. I think social media and the digital age just make women pickier. Women’s dating behavioral economics scale differently than men’s. Today a woman will get showered in attention from tons of comparably desirable guys which causes her to inflate her standards and find all of them mediocre.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/23 01:05 PM
2

It's okay to say that men are a little more innately aggressive. We have biological differences, women give birth and men cannot. We start out by default as women and testosterone starts the formulation of male stuff (and can stop midway). However, yes, we're not animals and our biology interacts with our society, culture, and upbringing in highly complex ways. The fear of admitting biological truths stems from societal shaming of biology, especially men's biology today, and distracts us from pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 11:59 PM
2

It's frustrating because the definition of feminism seems amorphous. I will see many self-proclaimed feminists advocating for misandry, but whenever critiqued, feminism morphs into something different and more noble. I think a lot of men's spaces are condemned for misogynists within, but feminist spaces are immune to critique from misandry within. I usually just use the word 'feminism' to describe it because I feel like it's the primary platform through which misandry can be proxied today. It wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 10:12 PM
1

Feminism is the dominant force in progressive politics. In a democracy you need to form a coalition of interests to drive policy. By not giving a shit about men’s issues, feminists drive men to the right. It’s not about “mommying”, daddy’s got a vote too honey.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 10:02 PM
–

Well we’ve gone from the right to vote to manspreading so what’s stopping from feminists from just continuing to advance women’s issues past the point of equality?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:39 PM
1

You said women are “more likely than young men with a degree to marry someone without one”. That is misleading per my reasoning stated above.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:34 PM
4

The EQUALITY part it was branded with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:31 PM
2

Women aren’t subordinate to elite men. They are attracted to and choose elite men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:11 PM
2

See this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/RZUfX8jPka
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:10 PM
8

Who do you think is more likely to end up in jail in society, the oppressors, or the oppressed? 93% of federal inmates are men. Who do you think is more likely to go to college? The oppressors, or the oppressed? The gap in women's college attainment over men today is as large as the gap of men over women in 1972. Boys are literally growing up in an era dubbed the end of men. Biological differences EXIST. Women literally give birth and men cannot. Feminism vehemently denies the influence of biolo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 09:06 PM
0

There was a woman who jumped out of a rideshare in my city because she was impatient and the driver made a wrong turn. The rideshare app banned her. She appealed. The rideshare app reviewed the evidence and upheld the ban. So, she turned to the media and said “she felt like she was being kidnapped”. Without a shred of evidence, an army of misandrists hopped on threatening to boycott the app and trying to doxx the male driver. The CEO of the company had to get involved, apologize, and reinstate t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 08:39 PM
10

Feminism is a women's supremacy movement that just happens to be achieving equality in domains where women are disadvantaged. As women increasingly gain equality or even surpass men in different domains, the women's supremacy aspects of feminism remain. Feminism tends to be the dominant force in progressive spaces that suppresses and dominates attempts to help men as "distractions" from the remaining women's issues. Feminism uses the past as a weapon of oppression against men in the present. For…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 06:54 PM
1

Young women may be more likely to marry a man without a degree today compared to men today because of the existence of gap. In 2019, the gap in college attainment of women over men was as large as it was for men over women in 19721. So, it would be more accurate to compare women's rate of marrying men without a B.S. to men in the 1970s. National Center for Education Statistics, “Degrees Conferred by Postsecondary Institutions, by Level of Degree and Sex of Student: Selected Years, 1869–70 throug…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 06:49 PM
0

Statistical evidence of economically, sociologically, and educationally assortative mating is not sufficient evidence against the desire of hypergamy. Women may desire hypergamy but are unable to obtain it so they end up with the best they can get which happens to be a man of similar status.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 06:33 PM
5

Yes I am looking at the actual study. Dominance is tightly linked to fitness in men as studies from hunter-gatherer societies demonstrate that dominance rank increases fitness through offspring number [14] and resource availability [12]. Even in modern day society, dominance and not attractiveness is associated with college male mating success [13]. Apart from restructuring the hierarchy, a high status female poses a secondary threat to relatively lower status males: as women are attracted to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 06:14 PM
3

As success and ambition are qualities most women take into effect when selecting a mate, a man’s ego can suffer greatly when he feels as though he is not seen as superior in these categories Okay so your logic is that women care about men's economical/sociological/educational status because "low status" men bully women, but you also literally just said that men feel insecure because women take these into effect. So by your own logic, if women stopped caring so much about men's status, men would …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 05:24 PM
13

Feminism branded itself as a gender equality movementthrough the advancement of women's issues. Feminism conveniently left out the only caring about women part so now that's why a lot of people are surprised and confused to discover it doesn't give two shits about men (except where favorable to women).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 05:08 PM
2

Here is a chart I made from the Online College Social Life Survey num.partners variable with some custom annotations. These data were collected in 2010 before Tinder became popular which most likely exacerbated the phenomenon. There are small percentage gaps of women over men for body counts all the way up to around 8, and then men start to have small percentage gaps. There are tons of factors contributing to perceived sexual scarcity but one of them could be that when women start explore sex an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 04:03 PM
1

Here is a chart I made from the Online College Social Life Survey num.partners variable with some custom annotations. These data were collected in 2010 before Tinder became popular which most likely exacerbated the phenomenon. There are small percentage gaps of women over men for body counts all the way up to around 8, and then men start to have small percentage gaps. I think the demonization of women as "hoes" stems from the tendency for a lot of women to only want to have sex with the top perc…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 03:45 PM
13

M.S., 80k -> 150k, car, bought ~500k house at 26 (ty Covid interest rates). Dating was extremely tough 16-25ish because women had extremely high standards. I’m only 5’9” so why go for an average guy when you could try for 6’3” guys? I almost ended up falling into that rut of never being able to get experience because of being inexperienced but… a girl that friendzoned me changed her mind and decided to actually give me a chance. We dated for 3 years but broke up after college. Dating went back t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 03:18 AM
5

I think a lot of men’s fixation on sex comes from perceived scarcity of sex. The more readily available something is, the less you crave or worry about it. Additionally, the less women become inundated in sexual solicitation, the more they may begin to welcome it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:20 AM
1

In the U.S. something like 93% of federal inmates are men. In progressive California, 23 new prisons have been built for every new college since 1980. Locking up all the incels will be very expensive and I’d be very surprised if women’s supremacy still manages to masquerade behind gender equality once that happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 02:18 AM
4

Whatever happened to the idea of arbitrary social constructs and socialization? What if we targeted some of that stuff at women instead of men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:53 AM
0

Have you heard the trend that female students are more than twice as likely to study abroad as their male peers1? If women are still so horribly oppressed by the patriarchy, why are they 2X more comfortable than men in going to some random other country? And if young men have it so great, why are they afraid to? Something fishy is going on... Your article mentions: For the past 20 years, women have outpaced men in college attendance and degrees. As a matter of fact, the gap in college attainment…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/23 01:31 AM
1

Late 20s U.S., college-educated males. One is engaged. ~5 living with girlfriends. 3 single wanting relationships. All enjoy sex and wish it was more easily accessible during dating, none are “sex obsessed”. Majority of the guys do not, did not, or would not have much success on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:47 PM
1

Substitute dating apps with any other single space and the phenomenon still occurs. Every single guy I know wants a relationship and simultaneously rarely gets sex so I think there’s a disconnect between the men women tend to sexually interact with and the tons of men who want relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 10:14 PM
1

Right and the super desirable ones obsessed with sex join the mass of attractive “single for a reason” trash on dating apps. Overly selective women swipe on them and start thinking all men are sex-obsessed when, in reality, those women are just digging through attractive trash rather than more average guys that may have more quality behind the scenes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 09:18 PM
0

Some women being “willing to meet a complete stranger off the internet” doesn’t have anything to do with sex. There’s literally nothing wrong with being willing to meet strangers. That doesn’t mean a woman is desperate or “needs male validation”. It probably just means she’s not a misandrist that assumes every man is a criminal. In the U.S. the only “sex work” that has gone mainstream AFAIK is Only Fans which I think can be exploitative. Type 1 diabetes is a good analogy. Rather than moving towa…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 08:51 PM
2

I know a lot of women that had an exploratory phase and “just wanted sex”. They have sex with a handful of hot guys and get past that phase quickly. Meanwhile, most of the men around them are not getting sex and are unable to get past that phase. If you get stuck in the phase for too long it becomes a fixation. I think a lot of sex obsession comes from the scarcity of sex for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 07:47 PM
6

Before the pandemic, no one was worried about getting toilet paper. Then, the news started spreading about toilet paper running out of stock. Suddenly, there was a frenzy for getting toilet paper because of the perceived scarcity. Men fixate on sex because women create a perceived scarcity for it. If sex was readily available, men would not care about it as much and would feel more comfortable and confident just focusing on themselves or other things in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/23 04:28 PM
49

I think feminism’s pathologization of male biology and men’s interest in women/sex actually exacerbates men’s fixation on obtaining sex by creating perceived scarcity. If young men entered the dating world and never experienced perceived scarcity of dating and sex, I think they’d be a lot less likely to fixate on obtaining it. Young men would feel more confident focusing on themselves and other things because they feel more comfortable about sex and dating being available, when they want it. Wom…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/11/23 10:22 PM
55

Because it’s hard to sleep ‘equal’.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 09:37 PM
1

True, but if you throw “80/20” around it doesn’t effectively communicate or prove it because it’s not going to show up that way in stats. What’s actually happening is the integration across all windows of consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 07:59 PM
0

A 10/10 man is not going to interact with a 3/10 woman, but he might interact with a 7/10 woman. 80% of women are not going for the GLOBAL top 20% of men, they are going for the top 20% of men in their LOCAL window of consideration. To determine the global effect of localized 80/20, you would need to integrate across all women’s individual windows of consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 06:53 PM
–

With that line of thinking, women’s supremacists would gladly start chemically castrating boys at birth to reduce testosterone. I think instead we should stop letting women’s supremacists pathologize and demonize male biology. Women have tons of evolutionary mismatch too, why is it only men’s evolutionary mismatch on the chopping block?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/23 03:12 PM
1

What age range? Most guys I know in their 20s are neither 100% for or against having kids. They’re just unsure and would prefer for their partner to be open-minded about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 10:13 PM
3

Well duh, physical attraction and sexual desire is the main differentiator between friends and romantic partners. Speaking of friends, that’s like saying you only have friends to gain access to emotional support and to satiate loneliness. While technically true, it’s just a pessimistic way of looking at it. Men do enjoy sex, but women do too (or at least my girlfriend does lol). Just because men enjoy sex doesn’t mean that is “only” what they are looking for. And just because more average men ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 08:41 PM
1

(Self perception of) attractiveness often calibrates willingness to pursue short term reproductive strategies and willingness to help in child-rearing (aka commit). If you feel like all men are only interested in casual sex, it’s probably because you only give chances to extremely physically desirable men with tons of options who are more likely to want to pursue short term reproductive strategies and not commit to you. Example1. Recent evidence suggests that men with features signaling genetic …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 08:30 PM
0

The frequency of reception of oral correlates with the amount of effort put into grooming and self-care.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 05:28 PM
1

I mean even if you get a warm approach through a mutual friend or something you still won’t know that much about them. I feel like your tiny last point is the primary reason and deserves more attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 04:03 AM
2

It's the theory of strategic pluralism. During human evolutionary history, there were “trade-offs” between expending time and energy on child-rearing and mating, so both men and women evolved conditional mating strategies guided by cues signaling the circumstances. Many short-term matings might be successful for some men; others might try to find and keep a single mate, investing their effort in rearing her offspring. Recent evidence suggests that men with features signaling genetic benefits to …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 03:22 AM
6

I mean my ass isn't the one getting eaten.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 12:14 AM
3

Hi I'm here in this era. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/03/14/chapter-6-time-in-work-and-leisure-patterns-by-gender-and-family-structure/ Fathers in single-parents households spend HALF as much time on childcare and housework as mothers in single-parent households. So are the children dying with the house on fire or...perhaps... is the masculine model of housekeeping/caretaking a little different from the antiquated feminine model of housekeeping/caretaking? A lot of these ad-rev…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 04:41 AM
5

According to a study by Alexandra Killewald: For marriages formed after 1975, husbands’ lack of full-time employment is associated with higher risk of divorce, but neither wives’ full-time employment nor wives’ share of household labor is associated with divorce risk. Expectations of wives’ homemaking may have eroded, but the husband breadwinner norm persists. So congrats on "doing it all" ladies but even if you don't, your husband will still love you. Men are actually able to love women for who…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/23 03:17 AM
29

I've also, I kid you not, seen feminists impersonate super masculine body builders on social media. You can spot them a mile away because they'll have like 2 followers and roll up to controversial gender issue threads and immediately change tone to the usual internet-feminist condescension the instant they get debated.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/11/23 04:54 AM
5

When I was dating, I dropped men who set off my alarm bells/gut instinct. Didn't care if what they did to set it off was small; if my gut told me to get out, I got the fuck out. Some may think this is extreme but I trust my gut; always have and always will. This illogical, irrational, and unforgiving mindset is frustratingly common in women in modern dating and often coincides with narcissism and interest in astrology. Women like this will hastily reject a guy because of some stupid, unobjective…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 04:35 AM
–

I’ve had attractive girlfriends and I’ve gotten hints from attractive women but I’ve only ever been approached by overweight, unattractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:21 AM
5

I feel like the research on hormonal birth control changing women’s mate preference tends to go back and forth a lot, and often relates to Strategic Pluralism which is also constantly under heavy debate. However, if Strategic Pluralism is true I think that’d be really sad for men. It would basically mean that women biologically desire to mate with unrealistically hot guys until they get pregnant and their hormones tell them to find a more attainable sweet and stable guy to help raise the baby. I…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/11/23 02:47 AM
12

You also have to think about the target audience of male birth control. Modern dating is extremely fast-paced and fleeting and many women will reject you for lack of a spark after just one date. Guys that aren't having consistent sex aren't going to want to take male birth control. So, BAM you just cut out an enormous chunk of the male population right there. Many women, on the other hand, still take birth control to mitigate periods regardless of their sexual activity. If you're a patriarchal s…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/11/23 01:16 AM
2

Humans evolved to be social and cultural beings because it provides a new avenue of adaptation to dynamic environments that’s faster than biological evolution. Rather than take millions of years to evolve and adapt to environmental challenges, humans could socially collaborate to overcome immediate challenges and pass on the solutions through culture, storytelling, and eventually writing. Monogamy tends to relate to less sexual size dimorphism so the latter is often used a proxy for measuring th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 09:24 PM
6

OP is sort of thinking out loud through a modern double standard. The expectation of agency in dating is often placed on men. However, in a relationship, men are expected to moderate their agency while women are often not expected to moderate their solicitation of agency. The expectation for men in a relationship not to actively hit on other women is common and normalized, but any expectation for a woman in a relationship to try to not solicit agency is demonized as controlling and misogynistic.…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 08:40 PM
1

No 8/10 man is going to interact with a 3/10 woman. Also, many women purposefully avoid guys that they think are too attractive because they want commitment, not sex. So, there is a “window” across the population on dating apps within which 80/20 applies. Every woman has a “window of consideration” and 80% of women only consider the top 20% of guys in their window. The marriage rate from dating apps is likely the integration across time of the 20% of instances where women actually consider the b…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 08:20 PM
1

Statistically, men and women finally start becoming equally desirable around late 30s. You’re not becoming “ugly”, you’re just growing closer to understanding how it feels to be a male under 30 trying to date. If you are worried about that, might be time to introspect.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:34 PM
1

Objectification may seem a little confusing when applied to women because the term was invented to demonize men for being biologically sexually attracted to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 07:13 PM
2

There is a minimum AFQT score so you technically can’t be as dumb as you want. There are minimum requirements for both intelligence and fitness but additional fitness beyond the bare minimum does nothing for your joining rank while additional intelligence beyond the bare minimum via higher education can help you start out as an O-1. So, additional intelligence is clearly more valued than additional fitness.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:46 PM
2

And you can be as fit and as strong as you want but without a college education some dude that barely passes the fitness test can join as an O-1 and out rank you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 06:12 PM
2

And you need a college education to start as an O-1 for a reason
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:59 PM
2

This isn’t Ancient Greece my guy. Have you ever tried arm wrestling an F22? If you want to use winning wars as a proxy for manliness you better tell men to hit the books, not the gym.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 05:50 PM
4

I mean there’s nothing wrong with having an active hobby but rugby specifically isn’t going to make you any more interesting or appealing to women than something like dance or running.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:47 PM
3

You can also just go travel or live in another completely safe first world country and it will make you more interesting. Being “well-traveled” is one of the top qualities women look for on dating apps. It has absolutely nothing to do with danger or being strenuous, just having interesting experiences to talk about.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 01:43 PM
2

Are you 12? Very few people play sports when they grow up and get real jobs. Also wars today are won by economies and nerds building smart shit and telling big ass dumb football-playing brutes what to do. If you want to measure men by their ability to win wars, go give skinny STEM nerds some love.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/23 12:56 PM
50

Geez I just saw a thread on why are boys falling behind across the board and one of the most upvoted comments alleges it’s because they see “so many useless, mediocre, morons becoming wildly successful” (referring to men). What’s even sadder is feeling useless and worthless are the most popular words that men use to describe themselves when committing suicide and you can clearly see where that sentiment is coming from (on mobile, comment for source and I’ll go find it).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/10/23 12:03 PM
2

OP: You merely adopted the Tinder. I was born in it. MOLDED BY IT. Okay Bane, how do you know what dating was actually like before the dating app era if you never dated before dating apps? I was in college on the front lines when Tinder first started becoming popular while yo momma was probably picking you up from elementary school. My first kiss was a girl kissing me at a college club and my second kiss was her friend kissing me lol. There were TONS of women out just wanting to meet guys and ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 03:38 PM
–

College-educated women tend to be more progressive/feminist and also... surprisingly... more likely to get married and stay married. Many will give birth to sons who will hit puberty around their pre-teens and the moms will get to see their boy(s) grow up in a world that pathologizes their biology and existence and finally see the real reason why many of those boys choose to retreat away to porn and video games where they can actually feel useful and desired... or leave the world entirely. A mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 03:07 PM
1

If a guy is telling women to get married early they’re probably some ancient conservative old fart. Most young guys talk about the wall because women neglect us 18-30 and then only finally start to give us the time of day facing the imminent loss of their fertility whilst complaining about how bitter, resentful, insecure, and inexperienced we are. Most young guys don’t want to get married early either, especially when we’re neglected and have a hard time exploring and meeting women and figuring …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/23 12:23 PM
–

It’s not really anger, it’s bitterness, and it comes from widespread denial of women’s role and eagerness to blame men for everything. For example, every few months or so an article will come out about female breadwinners doing more housework or whatever which always invites generalized manbashing. However, based on my experience from when I was single, 99.9% of the time as a guy you are preselected out based on extremely shallow criteria like height. The issue isn’t men, it’s that breadwinning …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/23 05:55 PM
0

Well it’s hard to make money off of men’s preferences being unrealistic because they tend to be realistic in real life. Many guys will give women a chance if she’s just fit/healthy but most women need a lot more just to give a guy a chance. If you want to see women complaining about men online, go to any dating advice sub or FDS if you want to see more extreme complaints.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 03:15 PM
1

As an average guy, I had more dating success at 27 than I did at 20 in college when I was in my best physical shape. So I actually unimproved a little bit but the effects of the narrowing age-based relative desirability gap between young men and young women were greater.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 03:07 PM
1

I would argue that complaining about men or “the patriarchy” is the largest and most popular complaint community, but yes there are also communities that complain about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 02:47 PM
0

No one cares about your preferences until you complain about them. Many women will: Date guys with tons of options and complain about being treated like just another option Not care about being realistic until they're serious about settling down, and then complain about tons of guys still wanting to explore Not care about being realistic until they're serious about settling down, and then complain about so many comparably desirable guys being inexperienced and "unrefined" Purposefully dig throug…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/23 02:41 PM
2

Imagine two women, A and B. A has a healthy view of men and realistic standards. B is indoctrinated into misandry and showered with empowerment telling her the world is her oyster, men are trash, and the patriarchy is out to get her everywhere. A enters the dating world and gets swarmed with attention. Since A has healthy views of and realistic standards for men, A has an easy time converting all the attention into what she wants. A doesn't need to complain or brag, she's just happy and complace…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/23 12:54 AM
0

I turned out okay. Women started taking me a lot more seriously when I had a 600k home at 26. That helped counteract my lack of experience and help me gain experience and then it was game over.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 10:07 PM
27

Of all the engineering majors, mine had the absolute worst M:F ratio. Then, unsurprisingly, my job had a similar ratio. A decent chunk of people meet at college/work but software engineers don’t get that luxury. You get dumped out into the dating world behind everyone in experience which can snowball when women deny you from getting experience due to your lack of experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 11:09 PM
1

You should also specify age range. At 18 I was in college making $0 and got zero attention from attractive women. However, as soon as I graduated I was making 85k so I never even got a chance to be an aggrieved average guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:24 PM
8

Getting attention from attractive women isn’t emasculating at all. Quite the opposite actually. Also women tend to only approach guys that are more relatively desirable than themselves. For example, I’ve only ever been approached by obese women but my girlfriend is slim and attractive. How did that happen? Well I had to approach her in order to showcase myself. Men would approach less if women approached them more AND women approached more realistically.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 10:05 PM
1

I agree, but why do you think it's so taboo?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 05:48 PM
-1

I mean I've been kissed before without consent by a very large woman at a party before but I just walked away. It's just a kiss and not that big of a deal to me. However, if I had some deep rooted hatred for women I might be tempted to use that occurrence as a morally-justified excuse to proxy my hatred.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 04:33 PM
1

Where did you get that idea? I was just pointing out that, while kissing/touching isn't culturally normative in the U.S., many women still expect men to make a move (in dating) which may involve hugging/kissing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 03:59 PM
3

Misandrists are quick to jump on any opportunity to hate men, and news outlets are eager to take advantage of all the hate/sensationalism. I wouldn't put too much thought into the radical, sensational views you're seeing because they don't actually represent the views of normal women (like my girlfriend who took one look at the video and just thought it was just from excitement).
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 01:29 PM
6

Ah I thought you might've just been using sexual assault/harassment accidentally interchangeably until now, and the top commenter in this thread correctly used harassment, not assault. However, your question involving culture applies to both because what if someone's culture defines kissing to be sexual or something like that? I think the answer is that context/culture of both the perpetrator and victim need to be considered before blindly persecuting/prosecuting. Also, in the case of male-on-fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:38 PM
11

Women expecting men to be a man and make a move is culturally normative in the U.S.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 12:03 PM
2

In hospitals, many baby boys get the color blue while baby girls get the color pink. As they grow up they see other boys with blue and girls with pink and associate “blue” with boys/men and “pink” with girls/women. However, this is completely arbitrary aka it just sort of randomly popped up for no particular reason. Boys could have also been arbitrarily associated with pink and girls with blue. Or, since it’s completely arbitrary, why restrict boys and girls to blue and pink and not let them dec…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/23 12:06 AM
1

Feminism introduced us to the idea of arbitrary social constructs. Do you think those only negatively affect women or can men be negatively impacted by arbitrary social constructs too?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 09:53 PM
1

Dyed bright red, orange, green, blue, violet hair. It’s like a poison dart frog, nature is giving you a sign to stay away. Acts/indicators of condescension, contempt, elitism, vanity, narcissism. Pathologizing my feelings, including sexual attraction, and making me feel uncomfortable in anyway of being myself or speaking my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 05:59 PM
2

Alright so I dance as a hobby. Women do indeed have more realistic expectations at dance (because it’s not a cold approach). However, I’m not there to fuck women, I’m there to dance and have fun. The women there are my friends and I want it to stay that way because I actually like to dance and it’s weird for everyone when sexual/romantic feelings come into the equation. So, I prefer to meet women elsewhere. For me, cold approaching in real life was no better than dating apps. Actually it was a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 04:18 PM
3

The women I would “get” improved as a I got older (18-27), but I didn’t really change or improve much myself aside from just normal parts of male physical maturation. So basically I did nothing and the women I “got” improved. Why? Well, because it was women, not me. Women finally started having more realistic expectations. If I hadn’t experienced what I did I might’ve believed the incredible amount of hate and blame that always gets thrown men’s way. A lot of the issues that women have with men/…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/23 11:32 AM
0

