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love_to_love_you_ Archive

View 1 post and 76 comments by love_to_love_you_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

I'm thinking you maxed the wrong things. I think women your age got better at assessing non visual qualities fast. They see your looks, talk to you, disqualify and move on. Women over 30 sort for a guy with relationship skills like empathy, generosity, strong self image, integrity. I can't say whether you have those things. I'm betting women, on first meeting, don't feel you have those things. Check Dan Bacon, ToddV, High Integrity Skills on YouTube. Flirt better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:13 PM
5

"I can say the same damn thing for you ...." You post for comments, then get pissy. ????
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 07:49 PM
1

Yup, you're pretty interested. Remember, plenty of lube.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:25 AM
1

So now I, and everyone else reading this, are thinking about you doing what disgusts you. Congratulations. Be sure to be disgusted about this, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:23 AM
2

????!!! Both sexes have massive nerve sensation in the anus. The nerves are deeply enmeshed with the rest of the pelvic floor nerves , the vagus nerve, the whole apparatus that makes orgasm possible. There are many women, many men, who report their best orgasms come from including anal stimulation, including penetration, in their sex. Your "It's Icky!" reaction isn't grounded in fact. You don't have to think about it, or do it. Your disgust doesn't mean others shouldn't enjoy what they find plea…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:16 AM
–

So basically, " Aren't stupid loser guys that ruin their own lives then whine about it all stupid whiny losers?" Well, obviously yes. Your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:15 PM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:09 PM
18

No
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:09 AM
2

You rock!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 02:33 PM
0

Very strong explanation. You sound like a woman who votes, after carefully weighing the choices and evaluating which candidate would most likely back the policies to make this a better world. Very admirable. Yet, oddly, I've lost all inclination to date you. Hmm. (jk)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 03:38 PM
3

The blog post buried the lede. The strongest correlation was with the boy's degree of religiosity. They admitted the survey did nothing to qualify the king of religion or teaching, but that was the strongest correlation with reduced support for gender equality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:04 PM
7

All these absolutist arguments, extending an initial impression of a guy to being final and binary. What a waste of energy. So, let's say it's true, ALL women LUST for the top guys, based ONLY on appearance, and LOATHE all the other guys, excluding them forever and always upon initial visual impressions. How do any guys under 80th percentile exist? Only because previous generations gave women no choice, raping them throughout their marriages? Are 80%+ of us products of systematic rape? Look at y…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 11:20 PM
3

His smv. Or her tight shoes. Or her deadline. Or her sick kid. Say it is his smv. Says it's always smv. What are you going to do about it? Whine on reddit how unfair it is, or do something to improve your situation? Choose the puppy who chooses you, trying it out with a woman who has shown she's interested. Do something to improve where you can on smv; fitness, grooming, wardrobe, flirting skills. No, you can't get taller. There's lots you CAN do that would help much more than complaining.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:10 PM
14

So it's not the put down, it's the agenda? She's putting this opinion forward because she hopes it will raise her value relative to other women? Like a catcall has an unspoken agenda of showing and claiming power in the public space, rather than actually flirting?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 05:11 PM
1

Not a fair reading. Everyone has their initial, visual impressions and preferences. She's free to welcome, decline, or ignore an initial flirtatious signal, verbal or nonverbal. She might decline because she's not initially attracted, because she's exclusive with someone and disciplined enough that her mind never registers initial interest, because she's busy with something and hasn't got the bandwidth to deal, or because her read on the guy, true or not, is he's not actually flirting but catcal…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:55 PM
3

So a different stage. I understood the objectification as primarily before they talk. You find it in verbal cues to how he thinks about another woman. I expect my ability to read nonverbal cues is about average for most adult men. Basically, almost up to the level of the average 12 year old girl. I think my usual concern for what the other person is thinking keeps me from blurting out lizard brain thoughts like 'NICE ASS! ME WANA!' I get those thoughts like any guy, but my inner editor does remi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:39 PM
4

So the difference is whether the man notices and adjusts to her nonverbal cues? The 'being seen as sexy' man shows interest by looking, emphasizing his attention to her reaction, escalating the looking only if her response is congruent with her welcoming the attraction , while the 'seen as an object' man looks intensely, without pause or regard for her response?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 03:53 PM
0

It's the whining that bothers. Yeah, I'm 5'10", not 6'4", so I won't get that initial, unearned selection. I can cry, or i can work on what I can improve. Most whiners do nothing about their flirting skills. The internet has great videos, Dan Bacon and the like, who can coach the average guy to be much more capable talking to women he finds attractive. The early pick up artist community developed real knowledge about flirting and attraction. They burned their public reputation by marketing to cl…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/26 02:37 PM
7