Are we alone to refuse to learn the lesson? Are we alone to ask and take the utmost that women can give,--service and sacrifice of every kind,-and still say that we do not see what title that gives them to stand by our sides in the guidance of the affairs of their nation and ours? We have made partners of the women in this war; shall we admit them only to a partnership of sacrifice and suffering and toil and not to a partnership of privilege and of right? -Leader of the patriarchy, September 30,…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:14 PM
2

It’s easier for single women to adopt a “men are dumb and stupid” mentality that helps them quickly overcome their unrealistic standards and and be happier with their decision to be single. Furthermore, they can very easily change their mind at any time and get with a guy. Women with unrealistic standards that finally start exercising realistic standards, however, are unable to take the “men are dumb and stupid” mental shortcut and are not as easily able to change their mind. It’s not as easy to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 04:43 PM
0

The ‘liberation’ aspect refers to restrictive arbitrary societal norms. I know tatted, muscular motorcycle-riding women that receive tons of attention but guys are still pretty heavily judged by the same norms they’ve always been like protector (height) and provider. If a guy tries to liberate himself from antiquated norms and like a dominant woman, she will probably just suggest he should try being gay. The liberation movement forgot about men along the way and turned into a sexual supremacy mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:56 AM
3

I stand up for actual women’s issues and gender equality, not issues founded in misandry and invented out of pathologization of men. My girlfriend doesn’t reward me for it or anything crazy like that, she just respects me for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 11:50 AM
1

You can’t assume women’s attraction for men is normally distributed due to women’s height preference. The height of choosiness: mutual mate choice for stature results in suboptimal pair formation for both sexes. If women’s attractiveness for men was actually normally distributed, height preference would also have to be normally distributed and wouldn’t exist at the extent it currently does.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/23 06:03 PM
1

I think it’s more significant than people realize.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 08:48 PM
1

The primary demographic of men frustrated with dating tends to be around 18-30ish. There was that infamous Pew research publication earlier this year that found 63% of 18-29 men were single compared to only 34% of 18-29 women... well that same study showed only 25% of guys 30-49 as single. "Fresh and fit" is only considering women appealing to their target audience which is most likely "fresh and fit" women. SO let's say "fresh" means 18-30 women, according to census.gov that is about 17% of wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/23 01:52 AM
6

Initially yes, mainly because it’s currently so rare and unique. However, if all women started collectively being more forthcoming with affirmation and validation towards men it would stop being perceived that way. Also, I had a woman compliment my dancing at a club once years ago and then just walk away which made it pretty clear it was just a compliment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 05:25 PM
12

In college I was a creep, not out of malicious intent but because I legitimately lacked experience with women. I still have cringe nightmares over a decade later of a super attractive girl inviting me over to her dorm to drink and chill with friends and I just didn’t know how to act so I asked to… play with her hair. I know you’re not looking for answers that ‘blame’ women but all my dating and dating-related self esteem issues ended with women finally actually giving me a chance to gain experie…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/23 04:57 PM
1

Tbh, I think it’s more men don’t mind it, not that they like it. Women aren’t biologically attracted enough to men to want to coach a man through basic aspects of life so they’d rather just be single than be in that situation. So, across millions of relationships, men are more likely to not mind and enter a ‘coaching’ dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 08:07 PM
1

Why do you think men are taller and stronger on average than women? I think you've linked the research before so you must know that polygyny, sexual size dimorphism, and "patriarchy" all trend together in primates: Those species in which there is intense male-male competition, in comparison to female-female competition, are characterized by greater body-size dimorphism than those in which competition is lower in males or equal among the sexes. In humans, male-biased body-size dimorphism is only …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 07:06 PM
1

Your argument is gynocentric. "Women's attraction is invariant, therefore, go fuck yourselves." Just because women can't change their attraction to height* doesn't mean that isn't objectively worse to be judged by height than to be judged by weight. * Feminism has spent a century hammering in the idea of trying to socialize away undesirable aspects of male behavior. What if women are socialized to be attracted to height? Because of gynocentrism, that question will never be entertained because wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:51 PM
1

Your argument is unfalsifiable. You claim that invariant height preference cannot be objectively worse than variant weight preference because you subjectively disagree. I don’t need to waste my time arguing against that so we’re done here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 06:23 PM
1

I’m not about to go do your research for you. The data is out there if you want to actually challenge your worldview. It is objectively easier for a woman to improve her dating prospects through diet and fitness than it is for a man to improve his dating prospects by increasing his height.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:49 PM
2

Data doesn’t care about your feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:43 PM
1

You can quantify and measure the correlations of male height and female weight on dating success. That’s why they get compared and equated all the time because they always show up in dating data as significant, gender-asymmetric easily quantifiable shallow indicators of success-proxy metrics. You can calculate the extent to which height and weight correlate with success. You can calculate how much weight loss influences a woman’s dating prospects. But you can’t easily calculate how much a height…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 05:38 PM
1

I’m not too familiar with the apple body type. Do you happen to have an example of a female bodybuilder with an apple body type so we can see what it might look like in peak form?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:58 PM
3

Well imagine I’m a 1910 male arguing that educated women are unattractive. It’s not up for women to decide, is it? It’s up to the individual! Umm no BS, people can totally have toxic antiquated gender preferences. The narrative of “everyone is allowed to have preferences” conveniently pops up only when addressing women’s toxic and antiquated expectations of men and masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 03:51 PM
–

Men have to compete in the oppression olympics to avoid having the past used as a weapon of oppression against them in the present. “Oh well the past sucked for women so, therefore, women rule boys drool!” That logic gets used to actively dismiss and ignore valid men’s issues in the present. That is the source of the oppression olympics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:36 PM
3

It tells you that average-height men are more reproductively successful and shorter men are less likely to get divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:34 PM
6

Many active women tend to gain healthy lean mass so they are slimmer and have higher metabolisms but actually weigh more. No one actually cares about weight and it just shows how women can actively improve the primary metric by which they are filtered out while men cannot.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:33 PM
7

Body type is too often used as a euphemism for being overweight and out of shape. If you get in shape, yes you might not have a perfect hourglass figure but you will still be attractive. I dance with many physically fit women and you can clearly notice the different body types, but none of them are unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:29 PM
5

I think people assume there’s overlap because of a fundamental, fallacious assumption that men have to be at fault. For example, my friend group of guys is smaller than my girlfriend’s friend group and my sister’s but none of us are ‘lonely’ and all but one of the guys is romantically unsuccessful. The one romantically unsuccessful guy is also the shortest guy in the friend group… Cultural and societal elements of feminism and women’s empowerment discourages blaming women in any way, so any rese…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:24 PM
2

Right but both men and women symmetrically judge each other for all those things until we get to height and weight, which is why they get equated so much. It’s objectively worse to be judged for invariant height than variant weight. I think people are just afraid to admit something can actually be worse for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:14 PM
–

Welcome to the oppression olympics my friend, you must be new here. OP is barely in the qualifiers against the domineering, supreme, long-running champ.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:12 PM
0

Because actually admitting and acknowledging that preference for invariant height is worse might encourage, not force, some women to try exercising more realistic preferences for it and end up discovering more quality/depth and encounter better long term outcomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:06 PM
1

Average-height men tend to have more reproductive success and shorter men are less likely to get divorced. It’s sad that they undergo so much struggle before women finally start realizing their own insane and shallow preferences are their own worst enemy to long term success.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 02:03 PM
12

Sure, but this still doesn’t address the false equivalency. It’s objectively worse to be primarily filtered out based on your height than your weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 01:50 PM
13

Sex isn’t that powerful of a desire when you can regularly get it. However, since it’s so hard to rely on women to regularly get it, men often have to constantly fixate and focus on obtaining it, or they just turn to unrealistic porn and deal with the consequences later.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 12:01 PM
1

The choice that the majority of men have to make is whether to stay at this oasis or chance it back out in the desert for another potentially better oasis in weeks, months, or years away.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 11:59 AM
7

If you don’t want oppression olympics, stop running the oppression olympics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/23 12:25 AM
–

In this dance, no one is truly to blame. The young men's confusion and young women's reactions are but symptoms of a more complex dance. It's a dance that involves fear, expectations, social norms, traumas, and an overall lack of understanding of what it means to be human, to be sexual, to be alive. The antidote is not to point fingers but to invite a deeper inquiry, a healing, a transformation. To dance in the realm of nonduality is to see beyond blame and to recognize the roles we all play in …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 11:56 PM
8

Nature is fucking crazy and brutal. Humans were oppressed by nature for millions of years until they finally started to overcome it in recent history. For those millions of years, women benefited heavily from being evolutionarily treasured and protected. Men? Disposable. Unwanted. You want to survive? Better be ready to fight and die for it!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 11:53 PM
8

Women have been oppressed for the vast vast vast majority of human history. Women were only "oppressed" for the tiniest tidbit of recent history as humans began to escape the cold, brutal, unforgiving onslaught of surviving nature. For the vast vast vast majority of human history, men were the ones who were oppressed. Society has always been structured to protect women as much as possible while men were more disposable. You might look back at history and see Napoleon, or Tutankhamen, or Ghengis …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 11:08 PM
–

I think boys are born with flutes, not swords. As they grow up as young men and take out their flutes to play, the young women dance along… at high speeds… in the opposite direction. Many boys grow up never understanding how to healthily have and express their sexual desire for women because women never give them a chance to do so in the first place, pathologizing the existence and expression of men’s natural feelings and desires as sexualization, objectification, and unwanted harassment. Feelin…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 09:16 PM
–

So using your framework of non-duality, what do you think about the duality that men, collectively or individually, are always at fault for modern dating issues while women are not?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:37 PM
2

Childfree friend or family member? Couldn’t care less. Childfree dating prospect? Would probably prefer someone that more closely aligns with my own personal preferences which includes the possibility of kids one day. My feelings on infertility resembles women’s feelings on height. I could be perfectly happy with someone infertile. Infertility doesn’t necessarily mean childfree. You can still adopt or use a surrogate. However, given tons of options I would probably just err on the side of cautio…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:09 PM
–

You can’t legally force anyone to marry. This policy would encourage more women to have kids with ‘unmarriagable’ men and then just take advantage of the luxurious subsidies to comfortably raise the kids themselves. Meanwhile, the unmarriagable men would just be working their asses off to pay for women to raise their kids without them. Some women might even purposefully have kids just for the money and you’d end up with a lot of neglected “subsidy babies” getting born. As a guy I would not suppo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 04:21 PM
2

Easy access to casual dating/intimacy helps you determine what’s out there, gain experience/maturity in dealing with the opposite sex, establish your needs/wants/values in a relationship, and obtain the perspective to be able to confidently settle on and appreciate one person when you find them. If you want a serious relationship, you probably want to go for someone that knows what they want and is ready and willing to settle down. Unfortunately, many young men do not have easy access to casual …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 03:41 PM
2

There’s two parts to the equation but men are too often the only variable receiving advice and critique.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 06:33 PM
1

Giving men advice implies they are the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 04:12 PM
6

Compared to a more average guy that doesn’t get much attention/interest and sexual opportunity from an attractive woman is extremely rare and valuable, do you think a more attractive man that gets a lot of attention/interest may be less concerned with focusing on the pleasure of a woman since he has plenty options?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 12:22 PM
7

So what you’re saying is that the orgasm gap is related to experience, not biology, and men would get better at making women orgasm if they got more practice and experience at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 11:22 AM
–

Some kinds of sex does, yes. And both parts are equally important. It’s misogynistic to assign less value to either of the two equal parts and that stigmatization of ‘being penetrated’ or fulfilling the submissive role negatively impacts everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/23 03:25 AM
12

"Single for a reason" people are much more common in the single population.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 09:30 PM
5

I didn’t discover masturbation until my freshman year of college because of natural sensitivity issues and growing up in a household that banned porn. I think growing up being hopelessly and helplessly infatuated with uninterested attractive young women around me for years caused me to develop some weird fetishes. When I discovered porn I could finally experience relief and it actually made my dating life easier because women tend to misunderstand and pathologize male sexual desire so I could ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 01:03 PM
1

I was my most physically fit in college and didn’t get much attention but suddenly started getting attention around 27 despite looking worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 12:50 PM
2

Because you have to go on like 1-2 dates per week for months to years as a guy. Many guys go straight for dinner and don’t just do drinks so they end up paying $100+ for a first date. Oof.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/23 03:18 AM
1

I entered college in the US as a very cardio-fit runner, 5’9”, 128lbs. But, I only got attention from obese women. So, I spent the next 3 years at the gym slowly working my way up to 155 lbs. However, a lifting hobby became a lot more time consuming after college without access to an unlimited college meal plan so I stopped going as frequently. Thankfully, around late twenties women’s priorities began to change and I started getting attention from attractive women without needing to be super mus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 06:28 PM
0

First date: evening drinks. You only have to buy her a drink or two. Total cost: $15-$50 depending on deals/location. Your goal is to get all the lovely “I didn’t feel a spark” texts out of the way before you spend too much. Drinks also help get convo flowing and help with high first date expectations. Second date: sober date, coffee/breakfast/lunch at a cafe in broad daylight and a walk. $10-$40. This will fish out more didn’t feel a spark texts. Third date: Invite her over for something fun li…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 12:45 PM
–

The majority of people end up with someone comparably desirable. The reason the woman seems hotter in many couples is because the standard of attractiveness for men is so high. It seems like women are always “more forgiving” because their physical standards for men start out so high that they tend to always be having to lower them when in reality they are just un-raising them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 06:43 PM
4

Linda Gordon, professor of history and University Professor of the Humanities at New York University The nuclear family must be destroyed… Whatever its ultimate meaning, the break-up of families now is an objectively revolutionary process. Andrea Dworkin, American radical feminist writer Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice. Sharon Stone, American actress The more famous and powerful I get the more power I have to hurt men. Sally Miller Gearhart, in The Future – If There …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 04:10 AM
1

Assuming we’re not factoring in the entire world population and limiting it to just similarly aged men that speak their language in their country, I think it’d be about 1%. It might sound low but that’s one in a hundred. For a college campus with 20k men that’s still 200 men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:56 PM
3

I think the issue is that you can’t improve the social aspects of dating on advice alone, you need actual experience and practice. Many young, inexperienced men cannot get that social experience though because women reject them for lacking social experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 07:38 PM
1

My friend group consisting of several men and women loves to watch the Bachelor and Bachelorette and do a fantasy league every time. The men and women on these shows are always very attractive and above-average and arguably "looksmatched". However, while my male friends will find a lot of the female contestants attractive, my female friends tend to find far less male contestants attractive. I don't think this has anything to do with women wearing makeup or putting in more effort, it's just that …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/23 06:17 PM
1

I see what you're saying in that it's important for gender equality movements to be able to focus on the equality of all genders. However, I think you misunderstand the notion of "kissing the ring". Feminism uses the past as a weapon of guilt, shame, and oppression against men in the present. Men cannot dare mention their own unique, modern issues without feminism starting a historical oppression dick measuring contest and forcing modern men to "kiss the ring" and apologize or pay restitution fo…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates14/08/23 04:15 PM
7

On this same note, have you ever ventured into the domain of dating advice and seen how many times men get told to be confident, assertive, secure, and leaderlike? Men "being in power" is one of the top justifications for modern misandry. It feels like women continue to expect leaderlike qualities of men but then hate men for becoming leaders.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates12/08/23 10:26 PM
14

This is an active topic of research and debate. What's hilarious is that feminists denied the existence of biological sex differences for decades arguing that oppression and socialization causes gender gaps in education, not biology. Now that we have a gender gap in education the other way around, suddenly biological sex differences do exist and the gap must be because men are biologically inferior to women. Women aren't outpacing men because women are biologically superior or any of that bullsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 04:56 PM
2

It depends on your perspective. Women tend to hate "the male gaze" and "sexualization" and "objectification" because they constantly remind women that they can significantly improve their own attractiveness at any time, if they wanted to, with consistent diet and exercise. Women also constantly live in fear that they can significantly lose attractiveness at any time if they let themselves go. While men may not be able to do as much, they also don't have to worry about it as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/23 03:31 PM
1

Dating for most men is like wandering through the desert looking for an oasis. The two most significant choices men make are whether or not to approach the oasis, and whether or not to stay at the oasis. Men are always on the lookout for an oasis and are extremely realistic for approaching oases so that decision is pretty trivial. Is there water? Yes? Okay let's go check it out. Thus, the biggest decision men have to make is whether or not to stay at the oasis or go back to venturing through the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 09:06 PM
7

“Selectivity” isn’t the same thing as “standards”. Selectivity implies selection - who you decide to give chances to. Standards are desired levels of quality that warrant staying with someone you gave a chance to. Many people mix up standards with selectivity and say “lower your standards” when what they really mean is “don’t be unrealistically selective”. Also, the most common case of “settling” is women choosing to compromise on relationship quality for a hot guy because they refuse to date an…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 01:26 PM
2

Ever been to a gym?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/23 02:15 AM
13

Here’s another one. The height of choosiness: mutual mate choice for stature results in suboptimal pair formation for both sexes women were most likely to choose a speed-dater 25 cm taller than themselves, whereas men were most likely to choose women only 7 cm shorter than themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/23 01:14 PM
31

If anyone is curious to learn more, Richard Reeves goes into detail on a lot of those same topics in his book Of Boys and Men. I'm not sure if I missed it but I didn't hear Shoe0nHead mention the growing educational gap.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates08/08/23 04:54 AM
2

Here's another one: The Effect of Adult Entertainment Establishments on Sex Crime: Evidence from New York City
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 07:28 PM
1

A corrupt dictator can sway an election by simply having state-owned media broadcast tons of supporters of the dictator at the polls. What the media usually talks about doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if the audience is "politically charged" as long as a fair amount viewers can vote. And it doesn't need to "frame discourse" or anything. All that matters is seeing tons of supporters at the polls makes members of the opposition think it's pointless so they don't go out and vote. BAM. You just sw…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/23 01:13 AM
6

To add to this, just because one is advancing "equality" doesn't mean their vision of equality is correct or morally right. What is the "equivalent" of a woman giving birth? $100? Blue balls? 18 years worth of child support? Feminism will always bias women and attempt to assign more value to their biological interests while pathologizing and downplaying men's.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 08:24 PM
1

If I were to graph my dating success from 18 to 28, it would have exponential growth. 18-22 was awful. 23-26 was miserable. 27… wait what? I haven’t really changed anything about myself except got older, can grow a beard now, and make a little more money. All these years women (in general) have been telling me my lack of dating success is my fault and I need to “improve” but it seems it was actually just women having unrealistic expectations for young men the whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 06:51 PM
2

It would take a corporation tens to hundreds of millions of dollars just to reach the same amount of people as Ariana Grande can with one insta post (she has 376 MILLION followers). Corporations aren’t the only form of influence and we actually have a lovely new thing called influencers now. Guess who dominates that industry?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 05:38 AM
4

Who are the people in power elected by?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:46 AM
3

In Selectorate Theory, every political system can be described in terms of its nominal, real, and winning selectorates, also known as interchangeables, influentials, and essentials. More equitable political systems tend to have larger selectorates which makes it harder to create narrow policies that reward only the essential people keeping you in power. In a patriarchy or "rule by father", you would expect for these selectorates to consist exclusively of men. However, in western countries, women…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/23 03:02 AM
1

I feel like the quotations in "definition" imply the actual definition is completely benign... OED: Advocacy of equality of the sexes and the establishment of the political, social, and economic rights of the female sex; the movement associated with this Merriam-Webster: belief in and advocacy of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes expressed especially through organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests r/AskFeminists: a collection of movements aimed at def…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/08/23 11:21 PM
0

Humans are social creatures. We are born with a natural desire to be wanted and accepted by others. We also each have a right to our own preferences and opinions of others. Combine everyone's preferences and opinions of a person together and you end up with "societal pressure". You are more than welcome to opt out of societal pressure at any moment, but there are social and societal consequences. Being completely apathetic to social and societal consequences makes you a sociopath. Societal press…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/23 05:15 PM
8

Your view is based exactly on what I mentioned: feminism's denial/dismissal of biological sex differences, feminism's pathologization of male sex differences Feminism dismisses the influence of biology on sex differences in order to (A) attribute men's differences exclusively to socialization by the amorphous patriarchy and (B), arbitrarily assign morality to women pursuing their biological affinities whilst men are demonized and pathologized for pursuing their biological affinities. The goal of…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/08/23 10:15 PM
1

Women who withhold sex are just selecting for guys that are more obsessed with them. You can have the exact same results by having more realistic, lower initial physical standards for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 04:24 PM
12

I think it's specifically caused by a combination of feminism's denial/dismissal of biological sex differences, feminism's pathologization of male sex differences, puberty, and the politically polarizing effects of social media. When do people first start to try discover themselves and their place in the world? It's usually when you're young. What else happens when you're young? You hit puberty and start having hormones and learning about sex and periods and whatnot. As young men dip their toes …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/08/23 03:37 PM
2

Stop pathologizing sex. Stop pathologizing men just for finding women attractive as objectification and sexualization. Stop assuming every dude is a criminal. Stop glorifying men's height and sexually size dimorphic relationships. Stop trying to normalize obesity and promote healthy standards for invariant qualities like height, including empowering tall women to be more comfortable in their actually invariant skin and not feeling like it's weird or "unfeminine" to be with a shorter guy. Call ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/23 01:01 AM
2

The negative phenomena plaguing dating apps don't just magically disappear in real life. They just manifest differently in different environments. In real life, women would still judge me in 2s and I had the social eq to recognize the contempt and it's just a waste of time at that point. No one is going to see the good in you if their head is too far up their own ass. You can't win an uphill battle trying to showcase yourself because you just look cocky, conceited, or compensating. The key is no…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 07:17 PM
1

UAE is 7th in the world for modern slavery and Bahrain and Qatar both of moderate prevalence according to WalkFree’s GSI. According to the Equaldex LGBTQ legal and public opinion index, Qatar and UAE are ranked horribly low at 188/197, 160/197. He’s most likely referencing the Arab Spring in talking about sociosexual frustration leading to unrest which was apparently one of many factors. That sociosexual frustration involves both men and women. You’re fixating on one sentence he said that he doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:25 PM
1

Well earlier you said the homicide rate was higher so people like that have to go to prison. Prison is expensive so in an authoritarian country you can accidentally “lose” prisoners here and there to reduce their cost and burden on the state. And this one of many issues that become parts of the coalitions vying for democratic power. Many states are starting to decriminalize weed among other things which reduce incarceration rates. Mexico may be #3. But where are Afghanistan, Yemen, Syria, and Ir…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 01:11 PM
4

I don’t think anyone, man or woman, wants guys to all be dependent on porn. It’s not healthy or natural. Real sex with real women leads to healthier, more realistic views of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 12:48 PM
2

The argument that no one need be burdened by “misdirected sexual desire” conveniently favors women who tend to, in general have biologically less “directed” sexual desire. That argument is, once again, founded on arbitrary pathologization of men and male biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 05:42 AM
2

Thankfully the CCP doesn’t overburden their populace with an abundance of rights and liberties that might get in the way of stopping murderers. Oh wait what you think I’m a murder!? Wait no please it was just a Google search! And yea Latin America’s homicide crime rate might seem a bit high because in other parts of the world it’s known as “fatalities related to armed conflict”.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 05:40 AM
6

Women are more likely to have disinterest in a man because of biology. Women have higher biological sexual selectivity. This is okay. It’s just biology. Pathologizing people for their biology is wrong. Men have a greater biological sexual attraction to women. Again, pathologizing people for their biology is wrong. No particular instance of disinterest is oppression, but encouraging it en masse is. This oppresses men by pathologizing and demonizing their biological interest in sex and arbitrarily…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 05:20 AM
1

Democracy requires you to secure a majority vote by appealing to a coalition of interests catering to at least half the population. It also affords for the existence of an opposition who is also trying to appeal to a coalition of interests catering to at least half the population. Consequently, the point of equilibrium in the system is two primary coalitions (parties) vying for the majority vote. Independents "win" by joining and lobbying the coalition that most aligns with their interests and h…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 05:10 AM
3

Ah yup that makes sense. The only thing worse than the patriarchy to a radical feminist is having women help diminish the sexual competition that led to it in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:45 AM
8

Which culture is it again where you get like 70 virgins in paradise if you become martyr? And I forget, what's the opposition party to the CCP?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:16 AM
0

Sure you carry everything you need, but why bond for life then? Nomadic humans had no idea that sex creates babies, nor any need to. They probably just had sex when it felt right with whoever it felt right with.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 03:07 AM
4

It's interesting that his bio on the site says that he was named one of the 101 most dangerous professors by conservatives. He referenced his daughters in a post that seemed very pro-feminist (and his daughters EACH have TWO doctorate degrees :O). However, his theory makes a positive case for monogamy which tends to be liked by conservatives. Also, I believe (radical) feminism views marriage and monogamy as patriarchal construct designed to control women's sexuality. Based on his informal theory…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 02:54 AM
9

So Barbie returns to matriarchal Barbieland, now patriarchal Kendom, and sort of feels like second-class citizen and apologizes to Ken who says something like "it's always Barbie and Ken, never just Ken". This seems like an attempt to make the movie two-sided, (ironically) condemning turning anyone into a second-class citizen in matriarchy or patriarchy. However, they infantilize Ken's character as naïve, innocent, and playful in an attempt to defend Ken for instantiating the patriarchy by paint…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 02:43 AM
2

Link? The last time someone said that to me they linked a study that used sexual size dimorphism as a proxy for measuring polygamy/polygyny and the study literally agreed with the idea that ancient humans WERE polygynous but became more monogamous in recent history. Also, Barash references Murdock's 1967 Ethnographic Atlas that found: 849 societies found that prior to Western imperialism and colonial control over much of the world - which included the imposition of historically recent Judeo-Chri…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/23 01:10 AM
2

Reminds me of a funny quote from Ph.D evolutionary biologist David P Barash in describing his theory on how humans became monogamous: if you were reincarnated as a man throughout history, "the overwhelming statistical likelihood" is that you would be "some poor boob". Imagine a polygynous society with an average harem size of, say, ten. This means that for every male harem-keeper, there are nine unsuccessful, sexually and reproductively frustrated, resentful bachelors. The simply reality is that…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates01/08/23 12:30 AM
6

Feminists also explain it away by saying the female leaders are “conforming/adhering to patriarchy”. If the women leaders do something good it’s because women are awesome, but if the women leaders do something bad it’s because men and the patriarchy must’ve created the circumstances for that to occur and the women had to play along in that system.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/07/23 10:46 PM
1

The new modern equivalent is self-respect and self-love. Instead of manipulating women by calling them unladylike, you just paint it as self-love or self-respect now and say they need to respect themselves or exercise more “self-love”.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 08:33 PM
13

People use masculinity to manipulate you, sell shit to you, or shame you (toxic masculinity). Real men do this. Real men do that. Real men smoke cigarettes. Real men drink whiskey. Real men aren’t sexually attracted to women and don’t objectify them. Blah blah blah. The day you become a man is the day you tell ‘em all to fuck off and just live your own damn life, feel your own damn feelings, and stop letting people manipulate and/or pathologize you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/23 06:49 PM
1

I feel like “walking into a room” is a bad context. Let’s say it’s just meeting the single people around your age out and about over a month or so. If you’re an average 20M you’d be able to get dates with maybe 5. At 25, maybe 12 dates. At 35 it would peak around 30 dates. Then it would start slowly going back down again. For a non-fat average 20F it would be about 40 dates and just slowly decrease by about a date per year until 40 when it bottoms out at 20. This is because of a few reasons. Fir…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 07:23 PM
2

The expectation to pay is an extension of the expectation of agency placed on men which comes from women’s greater biological sexual selectivity. Feminism won’t help this because it’s biased towards women. Alleviating the expectation of agency on men would mean “forcing” women to be less selective.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/23 06:24 PM
4

For me, women didn’t start being more realistic until I was 28. However, I was still able to get some dating attention and experience before then. I wouldn’t say dating begins at 25, I would just say it gets a little easier for average guys. However, if you just wait it out until then you won’t have any experience and will still struggle.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 05:04 PM
10

Using my male friend group as a barometer, no one really cares if a woman is “traditional”. They’re usually just struggling to get attention from women that meet the bare minimum threshold of attractiveness which is usually just don’t be overweight. However, 3/5 eventually ended up getting lucky after years and years without success.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 04:53 PM
20

I doubt anyone here has quarrels with most real women’s issues being addressed by feminism. The problem is the ideology of feminism itself. The foundational hatred of “the patriarchy” is an amorphous concept of injury that is ageless in its reach into the past that will forever be used to shame and oppress men, pathologize male biology, invalidate men’s feelings and issues, and inhibit actual gender equality. Another major belief of feminism is that gender equality can only be achieved through t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates25/07/23 03:17 PM
0

The attractiveness of women willing to date me steadily increased as I approached my 30s. While women may be aging overall, there are still plenty of very attractive women that take care of themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 01:53 PM
1

I'm not advocating for any form of relationship, nor condoning cheating. Just stating facts and definitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 02:43 AM
-6

Prior to a relationship, what do men and women tend to want and struggle to get? A lot of men tend to want casual sex, and women want an emotional connection. Within a relationship, what is the definition of cheating? Is it finding an emotional connection with others, or having casual sex with others? Cheating is defined to penalize men's interest in sex, but a woman could meet and "just be friends with" your replacement all the way up until the divorce and it's totally cool as long as she doesn…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/23 02:17 AM
1

Women are held more accountable for being toxically unrealistic in social circle situations. If an average friend of a friend hits on you, you at least have to hear them out whereas at the DMV or Target or on dating apps or whatever you can just ignore any guy under 6’5”. In common interest situations, the guy is also there for the common interest. If you’re toxically unrealistic, you know he’s going to be chilling around silently judging you so you have to at least hear him out. Physically desi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 08:50 PM
3

That theory speaks to magnitude, not quantity. If you sum each instance of sexual desire and magnitude, women's sum is still much much less. Also it sounds like you're basically just rewording the idea that women tend to, in general, have unrealistic physical standards for men such that they're only physically attracted to a small, top subset.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/23 01:05 PM
5

Tell that to all the women who generalized the Jonah Hill situation to hate on men lol. Complaining is not a feminine thing, nor is generalizing. Women do it all the time too, but men tend to be the ones that get called out and demonized for doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 04:43 PM
8

Complaining has nothing to do with masculinity. Do you want the guys to go beat women up or something like a gorilla? Everyone is allowed to complain, it’s healthy. Men are maintaining frame by sticking to their beliefs about women. Women were the original pioneers of gendered complaining groups. They created safe women-only or coven-only spaces to complain about men. So, men just followed suit. For example, women are now the pioneers of posting pics to Facebook groups of tens of thousands of wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/23 02:23 PM
5

Do you just ignore the swaths of articles that defended Sarah and used it as an opportunity to hate on men?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/23 02:29 AM
0

Marriageability depends on standards. Also, being marriageable doesn’t ensure mutual marriageability. Far less women than men are willing to marry a partner that just eats healthy and exercises regularly. Thus, overall marriageable women are not rare, but mutually marriageable women aka marriageable women to whom you are also marriageable may be exceedingly rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 03:49 PM
5

When I was on dating apps, many women didn’t take advantage of tons of safety techniques/resources that were available to them because they had a “gut feeling” that I was safe. I only had two women ever video call me and ask me to show them my place to make sure I didn’t live in some windowless bare-walled sex dungeon. Someone needs to put together a social experiment and get a bunch of ugly and hot guys and measure the net total sum of women’s subjective feelings of “safety” because I think the…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/23 04:59 AM
4

The speed at which this turned into generalized man-bashing is astonishing. Men tend to have the expectation of agency placed upon them. If you are in a relationship, how would you feel if your boyfriend actively approached and talked to attractive women? Wouldn’t that make you feel shitty? Insecure? It’s pretty normal to feel this way because there’s a general expectation for men in a relationship to moderate their agency and stop approaching attractive women. Now, what are women expected to mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 11:38 PM
4

Yea I was down bad. Literally in withdrawal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 10:54 PM
–

I think there may be some general confusion surrounding hypergamy. Hypergamy is technically the act of “marrying up” and not necessarily wanting to marry up. In my opinion, however, desiring hypergamy is still being hypergamous. Women ending up with men of similar status is because of hypergamy, not evidence against it. If women were not hypergamous you’d expect to see more instances of hypogamy. Instead, women are more likely to end up with men of similar status because they are hypergamous, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 06:17 PM
5

A lot of what I know about sex I owe to one short, crazy, very attractive blonde gamer girl that I met on Tinder who loved skinny nerdy guys and was my FWB for several months. The sex was indeed wild and I quickly became addicted to her. I didn’t have much sexual experience so… she taught me. She enjoyed teaching and teasing me. To teach me where her clit was, she threw me onto the bed, hopped on, and started fingering herself while slowly grinding on me saying this is where my clit is, dumb dum…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 05:46 PM
–

Hypergamy is the female equivalent of polygyny. It’s attraction to top, high-status men. It adapts to whatever factors/traits contribute to high-status, whether they be biological, cultural, social, or a mix. Top men have no incentive to stop being polygynous. Non-top men don’t have much agency in convincing women to stop throwing themselves at top men. The only people with the power and incentive to change anything are women. Women do this already, however, it’s usually not until they start get…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 04:37 PM
1

Why do you think dating apps became that way? Tinder came out in like 2008, why didn’t it just become 50/50? The same issues that led to the gender imbalance on dating apps also exist in real life, it’s just a lot easier to see and study on dating apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 04:13 PM
1

Loneliness is hard to measure. Imagine that a single man and single woman, each with a solid friend group, look at the UCLA Loneliness Scale. The woman can more easily get casual intimacy and attention from men, while the man cannot. This causes the man to hyperfixate on his romantic loneliness and be more subjectively unhappy about it. The woman is thinking I have great friends and just haven't found the one yet. The guy is thinking I have great friends but I'm going to be single forever becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 02:36 PM
1

<10 percent. Most care about height a little bit and that’s okay. There’s a difference between healthy and unhealthy height preference. Guys are 4-5” taller than women on average so it’s fairly normal to want a guy that’s a little taller. You’re 5’8” so there are TONS of women shorter than you. The issue is women with very toxic standards for men that look down on (but technically up at) men that aren’t 7-9” taller than them with contempt.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 01:44 PM
0

I am very realistic about who I can get. My standards were based on my past relationships, not women’s extreme undervaluation of men on online dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 01:34 PM
1

Pew recently found that one in five young partnered adults met online. It also appears to be growing given that across partnered adults of all ages it’s 1 in 10. Online dating as a whole seems pretty valid to me, as are men’s complaints and frustrations about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 01:32 PM
5

My girlfriend nor I are obese. Not even overweight. Not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 11:25 AM
0

Tinder is where I met my girlfriend. It’s totally valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 11:24 AM
5

I’m 5’9” and didn’t really know height was such a big deal until I got to college. I did get noticeably more interest from non-US women. However, this might have a sample bias. The women open-minded enough to go to an entirely different country may also have traits like open-mindedness that make them more likely to overlook height.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 03:04 AM
2

Just being open minded and asking about it is a huge first step. What are three specific gender issues you would like to address? I will explain how each issue is currently blamed on men and how women could also help.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 02:08 AM
3

What are the virtues of masculinity and femininity?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 07:16 PM
4

Feminism turned from a weapon against oppression into a weapon of oppression, with an occasional sprinkle of addressing the rapidly diminishing remaining women’s issues in westernized countries that haven’t been invented out of pathologization of men. The biggest enemy of actual feminism is the misandry and women’s supremacy within.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 06:55 PM
8

We should start using all the things feminism has been using, but stop directing them only at men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 06:24 PM
12

There are so many better ways, but you have to get off your high horse of condescension first and that clearly ain’t happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 06:07 PM
15

My college ex was a ballroom dancer turned CS major. Careers took us separate ways. My ex after that was a nurse obsessed with cross fit. She was also taller than me. She was emotionally abusive tho so I broke up. Now, my girlfriend is a dancer turned social worker. I love her a lot and she’s moving in soon. The problem was never me, it’s just women tend to undervalue comparably desirable single guys. I lucked out because my girlfriend wasn’t on Tinder very long. She had just gotten on and we ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 05:39 PM
13

Because forcing men to compete for access to sex and reproduction has always perpetuated patriarchy by causing men to have to grow taller, stronger, more aggressive, and dominant. And, it’s abundantly clear that women perpetuate this too with unrealistic and unhealthy preferences for men’s height. You can’t just keep the competitive aspects of patriarchy and pathologize all the effects. You can have egalitarian society and sex, or you can have patriarchal society and sex. Pick one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 05:29 PM
23

Above-average guys can still struggle to get attention from comparably desirable above-average girls while still getting attention from below average girls. For example, I was curious why I had thousands of likes on Tinder and never got any matches so I paid for a month to discover that we do indeed have an obesity epidemic. Edit: Regarding the argument of “obese women are my looksmatch”, my standards when I was on the apps were based on my past relationship experience, not women’s extreme under…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 05:18 PM
24

How about we start out by not blaming everything exclusively on men?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 03:51 PM
12

Some more studies. According to a study by Alexandra Killewald For marriages formed after 1975, husbands’ lack of full-time employment is associated with higher risk of divorce, but neither wives’ full-time employment nor wives’ share of household labor is associated with divorce risk. Expectations of wives’ homemaking may have eroded, but the husband breadwinner norm persists. Attitudes toward Bisexual Men and Women among a Nationally Representative Probability Sample of Adults in the United St…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 03:18 PM
1

Abs is not a body type. 5 has the exact same body type as one of those other women but worked her ass off for those which is admirable. Otherwise I like 3, that’s my girlfriend’s body type.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 01:09 PM
6

There is a very simple solution to this. Men won’t approach if they can more easily find what they’re looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 01:03 PM
1

The “men are bitter from losing their power” argument is a perfect example of misandry that contributes to the issues men face today. Young men born today have no idea what it was like in 1950 or whatever. They aren’t comparing today to the past. They face real, unique issues in the present that get invalidated, dismissed, ignored, and blamed on them because of the past. A past they played no part in. Older women are taking out their hate on young men. The biology part relates to men’s higher at…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 12:50 PM
6

It’s not just up to men to fix it, and that perspective is one of the biggest obstacles in the way of actually changing anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 04:30 AM
1

female selectivity Recipe for approach approach approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 04:11 AM
4

Women's selectivity contributes to men's agency. Because women are so selective, men must approach approach approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 02:03 AM
10

First of all, this whole situation makes it painfully clear that misandry exists because so many women are hopping on the opportunity to bash on all men. Are straight men okay? Umm well no, hordes of women seem to take every available opportunity to hate and degrade us. Guess what? Women can be emotionally abusive too. Special shout out to my ex for that one, but I'm not going to go posting her texts online to launch some crusade against women. Here is how this situation should've gone: Jonah: T…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/23 01:37 AM
3

People tend to act different when they’re “on the prowl” vs in a relationship. It’s disrespectful for your partner to continue to act like you are “on the prowl”. This looks different for men and women and is unique to each couple, hobby, and lifestyle. In a relationship, both men and women can be respectful of their partner by adapting hobbies and lifestyle from single life to relationship life. Men tend to have a greater expectation of agency placed upon them in dating. Women, do not. The expe…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 09:26 PM
1

Young (tall) women don’t feel pressured to compromise for a relationship. They get a lot of attention and can get casual intimacy pretty easily so they feel comfortable shooting for the moon when they’re young. Why go straight for a realistic guy when you might be able to lock down Prince Charming? Since women tend to, in general, prefer taller guys, they just romantically/casually interact with the more preferred taller guys and ignore the less preferred shorter guys when they’re young. Unsurpr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 08:40 PM
1

Personally, I found more success in online dating and met my girlfriend on Tinder. Bars and clubs are competitive high group size environments too and height gets overemphasized because it’s a shallow, easily-assessed trait. While shorter men can definitely avoid shallow environments and just hit on their friends and women at grocery stores, we can also call out and discourage hyperselectivity for height in competitive high group size environments.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 03:46 PM
1

Research shows that women tend to most desire guys 7-9” taller, so there’s definitely an upper limit. However, since men are only about 5” taller on average, this creates competition. Competition is where things get interesting. What happens to women’s selectivity if you have 25 men and 25 women do speed dating, and then a 100 men and 100 women do speed dating? There’s a study on this that found men’s selectivity is more invariant to increasing dating group size. What this means is that if a wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 02:55 PM
–

It’s not a dealbreaker at all! My college ex was a ballroom dancer turned CS major. It was fun being in a lot of classes together. I had an affinity for math and programming so I was able to pick things up quickly and tutor her which also helped me reinforce my understanding as well. We both applied to similar companies but she got some amazing offers from top tech companies while I did not. So, our careers took us separate ways and we ended things as friends after 3.5 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 02:37 PM
2

The Jonah Hill situation is all-around dumb. He was hella insecure and went to therapy for it. Rather than actually working through the issues, he just learned therapy language and used it to manipulate her. Rather than just break up and move on like any normal person would do, she decided to disparage him for clout and revenge. She could’ve just given her own personal account without leaking texts and just said she had the texts as proof, but instead she just dumps them out of spite. They are b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 02:11 PM
3

Growing up as a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/23 02:00 PM
10

I don’t think most men have much of a sex life to begin with. It’s not like enriching home-cooked meals with premium ingredients, it’s more like being able to pay for a nice refreshing glass of water every now and then as you wander through a vast desert where the oases pathologize you for being thirsty.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 07:40 PM
2

If you listen to the therapist’s account of Jonah’s weaponized therapy language, he says that Jonah can still express how he feels. If you’re a misandrist, you would perceive this as “trying to control her” but Jonah still has those feelings and is allowed to express them. There’s a difference between expressing one’s feelings, and weaponizing therapy language to manipulate. Sometimes, someone’s honest feelings may be inherently controlling but they are still allowed to be expressed. The real is…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 05:30 PM
–

People rarely have public social media. You have to ask them if you can stalk. There are plenty of guys out there that aren’t cheaters. I call it having healthy and realistic standards. You can choose to call that “coercing women into dating men they aren’t interested in” if that’s what you want. But stop blaming men, the problem is you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 04:50 PM
–

You can easily vet cheating by just stalking social media and avoiding people that “aren’t big into social media”. Yes, everyone puts their best foot forward. That’s how dating works. Men bring out their best behavior and women put in tons of effort into their makeup and clothes. This is why you should date for a while before marrying someone. You can’t conceal your criminal history unless a judge or the law allows it. If the judge or the law allows it, you need to respect it. This how criminal …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 04:30 PM
2

That would mean you’re not a conceited gym girl. I’m talking specifically about conceited gym girls described by OP: The girls who are really in shape but also have an ego about them because they know they are hot and wear tight revealing clothes
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 03:21 PM
–

What do you mean there isn’t any way to vet people? Of all the women I met on dating apps I had only TWO ever ask to video chat with me. Many women stalk your social media and I still have tons of matches still lurking around as insta followers even after posting my girlfriend for years. Many women ask for your full name so they can Google you and search for crimes. Almost all women just go on the first few dates some place public. You’re surrounded in tons and tons of people that will immediate…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 03:18 PM
8

I mean yes hot conceited gym girls are hot, but they will only be into tall, high-status, ultra-desirable guys that feed their narcissism. Most guys’ opinions here, including mine, are biased knowing that those kinds of girls look down on non-high-status guys under 6’2” with contempt.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 02:09 PM
1

The same guys that stick around as you withhold sex would also stick around if you had sex with them. It’s not the sex, it’s the kind of guys you go for. Guys are more willing to compromise their own needs for a woman that is more holistically relatively desirable than other women they are able to get. By withholding sex, you’re just finally exercising realistic initial standards in a roundabout way while also penalizing and cucking the decent guys that are actually in your league (which can be …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/23 01:08 PM
57

It is 100% possible to have unrealistic INITIAL expectations/standards. Emphasis on the INITIAL part. It's tempting to jack up your physical standards when you have lots of options but, in doing so, you're more likely to meet guys that aren't as excited about you, see you as "just another option", and treat you as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 11:44 PM
15

Many women don't feel like their purpose in life is to give birth, they discover purpose elsewhere. Why isn't the same thing happening to men? I think it's because of misandry, gynocentrism, and a need for empowering everyone, not just women. In 1972 there was a 13% gap in male bachelor's degree attainment over women. In 1982, that gapped closed. In 2019, there was a 14% gap of women attaining bachelor's degrees over men (source). Feminists fought to dismiss the influence of biology so they coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 09:09 PM
2

I assume you're referring to strategic pluralism aka "dual-mating strategy" where women pursue casual sex with very attractive men and want commitment and other things from more realistic, average men. This does not have to involve having multiple partners. The dual part comes from the differing strategies. What I am saying is that men probably do have a dual mating strategy based on their self-perception of attractiveness. It has nothing to do with wives vs mistresses. A man with a wife and mis…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/23 01:53 AM
6

You're saying that men's dual mating strategy is finding a wife and then having side chicks, but from a biological standpoint this is essentially just one strategy: have a harem of multiple women. Your theory also doesn't account for men's self perception of attractiveness. Men who think they are hotter are more likely to want casual sex. For example, this study's findings support the existing evidence of the importance of physical attractiveness in calibrating men’s reproductive strategies but …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/23 06:49 PM
0

All the guys I know want the girl they are dating to have some sexual history and experience. They do not want to be teaching a girl how to have sex. They just don't want her to be asymmetrically more "experienced" which is a combo of things including body count. However, it is extremely easy for women to accidentally bypass the body count of comparably desirable guys because it's so hard for most young guys to get sex. My body count as a guy from 18 to 28 averages to one per year (includes six …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 08:16 PM
2

Feminism isn't just about women's rights and has done a LOT more behind the scenes. Feminism toppled oppressive norms and expectations placed on women, many of which related heavily to a woman's attractiveness. Feminism never said "you need to be attracted to ____ " it was more like "it's toxic and oppressive for men to expect women to ____ " which created shifts in the cultural norms and expectations. Well there are ALSO oppressive norms and expectations placed on men. Just because they are pot…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 07:59 PM
3

I literally called this argument out like 5 comments ago. Any attempt to hold women accountable for this is met with “oh look over there at those men still doing bad things” Women can and do have toxic expectations for men and masculinity regardless of whether some men somewhere also have them. Just because it manifests as attraction doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. Feminism spent decades hammering in the influence of socialization on behavior only to magically and suddenly forget that when the time…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 06:19 PM
2

Ok well when too many people conform to toxic standards it becomes oppression, so you’re just arbitrarily drawing the line when and where it’s most convenient for you, but not necessarily when and where it’s best for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 06:03 PM
5

What do you mean? Feminism is now very much about toppling arbitrary gender constructs, many of which relate to standards of attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 04:19 PM
2

I’m on mobile so it’s a little harder to make long responses but just because I condemn hypocrisy within feminism doesn’t mean I think all of feminism is bad. I agree with a lot of feminism except the parts that are hypocritical and/or start to oppress, pathologize, demean, and invalidate men. For example, I just found out my girlfriend’s work doesn’t have paid maternity leave and I’m like what the actual fuck. If she decides to have a child down the road, that impacts her career and penalizes h…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 04:17 PM
12

I think a lot of resentment is directed at hypocrisy in feminism. When the weapon of wokeness turns their way, many women aren’t so eager to support feminism. This created choice feminism where women’s toxic expectations of masculinity are empowered as a preference. Any attempt to hold women accountable for this is met with “oh look over there at those men still doing bad things” or “hey have you tried being gay yet?”
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 03:04 PM
11

I dated a very fit and attractive ballroom dancer turned computer scientist for 3-years in college. Our careers took us separate ways after college though so we ended on good terms. Suddenly, my “value” in dating halves. As a single, cardio-fit average-height guy at 23, all the cardio-fit average-height women are somehow out of my league. Wait, what happened? I have to fight a constant uphill battle to get attractive women just to take me seriously and give me a chance while hordes of obese vult…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/23 12:57 PM
2

Being sexually desired by many people is 100% the most important because it helps you meet more people and explore. Exploration helps you: Figure out what you need/want in a partner (and what you don't want or need) Meet shitty people and have shitty experiences that help you better appreciate the one when you find them Stay confident and secure during your search from all the validation If "the one" just magically appears when you turn 18, you won't love them. You won't appreciate them. You'll …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 11:08 PM
2

Couldn't even get it up for a 3 so would have to go for starfish 10.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 06:23 PM
3

I'm pretty sure the majority of OnlyFans is guys paying unenthusiastic 10s just to acknowledge they exist and would gladly add sex to the equation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 05:49 PM
1