"Most women are in committed relationships and most of the women who are single are not interested in casual sex. Most men are not in committed relationships and are interested in casual sex. " I think it's nonsense most women are currently in committed relationships and most men are not. The total number of men and women born each year is pretty close to matched. Women generally seek partners close to their own age, perhaps a bit older, but thats been consistent, so the age shift wouldn't affec…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 01:32 AM
1

*judgy
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:01 PM
2

Not surprised. But that punchline kink is their life for many guys. Lots of them in happy, long term relationships with very happy partners who consider themselves lucky. Go ahead and dump your sarcasm and scorn all you like. Happy beats sardonic and judge every day
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:00 PM
-3

To an eternal cuckold, your woman having casual sex with others might torment you with jealousy but likely turns you on. Strong mixed feelings, but more than icky
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 05:52 PM
–

My regards to your husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 11:20 PM
1

It's a joke. Apparently unsuccessful. You say he cheated zero times. I presume, had you mentioned him before, he would have cheated zero times then. 6 times zero is zero. So he has now cheated 6 times as much as before. Also, 8 times, or 20 times, or any number. I was posing as someone who disagrees with your premise that you have a partner who has integrity and honors his commitment to you. My attempt at humor was by aping her patronizing reaction to her discovery that his cheating has gotten s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 10:06 PM
-1

Oh my?! That's, what, six times as often as the last time you mentioned him! You poor dear....
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 09:20 PM
6

Correlation vs causation, as always. Pedophile predators consider single moms targets of opportunity, and scheme to gaslight her to get into her house, into her heart until she's dreaming he's the love of her life, until she can't live without him. Then he moves on the kid. She won't want to see. Maybe she actually can't. Pedophiles who scheme to use kids are predators, and should be branded on the forehead, so everyone knows. This is all true. And almost all guys who go sweet on a single mom ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:38 PM
6

So, responsive desire means what you want it to mean, and not what anyone else understands it to mean. I suppose you feel the same about responsive arousal as well. OK, we all believe you. For your world, all women are insincere and transactional. No one will ever actually love you. Hmm. You know, you may be right.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 04:12 PM
–

Not sure how to respond here. I don't think I've lied, if I'm the "you" you address. Not sure what you think are lies. My assertions were based on Perel's book, which was based on studies. If you have any more specifics you want addressed, serve them up. If you just like making a quick rant with no support or reasoning, I guess you just did.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 06:31 PM
1

A woman can have her interest caught by a man and be receptive to approach, and still be a long way from turned on enough for good sex. If her interest/desire goes 1-100, her initial impression of the guy might put her at 5. If he nonverbally responds to her flirting, and his response is attractive to her, her arousal might go to 10. He notices she's receptive and approaches, maybe 20, presuming he didn't ruin it when he opened his mouth. They flirt and it goes well, she's at 30. He breaks off a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:22 PM
1

I wasn't attributing the 85% to Perel. That's a "they say", something I've seen guys bitch about online.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:01 PM
1

I understand the build up in time to being essential. Both spontaneous and responsive arousal are responses to stimuli. Spontaneous is fast, responsive much less so.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 03:00 PM
3

Ok. You win. Give up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 05:54 PM
5

Likely you are or have been to someone, but you didn't notice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 05:28 PM
0

No. Recognizing a given woman's desire is beyond your control. If it comes, it comes in time. To the question of what can a man do; Be open to surprise. Notice when some woman shows some interest, though she's not the one who first caught your eye. Be patient. A woman who is mildly intrigued may become a feral, panting bedmate in her own time, with attentive, customized courtship. Don't despair that because THIS woman isn't pining for you NOW, that no woman will, ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 05:08 PM
7

She didn't claim any formula for guys to interest women in general. She did notice each woman was attracted differently, but most attracted to guys who were distinct. They weren't exactly like another guy, and weren't trying to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 04:38 PM
10

I read a book years ago, where the author interviewed about 50 women, ages 25 to 70, about the men they had slept with, especially with whom they had kids. She asked how it started. She was surprised to find in virtually all cases of the couple hundred men, the woman noticed something about him before she thinks he noticed her. The upshot was, unless she notices something appealing or intriguing first, it's not happening. She did find personal style in dress, manner, choice of car, were all impo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 04:03 PM
1

You're conflating intensity of desire with becoming indiscriminate. While it's true, if the horny gets strong enough our standards become more practical, for both genders, it's also true men are more likely to jump straight there just from the sight of part of some woman's body, knowing nothing else about her. Most women get intensely aroused through a process. She responds to a set of stimuli she experiences, maybe she seeks. Her high arousal needs a slow burn. Both genders experience both kind…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 03:53 PM
1