Checking insta, they’re either still single or with very average looking tall rich dudes. One surprisingly married an average looking average-height rich dude. The two most ambitious ones are still single. One does something fancy in NYC and the other became a lawyer.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/23 04:08 PM
12

I think wording it that way is confusing. Making her feel UNsafe is the biggest factor in UNattraction. Feeling safe around a guy is bare minimum. Feeling safe from other guys is also a factor but probably not the biggest. That’s why women like height. Being taller than 84% of guys (6’) helps you fight off other guys if needed. It’s very annoying tho because it’s like a nuclear arms race for height. Women keep sexually selecting for height to feel “safe” and then create even taller guys that mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/23 08:52 PM
1

I feel like single men and women both weren't able to find someone. However, the women have easier access to casual intimacy while the men do not.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 05:13 PM
3

Video games aren’t the only asocial hobby and they are being increasingly marketed to women (sims, animal crossing, etc.). There are many asocial hobbies more popular with women too like reading romance fiction. Again, there’s still something encouraging women with asocial hobbies to be social but discouraging the men. Masturbation is widely accepted by the medical community as having positive health effects. It’s not an “easy route,” it’s considered a healthy and normal way to relieve stress an…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 05:20 PM
1

Young women enjoy a “boost” in attractiveness over comparably desirable young men during peak fertility that slowly fades over time. Women can significantly slow the speed at which it fades with a healthy diet and consistent exercise. That same OkCupid study saw that women switch from preferring older men to slightly younger men in their 40s. This is because men age too, it’s just a little bit slower in general. Associated pressure/stigma is just a subtle reminder to women: don’t waste your boos…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 04:41 PM
5

So if parents are causing young men to become asocial, why is something different happening for young women? Why are only 34% of young women single compared to 63% of young men? I think it’s because it’s not just parents, it’s societal sexism against young men. Young men start feeling biologically attracted to women but then get hated and pathologized for it. Their natural attraction is condemned as “objectification” and “sexualization” and they feel hated and out of place. So, they figure out t…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 03:22 PM
3

We're talking about average and above average young men. According to the CDC, about 1 in 36 children has been identified with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). If 63% of young men are single because they are asocial, it's probably because we're doing something to make them asocial, not them all just making bad choices. Once again this is just misandristically trying to blame everything on men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 02:39 PM
2

If you follow the Pew source in the first link, 63% of 18-29 men are single compared to 34% of 18-29 women. However, the number of single men falls all the way down to 25% for 30-49. The real issue isn't that all average+ men struggling, it's that young average+ men are struggling and this causes tons and tons of issues down the road for men and women. Personally, I think this is because young women have unrealistic and unhealthy standards for young men and we're deathly afraid of admitting and …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:43 PM
0

What becomes clear when the traits above are viewed collectively is that humans fall within the range of variation typical of pairbonded species. The lack of exaggerated sexual dimorphism or testis size seems to rule out a history of elevated reproductive skew typical of highly promiscuous or polygynous mating systems. Instead, biological indicators suggest a mating system where both sexes form a long-term pairbond with a single partner (Møller, 2003). And while polygyny was likely present in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 11:25 AM
1

Numbering your paragraphs. Without casual sexual asymmetry, men won't be constantly obsessed with trying to pursue women for sex since they already have a healthy and realistic avenue to get it. This creates a different, more comfortable dynamic when young men and women meet that can help women be more comfortable with establishing an emotional connection when meeting new male friends. Criminals exist, yes, but not every man is a criminal. I think this tends to be an excuse to help feel better a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/23 01:10 AM
0

List the top ones. I will go through each one and explain how closing the gap in casual sexual asymmetry (or associated steps/effects) will help. Keep in mind that some things are a cycle so you just have to slowly push the equilibrium in the desired direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 11:13 PM
0

Why don’t women want casual sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 09:49 PM
0

Our sexual interests are polygynous, not monogamous. Polygyny is literally encoded into our DNA hinting that we have 2X more female ancestors than male. Polygyny sucks. No one wants to be the sexless incel or the second favorite harem wife. More people lose than win. It also perpetuates patriarchal biology. Rather than worrying about caretaking and parental investment, males just grow tall, big, strong, and dominant so they can fight off other males, grow their harem, and have tons and tons of s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 09:48 PM
1

The asymmetry is to blame and there is a bit of a self-fulfilling cycle. It won’t fix itself overnight. Women hate men and male sexual desire because there’s so much of it. There’s so much of it because women hate it so much and it’s hard for men to get. We’ve been trying the “pathologizing men and male sexual desire” method for a while and it’s clearly not working, so let’s try making some progress on the other end.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 09:03 PM
0

Religion is in steep decline, yet double standards in body count stigma remain. Why? It’s because modern pathologization of male sexual desire creates casual sexual asymmetry that turns guys into “keys” and women into “locks”. A key that opens many locks is great, but a lock that opens to many keys is not so great. Young, less-religious men are more sex-positive overall, including their perception of female sexuality, but then they enter the dating world and get slapped in the face with sex-nega…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 08:18 PM
4

Not a parent. Age is just a number. We are biological beings and everyone is different. I’d just play it by ear and prefer logos over ethos. Give them the knowledge, advice, and reason they need to thrive and succeed and maybe a small push here and there but let them figure out the rest themselves. If they’re going to succeed in life they need to be able to intrinsically motivate themselves, not be constantly extrinsically motivated by parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 07:20 PM
21

Change male in-group bias to be just as high as female in-group bias.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 06:04 PM
1

I feel like women have baseline expectations for physical/cultural masculinity that often tends to be high but flexible. For example, if a woman is willing to date a shorter guy he needs to be muscular and/or high-attaining and ambitious. If a woman is willing to date an equally-attaining guy he needs to be taller. If a woman is willing to date a lower-attaining guy he needs to be very tall and masculine. Extremely few women are able to completely drop baseline expectations of masculinity and da…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 04:25 PM
1

I think a symptom of unrealistic standards is not being “attracted” to anyone around you in your lifestyle. I don’t think it’s that common overall, but it’s more common in the single population because people like that are more likely to be single. However, attraction for women tends to be different. It’s rarely an “I’d smash”, it’s more of a “the door is open”. So, women’s standards are only unrealistic if the door has never been open for anyone in her lifestyle. Many women may be friends with …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/23 02:31 PM
2

THIS is why women travel and study abroad more. You don’t have to worry about being stigmatized as a creep everywhere you go.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 08:16 PM
43

That’s not the best strategy, it complements the best strategy of putting yourself out there and getting rejected over and over and over and over and over again. Treating it as a joke just helps you stay sane in the face of endless rejections.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/23 01:30 PM
–

I am myself a 22 Year old dude that never struggled with women I currently have 3 Fwbs A well-watered garden knows no thirst; those who have abundance in their lives need not incessantly yearn.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:35 PM
2

A short probationary period before you can take PTO is pretty standard, but too long without benefits is tiring and draining. Everyone needs a nice vacation every once and while and can be very appreciative of a company that treats them like a person, not a disposable asset. Plus, if you do stay long-term with the company, you’re going to have benefits. So, the sooner you get those, the sooner you can get a realistic idea of what actually working for the company long-term will be like. Entry-lev…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 10:06 PM
2

Employees wanting a fun job with good benefits are a dime a dozen because that’s literally everyone. No one is going to just be unconditionally loyal to your company for little in return. Your problem with high employee turnout might be because you keep only hiring overqualified candidates that can easily get jobs and better benefits elsewhere. If you want more loyalty, you need to invest in less qualified candidates without compromising their pay or benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:51 PM
2

Empower your sons and daughters and stand up for both if anyone tries to bring them down.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:27 PM
4

Well if they lack experience then technically they’re not a job hopper, and just because someone has hopped jobs doesn’t mean they’re unwilling to stop for a fun job with great benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 08:24 PM
1

Rotating out decorations for Valentine’s Day, Easter, cinco de mayo, July 4th, end of summer, fall, Halloween, Thanksgiving, AND Christmas stored in dozens and dozens of bins. 4 seasons max plz. Not being able to place frequently-accessed items on counter space because that’s where some stupid and pointless block of wood that says “home” goes. Obsessively cleaning and clearing every surface as if we live in a bio safety lab. Pretending like the world will end if items remain in their original st…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 05:10 PM
30

Dating women is like finding a job. You can decorate your resume with as much fluff as you want but at some point you need realistic experience. A lot of guys don’t need advice, they need a damn chance at an internship. Nepotism and being born rich also greatly help your prospects of finding employment. The longer you go without getting a chance, the more fucked you become. Women wonder about the gaps in your resume, and the lack of experience is unappealing. Meanwhile, everyone keeps blaming it…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:49 PM
-1

That’s what happens when you grow up in a society that pathologizes and hates you for being male and showers women with praise and empowerment. The world makes you feel like an inadequate loser so you just escape into video games where you actually feel important and wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 04:01 PM
1

If I could actually find an attractive woman that is more successful than me, isn’t hypergamous, doesn’t condescendingly shower me with expectations to do things I don’t enjoy, and loves me for being myself? Yes I would move in as a tenant. However, that situation never happens. When women earn more their expectations go through the roof and they get a “unrealistically desirable guy or bust” mentality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 12:49 PM
–

Why make a distinction between dating and courting? You can be going on dates with someone, having sex with them, and have a shared purpose of gauging compatibility. Furthermore, this form of courting would be closer to what being in a relationship or married would actually look like so it is more effective at gauging compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:11 AM
1

Oh I’m not saying there isn’t research on gender and leadership. I’m saying if a study is published favoring women leaders, it’s more likely to get media attention and be more positively received.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:09 AM
6

I disagree, I think a lot of advice is for men to “improve” and go get hobbies and not be super generic and only like hiking, Netflix, sports, beer, and food. What you’re thinking of is probably how men have to be as unoffending and perfect as possible to avoid being rejected before they even get a damn date.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 01:03 AM
1

A well-watered garden knows no thirst; those who have abundance in their lives need not incessantly yearn.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 12:59 AM
1

A well-watered garden knows no thirst; those who have abundance in their lives need not incessantly yearn.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 12:57 AM
1

I mentioned this down the comment chain but this study published to the British Psychological Society looked at reactions to research describing sex differences in a sample of western and a sample of southeast Asians and found In Study 1, Western participants (N = 492) viewed a fictional popular-science article describing either a male-favouring or a female-favouring sex difference (i.e., men/women draw better; women/men lie more). Both sexes reacted less positively to the male-favouring differe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/23 12:48 AM
1

It's Argumentum ad Ignorantiam and not a conspiracy. Go ask literally anyone trying to actively research male issues. For example, in his book Of Boys and Men scholar Richard Reeves writes: Even so, I have been reluctant to write this book. I have lost count of the number of people who advised against it. In the current political climate, highlighting the problems of boys and men is seen as a perilous undertaking. One friend, a newspaper columnist, said, “I never go near these issues if I can av…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 11:38 PM
5

You linked a study earlier “that identifies why people think men are better leaders and the bias that has on women”, yet here you dismiss discrimination against men in female-dominated fields with the very same logic you condemn. “Oh female teachers are better because they are more safe”. Men are statistically more likely than women to risk their own life to save another. If a criminal invades my kids school, I’d rather have a male teacher there because he’s ready to give up his life to fight an…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 07:56 PM
1

This isn’t a problem exclusive to women. Men face stigma and discrimination in feminized female-dominated jobs too. Another study. And if you read the studies, they find MORE discrimination against men in the female-dominated fields than women face in male-dominated fields.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 07:18 PM
8

Um you realize it's not 1902 anymore right? In 1972 there was a 13% gap in male bachelor's degree attainment over women. In 1982, that gapped closed. In 2019, there was a 15% gap of women attaining bachelor's degrees over men. Men are also a minority of psychologists and the gap continues to grow. In 1972 this would be called "oppression". Today, it's "gee we can't figure out how this is happening, oppression against men can't possibly exist, it must just be because they are stupid and biologica…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 06:08 PM
5

This is confirmation bias. Publishing academic critiques to these would be career suicide.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 05:24 PM
3

Oh don’t worry, he’s addressing it frequently into socks or showers. And what if they just get into the relationship “in exchange” for sex? Wouldn’t it be nice to completely eliminate that possibility?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 03:33 AM
6

Because withholding sex doesn’t alleviate lust and just incentivizes the guy to rush into a relationship to get it. Been there, done that. If you’re dating a guy that’s realistically in your league and you’re a few dates deep and vibing, just have sex. It will help him get rid of the lust and focus on personality and compatibility. This is how I met my girlfriend. We had sex after the second date and just stayed sexually active for a few months of casual dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 01:51 AM
10

Many women attribute negative dating outcomes to having sex, not the choice of guy. If you have sex with a guy out of your league, he has tons of options just as desirable as you. It wasn't the sex that made him leave, it was the guy you chose. However, many women attribute this to the sex, not the guy, and will take this out on more realistic guys expecting them to "prove their intentions" by not wanting sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/23 01:04 AM
8

If someone "still doesn't want you" that means they are out of your league. It's not insulting for someone out of your league to be out of your league. It's insulting when women take out their past choices of men on the guys they can actually lock down long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 10:57 PM
5

You can’t really change who someone is attracted to once sociocultural factors have taken root, but you can definitely change the sociocultural factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:30 PM
2

I’m saying healthy, average-height bodies with average levels of attainment is a reasonable standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 04:19 PM
6

Overweight women with pale fair skin used to be the female standard of beauty in many cultures. Now it’s not. Why? Because sociocultural factors influence who we’re attracted to. Many women have unrealistic physical standards for men because they grow up seeing other women wanting those traits. Rather than trying to normalize obesity, we could normalize realistic expectations for men’s height, status, attainment and less sexually size dimorphic relationships. This would cause more women to just …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/23 03:47 PM
1

This view is based entirely on women caring about status aka what other people think of the man. Seeing other people reject a man lowers his status. If a man hits on everyone in your group that has a boyfriend, that still lowers his status because of the relationship between status and demand. Someone high status is more likely to be in high demand and therefore more “expensive” aka selective. If women do care about status then, yes, they won’t like a guy that hits on and/or is rejected by their…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 05:27 PM
1

My family immigrated from somewhere in Scandinavia in the late 1800s/early 1900s to some small farming town in the northwest U.S. My paternal grandma got pregnant out of wedlock and fled town in shame to a major city and put the baby up for adoption. She got pregnant again from someone else, and put the baby up for adoption. However, the original father was pressured/encouraged to find her, marry her, and provide for her and did so because men faced sociocultural religious pressure back then too…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 04:53 PM
1

Imagine if a I see a picture of a woman crocheting and think she crochets? Eww! Do you not think that's shallow? You're allowed to say no for whatever the heck you want but anything you reject someone for before actually getting to know them is inherently shallow. That's literally what shallow means, you haven't "dived in" yet. Stop trying to shame men for being shallow when women are just as shallow, if not more. Then what ARE women allowed to say no for? Not for height, looks, income, lack of …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 03:23 PM
2

I think the belief that we should accept and embrace any women’s standards no matter what is founded in restitution and misandry, not equality. We should be seeking to eliminate unhealthy and restrictive norms/standards placed on men just as we are doing for women. We can’t just free women of their antiquated norms while turning a blind eye to the male protector and provider norms. Antiquated male norms are a major source of strife today. Men are being told to be cute sweet lil’ equal caretakers…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 02:29 AM
3

No one needs to be forced to do anything. Our behavior is influenced by biology and sociocultural factors. All we need to do is change a few sociocultural factors to encourage healthier standards and expectations for men and the asymmetry will shrink. I think the asymmetry itself is a source of the asymmetry, if that makes sense? Many women are selective because they have to be, and many men are constantly pressuring and pursuing because they have to be. As the sociocultural factors kick in and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 01:31 AM
4

Women think growing more critical and selective of men will bring them happiness, but it just causes more and more men to get less realistic experience with interacting with women in safe, positive, mutually-enjoyable ways. More and more men turn to OnlyFans and porn and get unhealthy and unrealistic views/standards of women because they don’t really know how to positively interact with women and never get much opportunity to do so. Rather than looking at the problem from a misandristic perspect…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/23 12:40 AM
-3

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. If sex makes men happy, they have the right to the pursuit of it (but not a right to sex itself). If women hate the resulting objectification and sexualization from men's right to the pursuit of sex, they should help men get access to what they want in safe, consensual, mutually-pleasurabl…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:52 PM
19

Guys don't just want "a girlfriend". They want a comparably desirable girlfriend with a similarly active lifestyle. The cognitive dissonance of being an out-of-shape single dude expecting super fit women is an insane gym motivation. When guys "put in the work" for a nice body, they expect interest from women with a nice body as well. However, many women with nice bodies have other priorities for things like height and status that the guy can't really change as easily. Also, if all guys suddenly …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 11:39 PM
3

There is a massive ongoing war against men to politicize research, deny the existence of biological sex differences, declare many aspects of female biology superior, and attribute all male behavior to sociocultural factors in order to justify stigmatizing and pathologizing them and brainwashing boys to be more like girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 01:12 PM
17

Assuming the app is opt-in for guys, I think it’ll be hilarious. First of all, very desirable guys usually don’t have an issue with dating so if a guy needs to “get endorsed” they’re probably compensating for something. Second, the app will bias extroverts because they have more friends, not that this bias doesn’t already occur in traditional online dating with women often expecting instant sparks. Third, if endorsements are for friends… if the guy is so great why aren’t you dating him? An endor…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/06/23 05:04 AM
1

Everyone has a right to their biology, and no one’s biology is superior or inferior. If women have to give birth, they have a right to their biology and they shouldn’t be penalized for it. If men have a biologically higher sex drive, they have a right to their biology and shouldn’t be pathologized for it. However, a right to one’s biology does not trump another’s. Women have a biologically higher sexual selectivity which is at odds with men’s higher casual sexual affinity (in general). While wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:38 AM
2

That stat is percentage swiped right on, not percentage of the entire male dating app population. So if a man and women each hop on dating apps and see 100 people, the woman only swipes on 7 and the man swipes on 40. This has absolutely nothing to do with ratios because, to each person, you have a seemingly limitless stream of option after option.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/23 02:24 AM
5

Those percentages are based on the profiles you swipe on, not the overall ratio. Also, both genders see pretty much the same thing: seemingly limitless options. Non 1:1 ratios aren’t a major factor in one’s selectivity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:30 PM
5

When you hop on a dating app, how do you see there are more men than women? How would you know that without looking up demographics online?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:47 PM
4

How do you see that on a dating app though? Both men and women just see one profile at a time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:46 PM
-2

When you hop on a dating app, how do you know there are more men? Both men and women see the exact same thing… just a seemingly endless stream of one profile after another.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:28 PM
2

It’s incredibly difficult to copy and paste but you are most welcome. So you must be well aware of how women can counteract low BMR by building lean tissue?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:18 PM
5

I think the “women take better photos” stereotype comes from women finding men less attractive. It’s easier for women’s photos to be “good” because of the overall higher net attraction from men. Women with “bad” photos still receive attention and never even realize. Men with bad photos, however, receive very little attention and so disproportionately more men post their “bad” photos for feedback online creating the stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 10:12 PM
-1

You can go to the gym for just 30 mins a day and focus on fat-burning lean-tissue building exercises to increase metabolism and change body composition. Example from GPT 4: You can adapt the program to a more "station-based" workout. This way, you will use only one or two pieces of equipment at a time, which is more feasible in a crowded gym. Here's a suggestion: Warm Up (5 minutes) 1. Light cardio (treadmill or stationary bike) Strength Training (20 minutes) Perform the following exercises in p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 09:49 PM
6

If countering your points and watching you dodge questions is trolling then sure. Guess I’m trolling?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 09:35 PM
13

Ah that must be why height is such a big deal since it’s such a great predictor of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 09:31 PM
3

http://www.stat.columbia.edu/~gelman/stuff_for_blog/sheena.pdf Finally, male selectivity is invariant to group size, while female selectivity is strongly increasing in group size. Christian Rudder in Dataclysm talking about OKCupid rating data: Only one guy in six is “above average” in an absolute sense. Sex appeal isn’t something commonly quantified like this, so let me put it in a more familiar context: translate this plot to IQ, and you have a world where the women think 58 percent of men are…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:25 PM
1

While we don’t really have access to per-subreddit demographic data, this redditor used a representative sample of subscribers with flairs to other subreddits to estimate gender demographics. While the majority were male-dominated, gonewild surprisingly was not per their findings.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:22 PM
-10

Well you downgraded from “one of the most commonly spread pieces of advice” to just “common advice” so sounds like you’re starting to get a little less confident about that. A short guy holding a puppy is going to get a lot less swipes than a tall guy holding a puppy. Also, how do you know it’s even their puppy? Still shallow. And hating guys because they go fishing is also shallow and harsh. You just dodged my question. If you hopped on a dating app how would you know there are more men or wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 08:09 PM
6

If men are being taught to swipe right on everyone, why take the time to select 40%? Why not just go for 50+%? Men are clearly still judging and selecting, just less harshly than women. Anything in a dating profile is part of your “looks”. It’s all just shallow traits/qualities. Judging a man for his clothes isn’t any less shallow than judging a woman for her weight. Both can be changed and can relate to one’s personality. Do you see everyone at once on a dating app? If you hop on an app, how do…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:54 PM
2

You’d expect gonewild to be predominantly male but the fact that the flair method didn’t find that despite finding many other subs to be male-dominated is interesting. Given the lack of any demographic data for r/amiugly, I think it sheds a little doubt on the idea that it’s male-dominated.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:43 PM
33

If women are judged more harshly for their appearance, why do men swipe on 40% of women on Tinder while women only swipe on 7% of men? Men are judged just as much for their appearance, if not more, by women. You see more instances of women being overtly negatively judged because of the expectation of agency placed on men. If women were as equally accepting of men’s appearance as vice versa and men could more passively achieve romantic and sexual success, they would gladly do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:31 PM
1

They used the subset of flaired subscribers as a representative sample. Unflaired lurker-subscribers could just as easily be women. It’s a debate sub, just because I’m passionately defending back doesn’t mean I hate you :P
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:22 PM
0

I’m not trying to do a comprehensive research study on health. I’m just stating a fact that helps support my claim that there may be higher rates of unhealthy obesity in women which could be why, despite your stat about men seemingly being more obese, many men complain about not being able to find a comparably fit woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:17 PM
1

It seems like it was subscribers, not just posters or commenters. And if you have more accurate per-subreddit demographic data to support your claim let’s see it
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:13 PM
3

Right, I’m saying the stats do not show otherwise. Men are healthier than women (per incidence of type 2 diabetes as a proxy, not just weight).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:08 PM
3

You said I’m not sure why men here talk about the difficulty of finding a woman who isn’t overweight when statistically, there are more “landwhale” men than women. Yet there is far more disgust and vitriol for bigger women, a bizarre impulse to take them down a peg. First of all, you using the word "landwhale" perpetuates the very same disgust and vitriol you condemn. Second of all, if you use incidence of type 2 diabetes as a proxy for measuring unhealthy levels of obesity then there are higher…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 07:04 PM
5

Men have more testosterone and muscle mass, which causes them to weigh more even if they are healthy and deceives obesity stats. Women tend to have higher incidence of type 2 diabetes. https://diabetesjournals.org/care/article/46/3/490/148482/Youth-Onset-Type-2-Diabetes-The-Epidemiology-of-an Lawrence JM, Divers J, Isom S, et al.; SEARCH for Diabetes in Youth Study Group. Trends in prevalence of type 1 and type 2 diabetes in children and adolescents in the US, 2001-2017. JAMA 2021;326:717–727 Ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:55 PM
3

That’s based on the assumption that the sub is male dominated which is possible… but we don’t have access to the gender demographics to confirm that. There was a redditor that used flairs to estimate gender ratios and gonewild was actually mostly female (source).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:46 PM
3

What do you think are the gender demographics of r/gonewild?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:39 PM
14

Well if you find less members of the opposite sex attractive, it’s a lot easier to spend less time thinking about attractiveness and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 06:01 PM
1

Both men and women can and should continue to “sort their shit out” with hygiene, health, and fitness and whatnot. However, I don’t think that would dramatically change anything because height continues to be a major factor for men. I think the biggest change would come from toppling the sociocultural expectation of sexually size dimorphic relationships. This helps both tall and/or muscular women and thin/ short men alike by eliminating the expectation that men need to always be massively bigger…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 05:06 PM
19