Perel's point was that women don't want it less overall. They just take longer to get there, after experiencing whatever works for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 03:36 PM
0

My point is that basically, men will find more desire with humility and patience. "She doesn't want me like I want her." Well, not right away. But with time, familiarity, knowing I will keep her safe, courtship, teasing and flirting, her desire may grow a lot. Or, not. I may not be the one for her. I shouldn't get ahead of myself or her. I wait for her to develop and show the beginnings of interest in me, and if I feel attracted to her, I approach. Then we build over time. I'm saying that as a m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 11:02 AM
1

Well, I guess you're just fucked then. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 09:21 PM
0

You missed my point. Women get aroused for their own reasons. My point is women don't get there as quickly as guys generally. Guys complaining that women don't get attracted to guys as fast are doomed to frustration. If guys get in the habit of giving her some time and then approaching women who are interested in him, he'll end up with more sex and better sex in his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 09:03 PM
1

Clearly perel is better at explaining this than I am
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 08:06 PM
1

Good luck
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 08:02 PM
1

As Perel writes, both men and women experience both spontaneous and responsive arousal. Men are usually much more inclined to high arousal spontaneously
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 08:00 PM
1

Sorry missing your gender and orientation. My bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:45 PM
1

The limpid eyes show she's aroused. She got there over time, so responsive. The spontaneous arousal is getting aroused for her suddenly, usually visually for guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:43 PM
0

So you win on dictionary, when you're the referee. Congratulations! I hope your victory makes you happy enough to make up for the good sex you're missing with women who didn't want to jump you on sight
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:39 PM
1

My main point is, we have lives more full of joyful sex if we don't write off a woman who doesn't flip for us immediately. Notice when women who have had a chance to learn something about you seem to be open to your approach. Don't be surprised if she doesn't get her "ladyboner" without feeling safe, courted, caressed, teased. She can get very aroused on her own timeline. It's nice to be with her when she does, if you feel the same for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:35 PM
1

If you're right, there's nothing you can do to improve your love life. Good luck
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:24 PM
0

My point wasn't that men should do nothing, but that men shouldn't be despondent that women don't feel strong desire immediately like many men. Give her a chance to notice you. If she's interested enough to show she would welcome your approach, and you want to, act. And don't expect most women to show that openness to approach if you're a stranger
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:17 PM
2

And it never increased? Your whole life, have you ever known a woman who wanted you more when she knew you better?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:03 PM
1

Women, like men, can have initial interest from someone's look. She will likely not reach anywhere near the arousal needed to enjoy goid sex unless it builds a lot, over time, spurred by whatever turns her on, about that guy in particular. Men also reach higher arousal in time, but are much more likely to get aroused enough to be sex-ready from the first visual triggers. The increase over time is responsive arousal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 07:01 PM
2

And when you're bulking, 30% body fat, do all women who found you attractive at 15 lose all interest? No one has ever shown interest unless you are ripped? That would be sad, but i expect you've been missing indicators of interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 06:57 PM
2

Read some Perel. She's persuasive
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 06:55 PM
1

My experience has been different. Consider the woman who most desired you in your whole life. Right away or after a while? For me, always after time
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 06:50 PM
2

My personal experience, the women who have most desired me, it's been after they knew me for a while. They likely found me appealing enough to consider at first, but the strong arousal grew. For you, has that not been true?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 06:45 PM
1

You complain that it's like a contract and people look for loopholes. Then you lament the change from the old days, where everyone presumed they knew expectations. Sounds like a contract to me, just one with "standard" terms. After 3 months, I presume any reasonably perceptive woman would have a clue about whether her partner thought they were more than casual. So she could have broached the topic of being exclusive. She didn't. Maybe she's not bowled over happy and imagining wedding dresses. Ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 04:13 PM
3

This. Communication, baby. You should come to know her well enough to know how much is too much. Lots of loving support is likely appreciated when needed. If it's out of place given your relationship; like it's quick, like it's untethered to how you've learned your partner feels loved, it can seem manipulative. Like trying to sneak into her heart. We all like to be cared for by our loved ones. It's nice when they have a life aside from us, with other relationships important to them. She cancels …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 06:54 PM
1

I wonder what is the point of all these general complaints and debates about All Men and All Women. If the person making the argument "won", and EVERYONE agreed, but nobody changed, who would be happy? Any road to some utopia, where we think we would find happiness and peace, that depends on others changing, is doomed to frustration. If that road requires half the population to change, well.... I agree that many or most men are taught that a man can chamber his emotions and do what is required i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 04:12 PM
1