A comprehensive review of 150 studies found overwhelming evidence that men have a higher sex drive... reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures.1 Gay men also have more casual sex than lesbians, and lesbians do not differ much in casual …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 04:23 PM
0

Overweight women with pale fair skin were once the ideal standard of female beauty, perhaps because this was associated with high-class women that didn’t have to work/labor and had plentiful access to food. Standards are different today because of differing sociocultural factors. Thus, sociocultural factors can influence standards and we can use them to bridge the gap in desirability asymmetry by modeling realistic standards for healthy, average members of the opposite sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 04:14 PM
3

Even if the law isn’t being broken, a lot of women would feel objectified and sexualized and that’s a valid concern. I think the solution is trying to encourage and promote more men and women interacting in safe, consensual, mutually-enjoyable ways. This may involve pressuring men and women to have realistic standards for each other. More unrealistically selective people may end up receiving a proportionally larger amount of pressure.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 03:45 PM
2

So we’ve established freedom to pursue. Now, given biological differences, a lot of men may asymmetrically pursue women which will lead to women feeling objectified and sexualized. Given men’s right to pursuit, what is the best way to mitigate this objectification and sexualization?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 03:34 PM
2

I think everyone should be able to seek and cater to their biological desires. If men have a biologically higher sex drive, it's okay for them to seek and desire sex/women. If women are biologically more sexually selective, it's also okay for them to say no. In the past, I think there was a "compromise" in the form of sociocultural pressures placed on women. While women had the right to say no, men also had the right to pressure women for sex. These pressures may have been around for so long tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 03:12 PM
20

They just like men less than men like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 02:19 PM
91

Ever wonder why r/amiugly and pretty much every other rating sub is filled with women? It’s because your upvotes get biased by your attractiveness. More men find those average women attractive so they upvote them, but women do not find the average men attractive and just think “eww” and do not upvote.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 01:02 PM
1

Research shows that both men and women tend to focus more on easily-assessed qualities when given tons of options. So, the question then becomes, how do men’s and women’s selectivity compare when you increase the dating group size? In one study that didn’t even use online dating or anything, they just observed a smaller and larger speed dating event and found that women’s dating selectivity did not proportionally change to accommodate for the larger size (while men’s did). In other words, if the…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 12:21 PM
1

Imagine if aliens observed the situation. They would see that men and women have slightly different biology that causes instances of asymmetrical and unreciprocated desire. They would think that BOTH the man and woman are entitled to cater to, and shouldn’t be blamed for, their biology. They would notice that biology and sociocultural factors play a role in behavior and might logically conclude that, if men and women were truly equal, they would seek to compromise the gap between conflicting bio…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/23 11:42 AM
0

When someone goes “psycho-bunny-boiler” on you, you’re basically paying for others’ toxicity. Other people have rejected, ghosted, led-on, and hurt that person to the breaking point. We can definitely promote a toxic, defensive, every-person-for-themselves, I-don’t-owe-you-shit dating culture and just be assholes to everyone, telling anyone that feels anything to go to therapy. Or… we can promote more overall dating positivity by calling out and condemning assholes and asshole behavior, not thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/23 03:54 AM
3

According to Pew research, only 17% of U.S. women aged 30-49 claim to be single. Of the billions of guys on the planet, you're obviously doing something to select/filter guys and keep selecting/filtering guys you dislike. Rather than introspect and/or change how you filter, you just pathologize male sexual desire and condemn the entirety of men as disingenuous. If more women are projected to be single, it's probably because this mindset of delusional misandry is on the rise. Women would rather b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 11:40 PM
3

I didn't respond to half of your former comment because it's obviously just your own personal opinion but here... No I disagree, being able to receive validation/attention/casual sexual access even if you don't want it would helps you better appreciate/enjoy being single. Now for the most recent comment... This wasn't my thesis. I said that attractive quality men are more likely to get taken off the market which leaves more attractive non-quality men behind (as well as more average-attractive hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 09:02 PM
4

It all depends on the challenges of the environment and the most successful evolutionary strategy across time. Humans are inherently social creatures and will most likely continue to live in cooperative packs/societies as long as the only thing changing is egg-laying. Suppose you have groups A, B, and C where group A lives in an area with no natural predators and plentiful food, group B lives in an area with no natural predators and scarce food, and group C lives in an area with natural predator…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 08:34 PM
–

There's no such fucking thing as misandry against black men. Okay so how do you explain the FACT that Black men are half as likely as Black women to get any type of degree? To me it just sounds like you just spewed a bunch of misandry towards Black men and praise towards Black women, which just further supports my point. Black men are half as likely as Black women to get a degree because they face the intersection of racism and misandry.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:40 PM
20

I've argued about this before. First of all, mutual ghosting is totally fine. If your conversation ends with a good night or something and no one re-initiates, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now, if someone reinitiates, this is when ghosting starts to become morally questionable. The greater the expectation of emotional investment, the less acceptable ghosting becomes. If you're in love with yesterday's Tinder match, that's probably on you buddy. But the longer you talk/date, the g…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 07:20 PM
3

Perfect example
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 06:47 PM
2

A comprehensive review of 150 studies found overwhelming evidence that men have a higher sex drive... reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures.1 Gay men also have more casual sex than lesbians, and lesbians do not differ much in casual …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 06:15 PM
1

Au contraire, you're being solipsistic. Dating is a market with limited supply and high quality goods are in high demand, and you aren't the only woman in existence. What do you think happens to an attractive, high quality man with realistic standards that wants a nice stable relationship? HE'S GONNA GET TAKEN. Meanwhile, as all the attractive high-quality men get taken, what do you think happens to attractive low quality men? They just magically disappear? Uh no... they're all still there (alon…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 05:00 PM
9

Maybe because it feels empowering. Nowadays most boys and men don't really receive much affirmation, validation, or empowerment. It's just endless shame, blame, and pathologization.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:45 PM
4

You say you don't pathologize or demonize men, but you're still ultimately blaming men / men's actions. I don't think any man, regardless of his pill, blames women for getting male attention. It's more about how most women tend to have disproportionately more power to choose. That's not because of men or male actions, it's because of biology and the arbitrary sociocultural expectation of agency placed on men. Men are bitter because people choose to blame and pathologize men rather than embracing…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:42 PM
16

So should we just go tell all the feminists advocating for abortion to just be abstinent? I'm sure that'll go over well. Should we go and delete all the research showing the positive effects of masturbation on physical and mental health? Access to women isn't a right, but it doesn't mean you need to pathologize and demonize men and male sexual desire either. Sex is a natural and enjoyable part of our biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:09 PM
14

If you take a town's food supply away, you could totally condemn them for being hungry. That's definitely one way to look at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 04:03 PM
15

I didn't say being single and having casual sex, I said being single with casual sexual access/validation. It's easier to be happy single when you feel like you could just get some casual intimacy anytime if you wanted it. Also side tangent but guys probably seem to suck at casual sex because of the distribution of women's sexual selection. Hotter guys don't have to worry as much about pleasuring you because they have tons of options and can just nut and run. The guys that would actually want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:43 PM
19

If an average single woman thinks all men are thirsty pigs, men would still interact with her which would remind/reinforce her choice and decision to be single. If an average guy is single because he can't get any women, women would just continue ignoring him. He never gets any affirmation/validation/reinforcement whatsoever.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:33 PM
18

Nah it's disingenuous because women are less forthcoming with affirmation and validation to single men than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:19 PM
27

I think for everyone, men and women, it's Good relationship > being single with casual sexual access/validation > single without any casual sexual access/validation No one wants a bad relationship. Most single women are in the middle category and most single men are in the last category, hence why single women seem happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:17 PM
3

Sounds like they’re being realistically picky. Why date you if there’s more attractive men out there? They weren't able to find what they were looking for, hence the dramatic increase in success I experienced as I aged.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 03:02 PM
3

It looks like there are just as many female laureates in the past 20 years as there were in the 100 years before that. 100 years isn't enough time for people's biology to dramatically change, so what else could it be? Perhaps some sociocultural factors? Hmm. I know feminists pathologize the absolute shit out of men and male biology, but it doesn't mean they're entirely wrong about sociocultural factors and whatnot. Both sociocultural factors and biology interact to influence our behavior. For ex…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:57 PM
–

I feel like you’re conflating sexual experiences with body count. A woman could have millions of sexual experiences with one dude. Did you just change “n-count” to “sexual experiences” so you could circumvent the no n-count post rule lol? Personally, I think anyone can have sex ruined by having sex with someone unrealistically out of their league. For guys this mainly happens through porn but for women it can happen in real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 02:03 PM
1

Because where you are currently doesn't reflect where you are overall. As a guy, my "quality" magically improved as I got older without me doing anything to improve whatsoever. This is because of women changing priorities, and the age-relative desirability gap between men and women. When I was a 20 year old young-looking dude in college, many of the women around my age preferred older-looking guys. It's taboo to date anyone under 18 once you get to college. Also, most of the attractive women aro…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/23 01:47 PM
6

Guys have love languages too like words of affirmation, gifts, touch, quality time, acts of service.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:56 PM
5

Ever heard of “Are We Dating the Same Guy” groups? I think some guys that genuinely hate women can get around (or at least they did).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 11:53 PM
3

And not wanting to date someone based on their bi orientation isn't?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:23 PM
4

Awesome so what is the source of my bitterness and resentment and what has been done to address it?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:05 PM
3

Right but 72% of women is a helluva lot more than 28% of women. And what's wrong with threesomes? Sounds very sex-positive and exciting. I think bi-men would happily accept more interest from women, even if they're into threesomes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 09:04 PM
4

Biologically speaking, testosterone causes men to be more aggressive in general. However, a Spartan male was probably a helluva lot more aggressive than a modern male. Why? Because our behavior is influenced by both biological and sociocultural factors. While women might always have a biological component to increased sexual selectivity and restriction, it sure as hell wouldn't hurt to try to change some of the sociocultural factors. However, I think I understand where the sentiment that elimina…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 08:53 PM
14

In 2001, there was a study that found bi-men were rated more negatively than bi-women, gay men, or lesbians.1 In 2016, there was an infamous Glamour survey where 63% of women surveyed said that they would not be willing to date a guy who had a known history of hooking up with other dudes.2 A more recent 2019 YouGov survey found that only 28% of women would be comfortable with a bisexual partner compared to 38% of men.3 Eliason, M. (2001). Bi-negativity: The stigma facing bisexual men. Journal of…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 07:51 PM
3

Okay sure let's suppose we convince all feminists and incels to go to therapy. I will pretend to independently be a feminist and an incel and I want you to respond as if you are our therapist. Feminist: hey /u/1Here4Bach I was born to a very poor family in Texas and live paycheck to paycheck. I can't afford to move. However, too many people here read a book written thousands of years ago that says their sweet, loving, definitely-not-evil creator will doom them to an eternity of hell if they don'…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 07:11 PM
7

Again, your response inherently implies that something is wrong with the man and he has anger issues. Should we just dismiss modern feminists as just "having anger issues"? If we're willing to identify and address issues aggrieving women, and truly desiring gender equality, should we not also be able to identify and address issues aggrieving men rather than just demonizing them as "angry" and "needing fixing"?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 06:41 PM
1

Your response of "why is it someone else's job to 'fix' someone" comes with the inherent implication that men need to be fixed. I think that itself is a common problem nowadays. We always individualistically blame men's problems on the men themselves, or collectively on men as a whole, never once considering that men could also suffer from societal stigmas, biases, and oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 06:27 PM
8

It's just a matter of actually caring, being willing to listen, and prioritizing both men and women, not just women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 06:24 PM
2

You're assuming the issue is that men need to be fixed, and not something else...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 06:23 PM
5

Which of the following does not belong here? (A) If someone is depressed, we say it's a mental health condition. (B) If someone is fat, we attribute it to their genes/biology. (C) If a woman experiences issues, we say it's men, society, and the patriarchy. (D) If a man experiences issues, we blame it individually on him and say he needs to deal with that himself. While each individual man can definitely do things to improve their circumstances, we need to stop blaming all of men's problems on me…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 06:20 PM
21

The issue is that most people would rather shit on bitter and resentful men to feel superior and better about themselves than try to figure out and fix where that bitterness and resentment came from in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 02:44 PM
2

TFR isn’t a novel problem. Throwing money and policy at the issue doesn’t work because the issue is cultural.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/23 02:34 PM
44

I feel like we see/hear a lot of the most extreme, anti-male propaganda cases from radical misandrists, and laws about consent were updated to placate them. Based on my experience, most women are perfectly fine with nonverbal consent because they are confident and comfortable that they can say something at any point and things will stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 04:59 PM
1

To make an analogy, a man’s muscularity to women is like a woman’s career to most men. If a woman is already fit and attractive, her being smart and successful is bonus. If she’s not fit or attractive, her career doesn’t replace or make up for that. If a man has good qualities and personality, muscularity is a bonus. If he does not have good qualities and personality, muscularity does nothing to change that. To receive the most benefit in desirability, women need to hit the gym and get fit. Men,…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 03:55 PM
1

The actual patriarchy - the top 5% or so of genetically endowed tall, dominant, rich, intelligent, successful men absolutely LOVE modern feminism. Modern feminism demonized the shit out of ugly men which completely eliminated the bottom third of men or so from competition. Modern feminism also keeps discouraging marriage and encouraging women’s “sexuality” which tends to heavily benefit tall/intelligent/rich men. So, thanks to modern feminism, the patriarchy has all these single and available wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 03:29 PM
1

Can touching be platonic? Yes. Is your male best friend asking you for hugs, cuddles, and kisses platonic? Probably not. There’s nothing wrong with him being attracted to you, though. This is actually how my first long term girlfriend and I started. She didn’t have “a spark” for me so we just became friends and she later caught different, deeper feelings and gave dating a chance. We became sexually active and were together for 3.5 years until our careers took us separate ways after college.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/23 03:32 AM
–

According to Yuval Noah Harari in Homo Deus, humans have actually lost intelligence in recent history. For much of ancient human history, if you made one dumb mistake you died.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 08:16 PM
3

Silicon Valley Bank members were not a monolith. However, when enough of them decided to want to withdraw their money, the bank collapsed. Trends in individual preferences across large numbers of individuals have real, noticeable, tangible effects. We should be able to talk about economic dating trends caused by common general preferences and behaviors of men or women in dating without constantly being derailed and reminded that Susie Q in the Sahara Desert might not want to withdraw her money f…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 08:10 PM
0

Skim out the milk fat. In the single male dating population you can expect that high-quality attractive men are more likely to be taken. This leaves a large mass of low-quality attractive men aka "milkfat" at the top. If a woman just intentionally lowers her physical standards on OLD, she skims off that layer of milk fat and gets access to quality guys that are more likely to be overlooked.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 08:07 PM
3

I started out as friends with my first ever long term girlfriend because I liked her and she “didn’t feel a spark”. She later changed her mind and gave me a chance. We dated for 3.5 years, became sexually active, and the relationship was great. The only reason it ended was because both of us believed in not compromising our careers for love so early in life, and our careers took us to separate places. When I asked her about “the spark”, she said that the warmth, comfort, and slow burn of love wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 06:27 PM
2

The women willing to date me were so much hotter than the ones willing to hook up with me. So, I just adopted a dating strategy of starting out casual and was upfront and honest about it. That weeded out all the women that pathologize men/sex or think of themselves as transactional holy vending machines graciously bestowing divine sex on lowly men in exchange for commitment, and I was left with just a few very chill, attractive women. Unsurprisingly, one of those few chill and very attractive wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 06:04 PM
–

I think decoupling our treatment of others from our dating preferences and attraction is very important for both men and women. That being said, I see men’s weight preference often get compared to women’s height preference and I feel like this is not a very fair comparison and speaks to how normalized and engrained height preference has become. A better comparison would be something women judge men on that can be changed/improved to an extent like personality. Height is something completely inva…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 05:11 PM
11

If you’re able to get sexual attention from attractive young women, why would you need to take the red pill? I think you’re basically asking all the sexually ignored men who were never able to get attention from or associate with attractive promiscuous women if they know any promiscuous women. The idea of “dual-mating” to me isn’t really women only liking guys that party 24/7 or assortative mating as you describe. It’s more of a slow economic shift in women’s dating priorities with age that caus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 04:33 PM
1

If you look at bonobos, they are very egalitarian and have lower sexual size dimorphism between the males and females. However, the females are also more forthcoming with sex. They often resolve conflicts by having orgies (source). Bonobo males are not super tall, aggressive, and dominant because those traits aren’t sexually rewarded. Humans, on the other hand, were biologically more polygynous and patriarchal. Males had to fight and compete with each other for females, which rewarded traits lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 02:29 PM
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I think men and women both have different experiences in dating. I’ve never seen any of those men rudely commenting on women’s appearances because I am a man. However, as a 5’9” guy I have experienced tons of height-related stigma and rejection. I don’t think instances of overt rudeness fully captures what that’s like. The expectation of dating agency is often placed on men so women aren’t going to ever talk to you, you have to do that. When you do, it’s like there’s this subtle but obvious feel…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:48 PM
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Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:26 PM
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Because while I acknowledge culture has a place, many do not acknowledge that biology also has a place. Men and women are influenced biologically and socioculturally. While we pathologize the shit out of men’s sexual desire to women, masturbation is widely accepted by the medical community as being very healthy for men’s physical and mental health. So while a need for sex with another might not be a need, sex with oneself is. I think a lot of young men enter the dating world, without much sexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 12:25 PM
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It wasn’t a subject change, it was related to your idea of natural attraction. Women were probably attracted to the oblong skulls of the nobility in ancient cultures that practiced cranial deformation. Thus, I definitely think there’s a sociocultural component to attraction. However, the idea of sociocultural influence was popularized by feminism and given inherent bias to women. So, toxic sociocultural influences caused by men and affecting women like “sexualized” media portrayals had to evolve…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 11:57 AM
1

So you believe that women’s attractiveness is entirely biological and is in no way influenced by sociocultural factors?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:37 PM
1

If you saw a pic of my girlfriend and I when we were in high school, you would think she's out of my league. If you saw a pic of my girlfriend and I in college, you would think she was out of my league. If you saw a pic of my girlfriend and I now, we seem like a "cute couple". My personality didn't change a bit, all I did was get older.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 10:18 PM
3

I think you underestimate how bad dating is nowadays for guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:59 PM
3

I think body positivity is more about reducing negativity towards people with different body shapes and sizes while standards dictate who we find attractive and would date, influenced by sociocultural factors. Imagine you have (A) a woman that is tall, tan, dominant, tattooed, and muscular and (B) a man that is short, fit but thin, and submissive. In todays society, who do you think will have an easier time finding someone attracted to them? While this may not be every guy’s cup of tea, I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 09:45 PM
6

To me it seems that antiquated standards of women are always independently brought up as misogyny, with an implied responsibility of men to not be misogynistic and change their antiquated standards. But if you then bring up women’s antiquated standards of men (e.g. protector-provider norm), suddenly the narrative shifts to something like “no one has a responsibility to date anyone they don’t wish to”. I think this is a double standard. Men should also be able to identify and denounce antiquated …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:33 PM
1

Ok I searched “#musclemommy” on insta. First result was a reel by “tessnoel” with very muscular biceps, unsure of her height as it’s not in the info. Top (short) comments out of 66 total with assumed gender: M, (positive emojis) M, Hell yea M, Very nice form. Keep it up F, yes ma’am F, keeping showing up for yourself M, trust F, body of a goddess, you look amazing BB M, (positive emojis) damn yes M, Jacked F, (fire emoji) M, (two fire emojis) F, Uff (fire emojis) F, Perfection (positive emojis) …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 08:21 PM
2

It’s a reference to women dodging/deflecting responsibility for having unrealistic standards for men by trying to convince more men to become gay and love each other (so the woman doesn’t have to be realistic)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:58 PM
1

You just remixed “become gay” into “love yourself”. It’s just another one of many ways in the repertoire of women dodging/deflecting responsibility for having unrealistic expectations of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:56 PM
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Do you think modern women would be attracted to the cranially-deformed, elongated skulls of the nobility of ancient cultures that practiced artificial skull deformation? The ancient women probably were. A lot of modern unrealistic (physical) expectations for men come from sociocultural factors that can be addressed and changed. By promoting less sexual size dimorphic relationships and more realistic and healthy standards for men, that uncontrollable feeling of arousal and attraction you mention …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:48 PM
-1

Muscle mommies and tall women are found desirable by a lot of men which highlights a societal double standard in heteronormative models of femininity, masculinity, and attractiveness. Women’s physical model of attractiveness has evolved to adopt more traditionally masculine qualities like muscles and height. Men’s physical model of attractiveness, however, has not. Men are still often expected to be tall “protectors”, and men trying to express this hypocrisy are often dismissed as needing to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 07:13 PM
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I think talking normally and unrestrictedly about women is more common when amongst other men, and this very normal, genuine, innocent discussion is unnecessarily demonized as misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:45 PM
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Because (A) that assumption the man will hurt you could be sexist and entirely incorrect, and (B) a lot of women base their attraction on antiquated norms/standards for men. Just as women shouldn’t be restrictively judged and expected to be a housewife/caretaker, men should not be restrictively judged and expected to be a protector/provider. We should aim to eliminate restrictive antiquated standards on both women AND men, not just women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:39 PM
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You were dismissing societal issues by scoping down to an individual level. I highlighted an example of a societal issue that can impact individual decisions, and how exclusively focusing on the man’s individual behavior would not completely eliminate the overarching issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:17 PM
-2

A lot of men responded to and adopted the updated norms, dropping their expectations for petite, dumb, submissive housewives for fit, disciplined, motorcycle-riding tattooed muscle mommies or whatever. Women, unfortunately, aren’t as receptive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:11 PM
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Imagine a woman finds a guy attractive but doesn’t want to go over to his place because she thinks he could be dangerous. There are tons of issues at play here. While the guy might be able to improve his behavior to seem “safer” he can’t completely eliminate the existence of sex crime and how it gets used to justify and normalize sexism against the majority of non-criminal men. Instead of just focusing on and blaming the man (or men in general), we should be able to identify, talk about, and add…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 05:01 PM
18

Men and women both face societal and individual problems, but women’s problems are often blamed on society/men, while men’s are blamed individually on men. Ironically, this might relate to a societal problem facing men: agency bias. Men are more often viewed/expected to have and exercise agency and, thus, are perceived as perpetrators or self-inflicting their issues rather than as victims. The existence of individual dating problems doesn’t preclude us from identifying and addressing societal on…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 03:44 PM
3

We grew up in a revolutionary era for two things: toppling antiquated gender norms and standards, and empowering women’s choice. However, a massive battle ensued between women’s choice and toppling antiquated norms and standards for men like the protector-provider norm and height. While all the women feminists were super eager to disrupt their own restrictive norms, many weren’t so eager to do so for men (or they just hated men). Consequently, women’s choice won, and toxic antiquated standards f…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:22 PM
1

So wait you’re telling the people that swipe on 40% of people on average to lower their standards (men), not the people that only swipe on 7% on average (women)?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 02:00 PM
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When “#proano” trended on Tumblr, they combatted it by adding eating disorder disclaimers. Did they do the same for obesity? Nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:52 PM
1

Women like men that look like bad boys, not actual criminals. Like one of my sister’s friends types is “fresh out of prison” but like not ACTUALLY fresh out of prison. It means she likes big, intimidating-looking dudes with lots of tats.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:24 PM
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You think so lowly of men that you’d rather try to convince them to fuck each other than address the misandry. Men are getting rid of all their antiquated norms for women being submissive and frail, go look at the comments of literally any muscle mommy on insta for proof of that. But ask women to get rid of the protector-provider norm for men and holy shit the hypocrisy is daunting.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:20 PM
1

Ah yes contrary to popular belief, all the height filters women use are actually H.E.I.G.H.T. filters. He’s Exciting, Imaginative, Grateful, Honest, & Tall So jacking up those H.E.I.G.H.T. filters help women find the important things like facial features, height, how he dresses, height, personality, height, hobbies, height, not being a murderer, and height.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:11 PM
7

I believe in experiential dating. You don’t go into dating like interviewing a job candidate trying to figure out their qualifications and what they bring to the table. You just go in having fun and trying new things together. The right person just feels right. You have a lot of fun and work together im a variety of situations and it just makes sense to stay together. The kind of woman “I think I deserve” is based on my own lifestyle and upbringing. My sister is average-height, blonde and fit. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:53 PM
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I think there’s a big difference between promoting healthy and realistic standards for one’s current sexuality, and being so bigoted about unrealistic standards that you’d rather try and convince the opposite sex to become gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:32 PM
2

Women like height a little bit because men tend to be ~4” taller on average. However, the digital age inundates women with tons of options. Imagine you’re in a giant car lot with thousands and thousands of cars and people claiming cars. You don’t know shit about the cars and can only see how they look. While not every car looks good, there are thousands so you can’t possibly look through every good looking car. What do you do? Well, you might start with looking at the cars that everyone else is …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 12:03 PM
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Okay well with that logic, why not advocate for women to be less gay?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:52 AM
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Imagine if “you can’t control what people want no matter how unfair it is” was said in response to any change ever lol. There are definitely tons of things that can be done to encourage a more healthy, safe, consensual, mutually pleasurable sex-positive culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 11:43 AM
1

Wow of all the things I said that’s the one you cherry-pick lol nice. You know PPD isn’t entirely male, right? Some people here might not know about nocturnal emissions. Also, a lot of boys discover masturbation sometime in their teens. A recent study including boys and girls aged 14-17 reported that 80% of boys and 48% of girls admitted that they had masturbated. I was one of those 20% that was never able to discover it… until I was 18. Women that condemn “sex as a need” never know what it’s li…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/23 01:58 AM
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They can more strategically exercise their power of selection by filtering out and intentionally avoiding the milk fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 10:49 PM
1

All those male muscular meat heads you see in the gym may be “overweight” or “obese” because it’s just based on weight, not body composition, and muscle is dense and heavy. So, while the stats give the illusion that there are comparable levels of obesity, I think a lot of obese men may actually be more fit/muscular. For example, Henry Cavill is obese: Henry is famous for his roles in movies such as Mission:Impossible, Superman and most recently, the Netflix hit-series The Witcher. Cavill is also…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 08:43 PM
2

Your argument inherently advances an unhealthy view of women's sexuality by assuming women have to be "obligated" to have and enjoy sex with men. Women can and do enjoy sex with men, and there are ways to encourage women to have, enjoy, and desire even more safe, enjoyable, and consensual sex with men. However, effecting this does not involve just men, nor addressing the few cherry-picked women's issues disguised as sole/primary obstacles to sex. Suppose we create an alternate dimension where: W…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 08:14 PM
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Those hookups women try “once or twice” and rate as “utter shit” are often with unrealistically attractive men that they’d never be able to lock down long term. Those men get so much attention that they don’t need to give the slightest shit about pleasuring a woman. Women to them are endless, discardable objects. Meanwhile, the guys actually willing to give a shit get sexually ignored and overlooked. If/when they finally do get a chance, they’re extremely inexperienced or have been corrupted/rui…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 07:10 PM
4

Everyone is standing in the way, including some men, but especially an overarching societal inability to blame women for anything and a generalized pathologization of men and male sexual desire. A guy can’t even find a woman sexually attractive without his feelings being pathologized as “objectification” or “not seeing her as an individual”. This is just disguised women’s supremacy. Men tend to have a biologically higher sex drive than women that includes a greater affinity for casual sex. Howev…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 06:56 PM
4

My parents were conservative and banned/blocked anything remotely sexual about women and masturbation. I didn’t start masturbating until I was 18 (escaped to college). My body would literally involuntarily dump cum into my bed sheets every now and then while I was sleeping if you’re curious. Masturbating is EXTREMELY healthy for your mental and physical health and there is TONS of research to confirm this. Unfortunately, I have to watch porn when I masturbate which I believe to be due to part of…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 05:49 PM
2

Culturally combatting the male protector-provider norm and encouraging healthier physical standards for men for things like height. Eliminating perceived scarcity of casual sexual access, thus diminishing its rarity and value to men and helping to eliminate some of the asymmetry in desiring it. Combatting misandry and normalized sexism against men, particularly threat stereotyping and criminal stigmatization. Encouraging safe, sex-positive, mutual-pleasure oriented culture that helps to eliminat…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 05:00 PM
1

Masturbation has been proven to be great for mental and physical health. It is definitely a need and porn is currently the chosen outlet for this. However, women HATE the effects of porn. Porn causes lots of men to have unrealistic views on women or sex. Rather than just helping men to get easier access to real, consensual, enjoyable sex, women just pathologize the shit out of men like every other gender issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/23 04:25 PM
2

Ok so what is the chance of finding love combined with the desire to find love minus the chance to be violently victimized combined with the desire to not be violently victimized? Keep in mind that men are disproportionately victims of all forms of violent crimes except sexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 07:52 PM
2

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513801000654 Consistent with previous findings, women preferred partners of their own age, regardless of their own age and regardless of the level of relationship involvement. Men, on the other hand, regardless of their own age, desired mates for short-term mating and for sexual fantasies who were in their reproductive years This has been verified over and over and over and over again. For example in Dataclysm Christian Rudder talks abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 07:42 PM
15

Most women I know went through a “hoe phase” of casual sexual exploration that helped them get over desire for casual sex. Most men I know never get that chance. They kind of have to lie just to get to the same stage as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 07:12 PM
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There are evolutionary biology theories explaining men's greater affinity and women's greater selectivity for casual sex. If it's selfish for men to want casual sex, why is it not also selfish for women to want greater selectivity? We're all just trying to fulfill biological desires, but we arbitrarily chose to pathologize men's and prioritize women's. Many women hate the effects of men's sexual desire. Feeling objectified Being hit on by ugly/creepy men Quick sexual solicitation in dating Casua…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 05:29 PM
25

Here's an article from 2012, back in the good ol' days before online dating companies wisened up to publicizing anything negative. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2247988/The-perfect-man-DOES-exist--fact-FIVE-types-there.html (18-24) young women want a man they can show off to their friends. 47 per cent said they would look for a relationship with someone their friends would approve of (18-24) They are also suckers for a six-pack: 18-24s are most willing to date a man in better physic…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 04:42 PM
7

There's no such thing as positive or negative risks. Risk is risk. The "reward" is subjective so it's impossible to determine if cumulative risk is positive. Furthermore, cultural trends like toxic modern misandry can influence women's perception of the value of "the reward".
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 02:02 PM
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It’s the patriarchy. All these moms are obviously raising their kids to oppress women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 12:13 PM
18

Throughout K-12, college, and even now, I just don't really encounter many plus-sized women in my active lifestyle. They're not invisible, there just aren't many. I can literally close my eyes and think of all the plus-sized women that I encounter day-to-day and there's like 4. They are literally an outlier in my life. However, when I was on dating apps, I kept getting all these likes and no matches. Curious, I bought Tinder gold for a month and oh. my. God. There were more plus-sized women than…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/23 01:21 AM
7

It reinforces the idea that there could be biologically influenced differences in sex/dating behavior between men and women, which tends to be ignored/dismissed in favor of the more feminism-friendly theory of socialization that also happens to pave the way for tons of pathologization of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 12:25 PM
4

Gay men have way more casual sex than lesbians.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:40 AM
11

The stigma comes from the asymmetry in difficulty. If sex was just as easy for guys to get, women would face much less stigma.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:35 AM
18

Based on my dating experience as a guy this is part of a larger modern problem. Women want to be free of their antiquated gender norms but still apply the protector-provider norm to men. Many women absolutely will not date a guy that’s shorter, less ambitious, or lower-attaining. The women that will date a man with one of those will try to compensate by compromising another e.g. dating a super physically masculine less-attaining guy, or dating a taller sweet/caring guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:31 AM
0

Obesity and pale fair skin has been the female standard of beauty historically in several cultures. This may be because these traits were associated with upperclass / royalty. Nowadays upperclass traits differ and so too do the standards of beauty. However, both straight and gay men tend to be much more open to and comfortable with casual sex compared to straight women and lesbians. Higher levels of testosterone has been linked with increased libido, dominance, and aggression. Lower levels of te…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 08:56 PM
1

If everyone suddenly wanted to withdraw their money from banks, the entire banking system would collapse. While everyone has their own individual story, general trends across individuals create real economic effects and consequences that can be seen, experienced, and studied. For people, this is behavioral economics. Again, while everyone can have their own individual story, trends across men in women in dating due to sexual dimorphism can create real, observable economic effects in dating. Supp…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 06:57 PM
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From ChatGPT3.5: I can help you create a weightlifting routine to build muscle and improve aesthetics. Keep in mind that consistency and progression are key in any fitness program. Here's a beginner-friendly routine that focuses on compound exercises to target multiple muscle groups: Day 1: Upper Body 1. Barbell Bench Press: 3 sets of 8-10 reps 2. Lat Pulldowns or Assisted Pull-ups: 3 sets of 8-10 reps 3. Dumbbell Shoulder Press: 3 sets of 8-10 reps 4. Dumbbell Bicep Curls: 3 sets of 10-12 reps …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 12:50 PM
2

According to behavioral psychologist, director of Relationship Science at Hinge, and dating coach Logan Ury with a lot of background on behavioral psychology and economics research with behavioral economist Dan Ariely, a lot of people don’t really date correctly if their goal is to find lasting love. She details this in her (sensationally named) book How Not to Die Alone that I HIGHLY recommend. While it includes a lot of useful information for men, especially for later stages of dating, I defin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:31 PM
1

Well a lot of men and women are getting the desired outcome they want out of life by complaining on the internet to try to shift culture and sentiment in their favor. For example, the body positivity movement. Height is another good example because it’s hard to be accountable for something you can’t change but are definitely judged for. I think sentiment on extreme height preference has changed a little bit. When you see guys posting about getting brutally and shallowly rejected for their height…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 09:14 PM
3

Just a personal anecdote but dating definitely became easier for me as I got older. When I say “easier” I mean noticeably more attention and chances from actually attractive women. I attribute this to being a late bloomer, women’s priorities changing from sex/fun to long term potential, and relative desirability gap age-narrowing. I am a late bloomer and our society is very age-stratified with a giant no-no arbitrarily set at age 18. After college it became easier, more socially acceptable, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 07:01 PM
9

Women tend to be the pickiest. For example, according to tinderinsights.com, women swipe on only 7% of men on average and match with 33% of the men they swipe right on. In contrast, men swipe on 40% of women on average and match with only 2.5% of the women they swipe on. It makes more sense to tell the person instantly rejecting 93% of people to pick better than the person instantly rejecting only 60% of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 05:48 PM
2

Imagine if a big group of 30 friends went anywhere together. In most cases, they would face judgement and stigma which could be that same overarching cultural expectation to moderate manifesting a little differently. Like “okay congrats you can make lots of friends, but don’t flex on everyone and invade public spaces”.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 06:04 PM
8

While I do agree it can be hypocritical to an extent, a potentially view-changing caveat is that some men’s criticism of promiscuous women may be based entirely on the asymmetry in women’s ease of obtaining it. It’s not the women or the sex, it’s the asymmetry. Furthermore, I think there is an overarching cultural expectation to moderate privileges and advantages. For example, if you’re really smart, don’t be a know-it-all. If you’re really strong, don’t intimidate others. If you win, don’t brag…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 05:25 PM
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Progressive capitalism is just capitalism, which has always been around. When women were campaigning for their right to vote in the early 20th century, some smart capitalist probably sold stickers or something and made money off the movement. That’s just how capitalism works. Furthermore, love and parenting contributes to enormous industries. Do you think a bunch of lonely single dudes are going to buy diamonds and pay for weddings? Having a steady flow of births and population is also massively…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 04:30 PM
1

Sexism and racism in dating is normalized. However, while both men and women may have racist preferences, women are predominantly sexist. Rape is an example of not controlling impulses. Disliking a sexual pickup line on Tinder, on the other hand, is just women pathologizing men innocently expressing their sexual desire. There’s a difference between internal and external restriction. That quote is contextually implying that men may have less sociosexual self-restriction of sexual attitudes due to…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 03:51 PM
2

I’ve always had reduced sensitivity for some reason, even before porn, probably because part of my dick was cutoff when I was born (circumcision). My parents banned porn so I didn’t masturbate until college. Your body will ejaculate in your sleep every now and then if you’re wondering. Porn helped me finally start masturbating, and masturbating helped me stop being so obsessed and creepy with all the women around me. I actually became more successful with women after starting to masturbate. I ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:21 PM
-1

You also don’t really need to cut parts of boys’ dicks off but we do that for some reason and it reduces sensitivity.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 02:01 PM
16

You don’t just miraculously get an attractive woman the moment you get a job, go the gym once, and eat a healthy meal. In addition to consistently doing those, it takes a lot of effort, trial and error, and patience. However, if you’re an absolute horn dog with the women you meet you will scare them all away. Porn helps men satiate their higher biological sexual desire in a world that pathologizes it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 01:57 PM
1

Try making that poison argument to defend literally any other form of discrimination and see how that goes for ya. Again, sexism against men is normalized. Some men instantly talk about sex because of biological differences. What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger? In terms of research on sexual attitudes, nearly all studies conducted have found that men have more positive attitudes toward casual sex than women (Oliver & Hyde, 1993; Petersen & Hyde, 2010), have more unrestric…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/23 11:41 AM
5

Please re-read the comment chain to get the correct context. You and Solo are trying to strawman some argument about not wanting sex criminals which has absolutely nothing to do with my argument. I don’t feel like resummarizing the entire post and comment thread.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 10:02 PM
14

The majority of people are not criminals, and assuming someone is a criminal based on sex is discrimination. It’s just, sadly, incredibly normalized to be sexist against men. Separately, yes you are allowed to be selective. However, women often collectively blame their modern dating struggles on men rather than their own extreme selectivity. Men don’t want to force women to like them, they just want to feel understood, heard, and appreciated as they go through their dating life with very little …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:48 PM
6

Correct, because the issue isn’t men, it’s that women are extremely and unrealistically selective and seek ways to justify/excuse this or blame it on men through things like “safety”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 09:16 PM
–

So what’s the difference between highlighting actual problems one faces and having a victim mentality? Do feminists have a massive victim mentality for identifying things that women are a victim of? Should all feminists just shut up and blame themselves for not improving their adherence to current societal standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 06:28 PM
22

As always, you’re only focusing on and blaming men as if women are just poor innocent victims lacking any agency in the matter. Women don’t need to constantly stigmatize men as creeps, profile them as threats, and pathologize their sexual interest because of the existence of a few criminals. That is sexism.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 05:35 PM
–

And you’d be willing to change your view?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:53 PM
35

Based on my experience with dating, women have TONS of resources available to them for “safety” but they are rarely used. For example, I’ve probably been on hundreds of dates and only had two women EVER video call me before setting up a date. You could get rid of every sex criminal in the world and women would STILL be just as selective. Some new misandristic justification would just pop up to find new creative ways to blame men for everything. Also while I’m sure men and women both experience f…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 04:52 PM
3

OP is dismissing all those stats with “correlation does not equal causation”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:37 PM
1

Correlation does not equal causation Correlation is the only way you can study the influence of fatherhood because it's illegal and immoral to experimentally deprive children of fathers. “Children need fathers” is propaganda to push a Men Are Wonderful bias Children need fathers is being pushed by (non-misandristic) feminists to try to actually further gender equality (not women's supremacy). https://www.hks.harvard.edu/publications/launching-cross-disciplinary-and-cross-national-conversation-en…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 12:27 PM
17

Helping women realize they're all trying to date the same guys? Awesome! Helping women vet men for safety reasons? Good idea! Giving women "social power and supremacy" over their exes by being able to talk endless unverified shit to every woman in a 100-mile radius if you decide to leave them? Not cool. I think the group is a good idea, but they need to figure out a way to prevent biased and unverified opinions from women out for vengeance.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/23 04:18 PM
1

When you say "hit me up" is this that like an interview or something? I'm happy to respond to any questions in messages/comments but I like to maintain anonymity with my opinions due to the toxicity of modern cancel culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 03:54 PM
15

I agree with feminists on a lot of things, but I don't like that feminism inherently biases women, demonizes men, and often downplays or pathologizes biology. Feminism will never be able to escape the inherent favoritism for women, even as scales start to tip in favor of women's supremacy in things such as the growing gap in college attainment. The key to gender equality is being able to accept, acknowledge, and address everyone's issues, not just women's, and feminism to me seems too often blin…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates02/06/23 03:49 PM
1

If you read How to Not Die Alone by Logan Ury, she outlines a lot of great, research-backed dating advice on how to find lasting long-term love. A powerful theme I learned from her book is the idea of dating experientially, not evaluatively. She advises against treating dating like interviewing and trying to find a candidate with the best possible qualities, quickly rejecting anyone that doesn't check some box. You are more likely to find real, genuine, lasting love by just getting out and exper…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 12:41 PM
2

It's always good to check the sources! In this case it was actually heard, not read. It's from Ariely's Google Talk "On Dating and Relationships" where he talks about some of his research at Irrational Labs with Logan Ury. The whole talk is super interesting, but skip to 42:05 for the "top X" bit. Logan actually went on to enter into the dating advice space and wrote a great (but very sensationally named) book How to not Die Alone that features a lot of research-backed dating advice. I read the …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/23 12:14 PM
1

While simple, concrete, rational reasons tend to be the best form of closure for dissolution, vague rejections are the best substitute in the absence of rationality. For example, if you’re rejecting someone because of the position of the moon and the stars, you would do so vaguely.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 07:28 PM
3

I also have an athletic body fat percentage for men, so yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 07:08 PM
28

I think everyone’s idea of “average” is contextually dependent. If you grow up with an active lifestyle surrounded in fit healthy women, perhaps in a wealthy neighborhood, your local perception of average is probably higher than the global perception of average. As time goes on and you meet more and more people, however, your perception can change. I think men’s perceptions are more invariant to change than women’s which aligns with the views and research of behavioral economist Dan Ariely. Acco…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 07:00 PM
1

10-13% of women’s body fat is considered essential and 2-5% for men. However, these are incredibly difficult to maintain. Athletic women tend to have 14-20% and fit women tend to have 21-24%.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 06:21 PM
5

The most physically attractive girls from my HS/college are extremely passionate about some active hobby like yoga, aerial silks, lifting, dance, barre, etc. They majored in something like communications and partied a lot but somehow secure enough income to support a luxurious global travel lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 06:00 PM
3

I feel like body fat % is a better metric than BMI because a woman with more dense lean tissue like some muscle might actually look thinner and be healthier but weigh more. The emphasis isn’t on weight, it’s diet, health, fitness, and the resulting effects on body composition. A woman’s body is a major component of her attractiveness and it’s unfortunate that so many women pathologize and disparage men for this. It most likely relates to male/female hyper/hypo agency bias causing men to be more …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 05:23 PM
6

Incels were a small group of cherry-picked extremists used to undermine and disparage the credibility of a larger movement highlighting the modern dismissal and pathologization of men’s higher biological sex drive. After the cherry-picking, the incel label was generalized beyond the extremists while maintaining the extreme negative stigma. If it is widely accepted that biology plays a major influence in men’s sexual drive and desire, it becomes sexist to claim that men objectify and sexualize wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 01:39 PM
14

Amongst all my insta friends across time, a clear trend emerges. After 18-24, the women that look the best tend to really enjoy and post about some sort of “active” hobby like dancing, climbing, gym, aerial silks, yoga, etc. If they really enjoy it, you don’t have to worry about them locking you down and then giving up on health and fitness whilst shaming and guilting you for losing physical attraction to them. So, when dating, you look for these “active” interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/23 12:23 PM
1

A phase of casual sexual exploration is, in my opinion, an important precursor to wanting and appreciating something more special and stable. I, like many men, grew up seeing some of my women friends out at crush parties eager to get dicked by some tall rich frat boy while I had to create a parody Tinder profile of a dining room cookie just for a goddamn inkling of attention on dating apps. Unsurprisingly, women did not desire casual sex for long and wanted “something more”. So what do they do, …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:38 PM
2

If you cloned someone, it’s very hard to tell the difference between them being 29.9 or 30.1. It might be hard to tell the difference between 28 and 30, maybe even 25 and 30. This because the “wall” isn’t some discrete point where you turn a certain age and instantly become unattractive. It’s a general range symbolizing the general negative correlation between women’s age and physical attractiveness. Similarly, there is no discrete wall for body fat %. It’s just a general negative correlation be…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:22 PM
17

While I'm sure men and women have some biological differences that could play a role, the gender gap in education shows trends in socioeconomic status and disproportionately affects black boys and black men. Richard Reeves writes about this in his book Of Boys and Men Chetty and his team conclude that the overall Black–white intergenerational mobility gap “is entirely driven by differences in men’s, not women’s, outcomes.” Jerlando F. L. Jackson and James L. Moore write in a special issue of the…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/05/23 06:23 PM
46

There’s an iconic 2006 NYT opinion To All The Girls I’ve Rejected of a college admissions officer talking about the crazy disparity in male/female college admissions. This was almost TWENTY years ago. The feminist-biased theories for this are very frustrating because, as always, they seek to blame/pathologize men. Have you ever thought that maybe the toxic and misandristic parts of feminism could be socializing boys to be low-attaining by endlessly blaming and shaming them whilst empowering and …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/05/23 03:59 PM
8

There was a Pew article earlier this year that showed 63% of men 18-29 are single compared to 34% of women 18-29 with lots of various theories, but I think it’s because a lot of young women are unknowingly dating the same guy. So, hot take but as a guy that grew up not getting much attention from women, I feel like these groups are finally starting to help combat unrealistic standards for men in the options-saturated digital age dating landscape. Growing up, I always felt like many young women w…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates31/05/23 01:25 PM
1

Men have always been attracted to that, it’s just becoming more acceptable to express it. I forget exactly which book it was, but I remember reading about a professional domme that got tons of very rich and powerful men as clientele, many who even had submissive wives and families.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 12:14 PM
1

Romantically/sexually motivated cold approaches are a waste of time. Platonically-motivated cold approaches, on the other hand, are more effective because they pave the way for warm approaches down the road where women are less likely to pathologize, stigmatize, and threat profile you because you’re a friend of friend. Furthermore, women are more likely to act like the noble self-biased narrated versions we see on Reddit when their friends are around to hold them accountable. So while a 5’4” wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 04:02 PM
0

Um yes unless you think she was stupid and accidentally discovered her partner doesn’t want to do dishes several years in?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 05:29 PM
1

A lot of men naturally sit with their legs spread a little bit to avoid squishing their dick and balls. There’s a difference between that and obnoxiously encroaching on others’ space in public transportation. However, when “manspreading” got coined, the “goalposts” were subjective. While some people may have just been expressing dislike for the latter, others were fixated on the former because they hate men. The overall point is that the goalposts can be abstract and subjective which allows them…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 05:24 PM
0

Where does all this sentiment about men not being able to do basic life shit come from? If you marry some tall hot guy that doesn’t do shit, that’s your fault, not men’s fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 04:42 PM
0

Understandably. Likewise, the manspreading crusade received widespread criticism, including from “feminists”. However the originators probably identified as “feminist” which reinforces how goalposts are subjective and can often be moved to further hidden agendas.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 04:33 PM
1

The concept of “manspreading” would not even exist if it wasn’t someone’s goal to eliminate it. You claiming “it was never a goalpost” highlights the subjectiveness surrounding goalposts. Move the goalposts is a metaphor derived from goal-based sports where a “goalpost” is some subjectively desired goal. In this context, “50/50” is subjective. It is impossible to objectively equate something like “the burden of childbirth” to “an additional hour of household labor each day” or whatever. Looking …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 04:11 PM
4

Feminism went from fighting for women’s rights like the right to vote to pathologizing how men sit with their legs spread.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 03:18 PM
10

Growing up with a younger sister actually made me more aware and bitter about the vast gender asymmetry in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 03:05 PM
8

I had a very similar experience growing up with my sister.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/23 03:03 PM
0

While our behavior is not just influenced by biology and evolution, we shouldn’t just ignore the biology part. This is sort of what feminism tries to do, except sometimes to an extreme. By ignoring biology, feminists can blame everything they don’t like about men on society, socialization, and enculturation and use that as justification to try to brainwash socialize away all undesirable biologically-influenced aspects of male behavior in boys. This might be why you see evolution and biology emph…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/23 06:16 AM
13

To add on to the second point, I think men are also victims of gender agency bias, the Women are Wonderful effect, and misandry. Men are associated with hyperagency and are more often perceived as perpetrators or have their problems blamed individualistically on their actions. Women, on the other hand, are associated more with hypoagency and are more often perceived as victims or have their problems blamed on others. The Women are Wonderful Effect refers to the tendency for people to view women …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 09:26 PM
3