Dude, chill. In my experience, women get traumatized when men behave very badly. Certainly such that I would be traumatized. Most women aren't against guys flirting. They wish more guys were good at it. Most 12 year old girls could give you lessons on ways to tell if a girl or woman is interested, even a little, in a given guy. Many guys couldn't tell. Successful flirting usually starts before the approach. The woman indicates she's receptive to being approached before the guy moves. When a guy …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 08:42 PM
3

Are you confident you can spot a woman interested in you? Most important skill for getting started. Most girls can tell if a woman is interested from 6th grade. About half of men never learn. Get female friends or family to help. Then, only pick the puppy that has already picked you. You don't have to date them all. Just chat up the half you find more attractive. If you've noticed two and haven't approached, then approach the next no matter if you find her attractive. If you don't know how to ta…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 07:37 PM
-1

You can't control how she thinks or responds. One can interpret her nonverbals based on previous experience with other women and girls. One does take a chance by approaching and might be rebuffed if you misread her or she changes her mind. "Transgressing" is a strong word if you're paying attention and saw some signal that could reasonably be read as an invitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 04:59 PM
29

I'm sure there are women who do see unattractive guys as fundamentally creepy, like there are men who get worked up about how unattractive they personally find some woman, though she hadn't asked. I find most women find a guy creepy not because she personally doesn't find him attractive, but because he seems clueless about the nonverbal, or verbal, cues she gives him about not being attracted to him, when he tries flirting with her. She expects an adult to have developed some minimal ability to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 07:41 PM
0

It's not a contradiction if two DIFFERENT women give answers that conflict. If the same woman is arguing both sides, then yes, she's playing to win despite whatever the facts are. If different women have different opinions, that's natural. Notice: This is the official position of ALL MEN, as adopted at the latest all men conference. Disagree at your peril.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 03:52 PM
1

I was being sarcastic, as I'm sure you knew. A few comments back, I recognized I'm not a match for you, and recognized we treat sex differently, wishing you well. Why do you still need to insist, AGAIN, that this wouldn't work for you? Do you want me to acknowledge that EVEN HARDER? Is your day going to be ruined if I don't change to see you're right and I'm wrong? I don't expect either of us to change our outlook from a reddit chat. I expect your chances of finding a guy who fits multi, rigid c…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 08:51 PM
1

Then you have found your best life already. Congranulations!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 05:39 PM
1

Clearly for you, I would be excluded. You require someone with limits around sex similar to your own. I wish you luck. There are lots of guys who share your standards. Some of those guys meet their own standard. Some have different requirements for themselves versus their partner. I agree that is hypocritical. My overall point is, if you have inflexible standards for a potential partner in multiple areas, each standard on its own screening out most men, you're left with a tiny pool of potential …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 04:02 PM
2

It IS degenerate, cuckolding behavior. If you do it together, you are both being bad. Very, very bad. But together, so no dishonesty. Being bad can be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 01:31 PM
2

Any chance you're from the windy city?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 12:59 PM
1

A girl after my own fart. Have you ever had the pleasure of your 69 partner relaxing and letting one out in your nose?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 12:39 PM
3

My point is, if you disqualify completely for common behavior, you aren't left with many prospects. I'm not saying you give a guy a chance if he only abused a child a little. I'm saying if his legal livelihood supports him, he lives within his means, and doesn't have trouble with money, then maybe that's good enough on the income question. If he watches porn now and again, maybe he'd like to watch some with you. If he drinks or tokes, is that something you could share? If he had a massage that i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 12:27 PM
11

Per quick search, 44 % of men have watched porn in the last month. Disqualifying? I expect pot use rivals alcohol use. Any use is disqualifying? Decent living, meaning better income and status than most work? Depending on how you draw your threshold, just this list could exclude most men easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 07:52 PM
1

I was talking about dating when I brought it up. "And finally, we flirt with an eye toward going somewhere alone together. "
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 08:08 PM
1

Most of the time women aren't dating. Most dating people don't dwell on the worst possibility most of the time. I read a survey somewhere of men and women of what worried them most in dating. The men reported fearing being diminished, ridiculed, disrespected. The women said getting killed.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 07:51 PM
1

Quite the straw man/bimbo argument you have there. Some women show questionable judgment, so all women make bad choices for no reason. Yeah, you got me. Be proud.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 07:24 PM
1

The cultural norms get shaped by the unsuccessful approaches each way. When a guy sees a woman who interests him, and he's aware of and attentive to non verbal cues, he only approaches if he understands he has a green light. The guys who ignore the non verbal and barge into a conversation anyway are taking a big chance, and should expect to get rejected. To me, they are like the construction site cat caller, who doesn't expect to actually start a courtship, but is more showing off for his friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 06:26 PM
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