I think one can put themselves in the friendzone or fuckzone. In the case of men, it’s often out of desperation from having few options. “Maybe if I become her friend she’ll give me a chance”. In the case of women, it’s often from selecting unrealistically desirable options. “Maybe if I casually date this guy with tons of options he won’t treat me like another option”. In this case, women often have more options and more agency to influence their outcome based on the kinds of guys they select, c…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:58 PM
1

I would consider the women in the link you sent to just be "out of shape", not fat. The female equivalent of this might be disliking guys that are very thin and skinny without any muscle mass because they just sit on their computer all day not eating or moving. There's a site called My Body Gallery where women can upload pictures with their height and weight. Looking through that, I determined that I tend to find women within the US CDC healthy BMI range of 18-25 as having the most attractive bo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 02:47 PM
1

Income is icing on the cake. If the cake isn’t healthy, no amount of icing is going to fix that. Also it’s not necessarily the income, but rather, education, intelligence, ambition, etc. Having daddy’s credit card isn’t as much of a bonus as being smart and successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 11:28 AM
1

I wasn’t blaming feminism for anything, just stating a fact. Modern feminism tends to heavily downplay biology and evolution. Our behavior is influenced by social, cultural, and biological factors, but ignoring the biological part allows one to hate biological influences and justify stigmatizing them, pathologizing them, and attempting to brainwash socialize them away.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 03:50 AM
2

In his book Dataclysm the math-nerdy OK Cupid cofounder Christian Rudder outlines his findings based on playing around with OkCupid rating data that women generally tend to rate men 1-3 years older the highest until around 40 when women then start to rate younger men more highly. In contrast, men regardless of age tended to rate women 18-24 the highest.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 04:50 PM
1

28M. My girlfriend is 25. When I was on dating apps I set my age range 22-32. I think women generally tend to look best during their years of fertility which makes sense biologically and evolutionarily. It’s just unfortunate that feminism so extensively denies and/or pathologizes biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 03:06 PM
–

Women genuinely don’t understand what men go through and place more importance on their own plights. For example, a woman may cite “safety” to justify profiling men as threats, stigmatizing men as criminals, and pathologizing male sexual desire. In reality this is just sexism. Furthermore, there is male hyperagency and female hypoagency bias. For many domains including dating, men are generally perceived as having more agency and are more often individualistically blamed. Finally, there is the “…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:32 PM
3

Society has uplifted straight young men for centuries. In the past, every aspect of society was developed and constructed around comforting and supporting straight men at the neglect of women and sexual minorities. Let’s talk about the Sateré-Mawé tribe. Copying from Wikipedia because I don’t feel like typing it all out: The Sateré-Mawé people intentionally use bullet ant stings as part of their initiation rites to become a warrior. The ants are first rendered unconscious by submerging them in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 05:20 PM
1

I consider myself very regular, but for our second date, I invited my now girlfriend over for wine and charcuterie sex. The very next evening, she invited me over to show me her place have sex. We were casual for several months and then became official.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 01:39 PM
22

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34020921/ https://apps.ovpue.indiana.edu/surveys/download.php?file=reports_other/189.pdf&filename=Herbenick%20Patterson%20et%20al%20JSM%202021%20Diverse%20behaviors%20undergraduates%20choking%20and%20other%20behaviors.pdf Herbenick, D., Patterson, C., Beckmeyer, J., Rosenstock Gonzalez, Y.R., Luetke, M., Guerra-Reyes, L., Eastman-Mueller, H., Svetina Valdivia, D., & Rosenberg, M. (2021b). Diverse sexual behaviors in undergraduate students: Findings from a campus p…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/04/23 03:10 AM
61

Feminism even gaslights women into thinking they are misogynists. It's so freaking toxic. I have a pretty decent example of how the toxic culture of feminism might silence and discourage less extreme/crazy feminists that might actually be motivated by gender equality and not misandry: I got banned from commenting in r/AskFeminists because someone posted an article about a study saying that something like ~50% of women have gotten choked during sex. I asked if the study distinguished consensual a…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/04/23 09:43 PM
11

Interestingly, I don’t see an overview, targets/tactics, and indicators sheet for RMVEs. If you look at the documents, every part has an “U/FOUO” label which means unclassified or for official use only. This might suggest that something on the RMVE reference sheet is classified and wasn’t allowed to be released with the FOIA request.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 09:05 PM
28

I think the fundamental problem is agency bias. Men are often viewed as hyperagents while women are viewed as hypoagents. If a man has a dating issue, we assume it’s the man’s fault. If a woman has a dating issue, we assume it’s men’s fault. So, a lot of advice directed at men probably shouldn’t even be directed at them in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 03:46 PM
2

Richard Reeves, social mobility and inequality researcher at the Brookings Institution, in his book Of Boys and Men In 2018, two researchers, Gijsbert Stoet and David Geary, showed that in more gender-equal countries, such as Finland and Norway, women were less likely to take university courses in STEM subjects. Stoet and Greary called this the "gender-equality paradox."1 They speculated that in countries with high incomes and strong welfare states, the economic incentives to pursue STEM careers…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 01:11 PM
2

The animal species most closely related to humans where females are larger is the Eastern gorilla (Gorilla beringei). Within the Eastern gorilla species, the subspecies known as the mountain gorilla (Gorilla beringei beringei) has the largest females. Are the males oppressed? Uh no, it’s just biology and evolution. Likewise, female bonobos are in their position BECAUSE of easier access and use of sex as conflict resolution and whatnot. It’s a consequence of evolution from the males not having to…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 02:05 AM
3

If someone mentions they care about n-count, while not directly misogynistic, it’s often heavily associated with misogyny. You begin with emphasizing that bonobos are female-led which, given the context, isn’t too big of a deal. However, after you conclude “a lot of strife and tension between genders stems from sexual dimorphism”, and instead of attributing this to biology and evolution, you proceed with “if history had played out without one gender being subjugated by the other, society would b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 11:23 PM
4

The very first thing you emphasize about bonobos after establishing that they are our closest DNA relatives is “female led societies”. You also mention: If history had played out without one gender being subjugated by the other, society would be vastly different today While you do mention bonobo’s mating system, it’s pretty much the last thing you mention. However, that’s probably the main reason why they are actually less sexually size dimorphic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 09:05 PM
8

The most common factor influencing the evolution of larger males across all mammals, including primates, is male-male competition for access to females, which is often associated with polygynous mating systems. Bonobos are less sexually dimorphic in size because they live in large social groups where both males and females form strong social bonds, and mating is not restricted to dominant males. Sexual behavior in bonobos is not limited to reproduction but is also used as a means of conflict res…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 08:38 PM
1

What do you mean by “a new group for this”? And for understanding motivations of sexual assault, it’s social, cultural, and biological. Feminism addresses the social and cultural issues impacting women, but often downplays the influence of biology which paves the way for proxied misandry and pathologization of male biology. I think effectively mitigating sexual assault while also working towards gender equality will involve acknowledging the influence of biology rather than trying to pathologize…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 07:04 PM
1

Using the problems of other countries to justify solutions in another is illogical. Let’s assume we’re talking about the U.S. here, not Afghanistan. A lot of sex crimes are inherently at odds with due process and the assumption of innocence. Rather than trying to eliminate those legal rights just for men, we should instead seek to understand and address the motivations and circumstances influencing the sex crimes. Prevention, not unjust prosecution.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 05:02 PM
2

You keep emphasizing a “standard of proof” in your comments but the whole point of these sites is to circumvent the legal process and eliminate the need for formal proof/testimony. Due process and the assumption of innocence are very important parts to a just legal system but highly inconvenient for women’s supremacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 02:59 PM
9

Studies have found that gay men are more likely to engage in casual sex and have a higher number of sexual partners than lesbian women. A lot of the reasons women give to explain away the casual sex gap in heterosexual relationships don’t really translate into explaining this trend.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 04:27 PM
22

You can add “AI bias” to the list now. (To ChatGPT) tell me a joke about women I'm sorry, but I cannot fulfill that request as it would be inappropriate and offensive. Jokes that belittle or stereotype individuals based on their gender, race, religion, or any other personal characteristic are not acceptable. As an AI language model, my purpose is to provide helpful and informative responses while being respectful and mindful of all individuals. (To ChatGPT) tell me a joke about men Sure, here's …
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates18/04/23 03:39 PM
2

What you’re saying applies to the initial phase of dating and women tend to be the ones that are more initially selective, not men.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/23 08:56 PM
1

Goes on debate sub "Everyone wants to debate for some reason and I don't know why!" The common denominator is you. If the topic is men using women for sex, you're probably pathologizing sex so that men have to counter it by emphasizing romance and commitment. And when the topic is finding girlfriend, you're probably saying men should just forgo sex to demonstrate their commitment to her and so men have to emphasize the importance of casual sexual exploration and discovery.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/23 03:19 PM
2

I "warmed up" ChatGPT (3.5) with the following questions: Are women more important than men? Is there a biological component to sexual desire sort of like desire for food? If there’s body acceptance for eating too much food, why is there not a similar acceptance movement for desiring sex? Is the idea that men’s sexual attraction to women is “objectification” an example of a cultural factor inhibiting mainstream sexual positivity? After that, here are some interesting questions/responses to/from …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/23 06:10 PM
3

If you’re looking for ideas to improve dating apps, I think just adding some simple stats to every profile would do the trick. For example, imagine a woman with digitally-inflated standards is swiping on profiles and sees an unrealistically desirable guy. While she may have swiped on him before, now she sees he gets tons of matches and has low reply rates. So, she might opt to be more realistic and go for a guy with less matches and higher reply rates. Guys could also now avoid women with atroci…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 06:33 PM
7

I think the gym is one of the most dull and boring hobbies in existence and appeals to two kinds of people: (A) those who have an easier time turning their brain off to pick shit up and put it back down again; (B) fucked up guys afraid to be alone with their thoughts relying on the brain-numbing monotony and endorphins.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/23 04:47 AM
8

Have you ever had a bad date?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/23 12:24 AM
3

I once saw info of a guy's legal child custody get put on blast in one of those groups, to tens of thousands of women, as a "red flag".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 11:45 PM
11

Or having your child custody status blasted to tens of thousands of women in a Are We Dating the Same Guy Facebook group.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 11:37 PM
3

This is misandry masquerading as help for men. You're pretending to care about male-on-male issues because it's convenient to advancing your own goals/agenda like removing more men from power. The moment it stops being convenient, you won't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 11:22 PM
1

I’ve been the same dang person since 18 but the attractiveness in interested women slowly grew over time. For me the tipping point was 27 where I started getting actual chances and interest from attractive women. I ended up becoming casual with someone and we just slowly fell for each other modern Hallmark movie style. Based on my experiences, I think men’s SMV definitely grows over time and women need to “date down” when they’re younger to find a guy that will be “comparable” across time.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/23 07:48 PM
1

There are many stages of exercising standards from dating to marriage, but women "control" the dating market because they are extremely selective about the initial stage and essentially control the entry into all other stages. This is why, according to TinderInsights.com, men swipe right on 40% of women while women swipe right on only 7% of men. Given how selective women are for this stage, it doesn't really make sense for men to change anything because any additional initial selectivity on thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 09:11 PM
1

How so?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 08:03 PM
11

Holding women to antiquated norms is demonized as misogyny, while holding men to antiquated norms is praised as a preference and conflated with women’s rights and empowerment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/23 04:43 PM
1

I wouldn’t really call that “success”. I consider success as being able to meet enough attractive women interested in me such that I’m able to filter based on personality and compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 02:39 PM
12

The advice is confusing because it’s often misandristically motivated and intended to shame/blame men, not help them. Dating apps don’t work: go touch grass. Women find you creepy in grocery stores: try bars and clubs. Bars and clubs are over saturated and don’t work: try hobbies/friends of friends. Hobbies don’t work: stop worrying so much about dating. Women tend to have more power to select/choose in the digital age and they are in the best position to receive and act on advice, not men. Howe…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:35 PM
2

At 20 I forced my best friend, who didn’t have a spark for me, to give me a chance at dating with an ultimatum. It worked. We dated and she fell in love. However, we didn’t believe in sacrificing careers and our jobs took us separate ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:12 PM
13

I have disposable income but I’m 5’9” so… didn’t start having success until late twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:52 AM
1

Your body is a part of your attractiveness. You can think about it negatively or positively. Thinking about it positively, you can influence and control a significant portion of your attractiveness with a healthy diet and an active lifestyle. Men aren’t as picky as you think. If you’re healthy, a decent amount of men will find you attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/23 12:28 AM
3

Speaking from experience, the “red pill” for educated left-wing guys is realizing that “the matrix” is feminists and conservatives pretending to “help” men to further their own agendas of misandry and bigotry. You disagree with conservative ideology wanting actual gender equality and liberation from arbitrary gender constructs only to get stabbed in the back by a subtle to blatant range of misandristic holier-than-thou sexist bullshit based on the pathologization of men or male biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 05:56 PM
4

Attractiveness has nothing to do with loyalty, but everything to do with rarity. In the digital age, women get a LOT of options. In order to filter through all those options, they must rely on shallow, quickly-assessed traits like height. However, in the process, they filter out a lot of desirable non-physical traits such that all they're left with are undesirable "attractive leftovers" that were disliked and rejected by the more desirable/attractive women because of those men's qualities. So, i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/23 01:28 AM
3

Who gets to decide if a belief is “disillusioned” or not? I think there’s also a sort of disillusionment self-bias where people consider critiques of their own gender “disillusioned” regardless of the actual truth and extent.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 05:28 PM
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If you filter out 50-90% of your dating options based on something like height and then can’t find a guy willing to cook/clean, that’s your fault, not men’s fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 04:38 PM
17

There’s a website called MyBodyGallery where women upload pics of themselves with their height and weight and you can get a general idea of what women’s bodies look like at different weights. When I look at it, I find the majority of bodies with a BMI around 18.5-24.9 attractive which is, strangely, the CDC healthy BMI range. Weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 04:28 PM
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It’s based on stats just like the one at the top of this comment chain.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 11:41 AM
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The “protector” part is part of the antiquated male “protector-provider” norm. Many women want to escape the “caretaker” role and embrace only a part of the “protector-provider” norm but then refuse to let go of the antiquated “protector” part which severely limits their dating options and often makes women not select men based on cooking/cleaning/care taking. Women choose who they want to marry. You can easily tell if someone does domestic chores. Those women CHOSE to marry guys for other reaso…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 11:30 AM
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Woman: (provider, dating guy) Man: I clearly don’t do much domestic chores but I have attractive “protector” qualities like height Woman: that’s fine, you can marry me Woman: ok actually I changed my mind can you do chores? Man: uhh no? Why are you trying to change me all of a sudden? Woman: complains u/MyLastBestChance: it’s the man’s fault, he must be a mIsOgYnIsT
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 03:13 AM
–

Oh you mean those 40% of marriages where the woman chose who she wanted to marry and is now unhappy about her choice? That must explain why height isn’t a big deal on online dating in favor of cooking, cleaning, and childcare (sarcasm)! It’s hypocritical to expect men to fully embrace the caretaker norm when women refuse to fully drop the male protector-provider norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/23 02:55 AM
6

You’re in NYC.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 10:49 PM
3

You do realize this is a debate subreddit right? You’re dismissing anything other than your false dilemma fallacy as a “loophole”. In reality, dating and feelings are not as simple as you make them out to be. You’re assuming that men “use” women for sex because they clearly know they don’t want a relationship but lie their way into sex. A good analogy is women who “use” men for free dinner. Both definitely happen, but that doesn’t mean it’s the norm, and doesn’t mean you can/should assume that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 08:23 PM
1

I spoke to what you said, and wasn’t blaming you. I was just pointing out the misandry behind the “men should wear makeup” idea. It sounds like you hate the makeup industry, not men, and equate it to misogyny. You don’t have to wear make up. Any woman can just live a healthy, active lifestyle and she will be attractive to a lot of guys. This is why women get so many likes on dating apps - men tend to have more attainable initial physical criteria. If men really did have super unrealistic standar…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 08:14 PM
1

Make a dating profile as a dude and say this to your monthly match that has hundreds of options and see how it goes: “Hey so I just wanted to be upfront and honest with you. While I am 100% looking for something serious and exclusive, I prefer to be sexually intimate during the dating process. While physical and sexual chemistry are important to me, I am NOT just obsessed with sex. I find that I am better able to focus on long term compatibility while dating when my physical desires are satiated…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 06:59 PM
5

If everyone knows how they actually feel at all times, what’s the point of dating? Why don’t we just propose to people at first sight?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 06:30 PM
4

It’s unrealistic to expect a definitive “yes/no” before dates or sex. It’s always “maybe”. Just as women aren’t obligated to stick around, neither are men. You shouldn’t need to communicate that, that’s just how dating works. If you’re a woman that pathologizes sex and unrealistically expects commitment from men during dating, the problem isn’t the men, it’s you. You’re creating a dating environment where guys have to choose between being completely honest or getting no chances at exploring roma…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 05:00 PM
4

Feelings are complicated. Circumstances are dynamic. Romance is rarely a simple yes/no. Sex is a part of dating that can influence how you feel about someone, or help you realize that you were into someone out of lust, not love. If I go on a date with a woman and she feels differently about me afterwards. Was I used? I could certainly perceive it as such. There are definitely women out there that just use guys for dinner. Should I go off assuming that all women use men for dates?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 03:52 PM
14

It’s because of feminism-induced misandry via the idea that men are oppressors that “use” and “abuse” women. Everything must be men’s fault in some way. If a man chooses to have sex with a woman and something doesn’t work out in his favor, it’s his fault. If a woman chooses to have sex with a man and something doesn’t work out in her favor, it’s her his fault. She was used.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 03:43 PM
11

This is the same perspective restated. You’re perceiving the sex as “being used” rather than “the person got an opportunity with someone desirable that could have converted into something more but unfortunately didn’t”. This is actually how I met my girlfriend! We started out casual and discovered something more along the way. The problem is perspective. Women keep dating super desirable guys that leave them and they blame it on the men/sex rather than their own unrealistic standards. You’re not…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 03:14 PM
1

Reducing obsession with “obtaining women” could definitely help to an extent, but I think that goal is partly founded in misandry. The motivation isn’t to help men, it’s hatred of men. There are two sides to every coin, but this modern misandristic dark side doesn’t get addressed because it’s conflated with women’s rights and empowerment. Makeup is another example of this. It could help to an extent, but it’s only half the story. It’s pretty common nowadays to blame men for everything. If a woma…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 01:13 PM
-1

Feminism: let’s free everyone from antiquated gender roles/norms Also feminism: eh we don’t really care about women choosing tall, high status “protector-provider” men, we just care about men choosing “caretaker” women
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 07:21 PM
19

Governments could take away rights SO easily by just brainwashing your kids in those dorm style institutions. Whoever controls the kids controls the future.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 06:35 PM
45

They sent out mock applications, one per company, to openings across Germany, Netherlands, Norway, Spain, UK, US for: (ISCO codes in parentheses): Cook (512), payroll clerk (2411, 3313, 411, 412), receptionist (422), sales representative (3322), software developer (252), and store assistant (522). They note: Many occupations are likely to comprise different sex-typed jobs, and the occupations included here vary in their gender profiles.[7] Supplementary Table S1 provides an overview of the gende…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/04/23 05:54 PM
1

Being attracted to confidence is a less shallow euphemism for being attracted to attractive men. Repeated success gives you confidence, and being attractive gives you repeated success. So, in this case the favorable self-bias has already been implemented and I wouldn’t expect there to be much difference between on/offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 03:31 PM
1

I disagree with the dismissal of online dating as “not real life” because it is increasingly becoming a major part of modern dating. I’m on mobile but I can edit in research later showing how a significant and increasing amount of younger people are meeting online. This dismissal is just one of many misandristic arguments designed to individualistically blame men for modern dating problems. In this case, it’s trying to say modern dating problems are men’s fault because they are using or relying …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 03:14 PM
11

The “Former U. Md. student cleared of sex assault claims sues school, 2 ex-members of campus advocacy group” article is interesting. The suit claims even after the university panel cleared “Doe,” he was repeatedly defamed by two former students, who are identified as “Defendant 2” and “Defendant 3” in the lawsuit “Doe” alleges in the suit that the two students, who used to hold leadership roles in the on-campus organization “Preventing Sexual Assault,” which is recognized by the school, repeated…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates04/04/23 03:03 PM
1

Unmasculine stigma against Asian men is like an actual studied phenomenon that supports OP’s point. In Dataclysm, Christian Rudder found that women in general rated men 1-3 years older the highest until around 40 and then it starts to change to younger. I believe height preference is a great example of toxic, antiquated standards of masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 11:29 AM
1

Also from the source: Single men are more likely than their female counterparts to be searching for romantic experiences. Half of these men are looking for a committed relationship and/or casual dates, while 35% of single women say the same The gap is probably partly from women (un)knowingly “dating” the same guy and partly from age gaps, but I’ve seen articles saying the true/full cause has researchers stumped. If a woman doesn’t have casual access to the “top” men she might just want to be sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 03:13 AM
1

I mean I use concealer as a guy. No amount of makeup stops women from swiping left on you because of your height tho. Per OP’s point, preference for traits like height far out weigh the small gains a man might have using makeup. And, that’s why there probably isn’t much of a makeup industry for men. The key isn’t for men to wear makeup, it’s for women to have more realistic expectations of masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 03:00 AM
1

See edit.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 02:53 AM
1

You mistake my point. What I’m speaking to is that women are free critique today for some reason. Can women not have unrealistic standards of masculinity? It’s annoying growing up with all this hype about “freeing us” from antiquated gender norms only to be slapped in the face by them dating as a guy. It’s like feminism just exits women’s bodies the instant they start dating. Are we liberating everyone from antiquated norms, or just women? Are we just going to let women cling to toxically mascul…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 02:52 AM
1

So you’d want older men using make up to be more appealing to you and deceiving you about their true age?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 02:25 AM
1

Makeup is designed to accentuate female “signals” of youth, health, and fertility that men find attractive. If you made makeup for men, it would be completely different from women’s makeup. Effective men’s “makeup” already exists. It’s dressing nice (give the perception of intelligence/success), wearing shoes that make you taller, exaggerating your height, beard products, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/23 12:12 AM
5

Makeup isn’t as effective for guys. If it was, there would be a makeup industry for guys. You ever hear the insult “you get no bitches”? Success with attractive women is the absolute trump card above all else and guys would wear makeup if it actually made a significant impact. This concept is just a small part of a politicized assault against men trying to find creative ways to shift blame onto men for everything. It’s misandry. I am a “young looking” attractive guy. I wear concealer. I am liter…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:58 PM
-2

The effectiveness of makeup for women comes from its ability to conceal the signs of aging accentuate, highlight, emulate, or “make up” female “signals” of youth, health, and fertility in the face/skin that men find attractive. Women aren’t really attracted to younger or more youthful looking men until their 40s. So, makeup would only help much older guys, not guys in their 20s and 30s as much would not help guys as much in the same way. Makeup for men already exists, it’s just not the same thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 09:31 PM
1

The only ass I remember checking out today was a woman at a grocery store with shorts so tight that they formed a visible crack (example pic).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/23 04:12 AM
2

This is a symptom of modern behavioral economics of dating. Women receive more options than ever before in the digital age which causes them to have extreme initial filters. Unfortunately, women only have access to very limited shallow information for this initial filter such as height, physical attractiveness, education, career, etc. Consequently, women filter out hordes of men based on shallow qualities to the point that they're only left with attractive "leftovers" - a subset of men that meet…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/23 06:14 PM
67

Misandry is everywhere when you start to look for it. I remember seeing a literal box of kitchen crap on the front page of Reddit thinking how tf did this get so many upvotes. It was titled “how my boyfriend packed up a moving box of kitchen stuff while I was at work”. It was feminist bingo! (X) she was working/providing, (X) boyfriend is bad at something home related, (X) post invites and has misandry in the comments. Another example I noticed recently is roommate/apartment/sublet search pages.…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates30/03/23 04:16 AM
5

Every woman should make a dating profile as one of their male friends/peers and see how it feels. Give them a goal of “finding a date” and watch as their standards slowly fall and swipe rate slowly increases in “desperation”.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 06:50 PM
10

So… attractive women get unlimited opportunities to be used for non-orgasmic, unpleasant, uncomfortable and unsatisfying sex (aka “dating”) with men who, at best, don’t give a crap about them, may actively dislike them and definitely don’t respect or care about them and then get vilified for it Attractive women get unlimited opportunities but then unrealistically filter them until the only men left have tons of options and the women are, unsurprisingly, treated like another option.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 03:45 AM
8

My source is specifically about a dating site or app, not "online" My source is specifically about a dating site or app, not "online" My source is specifically about a dating site or app, not "online"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 03:05 AM
8

In the words of Richard Reeves, a intergenerational social mobility and inequality scholar: Fathers matter for their children’s welfare in ways that are different from, but equal to, those of mothers1. Engaged fatherhood has been linked to a whole range of outcomes, from mental health, high school graduation, social skills, and literacy to lower risks of teen pregnancy, delinquency, and drug use2. Three-year-olds with involved, supportive dads score more highly on tests of cognitive development3…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/23 02:55 AM
9

The 53% Pew stat is for "ever used a dating site or app". It's 20% for 18-29 individuals who "met their current spouse or partner on a dating site or app". However, 20% is still a very significant amount and more and more studies are confirming the importance of online dating which is my main point (because it's very annoying to see people dismiss dating app issues as "oh it's not real life").
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 10:46 PM
39

Pew's 2022 survey found only 20% of couples met through a dating site or app. Regardless, people cannot keep discounting and dismissing online dating disparities with "it's not real life" and "it's not that big of deal". Online dating is, and is continuing to become, an increasingly significant part of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 10:19 PM
2

That’s actually a perfect example for demonstrating the issue. People who say that are basically downplaying the issue as “try being more gay”. It’s misandristic, politically motivated, and continues to individualistically blame men. A major source of stigma against bi men, for example, is from straight women! Rather than addressing straight women’s stigmatization of bi men, however, people tend to just accept and empower women doing that as a preference and look the other way, the “other way” o…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 10:10 PM
2

I think a major source of young male sexual interest is perceived scarcity. There's a vast difference in the perceived scarcity of sex between men and women that causes young men to desire it, and young women to pathologize it. Eliminate the perceived scarcity of sex and you diminish its rarity/value, resulting in sex being more meaningless. Wouldn't it be great for casual sex to be more meaningless to young men?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 08:47 PM
3

Perceiving male sexual interest as objectification is part of the problem, in my opinion. I believe it’s simultaneously misandristic AND misogynistic. It pathologizes male biology, stigmatizes submissiveness, and perpetuates the stereotype that women (or anyone being submissive/penetrated, not necessarily a woman) are “used” during sex rather than sex being what it actually is: a mutual act between two consenting adults.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 11:41 AM
3

Stop completely downplaying the influence of biology on behavior Stop pathologizing male biology In alignment with intersectionality, realize that components of our identity can combine to create specific instances of oppression unique to everyone INCLUDING MEN Stop stigmatizing and threat profiling men as criminals (sexism) Stop one-upping, downplaying, invalidating, demonizing, and censoring men’s issues Stop framing male oppression as a problem of men. “It is men who must be fixed one man at …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 03:19 AM
6

I’ve seen research confirming that the number of single men drops drastically 30-49 compared to 18-29. However, I think 18-29 dating frustrations for men are one of the single greatest sources of misogyny in western society. If young men entered the dating market being just as loved, desired, and romantically successful as young women, I bet significantly less guys would be growing bitter and resentful. Unfortunately, I think many feminists would rather shit a brick than do anything to benefit m…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 10:28 PM
8

I think you misspelled “haven’t found a way to deny/discount evidence challenging my invariant worldview”
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 09:56 PM
3

K https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/ When looking at age and gender together, 63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single, compared with 34% of women in the same age group. Younger men are also far more likely than older men to be single – a pattern that is not as straightforward among women. Women ages 18 to 29, for example, are just as likely as women 65 and older to report being single
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 09:34 PM
15

I think you just have an avoidant attachment style with intelligence.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 09:07 PM
6

Ignorance is bliss.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 08:59 PM
36

According to Pew Research, 34% of women 18-29 are single compared to 63% of 18-29 men. It is 100% valid to say there aren’t a ton of single women (source). Women tend to pathologize, stigmatize, and threat profile “random” guys so it’s a lot harder to meet women outside of your circle out and about. Speaking from experience, I’d rather just be friends with women in my circle, not fuck them. 2B - OP is voicing his perspective on what it feels like to be a stigmatized outsider / stranger. You tend…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 08:52 PM
1

Yep! I think there’s a healthy balance where men can include more representative pics/info, and those evaluating men’s profiles can try to swipe/date less evaluatively and more experientially.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 07:02 PM
5

I think people tend to make profiles that mirror their own dating perceptions/experiences, not their target audience’s. In other words, straight women make profiles appealing to straight women, and straight men make profiles appealing to straight men. Women put tons of effort into their profiles because they’re used to being highly selective. They like having as much info as possible to filter guys out upfront and employ that in their own profiles. Meanwhile, guys are more experiential. They’d r…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 06:17 PM
1

How did humans date before money existed?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 03:17 AM
9

r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates! I believe the mission statement will answer all of your questions. It's very different from TRP (hence "leftist"), but I think it's sort of the TRP equivalent for leftist guys that might grow up becoming bitter/resentful due to male-specific issues and/or dating and not really feel at home with feminism or conservatism. Some excerpts from the mission statement: Currently, left-wing male advocates feel politically homeless. In existing men's rights spaces, left-wing voice…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 09:47 PM
5

According to U.S. Pew research, 20% of 18-29 partnered adults met online (compared to 10% at all ages). If you look at another recent Pew source, only 34% of women aged 18-29% are single. So if 66% of women 18-29 aren't single, and 20% of 18-29 partnered adults meet online, that means about 13.2% of 18-29 women probably met someone online. To put this into perspective, for every five single 18-29 U.S. women there are another two 18-29 U.S. women that consider themselves “not single” with someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 09:26 PM
1

It’s an analogy. OP is claiming your standards (aka the price you appraise yourself at) is irrelevant because “the market” (aka other people and dating economics) decide how desirable you are (aka your actual price/worth) and I’m arguing that’s not true because the price you set (your standards) may not accurately reflect your holistic market value across time.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 08:07 PM
4

Theories can be anything you want and you can create verifiable or falsifiable hypotheses based on the theory to validate/challenge the theory’s validity. For example, the evolutionary psychology theory of dual-mating strategy is pretty popular amongst redpillers which suggests that women have evolved to evaluate mates based on gene quality (physical attractiveness) and long term reliability (personality / ability to provide), and will pursue the former for short term mating and the latter for l…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 07:38 PM
2

Behavioral economics is another good one that I feel like gets overlooked for political reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 06:48 PM
10

Evolutionary psychology isn’t any more of a pseudoscience than astrophysics. We can’t create blackholes here for experiments, but we can still theorize about them, create other assumptions/tests, and verify those other assumptions to add validity to the theories. Theories from evolutionary psychology aren’t experimentally verifiable unless you want to create multigenerational experiments of humans in Siberia or something. Given how incredibly unethical and infeasible that is, instead, evolutiona…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 06:15 PM
1

What if market value changes over time and a certain group of people takes advantage of their high initial market value to monopolize and instantiate high standards of pricing, thus creating artificially low supply and high demand? And, once their market value equalizes, they push for heavy regulation to stifle the competition from doing the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 04:04 PM
13

In my opinion, economic factors can def explain lower fertility rates, but I don’t think they fully account for dating/marriage trends. Raising a kid costs money but you can still fuck, date, or marry someone you love without spending a dime. If it’s 40% more expensive to be dating nowadays, that also means women tend to expect men to pay 40% more on dates nowadays. While economic conditions may have worsened, there are two sides to every coin. You can blame modern trends on the economy and men …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/23 03:46 PM
3

Frustrated about how expensive home contractors are! I need to learn how to replace parts of my toilet on YouTube because a plumber would want to charge $300-$400 for it. And I need to learn drywall patching because I might have a leak so the plumber has to cut a giant hole in the ceiling to check but doesn’t do drywall patching and if I tried to ask someone else to do it they’d want to charge hundreds of dollars. I tried calling a few diff plumbers but they all have some BS “visit deductible” t…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/03/23 08:30 PM
25

Let’s turn it into a general checkup! @everyone how are you doing? Do you feel useful? Wanted? Purposeful? What do you look forward to? What do you dread? When was the last time you got your general health physical? Anything keeping you up at night? What’s your screen time at? Any goals/projects?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates22/03/23 05:26 PM
3

Men and women feel/perceive sex differently and women tend to heavily pathologize the way men feel it. As a guy, it’s a lot easier to think about love/romance/compatibility, and have higher standards, when you aren’t sexually starved all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 02:12 PM
1

If you’re talking about primes and “young men not getting sex” in the same context, that is inherently about encouraging more young women to select/choose young men around their age that are comparably desirable across all ages and isn’t hypocritical. A temporally looksmatched couple will have the woman be more relatively desirable early on, and the man more relatively desirable later on. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 12:46 PM
2

I’d support it if it was more anonymized, respective of privacy, and gender neutral. There needs to be a discerning/filtering trusted intermediary between submitters and requesters of private info such that the information you can get on a person is valuable but more limited, and doesn’t connect you with their exes.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/23 01:42 AM
3

I’ve seen some creeps get outed but I’ve also seen some very personal shit like child custody get publicized to 60k women. There are also tons of women that can just say “message me” in the comments and god knows what they’re saying. The intent is noble, but it has too much potential for misuse. I think a lot of those women would not feel comfortable with their future partners being able to connect with any of their exes asking for “tea”.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 11:49 PM
3

I think how we got together is a super romantic story. We started off casual just having sex and going on fun dates! I found out she was a drunk crier on our second date. She started crying and I just thought it was so genuine. It made me want to coddle her and try to cheer her up. She kept saying “you’re never going to want to see me again” and I just reassured her it wasn’t a big deal and just hugged her and helped her sober up. A couple months in she had a beach trip planned but her friend ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 07:56 PM
2

This is one of the things that makes feminism deceptive and dangerous. A major contributor to the gender wage gap is women’s choice but feminists refuse to see/believe that, or if they do, it’s “internalized misogyny” or “choice feminism” or some other bullshit derogatory term designed to shame/silence women that disagree with the authoritative cult leaders.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates21/03/23 07:02 PM
-1

Cuddles, affirmation, making me laugh, caretaking instincts, fun dates, tasteful roasts, turning on the shower to scalding hot temperatures and having me convinced that she’s demonic, weekend trips, movie nights, “feminine touch” on decorations (I usually prefer more minimalistic, gray/blue, and functional aesthetics while she prefers color, random shit hung and sat around lol). I cook better than my girlfriend so I like it when she enjoys the stuff I make. And sex of course. The issue isn’t tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 06:01 PM
17

I’d be GDPRing the shit out of those groups so it’s no wonder they’re being booted. It’s like cyber bullying under the guise of protecting women. Any data that can be used to identify an individual, either on its own or in combination with other data, is considered personal data under GDPR. If you believe that your personal data has been shared on a platform without your consent or in violation of GDPR requirements, you can contact the platform's data protection officer or file a complaint with …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 04:09 PM
3

My success on dating apps surprisingly increased as I got older. I have an attractive face but I’m an average height and thin so at bars and clubs women would undervalue the hell out of me and I could tell. It’s just not possible to counteract that because you end up coming off as cocky. On dating apps I could showcase myself through cool pics like 360ing down the mountain on skis, latin dancing, jet skiing in the Caribbean and women would come in like “you’re pretty cool” and then I could be hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 01:35 PM
7

15-20: struggle bus 20: started dating very fit, exotic, ballroom dancer turned CS major. She didn't "feel a spark” with me so I befriended her and was her (not actually) "gay best friend". It was tough on my mental health that she wouldn't even consider giving me a chance, so I had to force her with an ultimatum. She said no, so I just cut her out of my life. A few days later she said she felt awful and gave us chance. I was ecstatic and very patient and she ended up falling for me. It was a pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 04:26 AM
3

Girl thought I was tall, we chatted for 2 weeks. Convo got sexual, height came up. She found out I was 5'9" and poof gone. It's not every woman but it's enough to be very noticeable. Like I had a 6'3" roommate whose personality was sports and drinking. Dude got MAD matches and dates, just not much interest beyond that. After rooming with him, every time I see some article blaming modern dating on men being immature or emotionally unavailable I just laugh now. Like yea no shit that's what happens…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/23 04:00 AM
3

What Type of Person Would Agree to Have Sex With a Stranger? Schmitt (2008) examined men's and women's attitudes toward casual sex around the world and found wherever you go lesbians tend to have the same sexual attitudes as heterosexual women (and gay men have the same attitudes as heterosexual men). Moreover, in every region he examined, regardless of orientation, men tended to have more positive attitudes toward casual sex as women. However, because gay men have other men as their potential m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 07:40 PM
6

A comprehensive review of 150 studies found overwhelming evidence that men have a higher sex drive, “reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures.”
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 07:35 PM
4

Still a gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/23 07:24 PM
13

I think it’s because, just as misandrists and women’s supremacists hide behind “feminism” to advance their agenda, so too can misogynists/conservatives hide behind “men’s issues” to further their agenda. Men’s issues have been demonized as misogynistic and antifeminist (anti gender-equality). As we approach gender equality and men’s issues grow in comparison to women’s issues, the demonization lingers. We have to work to break the association between men’s issues and misogyny/conservatism. We al…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates20/03/23 05:23 PM
10

I remember a feminist talking about women having to “act nice” to avoid confrontation/consequences with men and I was like I DO THAT TOO.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates17/03/23 03:35 PM
1

It can be nerve-wracking to come out. A lot of people still don’t like LGTBQ people because they simp for Jesus or whatever, it’s just less acceptable for them to publicly voice their hate nowadays. When you come out you expose yourself to a lot of hate while finally embracing your own identity. We are proud of people figuring out their identity in plenty of other contexts. For example, imagine someone doesn’t know what they want to do in life and finally finds their career/calling. It’s somethi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 08:45 PM
14

The idea that men care more about looks than women. Men tend to have a physical threshold, most commonly for women with an attainably healthy body. This threshold is super easy to meet by most women with diet and exercise, but because men absolutely won’t go below it, they’re perceived as “caring more about looks”. Women, on the other hand tend to have an extremely high initial physical threshold. They often have to go below it in order to find certain qualities because their threshold is so hig…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 08:29 PM
1

Even if people are “silently” racist/sexist/classist it’s still a problem. When it comes to dating, many people excuse toxic, antiquated standards as “preferences”. Compare a tall masculine woman’s dating prospects to a short feminine man today and you’ll see the guy is horribly worse off. The tall masculine woman might have trouble finding a conventionally attractive tall man, but she’ll still get plenty of interest. Why? Because OP is kinda right. Conventionally masculine qualities are being c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 06:45 PM
3

It boosts but doesn’t substitute for being healthy/fit. For example, out of two healthy and fit women that take good care of their bodies, I’d rather date a lawyer or PhD woman than a career waitress. I’d rather keep looking than be with an unhealthy and unfit woman that doesn’t take care of her body regardless of her education or career.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/23 12:35 PM
1

I have a few theories. First, according to behavioral economist and psychologist Dan Ariely, women employ a top X strategy and will only be willing to date the “top X” guys in their perceived dating group where X depends on the woman. However, as dating group size increases such as in online dating, women’s personal X value doesn’t change. So if they’d only be willing to date 50 guys out of 1000 or so they meet in real life, they’d still only be willing to date the best 50 guys out of the tens o…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 08:24 PM
2

Ah like caring about someone’s height?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 07:53 PM
1

What’s your definition of objectification?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 07:50 PM
3

So if average men care more about looks than average women, why do men swipe right on ~40% of women on average on dating apps while women swipe right on only ~7% of men? If men care more about looks, wouldn’t it be the other way around? If every hetero couple has a “more” conventionally attractive woman, maybe you just think all men are more average/ugly than they really are? Maybe most women think that way as well, and if so, “not caring about looks” would be synonymous with just having realist…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 07:42 PM
1

So if it’s now their choice, what happens if the man doesn’t want it but the woman wants it while the embryo is in another woman’s body. Whose body and choice is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 04:21 PM
0

I know, I was just pointing out it’s a lot more complicated than just “her body her choice” when it comes to egg freezing. Lots of bodies and choices are involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 04:06 PM
-1

So is it okay to sign away the rights to your body for other purposes too in exchange for money?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 03:50 PM
2

“Hot” is relative. As I said in my earlier comment, most women are a gym membership and self-discipline away from being considered “hot”. Uglier guys are more likely to find uglier women attractive, especially if they have a nice body.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 03:43 PM
-1

Well isn’t that then her body, someone else’s choice?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 03:11 PM
3

No guy is going to “hit and quit” a woman they really really like. Literally speaking from experience here. My girlfriend and I had sex on the second date and started off casual. I stuck around initially because she was really freaking hot, and I officially asked her out a few months later because I discovered she was also really freaking cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 03:03 PM
0

Well if you freeze your eggs it’s technically part of her body but outside her body, but then a part of a man’s body must be inserted. Then, they have to decide if parts of their body will be inserted back into her body or another woman’s body. So now it’s technically his body, her body, and another woman’s body. Whose choice is it now? If the surrogate cites “my body my choice” she could just abort and kill your last chance at ever having a child lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 02:56 PM
4

There was an “ugly” woman at my college with some extreme jaw deformity that just hit the gym and built a booty so nice that other women would pay her for booty building classes. She had no problems getting attention and intimacy. Meanwhile, when short or “ugly” guys hit the gym they just get hated for their ego, discounted for compensating, and just get perceived as more creepy and threatening. The “plight” of “ugly” women isn’t discussed because they’re usually a year of self-discipline and gy…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/23 02:40 PM
1

If I suddenly turned into a woman I’d be out of my own league today! So, assuming there’s an even amount of evenly distributed people on it, I’d totally do it. A smart service/algorithm would use Gale-Shapely to optimally match me with a woman with similar interests/lifestyle such that there exists no other better option who doesn’t have a better option themselves. As a fit, thin, average-height guy that eats healthy, is super active, and loves to dance, all the women with accurately-reported si…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 11:34 PM
1

It’s a pretty controversial topic because biological differences in behavior would be inconvenient to many feminist beliefs. I think our behavior derives from a combination of biological, social, cultural, and individual influences. Given all this, differences in sexual perception between men and women are more of two overlapping distributions than two distinct distributions. So, when discussing the “difference” it’s important to be mindful of it being in general while also not letting the exist…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 07:46 PM
0

It’s not that men “view everything through the lens of sex”. Women just don’t tend to feel the same way about sex and pathologize the way men feel it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 05:04 PM
3

I think marriage is great model of stability and commitment for childcare but it’s not a solution to the intimacy/emotional/loneliness crisis.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/23 02:41 PM
1

While more women joining the labor market is great, this also causes men’s wages to fall comparatively. If women earn more comparatively whilst clinging to the antiquated male “protector-provider” norm and hypocritically expecting to be freed of their own antiquated caretaker norms, it can have larger sinister effects. For example, in Middle class marriage is declining, and likely deepening inequality: Others have argued that there is feedback mechanism between declining economic prospects for m…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 02:26 PM
3

According to inequality and social mobility scholar Richard Reeves, “the women who have achieved the greatest degree of economic independence, with high levels of education and earning potential, are the ones who are now most likely to get married and stay married.” I think the trend of not having kids could be due to other factors like better family planning. Marriage rates among well-educated, affluent Americans have held steady, at quite high levels, in recent decades - but have fallen for ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 02:05 PM
0

Cheating as a man and woman is technically “the same” because the definition of cheating is constant. However, if you examine common differences between men and women, the definition of cheating seems a little biased against men. In dating, women tend to be able to get casual intimacy easily so for that, and various other reasons, they tend to want an emotional connection and investment from a HVM, not casual intimacy. Women tend to hate how quickly men can get sexual, and how easily men can avo…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/23 01:43 PM
1

I personally define toxic masculinity as: Judging guys for invariant qualities due to the amount of testosterone they received in their mother's womb i.e. height, facial hair, etc. Men doing or not doing things out of fear of being thought of as gay Dictating men need to do ABC or be XYZ "to be a man" And that's pretty much it. It's not just directed at men, women can employ toxic masculinity too (and many do).
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/23 03:09 AM
10

According to Allied Market Research, the global wedding services market size is projected reach $414.2 billion by 2030. Just for reference of some other global market sizes: Gaming - expected to reach $321 billion by 2026 (source) Music streaming - grew from $27.29 billion to $30.99 billion in 2023 (source) Smartphone - expected to reach $493 billion by 2026 (source) Diamonds - $94.96 billion, expected to reach 139.91 billion by 2030 (source) You can still get married without a wedding though so…
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates13/03/23 02:11 AM
2

I think the next big porn revolution will be from generative AI. There's no way we'll have realistic, manufacturable sex robots affordable to the middle class anytime soon. That would probably take a TON of materials and be very wasteful. The generative-porn AI won't generate new people, pornstars can just get digitized and they'd make money whenever users select/use their digitized model. The generative AI would figure out your deepest darkest desires and generate realistic scenes. The generati…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 09:00 PM
1

I mean you're welcome to interpret it however you want, but the groom would traditionally have to get the blessing/approval of the father (not the mother) and the wedding vows have the father say I give thee. It's not I bless thee, I entrust thee, I allow thee, I adorn thee... of all the verbs and wordings out there it's I give thee [bride's name] to be his wedded wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 08:11 PM
2

They choose more flexible position with less play BECAUSE one parent needs to once there are kids involved. Someone needs to stay home when they are sick, take them to the doctor, the dentist, and budget extra time for extra meal prep, laundry, etc. it doesn’t half to be the mom but it usually is. Right so, per gender equality, women can increasingly place this expectation on men. However, doing so would require women to STOP caring so much about the stereotypical "protector-provider" men and fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 07:47 PM
2

Women take pay cuts because they choose more flexible positions with less pay. Women can also find a guy that also has a flexible, less-paying job willing to take on equal expectations of childcare. However, in order to find a guy like that, you may need to relax the height preference. Fortunately, we aren't hunter-gatherers anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 07:14 PM
-1

Bit of a hot take here but I think cheating is defined to disadvantage men. During the dating phase women tend to look for emotional connection over sex. However, cheating is most commonly defined as having intimacy with another person. If a guy has sex with a woman without any form of emotional attachment to her, that's cheating, but if a woman forms an emotional connection with another guy that's just "friendship". So, of course men "cheat" more. The women who are forming emotional connections…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 06:54 PM
2

women need “economically viable men” to consider getting married Women don't need economically viable men to get married, they want economically viable men. That's a key difference. Reeves' discusses the loss of the male provider role, and it's kind of funny seeing all the misandry now about how men offer women comparatively little I don't think the problem is men, I think the problem is that many women refuse to appreciate men for things beyond their height and their paycheck.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:19 PM
2

And women have a lot to gain by learning how to love men for more than just their height or their paycheck
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 06:20 AM
1

It's always been symbolic. Just started off as symbolizing the transfer of ownership from one family to another. We can accept/embrace the existence of patriarchal elements of the past/present without letting feminists shame us for it and use it to justify misandry, sexism against men, and/or women's supremacy in the present.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:45 AM
2

I understood your argument and disagree. There's no evidence that violent/unemployed men used to be getting married more. There is evidence, however, that women are starting to out-earn men more due to the effects of gender-equality, but many still cling to the husband breadwinner norm. And, just to reiterate my previous point, research shows that there are both men and women clinging to this norm, but based on what I've seen, the women tend to idolized (e.g. she just has preferences) while the …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 04:26 AM
1

Meanwhile, in South Korea: How South Korea’s Yoon Suk-yeol Capitalized on Anti-Feminist Backlash to Win the Presidency In most other westernized countries though... "Less than a third of American women identify as feminists" (48% of Democratic women, 13% Republican) (2019 source). "Many Western Europeans and Americans are reluctant to describe themselves as feminists, even though they think men and women should be treated equally" (from 3 days ago, source). Liberal guys are fighting back against…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 03:52 AM
1

Many modern weddings still have the dad "hand off" the bride, a custom going back thousands of years to when women were property. I think there were, and still are, a lot of patriarchal elements in society and I don't blame feminists for addressing them. However, many feminists still cling to the foundational belief that women are oppressed and men are oppressors, and the one and only path to gender equality is through the advancement of women's and only women's issues. That is not a sustainable…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/23 02:51 AM
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